CHAPTER 48
The phone rang at some stupid time in the morning, even more stupid than I had set the alarm for.

“Mglwmffh?”

“Jill? William. Just sneaking a quick call, wanted to let you know. Provisional acceptance at Newcastle”

That woke me up, and with me, Larinda, who grunted awake beside me.

“Who is it, love?”

“Will. Got accepted at Newcastle”

“Brilliant! Tell your mum?”

“Later, love. Will, Larinda says brilliant, aye? Want me to let Mam and Neil know?”

“Please. Got to run; will speak when I can, yeah?”

“You know where I am, son”

“Thanks, Jill. You…look, without you, I don’t know, yeah…”

“Go! Fill me ion on details when you can talk, aye? Bye!”

I settled back down against my lover, and then realised the alarm was about to go off.

“Sod it. Want tea?”

“Yeah, love. Been thinking…what would you say to me getting a decent bike to ride to work?”

“Bit out of the blue, that”

She giggled. “Saw a couple of cyclists the other day, yeah, and they were a couple who were cyclists as well, if you get my drift”

“Yeah…”

“Well, the kit would have been identical, but he obviously did a lot more on the bike, cause hers was all shiny new, yeah, and his was all washed out. And it got me thinking…”

“Always dangerous, that”

“Yeah well, I was thinking it would be nicer to ride in, get fitter, yeah, and then I had a bit more think, and…”

She tailed off. “This has never been easy for me, but you know that. I get swings and roundabout stuff, I look at you and you’re bloke, look back and you’re girl, and the bloke is slowly losing. You know…you know I have chosen my place, yeah, and it’s beside you, so I started thinking, what’s that trick? Where you get a sheet of paper and write all the pros and cons out, yeah?”

“Aye…”

“Well, lost all my other dress-up dollies decades ago, and if we are getting cycling stuff…and all the other crap, then you can be my own dress-up doll”

“You what?”

She grinned. “Well, p’raps better put it this way: if I am going to have a girlfriend, then I reserve the right to vet what she bloody wears, OK?”

I had to laugh at that, especially as I rather liked what she normally wore, as well as the contents, of course. We seemed to be settling into some sort of life together, one that would allow me to have the life I wanted and needed for myself. How she would react if or when surgery came along…

“Jill?”

“Aye?”

“Could you hang fire with the tea for a bit? Fancy some breakfast, I do”

I was only five minutes late for work.

That day’s delights were a small builder and a CTN, the latter on one of the less friendly retail schemes. Why? D would have worked, even B with his till, but no, he wanted to be flash, and of course he stuffed it up nine ways from Sunday. We could, of course, have visited him when he first opened up, but hey, that would involve using staff with no obvious number to put down as a result. The builder, though…look, hint to the wise, if you are going to do off-record work, don’t be so greedy that you claim back the cost of materials delivered to places where you have no work recorded as being in progress. One for the serious misdeclaration boys, in the end. Same old same old. I got the usual questions about how I slept at night as I wheeled the bike past the builder’s Range Rover, and bit back a reply that would have involved explicit sexual references, and then on the other, that would have donated sexually explicit suggestions.

Rachel was in the office when I got back, pacing by the tea-urn in her familiar stance. She checked the corridor as I came in.

“Jill, would you do me a favour, bit of advice, yeah?”

“What have you done and where are the bodies buried?”

“Cheeky fucker. Look, I was thinking, got the weekends all sort of free now you’re so loved up you ain’t got time for your mates…what are you doing?”

I handed her the paper I had been writing on. “Number of the pub, Rach”

“Oh for god’s sake, girl, you don’t think I came away without his number? We’ve been talking most days since we got back, yeah? Was just, you know”

“Would it be a good idea to invite him down? Well, that’s not the question, really, is it?”

“Well, what is?”

“Could he get a manager in for more than just the one evening is one of them, aye?”

“Well, he says he can, done it before for holidays and shit. What did you mean ‘one of them’?”

“One of the questions”

“Stop teasing, you cow. Spill”

“Nothing much; just wondering how the office would react to you coming in on the Monday walking like John Wayne after a weekend of non-stop shagging”

“You bitch, you can talk!”

Comfortable laughter, friends indeed. How could I have missed picking up on so much?

“Rach, got some news. Will’s been provisionally accepted for the Uni up there. Looks like we’ll have quite a few reasons to go up there again”

“Yeah…your Mam? Neil? They OK?”

“Aye, much better as they go on. Neil seems to be getting out more, less cowering. I think the thing with John, like, opened the world back up for him.. Mam, she’s just about completely healed now, she’ll be off dancing one of these days. Ah. Bolt hole?”

She gave me a twisted little smile. “That’s the thing, girl. I would love to have him down for the weekend, and I would love to go up there, but, well, my history ain’t exactly been wonderful, has it?”

I gave her a hug. “I have room, if that’s what you want. Bring him down, stash him at mine, but no instructions, aye?”

“Pardon?”

“When you are in the middle of your sixteenth shag, we don’t want to have to listen to you telling him exactly what to do. Look, I understand your caution, Rach, but Jim, well, he’s a canny lad, never, ever did me any harm”

She gave me a very flat look. “My last fella did enough harm for ten blokes, yeah? I just need…shit, I just need somewhere I can lock the door, be safe, yeah? Just till I know if I have to, you know?”

“Aye, I know. Look, Larinda and I may be off to the reserve this weekend again, meet up with James and his parents, aye? Want to tag along?”

“Arundel or John’s place?”

“The latter, I think. Be the Sunday; give the girlfriend a chance to look at some bikes the day before”

“Bugger me, you an evangelist or something?”

“No, just makes sense, like. Saves petrol, keeps her fit”

“Well, forget any ideas about me on a bike in London, Carter. Drivers round here are crap enough, ten times worse there. Sunday sounds good, I’ll try and find something sensible that doesn’t involve lycra. Larinda OK with the shiny stuff now?”

I laughed. “She says she will be picking the cycling kit from now on. Just had a thought…”

Rachel twitched. “That sounds dangerous. Seriously…ah, you are thinking of going as yourself, yeah? And what about John?”

“Guilty, pet. That was my thought. Just…it will be up in London, and he might not be working, and, well, I just feel the need to stretch out a bit, aye?”

“Well, if you do, I have your back, but talk to her first, right? You don’t drag her along, you travel together”

Sunday morning dawned slightly grey, but it was dry, and there was a chance of sun later, but that wasn’t what was on my mind. Larinda had done her best, and the weight of her gift was distracting enough that I nearly forgot about the other…aspects.

We had made sure my legs and arms were smooth before settling on a pair of baggy shorts and one of my brighter cycling shirts. Larinda had found a sports bra to fit me, which would prevent any unwelcome departure of my two front passengers. She had also spent a little while doing things to my face and hair.

“Trust me, Jill, with the bit of weight we have got off you, and the fact that most men will be staring at your chest, you will be fine”

“And if I am not?”

“It’s London. Full of weirdos, and far enough away to be safe, so it should be fine. Look…you have to take the plunge sooner or later, and this will be with five friends around you, five people who love you, girl. Here”

“Pink cycle gloves?”

“Yeah, we match now. Shorts, shirts and gloves. Well, only the gloves really match, but you know what I mean”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…oh fuck it, come on”

For the first time in my life I left my house in make-up, with a pair of tits inside my shirt. The sports bra helped, but there was a definite pull at the straps and a very slight restriction to my breathing. As the one who already had a ‘decent’ bike, I had all of the equipment in my panniers, and we were soon at the station. Thank the gods for automatic ticket machines, which meant that I didn’t have to try and talk my way through a human being while dressed so oddly. Rachel joined us at the next stop, and merely raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t till we were just about to get off at Clapham Junction that I heard the first comment.

“Daddy, why has that man got lady bumps?”

The sliding doors cut off the reply, probably fortunately. One more train, along to Barnes, and then the short ride down to the reserve. James, Terry and Karen were waiting at the entrance, just before the little bridge, and we waved as we swang round to the cycle sheds. Offload, change shoes, walk over…

James looked at me, and I could see his mind derailing. He gave his greeting, his declaration of their identity, to Rachel and Larinda before turning back to me. He seemed absent, just for a minute, and then his face cleared.

“You are Jill, and you are Gillian, and you only have two names”