Cerridwen Circe Whitethorn's Debutante Ball
Part One of Three:
Princess Cerridwen Circe Whitethorn

I took a deep breath as I looked around me. I felt uneasy being here. Even though I'd been here before and I had my mom standing right beside me for all the emotional support I would ever need. As I released my deep breath and I closed my eyes and slowly I forced them open. This should be one of the best days in my life, the highlight of my teenage years, but once again my personal demons had decided to rear their heads and send me down into a downward spiral of self-doubting and depression. It was really silly of me, I'd made a ton of progress since I'd come out of the egg some three years ago.

When I hatched from the egg, that to say that I finally accepted that I was transgender. I was very unsure of myself and scared of my very own shadow. I was an outcast, I came from the wrong side of the railroad tracks. I was the new girl who appeared one gloomy afternoon wearing a second-hand school blouse and school skirt that my mother had bought for me from a school uniform resale shop. Everybody knew I was nothing more than a charity case. And nobody, mom, dad and teachers alike expected me to be able to handle the course work. I was trash and I belonged in the public school system.

But from those humble beginnings I'd grown. I had refused to let the bourgeois class of Benton to overlook me, to steamroll over me, to push me aside and forget about me. Yes, my dad had settled among the peasantry of Benton, among the poor field hands and day workers who had made their humble homesteads in hills that formed a half ring around the town. Who could not afford to settle in town. And yes, while my mom owned her own business and my dad made good money as a “Chemical-Man'', we still belonged firmly to the proletariat class as far as the rest of Benton was concerned. But I swore that would not hold me back!

“Honey?” Moms voice echoed loudly behind the door of the changing room. The sound of moms voice derailed the train of thought running through my head.

“Yes?” I said, turning my head so I could peer toward my mom who was holding up two formal gowns. Both were jeweled colored. The one in her right hand was a shimmering Blue Sapphire and the one in her left hand was a sparkling Emerald Green. Both gowns shimmered like the scales of some strange, yet colorful tropical fish.

“Which one would you like?” Mom said as she held up both formal gowns. She held the blue one a little higher. “Personally I think the Blue Sapphire dress would look really good on you. You have naturally black and curly hair like your mother and like your mother you have natural porcelain skin.” Mom then added. “It's also a strapless dress though so we'll need to get you a strapless bra and some fancy underwear. Well both of them are strapless.” Mom said with a heavy sigh.

“I think they're both sexy.” I said, smiling a little. “Plus. I think most prom dresses these days are strapless. They really show off a girl's shoulders. Plus I'll be wearing my hair up in a bun. So all attention will be focused on my face and bare shoulders. Plus, most of the attention will be on my cleavage.”

I noticed mom frowned a little

“You know, I'm not really keen on the idea that people will be looking at my daughter's cleavage.” She said in a matter of fact tone of voice. “But you have already worn a bunny girl suit to a local anime convention. And you were bone headed enough to wear a skimpy, barely covering anything at all bikini in a dunking booth at your school's annual fundraiser.” Mom said with another sigh. She then shook her head. “So I guess you're fine with it. I guess I'm fine with it too. I guess I'm just old fashioned.”

I smiled a little.

“You're not old fashioned mom, you're just not used to the world we live in now. I mean when you were a teenager in the early nineties, you guys still used land-line phones to talk to each other. I mean you were in college when MySpace came online. I mean your generation was lagging behind ours. When it comes to Social Media and stuff. But thankfully the Goddess saw fit to give you a teenage daughter, who is going to bring you up to speed and help you adjust to this brand new world.” I said smiling.

Mom looked like I struck her with an iron skillet.

“Plus consider this mom! It's been three and a half years since I cracked the egg. That to say it's been three and a half years since you discovered your son was really your daughter and I'd say you adjusted quite well.” I said grinning.

Mom gave me another wry smile and she then held the two dresses again.

“So, now we've gotten that out of our systems. Would you mind picking either one of these dresses? And remember young lady, I hold the power to veto your selection if you decided to out and pick one on your own. I would also like to know that these two frocks are the only ones that I have given my personal seal of approval to. So unless you feel like walking the three fourths of a mile to JCPenney from here, I'd suggest you go ahead and pick one of these. And remember too, it is my purse that covers the cost of the frocks, the strapless bra, the special underwear and the shoes. And the discount card in my name that helped derail the cost a little bit to keep your dad from having a stroke. Should you be foolish enough to choose to hike to J.C Penny and search for what you think would be a better frock, then the cost of the frock, bra, and shoes will come from your purse and your purse alone.”

I blinked and then I found myself blinking again.

:Mom, don't take this the wrong way. But I think you missed your one true calling in life.” I said as I eyed the blue dress she was holding in her hand.

“And just what do you mean by that young lady?” My mother said as she leaned in toward me.

“You should have gone to law school instead of beauty school!” I said holding my hands up in the air as if she shields me from some kind invisible blow. “Dear Goddess mom! You got me tied and tethered to the steak here!”

“I do have a law degree honey, I just never told you.” Mom said, smiling one of her smiles.

“Oh from where?” I asked as I mentally weighed the pros and the cons of each dress my mother was holding up in her hands.

“I have a law degree from the 'University of Motherhood'” Mom said smiling.

“I think I'll take the blue one.”

“Good choice.”

Mom then handed me the Sapphire Blue gown and smiled a little as she peered toward me. I felt myself starting to blush as I reached up and took the gown from my mothers hand. I then headed to the dressing room. “Thanks mom, for you know helping me decided.” I said as I peered toward her.

“That's what mothers are for!” Mom said, smiling as she turned around.

“Also hold tight, I'm going to go find you a strapless bra.” Mom said. “I have a pretty good idea of what size you're going to need. Plus you're going to need help putting that dress on as it zips up in the back.” And with that mom walked off. And I started to walk toward the changing room.

Now the changing room at Belk's and really all over the mall are kind of spooky if you ask me. The changing room is one really long hallway that is lined with doors and at the far end is kind of a special room where one can try on fancy frocks or gowns like mine and stand on a raised platform located in the middle. Old, retro looking mirrors form a circle around the raised platform in the middle. Mirrors form a circle around the raised platform and allow the person trying on the gown to view how the grown fits them from every possible angle.

Okay I should tell you what makes them kind of spooky to me, it is the vibe I get from being in one. I always feel like somebody's watching me, judging me when I enter into one. The lighting is poor too, with several of the overhead bulbs having been burned and never replaced, despite the staff swearing they just replaced them. Doors were known to open and close on their own. And one get a feeling that one is being watched whenever one steps into the cubical. And given the lack of foot traffic in the mall today, I knew it was changing rooms.

Once I settled on a cubical, I took a deep breath and started to peel away the layer of clothing. Starting with my violet colored hoodie and then my black, short sleeve blouse, and then off came my snickers and my socks, and finally my jet black skirt. And so there I stood there, facing the mirror in only violet colored bra and violet colored panties.

“I don't even look like a boy anymore.” I said, taking a deep breath as I peered toward my chest. For eighteen hellish months I'd struggled as I took dose after dose of HRT ( Hormone Replacement Therapy) that had caused a number of weird things to happen to me, that included sudden mood swings and moments of gushing emotions. All of this happened while my frail body struggled to adjust. The hormone blockers had later the HTR had been utter hell. But it was the utter rejection of my moms side of the family that had stung the most. My mom had come from a solid, and I mean a solid Eastern Orthodox Catholic Family. She had been walking on thin ice when she had rejected the teaching of the Eastern Orthodox Catholic Church in order to study magic. Though she had fallen through the ice the moment I'd come out as transgender and instead of shoving me out of the house and disowning me, as any good Eastern Orthodox Mother should, she had embraced me as her daughter.

My dad's family on the other hand, that to the Whitethorn family, had just shrugged their shoulders and held their hands up and accepted me. I lost myself in these thoughts, so lost in my own little musing that I did not even hear my mom pushing open the door to the changing room. Sure my dad's folks might have been hillbillies, poor dirt farmers, woodsmen, river rats. And sure they had more in common with Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn than most people in town. But for all their faults, they had simply accepted me for who I was. All two hundred of them. Save the ones resting under the Willow Trees. But they had passed from this world to the other.

“I had to jump through hoops to find a matching bra.” Mom said as she held a violet colored bra.

“How did you know what size bra to get?” I said blushing a little as I reached up and took the violet colored bra from hand.

“I'm your mother, I'm required to know these kinds of things.” Mom said, taking a deep breath.

With mom's help, I'd managed to get the bra on. This was after all the first time I'd worn a strapless bra and it felt a little weird.

“Mom does this changing room feel off to you?” I asked as I finally got the bra on and started to struggle with the dress. The dress was a little tight but otherwise it was a perfect fit. Mom said it was supposed to be a little tight otherwise it might slip down and expose my girls to the world.

“Oh you feel it too?” Mom said as she started to look around me.

“Yes..” I said shuttering a little.

“These changing rooms are haunted. And I'm not talking about human spirits.” Mom said, looking around. “These mirrors capture a lot of negative emotions. It's hard to put into words. But when you think of the thousands of people who have looked into these mirrors...” Mom paused and at that moment the door to the dressing room opened.

“...” I peered toward mom who just blinked and shrugged her shoulders.

A few minutes later the door of the changing room slammed shut! The echoing of the door slamming shut filled the dressing room and caused both me and mom to jump.

“Okay!” I said turning toward mom. “I'll take the blue dress.”

“Yes, I think we've overstayed our welcome!”

End of Chapter 2