Changes~2

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It took thirty minutes to get on the motorway that leads down to Devon and the West Country–plenty of time to think about what I should do. I know I wasn’t thinking straight–the shock of my wife and her betrayal would probably haunt me for the rest of my life...


Changes

Chapter 2

By Susan Brown


 
 
Previously…

Trying again, I looked where my finger had landed and smiled, South Devon, near the Cornish border–Penmarris Cove. It looked like a small fishing village–that would be where I would try to rebuild my life.

‘That will do.’ I said starting the car and following the signposts that said West Country.

And now the story continues…

It took thirty minutes to get on the motorway that leads down to Devon and the West Country–plenty of time to think about what I should do. I know I wasn’t thinking straight–the shock of my wife and her betrayal would probably haunt me for the rest of my life. At first I blamed myself for being transgendered, but my wife came into the marriage with eyes wide open. I told her on the second date, who and what I was. She seemed to get a buzz out of my far from normal gender identity. The one thing she was concerned about was whether I took the final step and had SRS, but I said that I had no intention of doing that and she seemed quite happy with my response.

We had a lovely white wedding at a little church near Maidstone in Kent, where she had been born. The only down side for me was that I wasn’t the one wearing the wedding gown.

The service was traditional; the only difference being that we both read the famous poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, taking turns to read each wonderful line. I felt a lump in my throat as I remembered the words:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

I had to stop in a lay-by for a few minutes get myself back together again–but after I pulled myself together and gave myself a good talking to, I continued on, as I still had a long way to travel.

As the car sped its way toward my destination, I wondered whether I should have screamed and shouted when I caught them naked in our house on one of our beds; but, what was the point? She obviously didn’t find me enough for her, so she went elsewhere for love; or was it just the sex? For all I knew he was the milkman, plumber or whatever. Shouting, screaming and fighting wouldn’t have changed anything. Our marriage was over and beyond repair once she decided that I wasn’t what she wanted any more.

We were so happy at first, doing everything together and enjoying adventurous sex. We liked to ‘do it’ in lots of different places. Including on a train, a mile up in the air, on a ship, (we liked to travel). We never managed a bus, but probably would have done given time. Where was I? Oh yes–we made love in a field, on top of a cliff and even in the car park of our local pub; you get the message, we enjoyed life to the full. It wasn’t just the sex, we loved going to the theatre and concerts, eating out, parties–all things a loving couple like to do together. Then it all started to unravel about a year ago and I always thought that it was my fault. Had I gone too far with my dressing? Every evening and at weekends, I spent dressed as a girl. Every night, I went to bed in silky nighties and this seemed to help heighten our lovemaking for a while. Olivia only saw me dressed as a male on the occasions that I needed to be–going to work or other functions that required me to be en drab.

Sighing, I came out of my reverie as I took the slip road to the M4; traffic was quite heavy even here as the rush hour was in full swing. There was quite a lot of stop start traffic and once again, as I didn’t have to concentrate on driving at speed, I returned to my thoughts.

Sinking into a bit of self-pity; I remembered the good times. Tears streaked down my face as I remembered the first time we made love. I was a virgin and I think she was. I’m not so sure now as she seemed to be a bit of an expert and you don’t learn everything reading books. Anyway, for me the experience was lovely–the culmination of the love we had for each other…

The road seemed to clear miraculously ahead and soon I was up to speed again. Concentrating on the traffic and the road ahead meant that my disturbing thoughts were put in the background. A good thing really as the last thing I wanted to do was start crying again at nearly eighty miles an hour!

I drove for nearly two hours and it was getting dark now. I saw the sign warning that a service area was one mile ahead and decided to have a break and do something else too.

Pulling up at a parking bay, quite a way from anyone else–it was not very full as it was a weekday and getting a bit late. I switched off the engine and shut my eyes for a moment.

I must have dropped off because when I looked at the clock on the dashboard, half an hour had passed. There were no cars near me and I was relatively alone. Looking at my drab suit, I grimaced, hating the sight of it and the feel of the shirt and tie, tight against my neck. I made a decision then, one that had been at the back of my mind ever since I saw Olivia and him. Taking off my jacket, I threw it on the back seat. My tie followed.

Looking around to make sure that I was still unobserved, I got out of the car and then going to the boot, opened it. I had brought no male clothing with me as subconsciously, I suppose, I had decided that I no longer wanted to be seen as a male in any way shape or form. The dichotomy of trying to live a dual life hadn’t worked for me or Olivia, so I made the decision.

Opening a case, I pulled out a pink sweatshirt and grey jogging pants, putting them on the back seat. Returning to the boot, I rummaged around the case for the other things that I needed. There was a selection of bras and my breast forms, I picked out a white bra, some pink sports socks and my white trainers with pink edging that had been jammed down the side of the case when I hurriedly packed it. I now had all I needed and shut the boot. Looking around, another car had parked about 30 yards away and I waited for the couple to get out of their car and walk hand in hand towards the services building before I continued with my plan, such as it was.

I sat in the back of the car–plenty of room in a 5 series BMW, luckily–and after checking that all was clear, I got changed. Off came my shirt and I immediately put on the bra and placed the rather cold breast forms next to my hairless skin. After a small adjustment of the straps, I was okay. Then I put on the sweatshirt. With one eye on possible sightseers, I removed my trousers; I was wearing a pair of pink satin panties already, so I didn’t have to change them.

I pulled up the jogging pants, not easy in a car but with a certain amount of Houdini-like contortions, I managed to put them on. Finally, I put on my pink socks and trainers and then I was done–well that bit was anyway. It was quite dark now and I only had the lights of the parking area to guide me, I took out the brush form the glove compartment and gave my longish blond hair a good brush pulling the hair back and concentrating on the tangled end bits. Then taking a pink scrunchie that had been around the handle of the brush, I put my hair up in a pony tail. The mirror wasn’t too good, so I didn’t see if my hair was okay but as the first thing that I was going to do was go into the ladies loo, I didn’t worry about it.

I didn’t shave much, being light skinned and blond, so I just put a bit of foundation on and squinting in the small vanity mirror, put on some pink lippy. A few minutes later, after picking up my shoulder bag, I locked the car and walked towards the bright lights of the service area, feeling a bit like a jogger in my outfit but, hopefully looking the part.

Not wanting to hang around, I went straight to the ladies–something I had only done twice before–but hell I was the new me now, all girl and proud of it. I had to assert myself no matter how much of a coward I felt deep inside. Heart thumping, I pushed the swing doors open.

As soon as I walked in, without looking to left or right, I went to an empty stall, shut the door, pulled down my joggers and panties and sat down. Sighing with relief, I let it all go, making sure that my wayward and now unwanted appendage was pointing downward–Unwanted, that was a thought, did I really want to go all the way now?

I didn’t want to go there so I finished the business and after wiping myself carefully and taking my courage in both hands, I unbolted the door and went out, certain that thousands of women would stop and stare at me.


 
To Be Continued...

Please leave comments...thanks!
My thanks also go out to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape!
~Sue

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Comments

Not enough meat

It looks as if there might be a good story here at some point, I'd especially like to see some kind of confrontation between him and his wife. But at this rate it is liable to be Christmas before anything gets going. Please consider longer chapters, I think it would be more enjoyable for the reader.

m

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

Patience!

This story is hopefully going to be short chapters with regular updates rather than my normal long chapters with not so regular updates. The next one should be up in a couple of days.

Withheld, if you want a long read, I suggest War and Peace.

Hugs
Sue

Read carefully

I said "longer". ;-)

I'll wait a month or two and read what's accumulated to that point. That's me exercising patience.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

War and Peace

Make sure you read it in Russian. I hear it is the best way to read it.

Hugs,

Jenna From FL

Hugs,
Jenna From FL
Moderator/Editor
TopShelf BigCloset
It is a long road ahead but I will finally become who I should be.

Brilliant retort :)

Looks as though, as with "Bike" and VC, the comments are going to be (almost) as interesting as the story itself...

 
 
--Ben


This space intentionally left blank.

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

When Hs Exwife

Finds the items mising, then she will know that she lost him for good.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

With all the emotional

With all the emotional turmoil going through his mind, Tom is definitely not thinking too clearly at the moment and is taking a lot of risks. I do hope he stays safe.

Keep up the good work Sue, this is a fascinating tale.

Pleione

I Just Caught Up

joannebarbarella's picture

I wonder if he really saw what he thought he saw. Anyway, he seems to be set upon a course of change. The story would indicate that this is a fait-accompli. OK, I'm along for the ride,this being a Sue Brown story,
Joanne

Why do people write such short chapters.

Two chapters down and we still don't know much about the story. I wouldn't even consider the two chapters written as being even one chapter.

I don't know about others, but I find it quite frustrating diving into a story only to smash my nose on the bottom. I scream when a story ends so quickly.

Perhaps you could mark the story when its finished with 'Final chapter' so I can go back and read it and enjoy it instead of cursing.

Thank you.

Sincerely

Nobody.

You Cannot Rush Good Quality!


Sephrena Lynn Miller
BigCloset TopShelf
TGLibrary.com
    Sue Brown is doing her best in her own time. She has many things in real life to do outside of writing for our pleasure ^^. If she had more time I am quite sure you would see more faster. Angharad happens to have time to write a lot so that is why we so so much of hers. So be patient please.
 
 
 
 

Longer not faster

Neither of us said she needed to post longer chapters at the same rate she is hoping to post the shorter ones; just when she does post, post longer chapters. That seems like a fair comment to me. If she rolled a week or two week's shorts into one post every ten days or so, that would be great. This stop and go posting makes it hard to get into the story, which looks as if it might be pretty good.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

Beggars can't be Choosers…

…is an old saying that my mother and grandmother drummed into my head as a child. Why can't you be content with what Sue has the grace to serve up for you? To sit down and write a long chapter requires quite a lot of thought and a big time commitment. If short chapters are what suits Sue, then let her write short chapters. As her editor, I would much rather have her writings little and often than than great huge chunks that take a long time to edit.

From an editor's point of view a long chapter can take a big time commitment to get it grammatically correct and easy to read. I take my task as editor seriously and only when I am satisfied with what I have done will I email the document back to the author/ess for approval and posting.

If short chapters is what suits the authoress, then let her write short chapters. So, in rather course 1940s UK school slang, “Why don't you just shut your cake ’ole."

Or perhaps you would rather Sue didn't bother to write for you at all.

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

PM

PM sent.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

re PM

Hi Withheld,

No PM received

Hugs

Sue

Final Chapter Identification

I looked at Sue's story pages. She does clearly identify the final chapter (when it is posted) of her serials in the title.

Taking control

Sounds like Tom is taking control of his life, to me. That's a lot better than dwelling on the past and things you can't change.

Looking good, Susan, keep it up!

Saless

P.S. I think these short chapters are fine. In my experience the story dictates the length of the chapters so trying to make longer or shorter ones is counterproductive. Write it whatever way feels best for you!

"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America

A new story

Thank you, Sue, for this new story. I wait--patiently, by the way--for more.

I know that a writer sometimes grows tired of relating events about the "same old" characters, but if you choose to further those story lines...well, I'll patiently wait for those as well. Besides, I've found some great fiction in other corners while waiting for a Sue Brown original.

And if you give us lots of short chapters, that's fine with me. Nibbles are fun. It's all in the attitude you bring to the table.

SuZie

I'm happy to keep in touch with this one!

So far so good.

When you have written some really good verse i.e Elizabeth Browning's verse and so on.

I would rather see a paragraph about the guts of the story than a description of going to the toilet, surely a line is adequate? We can guess the rest!

I guess I see this so many times in many TG stories it becomes annoying!

Any way, I think you have 2 chapters which have captured my interest so I hope to read more.

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Variety, People

terrynaut's picture

Sometimes short is good. Sometimes I don't have a lot of time to read. I appreciate a good, short chapter now and then.

I like getting some background in little bits. It's making me rethink what I'd do under the same circumstances. It sounds like a lot to throw away for one indiscretion, assuming it was the first and only time.

I'm beginning to wonder whether the wife will realize what has happened and regret her indiscretion. I can see her looking for her hubby and having a very tearful reunion. *sigh*

Anyway, thanks for the chapter. Please keep up the good work.

- Terry

In revenge movies...

... the setup is such that it gives the protagonist the moral license to do almost whatever they please, illegal or not; like killing everyone involved in killing your family, or whatever.

I guess one of the TG fiction equivalents is to have your previous life disintegrate so that you are finally free to transition because nothing is holding you back. We've seen enough of both parents killed in a car crash to make it a cliche and I for one like this variant. And the finger to the map is a nice touch speaking volumes about how serious the protagonist is about letting everything go.

- Moni

I like the tone and

I like the tone and direction this story is taking. Yes, the chapters are short, but so what? They are powerful and have continuity.

Lovely beginning

I like this one.

The beginning is powerful and his reaction quite possible, with the exception of not talking with his work. Even if you hate your work you will still feel a certain responsibility, at least if you have been there for some time, but I guess that will come later :). As for the story itself it's, as always, very accomplished and sure, it's working its magic on me Susan, and I'm plenty pleased that you wrote it for me, others too?

Possibly? (Naturally:)
Anyway, you're one of those I read with pleasure.

Joining your journey...

... I shall be, every time I set off for Cornwall, sometimes down the M4 if I wanna get there fast, sometimes the M£/A303 country way if time's not critical. How I wish I could do just what you've done - change..... Love where you're taking me! Ginger xxx

From the height of joy to the depts of dispair...

Ole Ulfson's picture

as Tom begins to understand what he's lost and begins to wonder if it ever existed.

Can happiness really be so ephemeral and illusory?

YES!!!

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!