I woke refreshed after a good nights sleep, got myself dressed and presentable, and went down to find Amanda in the kitchen.

‘Grab a coffee, “ she said rather sharply, “you and I need to have a serious talk, we don’t think you have been totally honest with us, is Jane really your proper name?”

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“What Michael modestly didn’t tell you last night, is that he is a doctor, a GP with his practice up the road in Seahouses. Before he went into general practice he worked in orthopaedics for 3 years and feels that he knows quite a bit about skeletal forms and the differences between male and female body structures. After you went off to bed, he told me that he was certain that you are, or were, a man, he said your bone structure and posture was all wrong. After he said that to me, I thought about your voice and the way you talked and gestured, and have convinced myself that he is probably right. i’m sorry if I have offended or embarrassed you, but what have you got to say to that, and please be honest with me? hope that my directness in bringing this up has not upset you, but as a guest in our house, we think it is only fair that we know who you are.”

I couldn’t speak for a minute or two, I was in shock.

He is right, I am a man, a cross-dresser, but I want to make a new life for myself as a woman, as Jane. I’ve only been presenting myself as female in public for a day really, before that it was just the occasional dressing-up in private. I’m sorry if I have shocked you, particularly after you have been so kind and welcoming. I’ll book into a hotel in the village until my car is fixed, pack my things and leave, thank you so much for what you have done.” I replied, getting up to leave.

“You’ll do no such thing, I didn’t ask you to leave, I just asked you to tell me the truth. sit down we’ll have breakfast and you can tell me the full story this time. Incidentally, you had me fooled, if Michael had not said anything, I would probably not have guessed. Many women are ungainly or have slightly harsh features, it’s only in the glossy magazines that the women are 100% unmistakably feminine, and even then a lot of it is down to cosmetic surgery, talented make-up artists and a bit of photoshop touching up of the images. You are lucky in that you are the size and build that you are, you will not stand out as being bigger or stockier than other women ”

Amanda sat quietly and just let me talk for almost an hour, whilst I told her my story, from the dress-up games and teenage sessions with Chloe, my drift into marriage with what turned out to be a domineering partner, nagging me into working in a boring job with her father, my secret cross-dressing, how she had found out, and how she angrily threw me out of our home, leaving me with only my women’s clothes.

“Josie seems to be a particularly nasty piece of work, it sounds like you are better off without her. This has all been very traumatic for you and you need to stay calm and not do anything rash for a few days until you have got things clear in your mind. Michael and I have no problems with who you are, you have no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed, and you are welcome to stay for a while. It may be best for you to be here anyway, I can shield you from prying eyes and help iron out some of the wrinkles in your behaviour. For only being a woman for one day, you come across very well, you are almost a natural in the way you act, but you definitely need to polish up the rough edges, particularly your voice. There is probably only a limited amount you can do with the pitch, but the inflection and tone can be changed by using a softer way of speaking”

“Why are you being so kind and understanding, I thought that you would be livid, having found me out to be a fraud?”

“Let’s not go into that at the moment, let’s just say that you are not the first person we have met with your problems, and if you felt rejected and at a total loss, who knows where it could lead.”

“Now we know where we are with all that let’s get back to normality and see if we can get your car sorted out”

“ Morning, Jack. did Liz give you the message about the car that needs sorting….very good…If you call round Jane will show you where her car is and you can see what you can do,… see you in a few minutes then.”

“ Go get yourself ready, Jack will be here soon. He sounds a bit slow and simple but he is anything but, he is an absolute wizard with anything mechanical.”

We were soon out at my car, and other than having wheels down in a ditch, it didn’t look damaged. He soon had the car pulled back onto the road and had a close look.

“It’s a bit lopsided, it looks like the suspension struts have got damaged with the impact when it went into the ditch. The bodywork looks ok, just a few minor scratches but they can be polished out, it’s a miracle that there wasn’t more damage. We’ll get it back to the garage and up onto the ramps and have a proper inspection. If it’s as bad as it it looks it will not be a cheap job, you might want to get someone else to give you a price.”

“No let’s just get it sorted, Amanda only had good things to say about you, I’m sure you will be fair with the charges.”

“I’ll probably need to order new parts so it should be a couple of days at least, you better make arrangements to stay with Amanda and Michael for a while.

We got my car back to Jack’s workshop and I left him to it, and walked back through the village to Amanda’s.

“Are you sure it’s ok to stay here for a few days, I can always book in somewhere”

“ Stop asking, I’ve told you it is not a problem. I’ll put the percolator on and we’ll sit down with a coffee and sort out what we are going to do with you. Can we assume that Jane is here to stay, at least for a while? Are you ok for money and can you access your accounts without any problem? Are you looking for work?”

“Unless something drastic happens, Jane is here to stay, it’s something that’s been at the back of my mind for a long time, it is not just a reaction to the situation I find myself in. I’m ok for money, I’ve built up a healthy bank account and a few investments, which are all in my name only and Josie does not have access to them or know my online banking details. My cards are ok for the moment but I will have to inform the bank of my change of name. That is another problem, I will soon have to sort out a deed poll name change so that my driving licence and another official documents can be updated.”

“What was the last one, oh yes, am I looking for work?, I don’t know what I intend to do long term, I don’t want a routine office job like I did for Josie’s father. I have always had a bit of an artistic streak, and enjoyed watching the potters and sculptors at the factory and they taught me some of the basic techniques, and I often thought about setting myself up as a cottage-industry potter producing artisan ware. If i can find somewhere I think I would like to give that a go. I am ok financially for a reasonably long time and setting up costs would not be a problem if I could find the right place.”

“Somewhere to set up is easy, it’s coming to the end of the main tourist season and many of the tourist shops are on seasonal leases and there must be some available. If you are going to sell direct to the public and be open as a craft workshop, there must be some suitable places either here in Beadnell or up at Seahouses. Seahouses will probably be better, the tourist boats go out from there on trips to the Farne Islands for seal and bird watching, and it’s virtually an all year round operation, so there are always visitors about. I can’t remember any pottery workshops anywhere so there should not be any competition for trade, we will just have to find you the equipment and bits and pieces you need.”

“Sounds like you know what’s what around here, do you fancy a trip up to Seahouses and we’ll have a look around the harbour area for me to get a feel for it again, it’s a long time since my last visit. We can make a day of it and get lunch out if you like, my treat, it’s a pleasant day and it should be nice up there.”

I put on my coat which didn’t appear to have suffered from the soaking it had had, and some flat walking shoes and Amanda drove us the couple of miles up to Seahouses and we had an enjoyable afternoon walking around town. We found a couple of available small industrial units off Main Street just up from the harbour, that appeared to be near the main route into town for the tourists and boat trippers, and took down the agent’s details which would let me get an idea of the likely cost of a lease. Business done for the day we went in to one of the many fish restaurants and enjoyed a really tasty fresh crab salad with a thick wedge of home-made bread. It was delicious, we were told that the crab was fresh in that morning and had been crawling around in the sea only a few hours ago.

While we were in town, I went to get temporary pay-as-you-go Sim card for my phone, which would tide me over until I could get a new contract account set up. I didn’t want to get any aggressive phone calls from Josie or give her a chance to use a tracker app to find my location, and other than for business I got very few calls that I couldn’t live without for a while.

We walked for a short way up the beach towards Bamburgh, about two miles away, with the glorious views out to sea to the Farnes, and up the coast to the majestic Bamburgh Castle perched high on its rocky outcrop, before returning to town for a quick coffee and a ‘singing hinny’, a local speciality fruit griddle cake, before heading back to Beadnell.

Are you handy in the kitchen Jane?”

I’m not a bad cook and baker, more enthusiastic and homely rather than cordon bleu, and have often made the meals at home.’

“Come on then you can give me a hand to get the dinner ready, if you like.”

“What sort of things do you cook Jane?”

“All sorts of stuff, from the traditional Sunday roast, Bolognese with spaghetti or in a Lasagne with homemade focaccia bread, curries, mixed grills, I do a mean fish & chips if you have a fat fryer, a very healthy tossed salad with home-made dressing and oven-baked salmon fillet, scones, a delicious banana cake and all sorts of pies and tarts. I told you that when we were growing up my parents were often out leaving Chloe and me to fend for ourselves, and there is no better incentive to learn to cook than being hungry, between us we soon became quite good at it.”

“ Sounds really good, I’ll let you loose in the kitchen tomorrow and I’ll have a night off, it’s a long time since I have had someone make a proper home-cooked meal for me, is that alright?”

“It will be my pleasure, i owe you anyway.”

When Michael came home, I discreetly went up to my room ‘to freshen up’ to give Amanda a chance to tell him about our discussion this morning and for them to agree what was to be done with me.

After dinner the three of us sat down to give Michael a chance to add his comments to those I had received from Amanda earlier.”

“Don’t worry too much about me ‘reading’ you. Because of my training and experience I have a bit of a keen eye for these things, most people would not pick up on some of the things I noticed. With a little bit of constructive criticism from Amanda and a bit longer period of familiarisation, I’m sure that most of the questionable characteristics can be overcome. Amanda has enjoyed your company today, she says that it is good to have another woman about the house to chat with, and if she can accept you as a woman, who am I to disagree? When I felt this morning that you were keeping secrets from us I was ready to ask you to leave, but as she has told you, you are now welcome to stay until you can get yourself sorted out and organised. I’ll leave you two to tidy up and sort things out I’ll go into the study to do a bit of work, and I’ll see you for a nightcap later.”

“ Michael appears fine with me, I don’t know how much you told him but whatever it was he seems to accept me for what I am. Thank you Amanda.”

“I just told him everything you told me, and how natural you appeared and acted as we walked around today. Nobody picked you out or gave you funny looks, I am sure that you will be accepted as just another face in the crowd. Unless you have a need to talk about your gender problems or need medical advice from Michael, let’s not bring the subject up again, you are just Jane my friend, staying with us. Have you decided what you are going to do about your pottery workshop?”

“When I was upstairs earlier I looked at the agents’ websites, and the lease costs seem reasonable. Even if it is not a roaring success as a commercial business, I could treat it all as an expensive hobby which will give me a new professional direction, I have been wanting to do something different for a long time now, I’ve had enough of company politics and fancy the ,freedom of working for myself. I know that operating a small business has it’s own problems, but I think I would like to face the challenges. I will get in touch with the agents and go and have a good look at both the properties, you can come with me if you like.”

“Do you know what you need, and where to get supplies from, think it all through before you jump in with both feet. Before you make any commitments you need the advice of a decent accountant, to make sure your company is set up properly.”

“ I used to handle the company accounts at the factory, but that was mainly book-keeping rather than tax accountancy, so if I go ahead I will need somebody, can you recommend anyone locally?”

“I think so, I’ll speak to her to see if it is something she can take on, meanwhile arrange a visit with the agents and we will go up to inspect the properties.”

We were up early the next morning to go to visit the properties we had seen. One of them was not really suitable, even though it was not very big it was partitioned off into several little areas and had no natural light other than the main openable doors. The other was ideal, it was an open area with lots of light from skylights. It had previously been used as a craft workshop making and selling ‘ganzies’, a local patterned wooly fisherman’s jumper, so the decor was reasonable and it was nearer to the Main Street and potential customers. It also had the benefit of a small flat above the shop. which would get me out of Amanda’s hair and give me a bit of independence. Subject to the legal and financial necessities, I agreed to take it on a 12 month lease. This would give me a chance to work through the slack winter period and build up stock and then see how sales went when the main tourist season started up again.

“Come on now, I’ve arranged to meet your new accountant. We’ve known Grace for years, she is local, from Bamburgh, and she has recently come back to the area from Cumbria where she has been living for a few years.”

We were met by an attractive young woman about the same age as me, dressed in a smart business skirt suit and formal blouse, with shoulder-length hair held back by side combs over her ears, and light minimal makeup, a very professional appearance.

“Hello Grace, it’s good to see you again and looking so well, let me introduce you both. This is a friend of mine, Jane Gibson, who is thinking of starting a small craft workshop in town, and this is Grace Armstrong, who will be happy to deal with any financial or even business legal advice you may need. I’ll sit quietly in the corner now and let you two get down to business”

After the normal pleasantries and getting to know each other we started to discuss my possible business, and I outlines my plans for a pottery and ceramics workshop.

“Jane, what you have to get clear in your own mind is whether you are going to treat this as a serious business, or whether you are playing at this as an indulgent hobby passing time with something you enjoy. If it is to be an an indulgent hobby, I advise you to give up now, I’ve seen too many people lose lots of money, thinking that because they are interested in a particular specialist craft that other people will be prepared to part with their hard-earned money to buy souvenir items that are impulse buys and not really needed. However, if you are serious about this as a business I like the idea of a pottery workshop, particularly if it is tailored to this locality, souvenirs of the Farnes or Bamburgh Castle or Grace Darling or the harbour and fishing history. If you have the talent to produce something quite different, and if you are prepared to work hard for little return in the early days, I think you could make a success of this.”

“I take your point Grace, I am serious about this, it’s all part of a big change in my life and a lot of hard work, but doing something I enjoy is exactly what I need. I know it will be difficult getting started and it will be a few months before I can even think about breaking even on costs, but I can set aside a tight budget that will not cause me a problem, and hopefully we can get into the main tourist season to start reaping the rewards.”

“ You seem to have a good general and realistic approach. Look into the cost of getting the equipment and supplies you need before you sign any leases then come back and see me again. It’s been really nice to meet you Jane, thanks for coming in and I hope to see you soon.”

“Thanks for that introduction Amanda, I quite liked Grace, she seemed to know what she was talking about and was very pleasant and easy going as well.” I said as we arrived back home. ”I’m sure that I will be using her as my accountant.”

“The other thing I would recommend is that before you sign any lease or other legal documents that you officially get your name changed. A full deed poll application takes a few days but once that goes through you can easily change your driving licence, insurance, banking, even your passport and other documents like that. It’s good that you are going ahead with this, it will keep you busy and give you something to concentrate on. Talking of keeping busy didn’t you promise to make the dinner tonight?”

“You go and sit down and relax with a glass of wine, or a cup of tea if you prefer. If you don’t mind me poking around in your cupboards you can leave me to it.”

Just over an hour-and-a-half later, I had prepared a traditional lasagne all made from fresh ingredients and and left it ready to put in the oven later, baked a block of focaccia infused and topped with chopped rosemary leaves, and a Tuscan apple tart for dessert, and dug out a bottle of rich Barolo wine to go with the lasagne. Some of the focaccia was toasted as bruschetta, topped with cream cheese, diced tomatoes and olives as a starter.

Michael and Amanda really enjoyed the meal, particularly Amanda, who said that meals always taste better when someone else cooks them and appreciated the effort I had made.

I got two messages the next morning, one from Jack to say my car was ready if I wanted to pick it up, the other from Grace saying that she knew someone with some pottery equipment that they wanted to get rid of if I was interested.

“Good morning Grace, thanks for the message, depending on what it is I am very interested in seeing the pottery stuff, can you give me the contact details and I’ll go and have a look.”

“ I can do better than that, I am going over to see a client, Julie Marshall who has a painting studio and art shop about 10 miles away. She had thought about widening her range into pottery and figurines, but has decided against it, Find your way up to my office and you can come with me.”

The equipment was almost all new, although the electric kiln was second-hand, but in good condition. I agreed a price, and arranged to pick it all up the next week when I would have the keys to my studio and have my car again.

On the way back to Seahouses, Grace stopped off at a country pub as she said she wanted to have a talk with me, we we got our drinks and she found a quiet corner where we would not be overheard.

“Amanda asked me to have a talk with you. She has told me about your situation, but don’t be embarrassed, because I’ve been in the same position as you, but have now been a full woman for some years, and I can give you a lot of advice and support if you want it.

To be continued.

# For full details of Grace’s background please read “Grace” on my story list.

“Amanda asked me to have a talk with you. She has told me about your situation, but don’t be embarrassed, because I’ve been in the same position as you, but have now been a full woman for some years, and I can give you a lot of advice and support if you want it.

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“I wish she hadn’t said anything, I just want to be accepted as Jane, not to be seen as the village weirdo, but thanks anyway, I appreciate your concern for me. I can’t believe that you are transgender though, you just seem so natural.”

“Thank you but it has taken many years for me to get this far. You can trust me to keep your secret and you can trust Amanda and Michael, they have helped me a lot since I came back here, but be very wary of anyone else, many people are not so liberal-minded. I am now fully accepted by the locals, but it wasn’t always that way. I’ll tell you the story another time, but I just wanted you to know that you have someone you can talk to if you need it.”

“We’ll get together another time and you can tell me the problems you had, and how to avoid them, but meantime I just want to settle in to the community and be accepted as Jane.”

The next few weeks was a busy time, I was now legally Jane, my name change had been cleared, I had signed the lease for the shop, and had brought over all of the equipment and supplies that I had bought from Julie Marshall. With a lot of help from Amanda, I gave the shop and workshop a good clean and a fresh coat of paint, and re-arranged the working areas to suit my intended production processes. I also moved into the flat, buying furniture and cooking utensils from the charity shops, and Amanda gave me a lot of surplus bedding and soft furnishing that she never used. Some of the stuff was not perfect but was quite acceptable and met the purpose, it would do until I got myself fully established. In a way Amanda was sorry to see me leave, she had got used to my company while Michael was doing his work or reading in the study, but was happy that at last I was getting on with my life. We were only 2 miles or so away so we were regular visitors to each other.

It was time to get in touch with my sister Chloe, we had always got on well and she deserved to know that at least I was still alive and well. I had completely disappeared and no doubt Josie had given her all the details, or her own version of it. Since her marriage to Robert, we had drifted apart, I never really got on with him or he with me, so we had all kept our distance. Although I had now got a new phone network contract and number, I used the pay-as-you-go SIM to call her as, until I knew how she reacted to me, I wanted to keep my new details and location a secret

“Hi, Chloe it’s me.”

“Sorry, who is that, I don’t recognise your number or your voice?”

I immediately realised that I had become so used to talking in a feminine voice, and had even picked up a bit of the local Northumbrian accent and would sound totally different to her.

“It’s James, although I am now living as Jane, can we talk? I know I have not been in touch lately but something important has come up.”

“ I’m so glad you have called, I heard all sorts of stories from Josie and have been so worried. She called me up asking if you’re staying with me as you had left home, and when I said I had no idea where you were she got really angry and started calling you, and me, all sorts of nasty foul names.”

“Chloe, can we meet I really need to talk things through with you? As I said I am now living as Jane, as a woman, but am still me. I know that when I dressed up with you, all those years ago, you probably thought it was just a bit of fun, but for me it was much more. Josie threw me out because she discovered that I liked to wear women’s clothes and because she said that I had not been honest with her, but I think that was just an excuse, things have not been good between us for a long time for lots of other reasons. I have moved a long way away from Stoke, can you meet me in Carlisle, it is about halfway and both of us can easily get there by train? I’ll tell you all about where I am living and what I am doing when we meet, but don’t worry, I am ok, and please don’t let Josie know that I have been in touch.”

“You’re right we need to meet, you have shocked me, although I am not surprised, I always thought this might happen sometime. After what she said to me, Josie is the last person I will be talking to. I’ll text you on this number and we can sort times out. Take care until I see you, love you Ja… ne. Bye.”

I got off the train at Carlisle station three days later and made my way to the cafe just off the main concourse. I wanted to make a good first impression as Jane with Chloe and had had my hair styled tinted and streaked, and a professional makeover, at a beauty parlour the day before, and wore a smart scarlet knee-length boat neck shift dress and black Jacket with matching kitten-heel ankle boots. I arrived before her train was due and while I waited for her with a coffee, I did some last minute touching-up of my makeup, I wanted to look my best.

Chloe soon came in, looked around, ordered a coffee and sat down at a table not far from me. She obviously didn’t recognise me, so I picked up my coffee cup and went over to her table.

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“ Actually I am waiting for someone. Oh my god, is that you Ja…ne?” She stood up and came to give me a welcoming hug and kiss. “I saw you sitting there but didn’t recognise you, you are looking gorgeous. let me sit down before I fall down. It’s like looking in a mirror a few years ago” We quickly finished our coffee and went to the hotel next to the station and found a quiet corner in one of the lounges where we could have a more private chat.

i told her all about Josie finding my clothes in the loft, making me leave, having packed only my women’s clothes, and how that led me to make a decision about changing my life style.

“ I am now legally Jane by the way, I officially changed my name, although that is as far as I have gone at the moment, except always presenting myself as a woman. I have wanted to do something more artistic for a long time and I have opened a pottery studio and shop. I have made some good trustworthy friends who know about me, but to everyone else I am just Jane at the pottery studio, another single woman trying to make a living.”

“I just can’t believe you, you are just totally feminine, I love your look and outfit by the way, it all really suits you. I’ll definitely have to start thinking of you as my sister now. You haven’t told me yet where you are living. I understand that you are worried about Josie being able to find you, but after what she called me, blaming me for corrupting you and turning you into a per……, never mind, I wouldn’t tell her the time of day if she asked. She never really liked me anyway and it is mutual.”

“You remember how we always visited Grandma and Grandad when we were kids, well that’s where I ended up, in Seahouses. I was in a right emotional mess, but met some really kind people who helped to sort me out. I am enjoying my new life much more, have some good friends and am happy at my work, what more could I need, particularly if I now have you back in my life too.”

We spent the rest of the afternoon catching up with what we had both been up and it was soon time to get the train home, for both of us a 21/2 hour trip. We promised to meet up again soon, and keep in touch, she now had my address and new phone number. After saying a slightly tearful goodbye, I went home a much happier person, now that Chloe was aware and comfortable with my new life, it was a big weight of my mind.

Grace, who was by now a close friend as well as my accountant, was a member of the local lifeboat crew, her family had a long history of involvement, and she convinced me that joining in would help me integrate into the local community and get me quickly accepted as belonging to, rather than just living in, the town. Going out to sea particularly in rough weather did not appeal to me, but there were lots of shore crew roles for me to take on, helping to maintain and stock the boats and assisting with their launch and recovery and general support during incidents, and I soon found that there was a very close relationship, almost a family atmosphere, among the staff and other volunteers. It was useful when I needed extra pairs of hands to do heavy lifting and such like in my studio and shop, there was always someone available and willing to help.

I was soon able to turn my attention to the pottery business, and after a lot of trial and error, I soon had several master models and their associated silicone moulds, that gave me acceptable clay or porcelain castings . I now felt confident that I knew what I was doing and could produce an acceptable range of items for sale and committed with suppliers for a regular delivery of raw materials. I had started off with items for the tourist souvenir market, a grey-seal lying on a rock, the Longstone lighthouse, the ‘RNLB Grace Darling’ lifeboat on a stormy sea, and Bamburgh Castle, the last two being particularly fiddly needing several separate casts which were then stuck together with slip before firing in the kiln, glazing and re-firing.

After several attempts I finally mastered the final painting and finishing and was satisfied enough to put them on display for sale. While I was working I was happy to encourage visitors to watch and even to have a go themselves and word was beginning to get around about my workshop, and I was getting some income, enough to live on but not making much extra.

Although the figurines were the most intricate to make and were the most expensive items, most of the visitors were more interested in me throwing the clay and drawing out a bowl or vase on the turntable, it was a much quicker operation and the results could be seen in a few minutes while they watched. I also personalised vases bowls and mugs by tacking on or cutting in names or commemorative messages or simplified family crests as required and this proved an extremely popular, and profitable, sideline.

“ How are you settling in?” asked Michael one evening when I had Amanda and him round for dinner. “You seem to be getting your pottery business sorted out and fitting in with the lifeboat crew, but how about your personal life? Have you given any thoughts about relationships or where you want to end up? I’m asking as your doctor now, are you happy to stay as you are, crossdressing, which is not unusual, or are you thinking about sometime transitioning to fully become a woman.”

“I am not sure, to be honest I haven’t thought about it, I’ve been so busy recently. I suppose that means that I am probably happy as I am for the moment. I think I may go down that road eventually but it’s one step at a time, I’m still adjusting to acting and dressing as a woman. If I change my mind I’ll comes to the surgery and have a proper official discussion with you.”

It was soon approaching Christmas and the lifeboat crew and volunteers always had a bit of a celebration in one of the hotels down by the harbour and now I was on the crew I was invited. Whilst not a ‘black-tie’ do, everyone made an effort to go smartly dressed, and as it fitted the mood of the season I wore the same scarlet dress as when I had met Chloe, only this time paired with 4”stiletto heeled colour-matching court shoes, and a much more glitzy party makeup and jewellery, and felt quite glamorous.

Whilst most of us had an excellent meal and an enjoyable time, some of the lads were on standby for emergency call-outs, and limited their drinking. Luckily it all went off smoothly with no alarm pagers going off and it was a very enjoyable and sociable night. Later most of the crew, mainly the married members, left for home, leaving only a few of us, still single and unattached, to stretch the evening out.

As we were getting ready to go home, Andy, who worked in the local bank as well as crewing the main boat helped me on with my coat.

“Would you like me to walk you home Jane, I know it’s not far, but on a dark winter’s night an attractive young lady like you should not be out on the streets on her own.” He caught me by surprise, it was the first time anyone had made any sort of play for me and I was glad that I was seen as worth the effort.

“Thank you Andy, after spending all day in jeans and a smock top in the studio it’s nice to dress up properly and feel feminine again, and thank you for the ”attractive young lady” comment I really appreciate it.”

He walked me back to the flat, and I invited him in for a coffee, mainly out of politeness, rather than as an invitation for anything more.

“ I’d love to but I really have to be up early tomorrow to go down to Newcastle, maybe next time. I’d like to get to know you better, let’s have a drink sometime, I’ll pop in to the shop and arrange something.”

He gave me a hug and a long goodnight kiss and went off. My emotions were all confused, Andy was a nice lad, and quite attractive, but I wasn’t sure that I was ready for a steady relationship yet, I enjoyed the warmth of the hug and kiss, but didn’t feel any magical buzz of excitement. It unsettled me, I hadn’t really thought about my sexuality as a part of my new gender lifestyle.

The Saturday morning before Christmas, Chloe rang me up, clearly very upset.

“Robert and I have had a major row, I need a bit of space, can I come and stay with you over the holidays until things calm down?”

“Of course you can Pet, you can stay as often and as long as you like, but you’ll have to take the place as you find it, it’s a bit small but I can clear out the the spare room that I am using for storage. Are you driving up or coming by train?”

“It might be tiring, but I’ll drive up. If the traffic is not too bad, I should be there in about 5 or 6 hours by the time I get a couple of cases packed and stop for a break somewhere. I’ll give you a ring if there are any problems and when I am near, and you can guide me in. I’ll use the satnav but you can’t always rely on them.”

“ Drive carefully Pet, there is no rush, if you need to stop for a rest it is no problem, and calm yourself down before you drive, you need all your attention on the roads.”

The next few hours were hectic, I put a lamb and vegetable casserole on a slow cook in the oven to have a nice hearty meal ready whenever Chloe arrived, moved all my storage stuff from the spare room down into the studio, gave the place a clean, changed the bedding, and cleaned myself up and put on fresh clothes ready for her arrival.

She arrived in Seahouses early evening and gave me a call from the harbour car park, which was as good a place to leave the car as anywhere.

“I’m so glad you made it ok, let’s get your cases up to the flat and you can tell me all about your row.” I said as we hugged each other tightly, before making our way inside

“Actually the row started off all about you, Robert had bumped into Josie and she told him about the pair of you splitting up and why, most of which was a lot of spite and venom. I told him that I knew all about it, and that I had met up with you, and he went crazy, accusing me of keeping secrets from him, and encouraging you to continue with your “perverted lifestyle”. Things had been a bit cool between us for a while and it just brought everything to a head, and all the recent arguments came back again and it all got quite nasty. He can be very selfish and controlling. He stormed out in a blazing temper and that is when I rang you. I packed and left the house before he returned.”

“ Does he know where you are, and more to the point, where I am, if he is in touch with Josie she could easily get details from him and just turn up on the doorstep.”

“ No, you are alright, the only details of you are on my phone here.”

“Turn your phone off and use my spare SIM card, if he is so controlling he may have a tracker app on your phone.”

Chloe went to unpack her stuff and get freshened up while I boiled some potatoes to go with the casserole and set the table. Over dinner and a glass or two of sauvignon blanc we did a lot of catching up, when we had met in Carlisle there had been no mention of her problems with Robert.

“Forget about his reaction to me, for a moment, had you considered breaking up before this argument?”

“I had sometimes thought about it, particularly when he went on at me about giving up work, he said that he made enough money to keep us both and he would like me to stay at home and run the house. He also discouraged me from meeting friends, but then you know all about that, he never liked me meeting up with you or even talking to you on the phone. But I was frightened to leave, we had been together about 8 years and it was a comfortable safe relationship even if not a particularly happy loving one.”

“Do you want to make up with him or break up? Take it from someone who has been there, breaking up and starting a new life can be very traumatic, but eventually it can lead to better things and you will begin to see things in a new light and remember things that you had ignored before that should have given you a sign that things were not well. It’s all a balance, nothing is perfect, only you can decide, but until you do decide you are more than welcome to stay here.”

“I’d love to stay if you are sure it’s ok, but I need to get things sorted out, I need money to live on I can’t freeload on you for ever.”

“That’s easy, if you use your credit cards and ATM cards the locations will show up on the statements and tell him where you are. On Monday we’ll open up a new bank and credit card account for you, I’ll loan you the money for that to get you started. Tomorrow we’ll access your old account on line and transfer it all to me, and then I’ll pass it on it to your new account. That way, nothing should be traceable.”

Chloe decided to leave Robert in the dark for a few days until she decided what she wanted to do, and we settled down for a general social chat, mainly about our parents who had now retired to a villa just outside Torremolinos in Spain, living a free and easy lifestyle, which suited them down to the ground as they had never been a conventional couple or doting parents.

On Sunday, we accessed Chloe’s accounts and transferred the bulk of it to me, which meant that Robert had no chance of getting his hands on it, and on Monday we completed the loop by moving it into new accounts we had set up for her. It would not have been much of a problem anyway, but was made a lot easier as we arranged it all with Andy, my friend from the lifeboats, who was assistant manager at the local bank. Chloe was now financially independent and untraceable.

For the rest of the week until we closed for the holidays, while Chloe thought about what to do, she kept herself busy helping around the studio. While I got on with the artistic stuff, she kept the place tidy and organised and dealt with the customers and visitors. She had called her employers, a firm of solicitors, to let them know that she had personal problems and needed some time off, which they agreed to as long as she kept them informed, particularly as they were closing for a long holiday break from Christmas Eve until after New Year,.

One day, the RNLI pager went off, and I rushed down to the slipway to see if I was needed for anything, leaving Chloe to lock up. We got the boat launched and they went off to look for some kayakers that had been going out to the Farnes but had been dragged out by the rip tide between the Inner and outer islands. It was not a life-threatening emergency, and the crew were soon back. Chloe had come down to the station to watch the activity, and when Andy came up from the boat she went quickly down to him asking for all the details and arranged that when the crew was stood down and changed out of their sea-suits they would meet for a drink to talk all about it.

“It hasn’t taken you long to get back on your feet after your problems with Robert, has it? Andy is a nice lad, you and him are well-suited, but tread carefully. He did show an interest in me, but never followed it up, which does not bother me as at the moment I am not on the market.”

“I just went for a drink with him, but I must admit I do like him a lot and admire what he does. It’s amazing some of the things the crew has to deal with and it is so selfless that most of them are unpaid volunteers. We have arranged to meet up to see in the New Year down at the hotel with the rest of the crew, if that is ok with you, will you be going too?”

“I’ll be there, New Year has always been a big thing around here and the party will be going on most of the night, even after the hotel closes, there will be a lot of ‘first-footing’, visiting peoples houses around the town, so be prepared for a long night.”

Before Chloe had called to ask to stay with me, I had arranged to spend Christmas Day with Amanda and Michael, and when they heard that Chloe was staying with me, she was invited too. We were up early, opened the presents we had bought each other, Chanel Allure EdP and a cashmere jumper for me, and Cacherel Anais Anais and a handbag for Chloe, along with a few little bits and pieces, accompanied by a celebratory glass of Bucks Fizz, before heading off to the church for the early Christmas communion service.

After church we went round early to help with the preparation of the dinner, although when we got there Amanda seemed to have the main things under control. There were to be 8 for dinner, the four of us plus Jill, Michaels partner in his GP practice, and her husband Keith, Carol the local parish vicar, and her husband Jack. It was a busy morning, the goose was already cooked and ‘resting’, but there were still all the vegetables and trimmings to prepare, the smoked salmon and prawn starters to make up, and the table to set. Michael left us three girls to get on with it while he made a couple of planned quick home visits to deal with medical problems, they didn’t go away just because it was Christmas.

The other guests arrived, introductions were made and we sat down to a really enjoyable meal. The food was delicious, the company all seemed to mix well, and Michael had put out some excellent wines to help things along. Carol and Jack had to leave soon after so that she could prepare for the evening service, Jill and Keith stayed for a while longer before they had to go home where they had promised to pop in to see their elderly neighbours, and soon it was just the four of us left to clear everything up and tidy the dining room and kitchen.

“Thank you so much for your help today girls,” said Amanda, “it made things a lot easier. I don’t normally expect dinner guests to help out but you are almost one of the family Jane and it is always good to see you. I’m so glad that you and Chloe are getting on so well again, both of you have had a hard time recently.”

When Chloe left the kitchen to keep Michael company, Amanda asked me how long Chloe was staying for.

“ I’m definitely getting a bit more girly , I see romance in the air with her and Andy, and who knows where that will lead and how long it will last. Even if it doesn’t work out I think she might settle here too.”

“ And how about you? You seem content and relaxed now, the simple life and sea air is doing you a lot of good.”

“I’m happy as I am at the moment. you and Michael have helped an awful lot to make it much easier for me to re-adjust and I really owe you. This year has seen major changes in my life that I had never in my wildest dreams thought would happen. This Christmas has definitely been different for me, being one of the girls, helping you in the kitchen, getting perfume and makeup as presents, and generally feeling happy to be accepted as I am. I am definitely getting used to living like this, and enjoying it.”

To be continued.

This year has seen major changes in my life that I had never in my wildest dreams thought would happen. This Christmas has definitely been different for me, being one of the girls, helping in the kitchen, getting perfume and makeup as presents, and generally feeling happy to be accepted as I am. I am definitely getting used to living like this, and enjoying it.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next week running up to New Year was a fairly casual affair, I opened the pottery studio in the afternoons to cater for the few tourists who were having a holiday break and to get on with producing more stock, when the season really started at Easter I needed to have lots of items ready for sale.

Two of us getting ready for the big night out was a bit more hectic, getting in each others way, showering, doing our hair, getting party makeup applied and getting dressed. Feeling quite glamorous and ready to have a good night out, the pair of us walked arm-in-arm down to “The Bamburgh Castle’ at the harbour. It was an informal affair, unlike the Christmas party there, just socialising drinking and having a good time. To the strains of ‘Auld Lang Syne’ and the chimes of ‘Big Ben’ the celebrations really started , it was a round robin of all our friends and colleagues with hugs and kisses and ‘Happy New Year’ wishes. Whilst most of it all was just friends being friendly my hug and kiss with Grace was different, I felt a sense of real excitement and a nervous tingling that I hadn’t felt for months. I looked into her eyes and was sure that I saw something similar with her.

When things settled down again, Chloe was deep in conversation with Andy, arms around each other and eyes locked, and Grace and I found a quiet(ish) corner and talked about what had just happened.

“ Grace, you know all about me and who I am, but that hug with you reawakened a lot of feelings in me. I am sure that it is not just the drink talking but I would like to get to know you a lot better, whether it is as a man and woman, or as two women, or something in-between is something that we need to sort out. Do you think the same?”

“This is not the time and place for this discussion, but yes, we do need to sort things out. What a right pair we are, the natives are quite tolerant of me as a transexual, but what they would make of me in a lesbian relationship is anyone’s guess, and a lesbian with a cross-dresser will probably blow their minds. Let’s just enjoy the party tonight and leave the serious stuff for another time.”

The party went on through the night, visiting peoples houses in turn with the traditional gifts of cake drink and a piece of coal as ‘first foot’ wishes of prosperity for the coming year, finishing up at Grace’s. When everyone else had left Grace and I had a quite passionate goodbye hug and kiss before Andy escorted Chloe and I back home. I went straight to bed to dream of what might or might not happen with Grace and I, leaving Chloe and Andy to each other’s company.

I woke the following morning with an enormous hangover, making a New Years Resolution never to drink like that again, and wandered into the kitchen in just my nightie to put some coffee on. The smell of the coffee brought Chloe out of her room, wearing a smug self-satisfied smile, quickly followed by Andy with a spring in his step, Chloe and I would have a lot to talk about later.

Chloe going out with Andy looked like it was going to become a regular thing, and although I was happy for her that she was moving on with her life, it raised the point that both her and I had previous lives that needed to be sorted out, and later, on our own, I brought up the subject.

“ Chloe, you and I both need to sort things out with Josie and Robert. Whether or not your fling with Andy becomes serious you need to decide if you are staying here or going back to Robert, or at least going back to your job in Stoke. You need to let your boss know when, if ever, you are returning to work. I need to formalise my break with Josie, I am definitely not going back to my old life.”

“Being with Andy has reminded me of how controlling and possessive Robert is and there is no way I am going back to that, but I at least owe him that discussion. Do you fancy coming down to Stoke with me, I can talk with him, and then go into the office to let George, the practice senior partner know what I am doing. I think that I need a bit of moral support and it would be great if you could be with me.

The following day, having called ahead to make arrangements, we took turns driving the 250 miles down to Stoke. Chloe went into the house to talk with Robert, and I waited outside in the car. After half-an-hour she rushed out of the door, breaking free of his grip on her arm, jumped into the car, crying, and told me to drive away quickly. We found a pub, not far away, and went inside for her to tell me what happened.

“He was horrible, he does not accept that he has done anything wrong, he again accused me of turning you gay, and called you and me lots of names. He was not going to let me leave, he told me that my place was as a wife to him and that I should forget all the nonsense of starting a new life. He grabbed me violently and slapped me a few times and tried to close the door and lock me in the kitchen but I managed to break free and get out. There is no way I am going back to him after that. Let me get myself cleaned up and redo my makeup and we’ll go and see George next, now I do not want to talk just about my job, but I want to start divorce proceedings.

“Hi George, this is my sister Jane, if you don’t mind I would like her to be in on this discussion. Firstly I apologise for leaving you in the lurch by just taking off like that, but when I explain things in a minute, I’m sure you will understand. I have split with my husband and to get away from him I have left the area and so have to give you my notice. If you can manage to get someone else I will not be returning to the office, I’m sorry if this in inconvenient for you.”

“ We’ll deal with that in a minute, just tell me what this is all about first.”

“Robert and I have not been getting on too well recently and before Christmas we had a major row and I had to get away from him. I’ve just been to see him to see if we could resolve matters, but he got quite violent with me, physically and emotionally, and there is now no way that I can go back to him. I want to start divorce proceedings and get it over and done with as soon as possible, can you or the practice handle that for me?”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I never particularly got on with him, but nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Of course we can deal with it, but you need to tell me what caused the problems and give me ammunition to use against him, the more unreasonable we can show him to be the easier it will be to get a fair divorce settlement.”

Chloe gave me a questioning look which I understood to ask whether to tell George about me, and I smiled and nodded back to her in agreement.

She then took him through the whole story of me being discovered and being thrown out of my house and job, how I had fled up to Northumberland and started a new life, how this led to the row between Chloe and Robert highlighting how controlling and possessive he had been, how she had joined me in Seahouses, and the details of what had just happened between her and Robert.”

“I don’t blame you Chloe, I’m surprised you lasted so long, you always seemed a strong personality in the office, not the type to let somebody treat you like that. I don’t think we will have any problems getting a divorce granted and we should be able to get you a reasonable settlement too. Although you have cleared your own bank accounts, you are entitled to your share of any joint properties, including the house. I’ll get started on that later today, if you are sure. On any documents I will use this office as your official address, there is no way I will give any indication of where you are living, and will forward everything on to you. You also have a right go back to the house to get whatever of your personal possessions are still there. It’s a bit late to be travelling all the way back tonight, if you want to stay somewhere overnight I have spare rooms at home and you can go back tomorrow to get your stuff. I’ll arrange that you are accompanied by someone to protect you while you are doing it, in case he is still in the house. if you don’t mind i would like to take a few photos of your bruises and welts where he hit you and restrained you today, it will be useful for the records”

“As for you Jane, do you wish me to act on your behalf too. Obviously given your personal situation there is no way you are going back to your former life and the sooner you make a clean break the better. All the things I said to Chloe about a fair settlement and retrieving any personal possessions apply to you too. The fact that the house was bought by Josie’s father for her is irrelevant, it was your family home and you are entitled to a fair share to cover what you had put into to the family finances. The other thing to get to grips with is your summarily dismissal from your job, without due reasons, that will be counted as unfair dismissal and there is a good case for significant compensation. Your personal home life and how you choose to live is irrelevant to your employment rights, unless it impacted on your work. I take it that there were never any formal, or even informal, complaints about how well you did your job?”

“Yes I would like you to represent me too. There were never any complaints against me, it was solely because of my problem with Josie, but I have no evidence of why I was dismissed, no letter sacking me or anything like that, the only thing I have is the P45 Leaving Employment tax form that the firm sent me the day after Josie threw me out. I had to get a copy from the Department of Social Security when I registered my new details with them. I went through all the details of my life with Josie and how she had treated me with disdain, and how nasty she was when she threw me out, and gave him all the necessary names, addresses and contact details”

“That will do for a start, please send me a copy of the P45. Unless there is anything else let’s call it a day here. Despite your circumstances and the reason that you are here, it has been a pleasure meeting you both, I wish all my clients were as clear and concise in telling me their problems as you two have been. If I am allowed to say so Jane, I believe you have made the right lifestyle decision, you seem so comfortable and natural as woman. I can assure you that your choice will in no way affect any of the legal arguments for the divorce and settlement.”

We stayed overnight with George and the next morning we went round to our former homes to take whatever belonged to us. Luckily both Josie and Robert were out at work and the protection he had arranged for us was not necessary. I took very little, I had no need for any of James’ clothes, it was mainly just family items and gifts and things of sentimental value. With Chloe it was a different matter, we loaded several cases of clothes and bags of shoes into the car along with many items which were personal or which she considered a fair division of joint possessions.
At both houses, we left a note that George had drafted saying what we had done so there would be no chance of accusations of theft.

“That’s all over now Chloe, no going back, any regrets?” We were talking in the car on the journey back to Seahouses.

“ Lots of regrets about various things that happened and that I hadn’t dealt with and left sooner, but none at all about making the break from Robert. We’ll see how things go with Andy, but he is not the reason for my decision to break up, after what Robert said and did yesterday any lingering affection for him has now gone.”

“It’s different with Josie and me, I didn’t have any real choice, but I am more happy and content now than I have been for ages. We’ve got the opportunity to start completely new lives, particularly me, let’s hope we don’t make as much a mess of them as our previous ones.”

Life settled into a routine when we got home, I kept working away at the pottery and porcelain, Chloe started working as PA to Grace leaving me to run the studio on my own, Chloe started seeing Andy regularly and I was beginning to feel the need for more company.

Other than casual meetings in town or at the lifeboat station, Grace and I had not followed up on what had happened at New Year, and it was time that we got something sorted out, one way or the other. I called her and asked whether she fancied going out for lunch and we drove a little way down the coast to Dunstanburgh for a bit of privacy and found a quiet corner in a comfortable country hotel with a view over to the medieval castle ruins.

“Grace, I’ve been thinking about what we said at New Year, and I’d like to see a lot more of you. I don’t know how you feel, you may want a real man, after all you have been through you probably want to just get on with your life and live a full life like any other woman, not get into a relationship with someone like me who doesn’t know what they want to be.”

“To be honest with you I have had several relationships with men over in Cumbria before I came back home, but since then nothing. Obviously I enjoyed the physical side of the relationships but I never had any big emotional attachment or felt that I wanted to settle down with any of them. Those kisses with you at New Year were the first time that I have felt close to anyone. Before we go any further I would really like to know who you truly are. Have you given any thought to how far you want to go? Are you happy as you are just wearing the clothes or do you want to go all the way like I have.”

“I will give you the same answer that I gave Michael, I don’t really know, which probably means that I am not committed enough to transition, but I definitely intend to live and work as Jane, I am much more at ease with myself than I recently was as James. When we kissed I had a definite tingling in my loins, so I think that whatever I look like, I still am attracted to women rather than men.”

“Thanks for being honest, it is probably the answer I was looking for. I like the idea of a female friend with added benefits so we could have the emotional and practical comfort of each other, but the physical comforts are always available too. I’m game to give it a go if you are, but let’s tread slowly and carefully, it’s a bit of an unusual path we are going down and we need to take our friends along with us gently rather than slapping them in the face with an instant getting together. Come here and give me a big hug !”

Among our close friends, Amanda and Michael, Chloe and Andy, and the guys at the station, our getting closer came as no major surprise or shock and was half-expected. We kept our own homes and had our own lives but spent a lot of time together at each other’s places. How obvious our relationship was to others in the town was anybody’s guess, but nobody made any comments to us and we never felt that we were the subject of gossip, nobody turning their backs to us or stopping mid-conversation when we entered a shop or anything like that.

Over the next few weeks, George prepared the divorce petitions and settlement agreements for both Chloe and me, with a lot of back-and-forth correspondence and emails. We heard that there had been several angry scenes in his office with both Josie and Robert demanding to know where we were, complaining about us taking our possessions without telling them beforehand, and arguing about the settlement claims. George ended up taking out restraining orders against them preventing them or their families approaching his office or home and insisting that the only contact was to be via their solicitors.

However nowadays divorce is a fairly routine process, and the legalities were soon all cleared. In Chloe’s case she claimed unreasonable behaviour for Robert’s controlling attitudes and for the physical abuse she had received when she went back to get her possessions. Robert was glad in the end to be rid of her, although he wasn’t happy with having to pay out half of the value of the house and contents. Chloe now had enough to set her up in her own flat, walking distance from my studio so that we still had each other’s regular company.

My case was a bit more difficult, I claimed unreasonable behaviour from Josie in throwing me out and getting me sacked from my job , she counter-claimed that my cross-dressing was unacceptable and unreasonable, but whichever was the major factor it was obvious to the court that the marriage had broken down, and both of us wanted a clean break and a new start, and the divorce was granted. The settlement was a bit more difficult, Josie and her father claimed that the house was her personal property and not jointly owned by us as husband and wife, but the court disagreed, and I received a substantial settlement. My dismissal from work went to an industrial tribunal, which, after checking my employment records which listed my dismissal as for “unreasonable behaviour” with no previous warnings, awarded me compensation for loss of earnings and damages for “hurt and suffering” as well as a substantial fine to the firm for breaches of employment law. Josie and her father were livid, they threatened to find me and expose me as a pervert, bur George had managed to cover our tracks completely, and other than in his confidential files, there was no record of where we were living or my new identity

Life was good, my past was all sorted out and behind me, I was in a relationship with a wonderful person, and settled in my new life with what promised to be a successful little business, what could go wrong?

To be continued

Life was good, my past was all sorted out and behind me, I was in a relationship with a wonderful person, and settled in my new life with what promised to be a successful little business, what could go wrong?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Winter soon passed and spring arrived, the days were becoming longer and brighter, the snowdrops had been and gone and early daffodils were beginning to break through, and this brought out the early tourists too. Hardy souls going out on the boats to the Farnes to look for the puffins arriving for their breeding season and watching the new seal pups enjoying their first season playing in the surf.

Spring also started to bring in visitors and customers to the studio and business was building up. I had built up a decent level of stock over the dark winter months, sales were going well, and I was able to fill the time between customers replenishing any stock that had been sold. I was much happier and more content than I had been for years.

Grace and I were rarely apart, except during working hours, to all intents and purposes we were now a couple and most of our friends and the crew at the lifeboat station accepted us as we were. Seahouses is a small community, those that knew us just treated us as they would any other couple, and we were the butt of as many jokes and saucy comments as anyone else, to those that didn’t know us we were just nice pleasant people living in the village.

When we both had time off together we enjoyed sailing out around the Farnes or up the coast to Bamburgh or down to Alnmouth. Grace had a 4.2m Laser dinghy, that she had learned in when living as a boy, and then used to sail up and down the coast or out to the Farne Islands or over to Holy island (Lindisfarne). It was an easy boat to handle single-handedly and it became her escape from the world where she could forget her worries and cares, and become the girl she knew she really was, and live out some of her fantasies covering the waters that her heroine Grace Darling had travelled.

She had now got over her obsession with Grace Darling, but still enjoyed the freedom that sailing gave her, the wind through her hair and sea spray on her face, and the playful and inquisitive seals and the occasional dolphins swimming up to the boat. She regularly went out by herself, but whenever I could I joined her. She was the sailor and I was just a passenger enjoying the ride.

It was a nice calm day, there was a moderate wind and the seas were a bit choppy, but not too rough. We were sailing out between Brownsman and South Wamses islands in the outer Farnes being escorted by a school of dolphins enjoying the thrill of nature. One of the dolphins came in too close and bumped and rocked the boat, and Grace let go off the tiller to steady herself, just at the same time as there was a sudden gust of wind which caught the sail, the boom swung over hit her head and knocked her into the water.

I started to panic, I had only a little knowledge of controlling the boat, and turning it around to get close in to Grace was beyond my capabilities, although I did manage to stay not too far away by dropping the sail. She was wearing a life jacket and staying afloat, but appeared unconscious and not moving. I found a line and threw it out to her, but she made no attempt to catch it or grab for it.

I did the only thing I could think of, I tied a line to the boat and around me , dived in, and swam out to her and somehow hauled us back to the boat. She was still unconscious, but with difficulty I managed to get us both back on board. We were out of immediate danger but the Spring sea had been extremely cold and we were both wet and shivering and she had still not recovered consciousness.

Although I was not part of the lifeboat crew, i had been to some of the training nights with them and knew that the most important thing was to keep warm. The Laser was only a small dinghy really, and meant for short trips, there was no storage space for any equipment other than needed for sailing, so my only choice was to take off my waterproof anorak and put it on Grace. I was very cold and wet but was in much better condition than Grace and if I wanted to get her back alive I had no other choice.

Luckily my phone was in a waterproof pouch and I was able to call 999 , get through to the Coastguard service and request lifeboat help. While we waited for the lifeboat to arrive, I cuddled Grace tightly to share what body warmth we had, and the boat just drifted and bobbed on the light swell. This made me realise how much Grace meant to me and I was determined that if and when we got out of all this trouble that she was the one for me. I also determined that if Grace wanted to continue sailing after this that I needed to learn how to operate and control the dinghy, it is always best to have backup in case of an emergency

We were drifting very close to the shore of South Wamses and were in danger of ending up on the rocks when the lifeboat appeared on the horizon and it was soon with us, it was the crew from Seahouses. It manoeuvred close to us and Andy jumped over to help. He wrapped a thermal blanket around the still unconscious Grace, grabbed the line that the crew had thrown over and pulled us in close enough to transfer Grace across. She was in a really bad way, other than shivering totally immobile, and as soon as I jumped across the lifeboat raced back at full speed to base, leaving Andy to bring in the Laser.

I was checked out in the station and, other than being extremely cold and wet, was unhurt and not in any danger. Grace was rushed off in an ambulance, and I was taken home by Chloe to get cleaned off , warmed up, and changed into dry clothes before going into the hospital to check on Grace. While I was getting changed Chloe checked that Andy was OK and that he had managed to bring in the dinghy safely.

When we arrived, Grace was still unconscious, the blow to the head had been severe, and as she had been in the water for some time the was a worry about secondary drowning, where water has got into the lungs, and although not apparent as a problem, can still cause death.

While we were sitting at her bedside, I called the station to let them know what was happening, and whilst being congratulated on saving Grace, I was given a lecture on the foolhardiness of diving in after her, it could easily have led to both of us drowning, but it was an automatic reaction to save the woman I loved.

Chloe went down to the station to check on Andy and to thank him for saving Grace and me, with what she said was a bit of help from the rest of the crew. It had been a fairly routine rescue and after the initial worries were over there was some amusement that two of the lifeboat crew had to be rescued, it brought home to them that a problem at sea could happen to anyone and not to be judgemental at the apparent stupidity of some people on the water.

The local paper had a lot of contact with the lifeboat station and often featured stories of our call-outs to highlight the work we do and why we needed support from both locals and visitors, and our rescue featured in the next edition, along with a photo of me working at the potters wheel in the studio.

Grace was unconscious for three more days, her body seemed fine and needed no life-support, other than the normal monitors, but her brain had switched off. Nevertheless I was in there every morning, holding her hand and talking to her. On the fourth day her eyes opened and she smiled, I was never so glad to see a smile, and called the nurses immediately. Her recovery after that was quite rapid and within a day she was talking and walking as if nothing had been wrong and was discharged. The doctors had advised that she was not to be left alone for a few days, so I moved in with her, and Chloe took over nursemaid duties during the day, running Grace’s business from her home, to allow me to keep the studio open.

A week later I was working at the wheel throwing clay for a bowl, when I heard a familiar voice.

“ Hello pervert, did you think you could escape from me for ever.?”

“ Josie, what on earth are you doing here, how did you manage to find me?”

“James dear, we live in the internet age, if you search long enough people always turn up. I had managed to trace your deed-poll name change, it is information available to the public. After that it was just a matter of searching for Jane Gibson, you have kept your head down, no social media, no publicity, then all of a sudden there you were in a story in your local newspaper about your rescue, along with your photo. You have changed a lot, but even with the longer hair and make-up you were still recognisable. I thought ‘this is my lucky day, I must buy a lottery ticket’ and here I now am.”

“ Look Josie, I don’t want any trouble, I have settled here, well away from you, and have a new life. What do you want, or have you just come here to annoy me?”

“You have ruined my life James, you ran away from me, I am a laughing stock as the story of your cross-dressing somehow became known, you almost bankrupted my father’s company with your claim for compensation for unfair dismissal, I had to sell my house to give you your settlement, and you ask if I came here to annoy you. Too bloody right I have !”

“Don’t think that you can threaten to make my details public, most people that matter already know my background, and let me tell you, you are not well-liked around here. By the way, my name is now Jane, as you well know, please use it, there is not longer a James.”

“The other thing you need to know James, is that Robert is up here with me, and right now he is looking for your sister Chloe, he almost feels as bitter about her as I do about you, and when he finds her I wouldn’t like to be in her shoes, the pair of us are going to make your lives hell.

“ Get out now, you can threaten me as much as you like, but I will not have you threatening Chloe.”

“ My oh My, aren’t you the macho one now, don’t get your panties in a twist, you can change your clothes and voice and lifestyle, but a bit of the old James is still there. I’m off now, but be assured that I’m not leaving town, I’ll see you around.”

As soon as she left, I locked the door and phoned Chloe to let her know Robert was in town looking for her, and not to answer the door, I closed the studio and raced around to Grace’s to make sure that they were both ok. I was too late, Robert was already in the house, shouting and screaming at Chloe with his hands around her throat. Grace was trying to pull him away but he was far too strong for the pair of them. Just like a scene from an old film, I picked up a chair and smashed it over his head, he stumbled and finally crumpled into a heap of the floor, not moving.

The police were at the house within minutes and Robert had still not moved, we thought he might be dead. They found that he still had a pulse, called an ambulance and took him away, still unconscious, to hospital. The three of us gave our statements to the police, Grace and Chloe describing the attack by Robert and how I had hit him to stop him strangling her, and me describing the visit from Josie and her threats.

Within a couple of days, Robert was discharged from hospital and went straight into police custody in the next cell to Josie. Robert was charged with attempted murder and GBH (Grievous Bodily Harm), Josie with Conspiracy to Murder and Threatening Behaviour, and because of their violent behaviour they were remanded in custody, in prison, until their trial.

“ Grace, all this, the accident, your coma, and now this assault, has hit home how much I love you and want to take care of you, please marry me. I know that it cannot be what you were looking for when you transitioned, and that you were probably dreaming of a tall handsome man walking you down the aisle someday, but you will never find anyone who loves you like I do.”

“Don’t be silly Jane, I’ve had my times with macho men, and they are not for me, I love you the way you are. Of course we should get married, the only problem will be who is the bride and who is the groom.” We both burst out laughing at that, hugged and kissed for what seemed like hours and were both in seventh heaven.

“ Before we get married Jane, you need to sort out what you are going to do, are you going to continue to live as you are, as a cross-dresser, or are you going to transition into a full woman, or are you thinking of going back to life as a man? I need to know who I am going to marry.”

“I have been thinking about this a lot recently since your accident. As you well know, my sexual orientation is definitely towards women, I still enjoy the man/woman intimate relations we have, I have no desire to have sex as a woman and see no need to fully transition, although I would like to continue looking and dressing as I do now, I also have no wish to appear as a man again. However I think it would be more convenient if I had breast implants so at least looked more natural as a woman, rather than having hormone treatment which I think will affect my libido. Do you think you could settle with that. Please tell me if you cannot accept that, I would rather face up to things now rather than months or years down the line.”

“ As I’ve told you before, it is you as a person that I want to be with, I’ve only ever known you as Jane and she is who I love. I am happy with whatever you decide, but your compromise of implants seems a good idea, let’s go with that.”

I called round to see Amanda and have a chat with Michael for a recommendation for a surgeon to do the implants. Because he knew me so well personally he arranged for his partner Carol to talk through the choices with me, she explained the various options of filler material, shape, and size, and recommended a private cosmetic surgery in Newcastle that would be prepared to carry out the procedure on me, as some would only deal with augmentation for females.

After a specialist consultation as to which would be best for me, particularly as I had no natural breast tissue, a week later I had a general anaesthetic and went under the knife. I woke a few hours later to find Grace by my bedside holding my hand.

“ Welcome back to the world pet, we seem to be spending a lot of time in hospitals lately. Because of the amount of work they had to do to you, they will be keeping you in overnight for observation. I will be back tomorrow to collect you, they recommend that you do not drive for a while after any surgery but particularly after breast augmentation.” She stayed for a few hours generally chatting before leaving for the night.

The next morning, with my chest still heavily bandaged and dosed up with painkillers, Grace took me back to her home, where she could keep an eye on me. For the next week I took things very easy, I opened the studio for sales, but did not do any pottery work as heavy lifting and stretching was banned. I gradually reduced the painkillers and was soon suffering just mild aches. Although the bandages were now off, I was forced to wear a tight restricting sports bra, so as to have no stress on the healing tissue. Although I had been using breast forms for many months now, the feel and movement of MY breasts was totally different and took some getting used to.

Grace had now fully recovered from her accident and was back working normally, and Chloe had no lasting ill-effects from the assault by Robert, so I was the medical centre of attention and well looked after for a week or so, before life returned to normal.

The police had completed their reports and the trial of Robert and Josie soon came to court, and Grace, Chloe and i attended throughout the proceedings .

Robert’s trial was fairly straightforward. Although he tried to muddy the waters and justify his actions by his wife leaving him and taking a lot of his money and respect away from him, he was quickly found guilty of attempted murder and sentenced to several years in prison. Because he was ranting and raving at the judge, calling me all sorts of names, the judge also put a restraint order on him, forbidding him from ever coming in to the county of Northumberland or contacting Chloe or I in person, by phone, or social media and email, or for arranging for others to make contact on his behalf, and also ruled that he be subject to a psychiatric assessment before release.

Josie’s case was harder, it was difficult to prove that she knew Robert intended to murder Chloe, although she did admit to knowing that he threatened violence towards her, and to me as well. However her father, who before my dismissal had always been fair to me, admitted to the court that he had heard her talking to Robert about finding me and making us regret what we had done and that we wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy the money we had taken from them. That was the damning evidence that swung the case.

Even more so than Robert, all through the case she kept shouting and screaming that I was a pervert and people like me had no right to exist, and that I had robbed her of her home and dignity. The jury had little sympathy for her, she came across as irrational and bitter and mentally unstable, and was sentenced to confinement in a secure mental hospital until such time as she was deemed stable enough to serve her sentence in prison. The judge made a point of telling her that transgenderism was legally acceptable and a factor in modern life, even if a lot of people disagreed, and, as for Robert, he made a restraining order against any contact with us.

Because of the court case the whole village now knew all about me and my past. Most people did not care and treated me no differently to before, i was just Jane, the village potter. Some. particularly the crew down at the station, made joking references about me, but it was all just friendly banter, no worse than the comments they all made about each other. Others tended to shun me or ignore me, but there was nothing nasty. The local world just settled into its routine and I was soon just yesterday’s news.

We decided on an Autumn wedding, and although there were only a few family and friends likely to attend we decided to splash out and hold it in Grace’s home village, at the magnificent Bamburgh Castle just up the coast. The registrar agreed to come out from County Hall in Alnwick and our local vicar and friend Jill was delighted to be asked to conduct a church blessing afterwards.

Technically I was probably the groom so I arrived first dressed in a peach layered mid-length silk dress and bolero topped off with a feather fascinator and eagerly awaited the arrival of Grace and her father. She looked beautiful wearing a full length cream evening dress with a tiara and short veil, and I could not believe my luck meeting such a wonderful girl who accepted me for what I was, and with a room full of family(mainly hers) and friends from the village, and the lifeboat crew. After the formalities we left to go into the castle grounds for photos and walked under an arch of raised oars as a guard of honour from the crew, which helped to make the day special. The backdrop of the castle, and the views out to sea over to Holy Island made for some beautiful photos that we will treasure for ever.

Hopefully all the traumas and difficulties of the last couple of years were now behind us and we could settle into a contented normal life with our life-time soul-mates.