Totally Insane 2(completed).

The toilet seat grew harder as I sat and waited for the last bell. I wondered what I could do, maybe Karen or Gemma would have some ideas.

I reflected on how long I’d known them. Karen and Brian used to knock about in a gang, and I got to know Gemma a year or two ago. She of course picked up on the mispronunciation of my name and I assumed her mother thought I was a girl. I did have long hair back then, and I’d only been to her house a few times, so it seemed like a reasonable error. Now, if I went there again, I’d have to stay in unisex or girly mode.

I thought about Brian, he’d never know if I tried again or not. Then again, he could still destroy my friendship with Philip. Oh shoot! I’m an easy going sort of lad who avoids upsetting others and who respects the feelings of others, so why does this shit always seem to happen to me?

Why does everybody want me to be a girl? Or do they, maybe they just like someone smaller than them, they can threaten or humiliate. It isn’t fair. Yet if I attempt to hit back I always seem to get the worst of it. The number of times I tried it with Brian, now I just accept it.

I suppose because I’m small and delicate looking, they assume I’m effeminate and gay. I don’t know if I am or not, I like being with the girls, especially the Smith girls, but I don’t know why, except they make me feel good. They tease me, but it’s friendly teasing unlike Brian’s which is mean.

I spent the night with Gemma and nothing happened, I didn’t even get excited, maybe I am gay or just a late developer. I don’t know. I felt my eyes fill with tears again and I managed to blot them with some toilet paper. If I go out of here looking like a panda, I will draw attention to myself.

I checked my phone, it was nearly twelve. Thank goodness for that. My throat began to dry a bit and my stomach began to cramp again. If this was how periods felt, I was glad to be a boy.

Life is tough, mine at this moment felt particularly so. I readied myself for the bell, checked my lip gloss - it gave me something to do. The bell went and I managed to jump and get some up my nose. I remedied it with a tissue.

I was just about to leave, when I decided I needed to go to the loo. I shut the door again and sat down and weed then broke wind, but that was all. I wiped and washed my hands. Other girls came in and looked at me, I smiled back but gave no more than a nod.

I walked out of the loos and down the corridor to the entrance, Karen was there and nodded at me. I walked out of the school and back towards her house.

Some four or five hundred yards on the way to her house is a bit of a green with some bench seats. I sat there and waited for Karen. She came about ten minutes later.

“Did you get it?”

“No, it wasn’t there.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I searched it twice. I can even tell you how many sanitary towels she has.”

“Too much information!” she said pulling a face. “So what are you going to do?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well you tried.”

“Tell Brian.”

“I take it you did.”

“He continued to make threats.”

“What sort of threats?”

“Once before when I annoyed him, he put round rumours I was gay. My best friend at the time got beaten up and his mother removed him from the school. I’m still treated like a leper in the changing rooms.”

“He did that to you and you still help him?”

“He threatened to do the same to Philip Gonnersal.”

“Do I know him?”

“I dunno, I play badminton with him.”

“Oh he was the guy who was entering for the mixed doubles competition, I knew I knew the name.”

“Not with me.”

“I don’t recall there being a second name.”

“Maybe he’s got a girl friend?” I asked the universe.

“Probably. So what are we going to do now?”

“I can’t do anything else, can I? If it’s not there, it could be anywhere or no where.”

“What did Brian say?”

I showed her the text. She shook her head.

“All suggestions gratefully received.”

At this point Gemma arrived. “Goodness, I had an awful job getting rid of Sylvie Fisher. Did you get it?”

“No, she didn’t,” said Karen.

“Oh, so that was a waste of time?”

“Yep,” I confirmed. I looked at both the sisters, “Why does your mother think I’m a girl?”

Karen got up off the seat and asked for my phone, She told me to stand next to Gemma. She then took a picture of the two of us. Then she handed the phone back. It looked like two school girls, me being the smaller one.

“But before that, I remember the first time I came over she called to you that, ‘Kylie was here,’ and I distinctly said Kyle.”

“The long hair I expect. It’s longer than mine, and once she thought you were a girl, it’s stayed that way.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

“If she thought you were a boy, do you think she’d have let you stay last night?”

“No, probably not.”

“Some things are best left unsaid.”

“Wow! That’s philosophical,” said Karen, mocking her sister.

“What am I going to do?” I asked trying to refocus on my problem.

“Get some lunch?” asked Gemma.

“Good idea,” agreed Karen and we wandered off back to their house.

Unfortunately, their mother didn’t work, so she was home when we got there. “So how did it go, Kylie?” she asked me.

“It was very similar to my school, you know, books and boring lessons.”

The two girls laughed and so did Mrs Smith. “Anything different?”

“Yes, the walls in the toilets are grey, in my school, they’re pink.”

“Is that the only difference?”

“As far as I noticed.”

“Did you see the sports facilities?” she asked.

“Not really, just boring classrooms.”

“Shame, they’re supposed to be very good.”

“Oh come on, Mummy, give her a break. It’s a school, they’re all much of a muchness.” Karen tried to rescue me.

“How was the film yesterday?” she asked the three of us, and I let the girls do the talking.

It got so involved, that we were late finishing lunch, so she ran us back to school in the car. I had planned on sneaking off home, however, now I couldn’t.

As we walked up the driveway to the school again, Karen suggested I went to the library and hid in there. I agreed, at least it was better than staying in the loo. She got Gemma to show me where it was, then they told me they’d collect me at home time.

I found a table in the corner, where I couldn’t be seen from the desk. I picked up a couple of books on history and sat myself down. I was quite enjoying myself, and learning something too.

During the second lesson, a few older girls came and went, some sat on the table next to me, they were laughing and joking and it distracted me. I heard the name Megan mentioned and my ears pricked up.

They were waiting for her apparently. My reading became very difficult and I turned over pages just to make it look as if I as reading. My curiosity was aroused.

Finally it was sated, when a statuesque girl arrived. She was very pretty but not as much as Karen, and she had smaller boobs too. So was this the Megan, Brian fancied.

“Hi, Meg,”

“Hi, Liz,” she said and sat down next to Liz.”

“So did he offer to buy the letter?” asked Liz.

“No, he tried to be clever and told me to publish and be damned.”

“Someone said that didn’t they?”

Duke of Wellington, I thought to myself. They could hardly expect Brian to be original now, could they?

“Does he know we know each other?”

“Don’t be daft, besides, it’s putting it on my web page that’s even funnier. I’ve already scanned it, so even if he gets it back, it’s too late!”

“You are like, so wicked, Liz,” commented Megan.

“Aw come on, it could hardly happen to a nicer guy, what an a-hole!”

“Yeah, I suppose so. Isn’t he the one with the gay little brother, looks like a girl?”

“Does he, I dunno.

I felt myself blushing, these two were real harpies. Brian deserved all he gets, but why are they dragging me into it.

“Yeah, calls himself Kylie, probably fixated on the Aussie dwarf.”

“Dwarf?” exclaimed Megan.

“Yeah, she’s only about five foot tall. So is he apparently, maybe that’s the connection.”

“So does he look like her?” asked Megan.

“Who?” asked Liz.

“The one who looks like Kylie Minogue, I mean does he look like her?”

“I dunno, never seen him or her, whichever it is.”

“Well Brian is good looking, with a nice body, six pack and so on. Bit small somewhere else, but I have no complaints.”

I was really blushing now. Imagine me, looking like Kylie Minogue! Hah! Okay we’re both blonde, and short and…oh hell! Nah, she is prettier than I am, I hope. Well Dr Who fell in love with her, so she can’t be all bad. I actually cried when she died at the end of the episode, it was at Christmas. Imagine kissing Dr Who….I reran that thought in my head. I had to get out of these clothes, they were softening my brain.

“How much did he offer to pay for it?”

“A tenner.”

“Is that all?”

“He said he’d have to borrow that from his little sister.”

I coughed and they both looked round at me. I coughed some more.

“You alright?” asked Megan.

I nodded but coughed again. She passed me some Polos and I took one and thanked her, passing them back. I sucked on the sweet and it helped my throat.

Megan said, “I think someone was trying to get into my locker.”

“Why?”

“Well the catch was undone, but the big padlock I have was untouched.”

“You probably just forgot to lock it.”

“Yeah, probably, or it’s faulty.”

So people seemed to have all sorts of odd ideas about me. How could they think I was a girl for god’s sake? I touched up my lip gloss. So Brian was screwed whatever he did, he’d need to find someone to take down Liz’s website. He was going to ask me for some more money, he can go and whistle. I fancy Dr Who! Aw come on! That was just my mind playing tricks on me, mind you he is rather nice is David Tennant.

The bell rang and the final lesson was beginning. My time in skirts had not been wasted. Then I had a sudden thought, no wonder the letter was missing, it was the wrong locker.

I checked on my phone, I didn’t have either Karen’s or Gemma’s number. Damn, there was no way I was going to do this again. Besides, it was a waste of time if she was posting it on the web.

Just before the end of the afternoon, Gemma came to get me. “Enjoyed yourself?”

“Yes, except I wasted my morning, you gave me the wrong locker.”

“I didn’t that was Karen. I don’t know any of that lot. Whose was it then?”

“Megan’s, they are both in it together.”

“Oh, let’s go and find Karen.”

We couldn’t find her but went off to the seats on the green again. I was now fairly comfortable in the skirt and tights, although it was breezier than trousers. Gemma and I chatted as we passed away the time until Karen arrived.

I told them both what I’d overheard, including the locker. She went a lovely shade of puce when she realised she’d got the wrong locker.

“Of course, it was Liz’s locker you wanted. Oh hell, I told you Megan’s, sorry.”

“It hardly matters anyway if she has a copy on her computer. Brian will have to find someone to take down her website and computer.”

“Can you do that?” asked Gemma incredulously.

“I can’t, but there are kids who can.”

“How disappointing, you struck me as one of those girls who can do anything,” she gave away the tease when the corners of her mouth went up.

“Yeah, including getting away with murder.”

“Why, who are you going to kill?” Karen asked, the blush now fading.

“Brian, very slowly and painfully, unless he tops himself after this letter goes on the net.”

“Why? It’s a bit drastic, isn’t it?”

“No, he’s asked for it many times. When he saw me yesterday, he took a photo on his phone in case he wanted to blackmail me again.”

“Oh, that isn’t very nice. I shall tell him to leave you alone, he shouldn’t bully his little sister.” Karen sounded quite cross, so I didn’t correct her.

“How am I going to get home?”

“My mother is, like, going to be there; what time does yours get home?”

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Ten past four.”

“About five o’clock.”

“If we dash back to our place and you cycle home, you should just make it.”

“What ride a bike in this lot?”

“Yeah, it’s a girl’s bike isn’t it?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So you should be able to ride it in a skirt.”

“You must be joking, I’m not riding home like this!”

“Oh well you’d better start running then, cause you’re not gonna make it otherwise.”

Karen was right. Why is she always right, well except about the lockers? We walked briskly back to the Smith’s house and I recovered my bike. Karen collected my other stuff and we tied it on the rack on the back, in a plastic bag.

“Why couldn’t I change?”

“Because it’s twenty to five, now go.”

It was going to be tight. I had to keep my speed down because the skirt blew up in the front if I went too fast. I tried standing on the pedals, but it still blew up and showed my knickers.

I got back and unlocked the garage door, I was just putting it on the stand when my mother drove into the drive and towards the garage.

“Who are you?” she asked.

I stood frozen to the spot.

“Kyle, is that you?”

I couldn’t move as she approached me.

“My god, it is you! How long has this been going on?” Before I could answer she grabbed my arm and led me into the house. “Sit there,” she pointed at a chair in the kitchen. I did as I was told. She put the kettle on and stood looking at me while it boiled. She shook her head a couple of times. I played with the hem of my skirt, which suddenly seemed to have got much shorter.

She poured two cups of tea and placed one in front of me and took the other herself. “Right, what do you call yourself when dressed like that?”

“Kylie,” I mumbled and looked at the table, my eyes filled with tears.

“Okay Kylie, perhaps you would like to explain why you are wearing a schoolgirl’s outfit when you go to a boy’s school.”

I spent the next hour trying not to tell lies but avoid the truth. However, my mother is an experienced teacher and interrogator. Several times she challenged me and then told me to tell the truth.

“So let me get this straight, Brian threatened that if you didn’t get this letter back for him?” I nodded. “He was going to say your friend was gay?” I nodded and tear ran down my face.

She paused for a moment. “Am I missing something here? If he says your friend is gay, does that mean you already are? Are you gay, Kyle? I mean Kylie.”

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Do you prefer boys or girls?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged again.

“Look I’m not trying to judge you, not on that anyway, if you are gay, it’s okay.”

I nodded but shrugged again, “I don’t know.”

“Okay, sweetie, do you like wearing those clothes?”

“They’re okay,” I shrugged.

“Do you feel like a girl?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to be a girl?”

“I don’t think so, why?”

“Oh, sweetheart, you just look so much like a girl, no wonder no one twigged you. Who did your makeup?”

“Karen.”

“And your hair?”

I nodded again.

“She’s done it really well, it looks really pretty.”

I felt the drops of salty water run down my face. I was trying so hard not to cry openly, but I was on the verge.

“Do you realise if you had been caught, it would have been a police affair and you’d have been charged with breaking and entering plus whatever else they decided to go for, indecency. Then Mrs Smith would have been very upset to know a boy shared a bed with one of her daughters. Kylie, you took such silly risks.”

That did it, the dam broke and I howled. She came and cuddled me and hugged me until I stopped. All I could say was, “I’m sorry, Mummy.”

“Okay, dry your tears,” she passed me a tissue. “You will stay like that until I deal with your brother. Where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well his stomach will bring him home soon enough.”

“Why can’t I go and change?”

“Because I want him to realise I know all about it. Besides, I want to see his face when he sees his ‘sister’ again. Can you sort your own makeup?”

“Can’t I just take it all off?”

“No, not just yet, I want to catch him on the back foot.”

I looked inside the backpack and Karen had put the mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss in there.

“Right off you go and repair your makeup, if you need help, just call me.”

I stood looking at the bathroom mirror, my eyes were a bit red and sore but I had managed to redraw the lines around them in reasonable fashion, and apply a couple of coats of mascara. It wasn’t brilliant, but I hadn’t poked myself in the eye or got it up my nose or on my eyebrows.

I walked nervously down the stairs, part of me wanted to see Brian get his just desserts and part of me wanted to simply run away and hide. The latter seemed a better option. Another part of me was simply afraid of what he’d do later.

I entered the kitchen and my mother looked up at me, “That’s better, young lady. Now, I think you can help me get the dinner.”

I’ve helped her loads of times, but it was never as friendly as this, she was somehow different. Then, I suppose I was too. I was busy laying the table when Brian walked in. He froze when he saw me.

“What the hell?”

“That’s a nice way to speak to your sister!” chided my mother.

“What? What sister?”

“I think you know perfectly well what I mean, you might not be as clever as she is, but you are by no means stupid.”

Brian drew a finger across his throat and pointed at me.

“I saw that, Brian, now please stop acting like a fool and sit down, we’re going to have the nice meal that Kylie has helped me prepare, then you are going to tell me exactly what is going on here.”

As she turned her back to me, I poked out my tongue at him.

“Kylie, that is rather childish, please desist immediately.” My face fell and Brian sniggered.

Amazingly we sat and ate as if there was nothing wrong, then I was invited to help clear away the mess while Brian sat and stewed at the table. Once the dishwasher was loaded and the kettle on, we cleared the other things from the table and finally sat down with cups of tea, awfully civilised, not–least while Brian was there.

“So please explain how when I drove in this evening, I found my younger child had just arrived home from school and was dressed and acting like a girl?”

“How do I know; he’s as queer as four pound note anyway, maybe it’s how he gets his kicks.”

“So you don’t happen to have a photo of Kylie, as she prefers to be called in this mode, on your phone?”

“Why?”

“I’m asking the questions Brian, may I see your phone.”

He blushed with some anger and not a little embarrassment as she found the incriminating picture.

“So you knew about this proclivity?”

“Yeah, well I wasn’t gonna tell you was I, unlike her, I don’t tell tales.”

“So why did you photograph her?”

“Dunno, for a laugh.”

“Not to blackmail her in the future?”

“Of course not.”

“Despite two other witnesses corroborating her story of ‘insurance for later on’?”

His face flushed with anger and his knuckles whitened.

“So why do you think she’s all dressed up like a St Trinian’s extra?”

“How do I know?”

“I think you know very well. I think you wanted her to break into someone’s locker to retrieve a letter you foolishly wrote them. Isn’t that the truth?”

“It might be,” he said looking at the table.

“You do realise that your sister could have been charged with breaking and entering plus anything else the police decided to throw at her?”

“No, I hadn’t thought of that.”

“And why were you threatening to spread ugly and untrue rumours about her badminton partner, as I believe you did once before.”

He fidgeted in his chair, she was heading for a home run, I think the Yanks call it.

“If I hear anything about you taking any form of revenge upon her or her friends, you will be in so much trouble you will be grounded for life–if I don’t involve the police. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” he muttered.

“I know your father will take a very dim view of this behaviour and as he’s the one who pays your allowance, I’d be very careful about how you speak to him next. Now, your sister actually did a better job than you thought, tell him, Kylie.”

“I couldn’t get the letter, it wasn’t in the locker. I was going to come home at lunch but Mrs Smith drove us back to the school, she thought I was on an exchange day with another school. Anyway, I went up to the library and overheard a conversation between Liz and Megan.”

I had his full attention for the first time since he’d swung me into the wall the day before. “Go on,” he urged me.

“They were setting you up, they’d copied the letter and Liz is going to post it on her website. She was going to sell you the original, but still post the copy.”

“What? The bitch! I’ll kill her.”

“If you do, I’ll have to testify against you and so will your sister, so please don’t make idle threats, it’s so common.”

He banged his palm on the table, “What can I do?”

“They said you were good looking for an arsehole.”

He ran his fingers through his hair and hit the table again. “Damn!”

“If I were you I have a chat with Jimmy Gonnersal, he could probably take her site down.”

“What? Your boyfriend’s brother? I don’t even know him.”

“No but I do, I’m sure he’d help if I explained to him, he can do almost anything with a computer. He hacked into the MOD last year.”

“Would you?”

“Why should she? All you do is bully her.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“Brian, your promises are worthless, but if I hear of you bullying her again, you will be very, very sorry, do you understand?”

“Yes, Mum.”

“You’ll have to like, pay him, but I’ll ask him tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Kyle.” He actually got my name right!

“It’s Kylie when she’s dressed like this,” corrected my mother, don’t you just love ’em?

“Okay, Kylie.”

“You,” she pointed at my brother, “up to your room and finish your homework. You’re grounded until I’ve spoken to your father.” Brian got up and went to his room.

“And you, Missy, seem way too comfortable like this, are you sure there is something you’re not telling me?”

I shrugged.

“You’re not transgendered are you? There was an article in The Independent about that last week; drat, the papers have gone now for recycling. Still let’s see if we can find it on the internet.”

She took my hand and we walked into the study to the computer. Something had changed between us and it wasn’t at all bad.

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Thanks to Gabi for express proofing. Any mistakes still here are mine.