In which Bill has a revealing session, and then later a dream, or is it? But Hey, the two friends are found.
Who Was I
By: Annette
We were quietly sneaking up to the building. Stacy had remained at the corner to keep watch while Karen and I went in first.

"You ready to climb up and hook the ladder." I whispered to Karen.

She nodded, and stepped into my hands as I lifted her to waist level. Two quick taps on her leg then a quick hop had her standing on my shoulders. Two more taps, and I stood back up. She squeezed her toes to my chin so I knew she could reach the sill. I stood very still, bracing my hands against the brick wall.

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Part 25   Monday morning (20-Nov-06)

"Hello Mrs. Wyman, Mr. Wyman. I hope you had a good week."

"Dr. Wong good isn't the best description, based on what happened last week, but I think I'm coming to terms with it."

"We'll work through it Bill. And, once we get the contact info on your two classmates, maybe we can confirm some of the things from the last week." At my nod, she continued. "Dr. Wong, if Bill has been conditioned, I think is the term, to not think about some things, is there a way to remove or break the conditioning? And, if so what's the impact?"

"I was going to bring that up today, because so far, I've not been able to find an alternative rationale that covers all of the issues. Depending on how the conditioning was accomplished, it is breakable, either easily or with some effort. The question becomes how the conditioning was accomplished. The most common form of conditioning I'm aware of includes physical as well as mental coercion, like what was done to some prisoners of war, and I don't believe that approach was used in this case. This may actually make things easier. Other approaches include the introduction of drugs to weaken the will and hypnosis to provide direction in the desired manner. Again, this is not something easy to accomplish without the victim's awareness. I'm not aware of any other conditioning mechanisms that have long term, potentially life altering effects. Simple effects by comparison include Smoking cessation and appetite suppression."

"Those are SIMPLE? It took my mom decades to finally stop smoking! And two of her uncles had died of Lung Cancer."

"Yes Mrs. Wyman. Though, some times some of the same techniques are used to assist there that I described above. For example, a combination of drugs to curb the craving and hypnotic suggestion to avoid the smoking is a very effective approach for most people. But back to what you were probably asking, can we break the conditioning on your husband?"

"Yes, that plus help him recover the memories."

"Well, to the first part. Maybe. If we can identify the trigger point of the conditioning, we may be able to release the trigger. This could either release them all at once, or have very little effect since they have been in effect so long. A common misconception about conditioning is that if you take them away, the mind reverts to its original path. That MAY be the case if it's accomplished early enough. But, if the behavior and thought pattern is ingrained well by the conditioning it is reinforced periodically over a long period of time, it becomes part of the way a person is. It's like a habit. They can be good or bad, but they're part of you. Conditioning CAN be self imposed. It's how you teach yourself habits. You may have noticed, but it is easier to put a new habit in place of an old one than to just break the old one. Sorry to have drifted a little there. Back to you Mr. Wyman. As I said, we may be able eventually to remove the trigger for your conditioning if we can find it. Similarly the lost memories may still be there, and assuming what we've found is real, they probably are. Assuming this is the case, if we can identify how, where and maybe why, we may be able to work around the block and possibly remove it."

"So, can we return your husband to the person he would have grown to be without anything done to him? No. I have no idea what that would have been. I really believe it wouldn’t have been much different than he is today." She turned to me. "Think about it this way Mr. Wyman. You've forgotten things before haven't you?" At my nod, "You didn't change who you were when you forgot?" I nodded again. "Well, when you remembered it again, did you change who you were?"

"No. And, as far as I know, these memories you've helped me recover, while disturbing haven't made me a different person."

"Exactly. Now, a large BLOCK of memories and the feelings they bring with them may have more impact, but the core that is you will still be you. Let me think of a more dramatic example." She was quiet a minute. "Okay. Consider a transgendered individual that has lived 30 years without admitting to him or herself that they have issues." She looked at both of us at that, I guess to make sure we were following her and she didn't have to back up to explain things. "Assume now that this person goes all the way and transitions successfully. He or She is still the same person they were before. They do present a new face to the world, but the inner bit that is the person, their memories, their beliefs, all of that has not changed. Does that help?"

"Ummm. I think I understand. But, the more I hear, the more I feel like I'm either only part of a man, or a made up one."

"Never that Mr. Wyman. You are a complete person! You may have had, and I still emphasize MAY, something done to you as a child but you have grown beyond that." She looked at both of us before continuing. "I know this is hard to deal with! That it might even have happened disturbs me no end. As I see it, we've four ways to go forward. The first is to just take today as a day to rehash the issues we've already talked about or to call it a day and you can think through them on your own and we pick up again after the long weekend. Second, we could dive in for another childhood memory, perhaps spawned by last week's or some other. Third we could try for a much more recent memory like one you believe should be there from your high school days, one of the selectively blocked memories. And finally, we could try to focus on the time where evidence seems to be indicating the manipulation, if it happened, occurred. This last one is one where we have to be careful. Since we don't have an easy way to confirm the events we may be able to recover, we won't really know how much of what we find really happened. We never got a chance to do the baseline false memory check."

I looked at Becky. "Your call Bill, but despite the questions, I think the last option is the best."

I gave a startled "Why?"

"Bill, we started all this to help you get your memories back. This has a chance of pointing to a way to get them back. Even if it’s not real, I think it's worth taking it. I mean, what's the harm?"

"That's a change! It wasn't long ago that you were against this whole process due to the chance of implanting memories."

"Yes Bill, that does still concern me, but" and here she turned and nodded at Dr. Wong and then returned to me. "Dr. Wong has shown her skill and professionalism to us. Besides, in this case, you already have one false memory."

"Oh yea. Well, here goes nothing. Let's try."

We headed back to the Room, and I relaxed into the chair. Dr. Wong came up to me, and pulled the monitor probes out.

"We need those?"

"Probably not. But, since we're going into uncharted territories and last time was a little exciting at the end, I'd rather be safe than sorry." At my nod, she hooked me up. I assume Becky got comfortable in her chair.

"You're walking through the forest..."

"Welcome back Mr. Wyman."

"Huh, whah. Did anything happen?

"Yes quite a lot as it turns out. If what you described bears any relationship to reality. You don't recall this session do you?"

"No, not at all."

"Mrs. Wyman, thank you for letting me continue in there. That he doesn't remember is actually a good indicator that this actually happened substantially as he described it. Mr. Wyman, the fact you can't recall this session and you did the previous ones would be a side effect of your conditioning to not recall the class. It's also a good indicator that maybe this all happened back then. And, it's more important than before that you contact your two classmates! I'd really like to talk to them as well now!"

"Wow. Are either of you going to tell me what I said?"

Becky and Dr. Wong looked at each other. "He's right you know Dr. Wong."

"True. Well, Mr. Wyman, here's a quick summary of what you described to us." She went on and described it. I sat there a bit dazed. It fit everything we knew but, wow. "Mr. Wyman, are you still with us?"

"Oh yes. What?"

"You said you went to a Neurologist to rule out trauma didn't you?"

"That's right."

"Would you ask him to send me a copy of the report? I'd like to see if there's something that correlates to what you may have gone through."

Becky interrupted. "Dr. Wong, I've a copy right here and I think you’ll find the answer is yes." She fished the report out and handed it to her. I was yet again relieved by how organized Becky was.

"Hmmm. Well, that does fit doesn't it?" She looked up at me. "Mr. Wyman, how would you feel about a biopsy to get a sample of that scar tissue?"

"Ummm. What do you mean?"

"They insert a thin tube, like a shot needle, and pull out a small sample of the tissue."

I shudder a bit at this, needles really aren’t my thing. Though, come to think of it, you'd think that I'd have been desensitized by my childhood, if that memory was right. "What would that tell us?"

"Perhaps nothing, but if we're lucky, it might tell us the chemical mechanism that caused the damage. This, in turn, could tell us what chemical was used on you."

"Ummm." I was still not thinking nice thoughts about a needle poking into the back of my head. "And that tells us what?"

"Well, if we can identify the chemical, it might aid us in finding a way to reverse some of the block or at least it will give us a better understanding of how things were done."

"Okay, if you can write up what it is you want, I can see about getting an appointment."

# - # - # - # - #

That night

We were quietly sneaking up to the building. Stacy had remained at the corner to keep watch while Karen and I went in first.

"You ready to climb up and hook the ladder." I whispered to Karen.

She nodded, and stepped into my hands as I lifted her to waist level. Two quick taps on her leg then a quick hop had her standing on my shoulders. Two more taps, and I stood back up. She squeezed her toes to my chin so I knew she could reach the sill. I stood very still, bracing my hands against the brick wall.

She carefully hooked the ladder over the sill, and then began lowering the rungs down in front of her. As I saw it pass my face, I reached up, and tapped her leg again. She slowed down her lowering then, and the ladder eventually hit the ground with a quiet knock. That should be all of it. We'd measured a number of times. I again tapped her leg once, then grabbed the ladder with that hand and held it. A quick turn of my head, just a little bit, and she moved a foot forward to the ladder. A moment later, the weight left my shoulder as she shifted her weight to the ladder. After a moment's pause she quickly climbed up and to the sill. Once there, a soft hoot called out. I knew she was letting Stacy know it was her turn. I moved to the side, and held the ladder with one hand. She was back to me as quietly as Karen and I had been, and then flew up the ladder. Now for my turn. I almost wished it hadn't been my turn to go last that was always the hardest to keep quiet. The ladder tended to swing and silence was still critical. I felt the ladder pull a bit away from the wall, and knew they'd gotten off the sill, and were bracing the top bit. I carefully moved my body closer to the ladder and ever so slowly started my climb. One hand, one foot, brace, other foot, brace, repeat. I finally got to the top, and as my shoulders got above the sill, Karen was leaning half way out with Stacy bracing her. I moved to the side, while standing still, as Karen pulled the bottom of the ladder up so it wouldn't bang as I climbed in. When she'd gotten it up, a quick tap and I advanced one rung, and she pulled in another. In this way, I got up, and she was able to keep the ladder from smacking against the wall.

Finally, we were all in the tower. Getting out had been so easy by comparison. So far, we'd not been detected. We rolled and stored the ladder, Stacy again at the door listening for sounds. When Karen and I came over, being careful to miss the squeaky boards. When we got there, she motioned us to stay back while she opened the door. Easing a dental mirror through the crack, she looked around outside. I never liked that job either. Eventually, she was satisfied, and opened the door further, then stepped out and signaled us to follow. I carefully closed the door, and we headed up the stairs. We avoided the trick steps, and once we got to the top floor, we hugged each other before going into our rooms and lying down.

"You begin to waken. You get up, and come down out of your tower” He said as we sat up on our mats. I looked over at Karen. She seemed Okay. "Today, we learned more about the value of teamwork. I'll see you again on Thursday and we'll see if we can do a little better. Let's get you back to your class so you can get your assignments and coats. It's cold outside today."

"Teacher, why can't we tell the other kids about our adventures?"

"Well Stacy. You know you never left the room right?" At her nod, he continued. “The other kids know you're not leaving the school." This time he looked at Karen and me too. I quickly nodded and I'm sure she did too. "Well, since they can't go on adventured while in the school, what do you think they'll say if you tried to tell them?" The light dawned for me, and I heard an erp from Stacy, so I guess it did for her too. "I see you understand now. Well, if there are no further questions, let's get you to class. The bell will be ringing soon.

On the way home from school, Karen asked, "do you think he knows we went off on our own today?"

"I don't think so," replied Stacy. "He seemed to think we'd been doing his booring exercise again."

I nodded, and then said "We still need to be careful. Remember how mad he was last week, when he discovered we were doing something different!"

"That's okay Lee. We've only got two more weeks of school, and then it's a whole summer at your grandparents! Won't that be grand! It'll beat going to that silly camp where we got split up like we did at the end of last summer!"

"Yea Karen," Stacy agreed. "Are you sure we'll get to see you looking nice Lee?"

"Oh yea! Aunt Rachel's really cool! You guys will love her! Hey, stack's at my house this afternoon!" With that the three of us took off at a run.

Whoa! That was some dream! Could it really have happened like that? Best get it into the trusty log. I hopped up out of the bed, and padded down to my study and tried to get as much down as I could. When I was done, I sat back and thought about it for a few minutes. I wonder where that came from. It was fascinating though. If it was just our imagination, how'd we do a shared dream? Well, best get back to sleep.

# - # - # - # - #

The next evening

"Bill, the letter came in today!" I must have given her a blank stare because she went on "You know the one from Jane Dickenson. The Private Investigator." The light finally dawned on me.

"Are they anywhere close?"

"Actually, they're both still here in town. I got Karen on the phone this afternoon, and said I was looking up information from your graduating class, and since she was in the top three, I wanted to ask her a few questions."

"That's shading things don't you think?"

"Maybe, but I'll tell her more when I see her tomorrow night."

"You're actually going to see her." I could see in her eyes she wasn't joking. It was actually going to happen. "Oh well, I wonder what she'll have to say. Maybe this has all been a wild goose chase."

"You don't think that any more do you Bill"

"No, not really, but it is disturbing. Oh, I got the appointment for the biopsy Wednesday morning. Dr. Johanson had cancelled a trip, so the morning was open for it. It'll be outpatient at the Hospital."

"Do you need me to take you?"

"No, his secretary said I could drive both ways. They'll be able to do it with a local most likely. If not, they won't let me leave until they're sure I'm okay."

"Right then. Let me know when you're done, okay Bill?"

"Of course."

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To Be Continued… Did all of that really happen? What's going on in that tower? What will Becky learn tomorrow night? Is the biopsy going to reveal anything?
 
Author’s Note: Thanks for all of your comments! They really help me, and encourage me to keep going on this story.