Driven from Normal .

Simon McKenzie started his week normal enough, but after a series of events he found himself standing in a bar wearing a cocktail dress. Chapter 17.

I slumped down in the seat trying to get a little more comfortable as the Stewardess ran through the safety briefing. I was really struggling to keep my eyes open and a heavy sleepiness crept over me. I must have dozed off for a moment but startled myself awake with one of those dreams you have when you miss a step and do a wee kick and wake yourself again. The brief dream I had was a heel breaking off my shoe making me trip. I must have made a weird noise at the same time judging from the lady beside me who'd looked over and was grinning.

The rest of the trip was as boring as any domestic flight. I spent most of the time looking out the window daydreaming, but was surprised when the Pilot announced that we'd be landing soon and for the crew to prepare the cabin. It dawned on me then that I really should have already gone to the toilet, now I'd have to wait until we had landed.

Typically, as soon as the seatbelt sign turned off everyone stood up in the aisle, started getting bags down from the lockers and then just stand there while planning the fastest way out waiting for the doors to be opened. I never really understand why people do that, it really pisses me off.

When the panickers had all pushed their way out enough for me to stand up and move to the aisle, the old man that had been sitting next to me in the terminal with the rattley false teeth, motioned for me to go ahead of him. I smiled then headed out and along the air bridge. As soon as I was in the terminal I made a direct line for the toilets, joining at the end of the long queue outside the Ladies loo's. While I waited I texted Mum to say I'd be a few minutes longer, she replied straight back with a thumbs up.

It wasn't until I finally made it into the cubicle and was sliding my pants down that I realised two things; firstly, how hot and sweaty my legs were in the PVC pants, then secondly, I was about to meet my unsuspecting mother dressed as a woman, and at this point there was no easy way around either.

I had a quick rummage through my backpack for an idea but nothing presented itself. Hopefully Mum would be cool and not blow my secret until we got away from the airport crowds, rather than make a massive scene and embarrass the shit out of me. When I'd finished I straightened my top, adjusted the waistband on my pants and swung my backpack over one shoulder and my handbag over the other.

The toilets were mostly empty now so I took a moment to check my reflection in the mirror, after a brief wipe with the mascara Mel had given me and a freshen up with the lipgloss I was as ready as I was ever going to be.
I spotted Mum before I'd even walked through the doors out into the arrival lounge. She was standing more or less right in the middle of everything looking down at her phone, completely obviously that everyone had to walk around her. I couldn't help but smirk as I walked over and stood beside her.

She glanced up from her phone to look towards the doors, sighed louder than was really necessary then her eyes swept around the area just briefly stopping on me, now standing right beside her. She gave me one of those polite sort of smiles you give a stranger. Not really a smile as such, more just hiding your lips away, then returned to looking at her phone screen.

"That's rude!" I jokingly said.

Mum turned back to look at me, her face drained of expression and I'm pretty sure she mumbled something nasty back to me, but not loud enough for me to actually hear what it was.

"Pardon?" I shot back.

"SIMON?" She splattered out when she finally realized it was me.

"Shhhh!, keep it down Mum, you'll give me away!" I whispered, checking to make sure no one heard.

Her mouth was hanging open while she looked me up and down, then still without saying a word, shot a finger out and poked me, quite hard, straight in the boob.

"Friggin hell!, look at you…. You're bloody gorgeous." She beamed.

“Right-o, calm down!” I growled back.

Mum leaned in and quietly asked why I was still dressed as I was. I brought some time saying I would tell her everything, after I’d grabbed my bag from the carousel and we were safely away from the crowds.

I walked towards the baggage claim area with Mum alongside, still staring at me with a big smile, while at the same time becoming more confused the longer she looked.
My bag had already gone past us and was now on the far side of the conveyor. I quickly off-loaded my backpack, purse and jacket then jogged over to grab it before it disappeared back behind the plastic curtains again, just making it in time by squeezing between two older looking businessmen.

As I retrieved the case I turned to catch one of them blatantly checking out my bum. Being caught gawking didn't seem to be too much of a bother for him, he just smiled and gave me a creepy wink.

“Dirty old perv” I mumbled, then quickly distanced myself from him and headed back to the safety of Mum’s company. I hadn't experienced or considered that kind of unwanted attention over the past week, it made my skin crawl a bit.

“Let's get out of here!” I told Mum and carried straight on, without pausing, walking towards the main doors.

“What's wrong?” She asked

I told her what had happened as we walked out the terminal towards the car parking area, she nodded in agreement when I said how gross it was.
We walked on, deeper and deeper into the carpark. I was following Mum, who turns out was following me, we’d walked right past where she had parked. It wasn't untilI I asked about the location of her car that she snapped out of the trance she was in and looked around, eventually pointing about four rows over.

“I just can't believe how pretty you look! I’m struggling to see my wee boy at all…” she told me.

“It’s all just smoke and mirrors Ma” I replied laughing.

“Where’s your….. You know.. your….” she asked, struggling to find the appropriate words while waving her hand in circles around my crotch area.

“There’s no bulge or anything… you know…. Down there!” she continued on now visibly uncomfortable with what she had just asked me.

The instant temperature rise in my face from embarrassment must have been obvious to Mum and she stammered out an apology while unlocking the car and popped the boot. I chucked my case in, slammed the boot down and told her to hop in and I’d tell her everything. But, bloody hell!, if I thought she had been distracted walking then the driving was next level. First she fumbled with the parking ticket at the exit gate, then when pulling out, nearly ran into the back of a catering truck at a round-about.

“Gez Mum!, Careful…. Do you want me to drive?” I blurted out as she slammed the brake pedal, stopping pretty close to the large steel rear bumper of the truck.

“SHIT!, Sorry… No, no. I'm fine!. But this is all a fair bit to take in!” she replied, still in a fluster.

When we had cleared the Airport roads and had joined onto the motorway, she had finally had recomposed herself to the point where I felt safe enough to start telling her about my week without causing another possible traffic accident.

I told here about Anna, her studio and some of the stuff they’d done to make me into a convincing looking girl. Then how Megan had brought me the clothes and other stuff, which led onto me having to explain about the Gaff panties, and how that was the reason for the lack of “bulge”. Mum seemed to be taking it all in and was only asking short, follow up questions as I talked.

Without any warning, or waiting for my reply, Mum interrupted with “Let's call in here for a drink and a wee nibble!”
Swinging hard on the steering wheel into the car park driveway of a fancy garden centre, that I knew also had a very nice restaurant inside.

“Don't sigh at me! I’m hungry and I have a lot more questions, so suck it up!” she growled.

We found an empty park under a large shady tree. I grabbed Mel’s jacket off the back seat and my purse then opened the door. As soon as I stood up I knew the jacket would not be needed. The warm air, even under the shade of the tree was as warm as it had been in Queenstown at the start of the week. Mum fluffed around loading her phone and keys into her handbag as we walked across the carpark towards the front doors.

“Shit it’s bloody, aye?” I mentioned to Mum.

“Yeah it's been in the mid twenties for most of last week” she replied, jerking the front door only half open. I grabbed the handle and pulled it the rest of the way open for her.

The waitress greeted us with a warm smile then led us towards our table in the outside courtyard, which Mum had specifically asked for. The waitress got us all settled in and left us with a menu each.
Mum was straight into asking a trillion more questions about everything, hardly waiting for my answer before starting on the next one. We laughed and joked about all sorts of stuff , like makeup and clothes that I guess a mother and daughter would normally talk about.

Until then, I hadn’t really given much thought to the fact Mum had never had a chance to do anything like this. She was the oldest child by quite a bit, with two younger brothers that had both lived overseas since before I was born.
Dad only had one brother, who wasn't married, so no sister in-law or nieces on that side to talk with.
I wouldn’t say she was lonely or anything, she had a fairly tight group of really good friends, but she really seemed to be enjoying talking to me and having some girly things in common, and if I was being honest with myself, I was enjoying it as well.

Mum and I had always been ptetty close but there was always something that drew me to confide in Dad as first choice. To be fair, Dad normally just asked Mum what she thought and agreed with whatever she said, so there weren't any secrets between any of us.

I was finishing up my meal and needed to excuse myself for a trip to the toilet. When I returned back to the table Mum looked a bit shocked. I asked her what the matter was and she said I’d walked into the Ladies, when I told her I could hardly use the Mens dressed like this, she laughed and agreed I had probably done the right thing.

Trying to change the subject away from any more questions relating to my toilet experiences over the past week, I mentioned how sweaty the PVC pants were and how hot they are in the heat of the direct sunlight peeking through the shade sails above us.

“Have you not got a nice summery skirt or something else to wear instead?” she asked.

“Ahhh, no!” I replied. "I've only got a few girls' clothes, that all need a wash anyway. Which, is why I had to wear this home” I continued while waving my hands over my pants.

“Okay. Well, we should shoot over to the mall and see what's there. You don't want to be getting round in those pants on a day like today!”

Before I answered, she continued “Anyway, those are really more of a nightclub sort of thing, aren't they? Not really appropriate for day wear”

I must have looked a bit taken back.

“You look lovely, but come on let’s go and have a look in the shops” she ordered, gathering her stuff up again.

“Nah! I don’t need anymore clothes. I've got too many now and I’ll never wear this stuff again after I get home and get these off” I argued, cupping my boobs.

Mum’s mood instantly changed, she looked gutted, the excited look on her face dropped away and her shoulders slumped down like a small kid who'd just had their favourite toy taken away.

“I thought it might have been a bit of fun… Just the two of us… for a bit. Never mind, I’ll drop you home now then. Come on!”

I really felt like a prick, Mum was clearly enjoying herself and I’d just ruined it for her. I took in a large, deep breath.

“I guess we could have a quick look. But I really don't want to buy anything else, understand!” I said.

Her face lit up again, and she stood up straight. I'm not sure if I’d just been played or not but she was happy again, and it really wasn’t a big deal to do this. My current afternoon plans involved bugger all, other than getting groceries. We eventually headed back to the car after a sweep through the Garden centre and adjoining gift shop.

We talked about all sorts of crap on the drive over to the mall and if I wasn't so conscious of the PVC pants, that I was starting to believe might actually be cooking me to death, I would have forgotten all about being dressed as a girl. She asked me more about Mel and what I thought might happen between us. I had deliberately not mentioned anything about Dylan, I just didn't need the extra interrogation that would have brought.

Mum aggressively manoeuvred her car through the mall carpark snagging an open spot from another driver that had "hesitated for too long" apparently. The driver had blasted the horn before giving us the finger and driving off. I figured we'd best just get out of the carpark altogether and inside the mall in case the other driver came looking for us.

I was still busy keeping an eye on our six as we walked through the mall doors, not really paying attention to what was ahead of me.

"Lilly!" An unfamiliar voice said.

"Hello Susan, how are you?" Mum replied to the lady standing directly in front of us and now blocking the doorway.

The lady wasn't someone I knew, well I didn't think I did. She was Mum's age at a guess, very tall and well dressed with lots of expensive gold jewellery. You could tell just by looking at her that she came from old money. Without much encouragement she sailed right into a massive story about how busy she was, how the new house build was too stressful so she was really looking forward to getting away on Thursday to Fiji for ten days to relax.

"Susan" must have talked all about herself for a full three, maybe four minutes all in a single breath. It wasn’t so much what she was saying that impressed me, but the fact she must have been able to breathe through her ears or something. When she'd finished talking she let out a loud over exaggerated sigh of exhaustion.

"...and what about you?" She asked Mum as she glanced at me standing off to the side.

Mum started to talk and was quickly cut off again…

"...and who's this with you?" Susan bluntly asked, giving me another once over.

"Hi! I'm Simone" I replied with a polite smile.

"Oh sorry. How rude. Yes, this is Simone. My cousin…. Well, second cousin technically. She has been staying with us for a few days while she's down here for a job" Mum rapidly blurted back.

Mum then continued on telling Susan a massive load of bullshit about how I was a model from Auckland, how I'd been down for a huge modelling job, and had stayed with them for the last few days. I listened in complete awe, trying to keep up with the background story about me, or "Simone" being fabricated on the spot, right in front of me. I was genuinely impressed with all of it!

Mum then went straight on telling her about me "Simon" and how I was in Queenstown filming a TV ad, and how proud she and Dad were of me. That was all a little surreal, but a nice experience at the same time. I just carried on smiling politely, adding an occasional nod.

To be fair to Susan, she listened to what Mum was saying and I thought was genuinely interested, right up until Mum asked her about "Evie"?.
With that, Susan immediately changed the subject and excused herself, saying she was late for an appointment and quickly walked away without so much as another glance at us.

Mum grinned and gave me a wink, then when Susan was fair enough away that we couldn’t be heard, Mum explained they'd been at school together. Susan had always looked down on Mum and took every opportunity to rub it in how much more money she had.
Her daughter "Evie" was the golden haired child and was gifted in everything she touched. Mum burst out laughing again.

"Evie was such a princess, right up 'til she got in with a gang member and got hooked on drugs"

Mum forced herself to stop giggling and added,

"It's terrible really. She was a nice girl, but her effing mother pisses me off so much. Big time bitch….As soon as you mention her name she changes the subject and takes off…. It's the best and fastest way to get rid of her!"

"Wow! Remind me not to get on your bad side then!" I replied.

Mum gave my arm a gentle push.

"And…where did all of that bullshit about me come from?" I asked.

Mum shrugged and smirked as she guided me through the glass doors of the first of many, many shops.
Yeah I'll admit it, I actually had a pretty good time, hanging out one on one with Mum was awesome. We laughed more than I could remember in ages, she'd be picking things out of racks and jokingly suggested I should try on, the uglier they were the harder she laughed, which was quite contagious.

I was finally forced into trying on a dress she found in one small upmarket boutique shop that she said would really suit me, a reasonably short, sleeveless summer dress, in white with soft pink flowers printed on it, it was super femine, but I surrended and agreed to try it. After a brief battle in the changing room getting the sweaty black pants off, I slipped the dress over my head and let it fall down into place, I adjusted the belt thingy around my waist and stepped out to show Mum how it looked.

She covered her mouth and sort of looked like she was about to burst into tears, just managing a softly whispered "So pretty…"

As I looked in the mirrors and turned side to side, I instantly realised how much cooler I felt. The dress was light and floaty, far more comfortable than the sticky black pants now dumped on the floor in the changing room, and Mum was right, it did suit me, bugger it all. Looks like I will be spending a bit more on girls clothes then, I thought to myself.

I asked the sales lady if I could wear it now, the task of trying to get those pants back on did not appeal to me at all. It was no problem, she removed the security tags and while I paid she even folded up my old clothes and neatly put them in a bag for me.
I had to assume that from then on Mum was on some sort of commission for the mall, she went into a shopping frenzy, forcing me into trying on all sorts of things at every shop we went in. My attempts at avoiding more purchases were in vain, if I tried to argue about spending more money, Mum just brought whatever it was anyway if she liked it or I had given her any indication about the thing in question being nice.

After a few hours we each had a healthy armful of shopping bags. I'd just been talked (or gently bullied) into buying things I had no idea if I'd even wear; new jeans (girls jeans), some tops, skirts, a dress or two and even another pair of high heels that "looked fabulous". I actually wondered where I would keep all this stuff, my wardrobe wasn't huge and was already chocka full of stuff.

I was absolutely knackered and really needed a rest. We found a Café, ordered a snack and a drink then headed to an outside table with a large umbrella.
Before I had a chance to sit down Mum grabbed her phone and made me do a few poses as she snapped photo after photo, I handed her my phone for a few photos as well. Yeah, yeah, I know, I really was having a good time and getting right into it.

Mum took along sip on her coffee then looked up at me with a huge smile,

"I've really enjoyed today… Thank you Sweetie" She said.

"Me too Mum, it's been good fun, aye." I paused and looked at the heap of bags beside us,

"I've got no idea what I'll do with any of this stuff we've brought though?. It's not like I'll be able to wear it after I get home and get rid of this stuff on me now." I told her as I pointed to my fake breasts and slapped my thighs.

"Yeah, I guess, but you never know. It would really be a shame not to see my pretty daughter again."

"Mmmm…" was the only reply I came up with as I opened my phone and looked at the photos Mum had just taken.

One of them looked really good and I told Mum I was going to add it to the "Simone" Insta account.

"Holy shit…." I blurted out when I opened the Instagram profile.

"What's wrong?" Mum inquired.

"Nothing's wrong Mum… I've almost got seven thousand followers on this account!"

"Is that good?" She asked.

"Very good. I only started it a few days ago. And look at the requests…"

I handed my phone over, she squinted at the screen for a sec before taking her glasses out of her bag for a better look.

"Who are they all from? Mum asked, handing it back.

"Ummmm, fans, admirers... Some businesses that want me to advertise stuff for them, and…"

"And… what?"

I turned my phone back to face her, revealing yet another one of the many dick pics I'd been sent.
Snatching the phone off me for a better look she laughed and said,

"Ewww, who's sent that to you, and why is it all distorted looking?…"

We both burst out laughing causing the people at the tables around us to look over, that only added to the laughing fit.

....to be continued.