If you go down to the woods tonight, you're in for a big surprise....!

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by wassername,
part lost count.

I drove back to my room remembering the camera I'd set up. Then the horrid letter that caused it. I wondered if I'd be any the wiser after I watched the record on the computer.

I got home, parked up and took my bags and equipment up to my room. Then I went back down to my mail box. The camera was still there and there were a few letters, some addressed to the old me and one or two for my current incarnation. The computer only showed the top of the postman's head, so someone or something had moved it. At one point a white something or other flashed across but other than that there was nothing.

I opened the post and there was another note from the tormentor.

'Think you're clever do you, bloody fairy. Do you know what happens to naughty fairies? They get their wings pulled off. See you around Tinkerbell.

An Illwisher.'

I watched the tape again, it had to be the white flash, they somehow saw the camera and avoided it with a piece of card or something. I put the first note with the second. Maybe I should tell the police? I had no immediate suspects, the two clowns I'd fought off with Simon perhaps? I doubted they had enough brain cells to notice a camera, let alone avoid it. No they'd have attacked me directly or put more crayon on my door. So who could it be?

My notoriety would be spreading, perhaps beyond the department, I hoped not as far as the press. I wasn't beseiged by them yet, so maybe they weren't interested or they hadn't heard yet. Not much I could do about it anyway, so I got on with sorting out what I'd wear.

Over the past few months, I'd been wearing the few womens' things I had to the woods. It was dark and it was the only chance I had to be me, until Stella hit me off the bike and changed everything. The jeans were womens', as were the shirt and sweater. The boots and waxed jacket were unisex. However, the knitted hat and gloves and my socks all new purchases, were very girly and I smiled when I saw them.

I walked down to the shop and chatted with my Asian shopkeeper, buying some fresh milk and some bread rolls. I looked for something to put in the rolls and opted for a tin of tuna. I hoped Simon liked it because it was what he'd be eating while we were out, and drinking my instant coffee. It can get quite cold at night, even in the woods and a snack and a drink are helpful in dealing with it. I grabbed some potato crisps as well, we'd dine like lords tonight, I joked to myself as I walked back.

My tea was a can of Oxtail soup and the spare bread roll, which I washed down with a cuppa. Then I prepared the picnic, four tuna rolls, crisps, chocolate and a flask of coffee. I packed them in the rucksack along with the hardback book I used to record all my data. It weighed a bit, being two hundred pages thick but the data was invaluable. I'd taken everything off the book and onto the computer but I kept up with the pen and paper records, because I could read them in the dark with my red headlight and not be blinded by it. Also the red light didn't seem to worry the wildlife.

I checked I had spare batteries for everything and collected the kit together. I washed and changed into my field clothes, pulling on the jeans and the blouse. It reminded me of times before Stella and I smiled. Things were so good now, and Mister Wonderful was coming to collect me in fifteen minutes, I smiled and thought how lucky I was.

I pulled on the ladies' trekking shirt, I'd got in a German supermarket which had opened in the town, for a few pounds. It fit perfectly, even better now my boobs were slightly bigger with the recent weight gain. Then the sweater, a wool-nylon blend in green with a crew neck. I tied a silky scarf around my neck and hoped that Simon would be adequately dressed.

Finally, I refreshed my lipstick, something I only used to do once I'd cycled to the woods. Goodness life was brilliant, this living the dream stuff, was great. Jacket on, I bent down to pick up the rucksack, gee whizz, it was heavy with a capital aitch. I opened it again but there was nothing I could remove, then I realised, once we were actually walking we'd have the image intensifiers in our hands not on my back, and once we drank the coffee, the bag would be a bit lighter. Maybe we could take turns to carry it?

I struggled down to the street after locking my door. Simon drew up as I plonked the bag down. He jumped out of the car and hugged me then kissed me, life just couldn't get any better! Then he picked up the bag like it was full of air and placed it in his car boot.

"I hope you'll be warm enough, it gets quite cold out in the woods."

"Don't worry about me, I've got my love to keep me warm," he joked.

"A good coat may be more reliable," I joked back.

"In the boot, young lady, just in case you fail to live up to expectations."

I blushed, was that simply innuendo or did he think we'd be having a naked romp under the stars. If he did he was going to be disappointed, I needed to get this done as quickly as possible tonight, so no gazing at the moon. I had an exam tomorrow which would be easier if I wasn't yawning.

We drove to the woodland and along a forestry track to which I had a key. This was magic compared to using a bike, especially with the jazz CD he was playing. Using an MP3 on a bike, isn't too brilliant, the wind noise spoils most of it. This was pure luxury and I could have gone off to sleep instead of doing field work. Simon pulled up where I indicated.

"We have a half a mile walk to my first nesting site, can we keep the conversation quiet, it makes all the little furry things run away."

He nodded and pretended to zip up his mouth. I opened the rucksack and pulled out the two image intensifiers and showed him how they worked. I also explained where the spare batteries were, although we should have been back before they ran out.

I explained what we were going to do, examine and count the residents of the various nesting boxes, then write up the data as we went along. I explained about the red light and so on. He understood everything, which wasn't hard even for an aristocrat with a degree.

We set off and he took the rucksack off me and pulled it on his shoulders. Wow, better still. I'd carry it back after we drank the coffee and ate the rolls, hee hee. The first site was the smallest and most easy to record, it only took an hour and Simon sat on a log and watched me working, climbing up trees and examining the boxes.

I had a small ladder which I stashed in a green camouflage bag and hid in a Cupressa leylandii tree. The forestry people knew all about it and had even spared the tree until I finished my study. Now it could run another three years, they might not be so happy. Maybe there'd be enough money to either fund a store of some sort, one of those steel thingies which could be set in concrete, or a 4x4 and then I could carry it all with me.

Simon was impressed with my agility in the dark, although with the image intensifier he could see me quite clearly. I used the red headlight mostly for the near stuff and the handling of the dormice, when I could catch them. I would come around one day time and look for remains of what they'd been eating.

We ate our rolls and drank some coffee, and moved on to the next site. Again he carried the rucksack and I toted the ladder, I knew when I was well off, usually I carried the lot. The second site was about a quarter of a mile away, or four hundred metres. Too far for the colonies to interbreed, or that was the perceived wisdom. I hoped DNA from faecal samples may prove otherwise.

I also had plans to introduce a new colony between two of the existing ones, using laboratory bred animals. We had permission to do it, but not until the spring. I'd identified the place I thought was most suitable with plenty of food for them and places to nest, I'd also put up nest boxes for them, which made keeping tabs on the little buggers, slightly easier.

We tend to think of them as dozy, hibernating away the winter or being stuck in tea pots a la Alice in Wonderland. When they are active, they can move quite quickly and through the top of the tree and bush canopy, scrambling and jumping from twig to twig, like minature squirrels. Well maybe not as fast as squirrels, who are slower than pine martens, but faster than field scientists can keep up with them! It's all relative, and once you've got caught up in brambles because you didn't look where you were going, and fallen over tree roots and down holes hidden by leaf mould, you exercise caution - sometimes.

We had just got to site two when my red light failed, I asked Simon for the new batteries as I knelt down to take it apart to fit them. I should have carried them in my pocket, but they were all in plastic boxes in the bag. It was very dark, there being little moon, and I sort of saw him lift up the bag in one arm and dig about in it with the other when he said, "Here, what's that over there?"

I heard a twig snap and presumed it was a deer. However, it soon proved it wasn't. There was a small flash and a bang and Simon flew backwards landing nearly on top of me. I screamed and I heard voices and footsteps running away.

He was groaning as he lay on the ground and my eyes filled with tears as I reached in my pocket for my mini maglite, my emergency torch.