The dance was in full swing when Ashley walked into the side entrance. The swish of the petticoat under her skirt was driving her mad. With every movement she knew she was a girl, the petticoat didn't let her think of herself in any other way.
Usually when she walked in to a dance she was all hip swinging ready to dance or host a show. Today she was almost shy in the way she moved. She didn't understand it, it was almost like the simple act of dressing more like a daddy's girl had changed the way she was and that was just not possible.
The hallway past the kitchen was really not that long, and yet it seemed to take forever for her to pass down it. All along the hallway was cables duct taped to the floor. If she had been wearing her regular heels she would have surely stumbled over one of them as they were not neatly done.
Even walking with the pom pom socks that gently tickled her feet let her know she was a girl. She knew she wasn't totally dressed as a fifties girl, mostly because her mother couldn't find the right bra in her size. She almost dreaded what the boys would have done if her breasts were in a conical shape. In a way she was glad as the thought of squeezing her breasts into such a garment would have probably been painful.
Ashley paused in her walk to the makeshift stage up ahead. Her breasts were not real! Why did she suddenly think it would be painful as if they were? It was just a lump of gel, foam and silicone. Same as her vagi gaff. And yet a part of her had assumed they were a real part of her. Perhaps she had been dressing as a girl far to much lately. She resolved to spend a few days as herself on her bike doing some laps, getting filthy and overall having fun.
The sudden longing to be flying overcame her and brought her to the edge of tears as she stood in the hallway till her mother came up behind her.
"Ashley is everything alright sweetie?" her mother asked from behind her. Turning around with her trademark smile on her face she beamed at her mother in hopes of covering up her internal turmoil.
"Just fine mummie!"
Her mother crouched down a bit to her height and put her hands on her shoulders.
"Are you sure your alright?"from the concern in her mothers eyes she knew she hadn't fooled her mother for a second.
"I... just need some Josh time after this." she said quietly. Well as quietly as she could with a loud band playing in the background.
"I understand."
"Really?" she asked with a puzzled look on her face.
"Well no. Not really understand but I can understand the need to get away and be yourself once and awhile."
"Uh..." she wasn't sure she understood that last one.
"Ready to put your best on for the crowd?" her mother asked one last time.
And she was. Ashley Bash stepped out of the hallway on a straight line for the stage in her fifties costume and the crowd of teens recognized her and her costume instantly. Tina was already on stage in her all black costume of tight black pants with two inch heels, a wide open neckline top with a lapel running along the edge of the wide deep V. Her blond hair was up in a mass of curls. The top wasn't an exact match for the Sandy look from Grease having no sleeves at all. But was fairly close.
As she looked over the crowd while stepping up the one step onto the stage she saw many different costumes. There was Sailor Moons, Black Widows, Pepper Potts, Harry Potters aka Hermine Granger outfits for girls, a couple she was sure were from the Twilight movies. Even one in a dress very much like what Jodie Foster wore in the Maverick Movie. All the girls wore either her star or Tina's fox. As she looked over the crowd she was sure that one or two of the girls were actually boys from her school.
There was princesses galore, cosplay anime characters, even one dressed as Ranma from Ranma 1/2 with half his hair done in Red while the other was black with one boob under his red Asian top. There was at least one Ironman which made her pang for her Ironman outfit at home. Two Thor's, a green lantern, Captain America and a set of kids done up as the fantastic four.
Really the small hall was actually quite packed. On the stage where she was, was a group of local musicians signing and playing fifties style music, much of it remixed to bring it to a modern age. The group of girls were something of a local cover band that had some fame lately. The one girl, called Sailor D, was a prodigy on a guitar. She acked to actually interview this group but, like any other reporter, she had no success in getting one. The group seemed to just appear and disappear. Indeed as Ashley looked on the girl with the pink guitar that glowed as she played had her eyes closed. You could tell the girl was lost to the music completely. Then again so was a few other members of the band.
The only one of the band that seemed more with it was the one belting out vocals. She was doing pretty good, especially when you consider that the songs she was singing were originally done by men. The rest of the band was doing fairly well however it was Sailor D that seemed to be leading them all on.
As soon as Ashley got up on the stage and faced the crowd a chant of "Ashley" went up to greet her causing her to blush. She gave a little finger wave to the crowd. She stepped up to the old fashioned square microphone. It took a minute or two before Sailor D realized she should stop which caused more than a few giggles.
"Thank you all for coming. Our little fundraiser for the Royal Canadian Legion is to help raise funds for our honored veterans." she blushed again for some reason before Tina took over explaining a little more about the history of the legion.
Usually they stayed on the stage instead of mingling with the crowd. However this crowd seemed a little more behaved and well she wanted to dance. Tina stood on the stage as Ashley stepped down and put her hand into the one veteran that had held out his hand to dance with her. The crowd gave her and the older gentleman dressed in his old uniform, probably from the Vietnam days, a wide open space on the floor. The Sailor Stars started up by playing Rock around the Clock. It was a fast tune and it took her concentration to follow the old man who seemed to know this song really well.
Her skirt flew up more than once but thankfully never exposing much. As she was dancing other couples joined in. Tina danced with another veteran, a younger one this time, and winked at her as she danced by. She even saw her mother come by once while she danced.
With the precedent set Ashley spent the rest of the night on the floor dancing away and overall enjoying herself. She never lacked for dance partners, indeed it was actually hard for her to stop dancing enough to get some punch.
Not all of the songs were oldies from the fifties. There was quite a few eighties songs. The Sailor Stars were really good overall and switched playing out only once to take a break. During that time they mingled a little with Tina while Ashley was dancing with one of the Thor's again.
The Thor in question was really a football captain from her, well his school. Mitchel Edwards was a local all star. He played on many of the school and local community teams even if he made it quite clear he was looking for a non athletic future. Most of the girls considered him the catch to land. Ashley had never really noticed but Mitchel was really well muscled. He usually hid them under hoodies similar to what Josh normally wore.
Inevitably, like most dances, a slow song came on. Mitchel was of course dancing with her as it changed. He pulled her in close for the dance. As he did so she felt safe in his arms. She didn't know why this was as she should be totally repulsed. As the dance went on she relaxed more and more and even put her head onto his shoulder.
By the end of the song she was so relaxed she almost felt comfortable enough to fall asleep where she was. Her eyes were closed as the song ended. She felt him gently, ever so gently, raise her head just a little and before she knew it she was being kissed. His warm lips felt so good on her lips.
Ashley's eyes flew open just as he finished kissing her. She raised her hands to her lips as the shock of what happened hit her.
"What have you done?" She cried into the sudden silence of the room.
"Well I gave you a kiss for being such a pretty dance partner as thanks." he said after a bit of squirming.
"Oh My God!" she cried before she had to run from the room past her startled mother. Ashley did not notice that tears were running down her face.
Mitchel was left standing in the middle of the room with quite a few people staring at him.
"What did I do?" he asked into the silence left by the girl he had just kissed.
With a shrug her mother followed her fast moving daughter past a very puzzled looking Alex who had just walked in the side door looking for all the while like a greaser.
In truth Alex had come trying to look like the Fonzy from Happy Days, a favorite program of his from years ago. What he did not expect to see was a daddy's girl from the fifties run past bawling her eyes out. It was only when he saw Tandy Appleton following behind the girl with a shrug for him that he realized that the girl was in fact Ashley. Tandy still looked so good to his eyes. But she was not available for another year.
When he turned around to watch the two he realized that he had not thought of Ashley as anything but a girl for some time. Shaking his head he wondered if he should maybe see a therapist.
Ashley was waiting by the focus unable to stop the tears from flowing as her mother caught up with her. At first Ashley just hugged herself before she turned and barreled into her mothers arms.
"Take me home." She said while buried into her mother's breasts.
Her mother hugged her daughter and looked back at the dance and then her watch. It was getting close to ten, past time for the usual hosting Ashley had done thus far. Still the dance was not over and it was a Friday night.
"Are you sure you don't want.." Tandy started to ask Ashley.
"NO! I just wanna go home. Please."
Her mother just nodded even though she couldn't see it.
The drive home was not long. Ashley couldn't quite seem to stop her sniffling. She knew her face was a mess but she really didn't care. As soon as the Focus had parked in the garage she quickly got out of the car and rushed inside up to her room. Once in her room she flopped down on her bed and bawled her eyes out.
Tandy followed her not too long after. If Ashley had looked up from her blanket she would have seen her mother stand in the doorway torn between comforting her daughter or son. Tandy knew in her heart that at that very moment the bawling girl was clearly her daughter. A daughter that should be her son but all she was a heart broken girl. Unable to make a decision she sat down beside her daughter and petted her hair.
After all no matter what this was her child. A child she loved with her whole heart.
Comments
"no matter what this was her child"
sniffle, sniffle.
I'm tearing up
Well spoken,well thought out
Well spoken,well thought out and well written....... Now, where do you go from here?
she may
get too deep in a part, it looks like the costume affects her moods.
good chapter, thanks
I am torn between this as a child exploring who he or she *is*
Or a *loving mother* who is so caught up in the fame her *daughter* has that she keeps breaking her promises to her SON and putting him deeper and deeper in the shit.
Her child is near breaking point and she can't even comfort him or her because she loves HER so much?!
AAAaaaaaah!
I realize this is BC and so many here see MtF as an ideal gift not a punishment.
But what if he was NOT gender confused before all this. And from the early tales HE was not.
This is like Stockholm Syndrome or The Manchurian Candidate in many ways.
Even IF she really is a girl in her heart this is a hell of a way to find out. She, if she is a she, is close to a mental breakdown.
And mom has gone so far as to hire a photo stand-in for her son to *protect* the secret of Ashley?
This is not some temporary thing as she promised at first but has become her child's *career*.
If I were her child I would destroy all the Ashley stuff so mom can't force her to do these stupid appearances again. I swear the mom is just about ready to justify slipping him blockers and female hormones to *help her child*.
This is tearing her child apart. This is not love anymore but delusions of love by her so called mother.
Plus isn't the mom's career now largely tied to Ashley promoting the radio station?
Remember Ashley was created as a TEMPORARY fix while Tina recovered from a broken limb and NOT this evolving, growing Ashley Bash/Tina juggernaut. Talk about a conflict of interest. Mom may say this is love but I smell the dollar signs in her subconscious.
Ka CHING!
There my EVIL RANT TM is over.
Hey somebody has to play Devil's Advocate .
John in Wauwatosa
P.S. GOOD stuff tels
John in Wauwatosa
lol
I always enjoy your comments so... lively.
THanks.
The Maestra is back!
With another AshBash story! Run with it, girl - as far or farther than you did with Belle!
Thank you! Hugs - **Sigh**
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell
I largely agree with John
At this point the mother has crossed over the line. She is no longer helping her son, but pushing him further along this path. He doesn't seem to have been gender controlled, but is acting that way more and more to please his mother. At least in this story, you seem to accept a lot of plasticity in people's views of themselves, and it feels like you're having the mother push Alex in the direction of femininity in order to increase his fame.
I like the story, and am curious which way you'll go next. I think there will be dramatic developments. Alex will either become Ashley, or revolt. Either will probably be a big event.
Titania
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
uhm
you mean Joshua don't you?
Alex is Tanya's boss, Ashley's too come to think of it.
Yes, sorry.
Of course, I meant Joshua, just got it confused when writing the message. Thanks.
Titania
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Oh lookie here, Jaci's at it again......
Yea! Poor Josh has been playing the part of Ashley for sooo long, that he's forgetting who's real. In all actuality both are real and that's what's scaring the hell out of him. Ashley was supposed to be only for a short time, but is turning into a monster and nobody seems to care that Joshua ever existed. (Slurrrp! Ahh!). Jaci dear thanks for writing another episode, but I think Josh needs some "Joshua" time to figure this out. I think the fact that as Ashley he let a boy kiss him and he was actually liking it at first really scared the crap out of him! (Munch munch), Jaci dear have some popcorn and get tap tap tapping on barbie pwease. Nice chapter! Loving Hugs, Popcorn Lady
Inner conflict
What Josh / Ashley needs isn't so much weekly hourly sessions with a therapist, but a therapist-on-call, who can talk to the conflicted child when needed, gently tease out all his conflicting thoughts and emotions, and help plot a path forward.
Ashley has increasingly become all-consuming, but like Pandora's box, it's far too late to close the proverbial lid. Regardless of when the next school holiday is, mum and son could really do with a week or two away, preferably well outside the broadcast range of the station, to bond and enjoy activities before returning to the madness of Ashley's life.
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!