Previously…

I still hadn’t taken in all that was said to me. Was I girl or a boy? It seemed that my body was rejecting the boy side of me and that was why I was developing as a girl; then there was the penis thing. I could never write my name in the snow...

‘Penny for your thoughts?’

‘Erm...what happens now?’

She looked at me, a slight smile playing on her lips.

‘Well Sarah, I think that we ought ter get yer some more clothes, get yer to a salon and then get out of the city and go ter somewhere that’s rather nice and have a lovely Christmas. Would you like that?

I felt my worries lift a bit. I remembered that the last Christmas that I was actually happy was the last one with my parents in India.

‘Yes please,’ I replied, smiling.

‘Have you ever been to Penmarris?’

And now the story continues…

‘Penmarris?’

‘Yes, nice spot; I have a smallish house there. Down by the sea, don’t yer know.’

‘That’ll be nice,’ I said, ‘I like the seaside.’

‘Right, let’s get yer sorted. I assume that yer don’t mind going ter the salon and then getting’ some togs?’

‘Togs?’

‘Clothes gel, clothes.'

‘That sounds nice, ‘I replied, ‘but I don't have any money.’

‘What's that got ter do with it?’

‘I can't afford…’

‘Money's not a problem…’

‘I don't want charity!’

She looked at me kindly.

‘It's not charity Sarah, it's me helpin’ you out because I want ter’. It's good that you feel that way. I was the same as you at your age. I wanted ter go it alone, have my independence and all that stuff, but sometimes, we all need help and yer should take it in the spirit that it's given. Will yer make an old lady very happy?’

‘You aren't that old.’

‘Flattery won't get you anywhere, or do yer need your eyes tested?’

~ §~

It was like I was in a dream. I pinched myself and then went ‘ouch’. If it was a dream, then I could feel pain in it!

Mr Smith drove us around Exeter and in next to no time, I found myself in a salon. It was a very expensive looking place and as we walked in, my nose wrinkled at the strong chemical smell. It was that perm smell. My mum had taken me into a salon in India, I forget where; we moved about so much, anyway, it was that sort of pong! It wasn't very pleasant and I hoped that I wasn’t going to be forced to have a perm; I would have to think of an exit strategy, like running for my life!

A lady, slightly older than the rest of the staff came over; I took her to be the receptionist.

‘Ah, Lady Fairbairn; nice to see you again.’

‘Andrea, this is my young ward, Sarah. She needs sortin’ out.’

Andrea looked at me and I could see a look of pain cross her face.

‘I see what you mean. Tomboy are you dear?’

I just nodded. I didn’t want to get into any sort of explanation about who or what I was.

‘Right, Mr Alphonse is just finishing with another client. I think Milady, you asked for a private room?’

‘Yes, if that’s convenient. Young Sarah here is a bit on the shy side.’

Andrea looked at me sympathetically.

‘Never mind dear, we don’t bite unless it’s a full moon.’

She laughed at her own joke and I smiled, as I wanted to seem polite.

‘Please follow me,’ she said.

Being a good girl (sort of), I did as I was told and I soon found myself in a mini salon type room off to the side. Lady F followed me in and just motioned me to sit in the barber’s chair or whatever it’s called.

‘Just wait here and Mr Alphonse won’t be a moment,’ said Andrea and then left us.

‘I…I’ve never been to a place like this except with my mum and I don’t remember that much about it.’

‘Alphonse is very good. He has magical hands. He knows about you and it doesn’t matter.’

‘He’ll need to have magical hands with me to work on.’

‘Don’t put yerself down, you are pretty Sarah and don’t forget it…’

The door opened.

‘Ah Laydies, it is vunderba to see you.’

‘Drop the damn’ fake accent Cedric; it’s me here not some damn’ simpleton.’

‘Sorry Lady F; so what do we have here?’

How can I describe Cedric? When he came in, I thought that he looked rather camp, if that’s the right expression. Pink shirt with a multi coloured silk scarf around his neck; bright green trousers and blue shoes completed the look. He looked more like a parrot than a person. Then there was the fake accent that defies description, maybe a mix of Italian, Greek and Newcastle.

Cedric’s ‘normal’ accent was what I would call soft West Country.

He took one look at me and a pained expression flitted across his face.

‘Who did this?’ he asked, ‘what sane person would make this girl go around with hair like this?’

I was pleased that he called me a girl, but not so pleased that he considered my hair to be a freak of nature.

‘Cedric,’ said Lady F, ‘behave yourself, you are here ter do somethin’ with her hair, not get her knickers in a twist.’

‘Sorry Milady, it’s just…’

He gave me another look, shuddered and then seemed to pull himself together.

‘Thank God you have come to me.’

He walked around the chair, eyeing my hair from different angles; tutting occasionally and raising his eyebrows individually and sometimes, collectively. I was getting a bit unnerved by this time and if Lady F hadn’t been standing in front of the door, I would have probably made a run for it.

I jumped suddenly as he looked at me straight in the eye.

‘Do you trust me?’

I didn’t know him from Adam, or Eve for that matter, and I glanced over at Lady F who briefly nodded.

‘What the hell.’ I thought, ‘It can’t be much worse than it already is.’

‘Yes,’ I whispered.

‘Good girl,’ he said.

Then things started to happen. He left the room and started shouting instructions.

‘Don’t worry,’ said Lady F, coming over, ‘his bark is worse than his bite, a bit like me really.’

‘But Milady…’I said.

‘None of that Milady nonsense; would yer prefer ter call me Auntie Dotty, after all I am in loco parentis?’

‘In loco praying mantis what?’

‘What in thunder they teach yer kids in school? In loco parentis means that I’m looking after yer and responsible fer yer wellbein’.’

‘I…I would like to call yer…I mean you Auntie Dotty, if possible.’ I said quietly.

‘No problem. Now where has that pest Cedric got to…?’

She left me to it and while I was alone, I reflected on all that had happened to me over the past few hours. This time yesterday, I was unhappy, unwanted and unloved. Now I think that the opposite was true and, at last, I had someone who really cared for me; even though it would only be for a short time. I kind of wished that I could stay with Auntie Dotty forever; she had impressed me so much, but I knew that she was busy and important and that I was just probably one of her ‘good works’. One thing I was sure of, she would help me find a home where I would be appreciated. It was strange that I had such feelings about someone. I Hadn’t trusted anyone since my parents died. There was something about her that drew me to her. Alright, she was ancient, but she was as strong as an ox, as far as I could see and when she smiled, the years rolled off her face and I could see a glimpse of how truly beautiful she must have been when she was younger…

Just then, the door burst open and Cedric came in followed by two girls in pink tabards.

It looked like they really meant business.

‘Oh blimey!’ I thought.

~ §~

They stuck this pink cape thingie on me that covered me to my knobbly knees and then they began…

The next hour went in a haze. My hair was washed several times and unction’s and lotions were liberally applied. This work was done by one of the girls whilst the other one got to work on my nails which were, according to Cedric, ‘a crime against humanity.’

Auntie Dotty stayed with me, sitting on a chair in the background, reading Country Life and sipping coffee. She sometimes looked up and gave me encouraging smiles, but it seems that she did trust Cedric and he wasn’t stopped from doing anything.

There was a mirror, but it was covered up and I wasn’t able to see what was going on with my hair. I could see the results of my fingernail treatment and they looked rather nice now and had a lovely shape. They, together with my toenails would be painted in an appropriate matching colour when I had my makeover done. Did I mention the makeover; probably not. Evidently, Cedric had had a minor row off camera with Auntie Dotty regarding a girl of my age wearing makeup other than at parties, balls or special occasions like being presented to the Queen. For once, Cedric won and the argument given, I found out later, was that Cedric wanted to show me my inner beauty and how it radiated to my outer persona, via the use of subtle and yet striking changes to my already stunning visage.

I didn’t understand that then and still don’t. As if I was anything other than a plain Jane! I think that some grownups tend to be a bit full of themselves, don’t you? Anyway, the long and the short of it was that Cedric got the go ahead and I got the full treatment’ although what that treatment was, I hadn’t a clue, as I had very little experience of being in any way beautified.

Oh, and one other thing, midway through all this, I got my ears pierced. Don’t let anyone convince you that it doesn’t hurt, it does. Still, the results were rather nice!

Anyway, back to the torture, I mean haircut, no, wrong word again, styling. After the girls had finished with me, Cedric went to town with my hair. I swear, at the time, I thought that he had cut most of it off and I was feeling a bit faint at the site of all my lovely hair being swept up and put into a bag. It reminded me a bit of that woman in the sci-fi horror that had all her hair shaved off; you know the one, Sigourney Thatcher –no Weaver. I was feeling decidedly light headed and wondered in passing how much I weighed without my hair.

Could I get a wig?

I was brought out of my reverie by Cedric, who stopped snipping, looked at me from several different directions and then eventually considered himself satisfied with his work.

After telling me how wonderful I looked, Cedric called in his top cosmetologist to do a complete makeover, then went off to torture some other poor unfortunate woman leaving me to the tender mercies of Sharon.

Sharon was the cosmewotsit and she went on about skin types, t-zones and other technical things that went totally over my head. I was only fourteen and had no experience of what was happening to me. It was all a pretty steep learning curve! Maybe other fourteen year old girls knew about this stuff, but it was all very new to me. It was never really about the clothes and the look; it was more about the me inside. I was a girl and that was it. Having nice girlie clothes, hair and makeup would only be the icing on the cake and I would then be able to show the world that I was what I always thought I was – a girl.

‘Anyway,’ I thought, ‘enough of the psycho babble; I will probably get my fill of that when I see the trick-cyclist that my doctor threatened me with!’

I may be giving the impression that I was unhappy with what was happening to me. This is far from the truth; it was just that I was going into the unknown and it was all bit overpowering. I just hoped that I would come out of the other end of the experience with hair, body and sanity intact.

Oh, one other thing. I really, really, really hoped that the stuff being plastered on my face wouldn’t make me look like Coco the clown.

My eyebrows had plucked like a chicken and shaped, I was told, because I had what looked like two hairy caterpillars above my eyes.

I was given a running commentary about what was being done to me but I took only bits of it in. One of the things that did stick was that I was given a light foundation, not heavy because my skin, despite being an oil slick zone, was light and clear. It should be; I had no spots (thank God!) And I was only fourteen. Then I had to close my eyes while she put on eye-shadow, ‘Various colours to blend and highlight your lovely large eyes,’

‘Yea, whatever,’ I thought, ‘do girls have to go through this every day? Maybe I should just try being a boy…Na, ain’t gonna happen.'

After the eye shadow thingie, I was told to open my eyes and stay very still while she avoided stabbing me in the eye with eyeliner pencil and then mascara whatsit.

After that, I just let her get on with it, as she applied blusher to my cheek; I wondered why I would need that, as I would be heavily blushing after seeing what had been done to me. I was getting a teensy bit antsy about not seeing myself in the mirror but manfully, or maybe womanfully, I held myself in check. After all I had all sorts of hormones coursing around my body and someone needed to keep them in check…

Oh, by the way, I didn’t mention, whilst Sharon was painting my face like the Forth Bridge, a few of the other girls were going to work on my nails, painting them, I mean; fingers and toes. The toes were a bit of a problem, as I am a bit ticklish in the foot department. They nearly had to strap me down at one point. Auntie Dotty had to speak to me rather severely.

‘Fer God’s sake girl, hold still. Anyone would have thought that yer were bein’ tortured; in my day etc…’

Work stopped on the construction of my face until the grizzly toe painting episode passed and then Sharon continued her work with an intensity only matched by that chap who painted the Sistine chapel …you know the one, erm, Michael Angel?

Anyway, back to my poor face; Sharon went to work on my lips and I had several coats applied and I wondered if my lips would look much fuller; they tasted slightly of strawberries and that was nice. Then I was told off for licking my lips. I just couldn’t win!

Finally, Cedric came back in, dismissed all the girls and it was just him, me and Auntie Dotty left.

He looked at me.

‘Hmm, better, much better.’

He helped me off with the cape and then played with my hair for a bit and then nodded.

‘You’ll do. Do you want to see what we have done?’

I nodded slowly. At least the pain would be short; a bit like having a wax job, or so I read somewhere.

Auntie Dotty put down her magazine, which she seemed to have been reading upside down for some reason, and stood up.

‘If yer don’t like what’s been done to yer hair, we’ll sort it out.’

‘Don’t like, don’t like; Lady Fairbairn, I protest. My work is magnif…’

‘Oh do be quiet Cedric, I know that yer the best hair wallah fer miles around, but she has a mind of her own and if she doesn’t like it, she can change it.’

Cedric looked far from happy at that possibility, but with a tight-lipped smile that spoke volumes, he reached over and removed the cloth hiding the mirror and then turned the chair around to face it.

What can I say; looking at my reflection, it was as if I was seeing someone else. I opened my mouth and my reflection copied me. Moving my head, made it move at the same time.

It was me; a nice me, dare I say it a very pretty me.

My hair was shorter, but not much shorter. I did have what you could call dirty blond hair and now it shone with a brilliance that it never had before. It was styled in a sort of a long bob and parted on the left. It looked beautiful and nothing like the disaster that was my hair, when I was pretending to be a boy.

I put my hand up to my face. Holding my hair back slightly, I could just see the gold studs in my ears and although my poor lobes were slightly aching, I thought that the pain was worth it and I looked forward to the time when I could wear more flamboyant ones. I saw that my slightly extended hard gel nails matched exactly, the carefully applied pink lip gloss which did make my lips seem fuller and more girlie. My now peaches and cream type complexion looked wonderful and my eyes; well, they looked huge, defined by the use of the eye liner pencil and the blended colour of my eyelids. The mascara enhanced, thickened and lengthened my lashes, making the overall look complete.

‘You like?’ asked Cedric.

‘I like very much, thank you so much. What do you think Auntie?’

‘Lovely,’ she said with a slight break in her voice.

She was looking at me with a puzzled look on her face. Then she shook her head and continued, ‘more importantly, what do you think?’

‘I love it. I look like a real girl now!’

‘You are a real girl,’ said Auntie firmly.

‘Aww, Auntie!’

I think that I fell in love with her then.

I got up and gave her a hug and then Cedric.

‘Anyone can see you are a girl all the way through,’ said Cedric, ‘now, I need to look after my other clients; but Sarah, you must come back when your hair grows out a bit and then I can work my magic on you again.’

As we went out of the salon to the waiting Mr Smith and his Roller, I thanked the other girls for all the work that they had done.

I never thought, in my wildest dreams that I would have the full salon experience, but now I had been through it, I wondered when I would next get the chance. It was very addictive and worth all the hassle.

It was starting to get dark as we drove out of Exeter. Christmas lights were everywhere; on houses, a few public buildings and in some of the shopping areas that we passed through. Auntie fell asleep, snoring slightly and that left me to look at the scenery as it went by and slowly turned from urban to countryside. The journey was to take about an hour and a bit according to Mr Smith and I couldn’t wait to get to our destination – Auntie Dotty’s little house.

All too soon the sun went down and it was dark outside. My eyes started drooping and it wasn’t long before I joined Auntie (I loved being able to call her that; it almost made me feel like family!) and fell asleep.

~ §~

‘Wake up Sarah, we’re almost there.’

Yawning and stretching, it took a moment to realise where I was, and then it came rushing back as I looked down at my hands and saw my pink fingernails. I glanced at Auntie and she was looking at me.

‘Well Sarah; I hope that yer will like me little shack. Its small and cramped, but I like it.’

‘I’m sure that I will love it, as long as you are there with me.’

‘Get orf with yer; none of that sweet, saccharine nonsense. We didn’t win the war with an attitude like that. In my day…’

She went on a bit about how the war was won but I could see how affected she was by my words.

We drove on for a while through dark lanes. I could see very little, except when we passed through infrequent villages. At last, we climbed up a steep hill and then the road bent to the left. The car stopped in a lay-by and Mr Smith turned off the engine, got out of the car, came around to Auntie’s door and opened it for her.

‘Right young Sarah; Smith and I thought that it would be a good idea to stop here and stretch our legs.’

With that she got out of the car and I scrambled out after her.

‘Thanks Mr Smith,’ I said.

‘Just Smith, Miss.’

‘Oh, right, erm, I think.’

Auntie walked to the side if the road where there was a fence. She motioned to me and I followed.

I gasped as I looked down at the picture postcard scene of a harbour and seaside village. The moon was full and I could pick out the features almost as if it was daylight. The harbour itself was bathed in light from street lamps dotted all around the harbour wall and along the quay. Fishing boats were tied up; a few had lights on them as fisherman worked on the nets and catches, accompanied by sea gulls wheeling about, probably hoping for some tasty snack. Small boats and yachts were dotted about in the calm safe water of the small harbour bobbing up and down in the moonlight making the water ripple.

My eyes were drawn towards the quay and the houses and cottages dotted all up and around the cove. Being Christmas, I could see thousands of colourful lights everywhere. On the quay in particular, there were lights strung between lampposts and in the centre was a huge Christmas tree that was absolutely covered with twinkling lights and had a huge star on top that shone out and made the place even more festive looking, if that was possible.

Lots of people were walking along the quay and I could see stalls selling hot food and drinks and at the far end was an ice rink, of all things. I had always wanted to skate; maybe I would get the chance here.

‘It’s lovely.’ I whispered.

‘Yes it is and it’s your home for a while.’

‘I wish it could be forever,’ I said enthusiastically and then I looked at her, ‘sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.’

‘Well Sarah, sometimes wishes do come true, but let’s be patent and enjoy things as they are now.’

‘Yes Auntie.’ I replied with a sigh.

I would enjoy all this while I could and even if it all ended after Christmas, I would at least have my memories.

~ §~

It was getting a bit chilly, so we reluctantly got back into the car. Soon we were climbing again, the car I mean, with us in it. I was kind of hoping that we could go through Penmarris, but Auntie said that she would show me around the following day and I had to be satisfied with that. I was dying to put on some skates!

I hoped that her little house was nice, but it didn’t really matter as I would have been happy anywhere with someone that liked me rather than that awful soulless home that I had lived in for far too long.

We passed the church, which looked nice and floodlit, although the steeple looked a bit wonky à la the leaning tower of Pizza or was that Pisa? Then I saw what looked like an infant’s or junior school, but it was a bit too dark to see clearly. Eventually we went down a long lane and turned and went through an entrance with large wrought iron gates. There was a long sweeping drive and to the left were some pockmarked lawns and floodlit trees and in the distance a lake with a huge fountain that was lit from beneath with changing coloured lights. It was all very pretty and I wondered where we were going.

The car swept around another bend and there, in front of us was a huge mansion also floodlit, it looked like it had loads of rooms and it reminded me of Darcy’s mansion form the TV series Pride and Prejudice – it was that big.

‘That’s a nice house,’ I said to Auntie, ‘I bet someone swanky and important lives there. How far is it far to your little house?’

She smiled.

‘Not far,’ she replied.

The car was now travelling on gravel and the tyres crunched as we slowly came nearer to the mansion.

We slowed down and then stopped outside some huge, impressive double doors. I wondered why we had stopped and thought that maybe Auntie was going to have a word with someone.

One of the doors opened and a man that looked a bit like a butler type person came out, walked down the steps and then glided over to Auntie’s car door.

The man opened the door and Auntie stepped out.

‘Come along Sarah, don’t dawdle.’

Puzzled, I followed.

The man looked at me and smiled – he had a nice smile.

He turned to Auntie.

‘Welcome home Milady.’

‘Thank you Jenkins; this is young Sarah, she’s come to stay with us for a while.’

‘Welcome Miss Sarah, I hope that you will enjoy being with us.’

For once in my life, I was speechless.

---

To Be Continued…

~o~O~o~

To all my long suffering and patient readers, I would like to wish you a very Happy Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

Please leave comments…thanks! ~Sue