Anyways I let mom pick out the clothes for me to ware today. I meen she never had a little girl to do it for so I figured why not. I was scared shed pick out something totally sissy baby. But mom picked out this white overall thing. Its like overalls but it has a dress and no pant legs. It comes to my knee. I think girls try to always let there legs show for some dumb reason. I also have a hot pink long sleeve shirt on, GAG GAG GAG. It looks kind of cool coz its dark shirt under white overall. But why couldn't it be green or blue, heck even a dark purple. Not a light purple because that's just like this.

And I'm in sneekers, THANK GOD. My feet were hurting being in dressy black shoes most yesterday.

Mom also did my hair. I think she is liking this, and I smiled the whole time. I wasn't smiling cause I like getting my hair brushed or getting my nails done. Which mom did to match my shirt too. I smiled coz mom was so happy and liking it so much. I think if I knew mom was going to be this happy, that maybe I would of done it and not even get the computer. MAYBE.

Ok Mom hooked me into AOL which is where you chat with people. It's so cool. YOU GOT MAIL, BRRRRRRINNNNGGGG. Mom made 2 names for me, I didn't even know she knew computers. I am TomTer323 I wanted TomTerrific but it must have been taken. And I am also SWTammy154 which mom says stands for Sweet tammy. ICK.

Okay I went on but I didn't look for dirty pictures coz mom was right there and I didn't feel like it anyway. It was nice chatting to people about christmas gifts. I was on as Tammy, I guess I will be until school starts. Girls talk about there clothes a lot. Coz I was in a kid girls chat room and that's what they talked about. What great clothes they got, I told them about my dress and how the baby matched. No one laughed at me which was cool.

Okay, mom went to work. I hate that job. I wish she had a job that she worked until I got home from school then she could be home. Factories suck. Okay anyway I went by my Aunt and we decided to go to wal-Mart. We need another store in this stupid town. We could of went to the mall but that's 40 miles and my gift card is to Wal-mart anyway. I guess I could of waited until after I was done with this sillyness but I wanted to get mom a real gift. Not a fruitcake son in a dress gift.

My aunt was real cool coz she never minds taking me places if I ask nice. She was like but your in a dress and I told her I could change. That didn't work. I tried.

I told her I wanted to get mom a gift, so we went. Wal-mart was insane. Everyone in the world was there which was bad. First off I made a mistake we shouldn't of went. My friend John saw me. So now all my friends will know I'm some kind of fruitcake. He said Tommy and like a total dum ass I said whats up. I should of said WHO or not anything like that wasn't my name. I tried to explain how I was doing this for a real cool computer, but he kept looking at me like I was a total freek.

I wanted to cry. Reely I did, but that would have been a million times worst. If I started to cry I'd be in a dress and crying and I'd have to move to Russia or something cause I'd have no friends. When I go back to school I'm going to have to fight someone. I don't know who, but its going to be the only way to show I'm not some fruitcake whimp sissy fag.

Now here is the weird thing. I ran into Sam. Sam is a girl, her name is Samantha, but everyone says Sam. I guess like my name is Thomas, I HATE THAT DON'T CALL ME THOMAS, but I go by tommy or sometimes Tom. But Samantha is a girls name and Sam is a boys name, so she is changing her name to much. LIKE IM NOT, DUH Tammy is a bit different.

Anyway, she saw me too. I was like great, all the boys know I'm a fruitcake for Christmas and now all the girls will know. She was like Tommy. I smiled back. She totally was like wow you're in a dress. I told her about the computer and she said that was cool. She said she almost didn't recognize me. I would only be to lucky. She liked my outfit and I told her mom picked it out and I explaned that I was doing this for her. She said I was sweet. I liked her outfit to. It was a denim dress and it had little yellow flowers on the bottom. I wonder if I got one of those.

Samantha asked if I liked being a girl, cause I told her that's what I was until school started. Not a real girl, but pretending, you know, for mom. I told her I liked making my mom happy but she said that's not the question. I told her I don't know how I like being a girl coz I didn't think of it. She said fair enough but I should think about it because I looked real cute as one. I said I would but that comment was low. Look real cute as a girl, she couldn't say anything meener.

First thing I do at school is something to her. This way I get back and the guys will no im not a fruitcake. Okay, I got my mom a gift, its real 13 carrot gold plated watch. It is real nice and only cost 20 bucks. Moms wedding ring was only a 1 carrot diamond so this must be 13 times better.

I went over to the toy section, its weird I got 200 bucks and I didn't want anything. It's hard to shop for something cool when your in a sissy dress. I did see something cool but I don't think those little ovens that you bake things in are for boys and if someone else saw and I was buying a girl toy, I'd never leave my bed.

I went looking at software for the computer and games for the ps2. Nothing looked good, this stupid dress ruins everything I tell you. Everytime I looked at something it looked to violent. That's got to be the dress because there is no such thing as too violent. So other then the watch for mom I didn't get anything. I don't wear jewlry. There was a nice chain there with a teddy bear on in. ICK what am I saying. Mr. Diary you are making me nuts so goodbye today.

Friday December 27th: Dear Ms. Diary. I decided you're a miss ecause your pink. It's okay I don't mind that you're a miss so don't be sad.

I gave my mom the watch last night and she loved it. She said what did she do to get such a kind, thoughtful beautiful little daughter. ICK. I wish she would stop calling me beautiful and be honest.. FRUITIFUL. HA! I guess she likes pretending and It's making her happy. She put it on right away to.

I helped her in the kitchen and she taught me how to make chicken cutlets. It was real fun to cook and help. I like spending time with mom, even if its as a girl.

We ate and then sat on the couch and watched a sad movie. It was about a fruitcake guy like me, but he was black and dressed like tina turner. I don't know who that is but mom told me. He worked as a drag singer, that means he dresses like a girl to pretend like I do. But he was taking care of this girl coz her mother was on drugs. It was so sad I was crying.

I tell you it's the nightie, not sleep dress but nightie. I never cry at stupid sissy stuff like this movie. But last night I was cuddling in moms arms and crying coz it was so sad. Mom said its okay to cry. She only said that coz she is pretending im her daughter.

Because rule one of the official boy manual says NO CRYING- If you cry, then someone gives you something to cry about and decks you. I didn't make the rules, I just live by them.

Okay so anyway, I told my aunt I watched the fruity movie and she knew I cried during it coz mom called her last night. Long story short, my aunt agreed to take me to see Lord of the Rings. Mom picked out my clothes again, it was a denim dress. Just like Sam's but it didn't have the flowers. I wish it did it made it look nicer. ICK.

I need to write in pencil so I can errase stupid stuff.

Okay I saw the movie and pretending to be a girl ruins things. I am watching it and was thinking the one boy was really cute. ICK. I don't know why but I was like what if he rode in and picked me up and we rode off and he was my Boyfriend. I wanted to Barf. I didn't like think of it on purpose. It just popped in there and popped out. But I wanted to tell you ms. Diary incase I need to sue my aunt for turning me into a fruitcup.

I decided to go use the potty. I told my aunt and she reminded me to use the right one. I said boys, and she was like NO, you'd get kicked out. She told me make sure I sit when I go make. Okay I never been into a girls potty before. It was weird, it was cleen and there wasn't writing on the wall to call someone for a good time. There arent any pee toilets on the wall either.

I went in to a stall. It was roomy and I sat to go tinkle. Is it me or am I talking like a panzy. I TOOK A PISS. One benefit that girls have is for them to go its just pull down unders and sit and go. You don't have to worry about pants, and you don't have to worry about getting your thing caught in the zipper which really hurts.

The movie was long and it was okay. But it took forever and was to be continued. What a rip off. We then went to McDonnalds after. I got a big mac. Some stuff got on my dress, it made me mad, they always make the burgers sloppy and now my dress got gunk on it. We went right home and cleaned it and put special stuff on it and it is washing right now.

Im just in little kitty unders. They are cute, I wish I had a kitten to play with. That would be fun and there so cute. I was going to play madden but I thought I'd write to you first. I didn't return the doll it is sitting in the box looking at me. I wonder why girls think playing with dolls are so much fun. I liked holding tonya but she is real, that's just plastic fake. Ms. Diary I think I'm going to see what the big fuss over dolls are, I'll write you tomorrow.

Saturday, December 28th: Mrs. Diary, My aunt Caught me with the doll. Okay, I admit, it was kind of fun playing that I was mommy with baby, and I am kind of glad that I was given baby amy as a gift. I named her amy she didn't come named for the record. But, I was practicing breast feeding, coz that's what moms do not because im a sicko or nothing.

My aunt walked in and caught me. I could of died right then. She said awwwww how cute. OH MY GOD HOW EMBARISING. I told her I was pretending to see what it was like and that I could see how stupid it was and I threw baby amy in the corner. My aunt said okay and left. I hope she believed me.

Here is where it got weird, after she left I ran to amy and appologized. I didn't meen to throw her but what was I suppose to do. I couldn't look like a total panzy could I. But I kissed her on the forehead, said sorry sorry sorry and rocked her to sleep and put her in her crib. The crib is the box I don't have a real crib.

Anyway I think that school can't start fast enough, because the more I do this I might turn into a real fruitcake and not a pretend one. Anyway, I got to pick my own clothes today, as long as they were Tammy clothes. I found this real nice blue cotton dress. It didn't have a bottom that went far out like the other stuff. It just went straight down. I didn't feel like poofing out today. I also put on white tights because its cold. The dress was just plain blue, I wish I had a neckless or something to go with it. ICK. I tell you im going nuts.

Okay I found out I was going to Glenn and Alexis house so they can train me a little on babysitting. I got there and thank God I didn't match little tonya. Okay glenn showed me where they kept emergency numbers and a list of things tonya can't eat. She can't eat oranges or anything with lemon in it. Then he showed me how to change her diaper. Ok, this is weird. He put tammy on a towel on the table and untaped the diaper. He took it off and I saw it.

I never saw what a girl had before, I knew it was different but I never saw it. Its not just a hole like my friends say. Its kinda cute I guess. Here is the weird thing, I finally see a girls private and you know what the first thing I think about. Now I figured it would be something dirty, but NO. I was like, I wonder what it's like to have one. Okay maybe its because Tonya is a baby and I'm not going to think anything dirty about a baby that would just be wrong. But why would I think about having one. These dresses are driving me nuts.

Well anyway. I practiced putting on Tonya's diaper. ON HER NOT ME. It's real easy and she didn't fuss or cry or nothing. If that was me and people were looking at my cookie, that's what they call it, they don't use dirty words or nothing, I would cry until I was covered back up.

It was then time for Tammy's nap and I got to give her a bottle of juice. She can use a cup but Glenn says for nap time which is 4 oclock use a bottle and it puts her to sleep. Well I held her in craddle arms and watched her fall asleep. It gave me warm fuzzies on the inside. I then carried her and put her in her crib. She sleeps in a real crib and not a box like my doll baby amy.

Glenn then ask how I'm liking being a girl for awhile. I told him it was driving me crazy and I was thinking crazy thoughts. I didn't go into details but just said crazy thoughts. I wanted to say I beginning to think like a fruitcake, but that would of got him mad.

He said I looked very pretty this way. ICK. I said he didn't have to lie, my mom wasn't there. He then showed me pictures and asked if it would be easier if I looked like the girl in the pictures. Now the pictures the girl was a total hottie. I was like if I looked like her then I guess it would be easy. This is how bad it was, the pictures were of me. Coz the one he showed me last was me and mom standing together. ICK. I thought of myself as a hottie girl. I got to wash my eyes with bleech.

That was a meen trick. But, I guess I am cute as a girl. The problem is I might be cuter as a girl then I am as a boy. Well this ends on next Monday so I don't care. Anyway Sam invited me to sleep over her house and mom said it was okay. Aunt Jan said it would be a good experience. Her parents know I'm a girl for christmas so I'll be Tammy. This is the way I figure it, I'm a spy and I'm doing spy work. I'm not a sissy or a fruitcake. Just a spy to see how girls live and get stuff to use against them. Okay, I'm a cute spy. Bye Mrs. Diary.

Okay I went by Samantha for the sleep over, just to spy you know. Okay, first thing we did was to eat some dinner. Her mom made lasagna, which is probably the best food in the world. Her mom said it was special for such cute company. I didn't know if she meant cute, like handsome or cute like sissy fruitcake so I didn't say anything.

Okay then after that we went into her room. We even closed the door, I'm not allowed to do that at home. Well her room is much different then mine. She has this bed that has a sheet over the top on four colums. It's like a tent, she says it makes her feel like a princess. ICK girls and princesses, as if.

On the wall she had a framed poster of a girl doing ballet. I thought that was weird because Sam doesn't even do ballet. She said she wanted to though that's why it was up there. The girl in the poster wasn't in a tutu. Just a pink leotard and white tites. I wonder how they breath in that, it looks so tight I would sufficate.

She also had a lot of stuffed animals and dolls. I guess that's okay, I have baby amy here at home, and when I came in I made sure she was ok. She was still asleep in her crib. ICK what am I thinking, back to me spying.

Okay, we changed into nighties. Not in front of each other, she has her own bathroom. Her bathroom is all flowery, it looks like flowers and it smells good really really bad. Okay we wore these cool nighties that made us look like cats. They had a way to put on a tail and Sam had fake ears we both can wear. Me and sam are the same size, but I know I'm stronger coz im the boy. Her mom even drew whiskers on us, it was kind of little kid, but we were having fun.

We played house to, she said she hadn't played in a long time but she said she wanted me to play a girl game so I knew what it was like. She even let me be the mommy. ICK. I told her about tonya and how I read her to sleep and how her dad showed me how to change her. She was like all AAWWWW. Girls are so stupid that way. I mean it was cool but why Awww, so gross.

She then showed me her kareoki machine. We put on a show for her dad, we made our own group, the cats. I wanted to be the killer cat's from mars and she wanted to be catlicious which to me sounds so ICK. So we were just the cats and we sang britney spears EEW. I wanted to sing Eminem, but not allowed. My mom doesn't even know I listen to him, but I got it hidden under my bed.

Okay so we sang a song. Then we sang the sun will come out tomorrow. I'm thinking great, didn't mom say something about gay people singing show tunes. ACK. But I didn't like it so it didn't count. Well afterwards her dad and mom clapped and whistled. Her mom said we were divas in the making. AS IF.

Then her dad hugged us. That was kind of freaky. My dad didn't even hug me when he was around. He had very big hands and I was really nurvous I would like it or something. I didn't, THANK God. I meen it is bad enough I look like a fruitcake I didn't want to start feeling like one to.

After that we did each others nails. She picked the ugly red nail polish. The pink one is better though, I mean if I had to pick not that I like it okay. I painted hers and she painted mines. We didn't do lipstick cause it was getting near bedtime.

Get this we were going to sleep in the same bed. I wasn't going to do nothing but I wonder if her parents forget I'm not a girl. Well her mom carried her to bed and her dad carried me to bed. He's strong and it was kind of okay. But I was nervous. Don't tell anyone but I kind of liked being carried, just like a kid though not like a girl. He put me in bed real nice and we got tucked in.

Her mom gaves us a kiss, which was nice, I like mom kisses. But, then her dad gave us kisses. ICK. It was real big and wet on the cheek. They laughed because I blushed. I don't know why I blushed, probably because I felt like a big fruit. I hope I'm not liking this.

I know, after it's done I am going to throw a baseball through mrs. Johnsons window and any girl I see is going to get a snowball upside the head, that will knock this out of my system.

Okay, anyway, we was in the bed and we hid under the covers with a flashlight. It was fun, like camping. We didn't do nothing discussing, we just talked. I told her how my mom was happy to have a girl and that I like making my mom happy. I also told her about seeing the picture of myself and saying I was a hottie. I shouldn't of because she agreed, ICK, IM NOT THE ONLY ONE TO THINK THAT. She said if mom likes it so much I should just stay this way. AS IF THERE'S ENOUGH COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD. I almost hit her but I was just like NO! She said to bad. What she go ruin a good night by saying to bad.

Well we dropped it, and talked about clothes. She wanted to know what I liked to wear. I told her nothing, she laughed and said I would turn a lot of heads that way. GIRLS ALWAYS TAKE ThINGS THE WRONG WAY. I didn't want to tell her that I liked the overall dress or the tights because I don't want her telling everyone. I just tell her my mom liked the green dress, which was pretty nice if I didn't match a baby. Well we must of fell asleep talking because I don't know what we talked about next.

I woke up this morning and Sam was holding me and my head was on her booby. She was up and I thought she would be mad. I didn't like go there on purpose but I could feel the fluffyness of it on my ear. I could hear her heart to, which is kind of cool. Maybe I'll be a doctor coz I like stuff like the heart. I just looked up at her and she was smiling.

Then I realized I was sucking my thumb. I could die. There are 2 things wrong. One I never suck my thumb, not since I was 6. Two I touched a girls booby, even if its with my head and I can't tell no one. I mean I can't tell them I was dressed up pretending to be a girl for mommy and I can't tell them that I was just Tommy, because they wouldn't believe it. Okay so I stopped sucking my thumb right away.

Her mom made us a bubble bath. I was like no way. I never took a bath with a girl and now I did. I can't even tell anyone. Now I know her mom knows I'm a boy cause she helped me get undressed. I think she wanted to make sure I didn't stair at anything on her girl. I wasn't looking because I was so embarrised kind of. I am small there, smaller then anyone in my class especilly after swimming.

Here is some weird stuff. Okay I see sam without clothes, and mr. Willy didn't even move. Maybe I was just scared but isn't it suppose to get big if a girl is nudee in front of you.

Okay we got in and she got one end and I got another. The water felt gritty and it smelled nice of flowers. ICK, I guess. Her mom watched us for a little while, then just left. Is she mad, she left me alone with a naked girl!. Wait, I mean she left her girl with a naked boy, yea, doesn't she know what boys want to do. But, that didn't even come into my mind. I didn't even try to sneak peeks through the bubbles.

We washed and made funny stuff with the bubbles on us. Her boobys stuck out of the water though. I wonder if they like having them or not. I mean do they get in the way or something. I made some on me with the bubbles. I said I was catching up to her. I thought she would get mad and deck me. No she said some girls take longer to start and I shouldn't be embarrised. HELLO IM A BOY, what a fruitcake. I think she said that to make me mad.

It got worst to, because after that we got out when her mom came back. I looked away because you know, I didn't want her mom to think I'm a bad boy and I was afraid mr. Willy would act up. She said, don't be shy we're all girls here, and winked at me. She turned me around and I saw all of Sam. I mean a real look to, AND I CANT TELL ANYONE BECAUSE NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME. Well I saw, and she saw me.

She whispered something to her mom and they laughed. I think she said, he's so small he is is closer to being a girl anyway. I think that's what she said but I wasn't sure. I wanted to tell her about water and it making it smaller. But if she didn't say it I would of sounded like an idiot.

Her mom had us get dried and put on these real soft and fluffy robes. We didn't even tie them and sometimes I could see some of Sam as her mom did my hair. I don't know if I feel bad that I saw a girl and really I don't think I'm allowed or that I didn't do nothing. Anyway, we both had our hair done in kind of the same way, but Sam's is longer and has a little curl to it. Her mom said I could get that way to but would need a perm. Which is like NO WAY. I told her I'd think about it and it looked nice or something.

Well we got dressed together. I don't know, maybe this being a girl for christmas is giving me more then I wanted or could handle. But nothing is going on right because I should be like a drooling idiot and wanting to do naughty stuff but the best thing I said was those are cute at her unders. They were but I shouldn't of said that. I'm going to have to defruitify myself after this and tell her she owes me a makeout sesion.

Well I wore white lace panties, that's what Sam calls them, panties, they were just like hers with the flowers in them. They arent real lace, they just look like them. Then we got white fancy dresses well they are ivory and white. Girls have 100 different whites, they make nothing simple. We got white ankle socks and white shiney shoes. We looked like a matching pair. Girls always like to wear in sets.

When we went in front of her dad he said, wow I have two pretty princesses. DON'T THEY KNOW I'M A BOY, I WAS JUST NAKED IN FRONT OF HER MOM AND HE CALLS ME PRINCESS! I didn't say anything though, just gave him a look and he winked at me. Grr this family and winking.

Well we were taken to see a play in town. It was a musical a matinay of Les Miserables they start it for kids real early like 10 a.m. I heard the title and thought les meant lesbians. I was wrong.

Now these were real good seats we were in the center and everything was so close. But it was a nasty trick to take me there. It was real sad and I was crying. I like never cry and here I was crying it was so sad. I think girls are so weird because dresses make them act stupid, it's got to be the dress right. Cause I bet if I was in pants I wouldn't of cried. I was crying so much her dad put his arm around me and squeezed me and gave me a tissue. I was glad it was over. I mean it was really good and I liked it. But I didn't like crying and people seeing me. I mean its okay to cry if you get punched or someone kicks you in the bad spot, but to cry at singing and dancing, I need to bleech my brain and make it work again.

Okay afterwards we got out it was 12 and football didn't start for an hour. So we had lunch in fancy style. The stupid waiter held the chair out for me and kept calling me miss. I guess I can't blame him, I was in a stupid dress. Okay I ate spagehti and meatballs and was real neat. I didn't spill a smidge of sauce on me. I mean I hate the dress but I don't want to ruin something so nice. But it is a personil record for me to not spill something on me. We then got icecream. Just vanilla but still icecream. It wasn't like a sundae.

Then we went back to the house. It was almost kickoff time. Her dad was like do you like to cheer on the teams. I was like, yeah because my team needed help for the playoffs. He said good, that there was a surprise in Sam's room. I was thinking, maybe a boy toy finally. Like a football or a helmet. When I got into her room, her mom had set up two cheerleading suits. I guess I'm the boy toy. The good thing is I saw Sam undress again, I guess. I wonder why she don't wear a bra, I guess not big enough.

Well I put it on, I guess if I got to be tammy and I was being a spy I should try everything. Here is the bad thing though. After 5 minutes I forgot about being a boy. LIKE HOW COULD I FORGET. I was doing cheers that Sam taught me at half time. It was kind of fun, but you know after this is over I'm going to have to burn you mrs. Diary so now one finds out. Maybe hahahaha.

Well then after halftime I sat on her dad's lap. I'm not use to sitting on men laps. Well now it seems so fruity but at the time I liked having him hold me and squeeze me and stuff. He said I was his goodluck charm, and whenever the team we wanted to win scored, he gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek and one to sam to. At the end of the game we needed one more score and I said I hope you kiss me again. OH NO DID I SOUND LIKE A TOTAL FRUIT. I LIKE DIDN'T MEEN I WANTED A KISS JUST THAT THEY SCORED. Well he did get to kiss me and it made me happy. I hope I'm just happy cause they won and not that I'm a fruit.

We did a cheer after the game. Do you know that when you jump in a cheer suit your panties show. I thought of that while jumping and it made mr. Willy stand up. I thought I would be in trouble but no one noticed. I don't understand mr. Willy when he should get big he doesn't and when I think about my panties showing he just pops up. I think its broken. Stupid willy.

Okay so anyway, mom picked me up and saw me do a cheer and she clapped and was so happy. I was all rosey cheek, she thought I was happy to be a cheerleader, but reely it was because my team won and I was tired. She stayed and talked to sam's parents and me and sam had a tea party. It didn't even have real tea, just pretend. See the dumb games girls play, even if they are fun. Sam said if I come by again we will play older games but I needed to start somewhere. I don't know what she really means. Well mom took me home in the cheering suit so I can cheer the bucs game tonight. I just got home and the game is almost on.