Happiness is a two blade sword
The Wiseman
Just as I planned, everyone calmed down in a week. Seeing a man dressed as a woman, was like a boom to these mountains. But, any explosion has not the power to last long. People get used to this, but they will keep talking. Alia - Atan went back to the mine, dressed like a man, but this time with painted nails. People again commented a lot, but they got used to it. They all think I am a witch and I am responsible for the whole transformation. They think that, like a parasite, I keep sucking his blood and I will kill him slowly. Well, can they ever understand that this is not the truth? No. Just let them think what they want.
At the mine, he is Atan, the Geological expert, but back home, he becomes Alia, the woman (or at least half woman). But, after four days at the mine, he gets a free day home. Not the same is for me. I have to serve the railway station 24/7. Or, if I go somewhere else, I need to put someone else there. I usually call my sisters.
It is winter now. Today it is a bit warmer and snow starts to melt. Alia - Atan is home. We decide to cut some wood trunks for fire, then to smash large chunks of coal. Then, we do some cleanup in the house. All looks good. After we finish all this, we get back inside the house, to my laptop. This is the only connection to the outer world that we have.
I am dressed in a green sweater that he both me, with a knee-long brown skirt. I have brown pantyhose and black leggings. He is wearing a red woman blouse, with a knee-long skirt like me and with black opaque tights. This is how we were outside. I know some people walked by and seen this and this is just what I wanted. The fact that some people seen him like this, will keep everyone thinking that he is caught in my witchcraft. Finally, after months, they will get used to it. And by that time, it will come the time when he can walk through the village dressed like this.
The internet is the only connection to the world that we have and the only source of information. Alia - Atan is using now my laptop to read a message from his parents. It works like the old letters. He sends one, then they read and send another one back the next day. We light a cigarette.
"If they know that right now I am dressed like a woman and smoking" he says, "they will probably have a heart attack!"
I laugh. "Relax, there is no way they can find out".
"Hey, the Christmas is coming", he says. "Look, they want me to take a few free days and come to them".
"Well, that is the worst part of the year", I say, after I inhale some smoke.
"I don't get it. Why?"
"You will see", I answer. "At least for the railway. Drunk miners, drunk train engineers, drunk station operators... Also, drunk people in the villages. You will see. Drunk men starting to beat their wives and children, drunk women, incest and adultery... You will think this rotten world is going to end".
"Is this all they do for Christmas?" he asks amazed. "We decorate a tree, we bring presents to each other and mostly to children, we visit our relatives and friends". He takes a drag from his cigarette and says: "Then, let's go to visit my parents. The road would take two days and two days back... So, if we go on December 22th, we could be there and return here... around December 28th".
I look a bit surprised. Well, I've done many things in my life, but I never visited the world Beyond The Sea. Ana, this might be your chance!
"Christmas before the new year?" I say surprised. "Then, you must be a Catholic. Orthodox Christmas is after the new year", I say.
"No. I am an Orthodox, but where I come, it is celebrated before new year".
"Here, it is after the new year", I answer. "It would be better to be the same date. Less days to watch for drunk people!"
"I see you hate drunk people", he adds.
"It is true. Show me a single family destroyed by smoking and I will show you a million families destroyed by alcohol".
"But I always wanted to ask you", he adds. "Where does your extreme addiction to smoking come from?"
"It added over time, Alia", I say, while taking another dose of smoke. "I started smoking even before I was born, as my parents both smoked at that time. Then, when I was young, before school, I found cigarettes and started to smoke on my own. Nobody learned me how. It was just myself. I liked it. I was 6 when my parents found out. They tried to stop me in any possible way. But, each time, I was sitting on the floor and crying until they gave me a cigarette".
"I guess you were the youngest smoker on this planet!"
"Not quite... but I was young", I continue, while looking at my cigarette which is almost entirely consumed. "Then I went to school. My parents told me not to smoke there. But I was too addicted. I used to hide in the bushes beyond school fences, but one day they caught me. Immediately, my parents were called at school. The teachers convinced them to stop smoking after this incident. But I didn't. So, after a week, I was caught again. Then again and again and again".
"What age did you have?"
"I guess 10, don't remember exactly. Well, at some point, my dad went to the school director and said to him: 'There is no way to make her stop smoking. We tried everything possible. Even I stopped, my wife stopped, but she will not. If she has nothing to smoke, she will cry for hours. There is nothing we could do'. The director realized that was a big problem and asked my dad: 'What do you propose?' And he said: 'As long as she is in the schoolyard, she is protected, outside she is not. So, let her smoke somewhere in a corner, where you can have an eye on her. Better this way, then to have her hidden in the bushes and attacked by who knows what'. And the director accepted. The next day, he came to me and took me out in a brake, to the schoolyard. Close to the door of his office, there was a concrete slab. He told me, in front of other teachers: 'At the break between classes, you can come here and smoke. Nobody will do anything to you. I will watch you. Only on the concrete slab! You are not allowed to smoke anywhere else, not even on the road. On the concrete slab, you can smoke as much as you want'. He also told me that he now expects the best school results from me".
"Wow!" he says. "And you were smoking there?"
"Yes. In every break. The problem is that also other children wanted to... and I learned them. On the other hands, my parents and all teachers understood me, but were watching powerless as more and more children were getting addicted because of me. The only thing they could do is to force me learn better and be polite to everyone. This is how I become the cute and polite girl I was at school".
"I see..." he says, looking at my feet.
"Well, I remember a school inspector that once came. He seen me at class and was impressed, but then, he seen me smoking from the director's office. I remember what he said: 'Oh, that girl. Smart and good learning, second in her class. She is very cute and polite, even shy. But she smokes. How is that possible? Why don't you do something?' and the director said: 'I tried everything and couldn't do anything, not even her parents'. Then, I don't know what teacher called me 'Princess Nicotine' and all teachers started to call me that. Then, when I was 12 I think, the Biology teacher called me 'Nicotiana' and this remained my name. At high school I recommended myself as Nicotiana and at the University also as Nicotiana, that later became Ana".
"Now I understand where your strong addiction comes from", he says. "I imagine how everyone was looking at you, like at a big surprise".
"Well, it didn't take that much for everyone to get used to it", I add. "It was like a blast for the whole school, but it didn't last more then a week. Then, as I told you, as I moved to high school and the University, my parents could no longer support me. So, I survived by making and selling handmade cigarettes. Then, I entered business with that guy, Stromboli, a cigarette counterfeiter. It all worked well, until he tried to have a relationship with me. You know what happened. Well, he got his hands off me, but even today he comes and buys cigarettes from my parents and me, to smuggle them in the civilized world".
He answers nothing. He knows how I attacked Stromboli at that time. Too bad I didn't kill him, but still good he is alive, since he buys my staff. I know what people say in the civilized world, that smoking kills. Well, it gave me an identity, a name and the money to survive.
"I am amazed how, from that cute and polite girl, you evolved into what you are today", he says.
"It was not my wish to be like this", I add. "Don't you think I did not want a peaceful family life? To live a normal life in the village, get married and have children? With all that anger I had against all men. Against every man on the face of the Earth. Man, not sissy", I say, as I pinch his pantyhose.
"I am sorry for all your life", he says.
"I had one chance: to go to the University, if I didn't want to get into relationships with guys. But without money, I had to fight to survive".
As we talk, we see a new message from his parents:
Darling, if you cannot come for Christmas, we will come to you. Just tell us how to get to where you are.
"I don't want to see them here", he says. "They will destroy the new me, as you created it".
"Then we will go to them", I add fast.
"My parents are not like yours", he says. "They have a strong authority and they never allowed me do anything then learning, during school. And suddenly, after school, they forced me twice to get married".
"This is why you don't oppose me each time I decide something", I say. "You don't fight back. You are dominated by them, even by their shadow. You have to break the chains that they have put on you".
"They are my parents", he insists.
"I almost blew these mountains, over 50 people said 'I will kill you' and they still don't interfere with my life", I say. "Your parents have put a dog leash around your neck and you need someone to pull the leash, to follow. But you do have a personality, even a strong one. Only that it is encased. You have to break out!"
"I know".
"This will take time to happen. Maybe an year".
"I know... Well, should we tell my parents that we are going to them? I mean, they don't even know about you".
"Yes, we should", I answer. "Do you want to tell them about your new life?"
"I think not. Somehow, they are part of a life that no longer is mine. The former me died when I became the double-soul Atan - Alia".
"That's good", I say. The former me also died a long time ago, when that teacher told me that I am a sfenist".
"Do you keep in tough with her?" he asks.
"Yes, I do. And I think she would be happy to see you. Many answers await you there".
Then, I open Google Maps and look.
"Well", he says, "the most easy way to get to my parents should be to go to the Land Of Dictators, cross it and reach the Land Of Sea. From there, we can take an airplane".
"The Land Of Dictators is a Neo - Communist state. We can cross that easy, a little bribery should do the trick. But at the Land Of The Sea, people don't like us. We will could be arrested without any reason. I don't want that route".
"What if we go..." he continues. "Go to the Land Of Sand? I don't think so".
"The Land Of Sand is rich in oil deposits and people will not harm us. But to go there, we have to cross Land Of Fire, which is a revolting dump. Extremists and terrorists are at every corner. I don't think it is a good idea. I will be sold to a harem and you, as a Christian, will be crucified".
"Then, we have only one way to reach an airport", he finishes. "Through the Land Of Nomads, then the Land Of Ice".
"There I was at the University, in the Land Of Ice. I know the way. With some bribery, we will get there. Stromboli will help, if he wants more tobacco from me. Should be the best way! We just need to go to Jupiter for some paperwork before all this".
He tells his parents the following message:
Don't worry, we will get to you for Christmas. Wait us home!
He said 'we', when his parents have no idea who 'we' are. I smell a bit trouble. But, this must be done. We talk further details about this. The money for such a trip is beyond my possibilities, but not for him. We discuss the arrangements needed.
It takes a few days for us to get the paperwork. I talk with Abida and Cemis about the details, so they will work at the station for me. He goes to the mine and discuss about it. Since he is from far away, everyone accepts that a few free days will be a good thing for him. His parents answer in two days, saying: We? Who are you coming with? and he answers: You will see. Well, time to see a new world that I've never seen before! In my mind, I try to make a plan, but without enough details and many unknown factors, there is much I cannot fit.
I contact Stromboli on the internet for help and he shows us the best way to move around, all the way to the destination and back. He also gives us a job, to carry a fake transport of cigarettes for the customs to pick-up, so they will be busy looking in the wrong direction as he will smuggle two wagons full with cigarettes through the border. In exchange, he pays our transport.
We have a maximum window of 5 days, so everything must be planned carefully.
