Sweet Dreams-66

*Before…

It’s still a good day.

I’m wearing a cute outfit with black leggings and some nice but comfy actual shoes and not sneakers and a used pleated almost tweed skirt from the store with these really cool big buttons instead of the whole zipper thing and I’m wearing a black Iggy-Pop wild one t-shirt and a zip front hoody that’s one of Alex’s workout ones from the football team as my jacket and I’m in normal make-up actually just even pretty tame style for me and much more of an April taught thing and some simple jewelry.

Not too high end but not too punk give someone a hard time and not too goth to off put the preps and yet still rocking enough to rock the t-shirt and the retro skirt.

And with Alex with me and us actually still kind of still feeling the whole morning workout and all of that we’re getting looks and I take a drink of my coffee and start actually talking to people and it’s kind of great as I’m even actually remembering names as I introduce Alex who everyone seems to know anyways and yet we’re still a sort of mystery couple.
There’s some looks from folks as some of our usual friends come over and I keep the conversation going about fundraising using the team and not for the team with some of the other clubs and teams in the school and instead of the other kids leaving because the jocks and cool kids came over everyone’s actually talking.

*And Now…

It’s still one of those really trippy things for me just talking to kids like this and not having to hunch and hide either.

I get that I’m still pretty much popular through Alex and I’m really not putting myself down either it’s the truth but my old school my old life was pretty much move and move again and duck and cover when I was in a school long enough to kinda sort of matter.

And being all sexually ambiguous wasn’t fun either.

Being in the middle if you’re intersex or not isn’t fun and it’s as bad as being regular binary trans.

And yeah I still consider myself trans.

I’ve read a lot of stuff online that’s pretty mouthy when it comes to trans folks and intersex folks and the conservative anti-trans mob always yells don’t drag intersex folks into trans issues.

Screw that and screw them I’m both.

But...that’s actually not going on through my head it’s the feeling of being post op.

Not the feeling of being like completed but there’s this feeling of finally...I get and see me now...clearly.

And it’s really nice to have a direction.

I feel like I’m not walking around mentally hunched up and being defensive.

And yeah Alex is a huge part of that and so is having support at home.

So we make the rounds before class and then we share a quick kiss PDA as the bell rings and it’s off to class.

I like class too, all of them.

I mean some are just sorta meh but it’s an easy environment, it’s warm here too and clean and just well hugely different.

And some of the classes like the computer studies class I’m in it’s unreal in a good way.

The things we have here are stuff that...well I’ve said it before.

It’s one of those other side of the TV things.

Poor kids like me just only seen this on shows and this is...everyone has a smartphone and a tablet and nice clothes, there’s a school network you can get help from a teacher who’s on there sorta like an admin.

The difference in resources is just.

That’s part of what I want to fight for.

Look I’m not sure if I can do anything for places like my old school but even right here there’s a big gulf between the popular and the unpopular kids and the stuff that they’re in.

And I’m not seeing too many folks looking to change the status quo.

The bell rings for lunch and suddenly now it’s on.

The popularity war getting waged between classes means lunch time is like Saturday-Night’s Main Event.

That was a sort of old wrestling thing.

I’m on my way to meet Alex and I’m getting looks from people like there’s something going on.

Anika’s got the place plastered with posters of her and her “court” and there’s stuff talking about her being “someone from here”... “Knowing the school.”... “Knowing the students.”... “Knowing our traditions.” and there’s other posters of her doing things with people in suits and classy looking people in some school events and another poster that doesn’t have her on it at all but Jen and Cindy and “LGBT? or Just Pretty and Trending.”

That one was cute in a mean way with a border that’s made to look like flannel and there’s the pink feminist symbol fists in each corner so it had to have some cash behind it.

Wow just wow that’s a lotta money to throw at this.

I run into Betty who’s looking at me from her phone now and then as I get closer.

“Hey what’s up.” I ask.

“Anika and others are tweet-bashing you, though I’m sure her twitter account’s clean.” She moves to show me her phone and there’s stuff like.

“Who the fuck is Hunter anyway?”
“Where’d she even come from?”
“Hunter’s fucking fake.”
“Hunters not a punk or goth she’s some poser.”

And lots of stuff like that and speculative stuff of where I’m from, that I’m a junkie because of what Jen said back on the bus, that I’m a beard for Alex because he broke up with Jen.

That he and Jen broke up because he’s a fag and she’s bi.

And that all leads to the anti-gay stuff on him but Jen and Cindy and there’s a whole thread stream of them being fake because they’re both fake lesbians too.
That two femmes are like super impossible rare and that makes them not just fake but stealing from real lesbians.

The worst part of those bits is there are real homophobes on there and there are people on there that fall into that LGBT has to be a certain way kind of folks.

Betty looks at me. “You okay?”

I shrug. “It is what it is Betts, pretty much folks with too much time on their hands and money to go with it.”

She nods. “So what are you going to do?”

“Me, nothing. Anika and her little buddies will get frustrated and go too far.”

We meet up with our friends and I see Alex and he’s got some of my sheets with him and I adjust the lunch I have with us and we kiss.

Yum…

And we go like that until we get coughs from people and faculty.

Alex blushes some and we stay close face to face in that almost kissing sway.

“How was class?” He asks.

“Pretty good, I’m still getting used to stuff and catching up.”

He smiles. “You’ll get there you’re really smart.”

I nod. “Well having a life now where I’m not under threat or just spending energy trying to survive really helps too.”

He hugs me tenderly which does get looks because that’s not the usual PDAs and we head to get a table where we usually don’t sit and wave to our friends but we go and we sit where others are getting looks.

One guy looks at us starting to get up. “Slumming?”

I look at him. “Nope.”

“Bullshit, normally you’d be way over there with the jocks and the preps.”

I start opening our lunch. “You’re right Alex is on the team with them, he works with them kinda and I’m with Alex and new so where was I going to sit?”

He looks at me and is frowning. “So still why are you here now?”

“Bluntly?”

“Yeah fucking bluntly.” He’s watching Alex for signs of him losing it and beating him up or something like that and Alex is just putting food out and tasting a few things.

“I’m running for homecoming and I want to talk to you all.”

“So here for bullshit.”

Alex says mildly. “Actually we’re here to maybe put a stopper in the bullshit.”

The guy looks at me and so do the others. “Whaddayamean?”

I smile and sit opening a bottle of water.

“I want homecoming queen and court to have to be a working title.”

The talk takes up lunch with them and my ideas to make changes to the office of homecoming and there’s lots of questions and the fact that i’m honest in this seems to take hold.

These kids aren’t the popular sets, sure they’re kinda a lot better off than where I’m from but there’s a lot of kids here that are just like kids everywhere just trying to keep their heads down and getting out of highschool alive.

Even here there’s folks that don’t live charmed lives like the popular kids and the ones that use it like a social weapon.

Alex snuffs out a lot of the jock tropes with him talking about how he’s good at something he’s never been in love with because of getting pushed by his dad and getting good transcripts and how all of that’s sort of been scripted for him.

Until me.

“Hunter’s knocked that all around, got in dad’s face and fought but they also get along too.”

Someone asks. “You get along with that asshole?”

Okay someone calling Adam an asshole made Alex grin.

I nod. “Sort of. I mean he’s still an asshole and a stuck up prick by times but he came up from fuck all really and he wants that for Alex. He didn’t take Alex’s feelings into it and more so we butted heads over it but the thing is I’m kinda like him. I grew up down in Linwood and other shit places with a bunch of addicts for a parent and step shit.”

That got looks.

I grin. “What? We all know fucked up families right? Well that’s mine, a crappy home life and stuff.”

There’s some nods. I look at each of them and smile a little. “That’s why I get Adam, Alex’s dad gets that I really, really want out of ever going back to that kind of life. And I’m actually more interested in following his footsteps than Alex is.”

The guy looks at Alex. “So what are you planning to do?”

Alex takes out his sketch book. “I want to be an artist. I’m planning on going to architecture school because that’ll be acceptable enough for dad.”

They pass the book around and there’s nods and smiles as they pass it back.

I pass the sheets ahead to them we have. “Look I’m serious about having homecoming change and be more about the school than the popularity thing it is and there’s a lot we could do with the faculty and the student council. There’s lots of room on there for suggestions that I can use to fight for and that I can take to people with real numbers saying look this many kids want this or need this.”

There’s lots of nods and we shake hands and there’s even a few sort of really light hugs as the bell is ringing and we spent all of lunch there.

I think we got through a little though.

And y’know even if I don’t win what I’m trying to do will be out there. Someone might not let the idea die or it just might mean that the court will just be expected to do more.

Alex and I kiss breaking apart at more coughs and I see Jen and Cindy doing the same and getting more flak from some folks saying some pretty jerky stuff as anonymous as possible.

I’ll say this the faculty knows better than to go there.

Anika and Kathy and her bunch are looking at most of us with hate definitely going on and I’m not sure who she’s hating on more.

Kathy’s easy...me, because she’s eyeing Alex like he’s something she wants really badly.

And there’s others too with that look of me not being good enough.

Sigh.

I sneak another kiss before going off to afternoon classes.

Again they’re fine and I have a study period which I actually use to study going to the library and doing homework and getting a head start on a few assignments with English and Creative writing and stuff from my life home and street perspectives plus there’s reading I’m doing for History class that I’m getting done both using the computers and the books as well.

There’s a lot of things in book that literally don’t get put online.

I’m even making a sort of copy paste study guide for History as if you go online you can find the same editions on free PDF from some universities and colleges.

It sounds like a lot but ten minutes of writing twice over and then twenty five of studying with the copy paste thing which is a lot like the old highlighting thing back home but I’m literally highlighting the stuff like before but I’m making a study guide from it at the same time.

Then classes are done and I’m getting my stuff and talking to a bunch more kids on what I’m trying to do with Homecoming as I’m heading to the playing area where Alex and Jen and Cindy will be having practice and I’m going through the concrete bleacher alley when there’s footsteps.

Thing is that yeah there’s lots of people and you’d think you’d not be able to pick up someone coming at you but that’s actually wrong.

It’s like unless they’re trying to jump you on the sneak you can hear them taking those steps at you.

Ask folks that’ve been in real fights, there’s something that translates from attitude and intent into steps.

I turn and see Anika and Kathy plus someone I don’t know stalk/stomp waking right at me.

And that was just stupid as someone punches me in the head from behind with something metal that hurts! Not like the impact hurt but the fucking thing bit me!

I hear them laughing and I reach back and there’s blood and I pull a fucking staple out of my scalp.