Previously…

‘I’m not being daft. Look, Auntie Abby didn’t…I mean she’s lovely and everything and so are you and the children and Samantha, but I don’t want to sponge off anyone. I’m nearly sixteen and I was only going to ask her if she would let me stay until my birthday and then I could get a job and be independent and not have to worry about being let down by anyone or losing them like I lost my mum and dad…’

Of course, I started crying again and couldn’t finish what I started to say.

How could I explain that anyone and everyone that I had loved had gone away or had turned against me? I didn’t want the pain of any more rejection. I thought that John loved me, but he didn’t and I did not want to go through any more pain and suffering.

I found myself, face down on the pillow and somehow realised that I was alone. Maybe, Hannah was fed up with my being a cry-baby or she just didn’t like me and couldn’t wait to get away from me…

I felt the gentle touch of a hand on my shoulder. I turned over and looked up through tear stained eyes.

‘Oh Amy, come here love.’

And now the story continues…

‘I’m sorry, Auntie Abby, I’m being an ungrateful cow. I..I’ve just had so many things go wrong in my life and I don’t want to have another disappointment.’

She looked at me, her eyes full of sadness.

‘I know that you’ve had it really rough. Losing both your parents and finding out the one person who agreed to look after and care for you is a scumbag. Well you are here now. You have to look forward and not back. I know that you don’t trust anything or anyone at the moment and I don’t blame you. But at some stage you will have to trust people and I hope that it’s us that you chose. We might all be slightly loopy around here, but our heart is in the right place and that’s important.

‘You have only been here a few days and you don’t really know us. Although I’m the closest relative that you have, we haven’t been in contact so I’m just like a stranger to you. What I can say is that you have a home here as long as you want. We will never ask you to leave, even if you turn out to be one of those terrible teen’s we read about.’

I giggled through my tears at that.

‘W…will you let me live as a girl?’

‘Of course; you are one aren’t you?’

I nodded.

‘Well looking as you do and dressed like that, I would have been surprised if you were anything other than a girl. Now, down to practicalities. I know that you have only a few clothes to wear, so we will do a bit of Boxing Day bargain shopping tomorrow and get you some nice things to wear.’

‘But the cost…’

‘Stuff the cost.’

‘But I don’t want charity.’

‘It isn’t charity. As far as I am concerned, the minute that sod, John laid hands on you, he abrogated his responsibilities for you. So, I am the nearest thing you have to a parent. I know that you are fifteen and on your birthday, you have more options, but for now, I’ll look after you. If you want to stay after your birthday, you will be welcome to stay until you draw your pension.’

I smiled at that. I was hearing things that sounded so nice that I had a glimmer of hope that my bad fortune might have changed.

‘So none of this charity nonsense. You are part of this family and we will pay for anything that you need. We are not poor, in fact we have enough money to pay for anything you might need without even causing a ripple.’

‘Thank you.’ I said quietly.

‘No problem; now back to practicalities. After lunch we will be going to Lady Fairbairn’s little shack. She is a stickler for correct dress for the occasion, so we need to sort you out with a posh frock. Hannah is about your size, so we can ask her if you can wear one of hers.’

‘Will Lady Fairbairn mind my erm, being different?’

She laughed.

‘You haven’t been here long have you? This place is full of “different” people and Dotty is more different than most. What she doesn’t like is falseness, cruelty, lies and deceit. Also, she does not suffer fools gladly, as a number of people can testify. She couldn’t care less if you are straight, bi, TG, what colour you are or anything else. To her, it’s what is in the heart and soul that matters and she will defend anyone who needs help and deserves it.’

‘Oh,’ I said, ‘so she is Penmarris’s sort of fairy godmother?’

She laughed.

‘Don’t say that to her face, but I think that she is. Now is there anything else that is worrying you?’

I thought for a moment, there was something…

‘Erm, my step brothers.’

‘What about them?’

“I don’t like them and they have been cruel to me, but I wonder if they are like that because of the influence of their father.’

‘Probably, some say the kids are a reflection of their parents and that is certainly true of you. You are as kind, nice and caring as both your parents were. They would be proud of you.’

I felt myself go red but ploughed on.

‘I’m worried that they might be in danger because of John. In the pottery you could see what sort of person he’s like. He might take out his frustrations on them.’

‘It’s possible that he might turn nasty with them, judging by his current behaviour. I have told the police about John and his assault on you. I also told them that you have to step brothers. I happen to know that it is an automatic procedure that any siblings of someone accused of child cruelty are flagged up and referred to the social services. `if you want, I will contact someone I know in the SS and ask them to find out if anything is being done. What are their names?’

‘George and Robert, they are twins.’

‘And you say their mother isn’t around?’

‘No John and her divorced and there hasn’t been any contact for quite a while.’

‘Mmm, strange that. Anyway, I will make a few enquiries and then get back to you.’

She got up.

‘Right, I’m going downstairs to help Sam get dinner ready. It’s mainly all done, but I feel guilty if I don’t give a hand. You stay up here and have a rest. You have had a bit of a rough time over the last few days and haven’t quite shaken off your bug yet. I’ll send Hannah up later, when dinner is ready. I hope that you like turkey and all the trimmings?’

‘Mmm, yes. Mum made a lovely Christmas dinner…’

‘Well, I’m not sure that we can attain your mum’s obvious culinary expertise, but we will do our best. See you later, get some shut eye as I think that we won’t be going to bed until late tonight.’

She kissed me on the cheek and left me to my thoughts.

Lots of things were running through my head as I lay there on the bed staring at the ceiling.

All the tears that I had shed, left me kind of emotionally drained. I never used to be this emotional. I had always bottled all my feelings up and I was sure that that wasn’t good for me.

I hoped sincerely that I would never see John again but knew realistically that I hadn’t seen the back of him. It was still a mystery to me why he was so keen to have me in his clutches. For some time now he had shown no love or affection for me, in fact he seemed to hate me for who I am - a girl. All right, I wasn’t physically one yet, but for most of my life I had been a girl and I had thought that he understood that and supported me, otherwise, why did he marry my mum?

I shut my eyes as I had a slight headache — probably a tension one. The bed was realty comfortable and I was nice and warm due to the log fire crackling in the grate. It didn’t take long for me to relax and fall asleep.

~*~

‘Come on Amy, it’s dinner time.’

I opened my eyes and for a moment I wondered where I was and then it all came rushing back. After rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I looked up and there was Hannah, grinning at me.

‘Come on, sleepyhead, I’m starving and we can’t start without you.’

I found myself being dragged downstairs, through the kitchen and into what, I understood, was called the breakfast room. Everyone was there, Auntie Abby, Samantha, Heather, Gabrielle and a couple of cats.

The table was festively decorated with a red, green and gold table cloth, a centre runner of gold cloth and as a centrepiece there was an antique brass candelabra with red and gold candles with sprigs of holly and red berry garlands. Each place had a Christmas cracker and red napkins rolled up in what looked like shiny brass rings.

It was all magical and I just loved it, but not as much as I loved the greetings I received from everyone. I felt so at home and wanted, something that I hadn't experienced for some time. I had been welcomed with open arms and just then, it occurred to me that maybe I had now turned a corner and my life might just start to get a little better.

I won’t go through a blow-by-blow account of the excellent meal. I will gloss over the fact that Heather decided that it was a good idea to start throwing her food around a bit and Gabi with perfect timing was sick all down her pretty dress and had to have an emergency clothendectomy…

I just had a great time and enjoyed myself immensely. By the time we had consumed the Christmas pudding, I was as fat as a beached whale, or it felt that way, anyway.

The adults, Hannah and I all sort of collapsed in the sitting room, after the meal. Heather and Gabi were having a nap and we just took the opportunity to chill out a bit.

All too soon, it started to get dark outside and it started gently snowing again. We watched the Queen on TV and then Scrooge, the old one with Alistair Sim. It was originally in black and white but this had been colourised.

After the film, the girls seemed to do a synchronised waking up and it was time to get ready to go out. The snow had stopped luckily. Although it’s nice to look at, snow is not much fun if you need to use a car to get out and about. It turned out that Lady Fairbairn’s place was a bit too far to walk, so we would have to drive.

Hannah took me up to her room and we had a lengthy discussion as to what we should wear, bearing in mind, that it was supposed to be sort of formal.

In the end it was decided that I would wear a sky blue dress in satin and chiffon that went just above my knee, it was truly scrumptious and floated down around me when I tried it on for size. It came with a matching chiffon shrug and sky blue patent shoes all of which made me feel like a princess once I finished dressing.

Hannah had chosen a LBD that was, to say the least, a bit on the short side. I wondered if it might not receive parental support, but surprisingly, it passed inspection.

I had time for a quick shower and hair wash, not that I had much hair now. Once I had dried myself off, I put on my training bra, panties and shear tights and then went over to my case where my meagre supply of makeup was stored. I was quite good at putting on makeup and had been taught by my mum, who had a great eye and steady hand.

Mum always said that if you had good skin (which evidently I do have), then less is more and I had always remembered that. The best look was the one where it almost didn’t appear to have makeup on. I know that some girls of my age plaster makeup on almost with a trowel and go totally over the top. That wasn’t for me and after a thin layer of foundation, blusher, eyeliner, mascara and eye shadow; I applied some bubble gum pink lip gloss which tasted like yummy strawberries.

Once I was totally satisfied with my looks, I went over to my dress and stepped into it. With a certain amount of double-jointed contortions, I managed to do the zip up the back. Then I carefully put on the shrug.

The next thing to do was to put my special locket with it's fine gold chain around my neck. I opened the locket and looked at the small photo of my mum and dad. I so much hope that they were looking down on me and approved of me. I clicked the locket shut and then went over to the wig stand and put my wig cap on, being carful to tuck in the stray hairs and then I placed the wig carefully on my head.

After brushing my wig out, I put my shoes on and then had a quick spritz of perfume, walking through the fine spray.

It was only once I had completely finished getting ready that I had a good look at myself in the long mirror on the wardrobe.

My reflection showed a quite pretty girl, regretfully of about thirteen. I just wished that I looked my age. Then I smiled ruefully, knowing for a fact that when I was an ancient forty, I would wish to look twenty!

I sighed and then noticed that my lipstick was slightly wobbly, so I did some emergency repairs. A few seconds later, there was a knock at my door.

‘Come in,’ I called.

The door opened and Auntie Abby stepped in. she looked wonderful in a silver silk, calf length dress that made her look rather glamorous.

‘You look lovely! She said smiling.

‘So do you.’ I replied.

‘Oh, this old thing,’ she said airily.

“If it’s that old, why is there a price ticket on the back?’

‘What!’

She feverishly felt for the label and then I couldn’t keep a straight face and just giggled behind my hand.

‘You!’ she said smiling, ‘I’ll get you back for that, young lady.’

I giggled and then grabbed my coat and bag.

We were still smiling as we went downstairs to the others who were waiting for us, already in coats and in the case of the little ones, scarves, hats and gloves.

‘Wowie!’ said Hannah.

Whoopiedo,’ said Samantha.

‘Pity desses,’ said a pointing Heather.

‘Ugg, ugg, google, burp,’ said Gaby through her dummy.

My aunt and I did a reasonable impression of a curtsy and then we all laughed.

We were ready to go.

~*~

We made away out to the garage. There were four cars parked, two in the garage and two outside. One of the nerdy, non-girlie hangovers from my boy side was knowing what car was what. I could see in the garage a Porche 911 Turbo S Cabriolet, which just happened to have a top speed of nearly 200 mph and 0 to 62 in a spine crushing 3.4 seconds. Next to that stood a sedate (not) bright red BMW 5 series ActiveHybrid. Then just in front, I had to look twice as there was a car that you don’t see much of now days - a yellow 2CV. I would have liked have a bit of a chat about the cars, but we went over to the final car which was a brand new Land Rover Discovery 2- 4wd, which was a seven seater and very practical for a large family, especially on winter roads like ours.

We all piled in and I was privileged to sit in the front passenger seat as Sam and Hannah helped the girls into their child seats.

I tried to count up how much the combined price of all these cars were and we were talking well into the six figures here.

I know that Auntie and Samantha was well off, but I think that she might have been modest about that!

Anyway, I had no more thoughts of the current wealth of the family as Auntie started the car and we were off.

We made our way out of the drive and then proceeded down to the quay, which now that it was dark, looked even more Christmassy, if that was possible. It was lovely to see the gaily painted houses and cottages bestrewn (if that was the word) with twinkling lights.

The quay was brightly lit and there were people milling about. Even the ice rink had a few hardy souls on it and I wondered how it was that on Christmas Evening that it was in operation. Mind you, Penmarris didn’t seem to be the same as any other place I had ever been too, so I shouldn’t have been surprised. Over to the side, there were several children having a snowball fight and a couple of enterprising kids were building the largest snowman that I had ever seen.

‘Shouldn’t they all be inside in the warm?’ I asked my aunt.

‘They will later, but it’s one of the traditions, if you like, that people come down to the quay for a while in the early evening and meet friends. Also all that activity helps the big Christmas dinner go down.’

Soon we were leaving the bright lights of the sea front and heading up another hill. As we left the village the houses grew further apart and seemed to get bigger. Eventually we went through some imposing gates and heading up a well-lit, tree lined drive.

Many of the trees, borders and flowerbeds were floodlit and it added to the beauty of the gardens. To the side was a lake and beyond that a fantastic, stepped waterfall that had hidden coloured lights on the steps, making the water look colourful and alive.

We went around a wide sweeping bend and there it was. This was what my aunt called a shack…

It was at least a mansion with pretensions to be a palace. It was the sort of place that Cinders went to the ball at. It was like almost everywhere else, floodlit. As was the tall fountain, shooting up water to the stars in the large circular ornamental pond.

The parkland behind the fountain looked strangely pockmarked with many small hills of earth and I wondered if those infamous moles had caused those blots on the landscape.

I didn’t have much more time to think as the great doors opened and a man stepped out and came over to the door. He looked quite business like in a suit.

He opened the nearside rear door and said ‘Merry Christmas ladies.’

‘Thanks Mr Jenkins,’ said Samantha.

‘Please, just Jenkins Miss.’

‘We want to call him Roy, but he won’t let us,’ whispered my aunt in my ear, it’s against the code of the Butlers Society or something.’

There was a certain amount of mayhem and confusion as the girls were extracted from their seats and then, eventually, we made our way inside.

There were butlery and servant types inside, taking coats. As Sam took her coat off, I could see that she had chosen a white dress with a festive red sash. She looked breathtakingly beautiful and I felt rather jealous, but in a good way.

The little ones both had pretty red velvet party dresses with lace collars and cuffs that actually matched. They looked very huggable.

The hallway was a big as the ground floor of my house in Reading; it was "spacious" as they say in estate agent circles. The hallway was dominated by a huge Christmas tree bedecked (if that is the right word) with tinsel, lights and colourful baubles.

Above that was an impressively large chandelier that must have been hell to clean.

I didn’t have much more time to think as there was a shout.

‘Hey, you’re here!’

A girl about our age came running in and skidded to a stop.

She looked at Hannah and Hannah looked at her.

They were dressed identically, down to the ribbon in their ponytails.

We all burst out laughing and Heather clapped.

It was a set up.

‘Mummy is going to be mad,’ said Sarah, for that was who it was.

‘Will she!’ said a disembodied voice floating down from upstairs.

The staff had mysteriously disappeared.

She came down the stairs, her long, heavy satin dress held with one hand and her other one on the ornate, gilded banister.

She made it to the bottom of the staircase and then went over to Samantha and Auntie Abby whom she embraced. She then turned to the little ones, who rather than be frightened of her, went all giggly as she gave them pecks on the cheek.

She then turned to me.

‘Amy; thank you for coming dear.’

‘Thank you for having me.’

‘So polite and such a devine voice. You must sing for us later.’

‘Must I?’ I said.

‘Yes,’ she said firmly and then she turned to the two peas in the pod that were Hannah and Sarah.

‘Hmm, so you thought that you might have a laugh at my expense?’

The girls stayed mute — probably a good idea in the circs.

She shook her head.

‘Girls, now days, don’t know what it’s about. Yer think that you can shock me? when I was your age, I was told off for dancing naked in the fountain after drinkin’ nearly a full bottle of champers with a prince who will be nameless. I would have been sent to the Tower of London if it weren’t for the queen’s timely intervention. Contrary ter popular belief, she has a strong sense of humour, unlike that bloody prime minister who needs ter sit on the occasional whoopee cushion ter give the man a sense of balance…’

There was a delicate and discrete cough. We all turned and Jenkins was there.

‘Tea is served.’

Following Lady Fairbairn and Samantha, we all trouped in with Hannah and Sarah taking up the rear and holding the little ones at the same time as talking nineteen to the dozen and giggling.

My hand was clamped on my auntie’s arm. To be honest Lady F scared the hell out of me and I didn’t want to be shot down in flames for saying something out of turn!

~*~

Tea was an informal occasion evidently. We all sat at a large oval table slightly smaller than the Wembley football pitch. The table was covered with enough food to feed a small nation. A bevy of servant types dished things out and, despite the fact that we had eaten a ginormous meal at lunch time, the assembled throng fell onto the nibbles like a swarm of rather hungry locusts. I noticed over by the fireplace a rather large dog who looked a bit fed up as it lay there looking pathetically hungry.

I felt a bit sorry for the dog.

‘Auntie,;

‘Yes dear?’

‘That dog looks unhappy.’

‘Oh, that’s Fifi, she’s in the dog house.’

‘Why?’

‘She pinched a ham from the kitchen when cook wasn’t looking.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yes, she ate the lot and then was promptly sick all over the parquet flooring and an expensive Chinese rug, it was evidently a pressie from the Shah of somewhere or other.’

‘Gosh.’

‘As you say gosh. Anyway, the vet decided that she should be on a strict diet and that means she not a very happy doggie.’

The meal went on its inevitable way and we were, after a bit, well and truly stuffed, as Sarah eloquently put it.

We adjourned to the drawing room, although I couldn’t see any drawings, just a load of paintings of long dead ancestors. Still it was comfy and bestrewn (if that’s the word) with a large number of deep leather armchairs and sofas. I just hoped that the cows died happy…

After letting the food go down a bit, the little ones were allowed to play or in the case of Gabi, attempt to crawl over the floor and try to smash as many priceless ornaments as possible. Soon though, it was obvious that they were getting ratty, as young kids specialise in doing when they are tired. It was decided that they would be put down for the night and it was only then that I found out that we were all staying for the night.

The room emptied as my aunt and Sam went to put the sprogettes down and Hannah went with Sarah somewhere or other. I think that this was all pre-planned and I had some naughty thoughts about being set up.

I had been left with the Marchioness of Hell.

~*~

She was finishing a cup of tea, little pinkie sticking out at attention. The dog, known as Fifi was by her side, sitting to attention.

The servant type people had left The Presence and I was left to the tender mercies of The Lady Fairbairn.

She placed the cup on the saucer and the tinkling sound echoed around the high ceilinged room.

Standing up. She went over to a corner where a chesterfield sofa stood and then she erm, sat down.

She looked at me still sitting at the table and I was somehow, anyhow, wishing that the ground would open up so that I could be swallowed whole.

I jumped as she spoke.

‘Come here child.’

I felt a bit like someone about to walk the plank or maybe climbing the steps to the scaffold (did I say that I had a bit of an imagination?) as I got up and walked over to her.

She patted the cow bound seat and I sat next to her. Fifi had somehow raised an eyebrow and seemed to look at me disapprovingly, although it might have just been indigestion.

Then she spoke.

‘Amy, I haven’t had much time ter greet yer. With a daughter like Sarah, I find that my mind is kept somewhat busy. She is a trial, but somehow, God forgive me, I love her. Then there are the moles…but enough of my troubles. How are you?’

‘F…fine thank you My Lady.’

‘None of that nonsense, call me erm, Auntie Dotty, if you like. Now, tell me what brings yer ter to our neck of the woods? I must warn yer, that I have heard a bit about it but I want ter hear it from yer own lips.’

I took a deep breath and told her all that had happened.

Of course, I got upset as the wounds were still very fresh but I managed, with the help of a few tissues and ‘there, there, there’s,’ from Lady…I mean Auntie Dotty, to get my sorry story out.

She didn’t say much for a moment, but I realised that she had been holding my hand for sometime and that was somehow rather comforting.

She cleared her throat.

‘Well, you have been hard done by and this John character aught to be hung, drawn and quartered. I have a little influence with the powers that be and I will make sure that this matter is investigated and the man prosecuted with the full force of the law. The local police are fine in their way, but they are somewhat limited in intelligence, as most men are. It is up to us women to sort things out and make sure that justice is done.’

‘Thank you,’ I said, not knowing what else to say after such a sweeping statement, dismissing the intelligence of half the people on the planet, as she had just done.

‘Don’t mention it. You are Abby’s niece and as such, I consider you to be family. If yer need any help, let me know. You are always welcome here and yer can treat the place as home. I like young things around me as it makes me feel younger myself; although I have more than a few grey hairs due to havin’ Sarah around all the time. I had considered finishin’ school in Switzerland, but wouldn’t like to be responsible for an international incident if I unleashed her on an unsuspectin’ country.’

Just then there was a knock on the door and I jumped as she bellowed, ‘come in damn yer.’

I found her to be a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde character and I leave it to you to decide which one I preferred.

The door opened and everyone streamed in. It had been pretty obvious at the less than subtle exit stage left of all the main characters, that I had been left alone for an audience with She Who Must Be Obeyed. Now the audience was over and normal festivities could resume.

However, I wasn’t frightened of Lady Fairbairn or Auntie Dotty anymore because I realised, as other must have before me, that she might be a hard boiled sweet, but she had a rather nice soft center.

The rest of the evening went like a dream and I let what hair I had down, lost my shyness and really enjoyed myself.

The evening culminated with a carol singsong around the Steinway grand piano.

Most of the singers were in harmony, except for Sarah who was tone deaf. She did try. As her mother told that she was very trying sometimes!

Finally, after a swig of under age eggnog, I was persuaded to do a solo.

Samantha was a fine pianist and she accompanied me when I sang the all time favourite Silent Night.

As usual when I sung, my inhibitions went out of the window and as Fifi dreamed in front of the fire and snow started to fall gently outside, covering the mole holes, all be it temporarily, I started to sing:
 
 

Silent night, Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in Heavenly peace
Sleep in Heavenly peace...
 
 

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

To be continued…