Sweet Dreams-61

*Before…

I see a camera flash and I see one of the school paper people I think and they’re taking pictures of me and Katherine and Jenn and Cindy and Alex and I look at him when he turns my way a gain and do a little friendly hand wave and he snaps a picture and I do a few funny faces for him too which he seems to like.

He turns his attention to the others and I stop to watch Alex.

Yeah as much as he’s not into football he is too and he’s good at it, it’s just not all of what he’s about.

But yeah I love the way he looks doing this stuff even…especially when he’s doing that wet hair thing when his helmet comes off.

And when they take a ten minute break for the stuff for the next string or whatever he comes up and he sits with me and I pass him a bottle of water and we kiss some.

And then we sit and talk and he’s looking at my notes…and that’s kind of as a couple cool.

*And Now…

It’s actually despite the whole uppity squad being there a good afternoon as Alex and I hang out and he’s as into things here with the whole ideas for the school as I am and then well there’s the kissing.

The kissing is awesome really since one it’s kissing and honestly the longer Alex and I are together the better this actually is getting and I do think since the operation I’m feeling things differently too.

The hormones are starting to kick in and I think my senses and stuff is adapting to the whole OHMIGOD Yay we’re finally getting what works for us! Kind of thing…heh...heh.

And then there’s the ones up there in the stands that have guys on the team but they’re not on the cheer squads.

See they’re here for the pictures and to be seen and stuff like always but the whole election thing is on and they’re sort of posing and looking cool while they’re choking with a whole lot of envy and jealousy that their guys are still all over at the football area and they’re drinking water and Gatorade and doing that cooling down break thing while Alex is doing his with me.

And I have notes so it looks like I’m doing stuff and well we’re kissing which has couple factor and the only ones doing better and getting the very exclusive and really into it picture taking from the school’s photog guy is Jenn and Cindy who are in their uniforms and they were doing practice too and they’re all exercise hot and stuff and they’re doing this whole drinking water and sharing the bottle and this whole kissing thing.

Two lesbian cheerleaders in uniform kissing each other.

Heck this is still Detroit and it’s still really the good part of Detroit so they either might get in trouble or get on the actual news.

They’re my friends so I don’t mind and it’s really eating up the showed up to just showed up and be pretty crowd.

Katherine looks decidedly non-plussed.

Aawww Muffin.

Okay you know you’re having a good afternoon when the snerk in your head makes you laugh out loud.

Alex looks at me with that look like he gives me when I’m being weird.

Yes I get that look fairly often too.

I lean over on him and actually point at Katherine who has a crony sort of notice and point it out and I say in his ear. “I was noticing how ultra pissed off she looks at Jenn and Cindy and then there’s the fact she has to choke on her nasty comments because she’ll look lesbophobic.”

I don’t even get to the punchline before he does that Alex dry humor-sarcasm thing and says. “Aawww muffin.”

I crack.

Totally burst out laughing and say. “Holy shit that was exactly what I was thinking!”

The assistant football coach yells at me. “Williams stop swearing!”

“Yes sir!” I look at Alex and he kisses me again and he literally lifts me up in his arms and off the ground as he has to get up and head back to practice and there is this little zip of really good feelings that does.

Guys don’t get picked up, I’ve never been lifted and I don’t care if it seems overly girly it was fun and it was exciting too because he’s that strong and yet the way he’s treating me is really, really nice.

And yeah again tha hormones because as we’re doing this I’m touching him and while there’s pads on and stuff in other places there’s not and Alex is solid…like body builder solid and that is all under my hands and it’s hot and just.

God I am so very, very alexsexual.

I watch and I write some more because I do really want to do some of these things and I jot down notes as they come to me and still keep an eye on the game and when the plays get interesting I actually set my stuff aside and I get closer and I cheer them on.

“Go Alex!”

“Run Tim, Run beat the feet guy!”

“Great throw honey!”

“Good tackle Austin!”

I mix it up too because we’re a team and Alex is on that team and I’m with Alex so I’m trying to be Alex’s girlfriend and there for his teammates too.

I’m literally the only non-cheerleader that’s dating a player to bother.

Y’know I certainly hope that it pisses some of them off as much as it’s pissing me off that some of these girls are just dating them for their player status.

Okay, okay I also get that there’s some of those guys that are dating them for the same reason and that they’re hot and that they’re likely getting sex too.

But to me and it really might be my perspective but the numbers are a bit off.

The guys as far as I can tell are looking good this season. But honestly I like only have a rough "getting it" of football. And even more honestly that’s because I’m with Alex because I’m that skinny nerdy girl that is sarcastic about sports because of how absolutely ridiculously paid people are in sports.

I’m much more into the fact that Alex is an artist.

Ooooh…there’s an idea.

I’m going to get Alex to put up some of his art in support of the arts department.

And maybe see if the other guys can do other stuff too.

I walk with Alex to the locker room area and wait outside and I actually take his stuff too like his book bag and his jacket so all he really has to do is take his gear with him and change into his normal clothes after he showers.

He kisses me at the door while he hands me his things and I slide into his varsity jacket and it hangs down past my things and I kiss him back. “Hey you want to do something art like for this whole thing?”

He looks at me and he raises an eyebrow. “Okay…you have something in mind?”

I look at him and smile. “We could put up some of your stuff in the halls and we could have something saying arts classes are important to all students. You know kind of shake off some of that just a jock thing.”

He looks at me with a happy surprised look. Okay it’s Alex so he’s not like beaming it’s more subtle than that but it’s still there.

“I could do that; I’ve never actually thought of that or seen it done here either?”

I nod grinning. “You could ask some of the guys too, if we have a bunch of things we could throw some varsity support maybe behind some of the arts and academic classes here that get less attention.”

He kisses me and this one’s a lot deeper and longer and he’s touching me making me ache but not ache and my nipples are getting hard which is actually sort of Owmazing and we do that until we’re coughed apart by the faculty and he heads into the locker room and I set his bag on the floor and I use it as a seat and slide down the wall and sink into his jacket and just sort of girl-buzz on it.

Oh no seriously this is his leather varsity jacket so there’s this whole his scent deeply ingrained into it and it’s from sweat and from his soap as he’s been in this fresh from showers and deodorant and his cologne and it’s all sank into this and into the leather and it’s just actually perfectly blended and muted by the smell of the leather and there’s so definitely his pheromones and stuff too because like I said I’m all girl buzzing over it and I swear I can feel it winding its way around my brain.

And it’s making me get or stay turned on and more than that it’s making me happy.

Well me having him happy about the art stuff is making me happy too, happy and Alex are still new friends so anytime I can actually sort of do stuff like this I feel really awesome.

Because it’s like if I can actually do this for him then as broken and patched up as I am then maybe there’s some hope for me like beyond being broken.

I actually am soaking into it and then I feel something…besides the ache down there and it takes me a few moments to get that I’m getting wet. Like excited wet and that’s still a really new thing for me.

I get up and I take my things and Alex’s things and I go to the girl’s locker room and I slip inside and say before coming around the corner and into view. “Hey! It’s Hunter can I come in?”

I get a bunch of sures and okays and I head inside and there’s the whole cheer squad doing their cleaning up and stuff and it’s all kind of well…stunning but not. I mean it’s other girls and stuff but they’re all super good looking and their toned and built and I feel like such a stick as a girl compared to them and at the same time all my other stuff from my past is still sort of there so looking is kind of second nature too in a way.

It’s hard not to be oh wow.

And it’s hard not to be a little jealous too.

Though I’ve been around now to see the serious practice they do and stuff and it’s really athletic and I’m not. I’m in like zero shape though I’m trying and I’m as about as coordinated as Will-e-Coyote really.

Like seriously some of the stuff in my life should just come with a laugh track.

Jenn looks over at me. “What’s up?”

I blush. “Anyone got a thin pad of something like that?”

Rachel one of the cheer girls looks at me and winces. “Starting you flow?”

I shake my head no. “Uhm…nope the good kind of dampening.”

There’s some laughs and some Ooooohs and Cindy passes me one from her bag and I undress enough to get it sorted and I’m being watched like intently watched. I look up and Rachel’s staring at me.

I’m looking at them all. “Okay what?”

Rachel says. “What the hell happened, where did you get all those scars?”

There’s some nods to that and I’m actually relieved in a big way that my new gear or well newly discovered gear passed inspection.

I get dressed again and look at her and the other girls. “Really bad childhood.”

They look like they don’t get it and Jenn and Cindy come over and hug me because they know.

A couple of the girls ask. “What happened?”

Amy Cho says quickly. “But if you don’t want to talk about it you don’t have to.”

I shrug. “No one’s life’s all good or perfect so yeah why not?”

I take a breath and I start to tell them what my life is like, was like and okay yeah I leave out the was a guy and the intersexed stuff but sort of say that the only reason that Cliff didn’t sexually abuse me was either he was too drunk or too high for it to get hard or he couldn’t do it the normal way and he thought that butt-sex was too close to being gay.

It kind of goes on for a bit and there’s some “No effing ways” to some of the really horrific shit and I actually show them some of the burn scars and belt scars and then there was my fave that effing thing where… “I was little and he was high and he told me a Christmas decoration was a candy and he put one in my mouth and he told me to bite.”

“That part of the whole nosebleed thing I had too the other doc’s they took me too weren’t likely docs and they missed some of it and there was stuff still lodged there and doing damage.”

They girls look horrified…and they should I’m still horrified by what happened to me.

“And I’m still messed up by it. I so have PTSD issues and I have all this negative stuff in my head that keeps talking and telling me all the things that they always told me.”

I’m wiping away tears too.

(Sniffle.) “Dammit and I was having such a good day with all of this Alex getting me all you know…”

I’m getting hugs and I hug them back and I know there’s some stories in some of these girls, I can see my stuff setting off the stuff in behind their eyes too.

We all have something.

Some more than others but we all have something.

I look at the girls. “You know with all of the shit that I’ve been through if any of you all ever need to talk to someone that’s soooo not going to like judge you and stuff you can call me.”

I take out my note pad and tear off a sheet and write down my number and my e-mail address. “That’s my e-mail and I have chat so it’s all private too no Facebook and stuff.”

I leave it on one of the benches and I get my bags and Alex’s and sling them over my shoulder with an oomph and a stagger.

Yeah I’m that light or rather Alex’s books and things are that heavy but I grin at the girls once I’m stable. Then I grab a double handful of his jacket and I bring it to my face and inhale as I go I’m saying. “Yeaaaaah that’s better.”

And honestly it is, well not totally better but the sort of goofing and yeah actually that Alex scent does help.

He smells nothing like my past and all of that stuff that happened and I’m huffing his scent all the way back to the guys locker room and Alex is outside of it talking with some of the guys on the team and he’s givin me this Hunter’s doing something weird again as he’s seeing me come around the corner in a big inhale of his jacket.

The corner of his mouth twitches in that almost smile of him finding something funny and then he gives me they eyebrow.

“I had a girl issue that required me to not be here for a few minutes.”

He nods and he has this flicker of wait a minute come across his face as he realizes that I can’t have that certain issue and some of the guys look like they were thinking that same thing and they have that look like ‘oh my god no please don’t let her talk about her period.’ And I’m grinning and I keep smelling his jacket in hopefully what is a cute way and walk towards him until we’re together and he hugs me and holds me there.

He looks down. “Okay, okay what are you doing Hunter?”

“Playing with my brain chemistry and your pheromones.”

He looks actually pleasantly surprised with that almost oh really expression and the guys are looking at me and Jack says. “Oh hell I have to get me a smart girlfriend. Dammit Hunter I don’t know why but that was kinda hot.”

I nod and grin a little past the jacket. “Jackets are safe you’re guys’s football pads and stuff are so not. The funk is way too much for me and I’d likely kack. (Kack is a word for hurl or vom in this school.) No the jacket he wears like with all the good guy smelling stuff and him and leather it’s actually kind of amazing.”

The guys are actually looking at me and I smile and lean/fall back against Alex and look up at him. “You ready Freddie?”

He has that smile that’s almost there and he nods. “Yeah let’s go we’ll be late for work.”

He asks. “You want me to carry all that?’

“Nope, the car’s not far and you ran and trained like crazy and stuff besides this is actually kind of fun.”

We’re leaving and I hear a few whispers of “Lucky bastard.’

Well that could be me technically maybe but I get what they mean.

And y’know when someone says something like that when people all your life have told you you’re trash it really feels nice.

Not go to my head nice but there this whole sort of eff-u energy that it has that I can aim at the negative stuff.

We get to the car and put our things in and I keep the jacket on and Alex just sort of looks and shrugs and he drives us to work and I keep it on too because the yummy turned on feelings are starting to rebuild themselves after the whole thing in the girls locker room.

He looks at me again as we’re coming into the building. “Are you going to keep that on all day?”

I look at him with that trying to be cute peeking over the edges of it things and say. “I was serious about the smell and brain thing and if you want to have sex tonight you’ll let me keep the jacket for my shift.”

He has that look, that look that he gets when sex is a definite thing…and Alex has been really good about waiting and going without and not being an asshole about it or freaking out that he’s not getting any and he’s never cheated and never strayed either which is all really cool.

he walks over and he kisses me really deeply and he moves the jacket aside a little and his hands come up to my shirt and he sort of uses his knuckles to graze over my breasts and bra and my nipples pop and go so very, very hard and he stops and his hands go lower trailing down my shirt over my skin and my stomach and over my groin and down past…?

Past?

Alex takes the zipper of the jacket and he does it up and zips me all the way up as far as it would go and I’m teased in my body and inside too…I mean that was actually funny. And I’m laughing because it’s just awesome.

“I take it that’s a yes then?”

He gives me another kiss and then he walks to the Café where he has to work and I watch him go and it’s such a nice sight.

And the kissing and The jacket thing and I’m actually happy again and I actually skip a little on my way to work and hopefully I can dish about Alex and me over a cuppa with the boss.