My name is Keane Smith.
I like to sing.
I like going to bars with friends.
I did not know I would like the new life these pleasures introduced me to.

My name is Keane Smith and I had finished college with a degree in Computer Science and had a great job troubleshooting for a software company. My hours were very flexible and most of my time was spent working out of the office doing calls for other companies. This allowed me a great deal of independence to do some of the things I really enjoy. I have always loved to sing and with the ongoing craze of Karaoke bars I have been able to satisfy my passion. I have a slightly higher voice than most boys and always sang at church and in the chorus at high school. As a matter of fact, some of my friends from the chorus also enjoyed going out to the bars on Karaoke nights. It was fun just getting up to sing and some of the bars held monthly contests with some nice cash prizes. Nothing excites me more than when someone gets up sings a "knock me dead" song that just wows the audience. I have a very good voice and always get a nice small round of applause but never have been able to do that to an audience. I even tried to pick the bigger songs but somehow just never pulled it off. One night, I sang "Crazy" a big song from a great singer, Patsy Cline, and really thought I sang it great. Some of my friends saw my disappointment when I received my usual applause and tried to encourage me. Janet, my old friend from high school chorus, said something that really made me think. If you were a pretty girl up there doing that same song, you would have knocked them dead.

I dismissed the idea as daft, but at the back of my mind it added to previous comments, some well meant others cruel. Maybe my voice not breaking was the main thing that made me stand out, but my small thin frame was not a help when I was teased about being a weedy kid who could never make any team other than chess. But despite my worries that I was not your typical male I had had a few girlfriends who had appreciated my softer personality. Currently though I was just part of the group and was enjoying the option of being on my own or going to the bars for fun with friends and no ties.

So two weeks later, the comment Janet had made about 'Crazy' was fading but still sat there along with the gay and girlie comments from the past. We tried a new club, the host was an amazing drag queen; she/he could really get the audience going, and at times would make fun of the truly awful singers. Dan went up first and did a Queen number which went down well, then Janet tried a Spice Girls tune which was less successful. Next I went up to sing 'Dancing in the street' thinking of the Mick Jagger version, but when the music started it sounded wrong and in the wrong key, but as I listened, it did fit and I got into the song after a few lines. It was coming out like a Motown tune, which I later found out was where it was first recorded. Anyway by the end I had more or less got it, and to my surprise the crowd loved it, even the host praised my attempt and apologized for putting that backing track on, giving me a big hug and telling the bar to give me a drink on her.

This was all rather unexpected, good applause and a free drink, not bad for a half decent song. Later in the evening the host singled me out and asked if I would do the song again, I asked why, she said so I could give it a proper go, I asked which backing track, Motown off course she replied, apparently I have a good soul voice. Well that was news to me, but flattery will always turn me and I went to sing Dancing again, this time I was ready for it and knew what I was trying to sing, and nailed it. There are a few times something goes really well and this was one of those times. My friends cheered and the crowd clapped, then the host came and once again told me how good I was and suggested I was that nights best performance, which meant if no one else bettered me I would get a voucher for free drinks at the bar so my friends were hoping for rubbish singing from then on.
At the end of the evening I did indeed win the drinks voucher, which of course meant we had to return so we could claim the prize. So a week later I and some of the friendship group turned up at the bar to help me drink my prize. The drag queen hostess seemed thrilled that we were back, glad for some decent singers he said. With a few free drinks inside me it did not take much for me to be persuaded to do a Whitney Houston song, and later a Freda Paine song, Band of gold, another soul tune. Both of which I sang well but did need to push myself for the higher notes. At the end Dan won but it did mean we would be back to drink his winnings another night. What I did not expect was to be back on my own for a different reason.

April, well that was what he called himself when in drag, took me to one side after Dan had got his vouchers, and suggested I meet the bar owner, a big burly bloke called Pete. Being easy going I agreed to a time, when April was working and Pete would be around. So three days later I am in a scruffy back office after being offered a drink at the bar when I first entered. April has not changed yet and is looking very odd in sweat shirt and jogging pants with a baseball cap covering his hair. Pete is a big man who you could tell was used to getting his own way, though he did not seem at all threatening to me. April had obviously told his boss about me and the singing, and was telling him that he should hear me sing the soul classics, for a bloke I was great at the female tunes. I was a bit slow to catch onto where this was going and I virtually had to be told that with my voice and looks I would make a good understudy and assistant for April. At this point I got the nerves and started to explain how I only sang for fun, that karaoke was a game with friends, besides there was a strong hint that April's assistant would be in drag also. They thought I already knew that, but I was backing out of any commitment when Pete mentioned money. For an evening’s work he would pay me what I earned in two days on computers, and that was if I worked full days which was not very often as I get paid per job by the agency. He also offered to foot the bill for stage clothes and April would teach me about how to prepare myself, all I had to do was sing a few songs of an evening and help April with the hosting. Being a cautious sort of person who likes to think things through I asked if I could think about it. Their response, I had till Thursday as they needed to know if they should go with me or get a queen they knew but was a bit unreliable and did not sing as well as me. So I had two days to decide, what should I do?

I had two days to make my mind up, the money was tempting and getting paid to sing has always appealed, it was just the way in which I would have to achieve those things. I would have to dress as a woman, an over dressed woman at that, a parody if you like of them. I rang Janet who had made the comment all those weeks ago if she thought I could seriously go through with the proposal and do it well. Without a moments hesitation she told me I would be a fool to pass up the opportunity, not just for the money and the singing but to prove her right, that I could look the part and be a knock out with the Motown tunes, even 'crazy' if I had another go at it. Still wanting reassurance it was a good idea or support for it being a daft suggestion, I called round to possibly my oldest friend's flat, over a beer he listened to my dilemma. Then he quite matter of factly told me the good points outweighed the bad ones, of which he could only see one, which was I might get some teasing for the dressing up, but he knew I had put up with it before, he also confirmed that he was sure that I was a confirmed heterosexual, which made me feel a good bit stronger as that was one of the things troubling me, would wearing a dress make me gay. According to Steve it would not.

Decision made I rang the bar and told them of my decision, I am not sure what response I expected, but there was only bar staff on and they said they would take a message, I felt a little flat after all my hard thinking of the past days. That was Wednesday lunch time, I had to wait for eight o'clock that evening before I heard from the bar. Pete rang to tell me he knew I would do it and was surprised it had taken me so long to come back to him. I was to be at the bar for mid afternoon Thursday, April would sort me out with a costume and give me some instruction on makeup etc, then I could have a practice on Friday but I was to be there Saturday for my first performance. He finished by saying he knew I would be great and I had nothing to worry about, and he was looking forward to Saturday already.

Pete might have been looking forward to Saturday but I was not. I had said I would do it so I turned up mid afternoon on the Thursday to find the bar nearly empty, lunch time over and the pint on the way home drinkers not appeared yet. I told the woman behind the bar I was looking for April as I paid for my drink. Half an hour later April appears in jeans and t shirt, I was not sure what I was expecting but something more camp or feminine would have fitted my imagination. He took me to one side and chatted, making sure I was fully aware of what Pete and he would want me to do. I said I would give it a go, and if I was no good they should tell me before I can embarrass everyone including myself. April brushed my concerns aside telling me I was a natural. Then we got onto the costume, I had no idea what he was talking about, so took me through to a small room which doubled as his changing room among other things it seemed, judging by the various bits of equipment lying about. He held up a few of the dresses in front of me until he decided a sparkly blue one would be good. Then he started to get personal, asking about shaving and grooming. Suggesting that, I shave my legs and arms before Friday. And give myself a good shower, moisturizing after. Then he pulled out a few wigs, my short tight curly hair he said would be great for the Kirby grips to hold the wig to my hair and found a black one that might just be OK. Then he started to fuss over my skin color, apparently my dark skin would need different colors to the ones he used but looking at his watch told me he knew a shop where they would have supplies and would not be shut yet. So ten minutes later I am stood in a ladies hair salon having creams rubbed into my face to see if it is the right shade, and Ruby (the proprietor) telling me how she wishes cosmetic companies would realize black girls like make up just as much as white ones, but where is it in mainstream shops. I guessed a usual little rant for hers. But she made a good sale out of April, who told her I might well, be back for a nice head of hair if things went well. She replied that she already had in mind what would look good on me, I blushed for no reason I could think of, just embarrassed how these two talked about me I guess.
I stopped around so I could see how April prepared himself for the evening. It was all rather strange watching a man turn himself into a woman. First he undressed and put on some underwear, nothing like women wear, the bra was already filled with foam I guess, and the knickers were extra strong and took some getting right if the amount of rearranging he did with them was anything to go by. Next he sat in front of a mirror and applied his make up, then lifting a long white dress from the rack, slipped his body into it. Then he took out a long curly blonde wig and attached it to his head. Last he glued on some long nails which were already colored a sparkly pink. Forgot to tell you about the shoes, white narrow high heels. That about did it for me, I was expected to do all this; I was getting rather nervous that I could manage to cope with everything, but the shoes looked very uncomfortable indeed.

Friday I had one job that I cleared up easily, then went to file my jobs for the week so I could get paid for them, but all the time my mind was spinning with the thought that when I was finished I was going to go home and shave all over in preparation for my rehearsal. Now, I don't have much body hair and what little I do have will take ages to regrow, so it was with some regret that I stood in the shower and pulled a ladies razor up my leg, but having left a bald stripe up one I had to complete the rest or it would look very odd. After much careful shaving I stood in front of the mirror to check out the results, I looked the same but different, the main change was around the groin, April had said nothing about that area but I reckoned you never see women with hair showing outside bikini bottoms so I had trimmed my pubic hair into a neat V. I even strangely liked the shaved me.
It was when I dressed to go to the bar that I had my next revelation, my skin was so sensitive, my skin could feel the clothes without the hairy barrier, my jeans feeling very coarse but the cotton shirt was pleasingly soft. I arrived at six as agreed with April and this time found him dressed in a smart business suit, not a man's but that of a woman's. Blue with pink pinstripe and a pink silk blouse beneath it, and on his feet, heels. This was for some reason more the idea I had of how April would be dressed, and he did look every part a sexy lady. He swept me up and led me by the hand to the changing room. He was in a good mood and his mood spread to me as he felt my arms and complimented me on how smooth my skin was. Over the next hour April transformed me into his assistant. I had his spare bra clipped around my chest, then his 'gaff' which held everything down below out of sight. I was further complimented on my shaving when it was noticed how neat my panty line was. Then he painted my face, I can think of no other description for this as he spread colors over my skin. Then he fixed the long hair to my scalp with the Kirby grips and the new sensation of hair brushing my shoulders made my skin ticklish. My next new experience was putting tights on, rolling each leg up one at a time then smoothing the fine glossy fabric up my legs was very unusual to say the least. Next the dress, I had taken little notice of it besides the color when April had picked it out, but now as I climbed into it and pulled it up my body I could not help but notice the contrast between the outside material which was quite harsh as it seemed to have fine metal threads in it to give the sparkly look, and, the incredibly smooth lining which slid over my bare skin making it tingle. Once on I got a better look at what I was wearing after the rear zip had been pulled up. It had a high neck, flowing down to my new and to my eyes enormous bust, then pulled into my waist before hugging my hips, from here the lycra type fabric changed as the skirt flared out into what I can best describe as a short train. The skirt came nearly to the floor at the back but swept up the sides to reveal an awful lot of leg, the glossy tights showing themselves very clearly as I looked down. Now for the finishing touches April announced, big bangles on each wrist, big clip on ear rings, a couple of big rings for my fingers, then the moment I had been dreading the shoes. Me and April are not the same size, he is taller and bigger built than me, hence the stretchy dress fabric, but his feet are size 10 while mine a size 6 which he was envious off, apparently I would have a great choice of footwear and not just the specialist shops, I did not know whether to be pleased or not, but for this weekend he had borrowed a pair of shoes from a friend, white sling backs with holes for my toes to poke through, to my relief the heels were lower than I saw April wearing, but when I took my first steps I recognized they were nothing like my usual Nikes.

There being little space in the dressing room, April suggested I go into the corridor and practice walking about. It was on my own that I got a full sensory overload from what I was wearing. The shoes were making me walk carefully and with a bit of a sway as I balanced each step, this made the nylon around my legs rub, and the dress lining ride over my hips and chest in a luxuriously smooth caress while the length at the back of the skirt was brushing around my ankles, the hair was tickling my bare shoulders and entering my field of vision, all the time I could feel the bangles on my wrists and the ear rings tugging at my lobes. I was so full of new sensations that I forgot my doubts about whether this was a good idea or not, I was lost in the moment.

April seemed to be ready in no time at all coming out to disturb my reverie. He looked quite stunning in a full length halter neck dress with a side split to his panties, my first thought was 'very sexy' but then recoiled as I remembered this was not a woman I was looking at but a man. April was all business and took me onto the stage area to show me the equipment we would be using and where things were. It was now eight o'clock and things were getting busier, April took the background CD from the player and put in his choice which was more upbeat but singable tunes. Then after a slow walk to the bar for a soft drink and a chat with friends and regulars he got up on stage and started the evenings show. This being Friday it was mostly karaoke with the singers being encouraged or teased by April, but when there was no keen singer from the audience he got me to go up and sing Dancing in the street. Somewhere in that song I lost my Keane image of myself as I sang I imagined how I looked and sounded, and was portraying a soul singer from the 70s. My usual style is to just stand and sing as I would in a choir, but now I felt able to gesture with my hands and move my feet, I was acting a role of someone else and it was so liberating.

I mostly just stood at the back watching, coming on stage a few times to sing when it was quiet. Then at the end I was given the job of presenting the Karaoke voucher, April announced me as Kiki and sent me forward to present the prize to a not particularly good looking man, but a good singer none the less, I remembered what April had done when I won and gave the man a hug and a big kiss on the cheek before passing the card over. I could see he was a little awkward about being kissed by what he knew was a man, so as he parted I patted his arse and blew him a kiss, he squirmed some more but smiled back, he knew it was part of the show.

Then it was over, while the bar staff tidied up we sat and drank a very nice alcoholic lime drink while April ran over the evening’s highs and lows. He loved my singing, but maybe more movement, watch a DVD of a diva and see how they do it. Be a bit more on show, don't hide at the back when I was not doing something, go out and encourage the punters. Loved the presentation at the end, be saucy the customers love a bit of that; make the most of the ambiguity the drag queen role creates. I promised to try the following night, tonight had been a watch and learn mainly for me, and I had learnt a lot I assured him. Then it was off to clean up and get back to normal Keane clothes and back to my regular life.

But before that happened I got a completely new perspective on April. As I came out of the changing area having followed his instructions about cleansing make up and putting the costume away, I was met by the sexy image of April in business suit, minus the jacket and showing a now very revealing blouse, and smelling of a heady perfume. At about the same time a man I had seen in the bar came into the room and immediately took April in a long a passionate kiss. I just stood there like an awkward schoolchild not knowing where to look, eventually they broke their embrace and April introduced me 'Jason, this is Kiki my new girl' I smiled and said hello, Jason replied 'I have heard a lot about you, but when I saw you tonight I have to agree with April, you will be great' he leant over and kissed my cheek ever so gently, 'maybe you would like to join us?' April cut in at this 'No she wouldn't, you cheeky boy, tonight I want you all to myself' and as April went to kiss Jason his long painted nails drew up Jason's ever growing bulge at the front of his pants.

I said my good byes to them and the bar staff, and then went to get a taxi home. All the while thinking through the evening’s events, and new experiences. But the ones that kept coming back to my thoughts were the last ones where Jason had gently kissed my cheek which was so sensuous I wanted every kiss to be like that, and the way April had introduced me as Kiki and referred to me as she, while off stage and dressed as Keane, but what impressed me most was that I had not realized April had done it till I left them. Did I look so feminine or was April just used to calling me by the stage name, I expected it was the second, but had serious worries that the first could be true also, and if I did look feminine what I was going to do about, if anything. Needless to say I had a less than sound sleep that night.

By the time Janet called at ten the next morning, I was full of doubts about who I was. So concerned that after the ‘Hello, how are you?’ Greeting hug. ‘Do you want a coffee’ routine, I immediately asked if she thought I was gay. Her response was to laugh and hug me. No was the answer, and as she pointed out it might have been a few months ago but we had spent a few nights together and from what she remembered I was all man, but then with a twinkle in her eye, suggested sexuality is never black and white, but shades of grey and who knows what percentage male to female I truly am. Then as we hugged she kissed me and my erection grew until it was so hard she noticed, with her hand resting on my groin she smiled and told me that with that response I at least fancied her if not all women, then with that twinkle added, men I would have to find out for myself.

The day passed quickly after Janet left having proved that I had fully functioning male genitals. I had my usual weekend chores to do as well as have an early shower and moisturize all over, it helps the skin when you shave all over April had told me, and as I was ignorant of such things did as he suggested. I had also brought home a few items so I could sort myself out before April would prepare me, I had the gaff to put on, which I had rinsed through with the tights. I also had my hair which needed a good brushing before I wore it again. So about six I walked into the bar to be welcomed by the bar staff who remembered me from the night before, wearing my tackle tightly restricted inside the gaff, and my other things in a shoulder bag. I had chosen a particularly soft shirt to wear and my linen trousers so I could enjoy the feel of them against my skin. I don't know why but I had a good feeling about me and could tell I was smiling a lot.

April was already at the bar, this time in cream dress that flattered the bust the skirt part floating around his body as he moved, once again I had to remind myself this was a man I was looking at and thinking how sexy he looked. 'You all set for tonight?' he asked, I smiled and said I was. Then he pulled out a running order of what we would be doing, Saturday was not all karaoke, if any of the past winners wanted to come along and sing that was fine, but April would do some chat and comedy with the audience, I was down to sing about six songs, and there was a male stripper as a main attraction. Then I had to go through the dressing up part all over again, April quietly applying makeup and giving me advice on how to do things. I was in the same dress, but April chose a dress which looked like two meringues on top of one another, one around the chest the other covering the hips, with a wide belt between them pulling the waist in, his long legs coming out the bottom and wearing towering heels again. With plenty of colorful make up and a big hair wig he looked every part a drag queen and nowhere near as good as when I first saw him in the cream dress. I said nothing but knew I would think this contrast over when I had a moment to myself.

The night went well, I sang all the songs I had done before and couple more that were well known easy ones, and I even got into the character of the singer, and moved about in a way I had seen on a video I had watched in the afternoon. When not singing I would play stooge to some of April's jokes, and mingle with the customers as I went for drinks for myself and April. What did take me by surprise was my reaction to the stripper, I was on stage to just collect clothes that he discarded, and give him some help if he needed, what I did not expect was to become part of the act. He was half way through his undressing when he beckoned for me to tug a string and I ended up with his trousers in my hand, I expected it but was able to appear shocked, then he squirted some foam onto my hand and encouraged me to rub it over his very well muscled chest, then over his six pack, but slapped my hand when I went lower. He then got a customer up on stage and played with them, the whole act being quite risqué. He eventually turned his back to the crowd and deftly removed his man pouch passing it to me who was stood in front of him and could see him in all his nakedness. I am thinking my face was a picture. Then April turned the lights off and the small stage was dark for us to get off unseen.

Sean the stripper hugged me once we were out of sight, 'You were brilliant out there' I was lost for words 'you are perfect, don't ever lose that innocent look' April had put a CD on and came to join us and congratulate us on a great performance and told me I was on next to sing but missed out what was going to be played. I was left with no time to object as the music started and the words started to roll on the monitor, it was one of Donna Summer's very close to the knuckle songs about making love to a nice man, I caught a look at April who was smiling like a Cheshire cat and making suggestive gestures like licking a finger. I just went for it and played the role.

We finished about midnight and made our way slowly through the bar to the quietness of the changing room. Pete followed us in, gave April a kiss and patted my bum telling me I was fantastic. Then he gave me my pay, a quick look confirmed he was paying me more than he had said he would. Last week had been a quiet week and what I had in my hand for one evenings work equaled half that I could expect from my computer job, I was shocked. Then he took me to one side, he wanted to know if was up for doing this regularly, he would understand if the experience had freaked me out a little, I bumbled something about how there was plenty of new things I needed to get used to, but I lied when I said nothing had freaked me out, but told the truth when I said I would do it regularly. This seemed to please him as the frown on his face was replaced by a smile, then he told me to get in touch next week he would make some arrangements with Ruby to kit me out properly and stop using April's cast offs. All I could say was 'well thank you, shall be in touch'

As Pete left Jason appeared, congratulated me, then went to kiss April. I went to clean up and change reappearing to find April once more looking female sexy and Jason looking like a dog with a bone. I wished them good night but as the bar was still open stayed and had a drink and a chat with some of the staff, I could not get enough of their flattery. Eventually I went home and realized I had never been called Keane always Kiki no matter how I was dressed. At the bar I was Kiki and that appealed to me, I could keep the parts of my life separate if no one was going to call me Keane when I was at the bar and no one would call me Kiki when I was visiting sick computers. Neat.

I had a better night’s sleep and was woken by Dan ringing to find out how the job had gone. I meet him later at a local bar and told him whatever he asked, I tried to explain how it felt to play a character like the sexy Donna Summer, he was a little shocked to realize I had smooth soft arms, and asked the inevitable question was I gay, no I replied but did not tell him about my midday fun with Janet the day before. Then he asked if I was going to be getting into dresses more often, I confidently said I only wore a dress for the show I had no intentions of wandering about town in a skirt, to which he said it was shame as I could look good in a skirt. That got him a slap, unfortunately not a heavy man's slap more a weak girly one, but it was just the way we were sitting and I could not get a good swing at him.

Monday afternoon I had a call from Ruby asking when I would like to make an appointment so we could spend some of Pete's money, I looked at my diary and we agreed on Wednesday morning, she told me to come prepared, when I asked what she meant she sighed, 'I did not believe Pete when he said you were a complete novice, but you are. Don't worry we shall fix you up with everything, just bring yourself'

I arrived on the Wednesday at the appointed time outside Ruby's ethnic beauty parlor. A bit nervous if I am honest, ladies salons are were not a familiar haunt of mine then and this was like a forbidden place that men did not go into. But I walked in trying to feel confident, Ruby recognized me and gestured to a chair where I could wait until she finished with her customer. She was five minutes then came over to me, the first thing she said was 'Welcome Kiki, follow me and we shall spend some of Pete's money and make you look like a star' somehow it was being called Kiki and that she was going to give me everything for the drag role that made me nervous and excited at the same time. Nervous because it was new and totally out of my experience, exciting because it was new and totally out of my experience.

We started at the back of the shop where she suggested I might feel more relaxed, I thought less embarrassed as she took out samples of the cosmetics April had bought a few nights before and taught me how to apply them. An hour later I had cleaned and reapplied them three times, Ruby saying I was pretty good already but I should maybe practice at home a few times just to get myself easier with them. Then before I cleaned off for a last time she produced several wigs, being an ethnic salon her selection was more suited to my skin color she explained and she tried on various styles. We had discussed what sort of look I was trying for, when I said I had no idea she said great, she could use all her skills on a blank canvas, the only thing she did consider was that I was singing mostly soul numbers, but I did say that I was not certain whether this would continue. So with soul diva in mind she choose my hair style. I ended up with a long dark brown wig with plenty of small curls so it gave it plenty of body, Ruby assured me the color was great but I could restyle it to a straighter cut or give it more frizz and make it into a really big hair look. Whatever I did I was to take it back every so often for her to recondition it, and that was on top of the care program she gave me to do so it stayed in good condition. Then while sat there with makeup and hair all in place looking at myself in the mirror, Ruby went off to find some more things, I looked at my reflection and realized how feminine I looked, Ruby's efforts had transformed me in ways I never imagined. I sprang out of my reverie when she returned with what I found out were false nails. I then had a lesson in applying them, painting them and removing them. She also gave me a set of false eyelashes but suggested I call into the shop so she could put them on as they are not so nice to be putting on and off just for a few minutes. I promised to be round before my next show. Then I had to clean everything off, we were going shopping.

First stop was a specialist shop for theatre performers, a limited range for drag but enough she told me. I was fitted with a girdle that kept everything below squashed flat, two chicken fillets as they called them and a bra to put them in. There was a certain amount of fiddling with the straps, but Ruby and the sales assistant made comments about how once I was confident of the position I should go for strapless as I have such good shoulders and nice neck. In my ignorance I said that it was something I would remember to try in the future. We were asked if I needed a corset or waspie but Ruby said that would depend on the dress. They did try to sell us a dress but they had nothing Ruby said was suitable and we left with our purchases. The next part was the hardest, Ruby took me round regular ladies fashion shops, at first I thought she would want me to try things on as at the theatre place, but my fears were downgraded to moderate anxiety from terror when she told me we could return them if they did not fit after trying them at home.

We ended up back to her salon with four dresses. In a back room I had to get into the new underwear then try on each dress. A white mini dress with big bell sleeves. A gold dress with a long tail to my left ankle, the skirt hem rising across my legs to a point high on my thigh just below the panties. A red Spanish style dress with lots of frills and a big skirt. And a dress best described as a corset with lots of net attached to the bottom. All of them Ruby said would be suitable for the drag queen assistant look she had in mind, but after getting me to try on the mini and the long gold dress again, she picked the gold one.

Then we were off again, returning the three unwanted dresses, then on to get the remaining items. Shoes she insisted for the part had to be high and spike, when I raised objections about them being uncomfortable and dangerous, she just told me some women wear them all the time, and I would be expected to wear even higher ones if I could. Part of the job I said, she agreed and I had to suffer the embarrassment of trying on high heels looking like a man, but because I had a small foot I was sorted out quickly with my gold stilettos. Next we needed nylons as she called them, I knew them as tights. She had wanted me in stockings but the dress was too short so tights would be better, three pairs of nude with a sparkle in them ended up in the bag. Then back to the theatre shop and the most uncomfortable fitting I had. The gold dress emphasized the bust then fitted around my stomach meaning that a flat abdomen would look best. To achieve this I was given a strong elasticized corset, no bones or laces just a zip up the back. It not only held my stomach in but pulled me in at the sides so that when I put the dress over it I had what they termed, the beginnings of an hour glass figure, which apparently was good. What was not so good was the constriction, Ruby's answer to that was 'Go on a diet and get some shape'. I was fully dressed at this point to make sure the corset looked right with the dress and did not show. I caught a look at my reflection in a full length mirror and had to admit to liking the outfit, but was horrified at the sight of Keane's head on top of a dress, it was just so odd and wrong. Ruby saw my expression and comforted me telling me I needed to see the full thing to really appreciate the look, she could see beyond the mixed look, and I should trust her. I told her I did. Soon we were back at the salon having stopped for some costume jewelry on the way. A couple of big rings, a long string of white beads, ear rings and two chunky bracelets for my wrists. Finally I could go home, as I gathered up all my bags she brought out a small bottle, sprayed it on my wrist and asked me smell it, when I said it was nice, she told me it was a gift from her. I looked at the label 'All Woman' was she trying to tell me something?

When I had everything home I was putting things away when April rang to see how I had got on with Ruby, fine I said, all ready for the next show. April told me he wanted me to be there Friday and Saturday, and that I should get some practice in on the shoes and gestures. I told him I was already wearing the heels which got a 'good girl' from the other end of the phone. There it was again, I was being called a girl, April clearly thinks of me as female, I was not sure I wanted to think of myself in that way, but I did think that maybe I should stop thinking of April as a man and treat her as the woman he so often presented as.

Thursday fortunately was a busy day and thankfully kept my mind occupied or else the anticipation of Friday might have been too much. I did wear the heels once more in the evening, and then as Ruby advised I had a makeup session, then as I had not done it before I fitted the wig myself. By the end I had everything on and took the opportunity to pose in front of a long mirror and consider just how I looked, then spent some time walking around to familiarize myself with the costume. A quite unusual way to spend an evening I had to admit as I cleaned everything off.

Friday I got myself dressed in the underwear before going to the bar, the dress, shoes etc were carefully packed in a small case. I got to the bar about six and found April in the bar with Jason. She was dressed in what I would call a slutty style, might not be my choice but it certainly got Jason's approval. After saying hello to them and a few others I went into the back to get ready, I hoped to be able to do it all myself without April's help. When she came in I was gluing the nails on, she smiled her approval, then settled down to sorting herself out. This time a long flowing red gown was her choice. This week I knew a bit more about what was expected of me, I sang a few songs when it was quiet, and went into the crowd to encourage fresh singers to have a go. I was more relaxed with the chat and was able to play April's stooge for some of her jokes with more ease.

Saturday was a rerun of Friday evening, I had worn my softest shirt all day just so I could enjoy it against my smooth skin. I was nearly ready when April appeared in the changing room, this time she was not the usual sexy look I had seen recently, but even in jeans and shirt she looked more female than male. And the transformation was even starker as she turned herself into a gorgeous drag queen. While I was doing my face she suggested some shadow below my eyes, and if I could get one, a lip liner to define the edges better. I did my eyes bolder and had to agree it looked good. We had a good night, I sang a few tunes, April compered and a rather blue comedian was the star guest who made the most of having two drag queens to joke with. At the close I had really enjoyed myself, and when Pete came in to tell me how good it had been it was the icing on the cake. 'So you enjoyed yourself?' I could only smile back 'Good because if you leave for any reason I will want my money back for Ruby's little spending spree' this was a bit of a shock back to reality. 'Good job I like it then isn't it' I replied 'Good girl' Pete said and gave me a pat on my bum. As we cleaned up April was giving me a few tips on how to handle the men when I am flirting in the crowd, and told me to have a good week. I had a drink with the bar staff before leaving and found myself easily making friends with these girls and boys who covered every aspect of humanity it seemed, creed, color and sexuality seeming to be no barrier to them, I was surprising myself as to how easily I was fitting in with these people I would never have mixed with before.

The week was rather dull after the weekend, I worked, I did my grooming, I did some training with the heels, they had been uncomfortable by Saturday night and I needed to break them in, so I wore them whenever I was home, I also wore the girdle and corset so I could get familiar with the grip of these items. But what I would pick out of that week was the websites I visited about divas, cross dressing and drag queens, Divas were amazing, cross dressing was just weird, drag queens were outrageous. But somewhere in a mix of those three was me, and I did wonder where it was taking me.

Friday I turned up to the bar with an extra lip liner which got approval from April who showed me how to use it. We had another good night. Saturday and Sean the stripper was back, but the event that was memorable for the wrong reasons was being accosted by a drunken man who thought my flirting was for real, but almost as soon as he made to cuddle me, he was picked up by a bouncer who swiftly showed him where the door was. I said I was not bothered but went to check my make up for damage after his clumsy kiss, what I really wanted was time for my heart to slow down and my nerves to stop jingling. A few minutes later Sean came in and asked how I was, I said fine, then he gave me a gentle hug and tenderly kissed my cheek. I thanked him and spent a moment alone. Odd I thought, if Keane had been accosted no one would have bothered, but as Kiki I had reacted differently and people had appeared to care for how I was. Maybe being Kiki had unexpected benefits. April did give me her tips on drunken men once again, but this time I listened.

I could write about how every evening went, I was enjoying myself, getting paid well and singing some great songs, and getting more confident with the banter between April and myself and handling the audience. But for the next three weeks I was just getting used to the routine and how to improve my part in the show. By the third week I mentioned to April I had a set of false lashes and she told me to bring them in on the next Friday as it is not worth putting them on for one night. So the next week I turned up with them and April showed me how to fit them, and I had to admit they were an essential to a drag queen look, April agreed and explained how she would wear them for a few days at a time as she hated the pain of removing them. Leaving them on Friday night did mean I was not going out in the day on Saturday, and wore a cap with the peak down when I left the flat in the afternoon.

During the next week I had to call at Ruby's for more lashes and extra nails, she pulled me to a quiet corner and asked how it was going, I said it was good, she said she could tell, then asked if I wanted to improve my look, when I asked what she meant she suggested a list of things she could offer. I turned down the more extreme like acrylic nails which would make weekday working difficult, but I did come away with two studs in my ears, well boys do wear them so why not. What I was less sure about was having my eye brows plucked 'to tidy them up' Ruby said, and it did change my face but not dramatically so I was OK with that.

Everyone noticed the studs, but only April and Janet noticed the brows, Janet actually running a finger along one saying how nice it looked. But more of a treat for myself, while I was getting some fresh tights and a spare pair of control pants, I picked up a lacy bra and pant set, maybe I was feeling nervous about buying women's items, or just buzzed after the things Ruby had done to me, but I could not wait to get home and try them on, then spent the rest of the day wandering about the flat in my pretty new clothes.

But the Saturdays were becoming a little dull, because of the lashes I was staying in through the day, and after a week I realized I might as well leave the nails on as well, by the end of three weeks I was just changing my dress and shoes to go home so I could clean off in comfort. This was fine coming home in the dark, but leaving on a Saturday afternoon was more troubling, what if I bumped into someone I knew, I had my story about being a drag queen ready but not sure it was a terribly good one given the image of some drag artists. My friends had kept in touch, but working Friday and Saturday night meant I only meet up with a few of them mid week which seemed to always involve Janet and Dan, and Janet in particular was curious about how my new job was going, I would always tell her it was fun and enjoyable, I even allowed them to come and watch as I got more comfortable with the image I portrayed and the attention I was getting.

After six weeks of hiding on a Saturday Janet called round unexpectedly, I had left the door on the latch after going to the waste chute, so she walked in on me as I was sat putting a coat of burgundy polish on my long nails, and wrapped in a dressing gown, admittedly toweling, but a robe none the less. She let out a wow and shut the door, then noticed the bulge beneath the robe and caught a glimpse of the lace cup of the bra cradling the silicone fillers. Janet was clearly excited by having discovered why I hid on Saturdays. 'Right well I think it is time you found a way of getting out on Saturday, if you can’t go out as a man, why not go out as Kiki' I was going to protest but she was out of the door and back twenty minutes later with a bag of her clothes. She picked out a loose top and a plain stretchy skirt for me to try on. She approved and told me to put my heels on, she was going to take me for some retail therapy. I had been earning good money and she wanted to help me spend some of it.
We started in a shoe store and came away with a pair of 3" black courts and tan moccasins. So now in the lower courts we went to the fashion outlets, I hoped I would be able to do as Ruby had done and take things home to try on, but Janet said that was too much effort and pushed me to go into the changing cubicles. We came away with three outfits, Janet described them as a lounging at home, which was a neat t shirt and soft flared skirt in creams and browns, then a going out dress, russet colored with a big belt pulling the waist in, and a clubbing set of gold crop top and leopard print mini which I doubted I would ever find an opportunity to wear.

It was getting late in the afternoon when we got back to the flat, so I only had time to pick up my costume case and at Janet's insistence I changed into the russet dress. She then drove me to work promising to come and watch me later. I walked in for the first time wearing a dress, Jenny was the first to notice as she walked past, and stopping to give me a hug, asked me why it had taken so long for me to come to work in a dress rather than the awkward boy look I had been persisting with. Dave at the bar told me Pete and April were in the office, and wishing to show off I went that way and knocked on the door. As I opened it, Pete saw me and smiled 'You look good, come in' I stepped in and let them see the new dress, 'You are liking the job I take it' 'Yes' I replied. 'Good because I have something to ask you. April is going into hospital in a few weeks' they gave each other a quick smile 'And I, we want to know if you will stand in for her till she is back' I stuttered something. Pete continued 'Off course I will pay you what April gets' then April cut in 'And she will need some new outfits, that gold one must be threadbare by now. Time you dipped in your pockets' Pete was laughing 'Get out, you pair of queens will ruin me, I don't have bottomless pockets' then he laughed again 'OK Kiki a few hundred to get yourself a bit of variety if you will do Wednesday to Saturday' I turned and smiled 'That might just be enough' April hugged me as she said 'Good girl, don't let him get off cheaply'

Changing was much easier as I only had to change my dress and shoes, then use some bolder colours on my face and brush out my hair to give it more body. As I was changing April suggested I compere that evening, she would dress down and be ready to step in if I needed help, but it was to be me if possible. I was shocked, talk about being thrown in the deep end. I was still taking this idea in while April changed into a plain black dress which meant I was going to on my own. Sean was back on as the stripper so I knew that would go well, and there was a past karaoke winner who had promised to come along, plus my songs and some banter with the audience. Janet was in the crowd and would give me a supporting smile when I looked at her. Dan turned up during the stripper set and he got a good look of the show we put on which had become even more close to the knuckle, and over the several times we had done it I had got to enjoy it even more as we got more provocative towards one another. Dan was able to tease me mercilessly later given my usual staid image he was used to. I was exhausted at the close and could not wait to sit down and have a quiet drink. Sean gave me one of his tender kisses as he told me it had gone well, April came to give me her thanks, and Pete came in with my money, which when I checked it was my normal pay plus a bit more, and a few hundred extra which must have been for my clothes. I was thrilled to have so much, I had never had that much in one pay. I was enjoying my job and success seemed to be right there in my hand, if money is a judge of success?

That Sunday was a new experience for me, I had money to buy dresses and needed to work out what sort of dress style I was looking for rather than just picking anything that fits and is maybe a nice color, which is basically all I would do when buying men's clothing. This time I spent time looking through websites on fashion and style, the drag queen sites were useful too, but then I would be put off by the prices and ended up looking at auction sites, and then considered second hand shops, but that was a bit more daunting as I did not want the conversation 'Hello my name is Keane, I want a pretty dress' I imagined a frosty response. I also had a few weeks to sort myself out so I did not have to panic. Although I did bid on a nice bridesmaids dress, strong pink, fuchsia I think it was called, puff sleeves big skirt, it would be loud enough for the drag style. I gave myself a week to get at least two dresses which would give me three all together, I would also need shoes but hoped my gold and black ones might cover any dress color I got.

I now had three weeks to work at the computers, I let them know I would not be available for big jobs on the Thursdays and Fridays in a few weeks, I told them I was helping out a friend, and that I was not leaving and still wanted to work, just have a few days off for a bit, which seemed fine as they did not do holiday pay. Tuesday I won my first dress, who would wear it I could only guess, canary yellow, fitted chest, sleeveless, big layer skirt. I thought it outlandish enough for the show, white beads etc and white shoes I had one outfit.

Thursday, Janet called asking if I wanted to go for a drink. She and Dan were very close it seemed, but Steve was there and had been given there version of what my second job was becoming, he asked some questions but tended to smile and say 'interesting' a lot. I told Janet about the dress as she was the only one I thought might be interested, her reaction was 'not a diva dress is it' and I had to admit it was more drag queen, but then I would be the host not the singer.

Friday I had no jobs so decided to have a totally girl day. I kept my satin nightie on till I had cleared up from breakfast which had become some cereal now. Then shower, shave, moisturize, get dressed in the top and skirt, fix the hair, do my face, nails. Then it was time to look for dresses. I spotted a wedding dress that I liked, white of course, round neck with short skirt, but what made it were the net skirts that allowed the legs to be seen through it, the big sleeves and to make it great, white feathers around the neck and along the edge of the wide sleeves. I would need to buy some white shoes for definite. So I plucked up all my courage and slipped the moccasins on and before I could change my mind walked out the door. I made straight for the shoe store and hoped no assistant came and offered me help. I found a pair that would be good if not comfortable, a platform sole and 5" heel with straps everywhere. I bought them. Then went looking for gold costume jewelry. Ear rings were big gold discs, four big bracelets, two chunky rings and a short big bead necklace. I had everything, I just hoped the yellow dress had turned up as it was supposed too.

That evening I went to work with my new outfit in the case having decided I did not need to change for the journey there. As I expected I was host while April would do the floor walking and hopefully banter with me to help the evening along. She loved the yellow dress, I apologized for it not being very diva, she said that was fine if I was going to be hosting. For the Saturday I asked if I should be in the yellow or gold dress, gold she suggested, you can be a diva for only a few more turns. As we changed and I put my skirt and top back on I gave her a hug as we said good bye, and it suddenly dawned on me we had been doing this hugging for weeks now and I never even thought about it, somehow it had just become a natural thing to do. I even stopped behind after closing to have a drink with the bar staff who were becoming quite good friends by then. Jenny was always nice and even nicer now I wore dresses to work, but then I think she is a lesbian. Marc who is a camp gay would like to take me to meet one of his friends who he says fancies me something rotten, I always tell him I am flattered but no thanks.

The white dress came on the following Tuesday and I loved it. But was lucky enough to spot in a thrift shop a purple gown, satin I think, it fitted everywhere from the buttoned sleeves, and fitted right down to the long skirt with its short train. It was a diva dress, but it had a low neckline so went to see Ruby, who had become my friendly advice stop. It was she who had suggested a strapless bra for the white dress and now suggested some fine netting across the front in a skin tone so it looks like an open neck with a necklace to hide the top edge. She even told me where to go for the material. Then with my school learned sewing skills I altered the neck to suit my needs. And with the gold accessories I reckoned I had outfit number four. I was ready for April's job.

I had a week left before April would be having her operation and I would be the host. The nerves would not get me till the week after when I was on my own. For the next two weekends I was doing the usual routine with April, except for the anticipation of giving my new outfits an airing in public. So for the Friday I went for the purple gown which April said was a stunner and set us up for a good karaoke evening. As before I was wearing female clothing to work, this time the russet dress. Then on the Saturday I wore the skirt and top in the day and to work, and then wore the white dress to perform. This one really got a good reaction of April, even a few of the staff commented. April did mention it was a mini dress with a transparent skirt that only makes it sexier. I had not realized this, but took it as a warning that drunken men might get the wrong idea as to what I was doing in the bar. This was also the evening a few of my friends turned up in the crowd, Janet and Dan were there every few weeks, but this time Steve, Phil, Mary, Alexis and Lisa were there. April saw Dan and persuaded him to sing a duet with me, another love song which made a couple of the friends question our relationship. That is according to Janet who heard the comments. Maybe we were too convincing at portraying the song. Whatever, Dan did not seem to mind the reaction and gave me a kiss as he left the stage, and knew I would be a man the next day if we meet. So that was a surprise. Another surprise was to come out of the changing room, having my usual hug with April, a nice peek on the cheek of Jason, and money with a squeeze on my arse off Pete. Then finding my friends still in the bar waiting for me, this was a bit awkward only Janet had a real idea how often I wore a dress away from the bar, Dan had seen me once, the rest might have no idea. This could be a shock for them, Janet came to me and hugged me 'You were good tonight' then Dan spoke up 'That dress is a bit special' I replied with a thank you. Then the others seemed to relax and invited me to sit with them, I asked Marc to give us a drink, he made some attempt at saying the bar was closed, so I just asked for bottles so I could clear up, and he gave in. After a short chat we drank up and got out of Marc's way. As we wandered down the street to get a taxi I felt they had accepted my explanation that it was easier to get ready at home and travel in a dress than do the full change in the back room at the bar. It was Steve, my oldest friend who walked along side me and asked if there was not something more to my wearing dress off the stage and when I said no, it is just an extension of the job, he expressed his disappointment and told me I really did look very good in the dress I was wearing at the time, and a real doll in the white dress I had worn on stage. I did not quite know how to react to that, was he being sincere, he might be, but was he in some way chatting me up as a woman, that idea was a new one to me. Did men really fancy Kiki even though they know I am a man? I thanked him for the compliment and fortunately came to the taxis right then and the group reformed. Two taxis back to our area of apartments, we all stood on the pavement chatting for a few minutes, then for no reason I could think of I invited them all back for a coffee, Phil and Mary left us there but the rest came up. They must have wondered what they had walked into, my other three drag dresses were hung up and there were cosmetics on the kitchen table. I quickly cleared things away and Janet made the coffee while everyone found a seat. Alexis and Lisa took an interest in the dresses and told me the purple one must be divine to wear, I agreed it was very nice if a little tedious to get into, they might even have been a little jealous that I got to wear the style of dress they only wear for special occasions, but I do it regularly.

One by one they left until Janet was the only one left, she helped clean up, but instead of leaving slid an arm around my waist and gave me a French kiss 'Now I was wondering what you look like in one of the satin nightgowns we bought the other week?' 'You really want to see?' I replied by which time she was releasing the belt on the dress and pulling the zip down 'Well if you insist' I added. 'I do' she insisted. We had a very nice night together, I lent her one of the others and for the first time made love looking like a woman, which with all that satin about was very enjoyable indeed.

Morning came eventually and I took her a coffee to wake her up. We sat in our night wear silently, then she stunned me 'Steve fancies you' 'What?' 'And I reckon Dan does as well, he keeps saying how good you are at the bar, and that singing was perfect' 'What?' I was getting a bit too much information. She went on to explain how Steve's body language the previous night had been that of a man chasing a girl, as for Dan she had stopped over at his place the week before and he kept mentioning me, which did not go down well with Janet who she thought was getting something going with him and not just casual sex. I retold her I was not gay, and she said she knew I was a functioning man, but if I ever did fancy seeing how the other half lived then either of them might just like to treat me as a woman. I got out of it by saying I would be very busy with computers and doing four nights at the bar from the next week. Although the seed had been sown and I knew that sometime it would pop up and want to have its day.

Life as Keane returned once Janet had left and I had time to clean up and get myself looking male. This was followed by an awkward situation. When I went out for some groceries a neighbour who I was on nodding terms, told me I had a good looking girlfriend, I thought he meant Janet, but as I thought about it he was not meaning her, but the person he had seen was me going to work on Saturday. This worried me at first but then recognized that he had seen Kiki but not realized it was me, he had seen a girl and not a boy dressed up, the implications of this was to relax my attitude to going out as Kiki as I clearly, at least to this man, saw me as a girl when in a dress.

I had a busy week, two good days on computers, and then I went to the bar to watch what April did on the evening. It looked like a relaxed karaoke night with plenty of CDs being played as the bar was not that full. I had work on Thursday followed by being invited to meet Steve in a coffee shop. I was nervous of meeting him after what Janet had said. I was in shirt and jeans so maybe he would not be so taken with the idea of chatting me up. The friendship is a long one that has seen us comfort each other in some hard times like bereavements, so we chatted easily, but what he was most interested in was my life as Kiki, even as Keane he was complimenting me on how good I looked as Kiki and how good I was at the bar, even though he knows it is an act I had got the female look off to a tee. So I plucked up courage to ask him about the other night and his reaction to me. I asked if he was fancying his chances with me. He did not need to answer, he blushed, and said he had maybe drunk too much, but I asked again phrasing it differently and got a more definite yes. Then it dawned on me, Steve never had anything other than casual girlfriends. So as I was feeling that we were being particularly open about ourselves, asked him if he was gay. To which his answer was 'I can't be. It would kill my Dad' so he was, just denying it and locking it away. I felt so sorry for him and told him there are many gays that come to the club, he would be welcomed and how would his dad know unless he told him. I got another coffee and we sat in silence for a while then changed the subject to sport something Steve was keener on than me. We parted with a hug as friends can. I felt for him as I walked away and back to my night in a satin nightie, maybe I should have invited him home, but then I am not gay I reminded myself.

This was my last weekend with April, and we had a great time. Over the months we had become a quite competent pair, we could make comments on stage knowing the other would pick up on it and make it entertaining. She had taught me a lot about posing and gesturing and how the on stage performance is exaggerated but that off stage need not be that reserved. I also found out what the operation was going to do. She was going to have breast implants and some facial surgery on her nose and Adams apple. Wow was my reaction, bit drastic for the job I said rather clumsily. Not for the job, for Jason she informed me. And the rest I asked, in time she said, and then told me how she wanted to be as full a woman as possible without taking hormones, she did not like the idea of taking chemicals all the time, but surgery would be just as significant. She hugged me and told me to stay innocent, she had always fancied her own boobs, Jason was paying and suggested the other things, which must be something that comes from wanting to please your partner if you are happy to let them create in you their image of beauty. I told her to take it easy and that I was looking forward to her coming back and maybe letting me see what all the fuss is about. Don't worry about seeing things, her outfits would all be revealing she said quite emphatically, I just smiled at the thought.
After my two days repairing computers I decided that Wednesday would be a good day to get myself into a Kiki mood, after all I would be dressing for four nights so might as well spend the daytime in a skirt as well. First I did all the grooming things that a female image required, then made up and dressed in the top and skirt, decided I should maybe look for a few more daytime clothes as well as fitting in a visit to Ruby's to replenish stocks and let her give my hair a check over. I looked through a few stores before buying a rather plain blouse, more like a shirt really except for the room it had to accommodate my chest. I had trouble because of the large bust I carried, this was down to April, Ruby and my ignorance at the start, but I know nothing other than the D cup, so had decided once I learnt about such things that for a drag queen, bigger is better. However for a mingling into a crowd look, smaller would be better right now. I was going to stay with the D cup though, they were somehow part of who I was by then. I also picked up a loose fitting dress with little shape other than the rear fastening tie which I expected to be a challenge to fasten. My last purchase was a pair of ankle boots, I had seen girls wearing these and rather liked the look of them so bought them purely for me. Now that was something I would never have predicted a few months ago, picking female clothes because I liked them.

Ruby was too busy for a good hair do, so I made an appointment for Friday, timed so I could go onto the bar after.

Later wearing my yellow dress I had a slow night with the karaoke, but I expected that. There was plenty of time to mix with regulars and spend time talking to the singers. By the end I was tired but content it had gone well.

Thursday, a quiet day, followed by a similar evening to the one before. But maybe I needed that to let me rest before Friday. I turned up at Ruby's in the russet dress because I could get out of it without taking it over my head. Ruby had seen me before in a dress, but for some reason she made a big fuss telling me how good I was looking. Then she sorted out my hair for me, without removing it she cleaned it and reset the style so curls were tighter and stood out more. I had the biggest hair ever. The little extra she did to the hair was to replace the kirby grips with threads that somehow stitched it too my short hair. Then she suggested as I was doing four nights for a few weeks why don't I go for something else, again she wanted to give me nails but I refused as I would be working as a man on Monday, but promised if that ever changed I would come for nails. She did get to pluck my eyebrows though, I had been keeping them neat but she wanted to give them more definition. I looked in the mirror at the results and was shocked, I accused her of defining my face as female. She brushed this off with a comment that no one will notice, and besides it is too late to go back now I was far to pretty for a macho man. It was then I decided I should leave before she did anything else to me I might regret. As I changed at the bar and did my make up using some new products Ruby had sold me, explaining I was now ready for stronger colours and glossier lips. I grudgingly admitted that the brows being higher made my face more attractive and the make up more in keeping with my image especially on stage. Then with my long purple dress on, I minced out into the bar about eight doing a very affected gesture of lifting the hem of the floor with exaggerated finger holds. It was a shock to see Steve there, in my possibly sexiest dress, big hair and redefined face I was not sure this was how I wanted him to see me after our last talk. I could not avoid him, so went over and said hello, air kissed and asked how he was. He was at a loose end and thought it would be nice to come and watch me and take my advice and see how he felt in a gay environment. I told him I hoped he enjoyed himself. The show went well, I got Steve to sing a couple of songs, but possibly the best thing was seeing one of the regulars, I had chatted with a few times and was clearly a sensitive and caring gay, and not predatory one. I asked him to have a chat with Steve hoping he might find some answers to his situation. He waited till I had finished and shared my car to get home. We went to his apartment for a coffee and chatted long into the night, he was telling me of what Claude had talked about, and relating it to himself. I had hugged him when his mother had died, but now I hugged him because he was struggling with himself. And maybe it was wearing female clothes but as we hugged I would gently kiss him as tears ran down his cheeks. This brought thoughts about my sexuality to my own mind. Eventually I got to my own bed and a satin nightdress.
I woke in the afternoon my make up a mess and hair in my face, I felt shocking. As memories returned I had not bothered to clean off and now make up was smeared everywhere. The hair now sewn to me was stuck to my face and needing a good brush. In time I was clean and tidy again but my mind was still on the kisses I had given the night before, they had felt natural but were the first time I had kissed a man, I had been kissed many times by men in greeting and sometimes like Sean when he was showing concern, and I had not felt revulsion at any time. I even considered the idea of going further with a man, but how far? I resolved to try kissing a man properly if the situation arose and the man was appealing. That last part could well be the hardest part to fulfill. I had my Friday night show to do and now only a few hours till I had to be at the bar, so got myself organized and ready for my third solo performance.

Friday night had no unexpected events, just a nice fun karaoke, but my hair had ended up flat, I made an appointment with Ruby to find out how to deal with the hair when it was fixed. She also did my make up for me, so I turned up on stage in the white dress feeling great. The feeling great somehow made the show better and everyone I felt had a good night.

The next night however was full of unexpected events. I was ready for seeing Janet, Dan and Steve in the bar and was able to have a good time as well as entertaining the audience. A gay comedian was the guest and was a big hit with his own look on the world, I even enjoyed the fun he poked at me and my ambiguous image asking such things as how I look so good without a boyfriend snapping me up. He did two sets for me and did not rush off at the end coming through to the changing room while I was changing into the new dress and struggling with the bow at the back. He offered to help and tied the bow for me, then let his fingers linger on my back. 'I was not joking out there, how do you not have a boyfriend?' my mouth went dry as he pulled the hair back and kissed my neck from behind. 'Sorry' I said, 'Kiki' he said 'You are one of the best performers and you manage to look stunning off stage as well, and if I can say it without offending. You are hot and if you wanted to come out with me for a bite to eat now I would love it.' 'My friends will be waiting in the bar' I said looking for an out. 'Fine they can join us, you ready?' I was so walked out to the bar with Ged, as we walked into the bar the three friends were waiting, but what they saw I think changed their view of me. Ged was very close by my side as he introduced himself and invited them to come for a curry with us, but what I missed immediately was that Dan was holding Janet's hand and there was an unknown man stood at Steve's side. Janet was the first to say she was ready for home and looked at Dan. Steve looked at me and I hoped he saw my eyes saying help me out here. 'What do you want to do Chris?' he said looking at the man. 'I'm easy' Ged cut in with 'So I have heard' Chris blushed. Ged took the initiative 'Right well that is four of us for an Indian, the one two streets down will still be open. Maybe see you some other time' he lent forward and kissed Janet on the cheek and as we all moved to the door whispered in my ear 'Glad you came, your friend is nervous isn't he?' I replied 'Bit steamrollered really, his first time I think, go easy on him' I replied, 'I shall, it is you I am after anyway' and placed his hand around my waist and guided me towards the door.

The four of us walked a few hundred yards to the intended restaurant Ged keeping a hand on me all the way. As we entered he did the speaking to the staff so we had a good table. The circular table meant I sat between Ged and Steve, which was good as I was dying to ask Steve about the man he was with, while the drinks order was being delivered I got a quiet word. Steve told me I had taken his advice and come along to find out if men were his thing really, no point just imagining, and while he was watching the show Chris came and chatted with him, he was good company, he had asked Chris to stay when it was closing to meet the star who he loved saying was his friend, and Chris stayed. This was all said in seconds as we were brought back into the four when Ged took hold of my hand, 'For tonight, you are mine, gorgeous. Steve can have you some other time' 'It's not like that, we are just very old friends, honestly' I defended. In hoping to avert a scene I moved closer to Ged, on reflection almost an act of submission, I did not want to make a fuss and this was an easy way calm it down.

Chris was nice, not pushy, just a really nice bloke, Steve was a little reserved, but Ged was not. The comedian enjoyed playing to his small audience but I was getting to like the attention, the touching, the way he took charge of ordering, refilling my wine glass as it emptied, and off course the compliments, could I ever tire of hearing someone telling me how good I looked. The meal over and the wine empty we paid and left, Ged taking my hand as we walked out into the night, Chris, I noticed had two hands on Steve's hips as he steered him onto the street. Where to now Ged asked. I suggested my car was round the corner and could give Steve a lift, but Ged had other plans, he spun me round and gave me proper kiss, full on breathing through the nose, tongues, the lot. When we broke he asked if he could come too. My small frame and his height meant I had to reach up to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear 'Sorry, I'm tired and need some sleep. Maybe another time.' He squeezed my shoulders 'I shall hold you to that I don't let the pretty ones away that easily' and kissed me back. I turned to Steve 'Are you coming?' then to my surprise as I focused on him and not on Ged, he was right next to Chris, 'No, Chris wants to show me where he lives'. It took a moment to register before I realized Steve was going home with this man. 'Ring me in the morning or call round' I instructed ‘and be careful' and as I hugged him 'Be careful yourself' We parted there, Ged walked to my car and told me he was serious about taking me out properly and put his number into my bag. I was tired but knew this was going to open up a can of worms in my head.

Steve came round about midday to find me trying to unstitch the wig, so as we talked he carefully removed my hair. He was now a confirmed gay, his night with Chris had proved it to him. He told me how the occasional times he had been with women seemed forced compared to the night before. Chris had made him feel special and he had never had such wonderful sex, no girl had ever made him feel wanted, Chris made him feel wanted, made him feel as though they were both participating, not like his odd experience before when the girl just lay there letting him do his male thing. Before I could ask he was telling me that they were meeting up again later at an art gallery, then who knows. He asked me about Ged. I was by this time looking like Keane. I explained how I still fancied women, but after a sleepless night I was considering taking Ged up on his offer of a date. Steve in a reversal of attitude told me I should give it a go, it would be different for me, I would be the woman, he would take me out, let him chase and seduce me until I was ready to let him in for his reward. I asked if that was how he saw women, kind off he said. I told him I was thinking about it. After some lunch we hugged as mates and promised to be in touch.

I had done a week at the bar and though I was a drag artist it had not dragged at all. Added to all personal stuff and the stage fun, Pete was pleased with the way things were going and not only paid me for the four nights but put in some extra. I had earnt two weeks money in the one week, but I had to keep the day job going for when April returned, so till Wednesday I was Keane the repair man. Things did not go so well for me though, I was given a job that would last me last me two days, but the customer made the job hard telling me it was only worth a day’s time, then on Tuesday something broke which meant I would need a part and had to be back on Wednesday, which meant I was rushing to finish. I got it all done with time to spare but the customer gave me a hard time and told me he would be complaining to the company. I was just happy to be out of there and going to the bar that evening. Late afternoon I got a call from the manager asking me about the job I had done, he was not pleased with my extended hours or the upset customer. He was a regular and had never complained like this before, I could feel the conversation not going my way as I explained my version of events, and when I said coming in on Friday would be awkward I could tell he was not happy. So when I finished and said I would be free for work on Monday, rather ominously he said there was nothing lined up or likely to be next week. I did not ask if that was a way of telling me I was in the dog house and they controlled me so I should be thankful for the work, but I was sure I was not going to be repairing computers on Monday next.

So From that Wednesday till the Saturday I had another extended period in dresses, and as I was getting more confident in daytime I had no trouble meeting up with Steve for a coffee at midday as he took a break from his office. He was full of himself wanting to tell me all about Chris. They had been to the gallery on Sunday, then out for a meal on Tuesday and back to his place, Friday they were coming to the bar, and he hoped they spent at least some of the weekend together. I was pleased for him, I had never seen him so happy, and felt that as I was wearing a dress could easily show affection without attracting comments from other clientele in the coffee shop. Then later I had a call from Janet, had I seen Steve why was he so excitable, I denied knowledge reckoning it was up to Steve to tell her, then she asked what was going on with the comedian. I told her the truth, we had a meal and I went home, the truth, but missed out the way he had made me feel and the worms that were playing with my head since. She promised to call round on Saturday a for girls talk, whatever that was.

The shows went as well as they always did, I was clearly enjoying myself and this translated into the show. On Friday Steve was there with Chris and being very friendly in public, I was by this time used to seeing men being with men, but seeing Steve with another man's arm around his shoulder was not what I ever thought I would see. But they were happy and stayed behind for a drink and chat, I could see even more why he liked Chris, just as a person he was very nice. Then on the Saturday, Janet and Dan turned up with a few of the others from the group, some who had never seen me perform in drag. I had another fun night with an unusual choice of guest booking, a folk singer who sang and told stories. It was not until a little way into the set I recognized her as a very talented artist who could write a great song and tell funny tales. This made my job so easy, I hoped Pete would book her again.

Backtracking a bit, when Janet turned up on Saturday she wanted to find out as much as possible about Steve, this man Chris from the week before and whether Ged was as close as he looked when she saw him. I put off the topic by asking her to come shopping I wanted some tights and a new top to go with the brown skirt. She was keen to shop but did not give up on trying to get gossip out of me. Telling her to ask Steve, and saying 'no I have not seen Ged' did not seem to work. So I asked her about Dan, it turns out they have been spending a few nights together, but nothing serious, just company. I managed a knowing smile, which meant, so what are you not telling me. It was a successful shop as well, a cream silk top which is what I had gone for, as well as satin shiny, baby blue pinafore style dress, some big hoop ear rings and some jewelry to go with the dress.

Sunday I had a conversation with Steve to make sure he was still ok, I knew enough about gay relationships to know they are often short term and promiscuous, so was expecting Steve to be bumped any time soon. But that Sunday was significant because I usually get an e mail with at least Mondays work on if not the weeks. This Sunday I got an e mail with nothing, I rang to see if it was a mistake, it was not, there was no work for me that week. I was gutted, when I asked 'Next week?' I got the answer, who knows, maybe. Not the usual, 'Sure something will come in' I was used too. Had that customer screwed up my prospects with this business? I was not sure but I did not want to lose the work, but at the same time I was earning more than I ever did and having a great time as well. I could live without it for a few a weeks’ anyway. This did mean when I got up on Monday and decided what to do with my free day as I ate my small bowl of cereal in the long black nightie, I could consider all sorts of options, I had not had a day off in ages as Keane, but then I had never had a day to myself as Kiki.

Carefully thinking this through I considered what I wanted to do until Wednesday evening as Keane, and besides maybe going for a drink with my friends there was nothing I could think off. But as Kiki there were a few things I could do, the first was to ring Ruby and ask her if she could fit me in, the next was to consider how far I let her go. Decision made, she was quiet that morning, so before I could change my mind I drove over there in my new blue dress. I was greeted with a welcome that was all Ruby, excitedly she asked what the rush was, and why Monday, had I no work. I told her the story that for this and very likely the next week I was not working except at the bar, so I thought it might be interesting to try living fulltime as Kiki, no switching back and forth. Her eyes lit up 'I have just the thing, well more than one actually that will keep you from even thinking of being a dull boy, come this way my dear girl' I followed her to a corner of the salon I knew as the desk that women had their manicures, I took a deep breath knowing what was coming and hoping I did not need to be Keane any time soon. Acrylic nails at least double my normal nail length and longer than the glue on ones even, painted a nice burgundy with a silver line diagonally across them. Next she brought out her piercing trolley and without asking if I wanted one fired a red stoned stud into my nose, 'Very feminine don't you think' then asked me to lift up the hem of my dress 'This one is just for you really' as she pierced my navel and screwed a matching red cap to the end of the stud in my belly. With a smile on her face she led me into a back room, 'You have on those bra fillers we bought on?' 'Yes. Why?' 'Strip off your bra and I shall show you.' I did as told as she picked out some bottles. It was cold as she spread the gel on my chest then positioned the silicones on them. 'Put your bra back on and get dressed' then looking me straight in the eye 'Those will not come off and a bit of make up on the edges they can look natural. Now, should I keep the release solvent so you can't get them off?' She said with a grin. Next she asked me how my hair was, I said it was fine, but she checked it over and then told me it was getting past it's best, I had worn it for the best part of six months and maybe she could send it away to be reconditioned properly or I could just go with another style, either way I needed some hair so asked what she thought. A new style seemed the best and after a few experiments we decided on a long sleek curling in and onto my chest style, Jennifer Aniston it was called, I called it different and nice, Ruby called it sexy as she secured it with threads to my own hair, when I asked her about care, she told me to treat it like normal hair, wash it, condition it, brush it like I would my own. Well I would but my hair is the tight wiry curls that don’t brush well, but I let it go. Thinking she was through I got up to leave, 'Not finished yet young lady, I have a few treats for that lovely face of yours' 'Oh' I answered. She checked out the eye brows and tweezed out a few extras, then she applied some make up. When she was finished she informed me it was long lasting base coats, I could brighten up the eyes of an evening, but for daytime I need do nothing, and the lips would not lose their color no matter how hard they were kissed, but a little gloss might look good at night. When I pointed out I only wanted to be Kiki for a temporary trail time not permanently she laughed, 'This is all temporary, if you ever want permanent just let me know. Now I think we are done here. Time for you to go and not even think of being a boy'

While I had been allowing Ruby to fix me up she was making suggestions for things I should do. The first I did was to buy stockings and a suspender belt. My next stop was to be the theatre shop to see if they have any interesting stage costumes. There was a nice pink one with lots of sequins and plenty of frills, but it was bit big on me and when I saw the price decided it was out of my range. I then had a text from Steve asking how I was. Text back saying Kiki had been for a beauty session, he was interested by this and we arranged to meet when he finished work. I was outside his office block waiting for him, kissed as we meet and took his hand as we walked to a nearby pub. He first asked about the holding hands 'No problem having a girlfriend is there' 'Well no but I thought you weren't that keen'. We chatted about nothing in particular, eventually he asked what Ruby had done to me, so I played spot the changes. He did well spotting the nose stud, nails and hair, but needed to be told about the makeup, navel and tits. When I explained about the tits he suggested we go and get me a low cut top now I had something to show off, I said I was not sure, but he offered supper if we went to see if the stores were still open. Steve bought a black halter neck dress for me, asking me to wear it when we went out later for the meal. It was while I was changing and sorting out the makeup on my chest that I dropped my bag and everything fell out. Like a hawk he saw the paper with Ged’s number on it. Then he teased me that he would text him asking for a date. I asked him to be sensible but even in my own mind I was not convinced, I had gone to all this trouble to be Kiki, why not see what it is like to be a woman with a man. The rest of our time together was spent listening to Steve telling me how great Chris was. When I asked him about sex he was not very descriptive but he was clearly enjoying the intimacy that he felt. He even made it sound like something I should try out for myself. And then I got a text from Ged. I looked at Steve 'You sent that text didn't you?' Steve just smiled back 'So you going?' Before I could respond he had my phone in his hand and was texting back. Moments later he had set up a date for me the following evening. I played the offended victim in his match making, but he knew I would turn up because I wanted to find out for myself if men were on the menu for me as well. What I was not ready for was Steve's 'birds and the bees' talk about how the mechanics of sex works in my situation, so I knew what I needed to know to enjoy it, and how to keep myself protected.

My first night sleeping with the new me was interesting, my nightdress fitted properly for the first time, this addition also made sleeping on my front hard, but generally the chest, the longer nails, the more mobile hair all contrived to wake me up at regular intervals but no matter how disturbed my sleep was the one option not available to me was removing the new things so I could just get a good night. I eventually gave trying to sleep and got up, to see the new me showering with breasts, long hair and nails that I could do serious injury with. I did check my e mails with a little dread that there could be a computer repair job, but I was relieved to see nothing. Once up and dressed I felt I needed to at least buy a scrunchie to keep the hair off my face at night.
As I walked out of the block a neighbour stopped me and asked if Keane was about, I said that he was away for at least a week, I knew this man would have asked Keane to have a look at his laptop. After he thought about my answer he asked if I would pass on a message to him. He told me what I expected, that his laptop was not working. I suggested that I could have a look at it if he wanted. The look of relief on his face that someone might get it working before Keane returned. So on my way back I collected the laptop and filled my day getting it working and returning it to a happy neighbor, when he asked what he owed I asked what Keane would charge, and the cheeky bloke came out with a price that was lower than I would have charged, but not wishing to say that was low and jeopardize my cover I accepted his cash.

Janet somehow got hold of the information that I was going on a date. She gave me advice on what to wear and how to handle the situation. I was so nervous I was getting ready at five and trying to work out if Janet's choice of the halter neck dress was right. Eventually after I had tried each dress on I agreed, underneath I wore a black set of lace and for the first time wore stockings. At seven I was ready and waited for him to call me to say he was on the street. He was sat in his car when I saw him, so walked over and climbed into the passenger seat. I knew exactly how the evening might go with his first actions. He lent across to kiss me with a hand resting on my thigh. He flattered my new hair, then seeing the new nails picked up my fingers to get a better look, I did wonder how many of the alterations he would have noticed by the end of the evening. We parked near a smart Chinese restaurant and rather proprietarily he walked with an arm around my shoulders, He wanted to be close and be seen with me, but I also felt he was saying 'this girl is mine'.

We had a nice meal and some wine helped me relax, by the time we were ready to leave, I had run through the options of what happened next many times, from going home alone, right up to spending the night with this man and find out if I could enjoy gay sex. As we walked to the car he kept me close, then as we got to the car he gave me the first proper deep kiss, it was a dark corner of the car park and with no one about we kissed easily. After we had raised our heart rate with that kiss he opened the door for me. 'Time to go' he said 'where?' I asked. 'Mine if you want a coffee' I had my hand on his arm as I found myself saying 'coffee sounds nice'. Ten minutes later I am entering a whole new area of experience as well as walking into a man's house. I was in the mood to find out if Steve was right. Ged made a coffee while I looked through his CD collection, he came in with the cups and picked out a Sade disc, very mellow and relaxing. We sat together and returned to the kiss. Some while later he took my hand and told me to follow him. Once in the bedroom he told me to remove my dress, then in my underwear I undressed Ged. Never really having had a close look at a naked man before besides myself. He was so hairy and his erection was impressive. Then he lay me on the bed and put some gel into my hole, and returned to the affection he had shown before. My own penis was straining inside my lace pants, but he was ignoring it while encouraging me to massage his until he rolled me into a position that suited him and started to push it into my hole. Slowly at first, this was a strange sensation, but then it got stranger as he pushed further inside me. I could feel my muscles tightening as it began to hurt, Steve had told me about this and I tried to relax, Ged was pushing harder and as I winced with pain he would push a little further inside. Soon he was all inside, I could feel tears in the corners of my eyes and his penis straining my anus to its limits. But no matter how much it hurt I was sensing something inside me tingling, and there was also the situation that this man wanted me, had found me attractive and now wanted me as a woman in bed. Then as I doubted I could stand it any longer Ged tensed and came. After a few more strokes he stopped and lay beside me, a few minutes later he got up to clean himself, leaving me on the bed. He returned in a dressing gown, 'I have rung for a taxi, should be here in five minutes' several thoughts rushed into my mind. I had five to get dressed and ready for the taxi. what a b######d he just wanted a lay. Then I really felt used. I was out of his house before he could say another word, I was so disgusted with myself and him. The taxi took me home and I had to pay him to add insult to injury. I cried quietly once the door was shut on the world. Eventually I was ready for bed and finally fell asleep.

I woke in the morning feeling quite dirty and used. Texts from Steve and Janet asking how it had gone did nothing for me. If I had not got D cup breasts glued to my chest with no solvent, long hair I would need help unfixing and long finger nails, I reckon I could easily have dressed as Keane that morning. But even in underwear I looked feminine so I dressed in a skirt and top that accommodated my bust. Then settled down to cleaning the flat. While I was doing that I considered what I was doing pretending to be a woman. I spoke with Janet and at five Steve came round and gave me a sympathy hug, I think he felt responsible for me going on the date, but I told I could have said no at any time, but I didn't.
The results of my personal investigations were.
1. I have a job as a drag queen.
2. I like the job.
3. Changing at home is nicer than at the club, so dress to work.
4. I have never felt attractive before.
5. I do like the fabrics.
6. I enjoy the grooming.
7. Male clothes are so boring.
8. I don't have to be gay. Even if Steve thinks I should try it.
9. Ged treated me as a woman (badly I know) but I must come across as a woman for that to happen.
10. I have had 6 months of fun, why let one bad night stop the fun.
11. Being flattered is addictive.
12. I like looking female.
13. Male is just practical not fun.

I also took time to think about the image I wanted to portray on stage, there was April's drag queen look and there was the sexy diva look I seemed to have gone for in the past. I planned on having a look through April's costumes after the show that evening and seeing if I fancied trying anything different. But for that evening I planned on the gold dress as it was the first and possibly still my favorite.

Steve proved that not all men are pigs and was very kind to me that Wednesday evening, coming with me to the bar and making sure I was ok. He later meet up with Chris and from their body language I could tell things were good between them. I did not look through April's stuff but felt I would rather get home and rest. They could wait till another day.

On the Saturday I tried one of April's outfits, a red sequined bodice with Spanish style ruffled train and feather boa to finish off the OTT look. It was ok but I just did not feel it was quite me, and decided I would stick with my diva look unless someone suggested otherwise. I had now done two weeks as compere, the bar was as busy as ever, Pete even said takings were up. My pay was certainly up, in two weeks I had a month’s pay in my hand, plus costume money. I felt good about the situation once again.

Sunday Janet wanted to gossip and help me spend some money. She insisted I had a good figure now I had lost weight and made me buy a boob tube, I wanting to be more modest and bought some hipster trousers that hugged my groin far more revealingly than any skirt and once we were home realized I would need to do some strong concealing in the male genital department before going out in them. She was after what Steve's new friend was in his life, in the end I told her to ask him straight. So she texted him asking if he wanted to meet up, he said yes and I was told to get ready the two of us were going out. But we had time to strip me off and work out how to give me a clean flat front for the trousers. Keeping soft was hard when she touched me, in the end giving me a lovely blow. Once cleaned up we found out that with tape my penis could be taped back and the balls pushed inside. This was not comfortable but looked good, Janet even commenting that if I misbehaved she could make it even worse with just a few gentle strokes. And a bonus was being able to leave the girdle off and wear my more feminine knickers. We meet Steve in a nearby bar, by his side was Chris, it was a straight bar so no affection between them, we exchanged kisses and sat down with our drinks. Janet beat about the bush for a while then looking directly at Steve asked him if Chris was more than a friend. There was a quick look between the two of them, then Steve quietly said yes and confirmed that he and Chris were a couple. Janet did not seem at all shocked, rather she was happy as she squeezed both their hands and said she hoped they were happy. Apparently she had been suspicious of Steve for years but never quite knew. Then she turned to me and said that it was my turn to find someone special. I told her to leave me alone, after Ged I was not ready for anyone else. As we left Steve got a full view of my new outfit, bare shoulders, breasts bouncing in the tight top and no hint of my true gender in my trousers, he hugged me and informed me that if he wanted a girlfriend I would be at the top of the list with a body like mine, I just told him to behave, he knew the truth.

On Tuesday I was invited out by Steve and Chris to meet them for a drink in the evening, I wore trousers and a looser top but still felt feminine. The pair of them were sat at a table with another man who I had seen at the bar occasionally. It was Steve who welcomed me to the table, and as we drank we chatted, Marcus the friend was nice, but it was not until an hour into our time together they got up and left me with Marcus for a lengthy time, I recognized it as a set up, and asked Marcus if he knew about the set up, he denied any knowledge. He seemed genuine and sincere as well as being nice so I did not get all nasty when they returned, but still made Steve admit to getting me there with an ulterior motive. He later told me he wanted to show me not all men are like Ged, and I had to admit he was doing a good job.

I was now into my third week and relaxing into the routine of the performance, I had also been living as woman full time for two full weeks and was relaxing into the gestures and mannerisms of a woman. I had even grown used to the feel of soft fabrics against my skin and having a 3" heel beneath my foot all the time, and that had become the minimum! I was also used to being related to and referred to as a woman. So when on Friday night I saw Marcus in the crowd I was happy for him to continue the friendship from earlier in the week, I even asked if he fancied going on somewhere after I was finished. We had a nice hour chatting over a drink in a late bar. Steve got to hear of this by Saturday morning and was keen to know what was going on. He was round later to check out I was being straight with him when I said we were just having a drink. But come Sunday lunch I was sitting at a table with Steve, Chris and Marcus enjoying the food Chris had prepared. In private Steve and Chris were far more affectionate than I had seen them before and could sense the genuine care they had for one another. They also took care to set things up so I was next to Marcus whenever there was a chance. In the end while we were alone we asked each other if we should make their day and play the couple for them. They came back in with the coffees to find us sitting on a sofa, Marcus's arm across the back of the sofa and me leaning into his body. The look on Steve's face was worth the deception, but saw the joke as we sat up and started laughing. The only thing we did not plan for was that we would quite like the situation and when we left Chris's together exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet up in the week.

Sunday evening renewed the dread of being offered work from the agency, I don't know why I was still being blacklisted, but was relieved to be. I decided that I should celebrate my continuing womanhood on Monday by increasing my female wardrobe. I spent a nice day shopping, finally taking my bags home to try them on again and hang them up in my rapidly filling cupboards. I had several tops, a couple of skirts, but my favorites were a pale green suit with a just above the knee pleated skirt, short fitted jacket with three quarter sleeves, I found a nice silk blouse to go with it and some brown heels with a lovely 4" spike. I knew I could wear the suit to work or to go anywhere, but the item I bought on a whim was a pair of satin knee length shorts with ribbon bows at the hems.

Tuesday and Marcus had called asking me to meet him for a coffee in the afternoon. With nothing better to do I agreed and spent a nice time with him walking in a park and drinking coffee. Steve found out a day later and was over the moon. I wore the suit to work and found out how easy it was to change as opposed to dresses, skirts go down, jackets and shirt style blouses button up the front, why have I struggled with over the head or wriggling over the hips clothes for so long. Thursday I wore trousers to work which took the more observant among the staff by surprise, Jenny did ask if this was a return to the dull boy look, I assured her it was not. Marcus came and watched the show for a while, but was working early so did not stop. Why was I disappointed at this?

Saturday and quite a crowd of friends came to the bar, all the usual ones, but Chris was there with Marcus. As I saw them in the room I did wonder how much the wider group knew about Steve and Chris. By the end of the evening Steve's sexuality was out and he was able to be honest, if a little awkward with his friends. I was not that forthright about Marcus, after all we had only been for a walk up till then, and managed to keep the friends from thinking we were the couple that Steve and Chris were trying to create.

But we were slipping into that situation, when Marcus asked me if I would like to go and watch him play football on the Sunday afternoon, I found myself agreeing to it rather too easily, and even more surprisingly getting up on Sunday and looking forward to going out and watching his Sunday league team that I had never heard of play another team I had never heard of. I made a classic mistake of wanting to look good and forgetting that standing on a touch line is not a place for skirts, tights, heels and thin blouses. Trousers and a warm jacket would be needed if this became a regular event. Which I doubted as sport was not really of interest to me, and football was just 22 men kicking a ball about, but better than rugby where the idea seems to kill the opposition and cricket is to bore the other team to sleep, but they would have given me a chair and a cup of tea from time to time at cricket. Anyway the football was not that interesting except for the fact that I got to see men running about in sports kit and being quite frankly, men. I considered how different to these 22 men I really was, there were anatomical similarities but in every other way I was so different from their rough macho ways I found myself considering that maybe I was more girl than boy. The post match chat confirmed this, Marcus was keen to know if I had seen his good tackles or passes, he even had a strike at goal, he missed but that was not important, well I suppose it was, but the fact I was there to watch was important. He had someone to tell of his feats and skills, and from what I could make out from the other girlfriends I was not in a unique position. We went onto his house after for a meal and as before just found ourselves chatting. It was so natural, we had similar senses of humor, liked similar music, art, books, food, wine, the list seemed endless. The only thing we did not agree on was our sexuality, he liked boys which I did not look like, and I was not keen on them generally, but Marcus was proving to be an exception.

The next week I decided it was time to go and see how April was getting on. Jason had called in at the bar on occasion to keep us updated on her recovery, the last time he said she was up to visitors when I asked. I tried not to say 'You look a mess' but she was bruised about her face still and I could tell her chest hurt from the way she held herself. She was still positive that the physical changes would be worth the current pain, as we chatted I noticed how subservient to Jason she was, it was he who had made the decisions about size and shape of the changes. My knowledge of relationships with cross dressers was being clouded by dominant men, and made me certain that I would not be told what to do. April was full of compliments for how I was looking after the stage, she had heard stories of how I was doing, she had also heard tales of Ged and apologized for not being there to warn me about this man, I just told her I hoped he never got booked while I was there. And as all cross dressers seem to do, she was flattering about my look. Loved the new hair, nails, was impressed with the bare shoulders and was one of the few to comment on the nose stud. I was honest when explained how I was enjoying living full time.

Fortunately I was given no more work from the repair agency, maybe not chasing them to see if I was needed or had I made a bad name for myself with them. I need not have worried, a few jobs came in from friends and I was still getting plenty of money of Pete who seemed more than happy with what I was doing to entertain his customers. He even complimented me on my suit saying how smart and feminine I looked, a far cry from the bloke he had first meet all those months ago. Then he asked how my day job was going, I told him it seemed to be quiet at the moment, he was clearly fishing and suggested he might have something for me if I was interested, I had to say yes as April would want her job back soon and I would need more income. He told me he would see if an idea would work, and then I was off to meet Marcus for our late night drink and chat.

We did more than chat, I gave him a lift to his house and for the first time ever we kissed properly, not just an affectionate greeting peck. Hug, tongues, passion, everything a kiss should be. He asked me if I wanted to go in for a coffee but I declined, he said he understood and gave me a quick kiss then got out to go to his house alone. I almost gave in to temptation and followed him, but I remembered Ged and took my hand off the door handle. That night was a long one thinking that I might have done the wrong thing, then reconsidering his motives and deciding that if he truly is caring he will not run away at my rejection. The kiss had been great though, I could do that again.

Before I got another kiss I had a call from Pete to meet him, he had several contacts all of which used computers and he wanted to know how easy it would be to offer a repair service. I explained my limitations and how software and hardware are different, and how people specialized in different software. But felt it might be something we could work on, then out of the blue, to me anyway I asked if I would be doing it as Kiki are Keane, he said I could choose but from the way he answered I could tell he would prefer Kiki to be doing the job. Then he sat back in his chair and changed the subject. He had been offered a dress that he thought might be just right for me; I asked to have a look. He handed me a bag and suggested I go and try it on before giving him an answer. I did as any employee does, I did as told. In the bag was a lacy/loose knit white dress, long bell sleeves, fitted body, not much room in the skirt, at the bottom of the bag were a satin bra and thong. I changed into them and could not fault the fit, but maybe Pete's taste. He knocked before coming in, I told him it was a bit too revealing, he told me it would be a great stage costume, like a prize cow in a market ring I suggested. He was taken aback by this comment, he truly did not see me as a sex object, to him it was a costume. When I asked him what he saw he replied 'A bloke who makes a good looking woman, and is one of my star attractions as a drag artist' I kissed his cheek and promised to wear it on Saturday when Sean the stripper was due on. He smiled 'that would be great'

I wore his dress plus white heels and big white bead jewelry, against my dark skin the contrast was most effective, but even more noticeable was the effect of the lights on the satin underwear, they shone from beneath the dress. I was ever so glad I had prepared myself down below with tape and nothing was revealed. As always I had a good time on stage with Sean, he was as cheeky as ever and made comments about what I was hiding in the thong. He always managed to make me blush or look shocked at something he did, but that was our rapport and it went down well. Pete after told me the dress was made for me it was great. Then to cap it all a few friends were there including the close ones, Janet thought it brilliant, Steve loved it, Lisa thought I was flaunting myself, and Marcus asked if I would go home with him still wearing it. I said no. But when I had changed I did go back to Chris's with Steve and Marcus as he lived close. After a really nice time Marcus and I left, Steve looking as though he lived there from the way he tidied up and said good night on the door. Marcus offered to give me a lift home which I accepted. When he parked we kissed. As we parted he said he had better be going, shame I replied, I was going to ask you in for a coffee. He went all caring asking if I was sure, I kissed him again and asked him again. We were in the flat next and kissing like lovers. In a pause he asked what had happened to the coffee, I said it could wait, and massaged his groin, he agreed it could wait. He was so different to Ged, he made sure I was ready and comfortable, used lube and a condom, took his time and if I flinched stopped to make sure I was fine. But I was so enjoying this attention I did not want him to stop, my own equipment was taped away, but that did not matter I had no wish to use it. After what seemed like an age of love making he finally came inside me, and I loved the way that I felt used by this man so he could have his pleasure while treating me so tenderly. This I hoped was how all women felt towards their men, though I doubt in reality many men are this tender. After lying together we got up to clean ourselves. I slipped into a nightie, so sexy he said, stop if you want I said. And he did. That was one of my best nights, nights with women had also been great, but for Kiki it was brilliant. I made him breakfast in the morning, and then he had to go and get his football kit before the match, which I dutifully said I would be happy to go and watch. Dressed more appropriately I found myself watching him through different eyes, this was very unexpected, but nice.

Marcus needed an early night as he would be in work early on the Monday, so after a burger meal we separated and went to our own homes, but not before threatening him that I did not want him talking to Chris about our weekend, I really did not want Steve calling me to ask me about how the relationship was going. I suffered the usual dread of being offered work but none came so I happily let myself continue being female. With two days off I planned some shopping and a trip to Ruby's to get the hair professionally cleaned and refitted, and the nails filled and recoated. I walked in wearing my long shorts and boob tube hoping she would be impressed with my figure. She was, noticing the near perfect groin and bouncing chest as soon as I walked in. For some reason Ruby could get me to talk about my situation better than anyone else, she was not close but did know everything about my true identity. I told her about Marcus and about the new dress. The relationship with Marcus did not surprise her greatly, she said cross dressers are not all gay but the straight ones must wonder if they are and some are bound to experiment, so I was not unusual in any way. Her views on my stage outfits were more definite, she knew April liked the drag queen look which in a way sends up women, but in Ruby's eyes April can be quite manly at times, the voice especially can come out deeper than a listener might expect, which is good for the stage, but I had my high range voice which meant in Ruby's words, I need to tell people I am a man and even then she was sure some would not believe it. This revelation did nothing for my male ego, within a few days Marcus had made me feel like his girlfriend now Ruby is telling me I should be a woman on stage not a drag queen. Whatever happened I knew I would still want to dress as a woman so shopped for some warm clothes ready for the next time Marcus wanted me to watch him on the pitch.

During the next week I meet with Marcus once and nothing happened just a pleasant time together. But I did meet Steve who got the truth out of me as to how my weekend had gone, he seemed genuinely pleased that I had found out that not all gay men are predatory and suggested we all get together soon. I said maybe as my male ego was suffering terribly from these experiences, he made me promise to call him if I planned on doing anything silly like being a boy again. I laughed and told him he was taking me too seriously. That week also was the start of Pete's new business venture; a laptop was waiting for me at the bar with a note asking me to mend it. Friday night Marcus was there in the bar at the end and without being discrete made it clear to the staff that I now had a boyfriend, not that I minded at all. He came back to mine for the night and made love to me as carefully and passionately as the first time. Then after getting up late we called in on Chris and Steve, Marcus said he had kept his word but I knew Steve would have told Chris, so for effect I walked to the front door holding Marcus's hand. And once indoors got excited hugs like only gay men seem to be able to do, especially Steve who appeared to be getting camper by the week. A coffee there and off to the bar for me, Marcus promising to come down later, and with a very nice kiss parted.

I walked to the bar enjoying the rather nice shimmering grey silk dress I had bought, it was always a delight as it was so soft and sensuous on the skin as I never wore tights with it. But it was quite long and caressed my calves, the other bonus was the generous amount of fabric in the shirt meant I did not need to hide my male bits too effectively. Well, still enjoying what had been a good week, I walked into the bar, said hello to the staff I saw, and was surprised when Jenny followed me into the back. 'Saw you with that boy last night. You going out with him?' I stumbled over my words but managed to say he was just a friend. She then told me that I was so sexy, and the thought of what I was hiding under my female clothing was driving her mad. Next thing I know she has locked lips and is kissing me passionately. I became swept up in the passion and her desire. The room was not big, but large enough for two of us to move about in. Soon she has a hand up my skirt and is releasing my dick and encouraging it to grow. Without really knowing how it happened I was sitting on a chair with Jenny riding up and down on my erection. She came to a peak and tensed above me, I came as she was relaxing. There were then the after effects, she was apologetic, it was not meant to have gone that far, I apologized for not stopping her. I then thought of Marcus and felt guilty; I also knew Jenny had a girlfriend. We agreed to keep it quiet, but secretly I had enjoyed having my penis inside a moist vagina and did wonder if the sex with Marcus was comparable.

Being Saturday I wore the lace dress, and though I was a little tender did tape myself so I could wear the thong with confidence. After the show I went to change, but feeling quite randy, maybe the after effects of Jenny I decided to just change the dress and leave on the satin underwear. Marcus came back to mine for the night as we had planned, so when I had closed the door, I removed my dress and told him his wish had come true as I paraded around in the bra, thong and heels. We made love on the floor, with the thong I did not need to undress any further, and though uncomfortable my own penis was rendered inactive by the tape. I did however have my first orgasm with Marcus, which took me by surprise, not only because I had one but by the sensations I experienced. Marcus loved it as well because he said he did not like to be the only one to get there, it should be equal enjoyment, and seeing me climax was very satisfying to him.

I woke in a quandary, Marcus lay beside me, but Jenny had reawakened something in me, the straight man. With relief I saw it was raining and that would be a good enough excuse to not watch the football. Instead I spent my afternoon weighing up my options, did I want to be a man, to be a woman, have a boyfriend, to have a girlfriend. Any combination was possible it seemed. I rationalized it down to; I enjoy cross dressing and will probably be gutted when I have to return to being Keane. Marcus makes me feel special, wanted, his girlfriend, female. Jenny though I like her was just sex, very good sex, but she did not really care for my feelings, she just wanted to satisfy her desires. And then there was that climax I had with Marcus, I wanted to do that again.

Having no one other than April I could think who might understand my dilemma I went round to hers on the Monday, I wore the suit to show her I was able to dress conservatively. But when I walked in she told me I looked sexy, I had forgotten that I like women in suits, and why. So I silently agreed and tried to play a more modest role. She was looking better and hoped to be up to coming to work in a week’s time. Her face was still bruised and a little tender, but she was keen to show off her bust, still a little bruised, she showed me what the primary reason for the operation was. Two huge breasts that were showing above her half cup bra. I was speechless for a minute; I asked if they hurt, were they heavy (I knew mine were not light) was she happy with them. She was very happy with them and so was Jason who was growing impatient to handle what he had paid for. I even considered the idea of having it done to me as well, not for Marcus but for me. I moved the topic over to my sexuality and she came over all sisterly. She had been through similar times, she had dressed for a long time before performing, but as a boy had had girlfriends, and up until a year ago had been with a girl she knew who liked men in dresses and bondage. But Jason for her had made her a one man, woman. Jason made her feel special and she would do anything for him, including let him rearrange her features to his liking. I mentioned the breasts again; they are for him I asked, oh yes, she replied, she would have gone for a C cup without Jason. In that comment I recognized how special Jason was too her. I left confirmed in my mind that sex is just that, but if I did something just to please someone they would be special. Though I was still not sure I would have such huge breasts to please anyone. Her parting comment was that I should enjoy life as much as I can, be what I want to be, and go out for what I want. I was only just starting and still young, so plenty of time to play around before settling down to find out who I am. But she did advise me to stay as Kiki, I was far too good looking to throw it away to be a straight boy with a nice straight girlfriend and live a 'normal' life.

As if my weekend followed by the visit to April's had not given me enough food for thought, Janet and Dan decided to call round in the evening, 'To see how I was'. It was clear from their body language that they were now a definite couple, and when they asked about Marcus and I answered with a 'Don't know' they suggested I was mad, he was a lovely man from the little they had seen, and I said it was more to do with who I am, am I gay or straight. Janet made some comment about my equipment working fine, which got a sideways look off Dan, but was told it was ages ago and he knew about our past relationship. They did leave me with the thought that I should not consider it as gay/straight or male/female, I should just be me. And if that I like to dress up and I find the company of one man satisfying, then I should accept that is who I am and relax. Forget the labels, just be me.
The trouble was that Kiki might be down to a weekends only again when April returned. I had made enquiries with my agency but they were saying there was nothing, so it was a relief that Pete asked me to call round on an associate of his who was having computer problems. He told me to go as Kiki, which was fine with me; until he told me they were quite sexist and liked having pretty women doing work for them, which he said made it easier to charge a decent rate. I spent all Tuesday there and had no problems other than a man who kept coming to see if I fine. Turns out he was Pete's friend and was known for liking pretty girls, but he paid well and we were all happy. Me with the job, Pete with his percent, the customer with his dreams.

With all that settled, I was to be me, but this might be the last full week of me being Kiki, I treated myself to a session at Ruby's. I explained the situation and she did my hair and make up for me, and refilled the tops of the nails. She hoped not to see me too soon for a removal job, but accepted that it might happen. I wore my long purple dress for Wednesdays show, and in a way was happy to see Jenny turn up afterwards. I asked her to help me unfasten the dress knowing what might happen, and as I suspected, once I was in my underwear she asked if I fancied a bit of action. I did not have a chance to say no before her hand was inside my knickers. I suppose I could have resisted but she was very persuading and soon I was inside her and sharing an orgasm. When I tried to say that I did not want to do this again, she explained how it was only a bit of fun as she saw it, her girlfriend knew she was not the only partner, but knew she was her emotional rock. I said my life was not like that. Jenny turned it round and asked if I preferred poking her like a man or letting my boyfriend treat me like a girl and poke me. In a rather quick response, but with long lasting implications, I said I preferred being Marcus's woman and have him make love to me, not just sex. She smiled and said she thought so, but if I ever feel the need to exercise my manhood I should just give her a call. Still naked I kissed her and said 'Friends' 'Off course' she replied, and hugged me back. Once back in clothes I could not wait to text Marcus, I knew it was late but sent it anyway. It read 'Love you' he replied 'Thought you did. I love you too' I had never said that before and it made me feel very special to think someone loved me.

The next evening I turned up for work in my silk dress feeling fantastic. Pete called me in first, he could see an opportunity for setting up a repair business, and would I be interested. Off course I would, April was coming back and I needed work. Great he said, when April was back to being the main host he would get some leaflets printed and I could go out to the local businesses and drum up some custom. Another great opportunity to stay with the me I wanted to be. Then when I got to the changing room, I was greeted with a bunch of flowers. No one had ever sent me flowers, the card read, 'So all the nosy staff know that I love you. Marcus' I was overjoyed and put on the white dress in a dream. Marcus turned up later and offered to take me back to his place for the night, how could I say no.

That week I made myself sore letting Marcus make love to me, but I wanted to be his girlfriend, to be his woman. We also talked, he thought the job Pete was proposing sounded good, and a pretty woman will be remembered by customers he felt sure. He also meet April when she came into the bar. In private he commented on the size of her chest, I explained that they were so huge because that was how Jason had wanted them, Marcus said 'really' with raised eye brows. I went on to ask if he would ever want me to have surgery. He said, only if I wanted it, but there was a between the lines yes that I picked up. So I asked the question 'If I had implants, what size would he like me to have, the size I am now, smaller or bigger?' He told me stop teasing him, but I pressed him for an answer. He admitted my prosthetics looked good under clothes but naked not so good to touch, as for size he was happy with them as big as I wanted, though the bigger the better, as a nice cleavage is always attractive. I snuggled up and told him 'One day when we are settled he could help me choose a more permanent shape for my body' he said 'that might quite interesting.'

April was back a week later to do the Saturday show, her dress was stunning, basically it was a halter neck but the soft fabric, came from behind her neck flowed down to the waist leaving a wide V down to her navel and a good view of the newly enhanced chest, strategically place tape kept the nipples covered, the skirt was just soft flowing and split to the hips on both sides giving glimpses of her long legs. By the end of the evening I was feeling envious of her and feeling a little dowdy in my purple dress. Marcus recognized my envy and tried to console me with flattery and by the end of the night making love to me as only he could, I did felt better. But after that every time I saw April flashing her breasts I would be reminded of the idea that I too could have a pair of my own.

Six months later. April is back hosting fulltime, I am doing a couple of evenings with her, and our show is getting more risqué as we develop our routine. Steve had moved in with Chris a few months back and is so camp and clearly under Chris's spell. Janet and Dan split up and went back to casual relationships. I spent a few weeks leafleting businesses, Pete suggested the suit, when I asked why he just said, I would be remembered. So I allowed myself to play a sexist role to hopefully gain custom, and it worked. I gave up my flat to move closer to the bar and work. Marcus at the same time felt he needed a change and we moved in together. As we cleared my flat out I had a big sort out, which Marcus, Steve and Chris helped me with. Unsuspectingly they removed all my Keane clothes while I was doing something else, it was not until I was unpacking that I noticed they were missing, Marcus just emphasizing the fact that he had moved in with Kiki, and by giving me a ring to wear on my right third finger he did not expect to see a bloke about the place
.
A week later he took me for an appointment with the surgeon who had done April, so we could discuss what we might do to make me even more attractive. Primarily to Marcus I said, what do you think? Who said if he got any choice in this, would I mind having a bigger arse as well as boobs? Off course I wouldn't mind and four weeks later my body was 38, 28, 36. I needed new clothes but then isn't that part of being a woman, especially when I was wanting to show off my new body, skirts hugging my bum, tops that revealed some but not too much of the fleshy mounds on my chest. Marcus insisting with April's help that I get a new stage dress. I ended up with a body stocking with three feathers placed over the important parts, which for most of the time would be hidden under long feather edged coat style of dress. I felt almost naked but nothing was too visible and went down a storm with Sean the stripper, as I used big feather fans to hide behind.

It was some months after I was having a quiet evening in on my own, sat painting my toe nails while wrapped in my silk kimono. I felt my nipple tingle as the silk carressed it, sitting back I fingered the nipple through the silk, it was so nice. It made me think back over the events and realised how much I had gained. I was happy and in love, but I also had a body I would never have wished for even two years before, and now sometimes I wanted nothing more than to make myself as attractive for Marcus as possible, which at first had meant permanent D breasts and a bigger bum, but more lately a smaller nose bigger lips. sometimes I do wonder just how far I would go to make myself perfect for him. Which is so subservient I hardly recognised myself in such thoughts.

The end.