After a difficult day at the office I was looking forward to a relaxing evening, and arrived home ready to collapse into an easy chair. When i unlocked the door and came into the hall I nearly tripped over two suitcases sitting there.

“ Hi Josie, i’m home, are you going off somewhere again?” Josie often had to go away to sales conferences in her role as marketing manager for her father’s ceramic and pottery manufacturing company in Stoke-on-Trent, for which I also worked as an accounts manager.

“I’m not going anywhere you pervert, James, it is you that’s leaving, I want you out of the house straight away and I never want to see you again.”

“What on earth has brought this on. I know that things have been a bit strained between us recently but I never realised that they were this bad. What do you mean calling me a pervert, can you tell me what is going on in your head?”

“ I’ll tell you what is going on in my head, you weirdo. I was up in the loft looking for something and I saw a couple of suitcases that I didn’t recognise, opened them up and found women’s clothes, makeup and two wigs, that were definitely not mine. I then looked on your computer at your internet history and found that you were a regular visitor to transgender websites. You have been cheating and lying to me for the whole time we’ve been together. That is what is going on in my head. I could maybe have accepted your perverted tastes but i cannot accept the cheating and lying. Get out of here, I don’t care where you go as long as it is not here, get out of my sight. The suitcases in the hall have enough clothes and things to keep you going until you get settled, everything else will be boxed up and you can collect it in due course, when I have had time to calm down. Please leave now, get out of my house, don’t forget it is my house, in my name, given to me by my father. Speaking of my father, don’t worry about going into work tomorrow, he has already sacked you and doesn’t want you in the office again.”

“You are being stupid and melodramatic, but when you are in this mood there is no arguing with you. You have been a right moody bitch lately and I will gladly leave, I have not been happy with you for months now. Goodbye.” Trying hard not to lose my temper or burst into tears, I picked up the suitcases from the hall and left that part of my life for ever.

I loaded the cases in my car, and drove away, just for a couple of miles, and parked up so that I could get my head together and decide what I was going to do.

Josie and I had been friends since childhood and often played together and had the same set of friends, all the way through school and our late teens. Gradually all our friends were getting married or getting long-term partners and we were the last ones unattached. It was never a full-blown ‘soulmate, love at first sight’ relationship, we sort of drifted into our marriage. It had been comfortable and convenient even if not earth-shattering. However lately we seemed to be having constant arguments or stony silences and neither of us was really happy.

When I was a child I had always played dress-up with my sister Chloe, but we had kept it secret and only dressed when playing in her bedroom. Our parents had quite an active social life and in our teens often left us alone for evenings, and Chloe would loan me some of her clothes and make me up and we would spend the time watching romantic movies together. Chloe and I were not much different in size, I had seemed to stop growing at 5’6’’and 130 pounds, and still had a slight bone structure, so her stuff fitted me quite well.

When Josie and I started going out as a couple, the dress-up sessions stopped and I promised myself that it was all over and that I would live a ‘normal’ life as a good husband. However when she was away on business trips, the lure of a full wardrobe and cupboards was too much to resist and i often donned some of her clothes to relax after work, and as far as I know she never realised what I was up to.

Things quickly went to the next stage and I started buying some things of my own, mainly off the internet with deliveries to click-and-collect locations. I hid all my stuff in cases in the loft, as Josie rarely went up there, usually if she wanted anything she sent me up to fetch it. This is what she had found, my cache of dresses, skirts, tops, underwear and shoes, make-up, wigs and breast forms. Thinking on it, it was no surprise that she was shocked when she discovered the extent of my secret wardrobe.

In my childhood we had spent many holidays with my grandparents near Seahouses, up in Northumberland. As far as I knew there were no relatives still living there, it was almost as far away from Stoke as I could get while still staying in England, and my memories were all happy ones, so I decided that that was where i would try to start a new life.

I headed up the M6, but after the stresses of the working day and the trauma of the scene with Josie I was feeling tired, so decided to pull into the Travelodge at Southwaite Services just outside Carlisle for the night, about halfway on my journey. and as I wouldn’t be having a breakfast cleared the bill in advance, as the receptions were usually busy in the mornings with overnighters booking out. My clothes were all stale with travelling so I collected my suitcases and went to my room to change.

I was shocked and angry when i opened the cases. In an obvious fit of spite Josie had only packed all my female clothes and sundries there wasn’t even a change of underwear or socks from my male stuff. This helped me make a decision about my future life, I had two choices, either to try to find some male clothes in the service station or accept that my immediate future would be female. I had no job. no wife, no house, it was all to be a new beginning anyway, so living life as a woman could not be any more unhappy than my life as a man.

I was already fairly practised making myself look womanly from all the times I had dressed when Josie was away, so it did not take too long to have a shower,, shampoo and condition my hair close shave, clean off all my body and leg hair, rub on body lotion, and start to get ready.

Luckily my hair was long enough to blow-dry and brush it into a passable pixie cut, just over the ears and tapering down my neck over the collar line and with a high crown line and wedge fringe, it was short for a woman but the style I achieved was obviously not a man’s.

Josie had also packed my make-up bag so I was soon quite presentable. It was late evening, I was travelling, I was on my own, so the make-up just needed to be simple, just a light foundation and blusher, mascara and eyeliner, and lipstick.

I normally only inserted my breast forms into my bra, but as I wanted to commit myself to my new life, I used the adhesive that had come with them and for the first time felt what it was really like to carry their weight on my chest. I put on my bra and panties, tucking myself as I had learned via the internet, put on a wooly top and a skirt that were not too creased from Josie's hurried casual packing, took my wallet from my jacket and was ready to face the world.

Before going into the café i stopped off in the service centre shop, the two things I needed immediately that I had never needed to buy before, were a bag and a purse. there was not a lot of choice as most of the stuff on sale was for travelling emergencies, but luckily one of the national chains had a small franchise there and I was able to find something suitable that would do until I could find something better.

“Hello dear, what can I get you,” asked the woman behind the counter of the café with a friendly smile.

“Just something light please, a piece of Lasagne if it is home-made in your kitchen and not brought in chilled and pre-prepared, a bread roll. and a coffee please” I replied, my voice was quite husky but with a bit of a sing-song accent was passable and she smiled back and served up for me.

“Enjoy your meal, there are plenty of places, that seat over to the right has lovely views of the fells and has just been cleaned so I suggest you give it a try.” I paid cash as I didn’t want to use my credit cards until I knew that I could not be traced

“Thank you so much, I’ll do that.” I didn’t want to start up a conversation as I wasn’t sure how long I could keep up a passable voice, but she seemed ok with me, which gave me a bit of confidence.”

The lasagne was actually quite tasty and moist and warming, the catering in the motorway services had definitely improved lately.

With a cheery “goodbye and thank you”, I left and returned to my room to inspect what Josie had packed. It was all the clothes and bits and pieces that I had stored in the loft, and even the wigs I had bought. I decided to leave the wigs and just go with my own hair, as it had been accepted in the shop and café.

There were several changes of underwear, a couple of dresses, one casual, one more formal, three skirts various styles, several blouses and tops, two pairs of sandals and two pairs of shoes. What I didn’t have and would need were some nightwear, slacks or jeans, a jacket and a coat. I would stop off in the morning at a shopping mall outside Carlisle to get the necessities and maybe a few more casual things.

Fortunately, for some reason that I couldn’t remember, Josie and I had always kept our bank accounts and credit card accounts separate, so there would be no problem with my purchases showing up on the monthly statements, and the cards only had my initial rather than the first name, so as far as any salespeople were concerned I was now Jane Gibson, rather than James. I accessed my online banking accounts and changed my profile to online statements only, so no paper records would be sent to my home address My phone was on a joint broadband/phone account so I would need to get a pay-as-you-go SIM card until I could set up a new account, which would also help to make my phone location untraceable.

Having sorted everything out I thought I would have an early night and set off early in the morning and cleaned off my makeup to get ready for bed. I didn’t have a nightie or pyjamas with me, so I just slept in a long t-shirt and my knickers. The movement of my new breasts without the support of the bra took some getting used to, but I soon found a comfortable position and dropped off for a good nights sleep.

I left early, did my hair and makeup and got dressed in the same skirt and top as the night before, adding some tights that I had bought in the service area shop, and headed for Carlisle to get the essentials for my new life. The first on my list was a new coat, it was not the weather to be walking around without one, and I wore it while I continued to get the rest of the things I needed. All my previous shopping apart from a few items had been ordered online and it was a new experience to go into a shop, look through racks and try things on, and I began to understand why women enjoy shopping whereas to most men it is a necessary chore.

The drive across to pick up the A1 near Newcastle and then head into Northumberland was uneventful but inspiring, but as I got further North the weather deteriorated and the rain was coming down heavier and heavier. I was only about 2 miles from my destination of Beadnell where i ha
was intending to book in for the night in a B&B when a car came flying round a sharp bend in the middle of the road, forcing me to swerve and I lost control on the wet surface and ended up with my nearside wheels in a ditch at the edge of the verge. The other car did not even have the decency to stop, either that or with poor visibility they didn’t realise what they had done, but I was now well and truly stuck. Grudgingly I put on my new coat to get out of the car to see what could be done and was standing in the pouring rain getting soaked when a car soon pulled up behind me.

“Are you all right pet, what on earth happened.”a lady called out from her car.

“Some idiot driving too fast forced me to swerve off the road and I am stuck in a ditch, I’ll have to call out a recovery service and will probably have to wait for hours.”

“You can’t wait in your car with it tilted over like that and you can’t stand around in this downpour, get in my car and we’ll see if we can sort something out. I’m Amanda Horton by the way.”

“Hello, I’m J…Jane Gibson, thanks for your help. I was on my way to Beadnell, where I was hoping to find a place for a few nights while I looked for something a bit more permanent, I’m hoping to move into the area, and need to find somewhere to rent for a while.”

“Let me make a phone call to see if can get the local garage to come to sort you out.”

“ Hello Liz, it’s Amanda, there’s been an accident the B1340 the other side of Swinhoe, can Jack come out to pull a car out of a ditch and tow it in for repairs?”

“Not until tomorrow? Ok, it should be safe where it is, it is on the verge not on the road. The driver will be staying at ours when Jack wants to come for the keys and things.”

“I take it you caught all that? Unless you would rather not, get anything you need from your car, lock it up and I’ll take you home and you can get dried and changed.”

“Are you sure that’s ok, you don’t know me from Adam, well Eve.”

“It’s fine, we often have guests staying and my husband Michael is glad when I have someone else to talk to, he enjoys the peace and quiet it gives him. Besides how can we not make welcome somebody with the fine Northumbrian name of Gibson?”

I moved my cases and shopping bags from my car into Amanda’s, locked up and five minutes later we pulled into the drive of her house, which was a quite big Victorian affair with a large walled garden.

“Come on in, I’ll show you to your room and you can get freshened up dried off, there is an en-suite through that door. I’ll get Michael to bring up your things and you can change into dry clothes. I’ll bring in a dressing gown for you to wear while you sort yourself out.”

I soon got out of my wet stuff and into the dressing gown before there was a knock on the door, and Michael brought in all my bags and cases and introduced himself.

“Hello, I’m Michael, as Amanda has probably told you, she says you’ll staying for a few days, she often seems to find waifs and strays and bring them home, so you are more than welcome. Get yourself sorted out and we’ll see you downstairs.”

I quickly dried and brush-styled my hair, freshened up my make-up and put on a clean and dry set of underwear and tights, a skirt and top and sandals, and went down to find my hosts.

“You’re looking a lot more comfortable now Jane, I hope you found everything alright.” said Michael, “Just so you know, you are welcome to stay until you find something for yourself, this is a big rambling place and there is plenty of room without us tripping over each other. Amanda is preparing something for our dinner, obviously there is a place for you too.”

“This is really so kind of you, I would have been happy if Amanda had just dropped me off at a hotel. When we used to visit my grandparents just this side of Seahouses we were always made very welcome by everybody but I thought it was just because of my family connections, but obviously it is more than that and you are a friendly and hospitable lot around here.”

“Dinner’s on the table,” called out Amanda, and we went into the large kitchen which doubled as their family dining area. we had a delicious warming meal of a beef casserole with new potatoes and veg, which was ideal to warm me from the inside after being out in the cold rain.

After dinner Michael went off to his study, supposedly to do some work, but Amanda told me it was really to watch football on TV while we had a womanly chat. After we had cleared up and washed the dishes we sat down with a glass of wine in the large but vey cosy and homely living room.

We chatted about general things and my accident in the car for a while before she asked me why I was moving to the area. I told her about my marriage break-up but not the reason why or the fact that i was really a man, and that I left my home area to start a new life as an independent woman. She was wise enough to not dig too deeply, and respected my privacy.

“I need to get myself sorted out, it has all been a bit sudden and unplanned, but I need a few days to get my head cleared and decide how I am going to go forward from here”

It was soon time for bed, as I was tired from all the driving and from the events of the day and went off to my room. I changed into one of my new nighties, cleaned off my makeup, applied a moisturiser as I had watched Josie do every night for the past eight years, climbed into bed and was asleep almost before my head hit the pillow.

I woke refreshed after a good nights sleep, got myself dressed and presentable, and went down to find Amanda in the kitchen.

‘Grab a coffee, “ she said rather sharply, “you and I need to have a serious talk, we don’t think you have been totally honest with us, is Jane really your proper name?”

To be continued