Totally Insane.
by Angharad

“That is, like, totally insane,” I said when Brian made his proposal, “Like I’m gonna do that, like I’m totally crazy?”

“Look, little bruv, if you don’t I am, like, cat food.”

“Why can’t you get Karen’s sister to do it?”

“She wouldn’t be able to get into the lockers.”

“Why me?” I asked almost rhetorically, I knew why.

“’Cos you’re the best, little bruv,” he said slapping me on the shoulder.

“How come, I’m like, only the best when you, like, want something?”

“Okay, so I want something, don’t you ever want things?”

“Yeah, course I do,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Well if I don’t get that letter back, I won’t be able to help you the next time you want something, will I?”

I was tempted to say, ‘You never do anyway,’ because he didn’t but he was in potential disaster territory this time. It’s strange because, usually it’s big brothers who help younger siblings, in our family that seems upside down.

Brian is sixteen and in love with Megan, the problem is he was in love with Liz last week and wrote her a letter to prove it. Liz has threatened to show the letter to Megan.

Karen is his friend’s girlfriend and is like a sister to him, her sister Gemma is the same age as me, eleven, well nearly twelve–okay so it’s eleven months away.

My name is Kyle and I hate it. It’s an American name, and I’m a dyed in the wool Brit. That isn’t why I hate it, it’s because everyone calls me Kylie, like the Aussie singer. I’m shortish, okay five feet tall, that’s a hundred and fifty two point four centimetres. It sounds a lot until you consider nearly everyone else is ten centimetres taller, and that includes the girls.

So I have a thing about my height, so what? I compensate. I tried to be aggressive until I found that only got me a few hidings. So I got sneaky, I use my brain, which is an anagram of Brian and as close as he gets to having any of the ol’ grey matter.

I can’t outfight him, ‘cos he’s loads bigger than me, but I can out think him and frequently do. He’s impulsive, I’d like to be but I’ve become so much stronger by controlling my urges, that it’s almost a habit. He blows his money, I save mine, he borrows from me, but he pays interest.

I’m better academically than him, or shall we say I’m cleverer. He wants me to go into the girl’s school and break into a locker and retrieve his incriminating letter. I can do it no problem, one of my hobbies is playing with locks, in other words picking them. In our road, if anyone gets locked out they don’t send for a locksmith, they send for me. I enjoy the challenge. Also if anyone is throwing away a lock, they tend to give them to me.

“Come on, Kylie, say you’ll do it?”

“Up yours, I told you if you call me that once more….”

“What, you’ll cry your little girl eyes out?”

“No you big ape, I’ll scratch yours out.”

“Spoken like a true girly, now are you gonna do it or shall I spread some nasty rumours about you and let’s see, Philip Gonorrhoea.”

“His name is Gonnersal, and that’s like, so unnecessary, we only play badminton together.” I blushed, I wasn’t very masculine but Phil was, we play doubles and he tends to play back court and I play on the net, ‘cos I’m smaller.

“So if you have nothing to hide, why are you blushing?”

“I am not,” I said stamping my foot, very macho! Then I felt my eyes fill with water.

“Oh, doesn’t he know you have a crush on him?”

“I don’t, he’s just a friend, alright.”

“Yes, your boyfriend.”

“No! I’m not gay!” I protested and the tears started to flow.

“Oh poor little Kylie, don’t cry, baby, you’ll ruin your makeup.”

I gave him the finger, “Get your own letter back.” I turned to leave when he grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me round, pushing me hard into the wall of the garage.

“Look here, girly boy, if you don’t get that letter back, I shall destroy your friend and his reputation by the end of the week. Remember what happened to Danny.”

I gulped, Dan was my then best friend, and we did everything together. Brian wanted to borrow some money and I wouldn’t loan it to him. He told everyone Dan and I were lovers. Dan got beaten up, he has no elder brother, and his mother removed him from school citing me as a bad influence.

Kids haven’t forgotten, I sit on my own to change for gym or games and I shower at home. Most of the boys call me Kylie and it hurts. I’m not gay, I’m just not very butch.

“So, you gonna do it for me, or do I get your little mate?”

I swore under my breath at him.

“What, is that a yes or a no?”

“Alright, I’ll do it. How am I supposed to get into the school?”

“That’s your problem, but if Megan sees that note, you’re dead meat and so is your little friend.” He kissed me on the top of the head and I was so tempted to swing my hand hard into his groin, but I knew he’d kill me.

How was I going to get into the school? I’d been there once, to a dance with Gemma, her escort went down with rabies or something the night before, so she asked me to go. It was okay, I suppose, except they kept asking her if she was babysitting and had to bring me along.

I called Gemma. She’s pretty quick on the uptake, and when I explained the situation to her she told me to come over. I got my bike out, yeah another point of contention. My dad bought me a really nice one, cost him four or five hundred quid. I left it outside a shop and it went walkies. I was only in there two minutes.

Because I hadn’t locked it, the insurance wouldn’t pay, so I had to buy one myself. Of course Brian said he knew someone who was selling a good bike for fifty quid, so I gave him the money. It’s a good one, a mountain bike, a Trek, but it’s a girl’s one and is pink and silver. He thought it was hilarious, so did my dad, who told me I had to use it for at least a year before he’d consider buying me another. I suppose it does the job, except it hardly enhances my credibility. Brian calls it my, ‘Barbie bike’, my response is unprintable.

Ten sweaty minutes later, I arrived at Gemma’s and she offered me a cold drink. It went down really well, ice cold Coke, except it then gave me a silly pain in the belly cum chest.

“You didn’t have to drink it all so fast,” she said shaking her head as I tried to stifle a burp in front of Karen.

“Hi, Kylie,” she said and I blushed and burped at the same time. “You need to teach your girlfriend some table manners, Gem,” she said laughing. Karen was so gorgeous, I didn’t mind her teasing me. She’s natural blonde with lovely long hair and a figure to die for, with the face of an angel above that wonderful chest. Gemma is going to be just as beautiful, so maybe I should be grateful for small mercies, that I am allowed in the presence of these two lovelies.

I went to make a retort to Karen, when it was overridden by another, longer burp, I went so red, I must have looked and sounded like a sonic tomato. Both girls fell about laughing. My eyes were watering, but with the gastric games my body was playing, and maybe just a little embarrassment thrown in for good measure.

“So what are you doing over here?” asked Karen.

“He’s on a rescue mission,” offered Gemma.

“To rescue what?”

“Brian, who else?”

“What’s he done this time?”

“He wrote note to Liz declaring his undying love, then went out with Megan. Liz is pretty pissed with him and is threatening to show the note to Megan.”

“Doesn’t he ever learn?” asked Karen, “I mean, I got the last one back for him.”

“Yeah, I know, you couldn’t like, help again, could you?” I asked hoping my luck was about to improve.

“Uh uhhh, no way, sorry, Kylie, but no can do.” She looked at me, “Sorry, kiddo, not this time.”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Okay, I hope you didn’t mind me asking?”

“Not at all sweety-pie, where is it any way?”

“In her locker.”

“So you’re just gonna walk in, break into her locker and take it?”

“Yeah, sort of, it needs a bit of refining,” I added as she started to laugh.

“The only males in our school are the teachers and occasional workman. I don’t honestly think you could impersonate either of those, Kylie.”

“Look, I only need about two minutes to get into the locker.”

“I think she has a key and a padlock on hers.” Karen smiled wrily.

“What?” I said, “It’s double locked?”

“I think so.”

“Shoot, that means I’ll need another minute.”

“It’s one of those big heavy Chubb padlocks, because she sometimes keeps her photographic stuff in her locker.”

“Aw hell, why couldn’t he go out with someone else?”

“Can you pick those?” asked Gemma.

“Yeah, but it takes longer.”

“How much longer?”

“I dunno till I see it.”

“How long have we got?”

“Till Friday. Megan’s away until then.”

“Do you know it’s even in there?”

“Not for sure but, I think she hinted to him. If it was in her bag, he could have got it himself, but in her locker he can’t.”

“She could have it at home.”

“Nah, too saucy for that, in case her mum saw it.”

“So that leaves school.”

“That’s what he thinks.”

“Doesn’t he have any consideration for his little sister, sending you on these suicide missions?”

“I’m not his sister.”

“No, of course you’re not, but if you got your hair cut it would help.”

“When Jimmy Page gets his cut, so will I.”

“You still like Led Zeppelin, they’re old enough to be your father. With hair like that are you sure Jimmy Page isn’t your dad?”

“I wish,” I said dreamily.

“So how do you propose to get into the school?”

“Like sneak in and sneak out.”

“Past the security cameras.”

“They didn’t have those when I went to the dance.”

“They do now, I don’t think they can see the lockers, but the ins and outs, they do.”

“Plus even if you were to disguise yourself as a boy–I mean a girl––” she winked at the deliberate slip and I blushed whilst they both sniggered, “they’ll see you getting in and out. In is no problem, but out, you’d be stopped before you got to the gate unless it was at lunchtime or end of day.”

“Oh damn,” I said and sat down dejectedly.

“I think you’d make a kewl-looking girl,” smiled Gemma.

“No problem, it’s looking like a boy that difficult for her,” Karen teased.

“Gee thanks!”

“We get you in during the morning, you hide in the loo, do the deed and leave at lunchtime.”

“As a schoolgirl?”

“No a troll, so no one will notice, duh!” said Karen.

“What wearing a school uniform? A skirt?” I said my voice squeaking with emotion.

“Duh! No a Father Christmas outfit! What do you expect in a girl’s school?”

“But what if someone sees me?”

“They will see you, Kylie, that’s the whole plan, because once you escape, they’ll be looking for a girl - not a boy.”

“Where will I change?”

“Back here or your own house.”

“I can’t go home in a skirt!” I nearly exploded with shame.

“Why not, we do it?”

“Everyday,” added Gemma.

“Hi, Kylie,” called an adult voice.

“Hi, Mrs Smith,” I called back to the girl’s mother.

“Are you staying for lunch?”

I looked questioningly at the girls, Karen nodded and Gemma yelled back, “yes.”

“Ten minutes then, girls.”

“I’m not a girl.” I muttered under my breath.

“With a name like Kylie and long blonde hair, sure you’re not?”

“My name is Kyle.”

“Nah, that’s an American name, no one uses it here, but they do Kylie.”

“Karen–“ I began, she smirked and I threw up my hands, “why do I bother?”

“Exactly, so we have ten minutes to make you presentable, up to my room now.” She yanked me by the arm and sent Gemma off for something to her own room.

In her room, which was quite girly for a sixteen year old, all lace curtains and pictures of pop groups, she sat me in front of her dressing table and began to comb my hair.

“What ya doin’?” I asked moving me head away from the brush.

“Hold still or I’ll thump you.” Karen is always so ladylike.

I did sit still and began to enjoy this teen goddess playing with my locks. I was so out of it, feeling the blood engorging a tiny part in my trousers, I didn’t notice the snipping sound until she cut me a fringe across my face.

“What are you doing?”

“Tidying it up.”

“But you just cut a load off.”

“Relax, I’m sure Jimmy Page won’t mind if he sees you while he’s collecting his pension. Unless he fancies you.”

“What!” I gasped.

“See, makes quite a lot of difference.” I gazed into the mirror, she’d turned my proto rock star look into a schoolgirl.

“Oh my god, I’m dead.” I had to go to school tomorrow and the next day and the next.

“Don’t worry just tie it back in a ponytail.”

“I never wear it in a ponytail.”

“Well you should, Kylie, it really suits you.”

Gemma tore into the room with a bundle of clothes, “Looks nice, Kylie.”

“I am not wearing those––”

“How nice to see you in a skirt for a change, Kylie, you look really nice.”

I mumbled some thanks to Mrs Smith as I sat at the table and started to nibble at my salad. The girls hid their sniggers, although in my hypersensitive state, I could hear flies mating in next door’s garden.

How could my day off school have gone so wrong. The whole town had a school holiday as all the teachers went to a training day for SATS or some other thing. Until I ran into Brian, I was quite contented, now look at me!

“Can we have some money Mum?” asked Karen.

“What for?”

“To go and see a film.”

“I suppose so, is Kylie going with you?”

Before I could say no, Gemma said, “Yes, course, we’re going to see a chick flick.”

“Help me wash up and I’ll run you into town.”

“Yeah!” said Gemma, raising her hands. I just blushed.

By the time Gemma and her mother had cleared up the kitchen, Karen had dragged me back upstairs and painted my face and nails, squirted some smelly stuff all over me and shoved my Crocs back on my feet, the only original piece of clothing I had on. Okay, they are yellow, it was the only colour they had left in my size, apart from pink, so what did you expect me to do?

Karen shoved my keys and money into a small backpack and handed it to me. “Better get used to carrying one of these, you’ll need it for your safe breaking kit and lip gloss.”

“How come this doesn’t happen to James Bond?”

“He doesn’t have a brother called Brian,” said Karen and we both laughed.

My blood pressure was on gasket blowing levels as the two girls walked me through the streets of town towards the multiplex. We saw loads of kids and at one point had a group of boys follow us to the cinema.

“Who’s your friend, Gemma?” asked one, a certain George Carstairs, a boy in the year above me.

“She’s out of your class,” snapped Karen, trying to deter him.

“Maybe she’d like to come and sit with us for ‘Ironman’?” asked George.

“She wouldn’t, so naff off.”

“Why doesn’t she answer for herself?” he said running around and standing directly in front of me. “Eh, darlin’?”

“No thanks, I’m okay with my friends,” I said, hoping my voice sounded female enough.

“Bloody lezzies, I ’spect,” said a voice from behind me which I was pretty sure belonged to Patrick Swain.

“Well if you’re the pick of the boys, it may be only feasible option,” Karen threw back and I nearly wet myself, I was so nervous and laughing was not a good thing to do.

At the cinema, we all trooped to the loo and I sat and stared at the door while I weed, wondering how I had been railroaded into this situation. If I was caught now, I’d be in serious bother. I consoled myself with thinking how Brian was going to pay, probably with his life, some horrible poison. I began to feel better.

The film was okay, I suppose apart from the bit where we all cried and I smudged my eyes. Karen had to sort my makeup out when we left. Then the girls marched me into a branch of Claire’s and I came out with pierced ears, I was so shocked I didn’t even protest.

On the way home, seated on the back seat of the bus, the two girls plotted some more.

“What do you need to get in the locker?”

“Why?”

“Just tell us.”

“My little tool kit.”

“Does Brian know it?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Karen started to text, “Where is it?” she asked, then continued after I told her it was in my bedroom.

A few minutes later, her phone beeped. She read it and nodded, “Brian is going to bring it over later.”

“Why can’t I bring it with me tomorrow?”

“How are you going to disguise yourself tomorrow?”

“Erm, pass,” I said and looked at the floor of the bus.

“So if you stayed over tonight, we can sort you out tomorrow morning.”

“What!”

“Yeah, here call your mother and say you’re staying with us.”

“What!”

“Just do it.” Karen was quite forceful when she wanted.

I complied and handed her back the phone. I told her some yarn about borrowing some books at Gemma’s to research for some coursework in history. She swallowed it.

What I was going to do tomorrow about missing my own school and coping with hiding in the girl’s one, was causing my tummy to knot. Oh boy, I’m going to enjoy killing Brian.

After supper, Gemma and I were playing a computer game when Brian arrived with my kit, a series of small screwdrivers and lock-picks I’d made or accumulated over the last couple of years.

He nearly didn’t recognise me when he came in but once he did, he laughed cruelly at me. “Hey, you look good, little sister,” he said sniggering.

I just thought, ‘Where can I get hold of some strychnine ?’

He caught me unawares when he snapped me with his camera phone, “Never know when I might need insurance,” he said.

Damn! He’d started to think for himself, this was doubly worrying.

Gemma lent me a nightdress, and Brian had brought my toothbrush, I’ll bet he didn’t think of it though. Then it was off to bed and I was sharing with Gemma. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.

“You make such a pretty girl, Kylie, have you ever thought maybe…..”

“I’d like to be one, no way. This is just a means to an end.”

“It’s a shame, because you could stay more often if you were.”

“Tempting as the invitation might be, I don’t think so. I’m a boy, remember, I do boy things.

“Like badminton?”

“Yeah, like badminton.”

“Is it true that Phil is going to enter you two in the mixed doubles?”

“What? Don’t be daft, he can’t we’re both boys.”

“It was just a rumour I’d heard, apparently he thinks you might have a better chance than against the boys.”

“What, that’s crap!”

“Like I said, it’s just a rumour.”

“But I play as well as anyone else,” I said sniffing.

“Don’t cry, Kylie, I’m sure it’s just malicious gossip.”

I felt the tears run down my face, I’m sure Philip wouldn’t do that to me. Would he?

“Are you looking forward to tomorrow?”

“Are you crazy, I think I know how a suicide bomber feels, very alone.”

“But we’ll be with you,” she said and I could almost hear the smile in her voice.

“Yeah, but it won’t be your reputation on the line.”

“If you get caught, we’ll be in it too.”

“No, I won’t talk.”

“My name tapes are in the clothes you’ll be wearing.”

“Oh! I still won’t talk or let them search me.” I had visions of men with rubber gloves pulling them on up to their shoulders and I felt myself shudder.

“I think you make a really sweet girl and so does Karen.”

Gee whiz! Thanks I don’t think. “Look, before you try to get me accepted by the netball team, I’m a boy, okay, got that?”

“How did you know we’re short for the netball side?”

“Oh jeez, I didn’t.”

“Are you psychic?”

“Don’t be daft, if I was, I’d have run a mile before Brian found me.”

“Oh yeah,” she giggled and so did I, I mean it was so farcical. Like a Carry On film, only somehow, this got scripted for real. Oh poo!

Somehow we managed to get to sleep, but even so I awoke feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, something which was reflected in my enthusiasm for leaving my bed. It took both Karen and Gemma to drag me from my duvet bunker, and shove me into the shower.

“Why have I got to wear a bra?” I protested, already feeling emasculated in the pink panties.

“Because you’ll look a bit flat-chested otherwise,” said Karen rolling her eyes.

I wriggled and Karen said, “Hold still, girl,” as she stuffed two foam inserts into the bra. She stood back to appraise the effect, “Yes, that looks okay.”

I glanced at myself in the mirror and shuddered, even with my straggly wet hair, I’d lost myself to this girl who was using my body. It felt sad and exciting at the same time.

“Oh wow!” exclaimed Gemma as she saw me in her underwear. “You look really kewl,” she smiled and handed me a blouse which I hurriedly tried to don to hide my semi-nakedness.

Of course the buttons were on the wrong side and I fumbled.

“Come on, girl, we need to hurry,” urged Karen as she took over the buttoning.

I was about to protest about the form of address, but in the circumstances thought I might be overruled.

I stepped into the skirt and it was zipped and buttoned around my waist. It was navy as were the tights they offered me. I’ll bet the shoes don’t fit, I thought to myself. But I was wrong.

“Look after these, they’re my best ones,” said Gemma with emphasis. I promised to guard them with my life. Let’s face it, if I was caught, it would be over anyway.

My tummy knotted again as the butterflies inside it practised macramé or tatting. I felt quite sick.

After the tie was put around my neck, I did protest, “Look, I can tie a tie, I wear one every day, okay?”

“Nah,” said Gemma, “we girls wear ‘em differently.” She then tied the most appalling knot I have ever seen.

“Hasn’t anyone ever taught you how to tie a tie properly?” I stood on the little dignity still in my possession.

“Look, Kylie, we haven’t got time to argue, I need to do your makeup, so sit down.”

“Makeup? But we’re going to school?”

“Yeah, so?” Karen dismissed me and began putting some dark brown eyeliner around my eyes, then finished with mascara. “Here, you do the lip gloss.” So saying she shoved the instrument of embarrassment into my hand.

“I can’t, can I?”

“If you can pick locks, I’m sure you can run a bit of that on your lips.” She stood over me while I had a go. It wasn’t the best I could do, how did I know that? She made me wipe it off and do it again, twice. Third time lucky. She gave me a beautiful smile and I felt like I’d been inducted into some secret society. “See, I knew you could do it, remember to do it again after brekkies.”

“I don’t feel very hungry,” I said rubbing my temperamental tum.

“You gotta eat or Mummy will smell a rat,” Gemma suggested.

“As I don’t go to your school normally, won’t she anyway?”

“It’ll be cool, don’t worry.”

Karen blow dried my hair and brushed it, she’d rubbed mousse or gel in it and it looked even more girly than yesterday. The ear studs glinted in the light. Just how was I going to reverse all this when I got home.

I draped the cardi around my shoulders, girl fashion and followed them downstairs.

“Are you looking forward to this day with my two?” Mrs Smith asked pleasantly.

“Oh yes, it’ll be a change from my school.” I answered, without emphasising how big a change.

“I think these exchange days are a good idea, don’t you?”

“I’m sure they are, Mrs Smith.”

“Well eat up then, Kylie, you’ll need the energy to get through the morning, I like your hair by the way, you should wear it like that more often, frames your face really well, shows off your cheekbones.”

“Thank you, Karen helped me.”

“Yes, she’s good with hair.”

The best bit about breakfast was, it was eaten at the Smith’s house. Mr was away on business, he’s consultant in something or other. My dad is a pharmacist and looks after a chain of shops for a national company, so he’s away quite a lot too. My mother is a teacher at the local primary school. At least that meant I could nip in lunch time and change and scuttle back to school for the afternoon. Brian was supposed to take in a forged note saying I had a dental appointment. He threatened to tell them I was off with, a heavy period. I’m gonna have to kill him, I wonder if Daddy will help me?

’Daddy!, where the hell did that come from, I haven’t called him that since I was about five. Must be these stupid clothes.”

“Redo your lip gloss,” whispered Gemma as we finished breakfast.

“What? Oh, oh yeah,” I said when she pulled out hers plus the little mirror. I hope I didn’t make too big a mess of it, maybe I didn’t because Karen smiled and nodded.

“We’ll make a girl of you yet, Kylie.” She whispered.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I winced back, now I had wind. I held my hand over the griping pain.

“You alright?” asked Mrs Smith.

“Yeah, she’s just come on,” sniggered Karen.

“Well it’s hardly funny is it?” said her mother with some annoyance.

“Do you want something for it, Kylie?”

“I’ll be alright, Mrs Smith, it does this sometimes. It’ll be alright when I move about a bit.”

She popped back into the kitchen and gave me two paracetamol tablets, “Here take these with you, in case you need them.”

Rather than argue, I took them and put them in the bag Gemma had shoved towards me. I’d forgotten it already. It felt quite heavy with my tools in it.

Mrs S, dropped us at the school gates, which meant we still had a hundred yards to walk. I was dreading this.

Karen moved on but I noticed her keeping a wary eye on me. I walked with Gemma and we got loads of attention from her friends, who all wanted to know who I was.

We’d agreed I was having a trial day to see if I liked it, because we were moving to the area, from Bournemouth — my grandparents lived there, near Boscombe.

After actually getting into the building, I excused myself and went into the girl’s toilets and after putting the seat cover down, sat on it, keeping my feet from view. The door was obviously shut, but so were most of them.

This was going to be a long three hours, a very long one. I checked my mobile, Karen was going to be walking past the corridor a bit later, she’d call by to check on me.

I sat and listened to my tummy rumble. Tummy? What sort of a word is that? Whatever it was, it was the source of some noise, which sounded deafening to me.

I sat there, holding onto my knees as my alimentary system gurgled and bubbled, finally enabling me to burp. That felt a little easier.

For something to do, I checked my lip gloss, easy-peasy. I wish I didn’t look such a fox, it was unnatural. I’m a boy, a rather small one with at this moment, an even smaller proof of it than usual. Fear does that, like cold water, shrivels everything up.

I ran through my plan. I’d seen the locker and the locks, I could do them, I was sure of that. I’d even sneaked out and picked the locker one, so that was one down.

When I got back to the loo, I really did need to go and it just poured out of me. I think I passed my tonsils at one point. Nerves I suppose, cor and did it pong.I cleaned myself up and sat back in my ‘cell’. I was waiting for the bell to go again announcing the last lesson. Then I was going to wait five minutes and finish the job.

I was so engrossed in trying to relax, when there was a double knock at the door. I jumped and fell off the seat, dropping my bag. I felt icy cold.

“Kylie, are you okay?” Hissed a voice, it was Karen.

I opened the cubicle door. “Yeah, apart from the squits.”

“Are you sure, you’re okay? Oh, what’s that smell?”

“Erm,” I shrugged.

“Goodness, it smells like something died in there.”

“Hopefully it will keep others away.”

“Yeah, I suppose so. Anyway, two more bells and we’re out of here. I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah, thanks, Karen.”

“S’okay, every girl needs a big sister.”

“Can I swap Brian for you?”

“I don’t think Gemma would like it. He’s not too bad really.”

“You don’t live with him,” I sighed.

“No, thank goodness. I’ve got to go.” She disappeared and I went back to my perch, redid my lip gloss, at least my hands had stopped shaking now, and waited for the bell.

I didn’t have my watch with me, so I watched the time on my mobile.

The bell went. I waited for five minutes. I got out the tools I’d need and held them in my hand as I approached the locker. My heart absolutely pounded in my ears as my shaking hands grappled with the big Chubb lock. They are good, but so am I and finally it popped open.

I stuck it on top of the locker. Pulled at the door, it was still shut. Shit! She must have come and used the locker since I did the catch. No matter, except my hands were shaking so much. Damn, I still had pink nail varnish on. I hadn’t noticed that before. Damn, Karen!

I fumbled with the lock, it took me longer than before, but it opened. I searched in amongst the stuff in there, makeup, books, even a camera lens and sanitary towels, but no letter.

Shit! I checked through it again. It wasn’t there, holy shit! Where could it be? I heard footsteps, quietly closed the locker and shoved the Chubb back on it, then scuttled back to my cubicle.

I perched back on the loo seat and texted Brian. ‘Opnd lckr, snot thr. K.’

A few minutes later, I got a reply. ‘It mst b, lk agen, OR ELSE! B.’

I felt even sicker now. I’d kept my part of the bargain, it wasn’t fair, he wasn’t fair. Why didn’t he believe me. I’m beginning to hate boys, especially big hairy ones like Brian.

“So what do I do now?” I asked myself as I waited for the bell and the two girls.

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Thanks to Gabi for help in the proofing, any mistakes still here are mine.
A.aG.