I woke refreshed after a good nights sleep, got myself dressed and presentable, and went down to find Amanda in the kitchen.

‘Grab a coffee, “ she said rather sharply, “you and I need to have a serious talk, we don’t think you have been totally honest with us, is Jane really your proper name?”

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“What Michael modestly didn’t tell you last night, is that he is a doctor, a GP with his practice up the road in Seahouses. Before he went into general practice he worked in orthopaedics for 3 years and feels that he knows quite a bit about skeletal forms and the differences between male and female body structures. After you went off to bed, he told me that he was certain that you are, or were, a man, he said your bone structure and posture was all wrong. After he said that to me, I thought about your voice and the way you talked and gestured, and have convinced myself that he is probably right. i’m sorry if I have offended or embarrassed you, but what have you got to say to that, and please be honest with me? hope that my directness in bringing this up has not upset you, but as a guest in our house, we think it is only fair that we know who you are.”

I couldn’t speak for a minute or two, I was in shock.

He is right, I am a man, a cross-dresser, but I want to make a new life for myself as a woman, as Jane. I’ve only been presenting myself as female in public for a day really, before that it was just the occasional dressing-up in private. I’m sorry if I have shocked you, particularly after you have been so kind and welcoming. I’ll book into a hotel in the village until my car is fixed, pack my things and leave, thank you so much for what you have done.” I replied, getting up to leave.

“You’ll do no such thing, I didn’t ask you to leave, I just asked you to tell me the truth. sit down we’ll have breakfast and you can tell me the full story this time. Incidentally, you had me fooled, if Michael had not said anything, I would probably not have guessed. Many women are ungainly or have slightly harsh features, it’s only in the glossy magazines that the women are 100% unmistakably feminine, and even then a lot of it is down to cosmetic surgery, talented make-up artists and a bit of photoshop touching up of the images. You are lucky in that you are the size and build that you are, you will not stand out as being bigger or stockier than other women ”

Amanda sat quietly and just let me talk for almost an hour, whilst I told her my story, from the dress-up games and teenage sessions with Chloe, my drift into marriage with what turned out to be a domineering partner, nagging me into working in a boring job with her father, my secret cross-dressing, how she had found out, and how she angrily threw me out of our home, leaving me with only my women’s clothes.

“Josie seems to be a particularly nasty piece of work, it sounds like you are better off without her. This has all been very traumatic for you and you need to stay calm and not do anything rash for a few days until you have got things clear in your mind. Michael and I have no problems with who you are, you have no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed, and you are welcome to stay for a while. It may be best for you to be here anyway, I can shield you from prying eyes and help iron out some of the wrinkles in your behaviour. For only being a woman for one day, you come across very well, you are almost a natural in the way you act, but you definitely need to polish up the rough edges, particularly your voice. There is probably only a limited amount you can do with the pitch, but the inflection and tone can be changed by using a softer way of speaking”

“Why are you being so kind and understanding, I thought that you would be livid, having found me out to be a fraud?”

“Let’s not go into that at the moment, let’s just say that you are not the first person we have met with your problems, and if you felt rejected and at a total loss, who knows where it could lead.”

“Now we know where we are with all that let’s get back to normality and see if we can get your car sorted out”

“ Morning, Jack. did Liz give you the message about the car that needs sorting….very good…If you call round Jane will show you where her car is and you can see what you can do,… see you in a few minutes then.”

“ Go get yourself ready, Jack will be here soon. He sounds a bit slow and simple but he is anything but, he is an absolute wizard with anything mechanical.”

We were soon out at my car, and other than having wheels down in a ditch, it didn’t look damaged. He soon had the car pulled back onto the road and had a close look.

“It’s a bit lopsided, it looks like the suspension struts have got damaged with the impact when it went into the ditch. The bodywork looks ok, just a few minor scratches but they can be polished out, it’s a miracle that there wasn’t more damage. We’ll get it back to the garage and up onto the ramps and have a proper inspection. If it’s as bad as it it looks it will not be a cheap job, you might want to get someone else to give you a price.”

“No let’s just get it sorted, Amanda only had good things to say about you, I’m sure you will be fair with the charges.”

“I’ll probably need to order new parts so it should be a couple of days at least, you better make arrangements to stay with Amanda and Michael for a while.

We got my car back to Jack’s workshop and I left him to it, and walked back through the village to Amanda’s.

“Are you sure it’s ok to stay here for a few days, I can always book in somewhere”

“ Stop asking, I’ve told you it is not a problem. I’ll put the percolator on and we’ll sit down with a coffee and sort out what we are going to do with you. Can we assume that Jane is here to stay, at least for a while? Are you ok for money and can you access your accounts without any problem? Are you looking for work?”

“Unless something drastic happens, Jane is here to stay, it’s something that’s been at the back of my mind for a long time, it is not just a reaction to the situation I find myself in. I’m ok for money, I’ve built up a healthy bank account and a few investments, which are all in my name only and Josie does not have access to them or know my online banking details. My cards are ok for the moment but I will have to inform the bank of my change of name. That is another problem, I will soon have to sort out a deed poll name change so that my driving licence and another official documents can be updated.”

“What was the last one, oh yes, am I looking for work?, I don’t know what I intend to do long term, I don’t want a routine office job like I did for Josie’s father. I have always had a bit of an artistic streak, and enjoyed watching the potters and sculptors at the factory and they taught me some of the basic techniques, and I often thought about setting myself up as a cottage-industry potter producing artisan ware. If i can find somewhere I think I would like to give that a go. I am ok financially for a reasonably long time and setting up costs would not be a problem if I could find the right place.”

“Somewhere to set up is easy, it’s coming to the end of the main tourist season and many of the tourist shops are on seasonal leases and there must be some available. If you are going to sell direct to the public and be open as a craft workshop, there must be some suitable places either here in Beadnell or up at Seahouses. Seahouses will probably be better, the tourist boats go out from there on trips to the Farne Islands for seal and bird watching, and it’s virtually an all year round operation, so there are always visitors about. I can’t remember any pottery workshops anywhere so there should not be any competition for trade, we will just have to find you the equipment and bits and pieces you need.”

“Sounds like you know what’s what around here, do you fancy a trip up to Seahouses and we’ll have a look around the harbour area for me to get a feel for it again, it’s a long time since my last visit. We can make a day of it and get lunch out if you like, my treat, it’s a pleasant day and it should be nice up there.”

I put on my coat which didn’t appear to have suffered from the soaking it had had, and some flat walking shoes and Amanda drove us the couple of miles up to Seahouses and we had an enjoyable afternoon walking around town. We found a couple of available small industrial units off Main Street just up from the harbour, that appeared to be near the main route into town for the tourists and boat trippers, and took down the agent’s details which would let me get an idea of the likely cost of a lease. Business done for the day we went in to one of the many fish restaurants and enjoyed a really tasty fresh crab salad with a thick wedge of home-made bread. It was delicious, we were told that the crab was fresh in that morning and had been crawling around in the sea only a few hours ago.

While we were in town, I went to get temporary pay-as-you-go Sim card for my phone, which would tide me over until I could get a new contract account set up. I didn’t want to get any aggressive phone calls from Josie or give her a chance to use a tracker app to find my location, and other than for business I got very few calls that I couldn’t live without for a while.

We walked for a short way up the beach towards Bamburgh, about two miles away, with the glorious views out to sea to the Farnes, and up the coast to the majestic Bamburgh Castle perched high on its rocky outcrop, before returning to town for a quick coffee and a ‘singing hinny’, a local speciality fruit griddle cake, before heading back to Beadnell.

Are you handy in the kitchen Jane?”

I’m not a bad cook and baker, more enthusiastic and homely rather than cordon bleu, and have often made the meals at home.’

“Come on then you can give me a hand to get the dinner ready, if you like.”

“What sort of things do you cook Jane?”

“All sorts of stuff, from the traditional Sunday roast, Bolognese with spaghetti or in a Lasagne with homemade focaccia bread, curries, mixed grills, I do a mean fish & chips if you have a fat fryer, a very healthy tossed salad with home-made dressing and oven-baked salmon fillet, scones, a delicious banana cake and all sorts of pies and tarts. I told you that when we were growing up my parents were often out leaving Chloe and me to fend for ourselves, and there is no better incentive to learn to cook than being hungry, between us we soon became quite good at it.”

“ Sounds really good, I’ll let you loose in the kitchen tomorrow and I’ll have a night off, it’s a long time since I have had someone make a proper home-cooked meal for me, is that alright?”

“It will be my pleasure, i owe you anyway.”

When Michael came home, I discreetly went up to my room ‘to freshen up’ to give Amanda a chance to tell him about our discussion this morning and for them to agree what was to be done with me.

After dinner the three of us sat down to give Michael a chance to add his comments to those I had received from Amanda earlier.”

“Don’t worry too much about me ‘reading’ you. Because of my training and experience I have a bit of a keen eye for these things, most people would not pick up on some of the things I noticed. With a little bit of constructive criticism from Amanda and a bit longer period of familiarisation, I’m sure that most of the questionable characteristics can be overcome. Amanda has enjoyed your company today, she says that it is good to have another woman about the house to chat with, and if she can accept you as a woman, who am I to disagree? When I felt this morning that you were keeping secrets from us I was ready to ask you to leave, but as she has told you, you are now welcome to stay until you can get yourself sorted out and organised. I’ll leave you two to tidy up and sort things out I’ll go into the study to do a bit of work, and I’ll see you for a nightcap later.”

“ Michael appears fine with me, I don’t know how much you told him but whatever it was he seems to accept me for what I am. Thank you Amanda.”

“I just told him everything you told me, and how natural you appeared and acted as we walked around today. Nobody picked you out or gave you funny looks, I am sure that you will be accepted as just another face in the crowd. Unless you have a need to talk about your gender problems or need medical advice from Michael, let’s not bring the subject up again, you are just Jane my friend, staying with us. Have you decided what you are going to do about your pottery workshop?”

“When I was upstairs earlier I looked at the agents’ websites, and the lease costs seem reasonable. Even if it is not a roaring success as a commercial business, I could treat it all as an expensive hobby which will give me a new professional direction, I have been wanting to do something different for a long time now, I’ve had enough of company politics and fancy the ,freedom of working for myself. I know that operating a small business has it’s own problems, but I think I would like to face the challenges. I will get in touch with the agents and go and have a good look at both the properties, you can come with me if you like.”

“Do you know what you need, and where to get supplies from, think it all through before you jump in with both feet. Before you make any commitments you need the advice of a decent accountant, to make sure your company is set up properly.”

“ I used to handle the company accounts at the factory, but that was mainly book-keeping rather than tax accountancy, so if I go ahead I will need somebody, can you recommend anyone locally?”

“I think so, I’ll speak to her to see if it is something she can take on, meanwhile arrange a visit with the agents and we will go up to inspect the properties.”

We were up early the next morning to go to visit the properties we had seen. One of them was not really suitable, even though it was not very big it was partitioned off into several little areas and had no natural light other than the main openable doors. The other was ideal, it was an open area with lots of light from skylights. It had previously been used as a craft workshop making and selling ‘ganzies’, a local patterned wooly fisherman’s jumper, so the decor was reasonable and it was nearer to the Main Street and potential customers. It also had the benefit of a small flat above the shop. which would get me out of Amanda’s hair and give me a bit of independence. Subject to the legal and financial necessities, I agreed to take it on a 12 month lease. This would give me a chance to work through the slack winter period and build up stock and then see how sales went when the main tourist season started up again.

“Come on now, I’ve arranged to meet your new accountant. We’ve known Grace for years, she is local, from Bamburgh, and she has recently come back to the area from Cumbria where she has been living for a few years.”

We were met by an attractive young woman about the same age as me, dressed in a smart business skirt suit and formal blouse, with shoulder-length hair held back by side combs over her ears, and light minimal makeup, a very professional appearance.

“Hello Grace, it’s good to see you again and looking so well, let me introduce you both. This is a friend of mine, Jane Gibson, who is thinking of starting a small craft workshop in town, and this is Grace Armstrong, who will be happy to deal with any financial or even business legal advice you may need. I’ll sit quietly in the corner now and let you two get down to business”

After the normal pleasantries and getting to know each other we started to discuss my possible business, and I outlines my plans for a pottery and ceramics workshop.

“Jane, what you have to get clear in your own mind is whether you are going to treat this as a serious business, or whether you are playing at this as an indulgent hobby passing time with something you enjoy. If it is to be an an indulgent hobby, I advise you to give up now, I’ve seen too many people lose lots of money, thinking that because they are interested in a particular specialist craft that other people will be prepared to part with their hard-earned money to buy souvenir items that are impulse buys and not really needed. However, if you are serious about this as a business I like the idea of a pottery workshop, particularly if it is tailored to this locality, souvenirs of the Farnes or Bamburgh Castle or Grace Darling or the harbour and fishing history. If you have the talent to produce something quite different, and if you are prepared to work hard for little return in the early days, I think you could make a success of this.”

“I take your point Grace, I am serious about this, it’s all part of a big change in my life and a lot of hard work, but doing something I enjoy is exactly what I need. I know it will be difficult getting started and it will be a few months before I can even think about breaking even on costs, but I can set aside a tight budget that will not cause me a problem, and hopefully we can get into the main tourist season to start reaping the rewards.”

“ You seem to have a good general and realistic approach. Look into the cost of getting the equipment and supplies you need before you sign any leases then come back and see me again. It’s been really nice to meet you Jane, thanks for coming in and I hope to see you soon.”

“Thanks for that introduction Amanda, I quite liked Grace, she seemed to know what she was talking about and was very pleasant and easy going as well.” I said as we arrived back home. ”I’m sure that I will be using her as my accountant.”

“The other thing I would recommend is that before you sign any lease or other legal documents that you officially get your name changed. A full deed poll application takes a few days but once that goes through you can easily change your driving licence, insurance, banking, even your passport and other documents like that. It’s good that you are going ahead with this, it will keep you busy and give you something to concentrate on. Talking of keeping busy didn’t you promise to make the dinner tonight?”

“You go and sit down and relax with a glass of wine, or a cup of tea if you prefer. If you don’t mind me poking around in your cupboards you can leave me to it.”

Just over an hour-and-a-half later, I had prepared a traditional lasagne all made from fresh ingredients and and left it ready to put in the oven later, baked a block of focaccia infused and topped with chopped rosemary leaves, and a Tuscan apple tart for dessert, and dug out a bottle of rich Barolo wine to go with the lasagne. Some of the focaccia was toasted as bruschetta, topped with cream cheese, diced tomatoes and olives as a starter.

Michael and Amanda really enjoyed the meal, particularly Amanda, who said that meals always taste better when someone else cooks them and appreciated the effort I had made.

I got two messages the next morning, one from Jack to say my car was ready if I wanted to pick it up, the other from Grace saying that she knew someone with some pottery equipment that they wanted to get rid of if I was interested.

“Good morning Grace, thanks for the message, depending on what it is I am very interested in seeing the pottery stuff, can you give me the contact details and I’ll go and have a look.”

“ I can do better than that, I am going over to see a client, Julie Marshall who has a painting studio and art shop about 10 miles away. She had thought about widening her range into pottery and figurines, but has decided against it, Find your way up to my office and you can come with me.”

The equipment was almost all new, although the electric kiln was second-hand, but in good condition. I agreed a price, and arranged to pick it all up the next week when I would have the keys to my studio and have my car again.

On the way back to Seahouses, Grace stopped off at a country pub as she said she wanted to have a talk with me, we we got our drinks and she found a quiet corner where we would not be overheard.

“Amanda asked me to have a talk with you. She has told me about your situation, but don’t be embarrassed, because I’ve been in the same position as you, but have now been a full woman for some years, and I can give you a lot of advice and support if you want it.

To be continued.

# For full details of Grace’s background please read “Grace” on my story list.