Sweet Dreams-16.…A Waking First Breath.

Chapter 16

I was sweaty from dancing, I was almost buzzed from the whole night where it just seems like my life is finally gelling, turning into something real and It’s running through my veins. The music, the food, the dancing…god I love dancing I feel like I shook off years of bullshit out there on the dance floor. The friendship of some of the other girls and even that solid, but fucked up friends thing I have with Jennifer.

But through all of it was Alex….I slid over to hit through the crowds to where he was sitting drinking a bottle of water and looking all….Goddamn he’s sexy as hell and with everything about him…..Ow…My Heart.

I slip onto his lap and straddle him and I actually enjoy sitting there and sinking on his lap and leaning forward all the way over until my forehead touches his and I’m letting my straight blonde hair frame our faces and for scant moments I let myself just fall in and drown in those eyes of his before I start to hungrily kiss him.

Like I said real man type big tough guys can be beautiful….Alex has killer eyes. They’re framed by these dark dense lashes that are long but they’re just full enough and dark enough that he smolders…then I’m looking into these brown eyes…When god made Alex he made those eyes like some old French guy makes wine.

At first glance they’re brown but then you notice these little things there hints of bronze or copper, like these little streaks, amber too, chocolate…His eyes look like brown Chinese silk with sunshine kissing it, his eyes look like someone gave elemental earth a soul.

And those eyes are looking at me like I’ve never been looked at in my life….like I’m real, like I’m special, like I matter and mean something…that he needs me and he loves me.

And just like that…

Just like that.

I’m in Love with Alex.

I’m in Love with Alex.

Love’s actually real….

I’m in Love with Alex.

Ow….My Heart.

“Alex…take me home, take me home and make love to me.”

It wasn’t even scary this time when I said it. I really, really want this. I want more of how close we were last night. I want it more than the actual sex…but I want that too.

God I love the way he looks at me.

There’s this really old movie. “Officer and a gentleman.” where at the end of the movie that Richard Gere guy carries her out of that place in his arms…I never really though that stuff was romantic until that’s the way that Alex carries me out of there and out to his car.

We’re not that far as things go from his place but it feels like forever. We can’t help but to kiss at red lights between there and home and everyone we’re getting horns beeped and blasted at us.

I ask him to make one stop and I stop a drug store and buy a few needed things.

We get back and there must be the dinner party because there’s a midnight blue Cadillac in the garage too. Nice, expensive this years model. And yeah the house is that big we have space to park too plus all the extras.

Alex doesn’t really say anything about that instead he opens my door for me and helps me out of the car like a gentleman and stuff and we kiss against his car for a bit then he takes me by the hand upstairs.

There’s a lot more kissing once we’re inside and we’re peeling each other out of our clothes and that’s kind of fun too. Do you know how hard it is to get a shirt off of a guy as big and as tall as Alex? I can’t help myself, I don’t want to help myself but I kiss and feel his chest, taste his skin and bury my face into his as I take in that smell, that scent that’s just…Alex.

I really, really get when you don’t have your loved one near you or you lose them and you just cling to that scent of them in whatever’s left…

He’s doing the same and this time I relishing the feeling of his great big hands all rough and yet huge and gentle running over my body and my smooth skin. I suck on one of his fingers at one point, he kisses me so passionately he leaves me a little starry eyed and breathless.

We get to our room and it’s really hot and heavy until I break it off. “Alex wait…I want this to be perfect, to be special…I’m going to go get ready…can you do something while I’m…I’m…getting pretty for you?”

“You’re already the most beautiful person I’ve ever met Hunter.”

“Please?”

“Anything for you…I Love You.”

My universe just stopped and I nearly burst into tears right there. I knew, I though I knew but there’s this part of me that didn’t, was still fighting it and in denial and thought those nagging thoughts even since we’ve been together….I still had that something saying You’re not worthy of love.

It wasn’t even that Alex said it.

It was how he said it, the way he looked at me.

Don’t read into this, I’m really in love with Alex for Alex but the last person in my life that told me they loved me like that was my Daddy…(yeah crying now.) Yeah Daddy, the age I lost him that’ll always will be what I’ll call him.

Do you know what it feels like to get that part of your soul back?

“I Love You Too….” I look into his eyes and try to send those words into his soul and there’s a moment where he reaches out and takes my hands and kisses with me, these small tear streams running from his eyes and down his cheeks and we’re kissing and it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before…my chest hurts, and it’s not that ow my heart it’s that my soul right now is too big for my body.

………….I’ll leave out the embarrassing use of toiletries as I get clean, really clean for Alex and very, very well lubed…I take another shower and lotion and perfume myself and powder a bit and I slip into a black satin camisole and matching panties…even stockings….I do just a little make up and make sure of everything like three times.

I slip out into the bedroom and Alex has the lights off and there’s candles lit. Everything was just so beautiful. A line from a book I’d read just fit… “In candle light even a hovel’s a palace.” It just so fit the moment and Alex.

I walked, over trying to glide, to move sexy like to him and I love the way he’s smiling at me and the way Alex takes me into his arms and the stereo starts to play that song “Always.” By Bon Jovi. We even start to dance a little in the space on the floor next to the bed.

Then there’s one of those perfect long sweet kisses. I’m still not sure the best way to describe it but it’s like I can feel this flush of heat and I’m hyper aware of my skin. And my nipples actually ache and hurt wanting Alex’s attention and there’s this ache on the inside that I can honestly only say is from me needing him inside of me.

He kisses me as he lay’s me back on the bed and his hands touch my chest from habit or on purpose and he has handfuls of that satin and he’s sliding them over my painful diamond hard nipples and I think it’s going to kill me it hurts so much and feels that good and when he massages them with those handfuls of satin there’s something in my brain that goes off it’s track like a sidewinder and I whine and shiver and cum in my panties.

“Oh Alex, please, please Alex I need you.”

No truer words were ever spoken. He pulls off my sodden panties and tosses them to the floor and he starts with one of his huge fingers. It can’t stay still, I move my hips and wriggle on the bed as the pleasure builds…The finger didn’t hurt I’m that lubed and oh God I feel each knuckle as Alex get’s me ready.

Ready…

Yeah huh….

I feel the helmety shape at my entrance and then he kisses me and there’s that hugely painful stretch that has tears running out of the corners of my eyes as he enters me. It hurts and I whine and I whimper and he stops.

“Alex….no…don’t stop…”

“I’m hurting you…”

“Yeah but I’m still practically a virgin…It’s supposed to…”

He sinks in more slowly feeding me inch by inch and I feel so full, stretched and there’s this heat, his heat inside of me. God it feels weird even to breathe…It’s also strangely so right? Fulfilling? I’m trembling as I feel his pubic hairs settle…my insides are freaking out and twitching like they’re asking me what the hell am I doing?

Part of me that’s gone or just getting smaller and smaller in me would be asking the same thing.

I feel Alex pull out and there’s this sensation that ripples through me. Goosebumps but like they’re on my insides. Then he gets to the head and sinks back into me…I hiss, and bite my lip….so far the out…the outstroke is…

Then he sinks back into me, then out, then into me…I think it’s about stroke seven he’s on the outstroke and I want him in…I wrap my legs around his waist and sort of use them to pull and move to meet him….feeling him sinking into me suddenly becomes this Ooooh feeling and moment as my body suddenly says yes…oh yes and please sir may I have some more. I can’t help the “oh fuck yes…” that comes out of me.

And as scary as it should be, and so much huger Alex is than I am I’m not scared. I look in those eyes as he takes me to worlds of pleasure within myself and I feel loved, treasured, protected and safe.

Everything changes. I get lit on fire inside, I fall deeper and deeper for him and not slowly either…My second orgasm hit’s me as it builds in me like nothing before and it’s like this…I’m flooded with this explosion from inside of myself…like sunshine exploded through my body and I sob it felt so good…better than good, better than before, better than anything.

My skin’s to tight and I need to get out of it, his cock is doing this to me filling me with these waves of heat and light I can’t see and warmth unlike anything I’ve ever know and right now it really feels like I can’t get enough of Alex inside of me and if he stopped making love to me I might just actually die.

My third is more regular like my first and I cry out and arch because I’m Cumming as he’s sinking into me and it just feels like he just used his cock to shove the cum out of my body…Me getting off causes me to clench and seize up around him and Alex cries out my name… “Oh f…God…Hunter!” and I feel him swell inside of me and this really hot force inside of me that’s Alex filling me with his cream and it sends me over the edge right after into my fourth that’s that heat and light and sunshine exploding and flaring through my entire body…

Alex is kissing me and he’s massaging my chest which just takes it higher and higher…you know when you feel the sunshine outside and then a cloud moves or something and you feel the sunshine get brighter and warmer…that’s what Alex playing with my chest does for me…

More when I feel his hot wet mouth take a nipple into his mouth and my brain goes through some kind of crash and a reboot. All of light and warmth and not being to get enough of him. I lose control of my rational self and just become Alex’s lover, become Hunter more and more and more…I have orgasms where nothing come out just this storm of feelings and sensations and tears and love.

There’s one point I’m on top and I’m riding him as wantonly and a deeply passionately as any GG ever could and I swear that I felt god? And she was learning into my ear and saying to me… “Hey…guess what? You’re a girl.”

We’re done almost at the same time. I’m on my who knows how many flood of pleasure and I think it’s his third time that he’s filled me.

I completely pass out and flake out in his arms just too exhausted to move, let alone freak out at the feeling and the cum that’s running out of me….Alex… He rolls me over to his side of our bed and he sleeps in the wet spot…He even pulls off his pillowcase and folds it and slips it to where it’ll catch me leaking and then he wraps those huge arms around my little body and pulls me in tight.

I cry quietly but so, so happily to sleep because of that…I might freak out later but my back to his huge and muscled chest, those huge arms around me and the way he smells all layers over my brain like anesthesia and I drift away smiling bigger than I ever felt in my life…it wasn’t the sex…it was… but it was all that and it was Alex saying “Hunter, I (Sniffle) Love You…” him crying but still saying it and whispering it in my ear as he’d pulled me into him.

…………………. (Just crying…there’s no words…is there.)…………….

***

It’s never felt like this.

I think it was around eleven when I lost my fight with sleep and I wake up without screaming, without Cliff trying to rip my soul apart in my nightmares. For one of the first times in my memory I woke up.

With a smile on my face.

Alex has his arm around me and he’s totally out of it, he has his own nightmares and just how long has he gone without sleeping like a human being…likely before the accident maybe…just some little kid scared to death of mommy not waking up.

His hand is just sort of resting on my stomach and it just feels good to be safe, loved, held. I can’t help but smile…I think anyone would.

I feel the sunshine coming in and it’s not in out eyes yet but it’s warm, it feels clean on my skin. I can’t help but hold my arm out into the beams of it falling on the bed and wiggle my fingers in the sunshine like someone else might do in snow. I’ve never actually taken the time to feel the sun, to really experience it.

More smiles…the clock says; 8:19.

The longest I’ve ever slept in my life with out drugs or being beaten nearly to death.
It’s sad but a happy thing all at the same time. I wonder if I’ll ever not have my life tinged by my past.

I guess there’s a bitter sweetness to my smiles.

I slip out of bed very carefully and as soon as I’m upright the bathroom calls. I’ll spare the details. But I exit cleaned and lotioned and all my usual stuff and I watch Alex sleep for a bit. I slip out to the kitchenette and start making breakfast. Bacon first then I peel an onion and take the box grater and grate it into a bowl then I wash off two large baking potatoes and grate them into the bowl too skins and all. I add salt and pepper and set it aside as I take out some eggs and start making toast.

The eggs go into another pan and as soon as the bacon’s out and draining I pour the grated mixture into the bacon pan for hash browns. I got so into what I was doing I didn’t notice Alex was up until his arms were wrapping around me and he kissed my neck.

I felt like the sun just came into the kitchenette and wrapped me up in light.

“Nothing makes a good as an alarm clock as bacon.” He snuggle murmurs into my neck. Even as sore as I am I lean into him and his arms tighten around me and he smells my hair.

The next bit really has to be one of the best moments of my life. We cook breakfast together. And yeah we’re touchy and feely and all sorts of two people in love but I don’t care. We’re cooking together and kissing and at no point does Alex’s arm leave me. He switches abut more often than not he’s able to just reach in from of me he’s that big and we do things as a team, together as one. I’ll never forget him holding both of my hands with the pan with the hash browns and showing me how to flip it over. It’s all cooked together and brown and crispy and perfect.

Just like our morning is perfect.

Like drinking coffee from the same great big giant mug is perfect.

I’m happy and smiling the whole morning and even kiss Alex at the garage door as he takes off for his morning run.

Adam’s car isn’t in the garage or the driveway but the Cadillac still is. I stand for a few minutes nervous as hell before I press the doorbell.