CHAPTER 49
“Hiya James. You are James and you are my friend, aye?”

He smiled, which was always a highlight of my life. Karen saw, and smiled with him.

“Out in the open, Jill?”

“Aye, for today. Brought the support crew, like, but it is still a little off. We sort of thought London, you know, all used to seeing oddities, all strangers. Just wanted…”

Words failed me just then, and I had to think for a few seconds. What exactly was I doing here, in a bra with plastic tits and a painted face?

“Karen, it was, well, impatience? I had to do something, anything, just to get it moving. I couldn’t stay the way I was, and it seemed like a good idea. Shit, it seemed like a good idea right until we left the bloody house, that is. Now, I’m not so sure”

She hugged me, which seemed to be the central theme of my life at that point, and smiled again. “You look good, honest. You look a bit chunky, can’t avoid that, but the chest helps, and more than that you’re in a group, so not alone, yes? Hell, girl, you should have realised that years ago. Never alone, got me? Now, brought all your usual kit? We splashed out on some of our own; James has really got into the way of this stuff. Come on, in we go. James has his book, right, son?”

“Yes, I have two books. One is mine and the other is mine, but it is not mine because it is the Collins Field Guide that they gave me as a present when I joined the Trust so now I have my own card for free entry to all of their reserves in the country”

He was gushing, nervousness clearly in play. I smiled back at him. “Shall we go to the Tower or to the Wildside first, James?”

“If we go to the Tower it will be through the restaurant and then you can have a cup of tea after all the train journey you have done”

I gave Terry a sharp look, and he grinned. “We are having a good day today. Son, thank you for thinking of our friends, that was kind. Tea and cake, everyone?”

We made our way into the reception area, and my appearance didn’t seem to draw any interest. Perhaps it was the fact that my membership card was simply swiped through the machine without a look, but we were in and I was still nervous. Round the corner to the café, with the Frankie Howerd ducks calling just beyond, and I settled down with a ‘pot for one’ and a slice of carrot cake. Karen leant forward for an inspection.

“Who did your face?”

“My better half there. She also found the gloves”

Karen nodded. “Nice job. More is less, all that stuff. Give the public something to focus on, like the gloves, and they see what they want to”

Rachel joined us after her short bus ride, just in time to catch up on the cake front, and she proudly showed us her own ‘free gift’ copy of a bird guide.

“So I got mugged when I entered? No worries, I love this place, it’s just so, dunno, not London? And I got these”

She opened her rucksack to reveal two thermos flasks and a container of milk. Terry just smiled.

“Marry me? I know it’s illegal, but I am sure we can plead some special sky-pixie rule to let us be as one before Heaven and the holy tea-pot”

Karen slapped his thigh as James giggled. “Dad, you are married to Karen and it is only allowed to be once”

Karen humphed. “Spoken for, you are!”

Larinda grinned wickedly. “Yeah, and so is she, if she’d admit it”

Karen clearly sensed blood. “Do tell…” she purred.

Larinda shrugged. “Nothing much to tell. We went up to see Jill’s family, show William around, yeah, and she met this northern monkey. Well, when I say monkey, I mean gorilla. Nice guy, though”

Rachel was actually blushing. “With my history with men, I hope to be a little luckier. Sod it, I deserve to be. He IS a nice guy, though, so far. I’m happy, you know, to give it a bit of a try-out”

Karen put on her most angelic expression, just as I took a sip of tea, and said “Sort of suck it and see?”

Once I had cleaned myself and the table, we agreed tacitly not to explain the joke to James.

It was colder now, and we ambled along towards the Peacock Tower a flight of parakeets went screaming through the trees as some monstrous airliner droned over from Heathrow. How they stayed up, god only knew. The sand martins were gone, along with the Cetti’s, but at the top of the Tower we got our view out over the marsh and lagoons. Snipe were there in abundance, and geese, as well as a nice mix of wintering ducks: teal, widgeon, the usual shovellers and gadwall, plus a few shelduck. James spent a contented half hour devising names, including ‘pop-up’ for the dabchick, and then the lift doors opened to admit another group of birders, led by a very familiar man in a green sweatshirt. His eyes found Rachel first, and he brightened, but then his gaze travelled on, and came to rest on my face, then my chest, and once more rose with apparent effort to look me in the eye. Karen stepped in.

“Hello again, John! You know Rachel of course, Terry and James, and Larinda, and you should remember Jill here”

It was a surreal experience. I could actually see the thoughts follow each other through his mind, each setting a little twitch off round his eyes, and then he nodded.

“Karen, hello. Nice to see you all again. Hello, Jill, this is my guided group for this morning. Have you seen anything of note?”

James nodded. “Hello John. I have seen pop-ups today, and Frankie Howerd ducks”

One of John’s group was listening, looking puzzled. John thought for a few seconds. “Pop-ups…Jill, would that by any chance be a dabchick?”

“Spot on, John”

He turned to the five or six people with him. “James here is making his own bird book, based entirely on mnemonics. He has come up with alternative names for some birds, based on jizz and field marks, or on song, or on a combination. Anyone worked out what a Frankie Howerd duck is?”

There was silence, and then one of them started to snigger. “Tell me it’s an eider drake…”

John just nodded and said “Ah-OOH missus!”

The woman who had worked it out laughed happily. “That is inspired! What a wonderful idea, son!”

John smiled. “Yes, it is, and he is a very sharp lad. Now, when we are away from children I will explain his name for the Cetti’s warbler”

James, however, had drifted behind his father, and his hands were up before his face. Too many people, too much attention. John saw, and I realised there was true empathy there. Whatever position he occupied on the spectrum, he was still aware enough to see distress in another. He shepherded his group over to the other side of the central pillar and got them set up overlooking the other small scrape, then came back round.

“Jill…we can have lunch today? I will be here”

I nodded. “Good to see you again, John. We are going to have a walk over to the Wildside, then grab something hot. I am sure we will see you on the path, aye?”

“Aye. Yes. Jill…you were right; this is what I needed. It grounds me, as I believe the expression is”

“John, you have a group to lead. The grounding should be with them. We will see you in a little while, OK?”

“OK. In a little while”

We hurried James away from the crowd and off to one of the quieter sculpture areas, where he started to recover his equilibrium.

“Friends. You are all friends. John is a friend. John has too many people to be friends with today”

Terry nodded. “We’ll go past the Frankie Howerds and see if there are any others about, hey, son?”

“Yes Dad. Jill and Rachel and Larinda and Karen will come too. There will be six of us”

Six there were, and it was quiet at the end of the network of paths, which helped James settle down enough to start recovering.

“What was that bird, Jill, Gillian?”

That was a green woodpecker, James”

“It sounds like laughing. I will call it a laughle”

I laughed myself. “James, it already has another name, and that is ‘yaffle’, because of the call, aye? Which one is better?”

“I will call it a yaffle too, then. I can’t be right all the time”

Terry blinked, and then grinned, as James slid seamlessly into one of the most normal phases of behaviour I had ever seen from him. It lasted all the way round the wilder part of the reserve, as we watched small birds on the feeders as rats attempted to grab their dropped seeds. Back to the café again, and there was a real chill in the air now. Rachel’s flasks had been emptied, to much appreciation, and obvious effect, and I needed a visit when we arrived at the central complex. It was Karen who grabbed my arm.

“No. Not the gents’, love, not today. Come with us”

What should have been bloody obvious needed pointing out, but it did demonstrate one thing: I had relaxed at last. We each found a cubicle, did what was needed, and then Karen helped me readjust my warpaint before we joined the others again. Larinda just nodded.

The dish of the day was lasagne, and it was a treat. Not because of any startling expertise in their kitchen, but rather because it was warm and we were not. John joined us rather quickly, and I suspected he had been hovering nearby just to be certain, as I now realised was one of his odder habits.

“Well, Jill. A lot explained here, and a lot of questions. Am I enough of a friend to be included in what they call ‘the loop’?”

James looked up from his plate, and stared right at John, in a way I had never seen him do before.

“Jill is Gillian and has two names. Jill and Gillian were Rob, but that was a Robskin that she wore and it had to come off. Wearing two skins hurts. Taking one off hurts. Jill that is Gillian that was Rob is my friend. She hurts. Other people shouldn’t hurt her more. I…I…I will hurt anybody who hurts my friend and Jill and Gillian and Rob are my friend”