Sweet Dreams …36 The first cut is the Deepest.

Chapter 36

*Jennifer…………..

I wake feeling that wonderful spacey feeling that I get from having afterglow and really great sex. The lights are still on and I’m cuddled up…I’m cuddled up naked with my best friend Cindy who I just had sex with.

I smell the scent of her sweat which I’ve sort of always known. I smell her favorite powder and deodorant, her perfume…all so much different. I smell her skin…and its slips into my brain in this funny little way that it never has before and it makes me smile…god I honestly don’t know why it’s making me smile but it is.

I mean I’ve always “Said.” that I was bisexual. I’ve kissed a girl a time or two and some quite a bit when we were all learning how to kiss at camp. But it was mostly me talking and bullshit. I never daydreamed about girl on girl or me doing stuff like that. It’s never bugged me and I’ll even admit that it can look damned fine two girls together but it was never….this.

My head is resting on the naked breast of my best friend.

That I had sex with, that I…me…I…made love to.

Oh…

Oh Cindy….Oh fuck my heart…

She has been my best friend since we were like eleven and twelve…five years we’ve been best friends and she’s always been there to rein me in and trying to keep me from being my own worst enemy. She was the shoulder I’ve always had to cry on and closer than a sister really.

She has been in love with me since we were really just doing that learning how to kiss at cheer camp and when I was going through my hormonal stuff and falling in love with the thought of boys…she was falling in love with me.

Me?

And as much as this scares the shit out of me, it’s something that’s the most powerful and loving thing that I have ever had…

I think “Miracle” is the right word really…

Cindy loves me. Someone actually loves me. And not this teen bullshit I love you love…no! She is this drop dead gorgeous blonde bombshell with a body that would make any guy drool over and every lesbian. Cindy has had lots of chances to be with guys and way more than likely the same for girls.

But she loved me…and she saved herself for me.

Me.

And she gave herself to me.

And then there was the thing that she did with my stuffies…my only friends when I was little, the only things that loved me unconditionally and didn’t use me in some tug of war, or hold me hostage or yell at me and hate me.

I wipe my eyes carefully to get rid of the new tears careful not to wake her. My hand smells like pussy and for the first time in my life it’s not mine. I know there’s this simple goofy smile on my face as that registers and I sort of just lay there feeling her breathe, breathing her smell in and staring at her other breast…really up close and getting to star at it and kind of taking in the beauty of it.

Sort of letting my newfound lesbian appreciation settle it self in. and I let myself daydream about back in camp. When we were first kissing and closing my eyes and trying to remember and getting these sort of different memories of the whole time…like the first times were okay and stuff and clumsy but as the summer passed she got very, very good at kissing because she was kissing me for real.

I can sort of remember widened eyes…and poky nipples.

And it wasn’t the usual tweeny sort of pokey nipplage stuff. Guys get wood and teen girls might get wet and turned on but it takes us a bit more sometimes but breasts…as soon as they’re not aching from growing in then their already aching from stimulation…I’ve gotten nipple-stiffly from a good strong breeze.

Cindy was definitely in that oh my god I’m a little tweeny lezzy zone…

As cool as it is too finally key in on some of the moments we’ve had that completely blew past me.

God....that just had to be so freaky and scary as hell and really had to suck. So how much hell have I put her through by watching and waiting by the side for me to just somehow notice her?

To love her back?

That’s it I’ve got to move…to make up for the time that I’ve lost between us. I lift myself up like a push up and I move up over her face and…

I kiss her eyelids.

“I love you.” I say to her, not whispered I just come out with it and tell her.

Her eyes snap open and they focus in on me and when they do they soften into that…this look that.

“I have wanted someone to look at me Cindy like that all of my life….thank you…thank you …oh thank god for you.”

I kiss her deeply and I almost sort of full body slink-slide into the kiss as I don’t hold anything back.

I can’t…I can’t because she’s my best friend in the entire world and I’m falling headlong and madly in love with her.

We kiss and kiss and kiss and Cindy’s hands come up to hold my breasts and lift them…then touch me…the tippy pads of her fingertips just whispering under the curve of my breasts…I…I mini-cum…I…it…I never felt anyone touch my titties…like that so delicate so knowing and I got so wet…so fast it felt like..like I came a little?

Even possible?

Aaaahh…Cindy’s fingers find their way to my nipples and they touch me in that save sweet sexual grace I’ve never had…only around my aureloa…tiny little multiple stroking touches over the nipple tip sending jolts.

Then cups them and takes my nipples between her thumb ad forefinger in each hand and…and…gently…tugs…gently, gently over ad over kind of like she milking…me…no…no…god…she jerking my titties off…off…

I can’t help it I break the kiss to close my eyes and tilt my head back and have the very first orgasm from someone making love to my breasts in my life…

I have a second right after that as they are so…sensitive from the attention and she replaces her fingers and thumb with soft lips and a eager hot wet mouth. It is just so hot and so wet that when she touched them suckle kissed them.

“Aaaaahh…Cindeeee…”

By the time I open my eyes that look it there again…still…always… I kiss her again…and hold her hands pinned to the bed.

“No…please…let me…”

I try and return the favor, try to show her the same gentle love she’s teaching me. It’s the most amazing thing the way I swear I get these shadow feelings of what I’m doing to her…because I know them so well myself.

I…

I love the sounds she makes.

The Mmmm’s.
The breathy gasps.
The Uh--oooh’s.
The deeper unnn’s.
The Jeni, Jeni, Jen, Jen, Jen’s.

I love that I’m making her say these things…Alex, some of the other guys where semi-vocal…but this is more…so much more and…..The way my girl looks when she’s cumming…the ways she flushes then blooms.

Dammit Hunter…dammit I get it now.

Ow…my heart.

I slowly make my way down to her pussy and smell and nuzzle and I even like the way my nose grazing over things makes her giggle and squirm and laugh. No one I’ve even been with ever laughed really in bed.

Funny how big a thing that seems to be right now.

Taste…

Well she tastes like pussy, not like mine…yes I’ve tried what I taste like…but different yet the same too. There’s this complex taste about her, so different then a guys taste…she has this taste that to me is some kind of mixture…almond milk…citrus but what?…honey…but not the table kind but like a hint of this darker more feral stuff like buckwheat honey…not bitter but the hint of musky sweet? Salt…and something else that even guys have the human essence factor like that Asian fifth taste thing…that can’t literally put a word to it except….

More…

I get her opened up and try different things, different touches…the trick to really eating pussy seems to one use your fingers…get in there and two eat her like dessert. I’m getting a lot of sex mileage out of licking and slipping my tongue into places that are kind of served by the way you’d use your tongue to lick at the corners of your mouth.

I get into this really, really effective place with the first two fingers of each hand slipped into her and sort of rubbing the sides of her clitty as I suckle on it and also rubbing at the mounding tissues on either side in a double finger pad massage.

She writhes and she bucks, rolls her hips cries out and I eat chase her all the way up the bed until she’s got nowhere to squirm and she’s hanging onto my bed posts for dear life as she shivers and shakes and sweats…oh…sweat soaked blonde hair hanging down ferally over her shining glowing skin and her heaving firm DD’s.

I know the signs of cumming now, my own and now hers and I bring her to her peak three times before I keep going and take her over the edge…God she was vocal…god the feeling of her heels in my back as I suckled away…the thump, thump…whine as she was hitting the back of her head on the wall in frustration.

I get rewarded but a hard spasm and an unexpected facefull of girly-goo…and a long sweet torture scream. I made her squirt? Girls can squirt…just tasting that it is what it is and she has another one…and another scream…the creak of her pulling on the bed posts.

I’m so turned on…so…of god…goddess?…I’m so enthralled and empowered and so tuned into her I whine cry into her pussy… “Oh…ff..fuck…Cindy…” As I get swept into my own good little cum right along with her.

I never even touched myself….I feel like…

Panting…I move and just lovingly tenderly kiss both of her thighs…then I reach up and wrap my arms around that perfect waist over those hips and I rest my head on her pubic mound…not for sex but like the ways you snuggle into your favorite pillow and hug and hold your lover at the same time.

And I stay there… “I love you Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you.” I sort of sigh, sort of sing? Before I close my eyes…

Sex, lovemaking’s never been this…I’ve never woken up to have sex like this at two something in the morning.

………………………………................Waking in the morning. No a quick look at the clock and it’s just past noon. Well it’s still…the same as last night. She’s so beautiful, and there’s not a breath in me that’s unsure about this. She’s watching me smiling and I smell coffee…latte. I have one of those coffee makers that you just insert the little jello-pudding cuppy thing into.

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

I’m smiling and sitting up and I take my coffee and take that first heavenly sip and sigh. I look at her drinking hers and how many times have we done this thing…even me naked in the sheets before?

“Well we’re out.”

“What?!” I nearly choke on my coffee.

“It’s the talk of our social networking circle. I think someone talked from yesterday.”

“Oh…oh god…they were still in the apartment when we were?”

“Judging from the way some stuff just was left unpacked and that Hunter left us some leftovers I’d have to say yeah and she got them out of there pretty quickly.”

I try to be calm and drink my coffee but after so much indoctrination of teenaged prom queen like I’m freaking out. Cindy leans over and kisses me sweetly. “Here…” She passes me my laptop and I start looking through it.

There’s some hateful nasty anti-gay crap being said but the squad…the team…other than surprised and some not so surprised comments our friends were and are pretty good about it. There’s no one really ragging on Cindy too hard either…other than the anti-LGBT stuff she’s got friendly comments even.

There’s even some you can do betters from some of the schools outgirls. I’m not that popular with the alternative culture crowds. I’ve been a stuck up social climbing bitc…

I see Cindy typing her response.

[Thanks but no thanks, I’m with the girl that has been my best friend half my life and that I’ve been in love with forever. Jen’s a whole lot more different and loving and soulful than even she’d ever admit to…just please be happy for us and we’ll be happy for all of you.]

I…she…just like that. Just like breathing.

She really loves me.

Then she reaches over to my face and wipes the tears away. “Yeah…yeah I really, really do.”

(Sniffle.) “How…?”

“Jeni…I love you, I know your soul.”

You ever been lovingly kissed better than sex? I just did. I just found my…I actually see us, I see us in that happily ever after spot…that little girls secret dreams spot and we’re there…

I AM going to Marry this girl someday.

………………………………...............It’s two days later and I haven’t been back to school yet and I’m getting out of the car to see Dad. I head up his walk and go to open the door and his new wife plastic surgery Barbie flings the door open.

“Oh if it’s not the little fucking dyke. Get the fuck out of here freak before I call the neighborhood security guys.”

“I’m here to talk to dad.”

“I don’t fucking care, I’m not having some dyk…”

I punch her in the face ad bust the hell out of her nose job and she fall off her hooker heels.

Yeah I know…but remember…I’m the same girl that started the fight between me and Hunter.

I walk into the house.

“He’s in the den right? I’ll find him.” I lean down at her sobbing and throwing a fit. “Next time…watch what you say to people. See I’ve got a very good lawyer and you being a homophobic cunt made me afraid for my life so this was self defense…get in my way again and I’ll fuck you with a tire iron…I’m a lesbian now, I’m allowed to do that.”

She stares at me like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming train.

I stand up straight and proper-prom-queen-mega-bitch sway and heel click my way into dad’s den.

Oh yeah my bitch-fu is strong.

Dad’s drinking scotch and playing pool while he’s got some golf game up on the big plasma on the wall. He looks up and I close the door. “So you heard?”

“Yeah…your step…well she was only too happy to share the news. Your mother called…a lot and apparently since you never had a strong role model for a man that you being gay is my fault.”

“I broke her nose job out there.”

He closes his eyes…sighs. “Why?”

“She was being a homophobic cunt and wasn’t going to let me come see you.”

“She’s not your mother, she…not even your mother can keep me from seeing you…gay or whatever.”

“I’m really not gay dad I’m bi it’s just I fell in love with a girl.”

“That Hunter chick?”

“No dad, with Cindy.”

His eyes actually looked surprised at that. Then thoughtful, then that two and two together look. He nods and he passes me his scotch. “Congratulations, you’ve got better taste in women than your dad.”

I smile and drink….oh…god…strong…

He pours himself another and say’s. “Grab a stick, and rack up the table.”

“I don’t know how?”

“I’ll teach you.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Is this me being with a girl like you’re trying to see me like your son or something?”

He stops and frowns not hurt or mad he just does that sometimes when he’s thinking. He takes a drink.

“Yeah, a bit…you’ve always seemed like your mom’s kid, the right out of the princess catalog girly girl. You scared the crap out of me because I didn’t and I don’t get that world. You never really had a tomboy phase and stuff. This, this is the first major thing between you and me that we have in common.”

It’s a dodge, hell it’s a cop out and it’s a kind of a douchy thing to say. But it’s the first real olive branch that he’s ever given me. I could be all sensitive and freak out and stuff but we’re…well we’re not like that. My family, my usual crowd growing up. You learn to look past the douchebaggery and sometimes see the stuff hiding there.

He’s using this to kind of say he’s sorry.

It’s a rich-asshole kind of language.

I’ll take it.

“So you’re going to show me how to play pool for real?”

He sort of smiles. “Yeah, yeah I can do that. You want to talk about it?”

“Yeah dad…actually yeah. I’d like some fatherly advice if that’s okay.”

It’s sort of really cool and mixed with really sad that he’s happy and shocked by it.

“Alright…then.”

Okay, not perfect, and he’s kind of a shitty dad but he’s here, he’s trying and actually talking to me. Mom set me a restraining order yesterday.

I hope things will go better with Cindy and her parents.

My phone buzzes. It’s my girl.

“Hey you…” I answer.

“Hey too…” She says back sweetly.

“How’d it go?”

“Good. They kinda knew and were giving me space.”

“Oh…cool, Dad’s been awesome actually.” He looks surprised at me saying that and happy.

“Good baby…Mom and the girls and I are shopping now.”

“Cool new clothes always rock.”

She giggles and says. “Bye baby see you later.” She hangs up and then sends me some photos…oh…Victoria secrets…pose…pose…pose…drool…then I burst out laughing as the last one is her and her mom and the girls in the family heading into one of those “Adult” stores.

I actually show that one to my dad.

He pours me another drink.

I think I’m starting to like scotch.

This is so not the picture I had ever as my life.

I think I like it better though.