It had been an eventful year, some very low times, some low times, some high times ,I was now considering what would be the highlight of the year.
Childhood
My name is Jamie Lee Simpson. I was raised in the small rural village of Bramholme in the Pennine Hills to the west of the cities of Leeds and Bradford, a happy childhood with my Mam and Dad, and my older sisters Penny and Mandy. Calling Bramholme a village makes it sound a lot grander than it is, it’s a hamlet of about 50 houses, no shop, no church, no school, it is effectively a dormitory hamlet for retirees and professional commuters to the cities.
At the time our family were the only one in Bramholme with young children, so Penny, Mandy and I grew up together, played together, learned together and generally enjoyed each other’s company when we were younger. As we got older Penny first, soon followed by Mandy, came to the realisation that we were not just children, but that they were girls and I was a boy. They only wanted to play girls’ games, play with dolls, have tea parties, play hopscotch and skipping and I had little choice but to join in with them. Everything was fine for a while but one day they decided that their games were for girls and as a boy I could not join in, I would have to make my own amusement. I became bored trying to find things to do by myself, my only boy friends were lads I knew at school, but they lived in other outlying villages and I pestered my sisters to let me play with them like we had done when we were younger.
“If you want to play girls’ games with us, you need to be a girl, you’ll have to wear dresses and skirts like we do, and your hair is long enough to tie in bunches.” Penny smugly said to me one day. “We have lots of clothes that are now too small for us but they will fit you nicely.”
“But boys don’t wear dresses and skirts, they’re just for girls.” I quickly replied.
“Well if you want to play with us, you’ll have to wear them too.”
“But what will Mam and Dad say when they see me, boys are boys and girls are girls, and I don’t think that it would be right.”
“No more buts, it’s up to you, if you want to play with us in our rooms you will wear a skirt, but only in our rooms , Mam and Dad do not need to know.”
So I became a part-time girl, playing their games, reading their books and comics, chatting like them, actually enjoying my time as their sister until one fateful day when Mam discovered what I had been doing and how the girls were treating me. Dad was livid when he was told, gave me a long lecture on the roles of boys and men, and warned the girls that if they made me do it again they would be in big trouble.
Luckily another family had moved into the village with a couple of boys my age and we soon formed our own little gang, playing football, climbing trees, swimming in the local stream ponds and I threw myself into the more masculine activities, leaving Penny and Mandy to their more girly pursuits. Soon my times in a skirt were locked away in the back of my memory.
Reawakening
In my final year university I lived in a house-share with Jack, Sue and Carol. Jack was a typical rugby forward, usually down at the the rugby club training or out drinking with the boys, so just like with my sisters, I found myself usually in female company hanging out with Sue and Carol. One evening down at the pub Sue mentioned that she and Carol, along with a few of their friends were going to take part in the ’Race for Life’, and invited me to join in with them.
“You must have a go with us Jamie, the 'Race for life’ is really just a fun run, which you should be more than capable of, you are almost over that bad ankle sprain you have had. The race is in aid of charity, for Marie Curie Cancer Research, it started as a means to raise funds for Breast Cancer research and only women were allowed, but now spreads it about to most cancer types. There are five of us doing it as a group, if you join in it will be a nice round six, making three pairs of running partners. You don’t have to worry about speed, the rest of the group are just casual fitness joggers and there is no time limit for completing the course.”
“Ok Sue, I’ll do it, but it’s this weekend, I won’t really have a chance to get much sponsorship, but I’ll see what I can do.”
“Don’t bother with getting any running gear, you just need some suitable shoes or trainers, as we are running as a group we have all agreed a common theme.
Saturday morning I went from my room for breakfast and had a good giggle when I saw Sue and Carol already in their running outfits.
“You must be joking, you don’t expect me to run dressed like that do you?”
“Of course, you are part of our group, we will all be dressed the same it should be fun, and a lot of other people will be wearing something similar. Your outfit is on the table next door just go in and get changed before the others get here”
Realising that she had me wrapped around her fingers and that I didn’t have much choice other than to drop out, I decided to go along with her outfit and went next door to get stripped off and changed.
I was soon dressed in tight black calf-length leggings, a bright pink hip-length tee-shirt with a pink frilly ballet skirt around my waist, and pink fluffy bunny ears. Feeling a proper idiot I went back out to see the girls.
“Are you sure this is all right, I don’t look too stupid do I ?”
“You look fine, you will blend in with the rest of us girls no bother at all, you are quite slim for a man, not much bigger than us anyway, and you still have nice smooth skin, not a lot of hair on your face. Now that I have seen you dressed can I be very pushy and make a couple of extra changes? You know that our group’s fund-raising is primarily in support of breast cancer research because my mother had it and needed mastectomies but unfortunately she still passed away not long after. Can I talk you into wearing a bra and some of the breast forms she was given, so that you get into the spirit of things with us.”
“I’m going to look ridiculous, what if some of my friends or work colleagues see me.”
“I keep telling you not to worry, if you let me use a bit of eye makeup and lippy, and brush out your hair, which is quite long anyway, you will just look like all the other girls and nobody will recognise you.
By the time the others arrived, I was sporting my own stuck-on breasts, with a little bit of face makeup and with my hair brushed into a bob and when they all came in nobody made any comment about the way I looked.
Hi-everybody,” said Sue,”You’ve all met Jamie before but never seen him quite like this, However for today he is one of the girls.”
I felt like running out of the room and hiding, but one by one they all came over gave me a hug, telling me that they would never have recognised me or read me as a boy, and that I made a cute girl. I wasn’t sure whether to take that as a compliment or not, but decided that it was too late to back out now, and that I would just have to go along with it.
When they had all changed into their running outfits, we made our way down to the starting point where I hoped that we could get lost in the crowd,.
During the run we all kept together, despite my ankle still not being right causing me to run with a bit of a bent leg action, and my breasts bouncing about causing my arm action and posture to be different,. The run with the girls was quite enjoyable chatting away as we were running and encouraging each other when anybody was feeling a bit tired or strained. They were a nice friendly bunch and after a few minutes, I forgot all about how I was dressed and just got on with having a pleasant fun day out with some friends. As it got near the finish we all bunched up and crossed the line together hand in hand in a chain.We were amongst the first to finish and stayed for a while to clap the others home, before setting off back home to get changed.
“Why don’t we stop for a quick drink,” suggested one of the group as we passed a pub, “We’ve all had a bit of fun together this morning, let’s just round off the day.”
In the enthusiasm of the day, I had totally got into the spirit with the girls and just automatically followed them in, without thinking about how I was dressed, and when they ordered wine spritzers I just had the same. I had never had one before and found it quite refreshing, in fact much more so than my normal beer. We chatted away about how we felt the run had gone, how much money we had raised, what a good time we were having and agreed that we would all meet up again later in the week.
When we arrived home, To my embarrassment Jack was watching TV with a can of beer.
“Hi girls, did you all enjoy your run, I saw a news clip of you on tv, you all looked great, particularly you Jamie, I hardly recognised you.”
“Don’t you think it’s weird, me dressed like this?”
“Whatever floats your boat man, it’s no odds to me, to be honest you spend so much time with the girls that I sometimes just see of you as one of them anyway. You actually look quite cute as a girl and you fit in with the others so comfortably, if you want to wear girls’ clothes please yourself.”
That night I had vivid dreams of my times playing with my sisters and how I had enjoyed their company and activities, my memories returning after my day with Sue, Carol and their friends, and pictured myself properly dressed going out socially with the girls.
I had agreed to meet up with the girls again on Wednesday and when I got back from university, Sue and Carol were sitting waiting for me.
“Jamie, we’ve been thinking, you fitted in so well with us and the others on the run, dressed as a girl, why not come out tonight with us as a girl, we have dug out some clothes that will fit you and we’ll do your makeup and hair for you?”
“Wearing the outfit for the charity tun was one thing, but what will Jack think when he sees me dressed up in normal girls’ clothes.”
“As he said, he already thinks of you as one of us girls and didn’t seem to mind. Come on it will be fun.”
After they had worked their magic on my hair and makeup, with the breast forms again fitted, and wearing a peasant top, skirt and heels, I picked up the bag they had given me, put my money keys and phone in amongst the odds and ends that were already there and set off for the pub with them.
“Enjoy yourselves girls.” Jack called out as we left.
After the initial shock from the others at how I was dressed, we settled in and I was treated as just another one of the girls, joining in with their gossip, moaning about their boyfriends and men in general, and talking about their health problems, particularly their period problems, they seemed to forget that I was really a boy.
Somehow I felt comfortable in their company, being treated as another one of the girls’ enjoying the night out with friends. I had always been a bit of a a loner and had no really close male friends, it was a pleasant change for me. I really enjoyed my night out with them all, and promised to get together with them regularly. When we got back to the house, Jack was still down at the rugby club so the three of us sat down for a drink and a chat.
“Jamie, if you are going to go out with us and the other girls, you really need some more clothes, you can’t wear the same outfit every time. Carol and I have been chatting and we can sort out a few more clothes for you if you want, but we will need to get you a few things of your own, shoes, undies, make up, skin care.”
Gradually acting and dressing as a girl became normal for me, the only times I was dressed in boys’ clothes was in classes and exams, even then I was wearing female underclothes, even a tight sports bra to compress the breast forms that I left permanently fitted. I was surprised that Jack accepted that I was becoming more feminine in the way I dressed and behaved, as far as he was concerned, he was house-sharing with three girls.
After a few weeks as I adjusted and became at comfortable with my new lifestyle Carol suggested that there was now no need for me to dress as a boy for college as I was very convincing and natural as a girl. The first time I dressed very casually in jeans and a long baggy jumper and nervously made my way into the lecture hall with Carol, worried that someone would recognise me and let out my secret, but everything went off smoothly. For the rest of my time at university I lived totally as a girl, and was accepted as such by other students in my classes.
Soon final exams were over and it was time for us all to make our separate ways to forge our future careers and lives. With promises to meet up regularly with Sue and Carol for girls’ nights out, we said our goodbyes and I moved back into my parent’s house. Penny and Mandy had already flown the nest and moved elsewhere for their careers, Mam and Dad were spending most of their time in their apartment in Tenerife, so I had the house to myself and had got used to living with the girls and just carried on as what was now normal for me.
Disaster
I set up my own business doing graphic design for flyers, instruction sheets, graphics for manuals, logos, etc for companies in Leeds and Bradford, working from home with most of the time never needing to meet my clients.The house was on the edge of the village and well screened by the bushes and trees in the garden, so I continued living virtually full time as a girl except for when I had meet clients, in skirts makeup and with my hair growing out in quite a feminine style. I was easily able to come and go without being noticed byneighbours who were mostly out at work all day. Sue and Carol had really awakened the girl in me that had initially been implanted by my sisters, and I settled into my new life.
The sheltered existence was rudely interrupted one day just before Christmas by a loud repeated knocking on the door that I couldn’t ignore, or allow time to try to change my appearance.
“Excuse me Miss, but you really need to leave the house immediately.” said a young policeman. “There has been subsidence in the road outside which has fractured a gas main and there is a risk of an explosion, it’s not safe to be here until it is repaired. Please collect whatever you need for a few hours and make your way to the pub, which is acting as an emergency refuge centre.”
I quickly grabbed a coat, my bag, and my laptop with all my contract details on it and nervously made my way through the crowd of people watching the activity by the emergency teams and headed for the pub, which was serving coffee and snacks. Everyone in there apart from a couple of older retired men was female, all the menfolk were away at work. Luckily there was no-one there that I recognised or would remember Jamie as he grew up, or so I thought. I settled in at the last free table, set up my laptop and continued working until I noticed someone approaching me.
“Hi, do you mind if I join you, there are no other spare seats?” asked a pleasant young woman, who I vaguely recognised but couldn’t put a name to. “I’m Julie Carter by the way.”
“That’s fine, I can’t hog the table all to myself, I’ve just finished what I was doing anyway, so will be glad of the company, I’m Jamie Simpson.” I replied without thinking, before realising that I had been at school with her, and travelled on the bus with her every day.
“I used to know a Jamie Simpson, lived in Honeysuckle Cottage with his sisters Penny and Mandy.” which brought a deep blush to my cheeks. Suddenly her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped.”OMG it’s you, isn’t it Jamie, I wouldn’t have recognised you if you hadn’t given me your name. Are you really a woman now?”
“Please keep your voice down Julie, it’s embarrassing enough being here looking like this, without everyone else knowing. Let’s just keep this to ourselves and when we get the all clear we can go back home and I’ll give you the full story. Meantime, I know it will be difficult, but just chat to me as if I am an old school girl friend, tell me about yourself.”
After a few hours we were given the all clear that it was safe to return to our houses, however the site of the problem was immediately in front of my cottage and there was still a flurry of activity from the gas supplier team repairing the pipe. It was obvious that it was going to be some time before the place was back to normal.
“Come on back to my place Jamie. With all that noise, it will not be very peaceful for you to work, besides you promised me a chat to tell me all about what you have been up to, how and why you have changed. We can have a coffee, or a glass of wine if you prefer, and some fresh-baked shortbread and cake.” Julie offered.
“Thank you, that’s so kind of you Julie, as long as you are sure that you are not uncomfortable finding me like this.”
“I’ve been happily chatting to you woman to woman for the past few hours, if I was uncomfortable I would have left you a long time ago.”
I told Julie all about my experiences as a girl, playing with my sisters, the charity run and the following nights out with the girls, and how I was now living as a woman, and she listened engrossed.
“That’s it all really, I am effectively living my life as a woman now, but am keeping myself to myself, you are the only one in the village that knows about me, I don’t mix with the neighbours, and usually drive when I leave the house.”
“You should get out more, you really are quite passable as a woman, and are so easy to talk to, the girls at university have really successfully moulded you. Actually if you don’t mind I could do with a bit of advice from you.”
“What’s the problem, I’ll be glad to help if I can.”
“When I was young I used to dress my brother Larry in my clothes to play games with me, I think most young girls do, but never realised the effect it could have on him. I sometimes worry about him, I don’t think that he has ever had a serious girlfriend and like you he is very at ease in the social company of girls and women, and probably prefers that to being with other men. I think that he may be like you and would prefer to be a woman.”
“Don’t go getting worried just because you have met me. He may just not be ready yet for a relationship. Next time you meet tell him about me and see how reacts. If he is TG it might allow him to open up to you, but whatever happens don’t go accusing him of being TG or gay, let him come out to you if that is what he wants.”
“I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you this afternoon Jamie, please keep in touch and if we swap phone numbers I will let you know how I get on with Larry.”
When I arrived back at the cottage the repairs were complete and the emergency teams gone I was looking forward to settling back home after the stresses of the day. However as I approached the cottage I was shocked to see the decorative Christmas lights ripped down and broken and graffiti sprayed on the windows and doors, ‘Tranny’. ‘Pervert’, ‘Get out, we don’t want your sort here’. I was devastated , rushed inside and just sat and cried. I was worried that whoever had sprayed the graffiti would not stop at that.
I had only known Julie for a few hours, but felt that she was the only one I could turn to to give me a place of safety, I gave her a call and she offered to let me stay with her overnight until I decided what I wanted to do. I quickly packed a case and walked through the village to her house where I was greeted with open arms and a big hug.
“Oh, you poor girl, it’s somebody being totally stupid, why would anybody do something like that, get in quickly before somebody sees you here.You’ll be ok here for tonight, John, my husband. is away on business so we have the house to ourselves. I’ll show you to the guest bedroom, sort yourself out, get changed and then we can have a glass of wine while we try to work out what to do.”
“I am really settled here back in the village, but if I’m going to be met with hostility, I may be better off moving back to the city.”
“That’s ridiculous, you were raised here, you belong here, why let some narrow-minded incomer drive you out. You could leave, but that lets them win, I think that you would be better off facing up to it, admit who you are, and I think that you will be surprised at the reaction you will get.”
“It’s easy for you to say that, it’s not you who will get the abuse.”
“Sleep on it and we’ll see what we can do tomorrow.”
I had a troubled night, but in the morning things changed. When I dressed and went down for breakfast, Julie was not alone., in the kitchen with her were four more women, two our age and two a bit older.
“God morning sleepyhead, I phoned around, the girls and I going to start by cleaning up the graffiti and fixing the other damage, then we are coming down to the police station with you to make a formal complaint. The girls know about your situation and are more than happy to help and be seen to be on your side, you are not alone. Jamie meet Kathy, Sarah, Meg and Becky, Girls meet Jamie and welcome her to the village.”
After breakfast we made our way to Honeysuckle Cottage where I was relieved to see that there had been no further damage. After a few hours working with the girls and getting to know them the place was looking pristine again.
“Right Jamie that’s phase one of your rehabilitation programme, let’s all get cleaned up and then we are all driving over to see the police, phase two.”
“Surprisingly the police sergeant that dealt with us was very sympathetic and assured me that although it would be difficult to find out who had sprayed the abuse, that the investigation would be taken seriously, discriminatory behaviour was high on the list of things they were cracking down on.
“Ok Jamie it’s time for phase three, we are going to the pub for lunch, and if anybody tries to cause trouble they will have to deal with all six of us.”
When we walked in the landlord stared at us as we found a table and I was expecting trouble.
“Right girls, what can I get you, I know most of you already, who’s your friend?”
“It’s ok, Harry meet Jamie, you’ll be seeing her in here with us a lot. Since she moved back to the village, she has been hiding away in her family house, You must have heard what happened at Honeysuckle Cottage last night, please tell anybody that makes any remarks about her that she is here to stay, and if they want to cause trouble, they will have all of us to deal with, and we have already notified the police who will be keeping an eye out for any further abuse.”
“No problem for me girls, she is welcome here anytime.”
Julie insisted that I told the girls how I had become as I now was, and the girls listened enthusiastically asking me questions but in a non-critical manner.
“That is some story Jamie, I have a suggestion for you.” Kathy offered when I had finished. “ We’re all in the WI and it’s our Christmas tea next week, why not come along and meet the other members and tell your story again? The best way to be accepted here is to get more of the women on your side, they will then get their menfolk under control and stop any further nonsense. Treat that as phase four”
“Would that be ok, I don’t want to cause any upset, after all, I’m not truly a woman am I?”
“Don’t worry about that, I am the chair of the group and the others are all on my committee, As for not being a woman, you look like a woman, talk like a woman, socialise like a woman, probably more so than some of our members. Ok, you might have a few differences from us, but 90% of you says woman. If it’s not too personal are you intending to ever become 100%.”
“I haven’t really though that far ahead, I am happy as I am at the moment, but the longer I live like this, the likelier it will become.”
A week later there had been no more graffiti or abuse, so I was quite relaxed when Julie picked me up and drove me to the WI hall. She linked arms with me as we entered to reassure me, and made a point of introducing me to people, some of whom were a bit wary and kept their distance, but nobody was rude or critical, in fact a lot said that they were looking forward to the talk I was going to give, so that they could better understand people in my situation.
After the tea and my talk, Kathy put it to the group that I should be invited to become a member, which I was glad to accept, they all seemed friendly, and if I was going to make a success of becoming a woman, the more I became involved with them the easier it would be for me to adjust.”
“What are you doing for Christmas?”Julie asked me as we left.
“I’ve nothing planned, my parents are in France and my sisters are doing their own things.”
“Come round to ours, there’s only going to be John, me, and my brother Larry, you’ll be more than welcome.”
I arrived mid-morning on Christmas Day, festively dressed in a red skirt and white blouse with red trim, to be greeted by Julie and John.
“Am I early, has Larry not arrived yet?”
“Sit and have a glass of fizz, there is something I have to tell you. I had a word with Larry and it turns out that I was right, he has been cross-dressing for ages and broke down and confessed to me when I told him about you. Larry will not be with us today, instead let me introduce you to my younger sister Laura.” On cue, Laura came in and it was obvious that she had been dressing for some time, her hair makeup and figure were immaculate, she was so feminine.
“I’m sure that you girls have lots to talk about later, but for now I am off to the kitchen to finish the meal preparations.” I followed her into the kitchen to have a chat.
“Laura is so convincing, I would never have guessed, but are you and John comfortable with everything?”
“It’s the person that I love, it doesn’t matter whether it’s Larry or Laura or what clothes they wear, if that’s what Laura wants to do, I will support her.”
“It has made me come to a decision, this is who I am, and after the holidays I am going to see my sisters and let them get to know the new me. I hope that they will be as accepting and understanding as you have been, and after the New Year, I will not be hiding myself away anymore.
The end.
Comments
Great story Gill.
A really great story Gill. I am glad that the girls stood by Jamie and put a stop to the bullying.
The WI is a great institution, especially in a small village, and I was persuaded to attend after my transition and am now on the committee, for my sins!
Lucy xx
"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."
on the committee
Many thanks Lucy. A pillar of the community. If you're fund raising for the WI keep away from copying the CalendarGirls.
Gill xx
On all sorts of levels
Mostly for the good of the community, but also aesthetic ones, none of us would make very popular Calendar Girls!
Lucy xx
"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."
.
.
Queen of the Road
Dorm rooms, for sale or rent,
Nothin’ goes for fifty pence.
No shop, no church, no school,
We ain’t got no village fool!
Sorry . . . that line . . . I couldn’t help myself . . . .
Emma
Queen of the road
Many thanks Emma.
Trailer's for sale or rent
Rooms to let, 50 cents
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Gill xx
Roger Miller
My dad was convinced that he was the world's greatest living musician. I think he was a fair to middling folk poet.
What a nice village.
I know of a few groups that would fit in with Jamie and the girls.
I also used to visit, a great aunt and uncle that lived in a small village like that.
No running water, gas or electricity, in Hampshire. This story brought it all back to me.
Thank you for the pleasant memories. I kissed my first girl there.
Polly J
A nice village
Vibrant city life is all well and good, but for community spirit and looking after each other, you can't bear a small village. Thanks for commenting Polly.
Gill xx
I will not be hiding myself away anymore.
wonderful!
Hiding away
It's a big step but coming out can relieve a lot of stress, particularly if those around you care for you.
Many thanks Dot.
Gill xx
Get That Villain
If he's not caught and punished he will return.
Other than that everything in the garden is lovely.
That villain
Unfortunately Joanne, although there were a few loose ends to tie up and more mileage left in Jamie Lee's story, the contest rules meant that I had to stop where I did. Maybe a sequel after the contest is closed. Thanks for your comment, glad you enjoyed the story.
Gill xx
Feather Duster Fight
After this story I'm brushing off the feathers and pulling them out of my mouth. No bar room brawls, no repeated bigot slurs, or unkind cat calls? Gillian, miss goody two shoes, anytime my emotions are spiking, my blood pressure is going up, reading one of your stories kills a good head of steam I have built up. Beautiful tale and it tracks very well for afternoon tea and cookies. I don't drink tea.
Sigh..., well done Ms Chambers
Barb
Knowledge has a Catch 22. The more we know the more we understand the real truth. When I learned everything, I realized I knew nothing.
!
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Feather duster fight
Barbie, there are so many troubles and worries in the world today, that a bit of gentle relaxation never does any harm, enjoy your tea/coffee and cookies. Glad you enjoyed the story, thanks for the comment.
Gill xx