Sweet Dreams-11...Am I in a daydream?

Chapter 11

Adam was being as much a douchebag as I though he was going to be. But I’ll get back to that later. The rest of the day had gone pretty well with me getting out of school and headed over to my job where Hali and I talked and stopped and had a proper cuppa.

Anyway work was actually cool and I actually learned a lot of stuff about fashion but not just the better points of how to put together a look but of what is exactly classic and vintage and the differences of both and how to put things together in a look or an outfit.

Hali also carried a lot of clothing for the Arabic to Indian female sets but not that too old fashioned stuff or too fancy stuff but just kind of that good looking everyday stuff that she had grown up with at home.

She also sold some stuff from small apartment or in home suppliers here in the city and had a lot of great things here like the bangles and cuffs and necklaces all home made and mostly each one were unique.

It wasn’t all wow oh my good cool stuff like learning the sizes and then how to use the cash and point of sales machine and opening boxes of new stock and pricing it. She prices by eye and personal knowledge so I actually ended up bothering her more than I liked. I hate not knowing stuff.

Alex came and brought a snack along with some coffee for the three of us down from wired and we talked about school and my teachers him giving me the dirt on the ones he knew stuff about and me telling him about the stuff I’ve been learning to do here.

I got to look around the music store and comic shop while he was finishing up his shift and we drove home. Home? God that seems strange that I’m living here. No not living here as Adam’s there when we get home and I see him standing out on the front steps of his house and not the garage sipping a coffee and smoking a cigarette while we pull in. he gives us this hard superior stare while he watches us pull in and there’s this slight smirk like he owns the universe and he knows it.

He’s really staring at me.

I stare back remembering.

“So how was school?” He asks. Silky smooth, calm, just this hint of snide. He looks me up and down while he takes a sip of his coffee eyes critical.

Alex just stares at him and does this mumble, tensed up hunch. “Fine…” Then starts to open the trunk and dig out his football bag sling it over his shoulder and shut the car trunk pretty hard. I look at Adam who looks at me.
“Oh school was fine actually, had a great day. But yesterday was off to a rocky start. Alex and I ended up getting tailgated by these two Really, Really stupid guys but it wasn’t really anything. I mean just in case I’ve got their pictures…Just in case y’know they were like going to try something but It was just some random thing I think and I doubt we’d ever run into them again.”

He stares at me again but this time his eyes narrowed. I stare at him back. Yeah Adam you might be some high paid lawyer and you think you’re a badass but you’re not. I’m from worse stuff than you’d ever be able to imagine.

We keep it up for several seconds. He takes a drag off his smoke and another sip of his coffee his eyes never leaving mine. I reach into my jacket and take out a smoke of my own and light up. I don’t break eye contact with him either. It’s that what’s tougher and meaner him being the big bad wolf or me the veteran dogfight pit-bull.

We keep it up until he’s done his smoke and his coffee and doesn’t really have a reason to be outside anymore. He puts the butt into this fake rock like container full of sand the leaves heading inside. “Have a good night Hunter.”

“You too sir.” I use sir, I show that much respect. I’m not going to go all gutter trash on him even if that’s the way that he sees me. There’s no real respect in it though I’m just saying the words. I don’t really put much emotion into them actually.

I butt out me smoke and put it into the fake rock thing. Yeah I could be that paranoid to hide everything and try to not leave DNA around but that’s actually pretty impossible so I’m not going to worry about it. The biggest thing he might get is that I’m a guy so…I’ll deal with that bridge when he decides to throw me off of it.

I go inside and to the bathroom and use some toothpaste and mouthwash. I really should quit smoking. I’m not a heavy smoker but I’ve been doing it for years. It’s an appetite suppressant and it does do something for/to your nerves even if it’s a psychosomatic thing. Smoking has helped me cope with a lot of shit in my life. But y’know on the other hand Alex doesn’t smoke and we’ve been kissing and it kind of makes me feel self conscious about kissing him. Yeah kissing an ashtray would be really sexy, a great turn on.

Wait…I stop brushing…do I really want Alex turned on?
Great I’m right back to that argument with myself in my head.

I get out and Alex is making supper. He’s got a wok out and he’s frying up spices and bits of orange and lemon peel in it then he puts ground chicken and Italian sausage he’s got out of the casing and stirring it up. Then garlic and red onion and parsley and then a can of chic peas finishing it off with something called Bulgar? And rice and Zatar?

We eat it with pitas he rubbed with olive oil and sesame seeds then cut into triangles the baked in the oven. I’m surprised at just how good it is and how much of it I eat, it’s actually kind of light and there’s a salad that’s just cucumber, tomato, and parsley with the juice from an orange squeezed over that. We do our homework as we eat and he’s also cleaning up his padding with some sprays and stuff but his other stuff too. I’m still surprised at how good a student he is. It’s hard to remember he a jock by force.

I’m about to start my stuff on the computer when I remembered that little sneaky thought I had about Adam. I start going through the system and looking in all those places on the hard- drive where you’d install and hide a nasty little piece of spyware. Actually he had several including the ones that record your keystrokes.

Do I tell Alex?
I mean I could just deal with this and let him not stress over this. But no, I want whatever this is to be honest. “Alex?”

“Mmn, yeah?” he’s got his head in one of his Advanced English Lit. books. Uhm…he’s normally very bite my lower lip hot and stuff but wow or maybe even ow…smart is sexy. I close my eyes and take a breath turning back to the screen and cough. He says “Oh sorry just a good page.”

“S’okay but…I found that your dad has a bunch of spyware of your computer.” I look over to him.

He’s looking at me. “Like what and just what does he know?”

“Everything honey….” Oh shit I just called him…

Alex get’s up and grabs the couch and drags it over one handed to use the arm of it to sit beside me. “Everything?” he’s looking at me with this kind of hurt violated look. It hurts to see that kind of hurt and pain in his eyes.

“Yeah, three or four different kinds plus a text logger and even something to look at you through your web-camera.” I give him this I’m sorry look. He closes his eyes and he looks kicked.

“That explains why I keep losing my memberships to the art sites and why I never heard back from any of the schools I’ve e-mailed.” His voice is in that tight I’m not going to cry place.

“Yeah, if he can do this then he can intercept your e-mails too.”

“Fuck…” It’s not even an angry curse it’s worn out hurt. It’s got a lot of why bother in it. I grew up in a cloud of why bother. I look at him and pull him close with one hand and I kiss him. It’s kind of long and it’s deep and there’s the fact that I care about him in there, I hope it’s in there. I want it there so he can feel it.

“I can fix this, I know computers Alex I can fix this.” I’m determined to fix this besides Alex needs me and he ‘s looking at me like no ones ever looked at me before with this hurt little kid being told that it’s going to be alright. It’s that damned look that a puppy or kitten gives you when you take them home from a shelter. It’s melting me and breaking my heart at the same time.

Still me and girly macho I push him away from me in after a kiss. “Go, you got stuff to do and you can make me a pot of coffee okay, this is going to take me awhile.”

He moves the couch back and goes to make me a pot of that French press brewed stuff and I start getting into it. I’m not a hacker, I’m not that good but I’m pretty good with this home computer and sneaky stuff. Plus I’m kind of mad and really determined too. Alex deserves better than this. I’m here and I’m not going to make Adam and his fuck head power games ruin Alex’s life any more than they’re already done so. The sweet look he gives me with each cup of coffee and those little looks he sneaks ay me as he’s doing his homework really make this all worth it.

Really caring about someone and wanting to take care of them and to really want to make their life better is a new thing to me. It’s a really powerful thing too. I’m starting to love the fact that every coffee comes with a long sweet kiss from him. I don’t draw it out either and it’s twenty-five after midnight when I’m finally done. His computer and all his accounts have been purged and I’ve reformatted things and reinstalled his programs and added my own that I’ll be using and put back his accounts on the three art sites he was a member of and farcebook and twitcher all under new names and passwords and new e-mails all with really good password protections on several levels and I actually go over some of the stuff from my computer classes. I make a mental note to talk to some of the guys in class and maybe at the computer store near work and see if I can’t get better done and maybe a few other things.

I’m reading stuff from my classes and leaning on my elbow and blinking at the screen when Alex kisses my neck. “That’s enough, C’mon let’s go to bed.” That sort of wakes me up and I power everything down and unhook the net connection from the port just as a real sure fire way of keeping us from getting hacked. I’m going to do that for awhile when we’re not online just in case. I wouldn’t put it past Adam to hire a specialist if her hired the two jerks the there day.

My paranoia is disturbed by Alex picking me up in his arms and carrying me off to bed. I’m too tired to be freaked out too much by this and I sort of in that sleepy trance get out of my clothes and into the bathroom. Taking off my make up wakes me up and the shower does too for a bit but as soon as I’m in my pajamas, panda bears on a light green bamboo forest print I’m yawning again. I slip into bed and I fall into a deep sleep as Alex’s shower hits me with that effect of falling rain.

I wake a little bit as his weight hits the bed and he slides under the covers with me and we kiss a few more times. I’m embracing Hunter, William’s no longer here anymore…I like kissing Alex. I’m not sure why but I do. I really like it and can’t keep the sigh of just…I don’t know how to call it but it’s the feeling I’m getting when his arms wrap around me and I snuggle into his bare chest and I fall quickly asleep to the sounds of his breathing and his heartbeat.

***
When I wake up in the morning I notice two things. One, if I dreamt or had nightmares last night I can’t remember if I did. And two; is the fact that I can feel Alex’s morning wood pressing into me, sort of against my groin and my lower abdomen.

I’m so not sure of what I should do?

I mean we barely know each other but since when has that ever stopped somebody nowadays. I like kissing him and everything and we’re sharing a bed together…I just kind of lay there and try and think about it. Just who is Hunter and is she straight, gay, bisexual. I know I’ve been attracted to both sexes.

Maybe I’m over thinking this right?

I bite my lip and reach down and slip my hand into his underwear and try to wrap my hand around it. I can’t do that all the way. My god he’s big. I swear he and I are two different species. How the hell can he have something like that? I though that was reserved for like y’know those porn freaks. I start to stroke him, trying to get used to the idea and the feel and it’s really awkward. I’m feeling all this heat from it as his blood is pounding through it and I can feel that too a bit like I can feel his pulse through his…I’m right on the edge of freaking myself out then he moans. He’s still in that sleep fog my brain isn’t working yet state but he moans, in that this feels goo moan and he pushes with his hips, it ramps up the excitement of this more and more. But nothing like hearing that gaspy, thready, needy masculine moan of “Hunter….”

My nipples get hard at that and so did another part of me. And there was like this switch in my brain that went off and I get really into it, into him and I kind of end up dry humping the sheets, grinding into the bed and when he lets loose his…y’know…I’m not that far behind. We both ended up calling out each other’s names and making a mess out of the sheets.

We save water by showering together plus it’s easier for doing the wash. I’ve never been washed by anyone before and we end up doing that again mostly because of soaping each other up and the fact that we just did that in the bedroom and there’s still this excitement to it. I was a little freaked when Alex reached down and stroked me off. It felt good, way better than my own efforts ever did and I didn’t freak out too badly, actually it wasn’t like the hottie from the porn store. After awhile I actually got into what he was doing to me with his hand.

It was till awkward drying off and stuff and looking at each other. He actually kissed me before taking off for his run. “Thank you, you didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to. I did, I was curious but I wanted to.”

“You seemed scared?”

“I was, I am. Alex I don’t know what this is, I don’t know what I am or what I’m feeling or how to make heads or tails out of it.”

“Me too Hunter, I don’t know where you fit into the me that I thought I was. Now I find myself here with you and the fact I love kissing you and being with you and holding you when everything I’ve grown up with says otherwise…I’m scared too.”

“Good, then we can both freak out together?”

“Yeah together. I’m not sure about a lot of this Hunter but I’m sure of a few things.”

“And those are?”

“I need you. I need you in my life and I’ve never let anyone that close. And that I’ve never felt for anyone as much as I feel about you.”

He kissed me and wraps his arms around me and lifts me even off my feet as he does and this is a kiss like you’d see in the movies. I swear the rest of the world does this three sixty camera swing around us. He set’s me down and heads off for that insane run he puts himself through and I’m leaning against the doorway hugging it kind of stunned because.

The thought that if he wanted me…like y’know…I’d probably want him too.

And I’m not sure just what the hell that means about me?