This year has seen major changes in my life that I had never in my wildest dreams thought would happen. This Christmas has definitely been different for me, being one of the girls, helping in the kitchen, getting perfume and makeup as presents, and generally feeling happy to be accepted as I am. I am definitely getting used to living like this, and enjoying it.”

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The next week running up to New Year was a fairly casual affair, I opened the pottery studio in the afternoons to cater for the few tourists who were having a holiday break and to get on with producing more stock, when the season really started at Easter I needed to have lots of items ready for sale.

Two of us getting ready for the big night out was a bit more hectic, getting in each others way, showering, doing our hair, getting party makeup applied and getting dressed. Feeling quite glamorous and ready to have a good night out, the pair of us walked arm-in-arm down to “The Bamburgh Castle’ at the harbour. It was an informal affair, unlike the Christmas party there, just socialising drinking and having a good time. To the strains of ‘Auld Lang Syne’ and the chimes of ‘Big Ben’ the celebrations really started , it was a round robin of all our friends and colleagues with hugs and kisses and ‘Happy New Year’ wishes. Whilst most of it all was just friends being friendly my hug and kiss with Grace was different, I felt a sense of real excitement and a nervous tingling that I hadn’t felt for months. I looked into her eyes and was sure that I saw something similar with her.

When things settled down again, Chloe was deep in conversation with Andy, arms around each other and eyes locked, and Grace and I found a quiet(ish) corner and talked about what had just happened.

“ Grace, you know all about me and who I am, but that hug with you reawakened a lot of feelings in me. I am sure that it is not just the drink talking but I would like to get to know you a lot better, whether it is as a man and woman, or as two women, or something in-between is something that we need to sort out. Do you think the same?”

“This is not the time and place for this discussion, but yes, we do need to sort things out. What a right pair we are, the natives are quite tolerant of me as a transexual, but what they would make of me in a lesbian relationship is anyone’s guess, and a lesbian with a cross-dresser will probably blow their minds. Let’s just enjoy the party tonight and leave the serious stuff for another time.”

The party went on through the night, visiting peoples houses in turn with the traditional gifts of cake drink and a piece of coal as ‘first foot’ wishes of prosperity for the coming year, finishing up at Grace’s. When everyone else had left Grace and I had a quite passionate goodbye hug and kiss before Andy escorted Chloe and I back home. I went straight to bed to dream of what might or might not happen with Grace and I, leaving Chloe and Andy to each other’s company.

I woke the following morning with an enormous hangover, making a New Years Resolution never to drink like that again, and wandered into the kitchen in just my nightie to put some coffee on. The smell of the coffee brought Chloe out of her room, wearing a smug self-satisfied smile, quickly followed by Andy with a spring in his step, Chloe and I would have a lot to talk about later.

Chloe going out with Andy looked like it was going to become a regular thing, and although I was happy for her that she was moving on with her life, it raised the point that both her and I had previous lives that needed to be sorted out, and later, on our own, I brought up the subject.

“ Chloe, you and I both need to sort things out with Josie and Robert. Whether or not your fling with Andy becomes serious you need to decide if you are staying here or going back to Robert, or at least going back to your job in Stoke. You need to let your boss know when, if ever, you are returning to work. I need to formalise my break with Josie, I am definitely not going back to my old life.”

“Being with Andy has reminded me of how controlling and possessive Robert is and there is no way I am going back to that, but I at least owe him that discussion. Do you fancy coming down to Stoke with me, I can talk with him, and then go into the office to let George, the practice senior partner know what I am doing. I think that I need a bit of moral support and it would be great if you could be with me.

The following day, having called ahead to make arrangements, we took turns driving the 250 miles down to Stoke. Chloe went into the house to talk with Robert, and I waited outside in the car. After half-an-hour she rushed out of the door, breaking free of his grip on her arm, jumped into the car, crying, and told me to drive away quickly. We found a pub, not far away, and went inside for her to tell me what happened.

“He was horrible, he does not accept that he has done anything wrong, he again accused me of turning you gay, and called you and me lots of names. He was not going to let me leave, he told me that my place was as a wife to him and that I should forget all the nonsense of starting a new life. He grabbed me violently and slapped me a few times and tried to close the door and lock me in the kitchen but I managed to break free and get out. There is no way I am going back to him after that. Let me get myself cleaned up and redo my makeup and we’ll go and see George next, now I do not want to talk just about my job, but I want to start divorce proceedings.

“Hi George, this is my sister Jane, if you don’t mind I would like her to be in on this discussion. Firstly I apologise for leaving you in the lurch by just taking off like that, but when I explain things in a minute, I’m sure you will understand. I have split with my husband and to get away from him I have left the area and so have to give you my notice. If you can manage to get someone else I will not be returning to the office, I’m sorry if this in inconvenient for you.”

“ We’ll deal with that in a minute, just tell me what this is all about first.”

“Robert and I have not been getting on too well recently and before Christmas we had a major row and I had to get away from him. I’ve just been to see him to see if we could resolve matters, but he got quite violent with me, physically and emotionally, and there is now no way that I can go back to him. I want to start divorce proceedings and get it over and done with as soon as possible, can you or the practice handle that for me?”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I never particularly got on with him, but nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. Of course we can deal with it, but you need to tell me what caused the problems and give me ammunition to use against him, the more unreasonable we can show him to be the easier it will be to get a fair divorce settlement.”

Chloe gave me a questioning look which I understood to ask whether to tell George about me, and I smiled and nodded back to her in agreement.

She then took him through the whole story of me being discovered and being thrown out of my house and job, how I had fled up to Northumberland and started a new life, how this led to the row between Chloe and Robert highlighting how controlling and possessive he had been, how she had joined me in Seahouses, and the details of what had just happened between her and Robert.”

“I don’t blame you Chloe, I’m surprised you lasted so long, you always seemed a strong personality in the office, not the type to let somebody treat you like that. I don’t think we will have any problems getting a divorce granted and we should be able to get you a reasonable settlement too. Although you have cleared your own bank accounts, you are entitled to your share of any joint properties, including the house. I’ll get started on that later today, if you are sure. On any documents I will use this office as your official address, there is no way I will give any indication of where you are living, and will forward everything on to you. You also have a right go back to the house to get whatever of your personal possessions are still there. It’s a bit late to be travelling all the way back tonight, if you want to stay somewhere overnight I have spare rooms at home and you can go back tomorrow to get your stuff. I’ll arrange that you are accompanied by someone to protect you while you are doing it, in case he is still in the house. if you don’t mind i would like to take a few photos of your bruises and welts where he hit you and restrained you today, it will be useful for the records”

“As for you Jane, do you wish me to act on your behalf too. Obviously given your personal situation there is no way you are going back to your former life and the sooner you make a clean break the better. All the things I said to Chloe about a fair settlement and retrieving any personal possessions apply to you too. The fact that the house was bought by Josie’s father for her is irrelevant, it was your family home and you are entitled to a fair share to cover what you had put into to the family finances. The other thing to get to grips with is your summarily dismissal from your job, without due reasons, that will be counted as unfair dismissal and there is a good case for significant compensation. Your personal home life and how you choose to live is irrelevant to your employment rights, unless it impacted on your work. I take it that there were never any formal, or even informal, complaints about how well you did your job?”

“Yes I would like you to represent me too. There were never any complaints against me, it was solely because of my problem with Josie, but I have no evidence of why I was dismissed, no letter sacking me or anything like that, the only thing I have is the P45 Leaving Employment tax form that the firm sent me the day after Josie threw me out. I had to get a copy from the Department of Social Security when I registered my new details with them. I went through all the details of my life with Josie and how she had treated me with disdain, and how nasty she was when she threw me out, and gave him all the necessary names, addresses and contact details”

“That will do for a start, please send me a copy of the P45. Unless there is anything else let’s call it a day here. Despite your circumstances and the reason that you are here, it has been a pleasure meeting you both, I wish all my clients were as clear and concise in telling me their problems as you two have been. If I am allowed to say so Jane, I believe you have made the right lifestyle decision, you seem so comfortable and natural as woman. I can assure you that your choice will in no way affect any of the legal arguments for the divorce and settlement.”

We stayed overnight with George and the next morning we went round to our former homes to take whatever belonged to us. Luckily both Josie and Robert were out at work and the protection he had arranged for us was not necessary. I took very little, I had no need for any of James’ clothes, it was mainly just family items and gifts and things of sentimental value. With Chloe it was a different matter, we loaded several cases of clothes and bags of shoes into the car along with many items which were personal or which she considered a fair division of joint possessions.
At both houses, we left a note that George had drafted saying what we had done so there would be no chance of accusations of theft.

“That’s all over now Chloe, no going back, any regrets?” We were talking in the car on the journey back to Seahouses.

“ Lots of regrets about various things that happened and that I hadn’t dealt with and left sooner, but none at all about making the break from Robert. We’ll see how things go with Andy, but he is not the reason for my decision to break up, after what Robert said and did yesterday any lingering affection for him has now gone.”

“It’s different with Josie and me, I didn’t have any real choice, but I am more happy and content now than I have been for ages. We’ve got the opportunity to start completely new lives, particularly me, let’s hope we don’t make as much a mess of them as our previous ones.”

Life settled into a routine when we got home, I kept working away at the pottery and porcelain, Chloe started working as PA to Grace leaving me to run the studio on my own, Chloe started seeing Andy regularly and I was beginning to feel the need for more company.

Other than casual meetings in town or at the lifeboat station, Grace and I had not followed up on what had happened at New Year, and it was time that we got something sorted out, one way or the other. I called her and asked whether she fancied going out for lunch and we drove a little way down the coast to Dunstanburgh for a bit of privacy and found a quiet corner in a comfortable country hotel with a view over to the medieval castle ruins.

“Grace, I’ve been thinking about what we said at New Year, and I’d like to see a lot more of you. I don’t know how you feel, you may want a real man, after all you have been through you probably want to just get on with your life and live a full life like any other woman, not get into a relationship with someone like me who doesn’t know what they want to be.”

“To be honest with you I have had several relationships with men over in Cumbria before I came back home, but since then nothing. Obviously I enjoyed the physical side of the relationships but I never had any big emotional attachment or felt that I wanted to settle down with any of them. Those kisses with you at New Year were the first time that I have felt close to anyone. Before we go any further I would really like to know who you truly are. Have you given any thought to how far you want to go? Are you happy as you are just wearing the clothes or do you want to go all the way like I have.”

“I will give you the same answer that I gave Michael, I don’t really know, which probably means that I am not committed enough to transition, but I definitely intend to live and work as Jane, I am much more at ease with myself than I recently was as James. When we kissed I had a definite tingling in my loins, so I think that whatever I look like, I still am attracted to women rather than men.”

“Thanks for being honest, it is probably the answer I was looking for. I like the idea of a female friend with added benefits so we could have the emotional and practical comfort of each other, but the physical comforts are always available too. I’m game to give it a go if you are, but let’s tread slowly and carefully, it’s a bit of an unusual path we are going down and we need to take our friends along with us gently rather than slapping them in the face with an instant getting together. Come here and give me a big hug !”

Among our close friends, Amanda and Michael, Chloe and Andy, and the guys at the station, our getting closer came as no major surprise or shock and was half-expected. We kept our own homes and had our own lives but spent a lot of time together at each other’s places. How obvious our relationship was to others in the town was anybody’s guess, but nobody made any comments to us and we never felt that we were the subject of gossip, nobody turning their backs to us or stopping mid-conversation when we entered a shop or anything like that.

Over the next few weeks, George prepared the divorce petitions and settlement agreements for both Chloe and me, with a lot of back-and-forth correspondence and emails. We heard that there had been several angry scenes in his office with both Josie and Robert demanding to know where we were, complaining about us taking our possessions without telling them beforehand, and arguing about the settlement claims. George ended up taking out restraining orders against them preventing them or their families approaching his office or home and insisting that the only contact was to be via their solicitors.

However nowadays divorce is a fairly routine process, and the legalities were soon all cleared. In Chloe’s case she claimed unreasonable behaviour for Robert’s controlling attitudes and for the physical abuse she had received when she went back to get her possessions. Robert was glad in the end to be rid of her, although he wasn’t happy with having to pay out half of the value of the house and contents. Chloe now had enough to set her up in her own flat, walking distance from my studio so that we still had each other’s regular company.

My case was a bit more difficult, I claimed unreasonable behaviour from Josie in throwing me out and getting me sacked from my job , she counter-claimed that my cross-dressing was unacceptable and unreasonable, but whichever was the major factor it was obvious to the court that the marriage had broken down, and both of us wanted a clean break and a new start, and the divorce was granted. The settlement was a bit more difficult, Josie and her father claimed that the house was her personal property and not jointly owned by us as husband and wife, but the court disagreed, and I received a substantial settlement. My dismissal from work went to an industrial tribunal, which, after checking my employment records which listed my dismissal as for “unreasonable behaviour” with no previous warnings, awarded me compensation for loss of earnings and damages for “hurt and suffering” as well as a substantial fine to the firm for breaches of employment law. Josie and her father were livid, they threatened to find me and expose me as a pervert, bur George had managed to cover our tracks completely, and other than in his confidential files, there was no record of where we were living or my new identity

Life was good, my past was all sorted out and behind me, I was in a relationship with a wonderful person, and settled in my new life with what promised to be a successful little business, what could go wrong?

To be continued