Totally Insane 26–Confrontations.
by Angharad

By the time Philip came to collect me, I had changed into my tennis skirt and the frilly chicken bum knickers, my new frilly socks and my pink and white trainers. I’d also tied my hair into two bunches and redone my lip gloss.

Philip kissed me as we were about to leave my house, no one was looking so I kissed him back. We left and he had his hand on my bum as we walked across to his mother’s car.

“Hello, Kyle–ee, still playing at being a girl, then?”

“No, Mrs Gonnersal, we’re playing badminton, I am a girl.”

“A girl with something extra?”

“A girl with a plumbing problem, which can be put right.”

“Oh so you think having an operation is going to make you a girl, do you?”

“Muuuum,” protested Philip.

“What?”

“Leave Kylie alone, I think she’s a girl, so there.”

“I’m just trying to explain to her that there’s more to being a girl than lip gloss and frilly knickers.”

“I know that, Mrs Gonersall, Mummy has been teaching me how to cook and keep house, Auntie Em, has been showing me how to look after a baby.” And your Philip has been showing me how to kiss, I felt like adding.

“What have you been doing with a baby?” It sounded as though there was almost a horrified tone to her question.

“Bathing her, dressing her and changing her nappies, feeding her and burping her. Oh and we take her out in the pram, sometimes.”

“And your Auntie lets you do all that?”

“Yes, she watches in case I need help, but I’ve done it several times now.”

“And what can you cook?” she continued my interrogation as we drove out of my road.

“I’ve made roast lamb dinner, stew, a casserole, some dumplings–um, some cakes, an omelette and an apple pie.”

“What about housework?”

“I help Mummy do the washing and ironing, I’ve hoovered and dusted and cleaned the bathroom. I also mended Brian’s jeans when he split them.”

“And did you enjoy it?”

“Enjoy what, Mrs Gonnersall?”

“Doing the cooking and cleaning and mending?”

“I enjoy looking after baby Sarah, that’s great fun–she’s such a lovely baby. Then I like cooking and I suppose cleaning and laundry last–that’s hard work.”

“Satisfied?” Philip said curtly.

“Don’t get snotty with me, young man,” his mother snapped back.

“Well, you don’t ask my other friends how much housework they do?”

“None of your other friends are claiming to have a plumbing problem. Remember, I’ve known Kyle a lot longer than Kylie. I’m not sure I believe someone can be one sex one minute and another one the next.”

“So you don’t believe me, then?” I asked her.

“Let’s say, I’m impressed by your apparent girlish accomplishments, but as to your explanation? I’m not sure.”

“So how do you explain this?” I pointed to my appearance.

“So puberty hasn’t happened yet. When the hormones kick in and you start sprouting facial hair and a deep voice, not to mention spots, it’ll be much harder to look convincing. Put almost any pre-pubertal boy in a dress and he’ll look fairly girlish.”

“Muuuum,” protested Philip.

“How do you explain this?” I grabbed Philip as he got out of her car, and pulling him towards me, I planted my lips on his.

“Children, stop that at once,” she said trying to sound angry without raising her voice too much. “Philip, put that um–child down.” He continued snogging me instead. In the end she screamed off in the car and we giggled.

“You’ll be in trouble when you get home,” I said to Philip.

“So? I’m always in trouble. She thinks you’re a fairy, not a girl.” He blushed.

“What do you think?”

“You’re my girlfriend.”

“Not a fairy, then?”

“Geez, girl, what have I got to say to prove it? You’re my girlfriend, okay?”

“I like you a lot, Philip, but I’m not coming in the car with your mother again.”

“How are you going to get home then?”

“I’ll ask Mummy to come and get me, if she can’t, I’ll walk home.”

“Let’s go and play.”

“I don’t feel much like playing now.”

“She’s upset you hasn’t she?”

“No, “ I lied shaking my head, but the tears I’d been fighting to hold back climbed over the dam and began to leak out of my eyes.

He hugged me, “I’ll give her hell when she comes back. Come on in and play a couple of games, it’ll take your mind off things.”

I shook my head, “I’d better go.”

“Please, Kylie, come and play a few games with me.”

“I don’t know if I can,” I sniffed.

“Here,” he handed me a tissue and his bottle of Powerade. I wiped my nose, dabbed my eyes and took a swallow of his drink. He hugged me some more. “She is soooo gonna pay for upsetting you.”

“No, Philip, she won’t let me see you again if you get too snotty with her.”

“She’d better, if she knows what’s good for her.”

“She’s your mother, Philip…”

“So? She’s being a total bitch over this.”

“You shouldn’t call your mother things like that.”

“Hang on a minute, I was looking after my girlfriend–now she’s protecting the woman who was attacking her. Where’s the logic in that?”

“It’s a girl thing,” I said and the look of confusion on his face made me giggle. He shrugged then hugged me.

“Come and play a few games, turn your anger into aggression on the badminton court.”

“I don’t know if I can, Philip.”

“Just pretend you’re playing against her.”

“I don’t think that’ll work.” I felt myself growing small and depressed.

“Why not? It always does for me.”

“Dunno, I suppose ‘cos part of me understands what she’s saying.”

“Oh, I understand what she’s saying, all right, but I happen to disagree with it. So she can call you all the names in the book–it won’t stop me seeing you as Kylie, my girlfriend.”

“You are so sweet, Philip.”

“Yeah, I know.” He gave me a silly smile and pulled me into the sports centre.

“I don’t know if I can play tonight.”

“Well I can’t play without you, so I might as well scratch.”

“What happens if you do that?”

“We’ll lose points and position.”

“We?”

“Yeah, we’re in a league.”

“Since when?”

“Since the competition.”

“What you entered us in a league without telling me?”

“I did tell you, the day those boys jumped us down near the shops, I told you then, remember?”

“Philip Gonnersall, you did not tell me.” I was standing with my hands on my hips.

“Kylie Mosse, I did,” he said, his voice raised.

“Excuse me, but are you two going to play badminton or stand out here squabbling?”

I felt like saying, ‘What’s it to you, mister?’ Instead I looked blankly at him.

Philip looked at his watch and said, “Sh…ugar, look at the time, c’mon, Kylie, we’ve gotta get on court in two minutes.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me into the sports hall, where our opponents were limbering up.

I took off my jacket and while Philip sat down and removed his trackie bottoms, I did some stretching exercises. Then it was two minutes knock up before we started.

I thought I was never going to be able to play tonight, and in the beginning I played like I had four legs not two arms and legs. Philip kept saying, pretend it’s my mother, but that made me want to cry or laugh depending upon how he said it.

Suddenly, I began to think of the game in terms of standing my ground against her, and I felt my whole body change. I had more energy, I know I was standing taller and I was hitting the shuttlecock much harder. On one occasion, I ran backwards and jumped to smash a shot that only just cleared the net, but went so fast, it flew between our opponents.

“Wow, Kylie, that was brill,” he said and pecked me on the cheek. My game went to pieces for a few points, I think I was thinking more about the kiss than the badminton, then I got it together again and we won it quite easily.

“I need to phone Mummy,” I said picking up my backpack.

“If she can’t get here, I’ll walk you home.”

“Thanks,” I gave him a peck on his cheek. I speed dialled home, of course Brian answered it.

“Oh it’s you, what d’you want? I’m watching the film.”

“Is Mummy there?”

“No, why?”

“ Duh! ’Cos I wanted to speak to her.”

“She’s in talking with Emma, across the road.”

“Oh, okay.” I ended the call and rang Auntie Em. “Hi, Auntie Emma, it’s Kylie, is Mummy there? Thanks.” I waited while my mother took the phone.

“Kylie, is everything alright?” there was a hint of anxiety in her voice.

“Could you come and get me from Badminton?”

“I thought Philip’s mum was doing that?”

“Um no.”

“Has something happened?”

I felt tears building up, “No,” I sniffed.

“He hasn’t done anything to you has he?” Anxiety had turned to anger.

“No, ‘course not,” I sniffed again.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Stay by the main entrance, and don’t let that boy touch you.”

“He hasn’t done anything,” I said to an empty phone as she was on her way.

“Who hasn’t done anything?” asked Philip suspiciously.

“I don’t know what she thought,” I said and tears flowed again. “Why do these things happen to me, Philip?”

“Dunno, ‘cos people are stupid and don’t like anyone different?”

He held me as I wept on his shoulder. Some woman came out from the Sports Centre and asked if I was okay. Philip waved her away, “It’s her period,” he hissed at her and I snorted on his shirt.

“I’ve got some pills,” said the woman.

“Her mum’s coming to get her, she’ll be here in a minute.”

“Okay, I’ve got some pills inside if you change your mind.”

“Thank you,” I sniffed.

“Here’s your mum,” he said as a car drew up, then running footsteps.

“What’s happened?” she demanded.

“It’s okay,” I said and went to walk towards the car.

“Philip?” said my mother in an accusing way.

“It’s not me, it’s my mum.”

“Your mother?” asked my mother in a tone tinged with scepticism.

“Yeah, she says Kylie’s a boy.”

“And she said that to Kylie?”

“Not in so many words, but yeah.”

“Oh did she now? I think I’d better have a little word with Mrs Gonnersall,” my mother said through gritted teeth.

“It’s okay if I keep seeing her though, isn’t it?” I heard Philip ask.

“I don’t know yet, Philip,” she responded.

“But I want to keep Philip as my friend,” I said anxiously, the tears stimulated by the thought of losing him.

“Let’s see what happens after I’ve spoken to Mrs Gonnersall, shall we?” My stomach flipped over. My mother was normally quiet and easy going, but when she was teaching or representing/protecting her kids, she was a regular lioness–an articulate one. Philip’s mum could get quite a savaging.

I felt sick, and had to rush into the toilets chucking up in the bowl before someone said to me, “Excuse me, young lady, this is the boy’s toilet.” I chucked up some more and they walked away.

Philip found me and guided me out of the gents and into the hallway. “What were you doing in there?” he hissed at me.

“It was closer than the ladies,” I said, tears still streaming down my face. My mother had parked her car and was waiting for me.

“Are you alright, Kylie?”

I wasn’t sure if I was or not, so I shrugged. She walked to me and hugged me. I burst into tears in the safety of her arms. I heard Philip say, “look out here’s trouble,” which I presumed meant his mother had arrived. Mummy escorted me to our car and I got in.

“Wait here, sweetheart, I‘m just going to have a little chat with Mrs Gonnersall.” I felt sick again.

To my surprise, Philip got in the car with me. “Can I come and live with you?” he said winking at me. “They’re talking in our car, so I said I’d come and sit with you.” He put his arm around me. “Why were you sick?”

“Dunno,” I said weakly, “nerves I s’pose.”

“Nerves? Someone who can do what you’ve done, feels nervous?” He sounded astonished.

“Yes, you should try wearing these frilly knickers and a skirt, it makes me feel vulnerable.”

“Really?”

“No, I was just trying to avoid the issue. I don’t like confrontation, did you see the look on Mummy’s face. If they come to blows, she won’t be taking any prisoners.”

“Would that make me an orphan?” he asked facetiously.

“You’ve still got a dad, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, but he’s like, boring. Your dad sounds much more fun.”

“Does he? He can be boring too, all ‘rents can–it’s part of their commitment to their children.”

“What to be boring?”

“Yeah, ‘cos like, if they weren’t, none of us would ever like, leave home.”

He looked at me, then he smiled, then he sniggered and then he roared with laughter. “An’ I thought, wrapping my sandwiches in maps was just trying to give me broader view of the world. They obviously want me to leave home–can’t your parents adopt me?”

The windows of our car were steaming up and we couldn’t see the two mothers talking. It had looked quite animated, lots of waving arms and things. I leant on Philip’s shoulder, and found myself drifting off to sleep. A wave of exhaustion swept over me like one of those tidal wave thingies they have after an earthquake.

I realised Philip had his arm around me as I fell asleep, but after that I didn’t know anything until my mother’s voice said, “Wake up, Kylie, and let Philip have his arm back.”

“Uh, wha…” I struggled to wake, I was so comfortable. Then I opened my eyes and they were all stuck together by the lashes. I yawned and struggled to keep my eyes open. “Kylie, Mrs Gonnersall wants to say something to you.”

I shivered expecting her to say I wouldn’t be able to see Philip again. However, politeness meant I had to listen. I struggled out of the car helped by Philip, whom I loved more than ever. Mummy marched me over to Mrs Gonnersall’s car. I didn’t get in; she wound down the window and said, “I’ve had a long chat with your mum, Kylie, and she’s cleared up several areas of my ignorance. I can only apologise for what I said earlier. I now realise you are a girl.”

“May I continue seeing Philip?” I asked.

“That’s not for me to decide,” she said and my heart sank, “Philip is quite a wilful young man, so you’d better ask him. I have no objections, as long as you don’t give me a display like you did earlier. That was rather blatant.”

I blushed and gazed at the floor, did you know how interesting tarmac can be. “Um–I’m like, sorry about that, Mrs Gonnersall, I was like, making a point.”

“So I understood. But if you want me to respect your new gender, you have to respect my feelings, too.”

“I will, Mrs Gonnersall.”

“Good girl, would you send Philip back to me. I suspect I’m going to have to talk my way out of this.”

I nodded and smiled, then went to get Philip who was standing by our car. “What did she say?”

“She said she couldn’t give me permission to see you.”

“The bitch!” he spat and I had to grab him before he said something he’d regret.

“She said you had to decide.”

“I had to decide what?”

“If you would let me see you again?”

“You what?”

I repeated myself.

He looked at me, and hugged me, “What do you think?”

“How would I know, I’m only a dumb girl.”

“Yeah, I s’pose you are,” he said before I slapped him.

Thanks to Gabi for express editing: any mistakes remaining, blame that darn cat!