CHAPTER 54
They flew down in the end, and it was a serious crowd at the airport. Rachel and Larinda did the driving, as well as the accommodation, but in the end I had given up on the idea of having so many people around one table and booked a corner of the Dysentery, the inevitable nickname of the Dynasty Chinese restaurant. Will had called a favour in from a friend, a pretended sleepover, and would be on the train for the meal. Mats, sleeping bags, spare beds, we finally found enough nooks to fit everyone in, helped by that fact that several were sharing.

That was one delight from the start: Rachel’s confidence seemed to heave returned, and Jim was sleeping nowhere else “but right on top of me. Or under. Or behind. I’ll try them all out…”

The one who seemed happiest, though, was Ralph. Not being prurient, I had no idea where his journey with my mother was going, nor where it had already been, and it was, I suppose, a fair assumption that physicality would hardly be rampant, but they were clearly happy with each other, and that truly warmed my soul. The only thing that dampened our mood, of course, was the fact that VAT had gone back up, and we would end up paying just a bit more for our meal.

That led to another decision: who was going, me, or, well, me? I had been at work before the arrivals, and so I met them in trousers and jacket, as Rob, and, to be honest, I thought Mam had looked slightly disappointed. Larinda and I had played with the camera, trying to get as flattering a shot of me as she could, and five or six had been mailed to ‘the old woman’. Neil had rung me shortly thereafter, describing her mixed smiles and tears, and yet there I was, dressed as a man.

They came off the plane, out of the door, and Jim…Jim still insisted on kissing my cheek, and it was the oddest thing: I was in drag, and yet I felt fully, completely female at that point. John just looked, then smiled.

“I hope you don’t expect me to enjoy the beer down here. I know what it tastes like, aye?”

I just hugged him welcome, which actually came surprisingly easily.

“Come on, people, let’s get on the road, and I can get comfortable”

And so it was. While we left the others to distribute clothes and chattels around bedrooms, I got out of my work kit and into what I felt better in. Larinda ran an eye over my choices.

“No. The cream blouse, the brown wool skirt. Nude tights for today, OK? And clean undies. I like a girl in clean undies”

“Pardon?”

She flushed. “Well, I like this girl, and preferably naked, but you know what I mean”

I kissed her. It seemed right. “You OK?”

“Yeah” she sighed. “Just slowly getting my head around things, but as long as it involves you, then I will be fine. Come on, you have a mother to embarrass”

A mother who was apparently sharing a bed. That was embarrassing enough for me, never mind her. It seemed my one remaining parent would continue to surprise me. She turned as I walked in, and smiled, but her eyes were wet.

“That rig doesn’t exactly gan with the slippers, lass”

Her attempt at a joke fell with the first of her tears, and then she was in my arms, along with my brother and then Ralph.

“I didn’t know what to think, at first, like, and then I thowt, well, he’s not gone, she’s still here, and it was different, aye, when ye were still, well, Rob; and then I had the pictures, and….ach hell, Jill, ye’re real, aye? And my son’s not gone, is he? Just, never been, aye?”

“Aye, Mam…”

My own tears were there, and all I could do was repeat the words, how sorry I was. Larinda stood off a little way, then stepped forward with the tissues that she always seemed to provide. She pulled Mam to her and kissed the top of her head.

“Two of us, love, missing the man, yeah, but we’ve got the girl, so all’s well, nothing to mourn”

We gathered ourselves, and I noticed that even old Ralph was damp in the eye. Larinda sorted us in the end.

“Bloody good job she hadn’t put her face on, innit? Come on, there’s some crispy duck with my name on it, and she’s got a shrink to cheer up”

The restaurant wasn’t too far, and we walked as a family to the entrance. “Party of thirteen, in the name of Carter”

Larinda put her hand on my arm. “Fourteen, love”

That was when I saw the other John sitting in the takeaway area.

“I just thought…”

I kissed her. She just thought that someone needed a friend; so typical of my lover. His eyes widened slightly, but then settled into what I knew would be a steady inspection of every part of me. That was John. No longer MAC, just a middle-aged man in need of a life. The waiter coughed.

“I have a Carter, but it’s a party of sixteen”

Eh? “Larinda, you rang to add John, yeah?”

She nodded, and the waiter smiled. “Your friend, he said add two more, you would understand”

“What, John there?”

“No, man called Alec”

Sodding hell, bringing his own reinforcements. Ah well, it was supposed to be a celebration, and as I walked over to shake John’s hand (and wonder how the hell we would avoid confusion) Karen and her men arrived. And we found our table, set into a small side room and ready with chopsticks and vegetable ‘flowers’ in iced water.

“Hello, you are Jill today and no skins”

“Hello James, and we have another James today who is not you”

“There are two James here”

“And two Johns. We need to find a way of telling them apart. We need another name”

That other John was listening, and stepped forward. “Hello, I am John, and that is my James, my brother James, but he is Jim, and I am Fossy”

“Why is your name now changed?”

“It hasn’t changed; that’s just what they called me in the army. Hello, I am Fossy, and that is Jim”

“I am James”

He seemed to be in a steady mood, which was good, and I was pleased we had the small room, as the stress would be reduced. I shook hands with John, odd John as I still thought of him, and he smiled.

“She is a good woman, Jill, and I am pleased that she thought of me. And now I see what I should have seen so many years before. I am supposed to be a trained observer, no?”

“Aye, John, but just a little limited in your focus up to now, like”

He smiled. “Point taken, and thankfully so was your suggestion about the reserve. You have made a difference, Jill Carter”

I leant forward, as any woman would, and hugged him, and it was returned. Credit to you, John. Humanity calls.

“You want drinks?”

The waiter was hovering, as we sorted out our seats, and Will came in, grinning away.

“This is like playing truant, Jill! Looking gorgeous, by the way!”

“Flattery is welcome, Will, but it won’t get you into my knickers, aye?”

We made the rest of the introductions as pints of lager and glasses of wine or soft drinks appeared, and Ralph sighed happily.

“How, that teks us back, like. Tiger beer…taste of Singers. Smashin’!”

Rachel was grinning. “Do you think the waiters get special courses? I mean, they always sound the same, but their customers…how the hell are they supposed to understand you lot?”

John–Fossy, remember that---grinned back. “You seem to understand wor kid OK, at least from the way he’s been smiling since that trip down for New Year”

She folded her arms and lifted her chin. “Not at all. He has learnt to understand me, that’s all that’s important, and follow MY instructions”

Dead pan, Terry just said “Like ‘take me now, big boy’?”

“No, darling” said his wife, “Harder harder, faster faster, surely?”

Napkins; no need for Larinda’s tissues. Just then, the waiter appeared, with Alec. Someone had worked him over was my first thought. Hair cut, shirt–rather a nice lavender one–ironed, trousers cleaned, and face shaved properly. He was smiling, and holding what was obviously a card in an envelope.

“Jill, hello! Looking good, girl. I took a small liberty, if you don’t mind. I sort of thought I’d be a bit out on a limb, so I invited two of my friends…”

John was looking past him. “Sally! What are you doing here?”

I was now confused. “John, how do you know friends of my therapist?”

“Er, because she is actually MY therapist. This is very strange”

The woman in question wasn’t the biggest person in the world, and had a slightly tired look to her, and her husband matched her in stature. He made up for it, though, in presence. That was the only word that came to my mind. He was in balance, his movements sure and precise, but his eyes…they looked at you, and not only into yours, but through them. Then he smiled, and I began the round of introductions.

Sally and Stewart McDuff were their names, and after a bit of negotiation about John and Alec’s pronouncement that he had had no idea that the man was coming, Sally just smiled and ordered a double vodka and orange.

“Got the chauffeur tonight, so I can let my hair down. Mr Wilkins, this is reverse patient-doctor confidentiality, OK? If I act like a tit, you don’t tell anyone, and I won’t tell them about that embarrassing tattoo. The one you don’t have”

John actually smiled, as Alec apologised again. Karen was on form, though.

“Here’s a suggestion, boys and girls. Just to save ourselves from involuntary admissions, let’s just go for the ‘eat till you puke’ buffet, yeah? And I want first go at the duck”

Larinda slapped her arm. “Oy, me dibsies first!”

And so it went, right up to the point where Stewart looked straight at Fossy and asked the question.

“Pongo or bootneck?”