CHAPTER 36
“You think I might be able to help someone else?”

“Yes, John”

And yourself, hopefully. “Look, I want some tea, like, so let’s get down the pub, aye?”

He nodded, and headed off for his car. Just then, my mobile rang. William. Clearly, it never rains in my life without becoming a downpour. I flicked the phone open.

“Hiya, Will”

“Hello, Jill, what are you up to?”

“About to head off to the Norfolk, in Arundel, with a bunch of others”

“Could I…I am supposed to be doing badminton tonight, but if I bunk off, I can be there quite quickly”

“Problems?”

“Well, just need to talk”

“I have quite a crowd with me, so we’d need to pop outside”

“Ah, better than nothing. See you in a bit?”

“Aye. You driving?”

“Yeah”

“Well, be careful, no speeding”

He laughed. “I’d need to push it off a cliff for that! Later!”

John was already on his way, so I clipped in and sprinted down to the town centre, locking my bike up in the courtyard behind the pub, where I found the others had secured a table big enough for us all. I saw that John had already attached himself to James again, and pulled Larinda off to one side.

“William’s on his way, love. Don’t know what for”

“Order him food?”

“Give it a while, aye? Half an hour should see him. I’ll grab some menus. Love, keep an eye on John. He’s falling apart”

She fixed me with a very hard stare. “What happened to ‘MAC’? I thought you detested him?”

I had. “Lass, how could I hate someone so pathetic? He’s broken, really broken. Look…he’s not what we thought he was, aye? Not at all; hating him would be like kicking a puppy”

Something soft flowed into her face. “Oh, Jill. Sometimes you just say something out of the blue, and I realise how much I love you, and why. You are such a soft cow, you know”

She paused, looking away for a few seconds. “That’s my problem. You do, you say these things, and all I can see is that you aren’t bullshitting me, you’re a bloody woman in there, and it scares me”

I stepped forward and took her by the waist. “How does it scare you?”

“What do I do? I can’t lose you, because you are you, but I am still shit-scared, you know; I don’t know if I can cope. That sounds wrong, I’m sorry. I’m here, but I don’t know if I can stay. Look…Will’s coming, let’s get a public face on, yeah? Just remember, I will do my best”

I hugged her. “What brought that on?”

“You did. What I said, yeah? Every now and then you just shove girl in my face, and you don’t realise it”

I kissed her, as gently as I could. “Pet, now you see what I have had to live through all my life. Shit, I don’t know whether to cry or smile, you seeing me as I am even when I look like this. Thank you, anyway”

There was a hint of a sniffle. “Come on, Will, yeah?”

I kissed her again. “Aye. Come on”

We rejoined the rest, and both Karen and Rachel gave me a slightly anxious look, but I gave a little shake of my head.

“Got Von’s eldest lad on his way over. Wants a chat, but I have no idea what about. If you don’t mind, can we wait a little while to order? I have an idea what he’d want, but I think, well, wait and see, like”

Terry smiled. “But those who want can still have beer?”

I grinned back, my distrust of him easing more each time we spoke. “Aye, if you are buying. Pint of Speckled Hen”

William took around half an hour, and he was looking distinctly nervous as he took in the crowd.

“Hi, Will, Larinda you know, but I don’t remember if you’ve met my old friend Karen. Terry her husband, James their son, and Rachel and John, colleagues of mine”

John looked grateful, but I realised James was closing down. Terry gave me another nod, and took him off for a walk, as his hands came together in front of his face. I wondered if we had pushed him too far for one day. Karen made her excuse, and went off to her family in a corner of the courtyard, shaded from the slanting early evening sunlight. A moment’s thought, and I realised that there was no way John could be a threat. John surprised me, just then, by popping off to get Will a coke, leaving us some privacy. Will started by clearing his throat.

“Got an offer of a place based on this year’s grades…”

Larinda was puzzled. “Bit early, isn’t it?”

Will blushed. “I, um, I’m a bit sort of good at stuff. I took two A-levels a year early”

I laid a hand on his shoulder. “No false modesty, son. What do you have?”

“Well, it’s conditional on two A’s…”

I started to laugh at that one, and Larinda screwed her face up in theatrical puzzlement.

“Look, love, he’s already done Maths and Physics, and got A-stars, so they’re basically saying ‘come on down!’ He’s on further maths and bloody German at the moment”

Rachel’s turn to be confused. “Why German?”

Will was looking even more embarrassed. “Textbooks, articles in the scientific press, lots of them in German”

“Ah!”

I asked the obvious question. “What, and where, son?”

“Astrophysics. Newcastle…”

Oh dear. I knew, absolutely, that Von would be unhappy with the place he had chosen, because of me, and I had a sudden burst of near hatred for her stupidity, for the bigotry that drove such a wedge between her and her eldest child. Sod her.

“Want Mam’s number? You, er, know about my brother Neil?”

The blush was now obvious, and the voice small. “Yes”

“Oh, Will, he’s not going to lead you to love and fulfilment, aye?”

“I know, but, well, he’s going to know a lot more about all this shit than anyone Mam knows, and, oh hell, he’s your brother, and if I trust anyone, it’s you. Would your mother, you know, be OK with it?”

I gave him my best smile. “She’s OK with her daughter, William. Look, here’s John with your drink, so just take the rest as read, aye?”

“I haven’t told you what I need, Jill”

I managed, somehow, to find an even better smile. “And do you really think you need to? Leave it with me. I trust you’ll want a look round the place first”

“Yeah, but Mam won’t let me drive up. The Uni does accommodation for that sort of thing. Suppose I’d fly up”

Rachel was busy, as John set down the drink and a bundle of menus. She held up her super-phone.

“Just been looking up the flight times. The Flybe from Gatwick gets in twenty minutes adrift of the one from Eastleigh. Ji–Rob, if you want to be up there, you can both be at Newcastle, coming and going, at the same time”

John gave me a sharp look at her slip, but I ignored him. “So, we could meet you there, show you around, and see you to your digs for the night…Oh. You cheeky sod!”

He was even redder-faced. “Rob, you were never just my Mam’s friend. I sort of had you down as mine as well”

That did it, and I grabbed him into a hug. “Always and forever, son. Always and forever”

Larinda stroked his cheek. “Want some old-woman company?”

Rachel harrumphed. “And what about me? One of the world’s best party cities, and you want to leave me out? Sods!”

I laughed. “What the hell, shall I give the old dear a ring then?”

James interrupted us. “You are William and I am James. Hello William”

I was proud of both boys just then, as William simply replied in kind.

“You are James and I am William, and Rob is our friend”

“Rob is our friend and he has skin on. He is Rob"

Two people looked puzzled at that, but I left it to settle. “Dinner time, folks. Me…sod it, they do a steak and ale pie! That and another Hen, I think”

Larinda grinned wickedly. “And that will be with new potatoes, not bloody chips, you fat cow. Bastard, I mean”

The food was good, the evening chilling down quickly, and James coming steadily back to life as he accepted William’s presence inch by inch and moment by moment. John helped, trying for more ideas for mnemonic names from one of his bird guides, and I could see the loneliness taking a step back within him. Every now and then, though, he would sneak a glance my way, and I wondered how much he had picked up from the slips. He may be odd, but he had never been stupid. I took a moment of my own to slip away to ring Mam.

“Hallo!”

“Hiya Mam”

“Hiya Jill, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

I filled her in on Will’s problems, sparing no details. If anyone had demonstrated acceptance, with what she had done for me and Neil, it was my mother.

“So, you want me to put you and this Larinda up as well?”

“Aye, Mam, and there might be one more”

“And who might that be?”

Once more, a little potted history of Rachel’s own issues.

“Aye, weel, I suppose…you be looking to share a bed with this other one?”

“If that’s OK with you”

“How else would I bloody fit yez in? Let’s see…Neil can take the settee, this Rachel lass the sofa bed in the conservatory, she’ll be safe with our Neil, aye, and William can have his bed and you two the other one, aye? When are you looking to do this?”

“William says about a month’s time. They have a special set of dates for people with early results; I think they want to try and tempt them out of taking a gap year, like. I’ll let you know closer to time, aye?"

"Now, do they all know about you, cause I divvent want to make any slips if you haven’t told them”

“Aye, they’re all in the loop. Look, I’m going to have another pint, then get this lot on the road, aye? I’ll let you know as and when”

“Ok then. And Jill…”

“Aye, Mam?”

“I love you, lass”