Chapter VIII - The National Representative

So Sunday we were having a visitor from the national headquarters of Gamma Delta Phi. She was coming here to specifically watch me in everything I do. Well, she was in for a big surprise, because I was not going to do anything different than what I have been doing. Why would I? Dr. McClellan said that she could write a report that would make me a full sister, now. But that wouldn't be fair to the other pledges. All week long, I was just going about my chores and my studies, and then it was Sunday. On Sunday I went to chapel for a bit, and when I came back, the lady from national was there.

Kendra, Lily, and Lydia were talking to her, when I came in the door.

"Jean," Lydia said, "This is Becky Simons from our sorority's national headquarters. She is here to watch you, in everything you do. Her report will tell national either they were right in telling us to go ahead and let you pledge, or she will tell national they made a big mistake. We have been telling Becky what we saw, and she has seen the reports from your shadows, and the other girls. She is impressed so far. It is what you do from now until she leaves, that will go on her report. Do you understand why she is here, Jean?"

"Yes I do, Lydia. And it is nice to meet you Becky. The first thing I need to do, is change out of my dress. I wear this for Sundays when I go to chapel."

"You go to chapel, Jean?" Becky asked. Becky was my height, and she was dressed in jeans and a tee, with white runners.

"Yes I do, Becky." I looked at the floor, because it made me sad that I wasn't accepted in a regular church.

"What's the matter, Jean? You sound and look very down."

"It's just sad that the so-called Christians can't find it in their hearts to let me worship in the same church as they do. That's why I go to the campus chapel."

I saw her write something in the notebook she carried with her. Then she asked me what else I did on Sunday, and I told her that I usually just went to my room, and studied until dinner was ready. Even though we made things for ourselves, we had the communal dinner in the dining room. This was started by the founding sisters of Gamma Delta Phi, because it was considered a social gathering.

"Well Jean, may I go up with you, and just visit, while you study?"

"Of course, Becky. I like to bounce things off of Lily when she is in the room. I'm taking psych courses, because I want to be either a psychologist, or a psychotherapist. I haven't decided which one, yet. But I will before graduation tho."

"Why would you want to be a psychologist, or even a psychotherapist?"

"Because I want to help others like me, so they can get the needed confidence to be themselves, without shame. There are too many transgendered that are still in the closet. They have to have someone in an official capacity to help them through their transitions. I hope to be one of those professional persons."

"That is a very noble attitude, and one very becoming of a true Gamma Delta. I can see that by the way you carry yourself, and the way you talk, that you are feminine, at least inside. That is a good thing though. When we are the person inside, then we project that persona on the outside too. So far, I have seen a very decent woman, with a very determined attitude to succeed. Are you ready to go up to your room?"

"Yes, Becky."

We went up to my room, and I sat down on my wooden table chair. I sat with my back straight, and my arms close to my side, instead of way out like a guy would do. She wrote something in her notebook, and she sat on the edge of my bed.

"It's all right if I sit here, isn't it, Jean?"

I turned around with a very fluid motion, and told her it was all right. Then I went back to turning on my computer. When it came up, I opened my sociology book, to the chapter we were discussing. I started to review what Professor James had said about being patient with an impatient client. Professor James was your typical balding, older professor who was trying to be younger than his years showed. I think he was trying too hard though, because some of the guys in class were talking about him, like he was just another piece of trash. But he was alright though, and he knew quite a bit about handling clients on the social worker level. I had two sociology classes and two psychology classes, each one discussing the different aspects of each profession. When you are a psychologist, you have the benefit of both psychology and sociology, with the major being psychology.

As I did my studying, she was writing things in her notebook. I discussed a few things from my books, that I needed to get a different perspective for, and she was impressed that I went into my studies so thoroughly. After a few hours of studying, and I finally had my thesis printing, I stretched a little, and then covered my mouth when I yawned. She was also impressed by this.

"You seem tired, Jean. Is this the end of your study period?"

"Well kinda, for now anyway. That was just one subject. I have a minor report to hand in on the other class, but I usually do that a little later on. Right now, I just go for a walk, to limber up from sitting so long. Then I come back right around dinner time, and then after dinner, I do the studying for the other class. That pretty much takes care of my Sunday."

"I heard you have a fiancá¨. Do you ever have any study periods with him?"

"Not really, even though that would be nice. Then I could use him for a faux client."

"What is his name?"

"His name is Paul, and he is in the weight lifting club. I have known Paul since we were ten years old."

"Well that's a plus, I must say."

"Paul takes me to movies, out to dinner now and then, we have gone to the zoo, for drives in the country. He has taken me bowling, and we just go for walks so we can be with each other and talk."

"Does he ever try to take advantage of you, when the two of you are alone?"

"Oh no, Becky. I wouldn't allow that, and if he tried, I would end our relationship, and our friendship. Like I said, we have been friends since we were ten years old. Paul isn't only my fiancá¨, he is my best friend too."

"I can see you are a woman who is proud of herself, and her best friend. That's a good attitude. I have a best friend too, and she always calls me. I had to tell her I wanted a rain check for today, because I had to come here and evaluate a pledge. She understood, and I came here."

Just then, Paul was let in by Lily. He came over to me, and gave me a big kiss, and I responded in kind. I introduced Paul to Becky, and he shook her hand.

"Jean, I just came by to see if you wanted to see a movie at the Grand."

"I'd love to, Paul. Just let me get ready."

"No hurry, I'll just wait right here."

I went upstairs with Becky, to get ready to go out with Paul. I looked in my closet, and took out my powder blue, knee length dress. I went in my dresser, and took out a complete set of under things, and took out my powder blue pumps with the two inch heels. I took out a package of stay up thigh high stockings. Then I got undressed except for my under things, and put my robe and slippers on. I took off my makeup, and went to take a nice bubble bath. Becky went with me, and didn't even bat an eye as I got completely undressed, and got in the tub. I sat there sponging the water all over me, and then I slid down in the water, to get my hair wet. I sat back up, and then took the lavender shampoo, and washed my hair. All the while, Becky was writing things in her notebook. As I finished my bubble bath, I pulled the plug, and rinsed off with the shower head. While I was rinsing off, I put a little conditioner in my hair, even though my shampoo had conditioner in it.

I stepped out of the tub, after rinsing my hair completely, and patted myself down. Becky wrote something in her notebook. I then put my robe on, and stepped into my slippers, and went to get dressed. After I had my slip on, I sat down to put my makeup on. Becky wrote something in her notebook. After my makeup was on, I stepped into my dress, and asked Becky if she would zip me up. She did, and then wrote something in her notebook. I used my hair dryer, and made sure my hair was dry, then I put it in a neat, high pony tail. Becky wrote something in her notebook. I then put my nylons on, and stepped into my pumps. After looking at myself in the full length mirror, I was ready for my date with Paul. I went downstairs, and did a twirl for Paul's inspection. He stood up, and whistled that wolf whistle of his. I could feel the heat in my face, that told me I was blushing.

He offered his arm, and we left for the student parking lot. Because Becky was supposed to be evaluating how feminine I am, she came along with. She would be sitting a few rows behind us, so she could watch me. We parked a block away from the Grand theater, and walked to the ticket booth. He paid for all of our tickets, and we all went in. He bought a box of Jujubes and two small sodas. Becky didn't want anything.

The movie was Hook and I sat transfixed to the screen, because I had always liked Peter Pan. I laid my head on Paul's shoulder, and I knew that Becky was writing in her notebook. When the movie was over, and the lights came on, I had to blink my eyes a couple of times, to get used to the light. Paul and I walked hand in hand back to his car. Becky sat in the back, and Paul and I sat in the front. After making sure everyone had their seat belts on, Paul started the car, and we left to go for a leisurely country drive. Paul and I carried on a conversation about how I was doing at the sorority, and he looked kind of saddened when I told him a few of the girls were giving me the silent treatment. Becky wrote something in her notebook, and then asked Paul why he looked saddened.

"Because Becky, Jean is a very nice woman. She always has been female inside. When we were kids, she never wanted to do anything that was considered male. She just couldn't act like a boy then, because there has never been any boy in her. Now that she is grown up, she is a very fine woman, and for other women to give her the silent treatment, is unfair to Jean. Becky, Jean tries her best to make friends, and she succeeds for the most part. But there are always those die hards that have to be convinced that someone is serious about being a friend. In Jean's case, they are wrong for not talking to her about their concerns."

She wrote something in her notebook, then she took a very serious tone. "Paul, Jean, rest assured that I am going to get to the bottom of this. We never give anyone the silent treatment, even to a pledge. Jean, we allowed you to pledge Gamma Delta Phi, not because your mother is a past president, and alumni, but because this is the twenty-first century, and we need to put our past prejudices of society aside. We accepted you because our credo says we should help those that need help. You needed our help to have one of your dreams come true. From what I have seen here today, not only will you make a fine addition to our sisterhood, but you are going to make a very fine woman as well. It looks like the reports I have seen from others, are all true. When we get back to the house, I have a surprise for you."

Paul parked the car in his parking space, and we all went inside the house. I looked around, and thought it was funny that there was no one sitting in the front room. The doors to the study were closed. I went over and opened them, and I got the shock of my life. Everybody was there, and they yelled "SURPRISE!" I was nearly knocked off of my feet. Then Kendra, Lily, and Lydia came over, and escorted me to a chair in the middle of the room. Lydia, surrounded by the entire sorority, stood in front of me.

"Pledge Jean McMillan, it is with great privilege that by unanimous support, agreement, and consent of the sisterhood of Gamma Delta Phi, I present you with this pin. Welcome sister Jean McMillan to Gamma Delta Phi."

I cleared my throat. My pledge wasn't up for another week. Why were they giving me my pin now? Becky cleared that up.

"Miss McMillan, you are no longer a pledge. You are a full sister in the Gamma Delta Phi sisterhood. You now have an international network of resources you can call on, if need be. There are many chapters of Gamma Delta Phi throughout the U.S., Canada, Australia, as well as France, Luxembourg, Poland, Germany, and Italy. You have proven beyond a shadow of any doubt that you are a true sister, and a lady. Again, welcome Miss McMillan to the Gamma Delta Phi sisterhood."

I started crying because of this. I was very happy that everybody had consented to my being made a full sister. But then, something crept up in the back of my head.

"What about the other pledges? It isn't fair to them, if I am made a full sister, and they're not."

Just then both of them came up to me,and showed me their pins. We hugged so tightly I thought I was going to pass out. I looked at the pin that was in the shape of a breast cancer ribbon and had three letters shaped like an upside down "L", a triangle, and an "O" with an "I" through the middle. I was told that the "O" with the "I" through the middle symbolized that we are an all female society, dedicated to the welfare of others. I was a lady by unanimous consent of the sorority, as well as in attitude. My mother came out of the crowd, and gave me a big hug, and said the female side of the family is now complete. She also said that when Paul and I finally adopt a girl, she too will follow the females of the family and be pledged to Gamma Delta Phi.

"Mother! You mean this was already all decided. Even before today?"

"Yes dear. Becky needed to evaluate you, to make sure that our decision was the right one. Becky, will you please give us your report?"

"Yes Mrs. McMillan, thank you. There are many sisters here that have been giving the tribunal reports about our pledges. But because one of them has a birth defect, we were watching her just a tad more than the others. After shadowing this young lady around all day, today, I have come to the conclusion that Miss Jean McMillan will not only be a wonderful addition to our sorority, but that she will make a very decent woman too. So it is with great pleasure that I will report to our national headquarters that we made the right decision. As I said Miss McMillan, welcome to the Gamma Delta Phi sisterhood."

Everyone applauded, and there were "speech, speech" comments from the sisters, so I just said a few words. "Thank you all. Everybody has been so kind, and so..." I trailed off as the tears just came pouring out. Becky just had to take this another notch.

"If there is any doubt that Miss McMillan is a woman, just look at her. She is modest, and she cries when she is happy. In my humble opinion, Miss Jean McMillan will be a wonderful sister, and who knows, may even be elected president of this chapter. You have my vote Jean, if I could vote, but I have my fingers crossed for you. You will be eligible to run for president in your junior year. Now enough of this, there are refreshments in the dining room. Let's mill around and welcome our three new sisters into the Gamma Delta Phi sisterhood."

We all went to the dining room, where there were cakes, pies, cookies, punch, lunch meats, potato chips, corn curls, cheese curls, and in the middle of the table was a box of Jujubes with my name on them. I looked closer, and it said, "to Jean, from Paul." I picked the box up, and Paul came over, and gently took it from my hands. I looked up at him, and he was smiling as he opened the box.

"Jean, please close your eyes." I did. Then I felt something being placed around my neck. "All right, Jean, you may open your eyes, now."

I opened my eyes, and felt around my neck. It was a necklace. I went to the living room, and looked in the mirror. I saw the most wonderful ruby necklace I had ever seen. I ran up to Paul, and gave him a real bear hug.

"Thank you, darling. Thank you so much."

Then he took me in his arms and kissed me on my lips. I just sank into his arms, and let him kiss me. I didn't care if the others were looking, I just melted into Paul's embrace, and let him take me away in to the clouds above. I was so into being held by Paul's strong arms, when I heard a distant voice. It kept getting closer and closer, and seemed to be calling my name. Then the voice became very clear, as I heard my mother calling to me.

"Jean dear, that was the delight of a young girl showing her appreciation for being given something nice. But we don't want to over do it, now do we?"

I giggled as I said, "no mother."

Paul and I mingled through the house with the other sisters. Then someone put the stereo on, and the girls began dancing in the middle of the living room. Paul led me out, and took me in his strong arms, and led me around the living room. Oh my gosh! He is so romantic. I put my head on his chest, and just followed him through the dance. When the song was over, Paul took me over to one of the settees, and had me sit down, while he went to get us a cup of punch.

I accepted the punch with a smile, and thanked him for getting it. I could not believe what just happened. I was pledged to my mother's house, I made a lot of friends here. I did my job as was required of a pledge, and now a few weeks later, I am a full sister. I have some very important heels to fill, because if I disgraced myself here, I would also be disgracing mother. I am now officially a Gamma Delta Phi sister, and I am in transition to complete my goal of being physically female. I am engaged to be married to my best friend since childhood, and I am by consent of the whole sorority, as well as attitude, a lady. Oh my gosh, what more could a girl ask for?