Previously…

The next morning, I awoke to sunlight streaming through the window. The bell rang for a while and I could hear the stirrings of the school waking up. Somehow, I felt better. I still grieved for my mum and felt a guilt that was real, even though I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn’t really to blame for my mother’s death. It was just one of those things. No, I had decided that I had to get on with my life and make the best of things as they were.

I got out of bed and looked out of the window. It was a bit misty and I could see a few rabbits gambolling about on the lawns and over in the distance, someone running around a lake that I had somehow missed from yesterday. The noises grew louder as the school woke up.

I smiled, realising that I would be able to make the most of things here. First though, I needed a uniform–so that I could get around downstairs, hopefully without being questioned–and a girl-name: I thought Bryony would be appropriate. I also needed as much knowledge as I could find out about the teachers, classes and everything that made the school tick. I would have to find someone who could be a friend, without, of course, giving myself or my secret away.

A lot to do, but first, when everyone had gone into breakfast, I would have to find a uniform that fitted me. It shouldn’t be too difficult–after all, I was an experienced thief.

And now the story continues…

I heard a bell ringing and the stampeding of feet, and realised straight away that the girls were going to breakfast. I was hungry myself but that would have to wait because I had other matters to attend to first, so I would just have to ignore my grumbling tum.

I could hardly expect that I wouldn’t be seen if I wandered around so I needed to be very careful or some interfering busybody would be wondering, one–why I wasn’t at breakfast and later lessons and two–why wasn’t I wearing a uniform?

I got dressed quickly. It still felt a bit strange wearing a dress, but alarmingly it didn’t bother me that much now. I was an actor, pretending to be somebody that I was not. People wear fancy dress, well this was my fancy dress and I wasn’t going to worry my head over it as I had a job to do and not much time to do it.

I finger-combed my hair, mentally noting that I needed to ‘borrow’ a hair brush and other personal items like a flannel, tooth brush and things like that.

Checking myself in the mirror, I still could not believe how girl-like I now looked and the spitting image of my mum when she was younger. I sighed, not wanting to think about my mum and getting all upset again. I had to try to concentrate on what I needed to do now.

I had no idea how long I had before breakfast finished. I needed to go and get the things I wanted and return to my room before anyone spotted me. Unlocking and then opening the door, I poked my head out. The floors were uncovered wood, so I would have heard anyone coming, but I was taking no chances.

The way was clear so I just closed the door behind me and locked it. It was my room now and I had hidden what few things that I had–including the money. The last thing I wanted was someone going into the room and realising that it was being used. I was carrying my shoes because I didn’t want to clomp on the wooden floors up there.

I reached the end of the corridor, stopped for a moment to put my shoes on–the buckles were a bit fiddly and for some reason my hands were shaking–then went down the short flight of stairs and opened the door a crack. There was no one about as I scanned the corridor, so I went through, closing the door behind me; then I proceeded down the corridor, stopping at the first door which was a dormitory. I poked my head around the door and as there was no one around, I went to the first bed, by the side of which was a clothes cupboard. I opened the door, smiling that it wasn’t locked. What a trusting lot these public schoolgirls were!

There were photos Selotaped to the inside of the door of several pop stars like Paul McCartney and Cliff Richard–girls eh?

Then, looking at the clothes I noticed that they were all for someone much bigger than me. I said a rude word, shut the cupboard door, then made my way out of the dormitory. After checking that the coast was clear, I went next door.

I picked a cupboard at random and opened up the door. This was more like it, the clothes looked more my size, which–let’s face it–was small, verging on the puny–probably, I estimated, the equivalent of an eleven-year-old. Then I had a look in several other wardrobes and they all contained similar clothes.

It would have raised suspicion had I taken things from just one of the wardrobes, so I did some unofficial shopping and took things from several, hoping that the girls wouldn't notice, then put the clothes on a bed. I checked the door and saw that there was still no one around so I went back in and to the bed to see what my haul, looked like.

There were two navy-blue gym tunics–pinafore dresses¹–a number of white blouses, three other non school dresses, some coloured blouses, skirts, cardigans an overcoat and raincoat. I didn't have much time, so after holding one of the gym tunics up against me, I could see that it would probably fit, with luck. I put it in my bag together with one of the blouses, a plain black skirt and a peach coloured dress, also I put in the raincoat as I needed to stay dry if I had to go out into the rain for something. Then I put the rest of the clothes back in the cupboards–hopefully in the right ones–but it didn’t really matter if they weren’t, as it might add to the confusion if anything was said about the missing clothes. I was hoping that they might think that it was all part of a joke or something; wasn’t I a devious person?

In the drawers beneath one of the cupboard were some underclothes, so I took a small selection of knickers, a few pairs of knee high white socks and a long cotton nightdress, in case I had to be out at night 'sleepwalking' or something. Also there was a pair of pink slippers, once again to help with my nocturnal expeditions for food and suchlike…

I heard a bell go in the distance and wasted no more time and put the clothes in my bag and hurried back down the corridor and up the stairs to what I now considered to be my room and temporary home.

When I arrived at the door, seemingly all fingers and thumbs, I fumbled with the key and dropped it in my haste to get in. The key clattered on the floor and I thought that the noise would wake the dead!

I stopped for a moment and listened. I could hear nothing and then the sound of hundreds of feet seemingly coming my way. Without wasting any more time, I picked up the key pushed it into the keyhole, turned it and opened the door.

In a moment, I was inside and had slammed it shut and locked it in one quick desperate movement.

My breath came in gasps, almost as if I had run a marathon. I listened for sounds of people coming near where I was, but all the sounds were coming from downstairs and not the floor I was on.

Going over to the bed, I sat down; that was too close for comfort. I would be an old woman–I mean man–before I was fourteen at this rate.

I lay down on the bed and thought things through. It was odds on that I would be caught out if I wasn’t careful. It was really important that I learnt how things were around here before going out on the off chance.

I would spend a lot of the day in this room and note down the times when there were people about legitimately. I was quite hungry but knew the dangers of wondering around the school during daytime without being caught. If this place was anything like my old school, prefects and teachers not on duty would prowl around looking for wayward pupils. Mind you, this being a posh public school, they may not do that here–although, I didn’t want to find out the hard way.

Another bell sounded and there was more noise, laughter and the sounds of girls running all over the place. This school was far from quiet.

After a minute all seemed quiet again. I looked out of the window carefully. From my high vantage point I could see a lot of the school grounds from here. There were extensive lawns leading down to a lake. To one side of the lake was a boathouse and outside stacked up were canoes, sailing dinghies and some rowing boats.

To the left of where I was, were some playing fields, a running track and a large playground. As I watched some girls in gym slips with red and blue sashes came out from an entrance over to the left of me and ran towards the playing fields. They were carrying hockey sticks and there was a lot of laughing and giggling, they were accompanied by a youngish teacher in a track suit and her hair in a ponytail.

Then some more girls in bathing suits and life jackets went towards the lake. It was lucky that it was still September, or I would have thought that it would be a bit chilly if they got dunked in the water.

For what seemed ages I watched the girls on the playing fields and on the water. I smiled somewhat sadly, feeling very envious that they were able to be in a position to really enjoy themselves while others like me had to struggle to survive.

Eventually, I turned away and had a look at the clothes that I had ‘borrowed’.

It was a start, but I would need more clothes, I realised that. I tried on the school uniform, struggling a bit with the buttons on the blouse that were, to me anyway, the wrong way round.

Once I had donned the blouse, I tried the gym tunic which was much easier to put on as it was just a question of putting it over my head and putting my arms through the arm-holes.

Looking in the mirror, I thought that I looked like any of the girls that I had seen outside. The uniform was slightly big for me, but not too bad at all. I smiled shyly, I was sure I would be able to blend in. My first test would be at lunch time when I would chance going to see where I could grab a bite to eat. There would, I hoped, be safety in numbers and I would try my best to be the model pupil and get some food, eat it and disappear back up to my lair. Then, later on I would do the same at tea time. Tonight, I had decided, I would do some serious looking around to get a better idea of where everything was and how I could take advantage of that knowledge.

~ §~

I changed out of my school uniform–funny that, ‘my school uniform’ and changed back into my original dress.

I spent the rest of the morning either watching the girls at play or just lying on my bed. To tell you the truth, I was bored half the time and worried the rest about how I was going to manage and what lay in the future for me.

Laying there, looking up at the plain white, slightly cobwebbed ceiling, I wondered what was happening back at ‘home’.

Had mum been buried yet? No, she had only died yesterday and they may have to do one of those post-mortem things on her. The thought of her being cut up made me feel a bit sick so I tried to take my mind off it.

I wondered if I anyone was searching for me. It was probable as everyone knew that mum had a son and let’s face it, I was well known in the area. Then there was the 999 phone call. It didn’t take rocket science to realise that I was missing. Percy Pointer was probably sticking his long nose into things and telling anyone who would listen how I had kicked him in his crown jewels and then ran off.

The choice I had made to hole up in the school was a good one. I looked nothing like I had as a boy and was in a place in which no boy of my age would be seen dead. I got up and went to the window again, smiling as I saw the girls laughing and giggling in their canoes and occasionally getting a soaking when they capsized. There were plenty of teachers about too and I noticed that apart from one sporty type in a track suit, they were all women.

It was strange but the teachers all looked rather nice and weren’t shouting and screaming at the kids all the time. This was a stark contrast to my old school where no one ever smiled, least of all the teachers.

Below me was a gravelled path along which I could see a few girls strolling. They stopped just below where I was and I pulled down the sash window carefully so as to not make a noise. I strained to hear what they were saying.

‘So, Cynth, what do you think?’

‘I don’t know, maybe we can have a dorm party tonight as Melissa has had a parcel from her people. There were lots of delish things in it from what I could see when she let me have a peep.’

‘Like what?’

‘Well, she has biscuits, chocolate, cakes, some lemonade, all things like that.’

‘Sounds delish, mind you she can be a bit of a hoarder, our Melissa.’

‘Well, we can always jump on her head!’ They both giggled and moved on.

I went back and sat on my bed. Their posh accents were interesting, I hadn’t thought about that. I would have to sound like them for me to blend in.

My normal voice would give me away, even though it hadn’t broken, but I was lucky in as much as I was a good mimic. It had helped a bit at my own school where I could impersonate some teachers, pupils and television stars to make the bullies laugh rather than hit me. It didn’t always work, but it did sometimes.

‘Oh Stephanie, don’t be beastly.’ I said quietly in my best posh girl-type voice. It was a bit too shrill, high and unnatural to my ears, so I lowered and modulated the tone slightly–it sounded much better and more natural all ‘jolly hockey sticks and Horlicks before bedtime’. I would have to listen to some of the girls talk a bit more before I would be happy with my new voice. Maybe, I could pick up some more at lunch?

Lunch; that reminded me how hungry I was. I hadn’t eaten much in the last couple of days and my tummy was grumbling rather a lot; It was lucky I was well away from the other girls or my rumblings would have given me away. I would just have to wait.

Eventually the bell went. It was one o’clock and that appeared to be the time for lunch. I swiftly changed back into uniform, put on my shoes, brushed my hair and sallied forth as they say in books.

I made my way along the corridor, down the stairs and opened the door at the bottom–just a crack. There were three girls just coming out of a dormitory and walking away from me. I came through the door, closing it quietly behind me and followed them at a distance. They were so busy giggling and talking, they had no idea that I was following them. Why do girls giggle like that? You wouldn’t hear a boy giggle, it sounds stupid!

On the next floor down, there were more girls–lots more and I just joined the general throng heading downstairs. No one paid any attention to me. I was good at blending into the background and not being noticed and that suited me down to the ground.

There was a great deal of chatter and babble–they all had a sort of plummy voice, but some had slight northern accents, other’s sounded like they came from the west country and I swear that I could hear the smattering of Scottish and Welsh in there somewhere. I took it all in, trying to absorb how they spoke and the kind of things they talked about. The younger ones seemed to like shouting, giggling and generally making as much noise as possible about how Amanda was in detention and how Julie pulled Claire’s hair in prep, whatever that was. The older ones seemed to like discussing boys, men, fashion, pop stars, makeup and clothes–and more boys.

All this was very interesting and I filed it all away for future reference. Being, by looks anyway, about eleven, I was more interested in those girls and what they did and said, rather than the older ones.

Very soon I found myself in a large hall with a huge ceiling and lots of tables dotted around to the right and left in a sort of cafeteria style layout where the girls grabbed a tray and went along choosing what they wanted as they went down the line. There were a number of catering staff behind the counter, dishing out the food. I just joined the queue behind a girl about my age.

‘What would you like, dearie,’ the lady in white behind the counter asked the girl in front.

‘Sausages and chips please.’

‘There you are dearie,’ she said as a plate was handed to her and the girl moved on.

‘How about you dearie?’

‘Can I have the same please?’ I asked.

To my ears, I sounded all right and the lady didn’t throw up her hands in horror and shout ‘fraud’ so I assumed that I was doing okay, accent wise–gosh, this was such fun!

I carried on down the counter, received an apple crumble with custard and then finally some orange squash and then picked up some cutlery and went over to a corner with my tray where there were a number of empty tables.

The place was filling up rapidly and the sound of girlish voices increased. There were a few teachers or dinner ladies dotted around the room and I naturally steered well clear of them when I had chosen the place to sit. In fact it was a rather good place as it was quite near a pot plant with large leaves that hid a lot of the room from me and vice versa.

I was just about to bite into a juicy sausage when a girl came up to the table, she looked about twelve.

‘Is this taken?’ She asked.

‘Erm, yes, I’m waiting for my friends to come–sorry.’

She looked disappointed, shrugged and moved off down the room.

I felt bad about that. Maybe like me she was new. Mind you, at least her parents, who I bet were Mummykins and Daddykins, cared for her enough to pay for her education. Mine weren’t bothered either way, leastwise lately, that is. Mum had been proud of me once and when I received a book as a prize in my junior school, she looked really happy then.

Looking around constantly, I was trying to take in and mimic what the girls were doing. Girls, I realised were vastly different from boys in the way they talked, acted and presented themselves. Girls seemed to like touching a lot, arms, hands, you name it. If a girl saw a friend, they hugged. What boy in his right mind would do that?

All this touchy-feely stuff was making me feel a bit sick, but not sick enough to put me off my food. Soon I had eaten my fill and I didn’t waste much time and went out of the dinner room–or refectory as I had learnt it was called–and began to make my way back upstairs.

‘You, girl.’

My heart leapt into my mouth as I turned around to be met with a rather stern looking lady in black robes of a teacher.

‘Where are you going?’

‘Erm, up to the d…dorm, Miss.’

‘For what reason?’

‘’T—t-t—to get my hankie, Miss.’

‘Hankie, hankie? The word is handkerchief; young girls of today are always trying to shorten words–I can’t abide sloppy speech. You know that you are not allowed in the dormitories at lunchtime. Get a tissue or something from one of your friends and then go out and get some fresh air.’

‘Yes, Miss.’ I squeaked going down three steps and moving past her.

‘What is your name?’ she demanded as I passed her.

‘Lucinda Davenport.’ I replied with the first posh name I could think of, Lucinda sounded posher than Bryony–I must be becoming a snob, maybe I could be Lucinda Bryony Davenport.

‘You are new, I see, well I’ll let it pass this once, but detention next time, all right?’

I just nodded.

Then she smiled and she looked a lot less forbidding.

‘Cut along then.’

I cut.

~ §~

When I ventured outside, I didn’t hang about but ran off down the path and hid behind a hedge, sitting down and then catching my breath. It didn’t look strange, my running off like that as lots of the girls were running around and letting off steam. I was just making sure that I kept out of their way.

I wasn’t the only girl by to be alone; some were lying down on the grass reading or just daydreaming. Others were just wandering about, no doubt happy in their own company. I noticed that one of the girls by herself was the one that asked if she could sit at my table. I wondered if she was new or a loner. I knew all about loners, I had been one all of my life. I had never been good at making friends even though I was a bit of a comedian and comic. My small stature had always picked me out as one who could be tormented.

~ §~

I stayed put until the bell rang and everyone went indoors. I made sure I wasn’t observed as I made my way upstairs and back to the safety of my room. I had had a nice lunch and learned a few things in the mean time. I knew where to go for meals and that I had to go out with the others at break time. I had seen that not all the girls stayed together, some liked to be by themselves which suited me down to the ground. I wanted to be that girl who people recognised as being part of the school. If I could do that without making waves, that would be all right with me.

Now I knew the way of things, I took a chance about an hour later and stole out of my room again and went downstairs to the dormitories. The corridor was empty and there was no one about as I presumed that everyone was beavering away in lessons–rather them than me!

I went to the first dorm, where the bigger girls slept and over to the cupboard that I had tried that morning. Opening it, I looked at the inside of the door again. In amongst all the pin-up’s there was a timetable. I had a look in one of the girls’ drawers and found a pencil and note paper. I took them out and jotted down the times of breakfast, lunch, tea, and high tea as well as all the other breaks during the day. I noted that lights out was at nine pm for the older kids and eight o’clock for the younger ones. The fourth, fifth and sixth years were able to stay up until ten thirty —lucky things.

I replaced everything where I found it and then left, noting that there was a newspaper in the waste paper basket. I took it out, as it would be something to read later, and then went into the younger girls’ dormitory. I had a hunch that these were new girls, mainly from the fact that all the clothes seemed new and the place seemed stuffed full of stuffed animals–well an exaggeration as they were on the kids’ pillows.

I rifled through a few drawers. There was a small amount of money in some but I left that. I did take a flannel, some soap, a tooth brush still in its packet and some toothpaste from the bottom of one of the drawers though, hoping that by the time it was discovered, I would be long gone.

I thought whilst doing all this that I might get away with a few clothes and other things missing; that, I hoped, could be put down to laundry mistakes and the likes, but if I stole valuables, the place would be humming with people trying to find out who the pilferer was.

Eventually, at the bottom of a cupboard, I found what I was after–a pamphlet about the school. It was one that was obviously given to new girls as it said ‘Welcome to our school,’ on the front. I wasted no more time and took it out and added to the newspaper. Then I saw that there was a shelf full of books. I went over and picked out a couple at random–more things to read while I was waiting about in my own “dormy”, as I had heard some of the girls saying. I liked reading; it took me away from my worries and problems.

I put my head around the door and as the way was clear, I hurried upstairs to my room, locking the door behind me. After putting the things on my bed, I went to the window. I could see more girls out on the playing fields and running track, although the lake was empty.

It seemed that this school was very sporty. My school played football in the winter and cricket in the summer, although it wasn’t much good with either. It took teachers that cared and pupils who were enthusiastic, to produce the sort of school spirit to make a success of games. This school compared to my old one was poles apart in that respect and once again, I felt jealous of the girls here. Even the uniforms were clean and smart here, compared with the ones at my old school, where appearances didn’t seem to matter much.

As things were quiet and I knew that, as I would hear anybody approaching from the sound of their shoes on the wooden stairs that led up to this floor, I was pretty safe from being surprised.

I think that this floor had either been used by servants in years gone by or as dormitories at one time. I needed to use the toilet rather badly, both number one and number two, as mum used to say, so I wondered if there was one on this floor as I didn’t really want to go where I might be seen, too often. I therefore took my shoes off, to stop the clonking, put the pink slippers on, which were nice and soft and comfortable, even though I didn’t think that pink was my colour and then went down the corridor to have a look-see.

There were several rooms on either side that looked similar to the one I was staying in. Some were empty and others had old furniture, beds and other items in there. I reached the end where there was a door in front of me. I opened it and smiled. Lady Luck was on my side as it was a bathroom with lots of sinks and toilet cubicles. I quickly went over to one cubicle and opened the door, wrinkling my nose as it hadn’t been used in a while and the water down the toilet looked a bit off. I was lucky that there was still some Izal toilet paper on a toilet paper holder and I used it to wipe the seat before sitting down. I sighed with relief as I went and thanked my lucky stars that I had found somewhere where I could go without waking up the whole school.

I pulled the chain and worried a bit as it the cistern was bit noisy and clanky. A few heart-stopping moments later, all was quiet again. As I had heard no stampeding of feet, I think that this time I had got away with it. Next time I pulled the chain, I would make sure that there were plenty of background noises first!

~ §~

Studying the details that I had written down from the timetable, high tea was at a quarter to seven and it was soon that time. The bell had gone several times in the afternoon and as I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t go down to tea, which was at four.

I put on my uniform again and as soon as the noises began I went downstairs. Peeping around the door, I did a double take as no one was wearing a uniform. They were dressed in ordinary dresses for the main part or skirts and blouses. I sneaked back up to my room and did a change so quick that Superman would have been proud–or would that be Superwoman?–the way I was now wearing the frock that I originally came here with. I didn’t wear my “new” dress that I had erm–“acquired”–just in case it was recognised by one of the gels.

Anyway, I went back out again and quickly made my way downstairs, once again following some other chattering and giggling girls–what is it with this giggling? I would have to practice even though it might make me choke!

I was up close behind some bigger girls as they entered the dining room and it wasn’t until I had taken several steps in that I saw that, rather than lots of individual tables, now there were four rows of them and all the girls were finding their way over and sitting down. I felt like a deer in headlights as nearly all the girls were seated. I had just turned around to bolt out the door and do my famous disappearing trick when someone grabbed my arm. Looking around, it was another lady smiling down at me.

‘Not sure where to go? Find an empty seat somewhere, there’s no ceremony here. New girls always have problems at first; you’ll soon get the hang of it.’

‘Thank you, Miss,’ I said with a slight tremble in my false posh voice.

‘Run along then, dear.’ she said.

I turned to my left and sat in the nearest seat between two girls about my age or younger. In front of me on the table, there was a soup plate on top and others underneath. With knives forks and spoons either side of the plates, silver by the look of them. They certainly didn’t go hungry here and Solly Worth would love this place; it was a fences dream!

One of the girls was speaking to someone across the table and the other one was spinning a spoon and looking a bit bored.

‘Hello,’ said the spoon spinner, glancing up and smiling, ‘not seen you here before, are you new like us?’

I looked at the girl. She was pleasant enough and was smiling.

‘Yes, I arrived yesterday, a bit late, ’coz I have only just got back from New York.’

‘Soooooper! I love New York. Did you have a fab time?’

‘Yes, it was great–erm–super.’

‘Did you go with your parents?’

I gulped for some reason, nearly starting to blub like a girl, but I got myself together and replied with the first thing that came into my head.

‘No, grandparents–it was a treat.’

‘Super. We must chat about it after. Did you go up the Empire State––?’

There was a clap of hands and a lady on the top table stood up; she had the look of a headmistress–so this was Amelia Molestrangler M.A. (Oxon), I bet she starched her knickers.

‘Girls–prayers.’

Looking around I could see that the others including my new ‘friend’ had closed their eyes and bowed their heads, I did the same–when in Rome…

‘For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful. Amen. O Lord, please protect and look after the poor child of Sharon Tranter. His name is Brian. He lost his mother in tragic circumstances not three miles from here. He is missing and Lord, we ask that you protect him and keep him safe from harm–Amen.’

I kept my eyes closed and didn’t look up. There was silence around the room for a moment and all I could hear was the sound of my tears falling on the soup plate in front of me––

To Be Continued...

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¹ Gym tunic, gymslip or pinafore dress: known as a “jumper” in the USA. In UK a jumper is a woolly pullover. Girls at boarding school often refer to their gym tunics as “gymmers”.

Please leave comments…thanks! ~Sue

My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.