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Viewing Note: This story should be viewed with the Edwardian Script ITC font installed on your Windows platform in the c:/Windows/Fonts directory. Microsoft Word installs this font automatically.

Editor's Note: Jenny Walker has graciously allowed me to represent her original story No Half Measures on BigCloset. Originally published on BigCloset Classic, this story was migrated over to BigCloset TopShelf on 2005-02-02. Due to the original story presentation format being unsuitable and unwieldy for most portable devices (each part being over 1 meg in length), the story is now being broken up into single chapters for easier reading. The original Movements will be indicated on their respective chapters. The first chapter of each Movement will retain the original comments and read hits so as to preserve them for the author.

Sephrena Lynn Miller

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Chapter 3
 
 
Saturday morning started out as a crisp, clear late autumn day: frost on the ground and pale sunshine with a clear blue sky. We were on the road by just after 9 am as we had about a 5 hour journey ahead of us. Julie drove a 5 series BMW. She said it wasn't for the status, but more because it was to appease client expectations, give them confidence or something. Sure Jools.

We had managed to fit in all my music equipment and Jools' suitcases. Rather disconcertingly we hadn't packed any clothes or belongings for me. I understood why, but it sort of brought the finality of things home to me. At least with it being a Saturday the hateful London traffic was less than usual. It was never absent, but relatively speaking, the roads were quiet. Before long we were outside the perimeter of the M25 and heading down the A30 dual carriageway. We hadn't talked much so far as we were both still in the process of waking up completely.

"So have you decided yet?" Jools asked.

"Huh?" I replied intelligently.

"A name," she said in a tone that indicated that I should obviously have known what she was asking me.

"Yes," I said a little hesitantly.

"Well?" she said impatiently, "Don't keep me in suspense."

I shrugged somewhat shyly, "Well I don't know if you'll like it or not..."

"Pfffft!" she said, or something that sounded like that, "It's more important that you like it, now come on, out with it."

"OK," I sighed, "it's Cara Malone."

She smiled, "Cara Malone?" She pondered and nodded slowly before repeating, "Cara Malone. I like it."

I looked over at her uncertainly, "You sure?"

"Definitely, it's classy, feminine and distinctive. Where did you get that from?"

I laughed a little, "To be honest, I don't really know. I've just been thinking about it over and over the past few days and when I woke up yesterday morning, it sort of just popped into my head. I liked it."

"Alright, Cara, we have a name then."

I felt myself blush a little as she called me by the new name. "That feels so strange," I murmured.

She giggled, "I thought it might, but seriously, from now on you have to be so conditioned to respond to Cara that you don't think about it. And the reverse: you don't respond to Nick."

I nodded. Of course she was right. As the journey progressed we chatted about this and that. Reminiscences, friends, music. She continued to refer to me as Cara as much as she could and after a while I didn't feel just so uncomfortable with it. I think I would have found it easier if, well if I looked more like a Cara. But I guessed that would come before much longer.

We stopped for coffee just outside Salisbury and again for lunch on the far side of Exeter. I didn't have much of an appetite. Excitement or nerves? I wasn't quite sure which. We had about another hour to drive.

"OK, the list," Jools said.

I grinned. She had this habit of talking as if I really should know what she meant when I had no clue. "The list?" I asked.

"Yes. The list of who knows."

"Of who knows?"

She sighed, "Yes c'mon Cara, keep with it. The list of people who know about you."

I think I caught her drift, "Ah I see. Well it's you and me isn't it."

She nodded, "Yes. I think we need to guard the list carefully."

I puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"I think we need to think very seriously before ever adding anyone to the list. And no-one gets added to the list without us discussing it and agreeing on it. You agree?"

"I guess," I replied, "But who else are we ever going to add to the list?" As I asked it, I realised some of the answers and continued, "Oh right. Like my folks and so on." I grimaced.

"Yes, but we can cross those bridges if and when we come to them. However there is one person I want to add to the list a lot sooner than that. In fact very soon."

I was intrigued, "How soon? And who?"

"Well," she checked the time, "In about 45 minutes. And it's Beth, my sister."

"Beth," I said slowly and thoughtfully. Beth Carstairs was Julie's younger sister. Two years younger if I remembered correctly which put her about 25 years old. I had met her once or twice when she was up visiting Jools in London but didn't really know her at all.

"Umm why do we have to add her? Does she live at your parents' home?"

"Well, yes she does, but that's only one of the reasons we should add her," Jools replied. She went on to ask, "Do you know what Beth does?"

I racked my brain. I may have been told before but couldn't remember. "No sorry, I can't remember."

Jools looked over at me and gave me one of those smiles which always made me nervous. "Well Cara, she sort of runs her own business in Plymouth."

I knew she was dragging this out but I played along, "What's her business?"

"She owns a salon."

"A salon?" I asked, "What sort of salon?" I had a fair idea and knew where this was likely to be heading.

"She runs a beauty salon. And she's pretty darned good at it too."

If she was anything like as determined as her older sister, I could well believe that. "I see," I replied.

"You do?" Jools asked.

I nodded, "Well, I need to become Cara in many ways. And I imagine Beth has certain...skills, which would be helpful to that end."

She grinned at me, "You're very understanding. But you are right and I think Beth will be invaluable to us. Err, you know how I said earlier about us discussing and agreeing together before adding someone else to the list?" She sounded a little tentative.

"You've already told Beth," I said matter-of-factly.

"Yes," she replied guiltily. "Are you annoyed?"

I shrugged. I wasn't so why pretend to be. "No, it's fine." I looked at her watching me worriedly so I smiled, "It's fine, really."

She smiled looking somewhat relieved. "It's just I had to tell her in advance to make sure she can help this afternoon."

"Go on," I said, "this afternoon?"

"Yes, I figured that we shouldn't delay your 'conversion' into Cara. Minimise the chances of anyone down here seeing you as you are now. No point wasting time, we may as well get on with it. So anyways, the salon closes at lunchtime on Saturdays but Beth is going to stay behind and meet us there. There'll be no-one else there and she can work her magic on you. I've got her to get a few things that we will need."

I just smiled, "Jools, it's as well I trust you and I'm glad you are my friend. I sure wouldn't want you for an enemy."

I think she almost blushed which would be a first, "Oh you," she said dismissively and returned her full attention to the road ahead. We were nearing the outskirts of Plymouth and I felt the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach grow stronger the closer we got.
 

*          *          *
 
"La Belle Femme" was on a relatively quiet side-street off Mayflower Street in Plymouth town centre. Jools pulled up right outside and illegally parked.

"Can you leave the car here?" I asked.

"Not really," she grinned, "but I won't be leaving it too long so it'll be Ok."

"You aren't?" I puzzled, "I thought we would be here for some time?"

She laughed, "Oh you and Beth will be, but I was going to head out to Silsbury Manor and get some things unpacked."

"Silsbury manor," I pondered, "that's your parents' home?"

She nodded and I raised my eyebrows wondering what to expect. But then I refocused, "Hold on, so you are leaving me here alone with Beth?"

She looked at me with a little smile, "She won't bite you know."

I shrugged awkwardly, "I know, but well it's just sort of weird enough let alone being with someone I don't know while undergoing..." I searched for words, "well my transformation."

Julie squeezed my arm, "Trust me, you'll get on fine with Beth. Plus I think it will be good for you two to get to know each other. Beth will be helping us a fair bit over the next few weeks."

I sighed and grinned ruefully, "Alright, guess I'll have to trust you. Yet again."

We got out of the car and Jools knocked on the door of the salon. The blinds were down but it wasn't long before the door opened and there was Beth. She gave Jools a big hug, "Heya big sis, good to see you."

"You too," laughed Jools returning the hug.

We stepped inside and Beth turned to me and a little shyly said, "Hi, you must be Nick." She went as if to shake my hand but then shrugged and reached up and gave me a little hug.

Jools grinned, and looking at me said, "Oh it's not Nick anymore, sure it's not?"

I grimaced a little but forced a faint smile and turned to Beth, "No it's not Nick anymore, I'm...Cara Malone."

She smirked, not unpleasantly, "Well hi Cara, it's great to meet you. Jools has filled me in on most of the details and I think you're extremely brave to give this a go."

I half-laughed, half-snorted, "Or maybe it's extremely foolish I'm not quite sure."

I noticed Beth staring at me, she seemed to be appraising me, "Oh I don't know," she mused, "I'd say you have great potential."

I blushed and didn't quite know what to say and thankfully Jools stepped in, "Right, how about getting things kicked off, there's lots to do."

"Yes you're right," Beth said. "Alright Ni...Cara, do you want to pop into this cubicle here and change out of these boring clothes and put on the items you'll find in there?"

I figured the question was rhetorical so I just smiled and nodded before heading into the cubicle. I wasn't sure what I would find there, but it was just a simple white robe. Oh and then I noticed the skimpy black nylon panties on the chair. Well, I thought to myself, this is what I'm here for. So I pulled off my shoes, socks, T-shirt, jeans and boxer shorts. I slipped on the panties and again noted to myself the lack of unpleasant sensations on doing so. I think that was as much as I could bring myself to admit at the moment. I wrapped the robe around me. It came to around my knees. I gathered up my clothes in my arms and stepped outside.

Jools smiled at me, "Want me to take those?" she offered.

"Err OK," I replied, "what are you going to do with them?"

She smiled gently at me, "What do you think I should do with them, Cara?"

I swallowed and then nodded, "I guess you should just get rid of them somewhere." I paused, "I'll not be needing them again I guess."

She smiled and gave me a little peck on the cheek as she took the clothes from me, "I'll see you both later and I think you'll be looking quite different Cara by the time I get back." She headed for the door and turning to Beth before she left, "Give me a ring on my mobile when you are nearly done and I'll scoot back over. Have fun you girls!"

She went out, got back into her car and drove off. I looked at Beth and she smiled at me. "Are you ready?" she asked gently. I grinned and nodded, "As ready as I'll ever be I guess."

She grinned back, "OK, well first things first. Body hair. Or rather getting rid of it more like."

I smiled wryly, "Shouldn't be too big a job, I'm not exactly what you'd call the hairiest."

She nodded, "Good, but we still need to get things right, from now on it's hairlessness we need. What I was planning was to do a full all-over body wax if that's Ok."

I shrugged, "Erm I guess. I'm thinking it will be painful, but you know best."

She nodded and smiled apologetically, "It will be painful, I am afraid, but it will give good lasting results. Far better than shaving, and actually less longterm skin irritation compared with most depilatory preparations."

"Ok then," I said trying to sound brave, "Let's get started."

She brought me over to a couch, "Now Cara, you'll need to remove your robe for this."

I nodded and removed the robe feeling more than a little embarrassed as I climbed up onto the couch. She began with my legs and spread hot wax onto the front surfaces of them. It actually felt quite nice and soothing. That was until she started to strip the wax off. It felt like she was tearing my skin off. It brought tears to my eyes and took all my self-control to stop myself from crying out or reaching down to stop her.

She smiled up at me sympathetically but carried on as quickly as she could. Then she had me roll over and repeated the process on the backs of my legs. When she finished that, it felt as if my legs were on fire. But there was more to come. The same procedure was repeated on my arms. She took a razor to my armpits as she explained that waxing would be too painful. I found it hard to imagine it being any more painful than it had been thus far so I was grateful. I had very little back and chest hair and I was glad. The removal of what little I had was nigh on excruciating.

"Darn," I muttered through gritted teeth, "I hope I don't have to get this done too often."

She looked at me and smiled, "We can think about other techniques that would have...more lasting effect for next time." She paused and looked a bit uncomfortable, "Cara...this is a little bit delicate. But...well, as we will be trying to minimise any 'bulge' down there," she indicated my groin region, "it might be an idea to remove the hair from there." She looked embarrassed herself.

I nodded and said slowly, "Err alright. You want me to remove my panties?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Only if you are comfortable enough with this."

I laughed a little at that, "I wouldn't call it comfortable, but it's fine." I slipped them off and felt very vulnerable lying there. Beth took the razor and gently and gingerly began to shave. After a few minutes she looked up and said, "Sorry but I'm going to have to..." and she lifted my privates to shave around and below. I exerted all the willpower I could, but couldn't help from preventing some stirring in that region. Beth was a very attractive woman. She was petite and slim with long auburn hair.

"I'm really sorry, Beth," I murmured feeling mortified.

"Don't be," she reassured, "I'm basically done. You want to slip your panties back on?"

I can safely say I was never as glad to pull on a pair of skimpy black panties as I was then. I was now hairless from my neck down. She then explained that she was going to rub in some moisturiser to minimise any skin irritation. This was the nice part as she massaged the cool cream into my skin all over. I lay back and closed my eyes and relished in the soothing sensations. I was almost disappointed when she was finished.

"Right. Hair," she said brightly as she gestured towards the washbasin. I sat down in the chair in front and laid my head back onto the shaped edge of the basin. She began to rinse with steaming hot water and I closed my eyes enjoying the relaxing feeling. Shampoo, conditioner and dear knows what else, then another good rinse and she was done.

"Your hair is lovely and soft," she said, "But it could be in better condition. Don't you look after it?" She almost sounded accusing.

"Erm, well no, not really. Sorry."

I think she must have seen the look of guilt in my eyes, she laughed, "Sorry I didn't mean to get heavy-handed, but from now on you are going to have to look after it much better."

I nodded, "Sure" as she began to comb it out. She lightly dried it off with a hairdryer before stopping and sitting down in front of me. She smiled at me, "How do you feel about hair extensions?"

"Umm hair extensions?" I said not knowing how I felt about them at all.

"Yes, hair extensions. Your hair is of reasonable length, but I think it would look so much better if it came down to about here," she gestured to just below my shoulder blades. "I'm pretty sure I'll have an exact match here and trust me, no-one will spot the fact that they are extensions. It'll be as real as your own hair."

I shrugged and felt my heart quicken. The pace of all this was accelerating but then I knew it would have to. I forced a smile, "Sure. No half measures eh?"

She grinned, "I know Jools told me you were willing to go all out for this, but I just want to check each step of the way."

"Thanks," I said softly and I meant it.

She came back with a few different shades of hair extensions and finding one that matched mine exactly, began to weave them in. It took quite some time and I just closed my eyes and let her get on with it. Once done, she brushed vigorously through my hair and nodded, "There we go, impossible to tell. Now for a bit of style. I was going to give you a permawave if that's alright."

I laughed, "It's fine, but you'll have to tell me what it is first."

She laughed too, "I keep forgetting that you are not one of my regular customers and that you don't understand the lingo. A permawave is somewhere between a perm, and a little waviness in your hair. So it won't be totally curly, but it has more body than just a little wave in your hair. Ok?"

I nodded and grinned, "Sure, fire away. I'm in your hands."

She weaved my hair in and out of what looked like long rollers. It wasn't as tightly wound as the other day when Jools did it. Then she sprayed something strong smelling over my hair and placed what looked like a large shower cap over my hair. "Ok, we leave that for about half an hour, then rinse your hair and get you on the dryer."

"What's next then, boss?" I asked.

She grinned, "Well I was wondering what you think about your facial hair."

I smiled lamely, "There isn't much to wonder about. I haven't shaved for 2 days now on Jool's instructions and as you can see, there isn't much to write home about."

She nodded, "That's probably a good thing." She paused and began hesitantly, "How would you feel about permanent removal of facial hair?"

I paused and whilst initially reacting against such a suggestion, realised that it made little difference. "Well, I guess I'm never planning on growing much of a beard no matter what the future holds. So, in that case, I guess I'm open to suggestions."

She nodded, "I can give you a number of electrolysis treatments over the next few weeks which will essentially effect permanent loss of facial hair. Think about it, no more shaving!"

I smiled cautiously, "I can see the advantages."

"And because you don't have much in the way of facial hair, the treatments will be mild, should be effective, and without side-effects. So what do you think?"

I shrugged, "Go for it, I guess."

She got her kit and began to work on my face applying a small electrical current to each hair for about 15 seconds. It took about half an hour or so before she was done. She rubbed a hand over my face and smiled, "Baby smooth."

I smiled, I didn't quite know how to react. She continued, "I'll repeat this once a week or so over the next month and depending on how well we get on, we may need a repeat treatment once a month or so. Or we may not."

She brought me back over to the sink and, removing the cap, rinsed the foul smelling stuff out of my hair. She put the rollers back in again and then sat me down under one of those big hair-dryer helmet things. "About half an hour here to dry. Whilst your hair is drying, I was thinking I could work on your nails."

"My nails?" I asked

"Yes. I could paint your toenails and then give you a new set of fingernails."

"Umm, why bother to paint my toenails, and what do you mean a new set of fingernails?"

She smiled patiently, "Why the toenails?" She shrugged, "It's part of the overall effect I guess. No-one sees them often, but you do and it conditions you in a small way perhaps. By a new set of fingernails I basically mean a set of acrylic nails which are essentially glued on over yours. They look perfect, they are hard, durable and stylishly feminine."

I shrugged, "Well OK I guess."

She began to paint my toenails a deep reddish brown colour explaining that she felt it fitted in well with my natural colouring. After a few coats I was sitting there with bits of cotton wool between my toes to keep them apart whilst drying. She got a set of nails and after measuring a few against my fingers she decided on the right size. "How long do you want them to be?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said wrinkling my brow, "What do you think?"

She shrugged, "You can have them as long as you like, up to an inch if you wanted."

I screwed up my face, "No, that wouldn't do. It'd affect my guitar and piano playing." I pondered, "Although a little bit of length would help my guitar finger picking I guess. How about this long or so?" I asked indicating a distance of about 3 or 4 millimetres.

"Great!" she said, "Now what about colour?" Seeing the familiar blank look on my face she laughed, "You can have them clear like ordinary unpainted nails, but to be honest, then you have the hassle of having to paint them. You can get them coloured and then you don't have to worry about painting them, but if you want to, you can paint another colour over them. Now make sure you realise, once these are on, they are on until they grow out basically."

I felt a little overwhelmed and just asked her to do what she thought was best. She selected a dark reddish-brown colour and began her work. I rested back under the dryer and I think with the warmth I must have drifted off. She gently shook me, "Come on sleeping beauty. There's more to be doing," she chuckled.

I blinked a few times as I felt a little disorientated and went to rub my eyes and scratched myself, "Ow," I complained. I looked down at my hands and saw my new nails. I was awestruck. I stretched out my fingers and looked at them one way, then another.

"Beautiful aren't they?" murmured Beth.

"Yes," I said without thinking. "Umm, that is, they make my hands look slimmer and more..."

"Feminine?" she prompted. I grinned and shrugged awkwardly.

Placing the cap back on over my dry hair and leaving the rollers in place she brought me back into what looked like a dressing room. "Now," she said. "I've got something special for you in this box."

She opened the box and lifted two familiar shaped objects out of them. They were obviously breast forms. "These are very special, state of the art stuff," she told me, "Finest silicon forms with a synthetic latex covering that is the closest to mocking natural skin I've seen. They don't come cheap, but Jools insisted we cut no corners in this area."

I looked at them, "They look quite big."

She smiled and shrugged, "Jools thought that as you are trying to make an impact with your music and your image why would you want to skimp in this area."

I rolled my eyes.

"Now, I've got some medical adhesive here," she demonstrated. "Pasting this onto your chest and the underside of the breasts will ensure they stay in place and move appropriately. I think it lasts for about a month at a time." Walking towards me, she raised her eyebrows, "Shall I?"

I nodded and swallowed. "Sure," I croaked.

She applied the adhesive and then held the breast forms onto my chest making sure the positioning was perfect. She held them firm for about 5 minutes before letting go. The feeling was one of the strangest feelings I have ever had. I felt unbalanced and the sensation of movement in front of me did not feel right at all.

"Well?" she asked, "How do they feel?"

"I -- I don't know," I stammered, "It's sort of weird."

"Feel them," she encouraged.

I lifted my hands and cupped my breasts. They felt pretty real. I raised my eyebrows. Beth noticed.

"Good aren't they?" she asked with a smile.

I nodded, "They feel very realistic."

"They look it too, even without a bra or anything. Look," she gestured to a mirror. She was right, they did look very real. They didn't quite match my skin tone but apart from that, they looked like the real McCoy.

The next step was another corset and it was just like the other day as she laced me in tight. It had the effect of constricting my waist down as before, but also pushed my breasts up and out more.

"Beth?" I asked, "What size are these breasts just out of interest?"

She smiled, "D cup."

I rolled my eyes, "Did you have to get such...big ones?"

She laughed, "No half measures, remember? And sure, the guys will love it."

My face felt as if it was burning and I felt as if I had been hit in the stomach. The guys? To be perfectly honest, I really hadn't considered the prospect of interacting with guys as a woman. Or the effect I might have on them. It was very disconcerting. I was distracted from thinking about it further as Beth handed me a small flesh coloured garment.

"What's this?" I asked.

"It's a gaff," she explained. "It's to help hide any bulges, you know, down below. I'll turn away and you can slip it on and put your panties back on. If you need any help, just ask." She winked mischievously.

I worked out how it went on and as I pulled it up and on tight, it had the desired effect. I replaced my panties and told Beth I was ready. Next she handed me a pair of stockings and having watched how Jools had put them on me the other day, I was able to do it reasonably well myself. Beth seemed impressed. I clipped them onto the suspenders at the bottom of my corset and stood up waiting for what was to come.

"Here you go Cara," she smiled, "Your first dress." She handed me a little black dress and I took it and looked at it. My first dress. I gathered that it was meant to go on over my head, there was no zip or anything so I shrugged and slipped it on. I pulled it down, straightened it and made sure it fit well around my breasts and then I tugged the hem down. It was long-sleeved, form fitting and came to just above my knees.

Again I had to admit to myself that wearing a dress and stockings didn't feel unpleasant. In fact, the sensation of stockings on my recently waxed, now smooth legs was quite exquisite. I was glad I didn't have to admit this out loud though.

"Nice," mused Beth. "Now for some shoes." She handed me a pair of shiny black shoes. They had a 2 inch or so heel and I slipped them on. Of course they fit perfectly. The Carstairs girls didn't seem to get much wrong.

She brought me over to a make up chair, which wasn't facing a mirror and I sat down. She looked at my face, "Your eyes are a strong feature. So deep and brown, we'll be able to bring them out nicely." She began by rubbing moisturiser into my face and a similar procedure followed like the other day with foundation being added shortly afterwards and setting powder.

"Eyebrows," she said.

"What about them?" I asked having a suspicion as to what was coming.

"I was going to pluck them to make them look more feminine if that's OK?" she asked.

"Work away," I said, "That's what I'm here for."

It was painful and brought tears to my eyes. She plucked, plucked and plucked until was sure I had no eyebrows left. At last she was satisfied and sat back and smiled. "There, that looks much better." She began to apply eye-liner and several shades of eye shadow before coating my lashes with mascara. Again some rouge and then lipstick. She chose a rich red-brown colour and carefully painted my lips and then added some gloss.

She sprayed me with some perfume and winked, "Jools said to ensure the whole experience was given." I snorted.

"Oh," she said, "I almost forgot." She went and brought a box over from the bench, "Jools and I got you this as a little sort of starting out present." She smiled shyly.

"What is it?" I smiled curiously.

"Open it," she urged.

I opened the box and inside was a jewellery set. Gold. Not cheap looking. I looked up, "Wow. This looks...lovely."

She smiled and lifted out a medium sized gold chain and fixed it around my neck. I picked out a gold watch, "Really lovely," I mused as I slipped it on my left wrist. She placed a thin gold chain on my right wrist. There were two rings in the box, one went on the ring finger of my right hand, and the other on the third finger of my left hand. All that remained in the box was a pair of gold hoop earrings. I lifted them out and soon realised that they weren't clip-ons.

"Umm, these aren't clip-ons," I said stating the obvious. "They are for pierced ears." I looked up at Beth.

She smiled and nodded, "Yes, well they came as part of the set, sorry."

I paused and thought. I looked up at her again. I took a deep breath and swallowed again. "Err, well I suppose...well it might be an idea..." I swallowed and continued, "It might be an idea to get my ears pierced...?" my voice trailed off and I added, "what do you think?"

She smiled and squeezed my arm. "Jools and I both think so, but we didn't want to force you into anything. But yes, if you are going for this all out, then it probably does make sense."

I nodded and fingered the gold hoops in my hands. They were really lovely. I nodded and chewed my lower lip for a moment before speaking, "OK, yes. Can you do it?"

She smiled, "Sure I can. Now do you want to put those hoops in now or studs? It will take about 4 weeks before the holes are healed and you can change earrings."

"Umm, the hoops are nice," I said.

She nodded, "Alright then." She got some ice and placed it against my left ear for a moment and then pierced it with her piercing gun. It was like a dull ache. She worked the hoop into place and then repeated the procedure with my right ear. It was another strange sensation to add to all the others: feeling earrings swing in my ears.

She sat and looked at me for a moment without speaking. I noticed and asked, "What is it?" She shook her head, but I persisted, "No come on, what is it?"

She shrugged, "Well I was just thinking. Well it depends on what sort of image you're going for, but if you're aiming to be a female star, musician whatever, well I was thinking you might want to think about more piercings? And if so, well if you proceeded now, they would be healed and good to go in 4 weeks. Just a thought."

I thought about it. I could see her point. But part of me was recoiling against it. I weighed it up and decided she definitely had a point and given I wasn't sure what grounds I had particularly for disagreeing.

"No half measures?" I said softly. She smiled and nodded. I asked, "What do you suggest?"

"Well, I was thinking that if I pierced each ear once more at least, that would probably be enough for now."

I took a deep breath, "OK"

"OK? You want me to?"

I nodded slowly, "Yes sure, go for it."

"Alright," she smiled, "I'll just put little gold studs in this time. The procedure was repeated in both ears. As she did it, I wondered what would happen if I was ever going to try to go back to being Nick, but I put that thought out of my head as it wasn't exactly helpful to the current situation.

"Nearly done," she said. She took the cap off my head and removed the rollers. Another vigorous brushing of my hair ensued and eventually she was done. She stood back and got me to stand up. I complied.

She gave a low whistle. "Well I never." I looked at her questioningly. She continued, "Jools told me how good you looked the other day, but I didn't think she meant this good. I mean, this is incredible. If I didn't know otherwise, I would swear blind that you are and always had been a woman. Unbelievable."

I felt my curiosity getting the better of me, "Can I see please?"

She brought me into the dressing room where there was a full-length mirror and I stopped dead in my tracks. It was like the other day only much more so this time. I had flowing long, sleek wavy black hair, pencil-thin eyebrows which at that current time were trying their best to make it up my forehead to my hairline. Perfectly made up, absolutely perfectly. I guessed Beth was pretty good at what she did. The dress clung to my figure which was shapely to say the least. The breasts were prominent, the waist narrow and my legs looked long and shapely.

"She was right," Beth mused.

"Hmm?" I said as my mind tried to regain control of my body.

"Jools said that when I was done with you I'd agree."

"Agree what?"

"She said you were absolutely gorgeous and would make me completely green with envy to look at you."

I waved a hand dismissively at her and winced, "Nonsense."

"No seriously," she said softly, "I see a lot of women in here, most not particularly beautiful, but some are. I'm not sure I've seen anyone in here more beautiful than you."

I didn't know what to say. "Thanks," I heard myself say as I turned to look at myself in the mirror again.

"You know," she said, "If you can sing half as good as you look, beware world because here comes Cara Malone!"
 

*          *          *
 
Time was marching on, it was well after seven and Beth had rang Jools to say there was little point in her coming back in to us. We would both come on out to Silsbury Manor in Beth's car. Beth handed me a short black jacket and after slipping it on, I stepped outside the salon. As she locked the door I felt extremely uncomfortable. It must have been obvious.

"What's wrong Cara?" she asked softly right beside me.

"Umm, I dunno," I replied, "I think I just feel very strange outside looking like I do and dressed like this." I paused, "I keep thinking people are going to start laughing and pointing or something."

She chuckled softly and took me by the arm as we walked round to the back of the salon to where her little Renault was parked, "Honey, trust me, they may stop and stare but there would be no laughing or pointing. Jealous looks, looks of desire maybe, but no-one is ever going to think you are anything other than a beautiful woman." She added, "Especially after the next 4 weeks."

I didn't know whether to be reassured or more disconcerted. It worked both ways on different levels. I mean, if I was wearing a black dress and made up to the nines, I was quite happy to be thought of as a woman. However the comment about no-one ever thinking I was anything but a woman? Was this a one-way trip I wondered? What if things didn't work out? I put these thoughts out of my head as Beth opened the passenger door for me.

"Sit down bottom first and then swing both legs in together," she murmured to me.

I did as she instructed and it was quite a strange movement compared to my normal one leg in first, then body, then other leg manoeuvre. I must have completed it satisfactorily though as she grinned at me and drove off. We drove for about 4 or 5 miles out of town into the dark countryside before Beth told me we were nearly there.

"Now," she said, "let me warn you. My parent's house is quite big. It can be quite overwhelming to first time visitors."

I shrugged but still I couldn't help but give a sharp intake of breath as she rounded the bend in the coastal road and I saw the lighted mansion on the next headland.

"You weren't half kidding," I murmured.

She smiled almost a little embarrassedly, "Yes well, I know."

"How long have your folks lived there?"

"Oh they got this place built about 17 years ago. It's not that old a building. So I was about 8 years old when we moved here. It's the only home really that Jools and I remember."

She pressed a button on a remote device beside her and the large wrought iron gates that we had driven up to began to slowly open. We drove through and began a slow drive up the long driveway to the house. Again another remote button pressed and one of the 4 garage doors slid open to admit her car. We climbed out and I saw Jools' car there alongside a sleek Jaguar and a sporty Mercedes. Her parents' cars I presumed. She led me over to a staircase at one side of the garage and keyed in a code on the lock beside the door at the top. We entered the house and about 10 seconds later Jools came dashing around a corner.

"Let me see, let me see," she said breathlessly.

Beth grinned and stood aside leaving me in the middle of the hallway standing there shyly. I smiled a little unsurely.

"Oh -- my -- god," Jools said slowly. She stared at me and shook her head slowly, "Oh my god," she repeated.

After an awkward moment's silence, I cleared my throat, "Umm do I look OK, Jools?"

She laughed, "Cara, darling, you are unbelievably gorgeous. I can't believe you were ever a man."

I winced again but figured pointing out the offensiveness of her statement would be inappropriate given that she meant it as a compliment.

Jools turned to Beth, "You are an absolute wizard sis."

Beth laughed and shook her head, "An artist is only as good as the raw material and the raw material in this case was awesome."

Jools grinned and inspected me closely. She took my hands in hers and ooh'ed at my nails, she winked at me as she looked at my breasts. She gently stroked my smooth cheek and then she noticed my earrings. She raised an eyebrow and asked me, "Were these your own decision?"

I nodded and smiled feeling quite embarrassed. "No half measures you know Jools," I quipped. She turned to Beth and raised an eyebrow.

"It was her choice," Beth replied indignantly, "I did not force her at all."

"OK OK," Jools said placatingly before turning back to me, "Just checking. I just want to make sure you're comfortable with everything Cara."

I laughed out loud, "Comfortable?" I grinned, "I wouldn't quite say that, but I'm aware of the need for all this and I'm still fully committed to it."

Jools grinned, "Fully committed?" She gestured to me and winked, "No kidding."

Before I could retort or pinch her or something, she clapped her hands, "So who's hungry?"

I suddenly realised I was absolutely starving. Not surprising really since Beth and I hadn't eaten anything all afternoon. We both made noises of confirmation and Jools led the way to the kitchen. The house was amazing. The hall was wooden panelled, wooden floored and very tastefully decorated. The kitchen was large and spacious. An Aga cooker in the corner made it warm and cosy and large French windows overlooked what I imagined in daylight would be a very pleasant view. We sat down at the table and Jools served us generous helpings of steaming cottage pie.

As I tucked in happily, I asked Jools, "Did you make this? It's really good."

She chuckled, "I resent your implication. But you are quite correct. I didn't make it, Mabel did."

I raised an eyebrow a forkful halfway to my mouth, "Mabel?"

She nodded, "Mabel Finniston is the housekeeper. She and her husband Sam live in the gate lodge. You probably didn't notice it in the dark as you drove in. Sam is the groundsman cum gardener cum handyman whatever. They're both in their sixties and have been working for Mum and Dad since we moved in here." She shrugged, "They're more like grandparents to us I guess."

I nodded and ate a few more mouthfuls before something struck me, "Umm Jools. Are they...well, are they on the list?"

Beth looked puzzled, but I knew Jools understood. She replied, "No they are not. I wasn't planning on telling them. It wouldn't be a problem, but looking at how you've turned out, I can't imagine any need to tell them."

I took a slow breath and murmured, "My first real test I guess." I was going to have to convince two people up close for a lengthy period of time that I was a woman. It was quite a daunting prospect.

We finished up dinner. I wasn't able to eat as much as I had thought I would which puzzled me. When I mentioned it to the girls, Beth grinned and pinched my waist, "I think your new corset might have something to do with that. Probably not a bad thing too. It will teach you to have a woman's appetite."

I grimaced and said with mock-drama, "The trials of being a woman."

We took cups of hot coffee into a comfortable little sitting room. It was very homely and I gladly sank into a soft chair.

"Cara?" Jools asked.

"Mmm?" I replied.

"I was thinking. Voice," she said enigmatically.

"Voice?" I replied, "What's wrong with my voice? Sure that's what got me into all this."

Jools looked puzzled for a moment, "Oh wait, not your singing voice. I was thinking, your speaking voice. You're going to need to do something with it don't you think? I mean, it's not as if you've got the most...," she stopped.

"Go on," I said with a sigh having a good idea what was coming.

"Sorry," she said wincing, "I was going to say it's not as if you have the most manly voice. I'm really sorry. But do you think you can do something with it? I mean, how about trying to speak from your throat or something, rather than from the bottom of your chest."

I pondered and nodded. I thought about it a bit and then felt I was ready to try something out. I noticed both of them looking at me expectantly. "Umm," I said in my normal voice, "I think I can try something, but I feel sort of awkward, I don't know what to say."

Beth clicked her fingers and reached down beside her chair and pulled out a magazine. It was a woman's magazine and she opened it at one of the short stories it contained. "Why don't you just read and see what you can do," she suggested helpfully.

It was a good idea so I took it and got ready to read. I closed my eyes and mentally imagined myself as a woman about to speak, sort of like I had done when singing before. I began to read out loud. I made my voice a little softer, but not weak or whispery. I did as Jools said and tried to speak from my throat or even my mouth, rather than from my chest. I read on and on and made little adjustments here or there. As I read more, I tried to forget that the voice reading was mine and as I listened to myself speak, I felt the same disconcerting feeling that I had felt when listening to myself sing as a woman. I wasn't sure what Jools or Beth would think, but to my ears, the voice speaking was a woman.

I stopped reading and looked up at them. They both were staring at me trance-like. They looked at each other and then looked back at me. "Wow," Beth murmured.

"Wow indeed," Jools said with a growing smile. "Cara, you have a lovely voice and I don't just mean your singing voice. And how's about the Welsh accent!"

"Sorry?" I said, still trying to speak in the woman's voice.

She grinned, "You've got your accent back again!"

I thought about it and realised she was right. Since moving up to London 5 years ago, my natural Welsh accent had become dulled to the point that no-one realised I was from Wales anymore. But now, speaking as Cara, the familiar lilt was back in my voice. I smiled, quite happy about this.

"Well, I don't know how it happened, but I guess it's a bonus," I replied. Yes, the lilt was there.

Jools smiled at me, "That voice, from that face on that body..." she shook her head and left her statement unfinished. I felt my cheeks flush, but I couldn't help myself from smiling. I couldn't help myself from yawning shortly after that too and I noticed Jools and Beth both catching the contagious yawn.

"Let's give you a quick tour, and then we can show you to your room," Jools said standing up from her chair, "You must be tired, I know I am."

I smiled and nodded, "It's been quite a day."

They showed me around the house. It was quite something. I loved the library with its wall to wall shelves and books on anything under the sun. Apparently their Dad was an avid reader. The formal drawing room was lavishly furnished, and I was almost afraid to touch anything for fear of tarnishing it. The dining room was a spacious room which had windows on three sides and a long shiny oblong table in the middle of it. But it was the room at the end of the hall that I really warmed to. I think Jools purposefully kept it to last. She smiled as she opened the door.

She turned on the light and I entered a largish room with a lacquered wooden floor. Along one wall was one big mirror with a wooden rail at waist height. I noted my music equipment was stashed against the opposite wall. But it was the far end of the room that caught my attention. There was a massive bay window and in front of it was a polished black baby grand piano. My eyes lit up and I turned to Jools with a goofy grin. "Wow, err can I?"

She grinned and gave a mock-frown, "Oh now, I don't know..." She laughed unable to keep a straight face, "Oh go on, of course you can."

I sat down on the stool and reverently and cautiously lifted the lid. I paused and then began to play. I wasn't sure what I was playing. It didn't really matter. The lush tones of the piano combined with the delightful acoustics of the room brought a dreamy smile to my face. After a few minutes I stopped and turned round.

Before I could say anything, Beth winked at Jools, "OK, she can certainly play, but can she sing?"

I grinned and turned back to the piano, rising to the challenge. I mentally prepared myself and gave them 'Show me Heaven'." I gave it everything and lost myself in the moment before slowly bringing myself back to earth as the song finished. I turned round and nimbly got to my feet. I think it must have been the adrenaline from playing that made me do what I did next. I haughtily tossed my head and smiled at Beth with a little wink saying, "Oh the girl can most certainly sing."

Both she and Jools burst out laughing. Between giggles Beth tried to speak, "With your voice and that attitude, I can see why you and Jools are going to such lengths." I couldn't help from joining in the laughter too.

"This is a great room," I enthused. "What's the mirror for?"

Jools and Beth looked at each other and rather sheepishly Beth explained, "Well, when we were young girls, we were both sort of keen on ballet."

I laughed as I pictured them pirouetting or such like, "No kidding."

"Oh don't you laugh," Jools warned, "This room has other uses too. Like very good for aerobics."

I grimaced, "Sounds like hard work."

She smiled, "It is and it will be. Us girls have to keep toned and stay in shape."

"What's the view like?" I mused aloud.

Beth replied nonchalantly, "Oh you know, nothing special. Cliff, beach below, crashing waves and the like."

Jools interjected, "Think you could write some more songs in this room?"

I nodded, "Oh most definitely, I think I could spend a lot of time in here."
 

*          *          *
 
The girls gave me the upstairs tour. The house must have had about six bedrooms! They showed me to one of the guest bedrooms. I think it was the largest bedroom I had ever stayed in with a large queen size double bed to boot. And it had its own ensuite shower room too. Beth said her good night and I thanked her sincerely for her help earlier in the day. Jools hung back and asked if I wanted any help removing my makeup. I gratefully accepted and she patiently teacher-like talked me through each step getting me to do it myself. Then she told me to give my hair a good brushing and rather mother-like left me in no doubt that I should give it the old standard hundred brushes morning and night. I slipped off my necklace, bracelet and rings.

"Err Jools," I pondered, "What do I wear, you know, to bed?"

She smiled and walked over to my bed. She lifted my pillow and grinning, lifted a sleeveless black silk nightdress. "How's this?"

I chuckled, "I guess it's grand. What about the corset?"

Jools thought, "Well, I think it would be useful to keep it on but maybe loosen it a lot. I think it'll be good for developing your figure. Do you want a hand?"

I smiled, "Do you mind?"

She helped me out of my dress and showed me how to remove my stockings without getting a run in them. She helped me loosen the corset and I revelled in the relative freedom of that. I slipped on the nightdress.

"How does it feel?" Jools asked curiously.

I felt a little embarrassed as I replied, "Erm, well it feels really nice to be honest." It did. It was soft and silky. It wasn't restricting, it was airy.

She grinned, "I thought you'd like it."

I caught a glimpse of myself in the dressing table mirror and paused. No make up at all. Yet still it was a woman looking back at me. Was it just the hair? The earrings? The figure or the nightdress? Or a combination of all of the above? I wasn't sure. Jools asked me what was wrong and I explained what I was thinking. She smiled and asked me if it really mattered what explained it. I guess it didn't and told her so. She said goodnight and was heading for the door when she paused as if wanting to say something more.

"What is it Jools?" I asked as I sat on the edge of my bed.

She hesitated, but slowly made her way back to my bed and sat down beside me. She sat in silence looking thoughtful for a moment before looking sideways at me. "No half measures, isn't that what you said?" she asked softly.

I smiled back at her, "Well, if I'm going to do it, I think that's the right approach don't you?"

She nodded, "Absolutely. It's just that there was something else I was going to suggest, but didn't know whether or not to bring it up."

I paused. I had no idea what she was going to suggest but my curiosity was piqued. "Well Jools, tell me what it is. I can't give an opinion if you don't let me know."

She nodded again, "Alright. Now I didn't tell this person any specifics so don't get all worried about another person knowing. But there's this doctor I know. Well she's an old family friend and I went to see her a year or two back when I had some...problems. I was mentioning to her that I had a friend who wanted to become a woman."

I interrupted, "Well wanted is not exactly how I would have put it..."

She held up a hand, "I know, I know. But I didn't want to go into specifics. Anyways I was just inquiring out of interest with her if there was anything she could suggest that would help." She paused to let her words sink in.

I think I got the drift. "Hormones?" I said a little shakily.

She nodded and smiled sympathetically, "Yes. Now I know it's a big thing, but let me lay it out and you can either think about it or never mention it again. Either way, it's totally fine with me."

I swallowed hard to keep my stomach from ascending into my throat, "Alright, I'm listening."

"Well, she said that you, or rather, my friend, could take what is essentially a souped up strength version of what is like a female contraceptive pill. It contains a mixture of oestrogens and progestagens to mimic the female hormonal balance. I asked her what sort of effects they would have if taken for about 4 weeks. Apparently there wouldn't be much effect in that time. Hair would be softer, skin would be too. Perhaps slight change in body fat distribution but nothing too noticeable. With me so far?"

I nodded, "There's more?"

She smiled and nodded, "Well then she said that if 'my friend' wanted to accelerate things somewhat, a starter booster dose could be used. Basically an injection of high dose oestrogen to kick start things. That combined with 4 weeks of the daily pills would have a bit more effect." She paused for a moment before continuing, "Basically after that time with the head start, there would be quite noticeable redistribution of body fat. Narrower waist, fuller hips. And well, the beginnings of some natural breast development." Jools held up a hand, "Now she was quite clear, that either way with starter dose or not, after 4 weeks, none of the changes would be irreversible in any way." She stopped and looked at me.

"Wow," I murmured. Then I thought of something, "Jools. Just by chance, would you happen to have in your possession here the pills and the starter injection?"

From the guilty look on her face I knew the answer before she spoke. "Yes Cara," she confessed, "Look I only thought I'd get them from her just in case. I want you to believe me on that. To be honest, I had almost decided not to mention them at all, but I figured it was only fair to give you the options."

I nodded, "It's alright. I'm not angry." I wasn't, I was just a little overwhelmed. I thought for a few moments as I tried to get my brain around it. It was scary on the one hand. But on the other hand, as Jools had said, nothing would be irreversible.

I started to think out loud, "Jools, if we make a go of this, I mean say we get a deal and things turn out successful. Well as we said before, that sort of means I'm going to be a woman from now on. In that case, it would be the sensible thing to take some hormones then wouldn't it?"

She nodded, "It does seem logical."

I continued, "Alright, and if as you say the changes aren't irreversible after 4 weeks..." My voice trailed and I wrinkled my brow as I tried to take it on board.

I shook my head, "Jools I can't get my head around all of this and it seems scary, but thinking simply about it. If things work out, I probably will need to take hormones. Starting now probably makes sense. If things don't work out, well then I stop and there's no long lasting effects."

I looked over at her and exhaled slowly.

"What are you saying?" she prompted gently.

"I guess I'm saying that I'm pretty well petrified, but on balance, why don't we go for it. I can stop anytime. I mean we have to give this everything or else it's a pathetic waste of time and money and me being scared shouldn't affect that."

She smiled, "Are you sure? Want to sleep on it?"

I shook my head, "No Jools, I don't want to sleep on it. Let's do it. Sleeping on it won't change the reasons for doing it."

"Are you sure?" she asked again.

I half-chuckled, "Well no, I'm not sure, but I'm saying yes let's do it, so go get your hormone gun before I change my mind."

She grinned and said she'd be back in a moment. Within a minute she slipped back into my room with a syringe.

"Do you know what to do with that?" I asked tentatively.

She smiled, "My friend talked me through it and said I couldn't go wrong."

"Famous last words," I muttered.

She told me to roll over onto my stomach and I did so. She lifted the hem of my nightdress and pulled my panties to one side. "Hold still," she murmured. I felt a stinging jab on my right buttock and then an intense pain as she injected the contents of the syringe.

"Ouch," I murmured into the bed.

She vigorously rubbed the injection site and then pulled my nightdress down. I sat up and smiled at her, "I don't feel any different yet."

She laughed, "I don't think it works that quickly."

"Oh wait," I said raising a hand to my brow and frowning. Seeing she was looking at me with concern, I quipped, "It must have worked, I think I've forgotten how to park a car. Darn, I'm a woman."

She sighed, "You!!" and gave me a playful slap. She placed a strip of pills on my bedside table. I noticed that 3/4 of them were red and 1/4 were yellow. "You take one a day, starting with the red ones," she explained. "I'll leave them here; it's totally up to you to take them. I'll not be forcing them into you."

She looked at me thoughtfully, "You know Cara, you really are something else. I'm amazed at how well you are taking this. You're so determined."

I laughed, "Oh, I don't think the half of it has sunk in yet. I'm sure there will be tears at some stage. But we've got to go for it; well I know I have to."

She gave me a tender hug and then a gentle peck on the lips, "Night Cara. Sleep well. Want me to give you a wake up call in the morning?"

"Sure thing. And thanks Jools...for everything."

She grinned and waved closing the door behind her. I slipped under the covers of the bed and lay down. My head was swimming as I thought back over the day. Thankfully I was so tired that I didn't have long to mull over things before I drifted off to sleep.

---