I am SLOWLY getting a bit better, but I am still way below normal functional parameters. Again, I apologise to those with whom I usually chat, but my awake times have been so erratic, and I've lost so much time that errands and tasks I'd planned to do, fell by the wayside and got bunched up. I have tons of stuff I have to do, and nowhere near time enough to do them all.

If there is a bright spot in all this, it's that the weather here is supposed to be nice through the weekend with lots of sunshine, so I can get outside and soak up some of it.

I recently purchased some Avon products from: www.youravon.com/peggyhicks and I find that I am very pleased with them. I met Peggy at The Southern Comfort Conference last year and I found her very understanding about us TG/TS/CD/whatever folks, and she is VERY discrete, respecting our need for secrecy/privacy.

Carpe cakum, Edeyn. Hope things are going really well for you in the land down under.

Hugs 'n stuff,
Cathy

Okay, now here's the deal.

I have agonized for months, re: my feminine presentation. Having somewhat low self esteem regarding my overall presentation, I have never, I repeat, NEVER considered myself female looking enough to be comfortable in public. That has gone by the boards. Over the last few months there have been more than a few instances where I have been accepted by people who have no other reason to accept that I am who and what I appear to be. To be accepted simply as just another female is still heady stuff for me, but I LOVE it!

For your good wishes, prayers and everything else that you expressed in your responses to my blog entries about my surgery. You all really helped ease my mind and my fears about it.

What a great bunch of gals and guys you all are.

Catherine Linda Michel

I'll be in Buffalo today at the Veteran's Hospital, getting some surgery done. Unfortunately it's not the surgery I would HOPE for... this is to remove a large, ingrown cyst from my groin area. Hopefully, while they're in the area, and they DO know my desire to have a couple of small trouble makers removed... oh well.

I have noticed that the stories being written in The Home That Love Built universe are receiving considerably fewer hits and comments than I feel they deserve. Are they not exciting enough? Are they TOO full of emotion? Do they perhaps, strike too close to home for most of you? Am I expecting too much?

So why do I feel three days older than dirt? I'm so frustrated right now with the VA, with life, with damn near everything actually. I won't go into any of that in this blog, since you all have your own problems to deal with. Remember that BUTTON story that Grover posted? If that damned button was right here, right now, I'd jump all over that thing... in a freaking heartbeat, and have NO regrets about it after!

So...I'm watching TV a few nights ago, got the dish network now...LOTS more channels and less money than cable. Anyway, I'm on the computer at the same time when I catch a phrase from the TV about a place called, BIKINI BEACH!!!!

Well, of course my ears perked up and I switched my full attention to the TV and what did my unbelieving ears and eyes see and hear? An honest to god commercial about The Bikini Beach Resort and Motel!!!!!

Here's the URL: http://www.bikinibeachresort.com/

I've spent the better part of the last two days lost in remembrance of those I loved who are gone. My parents, my best friend ever, Mikey, John Denver, Mary Travers, Mamma Cass, Karen Carpenter, KimEm, and so many others.

Memories. They come as comfort and pain together, wrapped in smiles and tears, heartbreak and wonderment. I've lost or left so many friends, in so many places that I cannot recall some of them. Imagine that. People who I called friends and was called friend by them...and I can't remember their names...or even their faces. Yet I miss them, one and all.

but I'm too wiped out to write anything right now. I'll blog tomorrow. For now, let's just say that my worst fears seem unfounded. There IS a problem, but not such a serious, life threatening one.

Thank you all for caring.

Hugs and love,
Cathy

so let me set the record straight. Tina and I ONLY have a platonic relationship. That all it has ever been, that's all it will ever be, and I am FINE with that. It's being completely alone in the house that has me spooked. As for a pet...NO freaking way. Been there, been tied down by it, Won't do it again.

I hope this clears things up from my last blog.

Cathy

I have, no doubt, alienated some friends, and have been generally hard to get along with. I know that my health issues are certainly a big part of this. Not knowing exactly what's going on with my health is preying on my mind. Additionally, there is some pain associated with what's going on, and that makes me irritable as well.

I pray the Lord, my soul to keep.

If I should die, before I wake

I pray the Lord, my soul to take.

this is not a suicide note. it's only me, trying to deal with more loss than anyone should have to.

I'm tired, and I want to sleep...that's all...just sleep. Don''t call. Don't message. Just let me sleep. at least in sleep, I can dream I've not lost.

goodbye.

I have recently become aware of a growth in a very sensitive internal area. There is some minor pain associated with it. I am scheduled to see a doctor today and, depending on his diagnosis, I may have to go to Buffalo for surgery, since the V.A. is the only health provider I have.