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Viewing Note: This story should be viewed with the Edwardian Script ITC font installed on your Windows platform in the c:/Windows/Fonts directory. Microsoft Word installs this font automatically.

Editor's Note: Jenny Walker has graciously allowed me to represent her original story No Half Measures on BigCloset. Originally published on BigCloset Classic, this story segment was not migrated over to BigCloset TopShelf. This story segment first appeared on BigCloset Classic on Sunday, January 04, 2004 - 03:26 AM. Due to the original story presentation format being unsuitable and unwieldy for most portable devices (each part being over 1 meg in length), the story is now being broken up into single chapters for easier reading. The original Movements will be indicated on their respective chapters. The first chapter of each Movement will retain the original comments and read hits so as to preserve them for the author.

Sephrena Lynn Miller

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Chapter 47
 
 
He grinned shyly at me. "Hey you," he said softly.

I was almost annoyed at the way my body betrayed me: I felt myself flush and my pulse quicken at the sound of his voice.

"What are you doing here?" I repeated.

He shrugged. "I came to see you. Can I come in?"

I was so flustered by this unexpected turn of events that I didn't know what to do or say. "Uhh… yes, of course."

I opened the door, he followed me in and set his suitcase down. He stood just inside the doorway and smiled at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're looking great."

I inclined my head. "I feel great." It was true — with the exercise of skiing and the fresh outdoor air, I felt healthier than I had for a long time. "Whereas you? You look exhausted, Jon."

He grinned. "Yeah, I've been travelling all day."

"How long were you waiting there for me?"

"About three hours or so."

"Jon! You must be freezing. Let me get the kettle on. You must be starving too…"

"Cara, no," he gently interrupted.

I turned back to face him with the confusion evident on my face. "But…"

He shook his head. "All that can wait. There's something that can't wait."

"I don't understand…"

He pointed to the sofa. "Can we talk?"

He took his coat off and I did likewise. After lighting the gas fire and slipping off my boots, I joined him on the sofa. I had this horrible feeling that he had come all this way to apologise for the situation I had found him in. I had purposefully wanted to avoid such an encounter and that was why I had gone to great lengths to keep my whereabouts a secret. How had he found out? I had been trying to put Jon out of my mind for weeks and the last thing I needed was for him to bring all the buried pain to the surface again.

He was sitting and staring at me in silence. I said, "You wanted to talk?"

He nodded thoughtfully and then sat forward. "Cara, when we last saw each other, you told me something very important." He paused. "Do you still love me?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn't sure I could handle a post mortem of my feelings or explain how hard it had been to try to get over them.

"Jon, I don't think there's any point going over old…"

I stopped with shock as he leant forward and gently kissed me fully on the lips. After about ten seconds, he broke the kiss and sat back. He looked at me with a strange intensity in his eyes.

"Jon, I… I don't understand." I raised my hand involuntarily to my lips. Again my body had betrayed me: the rush of adrenaline that had immediately coursed through my body at his touch was unbelievable. I was almost shaking.

He smiled. "Cara, I love you so much that it scares me witless."

I blinked several times and wondered if I had heard him correctly. My breathing became irregular and I suddenly felt very warm. "What? What did you say?" I asked, not wanting to believe it yet.

He smiled gently and slowly pulled me closer to him until his arm was around my shoulders. "I'm head over heels in love with you. I've never felt this way before."

I looked up at him with a mixture of confusion and anticipation. I was about to ask one of the million questions that had poured into my mind when he gently placed his finger on my lips. "Shush… please answer me one question before I say anything more. Do you still love me?"

The answer that I had been trying to instil within myself got thrown out the window forever as I looked into his piercing blue eyes. "Yes, Jon," I said in a croaky voice. "I love you."

His eyes closed momentarily and a blissful smile appeared on his face. "Thank God," he murmured. He lowered his lips to mine again and they barely brushed together yet it felt like thousands of volts of electricity were coursing between us.

We held that position for a few minutes, neither of us seeming to want to move. Eventually, Jon lifted his head and tenderly stroked my cheek.

"I don't understand…" I began hesitantly.

Jon smiled. "I think we both have a lot of explaining to do. Probably more so on my side. Shall I go first?"

I nodded and couldn't tear my eyes from his face. I curled my legs up underneath myself and leaned up against him as his arm pulled me closer.

He took a deep breath. "I'm going to start right from the beginning and tell you everything. No more secrets, no more pretence." He looked down at me. "When I first met you, as Cara, I was blown away. I've always liked pretty girls, but, when I first saw you, there was something more. There was this shy, vulnerable appearance that you projected. I can now understand why, but I found it incredibly attractive. Then, when you started to play and sing, I couldn't believe my luck. Here was this lovely girl who played great music and who had a killer voice. I mean, I'm talking my dream girl here."

I laughed and gently slapped a hand against his chest. "Jon!" I protested with embarrassment.

He shook his head. "No, I mean it. Perhaps now you can now understand the intensity of my reaction when I… realised who you were." He sighed. "I felt stupid, deluded and… disappointed." He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "I was determined to have nothing to do with your band."

"What made you change your mind?" I asked softly.

He smiled. "You did. That next day when I met you in town for coffee, I was all set to tell you that I didn't want to be a part of it. When I saw you again, I changed my mind. I don't know why, but I knew that I wanted to spend time with you. Oh, I pretended to myself that it was just the music. I couldn't admit to it being anything else. You know that I was awkward around you for quite a while, but then we just seemed to get to know each other better and it was like becoming friends again. I was trying to deny this deep attraction that I had for you as I couldn't deal with it, but the more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to be with you."

"I had no idea," I murmured.

He shrugged. "I wasn't exactly broadcasting it. So I thought anyway, but then the guys, Brian in particular, kept telling me how good you and I would be together. He kept asking if I felt anything for you. I kept denying it, but I knew that he wasn't buying it." He sighed. "So, I thought I'd try and show them - and myself - that there was nothing doing."

"Tanya?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I liked the girl and I knew that she had been keen on me for a while. I figured that I'd give it a go and see what happened." He paused again. "There was no spark though. I enjoyed her company, but she didn't set my world on fire. Do you want to know the best night I had while going out with Tanya?"

I screwed my face up. "I'm not sure I want to hear details of what you two…"

He shook his head and interrupted. "It was the night you and I went to the 'Stealing Time' concert."

My eyes widened and I murmured, "Oh…"

He grinned. "Yeah, I knew things weren't right between me and Tanya and it sort of came to a head that night when Noel… you know. I told her that I wasn't going to Paris, as I had to make sure you were going to be alright. She probably knew what I was feeling better than I did. She told me to stay with you, as you were obviously the one I wanted. I told myself she was just being jealous."

He didn't speak for a few seconds and I eventually prompted. "And?"

He looked back down at me. "Can you bear to hear me talk about Yosemite?"

I nodded. "I have to hear it."

He smiled. "Those two days we spent together, until… well until you know what, they were two of the best days I've ever had. I really enjoyed myself and being with you just felt right. I had no idea what you thought or felt, but I was just happy to enjoy myself. That day hiking to Sentinel Dome was fantastic. There I was with, in my opinion, the prettiest girl in the country and we seemed to be getting on great. I just forgot about…" He shrugged. "Anyway, I loved the closeness of carrying you after you hurt your ankle…"

"And looking down the front of my blouse at my breasts," I interrupted with a twinkle in my eye.

He laughed and blushed. "I still can't believe that you noticed. Well, yes, that too — it just felt so intimate. Then, when we ended up in the room together and you came out of the bathroom, I thought you looked so beautiful, so perfect… I couldn't stop myself from kissing you. I don't know if you felt it, but when we kissed… I can't describe the feeling."

"I felt it too," I said softly.

He nodded and then looked away. "Then I had to go and spoil it. I started thinking and my mind told me that I couldn't do what I was doing… and it all went wrong. I'm so sorry, Cara."

"It was a long time ago."

"I lay awake most of that night and felt like the most miserable creature on earth. This beautiful woman that I had such feelings for was lying there crying herself to sleep because of my stupid hang-ups. I decided to set things right the next morning. When I woke, you weren't there. I was so exhausted when I eventually did get to sleep, that I hadn't heard you get up. When you came to breakfast, I was going to tell you…"

"Tell me what?" I asked with a feeling of dread in my stomach.

"I was going to tell you that I had been wrong and that I thought I loved you. I was going to tell you that I couldn't get my mind round everything at that point, but that was the way I felt."

"Heavens above," I said. "Then I had to go and put my foot in it."

He inclined his head. "After what you said, I thought that maybe I had read too much into it. After all, it had been an emotional situation. So I just tried to put it behind me." He stroked my cheek again. "I'm presuming - with what you told me a few weeks back - that the words you said over that breakfast time weren't quite correct?"

I groaned. "Jon, they couldn't have been further from the truth."

"I've done a lot of talking. Do you want to tell me some of your side now?"

I nodded and thought for a moment after beginning. "Back at the start, I didn't have any strong feelings for you; I just wanted you in the band. I can't really pinpoint a moment when I realised that I had these feelings — they just sort of crept up on me and before I knew it, I was falling for you. Others noticed it too: Jools and Laura. Laura made me admit that I was attracted to you and I think she and Brian were both trying to play cupid with us. I kept trying to deny what I was feeling as I knew there was no future in it. I thought that there was no way you would feel the same for me." I smiled bashfully. "However, I was gutted when you told me about Tanya."

"What about Yosemite from your point of view?" he prompted gently.

I smiled. "Jon, I don't think I've ever been as happy as I was during those two days we spent together. Well, maybe until now…" I grinned and bit my lip as I felt myself redden. His hand was gently brushing my hair back from my face and it was all I could do to concentrate on keeping my train of thought from derailing.

"Where was I? Oh yes, Yosemite. I loved it. I really did. I have to admit I was overjoyed when I realised that it was just going to be you and me away together. I don't know what I thought was going to happen, but it wasn't about thinking too much, it was about feeling — and it felt good. Hurting my ankle was strangely one of the best things that happened. I loved how it felt when you held me close… and when you carried me. I didn't fake it, but with hindsight, if I hadn't hurt my ankle, it would have been worth faking it!"

He laughed and teased, "I did wonder if you were putting it on, but I figured that even you weren't clever enough to make your ankle swell by itself."

I grinned up at him and then got serious again. "When you kissed me…" I paused for a few moments and took a deep breath. I looked away and murmured, "I couldn't believe how it felt. I didn't know I could feel so… excited?" I hesitated. "I was hurt by what you said, but when I thought about it, I was probably also annoyed with myself. How could I think you would want me? Who did I think I was fooling?"

"Cara, I'm so sorry…"

I shook my head. "No, we were both to blame. To think that I concocted that cock and bull story about it not meaning anything and trying to pass it off as us acting irresponsibly in the heat of the moment? When the truth was that I knew I was falling in love with you. If only I'd let you speak first…"

He shrugged. "You weren't to know. I'd given you every indication that I didn't want you."

We sat there without speaking for a few minutes. The only sound was the gentle hissing of the gas fire. He pulled me closer to him and kissed the top of my head. "I'll go on, shall I?" he asked.

I nodded and snuggled in close.

"I felt miserable after the trip. I really did. I knew I had to try and get over it and put you out of my mind, but it wasn't that easy. I mean, every time we played 'Forgotten How to Love' I kept asking myself why you had written that song at that time. I wondered if was about me, then told myself to stop being so stupid."

"It was about you," I confessed. "Of course it was about you. So was 'Simply Say' by the way."

That surprised him and he smiled. "Really? You wrote that about me?"

I smiled shyly and nodded. "Yeah, although I probably pretended to myself that it wasn't about you."

He grinned at me for a few moments before continuing, "Anyway, I was trying to get you out of my head without much success. Then I met Simone." He winced. "Not one of my better ideas. I was so messed up. When I told you about her, on the roof of the Sony building, I was so hoping that you'd be annoyed, that you'd give me some sign that you had feelings for me."

I sighed. "We've been fools. I felt like dying when you told me, but what could I do? I couldn't tell you how I felt as I thought you would think I was repulsive or something for thinking you would be interested in me."

He squeezed me tight and in a voice that sounded pained said, "I could never find you repulsive."

I swallowed hard and felt a solitary tear escape my eye. Jon noticed and tenderly wiped it away with his hand. I found my composure. "I was to blame too. I was telling myself that I wanted to get past you and get on with things. That was supposedly my reasoning for going out with Charlie. I did like him and did enjoy his company, but deep down I knew that I didn't feel for him… what I felt for you." I paused. "You had every right to be annoyed with me. I thought you believed that it was sick that there was me, given who I was, hooking up with your cousin."

Jon laughed softly. "It wasn't that — it was jealousy, pure and simple. At your Christmas party when I saw him kiss you after I had kissed Simone, I just wished that it was you I was kissing. I know I probably sounded like an ignorant oaf when I confronted you about it in America."

I grinned ruefully. "And I was a total bitch to you."

We both paused for a moment.

"When you were kidnapped…" he began hesitantly. He shuddered. "It was like my world was falling in. The thought of anything bad happening to you made me realise that there was no way I was going to get over you. I didn't sleep a wink until I knew you were safe. If I could have, I would have torn the head off anyone who tried to hurt you." He sighed. "Then when you were back home, I kept waiting to see if there was any possibility of trying to tell you how I felt. I knew that you needed time to get over all that had happened. Then Jools told me to give you space and I thought that it was your way of letting me know that you didn't want me around."

"Oh no," I exclaimed. "I needed the time to finally admit to myself how much I felt for you and to decide what to do about it."

He shrugged. "I had no idea. I didn't even know that you and Charlie had broken up until after you came by my place that night. For all I knew, you two were getting along like a house on fire."

"That night…" I began sombrely.

"Yeah," he interrupted. "I could have killed myself." He paused and rubbed his eyes hard. "I was such a fool." He shook his head. "You have to understand that I thought there was no hope for us and I felt as if I was dying inside. You have to believe me when I tell you this next part." He sat there and chewed his lip, looking miserable.

I looked up at him with concern. I raised a hand up and gently stroked his cheek. "Tell me."

He blinked a few times and looked down at me. "I… I was really messed up. I met this girl in a bar, I met her just that night and I invited her back to my place. It was nothing; it was pitiful. I was just trying to prove to myself that I could still feel… that I was still alive…"

I looked away. "You slept with her." I felt hollow inside.

"No!" he exclaimed strongly. He gently lifted my face to look at him. "No," he said more softly. With pain in his voice he continued, "You have to believe me when I tell you this. I did not sleep with her." He grimaced, "I probably would have if you hadn't called round when you did." He sighed. "I haven't slept with a woman since… since I met you." He shrugged. "I just haven't wanted to. When you arrived at my door, I had a bad feeling. When you told me that you loved me, I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. Here was the girl I loved telling me that she was in love with me and didn't I have some tramp in my bedroom?"

He shook his head sadly. "I ran out into the street after you and chased your car until I couldn't run any further. When I got back to my house, the girl had left." He took a deep breath. "I called at your house the next morning, but Gareth said you had gone away. I called everyone: Jools, Claire, Laura, Sony — anyone I could think of. No one seemed to know where you were. I thought maybe you had gone away for a while to get over things… but the weeks passed." He closed his eyes. "I felt like giving up on everything."

I pulled his hand to my mouth and kissed it gently. "I'm sorry, Jon, I'm so sorry. When I saw her in your flat… in your bedroom… I thought I was a stupid half-girl who had delusions that she could be loved…"

He turned my face to his and kissed me with passion. When he broke the kiss I gasped for air. "What…?"

He looked deep into my eyes. "You are not any sort of half-girl. Don't ever say that. Yes, I've been a fool and I couldn't seem to get over my stupid hang-ups, but I have now. I'm not going to pretend that I definitely won't ever have any difficulties, but one thing I know is that I love you and I want to be with you… always."

I couldn't hold it back any longer and I felt tears roll down my face. "Oh Jon, I love you so much…"

We kissed again and I slid round onto his lap so that I was facing him. I have no idea how long we kissed. Months of denied passion were bursting forth between us. I began to unbutton his shirt and gently kiss his wonderful strong chest. I felt his hand tentatively slide up my leg and I smiled at him encouragingly. His hand began to caress my backside and I kissed his neck, sliding the shirt from his shoulders.

He slowly raised his hand to my breasts and raised an eyebrow questioningly. I bit my lip and smiled. I nodded to him and he tenderly stroked them. I closed my eyes and revelled in the sensations that he was causing within me. He slowly began to unbutton my blouse and I nodded for him to continue. I slipped it off and smiled shyly as he looked at me.

He took a deep breath. "You're beautiful."

"Take my bra off… if you want," I said bashfully.

"Do I want?" he asked with a smile. He reached round behind me and had difficulty unclasping it.

"You're out of practice," I said teasingly as I reached round myself.

"I plan to get a lot more soon," he said with a grin.

I unclasped my bra and let it fall from my shoulders. His breathing was deep and slow as my breasts came free from the cups. His hand was shaking as he lifted it to gently caress my bosom. I closed my eyes and it took all my self-control to keep me from moaning at his touch.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this," he said softly.

I grinned. "Probably for as long as I've been wanting you to do it."

He laughed and leant forward and began to plant kisses on my breasts. I grabbed his head and cradled it in my hands, pulling him closer into my bosom. When I felt his tongue begin to encircle my engorged nipples, I let out a little squeal. I pulled his face from my cleavage and began to kiss him forcefully. Our tongues entwined together as we explored each other's mouths. We broke for air and Jon smiled at me and then dropped his eyes from my gaze.

"What is it?" I asked breathlessly.

He looked back up at me. "Can I take you to the… bedroom?"

I bit my lip and then nodded hurriedly. He picked me up in his arms and I pointed towards the master bedroom. He carried me in, kissing me as he did so, and gently deposited me on the bed. He slowly began to roll down my tights and then unbuttoned my skirt and slid it off me. I suddenly realised that I hadn't told him about my reason for being in America. Perhaps he had been told, but surely he would have mentioned it. I didn't want to shock him like that so I sat up and unbuttoned his jeans and urged him to slide them off. I pushed him down on the bed and eyed the noticeable bulge in his shorts.

"Is that for me?" I asked with a coy grin.

"Completely," he said, mirroring my grin.

I lowered my hand and gently caressed him through his shorts. I saw him bite his lip. I slipped my hand into his waistband and began to slide the shorts down. He grabbed my hand. "You don't have to do this if you…"

"I want to," I interrupted before he could finish. "You have no idea how much I want to."

He smiled and let go of my hand. I slid his shorts off and looked at him with awe. I gently began to touch him and from the sounds he was making, I knew that I was having some effect on him. I felt my love for him welling up inside me and my desire was driving me to do what I did next. I lowered my head and kissed his manhood.

"Cara," he said in a ragged voice, "I don't want you to do anything you don't want t…uhhhhhh."

His voice trailed off as I slipped my mouth over his hardness and gently began to pleasure him. I was moved by my love for him and my desire to please him and before long, he was driven over the edge and he cried out as he came.

I tenderly cleaned him up and then slid up to lie beside him. He looked over at me with the most intense look I have ever seen. "God, how I love you," he said breathlessly. "I hope that wasn't…"

"It was incredible," I said. "I wanted to do it and it won't be the last time."

It was like I had jolted him with a cattle prod as he jumped at my words. He gently rolled me onto my back and he sat up. He pushed the hair back from my face. "You have gorgeous hair," he murmured. "Your face is so beautiful and your lips so kissable." He traced his hand along my neck and stroked my breasts. "Your breasts are just awesome."

I grinned shyly. "You don't think they're too big?"

He laughed softly and raised an eyebrow. "Do you hear me complaining?" He shook his head and traced his hand lower. He tweaked my belly bar and smiled with a twinkle in his eye.

"You don't like it?" I asked. "I can take it out…"

"I love it," he said. "I think it is very sexy."

I smiled and shyly asked. "You think I'm sexy?"

He chuckled and tenderly kissed me full on the lips. "Do you even have to ask?" He kissed me again. "I couldn't imagine finding anyone as sexy as you, lover." He looked down at my flat crotch and smiled lovingly at me. "Cara, I want to take off your panties and I want you to remove your chastity belt."

"Jon, I…"

"Shush," he said gently. "I can handle this. I can."

"No, Jon, you don't understand. I'm not wearing my chastity belt."

His eyebrows shot upwards and he looked at me questioningly and then looked again at my flat crotch. I was about to try to explain but he just put a finger to my mouth and then he slowly slid my panties from me. When he saw what lay beneath his mouth dropped open and he just sat there staring.

"I was trying to tell you…"

"That's why you came to America," he said in a dazed-sounding voice.

"Yes." I looked at him as he sat there almost dumbstruck. "I hope… I hope… this doesn't change things…"

He looked down at me and blinked. He smiled. "Change things? Of course it does." When he saw my worried expression he quickly added, "For the better of course."

He lay down beside me and took my face in his hands. "Cara, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and I was going to take you as you were. I had no idea…" He sighed. "But this… this is incredible. You're sure about what you've done?"

I laughed. "It's a little late now to ask that." I paused and looked at him fondly. "Yes, I'm sure. I did this for me. I know who I am and this was the logical step. It was for my own benefit." I paused and grinned. "Although, I'm happy if you also happen to benefit from it."

His face broke into a grin and he laughed as he kissed me on the nose. He stared into my eyes. "Cara, can I… touch you?"

I smiled nervously and nodded. "Yes, I'd like that, but I'm not ready for… you know."

He nodded. "I understand."

He lay beside me and I felt his hand slowly slide over my stomach and move lower down. I gasped as he touched me for the first time. He moistened his fingers in his mouth and then gently began to caress me.

"Is that OK?" he asked gently.

"Oh, yes," I murmured.

He continued to lovingly stroke me and then began to probe a little deeper. Up until that time, I had found the sensations associated with the necessary dilations to be quite unpleasant. This was different. This was the touch of my lover.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked tentatively and I knew what he was asking.

"P-please do," I stammered.

He slid down and lowered his head to plant kisses along my inner thighs. When I felt his tongue begin to explore my new womanhood, I gasped aloud and he stopped. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, no, no!" I exclaimed.

He grinned and continued to softly lick and kiss me. The feelings were indescribable. I'm not saying that I was able to climax, but I hadn't had such stimulation for a long time. Perhaps ever.

After a while, I pulled his head up gently. "I'm not going to make it this time, lover," I said softly.

He grinned and slid up my body, planting kisses all the way up to my face. "Practice will make perfect," he said with a wink. He shivered. "It's cold in here, isn't it?"

I smiled. "Yes, and you look tired." I paused. "What do you say to getting under the covers and snuggling together? Maybe get some sleep?"

He smiled dreamily. "Sounds like a wonderful idea."

We shimmied under the covers and lay there in each other's arms contentedly.

"I can't believe this is really happening," I murmured.

"Believe it, my darling," he said softly as he gently kissed the top of my head. "I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep. Having you beside me is just so perfect."

Of course, given his exhaustion, he was asleep within minutes. I didn't mind. I smiled to myself, as I lay there in the darkness, his arms holding me close.
 

*          *          *
 
I woke first the next morning and initially panicked that it had all been a glorious dream. The gentle sounds of Jon's breathing assured me that it was for real. I looked over at him as he slept peacefully and I couldn't get the smile from my face.

'He loves me,' I thought.

Trying not to wake him, I gently slipped out of bed and pulled on my dressing gown. I slid my feet into my slippers and crept out of the room. I figured that he would be hungry when he woke up. I had no idea when he had last eaten and, with events having overtaken us the previous night, I guess food hadn't seemed that important.

I took some bacon from the fridge and started to fry it up. I was beginning to scramble some eggs when I felt strong arms slide around my waist and lips kissing the back of my neck. I squirmed and smiled. "Jon, that tickles."

He whirled me around and kissed me firmly on the lips. He grinned. "I don't know what's better. Waking up to a sight as beautiful as you, or a smell like that bacon."

I laughed and gently poked him. "Hey!"

He grinned and tenderly kissed me again. "Forget that. Stuff the bacon and come back to bed with me."

I chuckled and fought him off. "Now, now. I'm sure you're starving. When did you last eat?"

He shrugged. "I have no idea what time it is, what day it is and I'm not exactly sure where I am. Yeah, I am rather hungry though."

I was hungry too and we both tucked into a hearty breakfast.

"Any regrets?" I cautiously asked when we were finished.

He smiled and grabbed my hand. "Only that we didn't get together sooner."

I grinned. "We've been fools for months."

"Doesn't matter now," he said. "We're together and that's the way I plan on keeping it."

I looked into his eyes. "You mean that?" I said breathlessly.

He gave a half-smile. "Cara, I already know that I can't live without you. I'll be with you for as long as you'll have me."

I couldn't keep the Cheshire Cat grin from my face. "You'd better plan on being around a long time then, mister."

He leant across the table and gently kissed me.

I knew there was something I had to tell him. "Jon… about last night?"

"Yes?"

"I know that we were quite intimate…"

"I'd say!" he said with a smile.

I smiled nervously. "I've been thinking about a lot of things recently and I don't want you to take this the wrong way."

He moved round beside me and put his arm around me. "What is it, Cara?"

I looked up at him shyly. "I've been changing a lot recently and one of the things that has changed in my life is the way that I want to live it." I went on to tell him the full story about my kidnapping, how I had prayed, and the way that things had worked out. I told him about my conversation with Nathan.

"You see, the thing is," I continued, "I had sort of decided that I was going to do things right. I know we were very intimate last night… but I would like to wait before being intimate again — and I'm not making any presumptions here — but I want to wait until it's definite and final that I'm with the one and only…" My voice trailed off. "If you know what I mean."

He smiled at me and I felt disconcerted. "What is it?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I understand totally. Believe me, I do. I'll not lie and pretend that I don't want you in that way, because I do. I'll wait 'til hell freezes over for you, Cara."

I laughed. "I'm glad to see that you haven't lost all your good lines." I became serious again and stroked his cheek. "Thanks for understanding."

He looked at me closely. "I hope you didn't do anything you didn't want to do last night. Or anything you weren't comfortable with?"

I shook my head. "No, I wanted to and we had to. We had to both know that we could be with one another… in that way - if we're going to have a future."

He smiled and gently kissed me on the lips. "So I guess that means I'll have to wait before being able to fulfil one of my greatest dreams."

"What's that?" I asked suspiciously.

He chuckled. "Showering with you and soaping up your wonderful body."

"Jon Peters!" I gasped and I felt myself blush. Inwardly I tried to quell the arousal that his words provoked.
 

*          *          *
 
After we got dressed — Jon having diplomatically moved into the spare bedroom — we sat snuggling together on the sofa. It wasn't the passionate encounter of the previous night, but no less enjoyable.

"Tell me," I said suddenly, "how did you know where I was?"

He grinned. "Ah, indeed. The billion dollar question." He looked at me dreamily and smiled. "I followed my heart and it led me to you."

I giggled and tickled him. "Come on, tell me."

"OK, OK," he laughed. "No one seemed to know where you had gone. I had thought that Claire might have. She was my best bet, but she denied all knowledge."

"She was lying," I interjected.

"I know that now. I was going crazy, and then Jools said that she had finally had a call from you. She wasn't able to persuade you to tell her where you were…"

"Jools knew how you felt about me?"

"I told her everything when I couldn't find out where you were. I figured she did know, but wasn't telling me. I thought if she knew why I wanted to know that she would spill the beans. Anyway, you didn't tell her, but you did tell her who did know."

"Claire and Dad."

"Yeah, I phoned Claire again and asked her outright. I told her that I knew that she knew, but she wouldn't tell me. You'd told her about what had happened that night when you called at my place, so understandably she was reluctant to help me. I told her how I felt about you and she hesitated, but still refused to tell."

"So?"

He smiled ruefully. "She said that if I really wanted to know, I would have to talk to your father."

"Wow! And did you?"

He grinned. "I drove straight up to Cardiff and waited for your father to come home from work."

"You didn't!"

"I sure did. I didn't care what I had to do, but I knew I had to find you."

"What did he say?"

"He wasn't too thrilled to see me. Again I presumed this was after hearing about your meeting with me."

"Yeah, sorry. I may have given him a somewhat biased account."

"No matter, it was understandable. So I told him how I felt about you, and I explained all the things that had led up to it. Pretty much what I told you last night."

"You told my father all that?"

"Sure, I did, and more! It was the only way to convince him that I was serious."

"And he told you?"

"He did. He also said that if I did anything to hurt you, he'd teach me new levels of pain that I couldn't even begin to comprehend."

I laughed. "He did not!" The thought of my father making such threats was hard to believe. "I guess he's become quite protective of me."

"Not half. He adores you, you know."

I grinned. "I know."

"He's not the only one, you know."

I laughed. "Are you fishing for affection?"

"Anyone biting?"

I giggled, leant over and began to nibble his neck. He squirmed and wriggled and then managed to turn my face around to his. He kissed me softly.

"I've never felt like this about anyone before. It really almost scares me," he admitted.

I looked at him with love in my eyes. "I know - the feelings I've felt since last night… I feel as if I'll never be able to show you how much I love you."

"We've got the rest of our lives to try." He looked out of the window where the light was beginning to fade. "Even if we haven't got much of this day left."

I suddenly jumped to my feet. "My goodness, I forgot." We had got up so late and had spent so much time in each other's arms talking together that time had passed me by. The others would have realised that I wasn't hitting the slopes that day, but we would usually meet up in 'Mountain Java' afterwards no matter what.

"What's wrong?" Jon asked with concern.

"I've got to meet my friends in the village."

"What friends?"

I briefly filled him in on how I had met the Scots and what I'd been doing the previous few days.

"Come on," I said as I pulled on my coat. "I want to introduce them to my new boyfriend." I winked.

He laughed. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do!"
 

*          *          *
 
They were sitting at our usual table when we entered. I saw their heads turning when they noticed who was with me. I was holding Jon's hand and we walked over to them.

"Hi, everyone," I said brightly.

They greeted us with smiles that barely concealed the questions that they had for me.

"Err… everyone - this is Jon."

They knew who he was, but Kirsty spoke up. "Is that Jon your guitarist, Nicola?"

I grinned like the cat that had got the cream. "No, it's actually Jon, my boyfriend."

I heard Jon make a noise that sounded like he had choked on his tongue, but he coughed and cleared his throat. "Hi everybody," he said with obvious embarrassment.

Kirsty grinned slyly at me. "And you said there was nothing going on between you two."

I shrugged. "Things change… for the better."

I looked up at Jon expectantly and he laughed before lowering his face to give me a quick kiss.

We sat down and ordered our coffees. Although Jon was initially a bit overwhelmed, he soon began to relax and join in the conversation. I leant over to Craig and murmured, "Sorry, Craig."

He chuckled and shrugged. "If you ever get fed up with him, give me a call."

I grinned and shook my head. "Don't sit by the phone."

Robert was asking Jon if he had ever skied. He hadn't and didn't seem too enthusiastic about starting.

"Oh come on, Jon," I said. "I was reluctant at first, but it is an amazing feeling."

We eventually persuaded him to join us the next day. With this in mind, Jon and I hurried to get to the shops before they closed. I helped him pick out a jacket, ski trousers, and all the gear. We walked along Main Street, hand-in-hand, Jon carrying our bags.

I sighed contentedly.

"What are you thinking about?" Jon asked.

"How perfect it feels to be with you. Sorry if that sounds soppy."

He chuckled. "Say anything more like that and I'll show you soppy."

"Why, what will you do?"

He grinned. "I'll drop these bags right here on the pavement and give you a kiss that will make your knees buckle."

"You wouldn't!"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Try me."

I did. "I want to feel your arms holding me forever…"

He called my bluff and I think we attracted quite a few stares from our fellow shoppers. I didn't care.
 

*          *          *
 
"What do you want me to call you?" Jon asked over breakfast the next morning.

I grinned. "Well, I had been toying with 'sex kitten', but I guess darling or sweetheart would do."

He chuckled. "Sex kitten, it is then. No, I mean do you want me to call you Cara or Nicola? The others in the café yesterday were calling you Nicola."

I shrugged. "I don't really mind. I guess I'm sort of trying to separate out my private and my public life. You belong to both."

"Can I call you Nicola?"

I smiled. "Sure, you can."

We headed out onto the slopes after breakfast and I watched Jon go through the pain and agony that I had endured on my first day skiing. He was athletic and in good shape so it didn't take him too long to pick up the basics. By the third day, he was practically as good as I was and was just about managing the intermediate slopes. I was happy to stick at that level and had no delusions of winning any downhill slaloms in the near future.

It was wonderful to sit on the ski lift, my head leaning against his shoulder and to look down on the beautiful world below.

"Isn't life great?" he mused.

I grinned. "I don't think it could get any better."

He chuckled enigmatically. "Oh I think it could."

"What do you mean?"

He wouldn't answer.
 

*          *          *
 
We took a day off from skiing the next day and, after each hiring a pair of sturdy hiking boots, set off to explore some recommended walks at the base of the peaks. We didn't walk that fast as we strolled along, arm-in-arm. Plus there were many breaks to enjoy the views. Most of the views being that of each other's face close-up as we kissed!

We came to a clearing in the woods and there was a frozen lake in the middle. A little open-sided wooden hut stood at the edge of the lake. We stood in the hut and gazed at the lovely scene. I noticed Jon shifting awkwardly where he stood.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," he grunted as he reached inside his pocket.

"What are you doing?"

He grinned and took my face in his hands before planting a kiss on my lips.

"Before your father would tell me where you were, I had to tell him something else that I wanted. Something I want more than anything. Something I haven't told you yet."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He smiled at me and dropped to one knee. He opened his hand to reveal a ring. He looked up at me and with a look of longing in his eyes said, "Nicola, will you marry me?"

---