In which Bill finds out some of what went on in his special classes, or does he?
Who Was I
By: Annette MacGregor
"Okay dad. That was some session. It started strange, and really got there."

"That's putting it mildly. Uh oh."

"What dad? That doesn't sound good over there."

"What do I tell your mom? She'll flip."

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Part 23   Monday morning (13-Nov-06)

In the last episode, Bill was about to go under for another memory search based on a picture his 3rd grade teacher had drawn.

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"Where are you?"

"I'm at our play table."

"And who're you with?"

"My friends Karen and Stacy"

"What are you doing?"

"We're talking about Karen's party."

"Tell us what was said."

It started with Stacy saying: "You've got to invite more kids to the party Karen?"

"Yea Stacy. Mom says it can't be just the three of us this year. She wants me to have a bigger party."

"Who're you going to invite" I asked.

"I dunno Leslie. I don't want those pigs." Karen said pointing at the dorks over in the corner.

"How many do you have to invite Karen?" Said Stacy, always the one to keep us on track.

"Besides us? I need 10 more, or mom'll be mad."

"Wow, 13 kids. That's a lucky number!"

I thought a minute and then said "Karen, how about you invite the ten other girls then there'll be 13 of us there." We all liked this idea and Karen agreed. It was going to be a fun party!

"Oh, there's Dr. Pfister. Time for more fun!"

"Good Afternoon Miss King. Time for the trio to come with me." We jumped up, and followed him out the door. Our lessons with him were always fun.

"Well children, today we'll see if we can find our pretend fortress again."

"Oooo. It's neat it's so tall." Said Karen.

"Yes, and you're each in your rooms and it's safe."

# - # - # - # - #

I was reeling a bit suddenly. "Ahhh” I groaned.

"Dad, are you okay?"

"Mr. Wyman?"

"Uhhhh. What happened?"

"Mr. Wyman, What do you remember?"

I started describing the classroom scene, and got to the counselor I froze. "Oh my goodness... It's him isn't it?"

"What do you mean Mr. Wyman? He's the one."

"He's, he's the guy that. I don't remember. But I did for a minute. Argh. Why can't I remember?"

"I'm sure we'll find out Mr. Wyman."

"Why did you pull me out? I'm sure we would have found something."

"Mr. Wyamn, from what you were describing, your teacher was talking you and your friends into the tower we've been running into when trying to get you to your safe spot. I suspect the work we did to make sure you got to the safe spot you specified also caused this reaction." She paused a minute before continuing. "So to answer your question, I believe you automatically went to your forest glade and fell out of the trance due to your subconscious being surprised at the suddenness of the transition."

I just shook my head a bit at that. "So that really happened?"

"Based on your reaction, it may well have. Is there any way you can confirm the first bit of the session?"

"I don't know. Right this minute no, because I don't know the other two any more. I don't really remember them, except the bit there you helped me remember, and what others have told me like my teacher. However, Becky's looking for them for me. So maybe if we find them we can see if they remember the party planning."

"Dad, what about those other memory issues we talked about before the session?"

"Oh yea. Dr. Wong, does that stuff fit in with what happened today?"

"Before I answer, can you perhaps go into more detail? Perhaps an example?"

"It seems to be centered on a few subjects, but as I focus on them, I don't forget again. An example. Hmmm. Well, we've only been able to come up with some topics, but Yes, that should be good. According to my yearbook those two friends, in the class with me, well the three of us were 1-2-3 graduating from High School together. I remember the graduation ceremony and giving my Salutatory address, but I don't remember them there. I also don't recall them being in classes with me, and they must have been."

"I'm afraid that ties in with what rest in what I was hoping was not what happened with you." That sounded really ominous. "It still doesn't make sense, but I'll tell you anyway. I'll also look for an alternate explanation. I just can't see doing that to a kid." She visibly shook herself at that. "Sorry, the idea bothers me. In any event, here's what accounts for what you've described, and what we've seen. First, you experience some form of trance working as an elementary school child, probably with your two friends. Second at some point you were probably conditioned to not recall what went on in the class or talk about it to others. Third, at some point, you apparently were conditioned to forget about the class with a conditioning that caused you to either avoid interaction with those in the class or to not recall the interaction after it was done. I can't imagine the first bit, but if it was done, the latter bits almost make sense."

I sat there stunned, while Ruth seemed more on the ball. "Dr. Wong, how doable is that? I thought conditioning took a lot of time, and physical stuff like sensory deprivation and the like."

"Miss Wyman, normally I'd agree with you, and for most adults that would be the case. I don't want to think that's what happened to your father either. But it's the only thing I can think of that covers all the data points that we currently have. As I said, I'll do a bit of research into this and see if I can find another answer, or how it might have been done. That still doesn't answer the why." She turned to me and continued. "Mr. Wyman, if you can contact those other two students and see what they can remember, it might be very helpful."

I shook myself and responded. "Um.. Yea. Okay doc, we'll see what we can do."

"Oh, Dr. Wyman, before we go, I was wondering if you had time to look at my outline and references for my class paper.

"I believe so, unless you dad has something else." She looked at me.

"Go ahead. I think I want to sit here and think about this for a bit."

"Okay, we'll just be over here so we don't disturb you." She indicated the other side of the reception area so I'd have a bit of space. This was a bit hard to take in. Could someone really have mucked with my brain? Who was I? Was I a person or just something put together? This was not what I wanted when I started looking for my missing years. Perhaps I'd have been better off never finding any of this. I sat there for a while with my mind running around in circles. I didn't even notice Ruth & Dr. Wong walk back up.

"Dad?"

"Wha. Oh Ruth. Are you done?"

"Dad, we've been standing here for almost two minutes. Are you okay?"

"I don't know Ruth. Who am I?"

"Dad? You're my dad of course."

"Ms. Wyman, what I think he is saying is this hypothesis of mine makes him think that he should have been someone else, and I suspect he's worried he may turn into someone else. Is that right Mr. Wyman?"

"Something like that I guess. If someone mucked around with me back then, I guess I'm wondering if I'm anyone, or just something made up."

"Mr. Wyman I want to first assure you that you ARE a person. What, if anything, was done back then in all likelihood reinforced most of what was already there. As to the blanking of memories, IF, and I stress the IF, they do all return, they will be just that, memories. They will not change who you are. You have what, forty years of life experience since the missed memories?" At my nod, she continued. "So you've established your personality. Adding the memories back in should not significantly change who you are. As you assimilate them, it's possible you might change how you look at some things."

"But, I might not be the person I was supposed to be."

"You are who you are. It's possible that IF something were done back then, it had an effect on your development, but we can't know that yet. And, if it did, you have developed. There's really no way for us to be able to really tell how you would have ended up based on that starting point. We can at most make guesses today."

"So, I won't suddenly find myself someone else?"

"No. If the memories end up being strong with a lot of emotion behind them, it may be more effort to assimilate them. And the effort could cause you to gradually change a little but I'd be surprised of the central bit that makes you, you would move."

"That sounds better."

"If you're still having issues dealing with the possibility, you should talk through it with someone. Either your family or Dr. Flynn, or both."

"Thanks Doctor. This is reassuring. I had pictures of Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde going through my mind." She laughed at that. "This sounds like it won't be like that, but the idea still bothers me."

"It should Mr. Wyman. I'm going to do some digging, to see if I can find anything about that teacher of yours. I've got the two references your daughter found as starting points."

# - # - # - # - #

"Ruth, would you mind driving? I'm still a bit shaky from that session."

"Okay dad. That was some session. It started strange, and really got there."

"That's putting it mildly. Uh oh."

"What dad? That doesn't sound good over there."

"What do I tell your mom? She'll flip."

"Well, she may at that dad, but she'd gotta know. You've always told me to keep to the truth. And leaving stuff out, that's just asking for trouble."

"I know kid. I taught you well. I think I'll just give her the bare bones this evening, and say I'll tell her more on Friday. That'll at least give me time to better understand what happened, I hope."

"You'll be OK dad!

# - # - # - # - #

That evening

"Well Bill, how'd it go this morning?"

"It was strange Becky."

She looked at me "How so Bill? I mean, stranger than some of the stuff we've already found. I find that a little hard to believe."

I guess she was referring to Aunt Rachel's revelations, and I can see that I guess. "Well maybe. We started with the picture from Ms. King. The one with me and two girls talking in third grade." She nodded, remembering the picture. Well, it seems we were discussing who to invite to one of the girl's birthday party."

"Nothing really unusual about that is there."

"It's not too bad, but what happened next was the strange part."

"Really?"

"Yea, the teacher for our special class came, and got us, and we went and started the class. And get this, it seems like he's the one that set up the stone tower! Well, assuming its real memories and not something my minds made up."

"Hmmm. Okay, where's the other shoe Bill?"

"Okay, you know me too well. Ruth brought up the selective memory gaps about the class and the two friends. When she did, Dr. Wong provided a hypothesis that explained it, but she said it's not likely and would look for some other, more reasonable explanation."

"Bill. Spill it! Quit beating around the bush." I heard the exasperation in her tone.

"Sorry, She said one explanation that fits the observed data is that the teacher did some sort of mind conditioning on me in the class." Becky inhaled at that, but I went on. "She'd like to talk to the two girls as well to see if possible, to confirm what I seem to remember."

"Bill, I feel you're leaving a bit out, but what you've told me, that's amazing. What happens when you get your memories back?"

"She said I'll still be the same person. But that bothers me a little. I'm scared of what remembering those summers will mean."

"Bill, we'll face it together. I believe you'll still be the man I married. Maybe even better!" She said with a smile. "You can tell me the rest of it on Friday. Bug me before if you need to talk."

"Thanks Becky, you can't imagine how much that means to me!"

"Oh Bill, I love you. Of course I'll be there. Just like you were there for me with the miscarriages. We'll work through this just like we did that."

With that, we hugged for a while and eventually got to sleep.

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To Be Continued… What happened in that class? Was there any tampering with Bill? If there was tampering, WHY? Will the two friends be found? Will they be of any help?
 
Author’s Note: Thanks for all of your comments! They really help me, and encourage me to keep going on this story.