We were having a riotous time, it was lunchtime Christmas Eve, the office was now closed as the money exchanges were all shutting down for the holiday. We had just been informed of our record end-of-year bonuses at Versatility Hedge Fund and were all out celebrating big-time in a local wine bar. Most of the finance houses in the City of London had seen a good year, but ours was exceptional, the senior partners’ bonuses were in tens of millions, traders were getting between one and ten million, personally I was getting four million, and even the junior clerks were getting tens of thousands of pounds.

We were all getting raucous and uncontrollably drunk on overpriced top-brand champagne and vintage wines along with an endless supply of unhealthy tapas and snacks. It had been a hectic year, we had worked hard and played hard in a very stressed environment and were making the most of the holiday break.We were young, wealthy, and hedonistic with no consideration for anyone or anything other than making more money and enjoying its benefits, I was the life and soul of the party and throwing myself into the festivities when all of a sudden I felt a piercing pain in my chest and my world went black.

The next thing I knew I was lying in a bed, seemingly a hospital bed, surrounded by machines making all sorts of whirring and beeping noises, with sensors and tubes all over my body. I felt terrible, my body ached, my mind was fuzzy and I could hardly move. Suddenly bells started ringing and a nurse and doctor came running in and quickly examined me.

“ That’s a good start, you’re awake at last, we are running out of time. We’ll do a few more checks then start preparing you for theatre.” the doctor told me while checking the various machines around me.”

“ Wwwwhat?” I managed to mumble.

“We haven’t got any time to spare to explain it to you, we’ll talk to you after it is all over, but you are in good hands, don’t worry.” I thought to myself if there is any phrase to cause worry it is ‘Don’t worry’.

Other medics came in, checked the machines again, held a muffled discussion, one gave me an injection and then things went fuzzy again. The last thing I remember was a smiling nurse who reminded me of my sister, leaning over me whispering “My name is Caroline, get yourself fixed up and I will see you soon.”

When I woke up she was the first person I saw, as she turned and smiled before leaving the room. “Everything will work out fine now, I’ll go and get the others to look after you.”

There was another flurry of doctors and nurses fussing around me and they soon all left leaving only one middle-aged doctor behind who seemed to be in charge.

“ We’re glad you are back with us Chris, I’ll explain what has happened to you and what we have done, please do not try to ask questions just listen carefully to what I am saying.”

He had me worried, but I was still tied in to a lot of machines and didn’t have the will to argue.

“You are in the Royal Brompton Hospital. You have had a massive heart attack and almost died, in fact we did have to resuscitate you. That was not the end of the problem however, the attack triggered a breakdown of some of the valves in your heart, it turned out that they had always been weak and liable to failure, but luckily for you had never caused you any problems before. The heart was so badly damaged that there was no choice but to give you a transplant. Your sister Jane signed the consents on your behalf after we explained that there was really no choice if you were to have a chance of living.

Normally there is a long wait for transplants and all sorts of conditions to be met before we use a donor heart, but fortunately you are otherwise quite fit and a matched donor became available within the two weeks that we kept you in an induced coma so that we could control your primary functions with machines. For the moment all you can do is rest, we have you on mild sedation so that you do not get too worried or excited, so everything will seem a bit dreamy for a few days. I’ll leave you to rest now and will come back soon.”

After he left Caroline came in and sat next to my bed. “I told you that things would be fine, and they can only get better. Hopefully that is you sorted out to be able to live a long and happy life, but there will have to be a lot of major changes in your lifestyle and you will have to adapt.”

I lost track of time while I recovered, gradually being moved from Intensive care onto a general ward for recuperation, before eventually being discharged. I was still not fit enough yet to fully look after myself so I arranged to move in with my sister, Jane, my only relative and the only person to come to visit me. I was under strict instructions from the hospital that I was to take things easy and not get stressed, and that I could no longer continue my high-pressure job and the unhealthy lifestyle I had previously been enjoying. Jane really played the part of older sister, surrogate mother and nurse, to make sure that I complied, there were only the two of us, our parents had both died and we had no close relatives except for each other, she had no intention of losing me too.

I phoned the office and resigned from my position at the Fund, much to the disappointment of Charles Murray, the senior partner, who was sorry to see me go, but he understood why I had to do it. He apologised that I had been neglected by my colleagues, he had been out of the country on a skiing holiday for a month and nobody else thought to check up on me, they were all wrapped up in themselves making money. I thought to myself ‘So much for all the camaraderie down at the wine bars’, it was all so shallow, I didn’t think that I could call any of them real friends, just drinking partners.

I cancelled the lease on my very expensive docklands furnished apartment which I could no longer afford anyway without the high-roller salary, moved all my clothes and personal possessions into Jane’s town house in the suburbs and settled into my new quiet calmer life.

I was bored having no job and not being fit enough to do much, so for several weeks I just pottered about the house all day, in jogging pants and a tee-shirt or hoodie, keeping the place tidy, doing a bit of cooking, organising internet shopping deliveries and reading. I even started watching daytime TV, which is mainly aimed at women but soon adjusted to the celebrity gossip and lifestyle programmes and even the rom-com films which I had previously avoided.

Luckily I had built up a very healthy bank account and personal investment portfolio while working at the Hedge fund, and the final bonus was the icing on the cake, money problems were the least of my worries. I started playing with my investments again, but only with thousands rather than the millions I had been gambling with at Versatility. Using the expertise I had previously gained I was soon making enough to pay my way without having to worry about getting another job as long as I didn’t go back to my old expensive hectic social life.

I was a lot more relaxed now, eating more healthily, the weight was dropping off me, and I was sleeping a lot more soundly despitehaving vivid dreams. For some reason the nurse Caroline kept coming into my thoughts and dreams and even though I hardly knew her I kept remembering her words ‘There will have to be a lot of major changes in your lifestyle and you will have to adapt.’

I was also thinking a lot about the times Jane and I had spent together when we were growing up and the things we had got up to. Near-death experience really make you look at your life.

“Jane, I’ve got too much time on my hands, and have been thinking about all the games we used to play, and seeing some of the discussions on daytime TV I remembered some of the times when you and your friends dressed me up in your clothes and we went out together.”

“They were fun times Chris, you were actually quite believable as a girl, nobody ever recognised you or picked you out, you even came with us on that short holiday break at Jennie’s uncle’s caravan and for the whole weekend you lived and dressed as a girl, it was a scream. We had some great times too with Mum and Dad, I often think of them and how things would have turned out differently if they were still with us.”

“ Those were innocent times, it is so easy to get wrapped up in your hectic life and forget the simple pleasures and worry about what people expect of you. Being so close to death makes you think about what is important in your life, and that you only have the one go at it and need to make the most of it.”

“ Have you given any thoughts about what you want to do now, you need to get out, you can’t sit around in here for ever?”

“ Obviously it will not be a good idea to go back to work in the City, although I am dabbling a bit with investments when I need to pass the time, and I was never into any heavy strenuous work anyway. I’m quite comfortably off and have no need to work again, I was thinking about maybe doing some voluntary work.”

“That’s a great idea, there are a lot of local groups for homeless shelters, food banks, charity shops and things like that, I’m sure that there must be some that would welcome your help.Have a look on Google and see if anything appeals to you.”

The next day I shopped around a bit and found a British heart Foundation (BHF) charity shop not far from the house, thought that it would be an appropriate charity for me to be involved with, gave them a call, and arranged to go in to see them.

That was when I realised how much I had changed during my time in hospital and my convalescence, I must have lost at least two stone and I found that none of my clothes fitted me properly anymore, they were all far too baggy, i looked a mess. Last night’s conversation with Jane came back into my head, and remembering my times dressing up with her and her friends, I wondered if any of her clothes would fit me better.

I had a rummage through her wardrobe and found a crew neck pullover, some trousers and a jacket that fitted me well, even if a bit snuggly, and I decided that I looked presentable, even if a little bit effeminate. I brushed my hair telling myself that I definitely needed to get it cut, I hadn’t bothered since I went into hospital and my Celtic ancestry showed through in a thick bushy ginger mop that sat over my ears and collar, and made my way down to the BHF shop.

“ Hi, I’m Chris Balfour, I’ve arranged to see to see Julie Marshall about volunteering here.”

I was taken through o a small office next to a store room above the shop.

“Hello Chris, pleased to meet you, are you ok being called that or would you prefer Chrissie or Christine?”

“No, it’s just Chris, short for Christopher, , I used to get that confusion all the time when i was younger as my sister and her friends called me Chrissie, and people often expected to see a girl.”

“ I’m so sorry, it’s an easy mistake to make with your hair and clothes.”

“I’ve been recovering from a heart transplant, haven’t had a chance to get my hair cut, have lost a lot of weight and all my clothes were just falling off me, so I borrowed some of my sister’s stuff which was a better fit. I’ll have to do some shopping to get some new stuff the right size.”

“Don’t worry too much, as long as you are clean and tidy nobody will really care how you look. Once you start here it might be worth having a look through our stock to see if there is anything suitable before you start spending a fortune on new stuff. Tell me a bit about yourself and why you are volunteering here.”

“To be honest, I had a high-pressure job in one of the finance houses in the city, which brought on a heart attack which was a lot worse than normal, necessitating a transplant. I no longer need to work and thought that volunteering with BHF was a suitable way to spend some of my time. It will get me out of the house and mixing with people again and hopefully will give some help to those suffering like I did.”

“ Ok when can you start and how much do you want to do?”

“ I’ll start now if you want, and will do anything you need me to do, although I want to avoid heavy lifting for the time being.”

The rest of the afternoon I was in the stock room emptying boxes of donations and sorting them out, basically into menswear, womenswear, children’s clothes, and odds and ends, discarding some things that were not fit to re-sell or needed cleaning or repair. A couple of times i went down to make a cup of coffee and chatted to some of the women in the shop. For the last few months, other than Jane and my doctors and nurses I had not really had a chance to have a conversation with anyone and it made a pleasant change to mix with people again and walkabout all the inconsequential events of the day.

At the end of the afternoon I bid Julie and the others goodnight, promised to return the next morning and made my way back home, to find Jane already there.

“Hi Chris , where have you been and what have you been up to. Are those some of my clothes you have on?”

“I’ve got myself a job volunteering at the BHF shop and have been there all afternoon. Sorry about borrowing your stuff without asking, all mine is far too baggy and falling of me, and looked a mess, I thought that yours would be a better fit, I will have to get to the shops to find a lot of new stuff.”

“No worries, those things actually fit you quite well. If you want I will sort out some stuff that’s not too girly that will fit you to keep you going until you get to the shops.How did younger on at the BHF shop”

“It was a bit embarrassing at first when I got there, because of what I was wearing I was asked if Chris was short for Christine, but it was soon sorted out and they were all quite welcoming and friendly after that”

“ With those clothes and that hair you could quite easily pass for a Christine, a bit of makeup, restyle your hair, and get some boobs and you could really have a change of lifestyle.” she giggled.

“ I’ll pass on that Sis, although I could do with some of your old clothes for a while.”

That night I again had a vivid dream of the friendly nurse telling me that I needed to change my lifestyle and adapt, then Julie calling me Christine, and Jane being quite happy to let me have some of her old clothes, and had a vision of myself dressed and made up as a woman. I woke with a start at that and tossed and turned for the rest of the night thinking about the dream.

Not only were my outer clothes baggy and loose, but so was my underwear which kept slipping down from my waist. Jane had given m a pack of her plain cotton panties which were now a lot better fit and and much more comfortable, and I thought “So what, if they are girls’, nobody can see them. I put on a pair of stretch denim jeans that Laura had given me, wore the jumper that I had used yesterday, and went to the bathroom to brush my hair before going down for breakfast.

Jane gave me a lingering funny look, and started giggling. “Just look at you, just because you are wearing old clothes of mine, there is no need to be wearing lipstick as well.”

“ What do you mean?”

“Go and have a look in the mirror, when you were in the bathroom you must have tried on one of my lipsticks, even though it is only a mid pink it is still so obvious .”

“ Pass a tissue please, I don’t know why I did that, I just went in to brush my hair, I better clean it off before I leave.”

“ Don’t bother on my account, leave it on if you want, I don’t mind, but if you are going to start using it Chrissie, you had better get some of your own.” she smiled as she used her childhood name for me

I put on my coat and left to go to the shop, before realising that that I had been thinking too much about the lipstick and had come out without my keys, phone and wallet and had to return home.

“ What’s up Chrissie, forget something?”

“ I forgot my stuff. This is no good, these jeans are too tight to put anything in the pockets and the jacket pockets are so small.”

“ That’s why we girls use bags, pockets are just for show, not for putting anything in, you can borrow one of my little strappy shoulder bags to carry your stuff, if it will help, it’s only plain black leather so it is not too girly. I’ll go get it for you.”

At the shop the others were pleased to see me again as I went though to the store room to go through today’s donations. i hung my bag over the back of the chair and got on with sort things out. Later in the afternoon as I was getting ready to leave I heard my phone buzz at me, and went into my bag to get it.

“Hi Chrissie, can you stop off at the supermarket on your way home and get something for dinner, i’ll be back about 6:00. How’s it going today, are you settling in?”

“Everything’s ok, the women is the shop are ever so friendly and chatty, I am quite enjoying being here, it is so different to the hectic impersonal atmosphere at the fund. See you later.”

When I put my phone away I noticed that amongst my stuff, Jane had left a few things from when she had last used the bag, tissues, a hairbrush.a compact mirror and a lipstick, if i was not mistaken the one I had used earlier. For some reason I thought that I should use the lipstick, nobody would see it back here in the storeroom, and I quickly pursed my lips and gave them a swipe before looking in the mirror to check that I had done it properly, but it looked perfect as if I had been doing it for ever..

I stopped off at the supermarket for some food, but when i got home i found that I had also bought two lipsticks and a mascara wand. I didn’t remember picking them up, just as I didn’t remember applying the lipstick in the morning, my mind seemed to be drifting, probably as a result of the dream I had last night.

Over the next few days, using the lipstick became routine for me even wearing it all day at work, along with the clothes I was wearing, and carrying the shoulder bag, it seemed to be making me even more accepted by the girls and women in the shop, who just accepted me and were glad of my help.

I was sorting through the stuff in the store room one day, when I noticed what appeared to be an expensive hand-made designer label dress, a floating red silk affair and picked it up to hold it full length to have a good look at it, holding it against me to check the length in the wall mirror. Just at that moment Julie came into the store to call me for a tea break.

“That’s gorgeous Chrissie, do you like it, do you want to try it on, you can if you want, i won’t tell anyone?”

“ Are you sure that you don’t mind, what must you think of me?”

“Chrissie, you wear girls’ clothes all the time, you wear lipstick, you use a handbag, and your hairstyle is quite feminine, if i was going to be offended I would have said something before now. Go on, try it on, I will stay to zip it up for you.”

I quickly stripped down to my panties, before I realised what I had on, stepped into the dress and pulled it up for Julie to pull it together at the back and zip it up.

“You suit that Chrissie, it is a good fit, other than the obvious lack of a bust, it’s not booked in yet so why do you not just keep it and take it home. Obviously you can’t wear it while you are working, you will ruin it, so if there is anything else you fancy feel free to take that too.”

I suddenly realised what I had done, and really embarrassed asked her to unzip me, got changed back into my normal clothes and went down for my drink. I didn’t know what had come over me, I seemed to be having these weird moments where I just drifted into acting like a woman, I didn’t know if it was living with Jane, working with the other women and girls, everybody calling me by my feminine nickname, or watching too many fashion and beauty items on daytime TV, but I was definitely having more ‘Chrissie’ moments.

“Look what I have found in the hampers today.” I later told Jane as I held up the dress. “ Julie saw me looking at it andtalked me into trying it on and it felt so soft and comfortable and fitted me really well, what do you think?”

“It’s gorgeous, let’s see it on you then, go and get changed.”

I managed to get it zipped up myself with a bit of arm twisting, brushed out my hair, freshened my lipstick and even did my eyes with my mascara, before going out to give her a twirl. i thought to myself it really needs some decent shoes to complete the outfit.

“What do you think then Jane?

“ I think that my teenage sister Chrissie is back, you look fantastic. What has brought all this on, you haven’t been cross-dressing in secret all these years have you?”

“ Not at all, that was just a bit of teenage fun, exploring myself if you like, but now I just keep getting these strange feelings of wanting to try more feminine things. Maybe being so close to death has made me want to live a little bit differently to before.”

“ Go and get changed, you don’t want to ruin the dress, and we’ll talk more over dinner.”

I stripped and hung up the dress and went to put on my jeans again, but felt a compulsion to go get one of Jane’s skirts and tops to change into instead. She gave me a strange look when I went back out but said no more about how I was dressed until we had had dinner and cleared away the dishes.:

“What’s up with you Chrissie, you are acting strange, you seem to be getting more and more feminine, you are even beginning to sound more like a girl, do you want to talk about it.”

“I honestly don’t know Jane, I keep having these dreams about dressing as a woman and when I wake up it just seems normal to put on the clothes you have given me, i am just doing it automatically without thinking, I am not doing it consciously. During my operation I had tubes down my throat which seem to have affected my voice a bit. The doctors said that some tissue was probably scarred and that it might heal itself or maybe my voice will just be a bit higher-pitched than before. along with that, talking to you and the girls at work, I am picking up a few of your expressions and ways of talking, and do sometimes sound a bit feminine.

“It’s probably a reaction to all the drugs you are now on to keep your body under control, if you are worried talk to your doctor about it, but if you want to just go with it for a while, that’s fine with me. If I can make a suggestion though, if you are going to keep wearing skirts and sleeveless tops I will sort some out for you, but you really need to shave off all your body hair, it doesn’t look right like that.”

I had another vivid dream that night I was at a fancy charity ball dressed in my red silk dress, matching heels, with my face fully made up, my hair properly styled and my nails done, on the arms of a tall handsome mans in a tuxedo, swirling me off my feet on the dance floor.

Before going into the shop in the morning I made a conscious effort to ensure that all my mascara had been cleaned off, and that I was not dressed too girly, but I still automatically put on lipstick as I now did every day.”

“ Morning Chrissie, what did Jane think of your new dress when you got home last night?” Julie asked as walked through the shop.

“ Shush, I don’t want the others to hear about it, I’ll be a laughing stock if they find out.”

“ As I said before you are not exactly hiding your feminine side and they are not blind, they might not say anything but they have definitely noticed. Feel free to carry on in whatever manner you feel comfortable.”

That day I found a few more designer label outfits that I put to one side, an idea was beginning to form in my mind but I wasn’t yet ready to share. I also found a couple of skirts that fitted me when I tried them on, a mid thigh denim casual one and a more dressy lined tweed A-line above-the-knee one more suitable for going out in, and a couple of short sleeve sweetheart tops to take home to add to my collections and two pairs of decent shoes with 2” and 3” block heels

On the way home, I freshened my lipstick and brushed on the mascara and returned to the supermarket to the supermarket to browse through the underwear section for a couple of bras, more panties, several pairs of tights and found some basic makeup items. If everyone was happy with me appearing as a woman I had decided that I may as well have the option of doing it more often.

When Jane arrived home she found me in the kitchen, wearing my denim skirt and the pale blue top I had salvaged from the shop, sitting a lot better now that I was wearing a bra underneath, padded out with some silicone enhancers that I had found at the back of her underwear drawer.

“Oh that’s a bit of a surprise Chrissie, but you are looking really nice. I see that you have shaved your legs and arms too, you need to keep them like that if you are going to continue to wear those sort of clothes. Finish getting the dinner ready and afterwards I will see what I can do with your hair to make it look bit more controlled and feminine.

She worked on my hair, creating a centre parting and a brushed back high crown, tucked the sides back behind my ears and held it in place with side combs.

“ Right Sis, freshen up your makeup and put a bit more on your eyes, we are going out.”

“ What do you mean, I can’t go out like this.”

“Look Chrissie the path you seem to be on you are going to have to face the world sometime. You are all dressed up nice, your hair is looking really good, just a bit more makeup and you will look no different to any other girl, put on some shoes, grab your bag and a coat and let’s go out for a drink.”

At least Jane did not embarrass me by going to our local, but drove out of town to a country pub where nobody would know us.

“I’m just going to the Ladies Chrissie, you go and get a couple of wines and find a table for us.”

With my new heart pounding so much I thought it might fail on me, I nervously made my way to the bar, caught the eye of the barman and gave a big smile which quickly brought him over.”

“ Hello darling, I’ve not seen you in here before, welcome to the Blacksmith’s Arms, what can I get you?”

“ We’re not normally out this way, we just fancied a change and this place seems pleasant enough. Two Chenin Blancs please, have you any chilled?”

“ Of course, I’ll bring them over in a minute when you get settled and your friend returns.”

“Thanks so much, how much do I owe you?” I asked fishing in my bag for my wallet.

“ Don’t worry we’ll sort it out when you leave, you don’t look the types to do a runner and leave without paying.”

Jane came back soon and Jack the barman brought over the drinks and gave us a big smile. “ There you are girls, enjoy your drinks. If I am allowed to say it nowadays it makes a change to get too bubbly lovely-looking young girls in here, most of the locals would crack their faces if they forced a smile.”

When he had left, Jane giggled and gave me a soft nudge.

“You seemed to have made a good impression there Chrissie, I told you that everything would be ok. Just relax and enjoy yourself, first time for you in ages wearing a skirt, but I’m sure it won’t be the last. You really do look just another girl out for a drink.”

We had an enjoyable night there, chatting about our days at work, before paying for our drinks, saying goodbye to Jack, promising to visit again, and made our way home.

I was in my room getting ready for bed, cleaning off my makeup when Jane came in.

“ Since you seem to be settling into life as a girl, I thought you might like a nightie to sleep in, this one is quite plain and loose so should be ok, however if you want to carry on wearing those rough baggy old pyjamas that is up to you. Night Night, see you in the morning.”

I decided to try sleeping in the nightie, my pyjamas had been rubbing on the still-healing big scar on my chest from the surgery, and the soft loose cotton shift was much more comfortable. Despite that, I had another restless night picturing myself in the pub with Jane with Jack occasionally leaning over the bar staring at us.

At work the next day at tea break, Emma one of the shop staff had brought in some cakes as was the custom on birthdays and Julie told me that she, Emma and Mary were going for a quick drink after work to celebrate and asked whether I would like to join them.

“Of course I’m glad you asked. When I worked in the City it was an excuse for drinking and eating far too much, but that was before I was forced to make drastic changes to my life.”

“ Talking of drastic changes, you didn’t clean your eyes properly last night, there are still traces of shadow and mascara. You might want to clean them, or if you prefer, do them again properly do have have stuff in your bag”

“ Give me a few minutes I will freshen it up, you have all obviously already done yours and I don’t want to let the side down. I dug out the side combs from my bag, brushed my hair like Jane had done last night, slid in the combs to hold it in place,
put on a bit of moisturising tinted foundation, did my eyes and lips and was soon ready to join them.”

We went to the local bistro , and ordered wine and some tapas to pick at while we chatted. The women made me welcome and just treated me as one of them, drawing me into all their conversations even ones that they would normally have not had in my presence.”

As we were about to leave, Emma stared at me and smiled. “ You know Chrissie, you look really good tonight, if you want I don’t think anyone would mind if you came into work tomorrow wearing makeup and even more feminine clothes rather than the unisex look you normally have. Particularly after tonight, we just look on you as one of the girls anyway, I hope that doesn’t upset you.”

“Thanks Emma, I’m not sure that I am ready for that but we’ll see.”

Back at home I told Jane what Emma had said and asked her what she thought.

“ I don’t really understand what you are doing and why, but after what you have been through I just want you to be happy.” They’ve seen you in full makeup, Julie has seen you in the dress and wearing panties, what more is there for them to find out about you? If you want to give it a try going in to work tomorrow in full girl-mode, you have enough clothes to pick from with the stuff I have given you and what you have brought home from the shop. Go and sort out what you fancy wearing and I will let you know what I think of your choice.

I went to the bathroom, had a close shave, redid my legs and arms, freshened my makeup and hair and went back to my room to pick something to wear. After putting on some neutral tights, my Tweed skirt a peasant blouse top with cap sleeves and my 3’ heels I went out for an inspection.

“ Good choices Chrissie, you have good taste, my only suggestion is that you wear the shorter heels, not being used to them, your legs will feel awful at the end of the day in the those bigger ones. It’s up to you if you want to go in like that you are looking wonderful and nobody will see otherwise, but if you are not sure just go dressed as normal, you don’t want to get yourself too stressed.

I made my decision and went to get changed for bed and clean off the makeup, and enjoyed the best nights sleep I had for many nights, and woke up in the morning refreshed and ready for my first day at work fully as Chrissie.

I was a bit surprised and embarrassed when on the way to the shop I was getting admiring glances and even a wolf-while from a couple of road-workers, but it gave me a spring in my step and I went into the shop feeling confident about my appearance. At first there was a stunned silence when they realised who I was before Emma let out a squeal and rushed over to give me a hug.

“ I know I said last night that you could come in in wearing more feminine clothes if you wished, but I never expected this, you look gorgeous, i feel a bit underdressed in these jeans.”

“You don’t want to be getting your good clothes all dirty doing the unpacking and sorting in the store, either find something more suitable to wear while you are up there or work down in the shop dealing with customers.” Julie suggested.

“I’ll be ok, I have a few things put aside , I’ll change into leggings and a jumper, i don’t think i am ready to deal with customers yet.”

At tea break i was the main topic of conversation, the other women were keen to know how I felt and how I dealing with the change in my life, and more to the point, where my boobs suddenly appeared from, which was of course a question from Emma. After that things went back to normal and I was just treated as all other the girls and involved in their general chat about life in general. At the end of the day, I put on my skirt and top again and made my way home, happy with the way things had gone, and even happier to kick off my shoes and give my legs and feet a rest. Jane had been right I was glad that I hadn’t worn the higher heels.

For the next few weeks the routine was basically the same and I was now living 24/7 as a woman, and putting on the clothes and makeup was now just second nature and a normal part of getting ready for work.

“ Julie can have a word with you up in the stockroom, there is something I want to show you?”

“ You’re being very secretive, what’s up?”

“I’ve an idea to help raise funds. Since I started here, i have been filtering out what I consider to be quality garments from well-known designer brands, including big names like Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Alexander McQueen, as well as high-end boutique labels from outlets in Kensington, Chelsea, Mayfair and Fitzrovia. you will be amazed at what some people throw away. These would normally be put on the racks in the shop and sell for a fraction of what they are worth, Instead of getting a few pounds or a few tens of pounds, they could be worth hundreds. We are not in a premier part of the city, just imagine what will be found in the shops in the more prestigious and expensive areas.”

“I suppose you have an idea already as to how we can take this forward.?”

“Through the regional fundraising committee, we could contact all the shops in the city and even in the suburbs to alert them to the potential, collect it all together and hold a special event to pull in prospective big-spending customers. If it is marketed as a charity auction and held it in a prime venue, an event where the ‘great and the good in-crowd’ would have to be seen, I think that it could be a major success.”

You could be right, let me float it past the regional management, at least they should give you an opportunity to pitch it to them. One objection they always raise with any suggestion is the cost of setting things up and potential losses, registered charities are not legally allowed to lose money on events and are obliged to make up any losses by other means.”

“ Don’t forgot what I did before my heart attack, I have contacts in high places and am sure that I can get some funding, or at least get the costs underwritten in the unlikely event of it not being a success.”

A week later I was summoned to the BHF headquarters in North London for a meeting with their fundraising team.

I was hoping to come across as a motivated, confident, professional woman with a keen eye for a business opportunity and the morning before the meeting was spent at a beauty salon, getting my slightly wild hair styled and groomed, and my makeup and nails expertly done, before dressing in a smart business suit that I had rescued from the storeroom.

I nervously signed in at reception and was escorted to the conference room where I was to make my presentation, paused at the door to straighten my skirt and jacket and make sure my hair was all in place and went into the room to be faced with a committee of five of the senior management.

“ Good morning Christine, thanks for coming in to tell us more about your suggestion. I’m Margaret Ferguson one of the fundraising coordinators.You are not having to do a sales pitch, so just relax and tell us in your own words why you think this is a good idea.” Thought that she looked vaguely familiar but It was probably my imagination.

“Please call me Chrissie, nobody calls me Christine,” I replied trying to break the ice and get rid of any formality.

“Firstly, just so you know who I am, I have been working as a volunteer assistant in one of your stores since recovering from a major heart attack which necessitated a transplant. However before that I was a junior partner at Versatility Hedge Fund in the City and am used to working with money figures with lots of zeros behind them and dealing with high-profile and extremely wealthy clients. I have used my past business experience to come up with a proposal which should benefit the charity.”

I explained to them about finding quality clothing amongst the more usual donations and the potential income that they were missing out on by re-selling quality items in their local shops at knock-down prices. I briefly explained my suggestion of a charity auction to try to get more value from the donations we had received, and they seemed interested but guarded.

“Very good Chrissie, something like this has been suggested and tried before, what makes your proposal different?”

“The difference is in the high-profile, high quality, marketing, and the venue. I am proposing hiring one of the Livery Halls and turning this into a major social event. If any of your ambassadors or celebrity supporters are available to attend or, even better, donate an item for sale, this will attract the elite social circles from Chelsea Kensington and Mayfair, people with money and time on their hands.”

“ That sounds excellent, but it also sounds expensive. It will take a lot of time, effort and expense to arrange this. It will only be viable if it is successful, we cannot risk losing money.”

“As I said when I introduced myself, before my heart transplant I worked as a senior trader at a major hedge fund in the city and I’m certain that the partners there will be more than happy to help fund the external expenses, venue hire, refreshments and the like, and if all else fails I am prepared to personally underwrite against any losses in gratitude for the treatment I received. It’s a win-win offer for you, you can either make a lot of money, or even if it only breaks even with a subsidy from me, it will raise the profile of your fundraising campaigns with the social elite.”

“You have obviously thought this through Chrissie and it sounds a good idea. Before we commit to this, pull some figures together for the venue and catering, we will contact all our shops to get them to sort out quality items. Are you prepared, and more to the point medically fit, to coordinate that, arrange somewhere as a marshalling point, supervise any volunteers to sort out all the donated items, and generally manage the project?”

“ I’m medically fine, thank you for asking, as long as I do not do anything too strenuous. Give me a couple of weeks to speak to people and then can we meet again to get a final agreement?

“Thank you for your presentation Chrissie we look forward to seeing you soon.”

Quite buoyed by how the discussions had gone, I went into a bistro and ordered a coffee while I planned out how I could go forward.

“Good morning Versatility Hedge Fund, how can I help you.”

“Good morning, is Charles Murray available please?” I replied in as near to my old ‘Chris’ voice as I could get after months of getting used to blending my voice in with the girls at work.

“He has a hectic schedule but I will check for you, who’s calling please.”

“Please tell him that it is Chris Balfour, he should know who I am.”

“Go ahead, you are through now.”

“Good morning Chris, how are you, are you fully recovered now?”

“I’m as well as can be expected and a lot better than when we last spoke. Have you got time to spare for a chat, there is something I wish to discuss.”

“I am available for the next hour, where are you, can you get here soon?”

“ I’m near Euston Station, I can be there in about a quarter of an hour. There is something you need to know before I come in in case you want to change your mind. It’s a long story and probably a bit of a shock to you, but I am now living as a woman and call myself Chrissie, but if you can live with that, I have a proposal that you may be interested in.”

There was a silence for what seemed like ages, but was probably just a few seconds, which worried me.

“ We’’ll keep this just between you and me for the moment, I’ll get my PA to sort it out with reception logging you in as Chrissie Balfour and arrange to get you sent up here. see you in a few minutes.”

I made my way to the office, took a deep breath as I approached reception hoping that I would not be recognised, but having gone back to a voice in keeping with my appearance, I had no problems. I was given an ID card and was escorted up to Charles’ office.

“ My god Chris, is that really you, I would never have believed it, you are looking amazing and so well.”

‘It’s surprising what you can hide with makeup, thank you for seeing me.”

“To what do I owe this pleasure, I assume that you want your old job back?”

“Thank you for the offer, but no thanks. I don’t think that I want the stress anymore, I have got used to a much more relaxed life. Besides, if I was to return here as Chrissie, it would only cause problems, it is still very much a ‘boys club’ even though you have all sorts of equality policies, I would just be a disruption.”

“You’re probably right, although I shouldn’t admit it, but you know better than me, you were one of the leaders of the pack in the boys club. You have me intrigued now as to why you are here, would you like to enlighten me.”

“Leaving aside for the moment the fact that I am now Chrissie, I volunteered at the local BHF shop, and soon saw a business opportunity, which the headquarters staff have accepted in principle and now want me to put some flesh on the bones.”

I told him about my idea for a prestige charity auction event to try and get much better value from some of the more upmarket items that had been donated.

“Sounds a good idea, and where do I fit in to all this?”

“I know that you use the Drapers Hall banqueting suite several times a year for corporate events, and have been there to some of them myself. I wonder if you could use your influence and client loyalty to get an exceptional deal for us to use it as the venue for our charity auction.”

“I can do even better than that, my brother had to have a bypass operation last year, and BHF is a charity I hold dear. The company will pay for the venue including reception drinks and canapés, we can put it through the books as a charity donation.”

“Thank you so much, that’s brilliant, I didn’t expect that.” I almost went to give him a thank you hug, but held back as I felt he would be embarrassed.

“Is there anything else you need, do you want catalogues and such like printed or an advertising web page created, our marketing and IT people can sort something out for you.”

“This is all unbelievable and so good of you, it takes a big worry away from me. Let me know who to contact and I’ll arrange something with them. Of course you will get a mention as a sponsor of the event, and as well as thanks from me I’m sure that BHF will recognise your help.”

Business over for the moment we chatted for a while, about things in general, my health, my living as a woman, what was happening in the company and life in general until he had to start preparing for a meeting.It was good to make contact again, but I was glad that I no longer worked there, my life was much happier now. When I first went into is office he was a bit guarded and I was met with a light handshake, but by the time I left he was a lot more comfortable with the new means we parted with a hug and a promise to meet again soon.

Back at home, I changed out of my business suit into leggings and a jumper and sat down to relax and reflect on the events of the day with a glass of wine. I sent off an email to Margaret Ferguson to tell her about the funding for the venue and refreshments and that it looked like it was all good to go forward.

Over the next few days, I found a warehouse that we could have on a short lease and made a provisional booking for two months at a very reasonable charge . I went into the shop, told Julie and the girls the good news and collected the dresses and other items that I had put aside in the shop. photographed them and wrote a brief description listing the designer, the size, the material and such like and a guide price for the auction. I collated it all into a first draft of a catalogue for the event along with a leaflet to use on the website to advertise the event and went back to BHF to make a second pitch to Margaret Ferguson.

“I gave Margaret details of the facilities at the venue, Charles’ promise to fund the event costs, and showed her my drafts of a web page, flyer, and a few pages of typical items to go in the catalogue.

“You have been busy Chrissie, it looks like you have things under control. I’ve talked with a couple of our ambassadors, Dame Esther Rantzen the TV personality and campaigner, and Pippa Middleton the socialite and sister of the Duchess of Cambridge, and would be happy to host and compere the event, so it looks like it is all pulling together. Our board of trustees has given me the go ahead as long as I was happy with what you have done, so I’ll now contact all our outlets in the area and arrange to get some stock for you.”

“Obviously the draft catalogue and web page need professional input, I’ve had a go to give you an idea but the marketing people at Versatility are at my disposal and we can soon knock something a bit more professional together.”

The next few weeks were hectic, collecting and sorting the clothing that was coming in, making arrangements with the venue, liaising with the marketing people to prepare and print a catalogue. BHF headquarters sent out invitations to their mailing lists and took bookings for attendance and the big day soon arrived.

I had an early booking at the beauty parlour, I was determined that I was not going to be outshone by the pampered and stylishly-dressed women who would be attending. With my red silk full-length dress that started all this neatly folded in a small trolley case along with my shoes and accessories, I nervously made my way to Drapers Hall, hoping that everything would go well. After checking that the venue was fully prepared and ready, the catalogues were all in place to be picked up, and a quick meeting with Esther, Pippa, and David an auctioneer borrowed from Christies, to brief them, I changed , freshened up my make up and hair, and went out to introduce the event.

I was a bit overwhelmed when I saw how full the hall was and recognised several faces from Society magazines and television, BHF had obviously hit the right sort of people on their mailing list.

“Good afternoon Ladies, and I notice a few gentlemen amongst you too, on behalf of the British Heart Foundation i welcome you to this beautiful venue, and hope that you all managed to get a welcome drink as you arrived, hopefully to help loosen the clasps on your purses.” Which caused a bit of a titter. “Without further ado, I will hand your over to your hosts for the event, Dame Esther and Pippa, who need no further introduction and David Walker our auctioneer, who will take it from here. Thank you so much for coming, enjoy the afternoon and please spend or donate lots of money.”

Leaving the stage to a ripple of applause, I was now able to relax and enjoy the event after all the hard work I had put in. Esther and Pippa were enthusing about and describing the items in turn and David was amazing at talking up the prices, charming money from the purses and wallets. Everything was sold, most at prices well above what was expected, some even at levels to match their original cost. Many of the items were personal sales, but a lot were taken by dress-hire shops to add to their collections, and some were even bought back by the original designers. I had obviously made the right choices in selecting items for the sale.

At the end of the event Margaret Ferguson announced that with the proceeds of the sale and donations and promises, we had raised over £60000 for the charity and called me up to the stage to give a personal thanks for my proposal and for all the hard work I had put in to pull it together, which received a huge round of applause.

“Thank you so much everyone, I and all the people who have worked so hard with me on this event are grateful for your appreciation of our efforts, but the real heroes, or more correctly heroines, are you in the audience who have contributed so much and have made it all worthwhile, Thank you all and have a safe journey home.”

After everyone had left and the hall was being tidied by the staff I sat quietly in a corner talking things through with Margaret. “This has all been down to you and your enthusiasm Chrissie, I really appreciate it. A year ago I lost my daughter Caroline in a car accident, and because her heart was used in a transplant I threw myself into working for BHF. She would have been so proud and appreciative of what you have done. you seem to have a flair for this, please come in and see me when you have settled down again after the last Few hectic weeks.

Margaret then left me reflecting on what I had done and how my life had changed when I heard someone approaching me.

“Hi Chrissie, remember me.” I looked up and saw Caroline, the nurse from the hospital.

“You’re in your element today, I’m glad I sought you out to receive my heart when I died after my accident. You have adapted well and through you, especially now as Chrissie, I can live the life I should have had. Without you knowing, I have nudged you into making the decision to become Chrissie. I haven’t forced you to do anything you’d not want to do, except maybe that first time you put on lipstick, merely helped you to be more comfortable with decisions you made.

You made me proud today, and my mother Margaret, who you have been working with, is so pleased with what you have done. , My heart could not have gone to a more worthy person. I ask one thing of you before I leave. Please talk to my mother and tell her about us, it will be a great comfort to her. She has lost her daughter, you have lost your parents, you should get to know each other. Goodbye Chrissie, enjoy our life together, you will always be a part of me.” With that she just seemed to fade away and I was left alone wondering whether I was dreaming, listening to her plaintive singing as she left.

#I don't know what else to say to you
When you ask me how to make it through
I know this is hard for you
I know we can see it through
I know I'm a part of you
We were all you ever knew
But I promise this will work
Everybody lives to learn
I won't forget you if you remember me
Don't try to take this away from me
You'll always be a part of me#

“Hello Margaret, it’s Chrissie Balfour. It may sound strange but was your daughter Caroline, a nurse at the Brompton Hospital?”

“Yes, she was did you know her?”

“ It’s a long story, can we meet, there is something I need to tell you?”

The end

The British Heart foundation, the Royal Brompton Hospital, Drapers Hall, Christies Auctioneers, Dame Esther Rantzen and Pippa Middleton are all real. All other people, places and events are totally fictional and any similarity with actual people places or events is purely coincidental.