Chapter 5 The Date

I was now seriously into painting the industrial landscapes and was building up quite a portfolio on the website run by the printers, and sales were going well, the income was now more than enough to pay my household bills. Lexie Robson was gathering a cult following amongst a lot of the art world, and even some well-known smart London Galleries were buying the prints and selling them at a lot higher price than I was getting from the website sales. I had given a set of prints of the images of Killhope to the museum there and they ordered more in various sizes for sale in their shop. Along with continuing to use the Maltby Arms as my personal gallery my studio was becoming a feature of the local tourist trail.

As some of the industrial heritage paintings were quite a niche market I started on other general historic sites, the Roman forts on Hadrians Wall; the ruined Abbeys and Monasteries, relics of the reformation under Henry VIII; National Trust Country Houses; the numerous castles in Northumberland and Cumberland, remnants of the border skirmishes with the Scots: and some of the glorious landscape vistas that I passed through on my travels to the various sites.

Living as Lexie was now becoming normal for me, wearing skirts, dresses, and the occasional leggings or women’s trousers was just an accepted part of my daily life, and I rarely thought that I was doing anything out of the ordinary. I was sleeping soundly, uninterrupted by dreams of visits from Charlotte, and life was generally calm and good.

One morning as i was working in my studio, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a call from Jim at Eggheads. “Hi Lexie, the show with you’ll on should be broadcast the week after next, keep an eye out for it in the schedules and get your DVR set up for it.”

“Thanks for letting me know Jim, do you do that for everybody?”

“No, just for ones we are particularly keen on and the ones who do well. That is not the real reason I called though, I was thinking would you like to get together for a drink or a meal sometime, it would be nice to meet up again?”

I was totally flustered, although I had now been living as Lexie for a few months, it had not even entered my head that anyone would be interested in me in that way. I needed time to think about it and decide whether it was fair to lead him on with him thinking I was a woman, it suddenly brought my situation back into my mind again.

“Thank you so much for thinking about me Jim, I truly appreciate it but I am throwing myself into my work at the moment, and I am not sure if I have the time to spare.”

“Oh, come on Lexie, you need to have a break sometime, you know what they say ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’or in your case ‘Jill a dull girl.”

“You’re right Jim, that was a bit sharp of me, it will be really good to see you again. How about if I meet you at The Bay Horse in Wolsingham, just for the moment I would like to keep away from St John’s Chapel.”

“I know the place, it sounds ideal. Are you free on Monday, at 7:30?”

“I’m looking forward to it, it will be a nice change.”, little did he know how much of a change it was for me.

I called Josie and arranged to go round to see her as there was a favour I wanted to ask from her. Half an hour later, after quickly changing and freshening my make up I made my way round to her place.

“ What’s all this big secret about Lexie?”

“ I’ve agreed to do something and I am not sure if I am doing the right thing.”

“Stop messing about, just come out with it, you can’t keep me dangling on a string like this.”

“I had a call from Jim, you remember him from the Eggheads. Well, he asked me out for a drink and I agreed to meet him.”

“ And? Why do you so desperately need to tell me this?”

“In case you have forgotten Josie, although I might look and dress as a female and even talk and act like a woman, I am a man, and there is no future in any relationship, so why bother and just lead him on?”

“Just think Lexie, for many months now you have been living totally as a woman, everyone accepts you as a woman, unless you are intending to soon return to life as a man, you need to start thinking like one too. Jim is attractive, pleasant, a bit of a charmer, and he obviously likes you as you are. What is stopping you going for a drink and an evening out with him, you might enjoy it?”

“I’m new to dating as a woman, in fact it is a long time since I dated as a man come to think of it, and I am not sure how to deal with it.”

“Why not give it a try, what harm can one night out do, I’m sure that he will be as nervous as you, and he won’t be expecting you to jump into bed with him.”

“Will you do me a favour? Can you and Russell ‘accidentally’ bump into us and make up a foursome, I will be a lot more comfortable? I’m meeting him in the Bay Horse next Monday.”

“Ok, I’m sure that Russell will go along with that. It will be a pleasant change to go out in a group, not that we need company to keep us amused, it just is nice to mix with someone else occasionally.”

“As I said, this is all new for me, what should I wear, what do we talk about. and how do I behave with him, it’s all so confusing? My mind is all over the place about this, I’m still not sure that I am doing the right thing.”

“Don’t be daft, you need to get out a bit more, other than the weekly quizzes you are locking yourself away working in your studio. You don’t need anything too dressy, but that’s exactly the right question girl, maybe you are more switched on than you realise. Nothing too fancy, just smart, like the stuff you wear for the quizzes down at the pub, but maybe a light blouse rather than the tops you normally have on. Let me know later what you are wearing and I will try not to outshine you. When you are out with us girls, you join in the chat like the rest of us, just be yourself, or yourself as Lexie, and the conversation should just flow. Ask him about his work, men always like that, and act like you are really interested in what he does, ask about his family and friends, When we arrive, if you are unsure just follow what I am doing. Another question for you though, why come to me rather than Julie, you seem to spend most time with her?”

“Oh, that’s easy, I wanted a double-date, you are still in the game, and it is not unusual for you and Russell to have a night out. With the others there would be all sorts of questions from their husbands. I’ll give you a call to let you know what I am wearing and I’ll see you there at 7:45, if you arrive a bit later than us it will seem to be an accidental meeting.”

After a walk-on the fell on Sunday afternoon to clear my head of the doubts I still had as to whether I was doing the right thing, my evening was spent getting ready for my date with Jim, removing all my body and leg hair, covering myself with moisturising body lotion. painting my fingernails and toenails, and then setting my hair in rollers. I thought back to how much easier life was as Leckie, a quick shower, brush my teeth, and I would be ready to face the world.

As Josie had suggested I did not want to appear too dressy, I just put on a cream knee-length straight skirt with side slits and a cyan half-sleeved v-neck satin blouse, which Josie called stylish and sophisticated when I called her to let her know what I had chosen.

When I arrived at the Bay Horse, I entered nervously, it was almost like being a teenager again on a first date, which in some ways it was, it was my first time out other than with the girls, but I just took a deep breath and made my way inside. Jim was already there sitting at a window alcove table and he waved me over, stood up to greet me with a kiss on the cheek, and went to the bar to order drinks.

“I’ve been here for a while, I didn’t want you to arrive and be on your own, I know that a lot of women are not comfortable sitting in bars by themselves, you can be a target for all the boys that are trying to impress their mates by chatting you up.”

“That’s very gallant of you, but you are right, even if they don’t come over to say anything, you can feel their eyes on you, checking you out. Anyway, we are both here now, tell me a bit about yourself, Other than the fact you like quizzes and are involved in TV productions, I know nothing about you.”

Jim was very easy to talk with and we soon knew a lot more about each other. We were comfortably chatting away, and the time quickly passed. I didn’t really notice that Josie and Russell had not arrived, and in a way I forgot all about them, I was enjoying my time with Jim too much.

“Is that one of your cousins that has just come in, over there by the bar?”

Josie was looking around and caught my eye, and walked over to us.

“Hi Lexie, this is a nice surprise, do you mind if we join you or would you rather be alone?”

“Of course Josie, come and sit down. This is Jim, from Eggheads, remember, we’re just out for a quiet drink together, you are not interrupting anything.”

Russell came over with a tray of drinks, he must have looked over to see what Jim and I were drinking, or asked the bar staff, because he got it right. I introduced the guys to each other and we had a quick chat before Josie got up and headed to the ‘Ladies’, “Are you coming too Lexie, there is something I need to tell you?”

When we were safely out of hearing she smiled at me. “How is it going you seem to be getting on ok? Do you want us to hang around or would you rather we say that we have to be somewhere and leave you alone? Sorry, by the way, for being an hour late, I thought that we would let you have a bit of time together first.”

“To be honest, i didn’t realise how much time had passed, we were just enjoying getting to know about each other.”

“That’s a good sign, he seems like a nice bloke, just take it slowly with him though.”

We freshened our makeup and went back to the table and for the next couple of hours we all got on famously, there was a constant chatter between us and it was a shame when it was time to leave.

With hugs and kisses and a whispered” Are you alright being left with him?” from Josie, they left us in the car park.”

“Thanks so much Lexie, I’ve enjoyed tonight, can we do it again sometime soon?”

“Of course we can, give me a call.” I replied, reaching up to put my arms around his neck and drawing him in for passionate kiss. I hadn’t planned that , it just seemed the right thing to do, and I think it surprised him, he didn’t seem to be expecting that.

With a bit of a blush from the kiss, which had sent a shiver of excitement down me, I made my way back to my car and sat for a few minutes just to collect my thoughts and consider what I had just done. When we had planned tonight’s accidental meeting, Josie had told me that i needed to start thinking like a woman, but that kiss had taken it further and I had actually felt like a woman at that moment. As I drove off, I noticed that Jim pulled away after I was on my way, having seen that I had got away safely, it gave me a warm feeling that he was being protective towards me.

I was soon safely home, cleaned up and ready for bed and lay there my mind buzzing thinking about Jim and that kiss. I didn’t know what had driven me to it, but I knew that at that moment I had approached the point of no return, and for the first time began to accept that it wasn’t just convenience that kept me living as a woman, but that it seemed the right thing for me to be doing.

As I was dropping off to sleep , I had a vision of Charlotte standing at the end of my bed.

“Let me sit with you Alexandra, You are beginning to discover where your life may lead you, but I can help you understand a bit more about why you are here.”

“Are you driving me to becoming a woman? Is this a hatred of men for what James did to you?”

“ Far from it Alexandra, I am not forcing you to do anything, any choices you make are your decision, I am just showing you options for what path your life can take. You make a beautiful woman, you have inherited all the best features of the Robson family. You have now with that kiss tasted some of the pleasures of womanhood, enjoy them while you can.”

“Why pick me, Charlotte, there must have been others in your family who could have discovered the truth of you and James.”

“ The truth does not just affect me Alexandra it has influenced your life too.”

“I don’t understand.”

“ Let me put two images in your mind which will help to explain your connection to me.”

I had a vision of James and another man having a fight, which was broken up by several bystanders who gave the other man a severe beating, and left him rolling in agony on the ground. The second image was of Charlotte hugging a younger man who then walked away carrying a small suitcase.

“When Harold, my brother, your great-grandfather found out what James had done to me, he went over to Killhope to have it out with him,.They had a big argument and a fight started between James and him, but some of the mine workers joined in and beat Harold almost to death. As he walked away James told him. ‘If you know what is good for you and your family, I never want to see your face again, get out of my sight and away from the dale.’ Harold managed to get back home, crawling and limping and collapsed at the door. It was a few weeks before he fully recovered from his beating and was able to get about again. He told us about the threat to the family if he did not leave the dale and decided that it would be best if he went away. He packed his few belongings and left, never to return.”

“ So, that is how my family came to be living in the Midlands, well out of the reach of the Graham family?”

“ So you see, it is not only the wrong that James did to me that needs to be righted, but what happened to Harold too. He was forced away from his home and his family. At first there was the occasional letter from him but they did not last long. Until you came back to Manor Lodge to reunite our family, we had no idea of what had befallen him. He did not even dare to return for the Christening when Arthur was born a few months later, he never got to meet his nephew. Think about what I have told you and we will talk again.” She just faded from sight then, leaving me totally confused, I had never before believed in the spirit world or ghosts, but it was too vivid and detailed to just be my imagination in a dream. I slept fitfully, and every time I woke up my mind was buzzing with all the things Charlotte had said, and I was not particularly refreshed as I made my way down to the kitchen in the morning, when I was interrupted by the phone tones.

“ Hi Lexie, you seemed to be getting on well with Jim last night, Russell and I saw you in the car park before we drove off. I know I told you to start thinking like a woman, but you don’t do things by halves do you, that wasn’t just a friendly goodnight and thank you kiss, was it? Are you seeing him again?”

“I guess so Josie, I mean I hope so, I’m glad you convinced me to have a night out with him, I really enjoyed being with him. He said he would give me a call to arrange something else soon. Are you going down for the quiz tonight, there is something more I need to tell you all about Charlotte’s story?”

“I wasn’t going to but now that you have given me that teaser, I have no choice, I’ll see you there later.”

As all the girls were there, Julie agreed to help Kelvin behind the bar, leaving the other four of us to do the quiz. As was now becoming regular, we won again and Julie came to join us with our prize, 3 bottles of Sauvignon Blanc, and a collection of clean glasses.

Josie was not going to let me tell my story in my own time and immediately took over the conversation. “ Right, Lexie, you have kept me on tenterhooks far too long, what is it that you promised to tell us.”

“After I got home from my night out with Jim I….”

“ What night out with Jim and who is he?” interrupted Jane, “You kept that quiet.”

“Jim, from the Eggheads, he called a few days ago and asked me out for a drink. I just met him for a drink and Josie and Russell happened to turn up at the same place. Anyway, I’ll tell you about that later”

“You are going to do that, we want all the details.”

“As I was saying, after I got home and into bed last night, I had another visit from Charlotte, and you may not like what I have to say Josie. Apparently my great-grandfather Harold was badly beaten by James and some of his workers and was forced to leave the area after he confronted him about the way he had treated Charlotte, which is why my side of the family have been living down in the Midlands for the last hundred years or so. So Charlotte is not only asking me to right the wrong done to her, but also trying to welcome me back into the family, which Harold was forced to abandon. That is why she has chosen me me to help her change the destiny of us all. So maybe.James was not just manipulated by his family but that he was knowingly leading Charlotte on and using her, and was not the nice kind genuine lover that we thought he was.”

“That’s a bit of a turn-up, I had a bit of sympathy for him, but, if you are right, he doesn’t deserve it. and maybe it was best that the two families drifted apart and never joined together.” Jane snapped back scowling

Josie sat quietly considering what I and Julie had said. “ But you have met Russell, he is not like that, I am not going to let something that happened 100 years ago spoil what I think of him, just because his ancestors were not nice people doesn’t mean that he is the same.”

“Josie, Has Russell found out any more from his family about the story of James and Charlotte?”

“Not a lot, his parents didn’t know anything about a family scandal, and his grandparents just quickly changed the subject when it was brought up. Obviously they knew something but didn’t want to talk about it, so everything you think you have discovered is all probably true.”

“ Ok,I think that is all there is to that at the moment, now you have to tell us all about Jim, come on girl, spill the beans.” Jane was not going to let the matter of my date drop, and I told them all about the call from him, and meeting him and getting to know him better.”

“You forgot to mention the goodnight snog as you were leaving Lexie.” Josie smiled and brought a blush to my cheeks.”

“It just seemed to be the natural thing to do at the end of a really pleasant night with him.”

“Are you trying to tell us that you didn’t enjoy it, because if you are, I for one don’t believe you. You are becoming more of a girl every day Lexie, I find it hard to think of you as a man anymore.” Jeanette completed the questioning of me.”

Lying in bed later I thought about their reactions. They were just treating me as one of their girl friends now expecting me to continue going out with Jim. Was this what I really wanted, to live my life like any other woman, or was I just playing at it, I really needed to seriously consider my future.

To be continued.