Act IV
Why Does Unicorn Flavored Pudding Taste like Cheap Cotton Candy?

My maiden trip into the women's restroom went down without a hitch. And I soon found myself sitting once more in a pudding and cream covered chair, wearing a plastic cloak that was covered with dried pudding and sour, smelling cream. Jamie looked crestfallen. Winter looked boarded out of her mind and tried to look cute and I fell flat on my face.

“Okay.” Jamie said after a few tense minutes. “I guess this is my fault. I'll go ahead and accept the blame for this fundraiser flopping and step down as captain. I'll turn in my pom-poms first thing tomorrow morning and I'll even turn in my prefect badge.”

“Falling on your own sword already?” I said.

Nobody said anything.

“Well it's a good thing that your big sister is here.” A voice came from the crowd. “Because I just pulled your pretty blonde head out of the cooking pot.”

I blinked, Winter blinked and then finally Jamie, our fearless leader blinked. And then from the crowd came Lily, Jamie's older sister. Following behind Lily was what appeared to be a small army of followers.

“I told all of my fellow businessmen and women who have poured, sweat, blood, and treasure into keeping our downtown area thriving. That the lovely young woman who volunteered to play the last Dotty had also volunteered to help my dim-witted, but well meaning little sister to staff the Pie Toss, even though she should be the one helping with cleaning up. Jamie, honey, the captain always goes in first. But, I guess you kind of forgot that.” Lily said in a mild, scolding manner.

Winter rolled her eyes and sighed to herself.

“Anyway! A bunch of us local business owners got together and all of us pooled together some money to help cover the cost of your food, lodging and gas. Now, if you had been smart you would have promoted yourself a little better. If you'd been really smart like your big sister would have been. You would have listened to your lieutenant here. Who from what I understand is going to take the squad next year.” Lily went on.

Winter nodded her head.

“And I've already picked out two of my lieutenants too. In fact one is sitting here right now, and one is at home sweating out a bad case of the seasonal flu.” Winter said with a small smile. “Don't worry, I'll do my best to keep the home fire burning.

I stayed silent through the whole exchange.

Jamie blushed a little and seemed to be on the verge of tears.

“Live and learn sister.” Lily said, shaking her head. “Anyway, around twelve local businesses, most of them downtown merchants, each chipped in a hundred dollars a piece. So that's twelve hundred dollars.” Lily said as she reached into her purse and slowly she pulled out a plain envelope. “So inside here I have twelve one hundred dollar bills. But, there is a catch.”

Jamie and Winter seemed all ears, I on the other hand remained silent.

“The first condition. Daisy has to agree personally to perform the final stunt. Neither Winter or You can twist her arm. Since I promoted Daisy, it can only be Daisy. Now normally it would be the captain of the squad. But since you're above taking a little for the good of the squad. And since you had to force Daisy into doing this. The choice is hers and hers alone.”

I blinked and blinked.

“The second condition. The whole squad must attend the training camp. Now, I know in years past that only the 'A' and 'B' sections would be allowed to attend the summer training camp. But this year it must be the whole squad. All three sections. In fact, I personally promised a roaster of all the girls who would attend the training camp would be given to each merchant who donated. All also demanded that a certain Daisy Isabella Bell be present. I promised them it would be. And it seems that Benton Chemical Works and Guild's Building Company. Have really taken a shine to her. Because they promised to make a nice little donation to my squad if I personally promised to train her..” Lily paused.

“So Daisy, I hope you are ready to work. Cause starting tomorrow morning. Fourteen college age girls are going to put you through the paces. Pretty much, what it takes most girls thirteen years to learn, I'm going to drill into from now till next season. So yes.”  Lily paused and took a deep breath. “I also promised that all the cheerleaders would take photos of their activities at the training camp. To prove the whole squad was invited to attend. I also promised that each girl would write a thank you letter, to each of the small business owners that made the cash donation. Meaning that Daisy Isabella Bell, also must write a letter and be included in all camp activities. And she must get her fair share of photos posted on squads Facebook.” Lily was smirking at this point.

Jamie seemed as white as a sheet and Winter's eyes were as wide as saucer plates.

“That mean's Daisy Isabella Bell is now on the squad. So you better have a plan, little sister. Kind of reminds me how you broke the egg. Okay onto the third and final condition.” Lily said with a smile as she waved the envelope in front of Jamie's face. I could tell she was enjoying this.

“If none of the first two conditions are met to the satisfaction of all the merchants that donated. Then the full amount must be refused.” Lily sighed. “I did my best to get them to sway from the last one, but nobody would budge. I can't help it, nobody till tonight has heard of Daisy Isabella Bell, well that not till I mentioned the whole Dotty stunt. Which is weird, and I'm glad I've not been asked to volunteer for that thing. Kissing a big was foulest thing I've ever done for charity. But the moment I brought it up that little cartoon light bub that always floats above peoples head flickered on.”

“I'll agree on one condition.” I said blushing. “Jamie has to call Cerridwen and put her on FaceTime. I'm sure she would love to see this.”

Lily blinked and then Jamie blinked, and finally Winter smirked and rolled her eyes. A moment later was reaching into her purse and a few seconds later she was pulling out her phone. Smiling from one corner of her mouth to the other. And without missing a beat she started to dial Cerridwen number. A few moments later I heard her speaking into the tiny black box that was her phone.

“Hey is this Cerridwen” She asked, a few moments later she nodded her head. “Hey, how are you feeling girl? Oh darn, but at least your at home in bed right? Like your at home in bed right? Like is your fever going down at all, oh right..” A moment passed. “Oh great! That's good to hear! I hope you start getting your strength back soon. Anyway, your girlfriend is here about to get a bucket of pudding poured over head. At first I was going to send you a video, but then she suggested that I put you on FaceTime so you could see in real time.”

I felt myself starting to blush all over again.

“Okay! Hey girl, don't worry about your face, nobody cares, you're sick, here putting you on right now.” With that Winter smashed a few buttons on her phone. She then held the little black box up to my face, a moment later Cerridwen's face appeared in front of me.

“Hey!” She said weakly, her normally porcelain colored skin seemed to be flushing red with fever. Her normally bright blue eyes, eyes that never failed to remind me of my birth stone, the Sapphire seemed dull and fringed with darkness and her breathing was hard, like she was struggling and fighting for each breath she took. My heart lurched into my throat.

“Sorry you had to fill in for me, my Daisy.” She whispered in a horsed tone of voice. She sounded rough too, “I'm sick, really sick, mom is debating taking me to the hospital. I don't want to go, I don't want to see her again.” She said, sighing. She then fell into a brief coughing fit, after a few hard coughs she managed to spit up a big wad of something. She sighed again and then turned toward. “Also right now, I'm so pilled up, I don't think I could even get out of bed. The Doctor this morning gave me these huge antibiotic pills and two shot. I mean the pills are like horse pills.”

“No problem, anything for you my love.” I said blushing a little. Winter started to snicker a little as I said that, but she kept holding up the phone so I could see Cerridwen. Jamie just stood there looking lost as a goose and Lily was looking down, inspecting her nails.

“Well I owe you one.” Cerridwen paused. A few flash seconds later she fell into another horrible sounding coughing fit. The terrible coughing seemed to go on and on forever and a day until finally she made a horrible sounding noise and a deep rumble came from her throat. A few seconds later she coughed up what I'm going to assume was the world's largest oyster. One that would put a Mountain Oyster to shame and disgrace. “Say, can I take you out?”

“Me or James? I asked, silly I know but I had to know, something deep inside of me wanted to know.

“You.” Cerridwen paused. “The true you, the girl named Daisy Isabella Bell. You, my love, my moon and son.” She said as she looked dead at me.

“Me or James?” I asked, silly question but I had to know.

“You.” Cerridwen paused. “You Daisy Isabella Bell.. you my love, my moon and sun.” She said as she looked dead at me. 

“Okay!” Lily said, smiling. “Now that we got that out of our system. I would like to get this show on the road. Winter if you could take this bucket.” She said nodding her head a few moments later a red-haired girl named Robin appeared beside her, Robin was holding a black mop bucket. “It has five gallons of unicorn pudding. And go stand behind Daisy, I would really love it.”

I blinked and blinked again as I watched Winter take the bucket from Robin and slowly my eyes followed her as Winter picked the mountains of cream and pudding and soon I could feel her standing behind me, I could feel the bucket being lifted into place.

“And Cerridwen.” Lily said smiling. “Can you give us a count down starting from five?”

Cerridwen nodded her head.

I felt my cheeks start to flush with color.

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One!” Cerridwen started to chant.

And then it happen, it happened in a matter of seconds, I felt the bucket being lifted up and being hovered above my head. A moment later I felt Winter starting to tip the bucket over my head. A few beats of the heart later, I felt a landslide of something heavy come rolling over my head. Another skip or beat of the heart later I felt something oily fall over my head, covering my pigtails.

I shivered and jumped a little. The mixture was cold, icy cold and smelled, it smelled like, well have you ever opened up a bag of sugar and stuck your nose down into it. If you have, you know very well the smell I was smelling at that point in time. 

Then a feeling of stickiness came washing over me.

“Wow..” Jamie said as she looked at me. “It looks like a unicorn just barfed up it's lunch and Daisy was standing in front of it when the thing did it.”

“Do unicorns normally barf up sparkling layers of pink, blue, and white?” Another girl said.

“Hell if I know.. Then again this stuff came from Wal-Mart.” Another girl said. “But Jesus girl! The smell. It smells so sweet that I think I'm going to get tooth rot just by smelling it. And the way it's clinging to her. Jesus, she might need to get that stuff cut out of her hair.”

“Well it's pudding.. I guess it will come out in the wash..” Another girl said.

I blushed and looked down at the ground. The ground was covered in puddles of this strange, blue, white, and pink pudding. Then I caught sight of my reflection in one of the mirrors. 

The mirror showed that I'd been covered from the very top of my head down to the bottom of my white sneakers with pudding that was layered with the colors, blue, white, and pink. My pigtails were coated in it, the top of my cheerleading uniform was smeared with it, my skirt soaked in it. My face though had gotten untouched. My hair, I knew I was in for a long night of washing it, that my uncle would once more be muttering about how much hot water I'll be using.

And that tomorrow, if I attended Mass. I was sure I would still have bits of pudding in my hair. But in the end, I'd raised close to twelve hundred dollars, been made a member of the Benton Academy Cheerleaders, and I'd finally cracked my egg. I had crossed the river Rubicon and now, I just needed to take a hold of Rome. I'd even gotten a date out of the whole thing. So it was all good.

The End.