Leah takes a hold of my hand and has my attention, and then says, “First, tell me what’s so important that is going around in your pretty head.”

“Well, Patti and I are back to being best friends and may even date some. But she told me not to worry about her and me, because we’re going to stay best friends. She said, "I should think about dating Pete and boys like him that I’ll meet in my travels.”

“Hearing that was kind of yucky, yet Hattie also knows it is kind of true. Like after a show and meeting the public. Hattie and I are taken with some of the same boys we’ve seen and it seems that they’re interested in us. It’s nice on the ego if they are. Not that I want to date them though.”

Leah says, “Be honest, I saw you dance with guys at Indianapolis. And was I just seeing things when you were at Chicago? Both at the photo shoot and then the fashion show on the pier. I think you watched yourself more than Attie on the Navy Pier but you actually were teasing some of the helpers at the photo shoot.”

“Now we're getting ready for traveling to Boston and New York City only weeks later.”

“I know the itinerary Leah and so what if I did have fun flirting. Sometimes I just get caught up in the attention.” I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow as well as Mom’s doctor. The more I delight in being Teri, I see Pete as a safe boyfriend to have. Last summer if we were going to get together it had to be at his house. He’d humiliate me at playing sports games he and the other boys like… This summer he comes here most of the time and seems happier when I’m Teri. He apologized once when we kissed, but we both were kinda getting carried away.”

Leah inquires, “You know Teri, when I see you from behind you are filling out your clothes more like your sister. You act a lot more casual around Patti though I can tell you still get a little hot around her when your affections have been stirred. But you seem to be doing as she suggested in taking interest in Pete and boys on the road.” Leah warns me, “She may have suggested you to date Pete and other boys and treat her as your best friend, but you’d be wise not to neglect your relationship with her. Whether you’re Teri or Terrance, Patti is probably the relationship that will weather storms and one you might be with when all is said and done.”

Leah continued, “Boyfriends for girls, come and go; sometimes a person might overlook the most important person and not realize they love them.” I cleansed my face for the night and was going to get ready for bed when Hattie suggests we all have facials. Hattie gave me a facial and Leah did the same for Hattie and Leah asked our mother to do hers. Needless to say, Mom didn’t ask about herself but we agreed to do hers in the morning or to pay for a salon visit.

Mom talked to me about what I thought of my facial. It felt good having it done. She’s a little concerned that each time makeup people did it for me it’s harder to regain Terry’s look. However, it hasn’t stopped me yet.

Today when I was downtown looking at stores alone I went to the restaurant to get a bite for lunch. It was one of the rare times I got hassled by a group of local boys. They were a year or two older than me. Trevor bumped me as he was coming out. “Sorry pretty boy, but you better watch out you don’t want that pretty face rearranged.” A step away, he said, “Pretty soft up top for a boy, aren’t you? We’re not as impressed as some others. I think most of them are afraid to tell you what they think of you. It’s not politically correct.”

I said, “I’ve not done anything to hurt you. And I don’t want trouble.”

Mack said, “Maybe we do. What do you say about that?”

I don’t say anything but try to walk around them, but Trevor takes hold of my arm. My automatic reaction is to slap his hand off. Instead, he takes hold of my wrist and jerks me to follow him outside. I say, “Let go, you’re hurting me!”

“That’s the point B*, you’re not welcome here.” Though he weighs more, he’s not much bigger and I resist going with them. I use my other hand to grab and push Mack into Trevor. Kicking him in the butt which causes Trevor to let go. And once I’m inside they move on.

I’m shaken by what happened but it happened quickly enough that others didn’t see. At least no one comments about seeing it at first. Once I’m seated, Tess a girl from school comes over and asks if I’m alright. “I didn’t see much but it looked like you had a little skirmish with Trevor and his friends.”

I told her what happened and she says, “I can’t believe that happened here in our town. What are you going to do?”

I had my phone and I was already texting Mom. “Mom, I’m at Elmo’s and I’m scared. Can someone come to pick me up? I have a car, but…”

I order an iced tea, a small salad, and a fish sandwich. I asked Tess to order something too. She and a friend brought their stuff over to my table as we’re now sitting together.

We talked and I was taken with how we visited as girls. The other girl Fiona said, “Would you like to go to the women’s room with me and freshen up?” I was glad that she asked as I was afraid of not being accepted in doing so. She was pleasantly amused, “I hope you don’t mind my being amused. What happened isn’t funny, but my helping a boy in here to collect herself. I kind of feel empowered to be helpful… Sorry, it probably doesn’t make sense or helpful.”

I say, “We both understand and yes you are helpful to me. You empowered me to become composed again. I appreciate what you and Tess have done.” There were blemishes in my makeup. A damp napkin and using my makeup took away the mess made. Fiona helps with some of it as my hands shake when I try to concentrate.

We were back at the table and our drinks have come and our food soon follows. I was taking a bite of my salad when I saw Mom, Hattie and Leah come into the restaurant. We moved to a corner booth. My Mom and sisters order drinks and we talked. Tess and Fiona were going to excuse themselves but I invited them to stay.

I didn’t see Leah write a note to Tess, ‘You’re invited to a free entrance to one of our fashion shows or a gift at the mall store.’ I learned later that Ms. Briggs gave each of them a modest outfit of their choosing.

Mom did have a police person come to our house and I gave a statement of what happened. Officer Margaret said, “I’ve come to think of the Carsten family and the Slade sisters as pretty interchangeable. Since you are not formally filing charges, we’ll just let Trevor and his group know to leave you alone. There could be serious charges facing them if they should do something because of your gender identity.”

She said, “It is nice to meet you, I just wish it was around your modeling. You all have made a good name for yourself and it reflects well on our community.”

Hattie and I commented that we had met her when she gave a presentation at our elementary school. We were growing up then and in elementary school. Marge said, “You’re that Terrance, I was wondering about that.” She suggested what Mom had already told Hattie and me; we’re not to be going around the community alone for a while.

We were going to New York City to see Jenna who had won the auction. She was co-sponsoring a social event of golfing and a women’s night out in the city. The golfing event was out on Long Island and the evening out was in Manhattan at a ballroom ten floors up overlooking Times Square. It was a benefit and during the night Attie and Teri Slade were each modeling three outfits and another three gowns; all of which were being auctioned off. The prices they brought in New York City reminded us this was a much different world from Indiana, even Indianapolis.

I was to some like Santa with some wondering if I’m really a young woman. My complexion and time tanning my body have aided my appearance and helps the allure of the mystique. Wearing one evening dress I was invited to sit on a lady’s lap. Heather was grateful that I followed through and invited me back to share in a discussion. She paid seven times the value of the dress, saying it would first be offered to a niece to see if she wanted it.

I was surprised later that evening when I returned for our conversation to discover, she hadn’t always looked like the woman I saw. She made a nice income acting and sometimes as a mystery person who was two different identities and genders in a stage production or other venues.

During our time in NYC Attie and I did a photo shoot, advertisements for tuxedos and formal gowns. This photo shoot turned out well for those wanting it. But the photographer was difficult with us and not very good in communicating to us what he wanted. Someone said, he thought it was beneath him to be photographing teens for a cheap commercial venue. He preferred taking all stills but this also required video and our speaking. It was our first entrance into the market of making commercials, which he said was beneath him.

The upper echelon of those we model for was said to be watching closely to how we were doing in New York City and in doing commercials. Leah is quickly cutting her teeth in learning her trade as our agent. Some criticize how simplistic she is and other appreciate how easy it is to work with us. We did learn some details that needed to be spelled out or it could add cost to us.

We experienced a number of professional photographers taking numerous pictures of us on the streets, though most didn’t know for sure who we were. We were recognized by the public some of the time and that usually went well. Several times when we entered an establishment, we were asked not to sign autographs while we were inside.

Interesting enough it was usually the store or restaurant that made the exceptions. Once we dressed casually as Hattie and Terry. Hattie was happy that she and not Terrance was receiving the majority of attention, even though we were not wanting it at that moment.

We had one evening with escorts to be out on the town. Several night spots were open to us despite our ages. Leah was with us and our escorts were young college age guys, properly screened. It was hard to remember it is was just a fun night out and nothing more. I was finding Gil, my escort very attractive. Our kisses and passion as the evening progressed became more pleasing to me. When another young man approached us I was taken by his looks as well. Patti’s words came back to me about seeing guys in a new way. I didn’t feel bad just that it was happening and I was liking it.

Once we got back to the hotel, I asked Leah to excuse the guys. I wanted to talk to my sisters alone before going up to our suite. “Leah and Hattie, did you two realize I was having feelings for Gil as well as the other guy who danced and wanted to be with me?”

Leah said yes and Hattie nodded in the affirmative. Leah saying, “I made sure you were okay, but I was pretty sure you knew and wanted to be with him.”

“I’m having more and more feelings as Teri, don’t you think that I shouldn’t?”

Hattie takes a hold of a hand, “How were you feeling about it?” I can tell she’s happy for me, but not assuming anything. We kind of know each other’s thoughts, but we treasure the other being there for us. Leah has become closer since we began to model. I guess her and Hattie had always felt close.

Hattie says, “You can’t be concentrating on being Teri like you are and not expect you’re slipping more into character. I think to come to Chicago, she Teri was no longer someone else, she’s you.”

We relax in the lounge but even Leah doesn’t order any wine or anything. Moments later Mom is down giving us hugs individually. She has learned to express her love for us, before critically being a parent. I know for one, I’ve worked harder to please her and follow her advice as much or more than the average teen girl.

Tomorrow we would be Jenna’s guests one last time in New York City.

When we go to Jenna’s I’m wearing designer jeans that have a metro-unisex look. They are high fashion and I’m wearing a top that goes along with it. I have a camisole underneath, nicer than the undershirt I first tried first. When we get up to Jenna’s loft apartment a number of her friends are there. She has two Masseuses and invites Hattie and Leah to try it first. She had talked to my Mom and soon she agreed that Jenna and I could be second and Mom would go after that.

Jenna talks to me, “It looks like Terry’s boy look is getting softer. Do you see yourself living more as Trei?”

I surprised myself, saying with no reservation, “Yeah, I kind of came as Terry, but I’m now wishing I had dressed as Teri. I’m feeling more natural as Teri. It’s been more of a head thing thinking I should be Terrance.”

Jena says, “Grab your credit card, we’re going to find an outfit you can change into after our massages.” I thought we were going to be riding off, but once outside she says, “There are these marvelous boutiques two blocks away. I think you’ll find something irresistible.”

It was nice to walk and I found myself talking to Jenna like I would with Leah. She’s probably at least seven years older than my sister but we have a good chemistry. She tells me how the neighborhood is changing over. “The new people like myself and a good half of the longtime residents get along. Beat cops have even set up a new ten square block district.”

I said, “That’s not very big.” Jenna says, “Would you believe there are a hundred thousand people here, a little more probably. Each row house has two or more households. There are some people I enjoy sitting on their porches with. One woman my momma’s age invites me over for a home cooked meal at least once a week. Her sons had moved to Jersey or Connecticut having landed better jobs. Her daughters including those married are there for dinner several times a week.”

We get to the boutique and from designer jeans to skirts, blouses and dresses there is a little choice of most items. From a floppy hat to a blouse that lets you or your bra show trough. I’m enthralled. I tried on two outfits, several dresses before I settled on a different outfit I could go naturale in. I did buy a set of lace panties and bra, knowing that would be required back in Indiana. I liked a pair of flat sandals but had already spent too much. Jenna says, “When you come to the city you need to plan to indulge and get one outfit each time. You’ve bought some clothes, but this is your New York outfit for this trip. And it includes your shoes. You can justify it by this masseuse doing you free. Your friend Jan Coffman said you can charge much of it to your sponsors. They’re more than happy with Teri coming out.

By the time we get back to Jenna’s place; my mom has had her massage time. She’s taking her time soaking in a large hot tub. Jenna says it belongs to her and her neighbor Connie. Mom tells me, “Teri do yourself a favor and don’t worry about covering yourself during your time with the masseuse.” It was that Jenna and I were on tables that faced each other that worried me at first.

“You’re another woman to me,” said Jenna. The massage and time in the hot tub took another hour and a half. At first, I felt all drained, more like limp spaghetti, but wonderful. Toni my masseuse was good, she loosened areas I didn’t know I had. The fact I became aroused, I guess was neither a surprise nor mattered. I was cleaned up before going into the water.

Ready to get dressed, it took a big effort for me to choose and go with what I wanted. My breasts are little more than buds but to have them free and showing felt like a big step forward. I wore the lace panty as I did not want myself flopping around reminding me I was Terry. Once out with the group; it was Leah that came and unlaced my blouse down to my belly. I have worn tops like it on the runway, but this is the first time for myself.

The time was a comradery of similar professional women, welcoming Hattie and me… Later back at our hotel suite, Mom gathered us. She said, “All indications are you are going to be around for a while. Both Jan Coffman and Ms. Briggs have communicated with us.” Jenna told them, “The girls are now known in our circles in the City.” Regarding New York and major cities, we are still small fish in the big ponds. You’re to continue as Teri and Attie Slader though more in our community know who we are.

Days later Mom asked before we were to see my counselor and her doctor, “Teri, are you wanting to be the one who is going back to school this year?” I’m pretty sure she knew the answer would be yes. I’m having a new counselor who works with more people considering transitioning. Ph.D. Cheryl Woods is in Fort Wayne, and now I’m to see Dr. Michele Dorft a partner to Mom’s GYN. Dr. Dorft also has a specialty in Endocrinology as well as with GYN.

My first appointment was at 11:00 a.m. and Patti came to our house at 10 saying she was coming with me. I argued, “You don’t go with me to either appointment. I don’t need you tagging along.”

“Tough, I’m excited for you and I already know girl stuff you don’t.” She gives me a warm kiss squarely on my lips. “Please, I don’t want to fight you on this, but I do want to be there for you.”

“I’m not even sure if I’m going to go through with this.”

Patti says, “You know you’re already a girl. You could change, but I don’t think so. It is more a matter of when and how. You have a great family, but you need the support of friends as well. Maybe they can give me some pointers in helping you… Plus I’m bossy.”

Story to be continued…