Driven from Normal .

Simon McKenzie started his week normal enough, but after a series of events he found himself standing in a bar wearing a cocktail dress. Chapter 28.

With my solitary purchase swinging from my hand in the bag, I practically floated back to my car. I had spent almost all day trying on clothes, something I had always avoided like the plague in the past. Today was different, it was fun and not just a chore that had to be done in order to get something to wear. Chantel’s enthusiastic energy had rubbed off on me as well. She had been so passionate about every item in her shop and her genuine delight seeing me wear them really pushed me from my normal conservative comfort zone, but after all of the things I had worn, I now had a much better idea of what I liked and didn't like.

I hopped into my car, placing the handbag and shopping bag over on the passenger's seat before fastening my seat belt. As I hit the ignition the stereo burst into life playing a Chili Peppers song I loved, the volume knob got a big twist and I pulled out to head home singing along.
I managed to hit the end of day school traffic and in places it was heavy, I wasn't in a rush so it didn't matter, but I didn't want to spend all afternoon getting home either and decided to use the back streets to get home. I was singing very loudly, and very terribly, to another song as I turned into a smaller lane when I caught a flash of red and blue lights in my rear vision mirror.

I pulled over thinking the police car was going speed on past, but it pulled in behind me. I knew I hadn't been doing anything wrong, my registration and warrant of fitness were both all up to date but I quickly felt guilty, like I was wanted for a murder I knew nothing about, or some other ridiculous reason, many of which were all playing out in my head.
I killed the stereo and wound the window down as the officer approached my door,

“Good afternoon Miss, I have just stopped you for a random breath test. Have you had anything to drink this afternoon?”

The guilt levels reduced slightly, I knew I hadn't been drinking, but then again, maybe someone had slipped some booze into a drink to frame me…
I shook my head and smiled as the cop produced the breath tester holding it close to my mouth,
“Please state your name and address in the machine” he politely requested .

“Simon McKenize. Totara Street, Christchurch..”

He drew the machine back and watched the screen for the result to appear, a long beep sounded and he smiled showing me the screen (PASS. NO ALCOHOL DETECTED)

“All clear, thank you…”
I let out a breath of relief, even though that was the result I had fully expected.
“May I see your Drivers license please..” He asked, as he leaned across the windscreen to check the warrant stickers

“Ummm, yep! Sure…” without really thinking I instinctively went for my wallet that normally lived in my back pocket, as my hand brushed the back of my dress feeling the thin material over the lingerie below, I was suddenly very aware that I was a guy in a dress…
I reached across to my handbag and retrieved the license from my wallet and handed it to the waiting police officer. My heart went from a fast beat to a constant hum as he examined the license then looked back at me, he did a double take and looked again,

“Old photo Huh?” he said with a smile, handing it back.

“Yeah…” I replied in a soft meek voice

“Oh. Well, thank you Miss. Enjoy your evening.”

The rest of the trip home was spent in a far more sombre mood than it had begun, with a cocktail of emotions overcoming me, mostly guilt, embarrassment and shame. I’d just been caught crossdressing by a cop, and yeah I know it's not illegal but I still felt all of those feelings anyway. I pulled into the driveway completely deflated and stayed sitting in the car for a bit in silence. A text message alert from Mel snapped me from the slump,
(cant wait till tomorrow. C U soon XXX)
I figured that I had done my dash sulking. I opened the door, scooped up the contents from the passenger's seat and headed inside. The noise of my heels clicking on the concrete path drew my attention and I watched my feet as I walked the rest of the way to the door, slightly mesmerized at the way the light was reflecting off my stockings as I moved.

The bags got dumped on the bench as I past heading to the couch, I swept my dress under me as I dropped in, lifting my legs to rest my shoes on the edge of the coffee table,
“What the fuck am I doing…” I said, letting out a long sigh and let my head fall back over the back of the couch.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there like that but it was long enough for my neck to start locking in place. When I remembered I had left Mel’s message on “read” without replying and tried to sit up, it took a second or two for my muscles to straighten my head up. I grabbed my phone out of my bag then returned to the same position on the couch, re-opening the message from Mel.
(looking forward to seeing u 2, not sure about the Simone stuff tho)

Within in seconds the three dots appeared from Mel's reply being typed in, before they stopped and my phone rang,

“Hey you…” I answered,

“Hey yourself. Are you ok?”

“Yeah…” I replied struggling not sound flat.

“Mmmmm, Ok, don’t believe ya! So, what's happened?”

As much as I didn’t want to tell her I’d spent the day cross dressing and trying on girls clothes, it all just came flooding out along with some extra emotion when I got to the embarrassing bit about being stopped by the cop. I didn't burst into tears but I would have only needed a gentle nudge to set the waterworks off. Lucky for me Mel is an incredible human and she managed to calm me down, making make me realize I hadn't actually done anything bad or wrong. Mel said she found it all very sexy that, one, I had been confident enough in myself to even agree to the Simone situation in the first place, Then secondly “how friggin smokin' hot” I looked when I was Simone. That made me smile, then the smile turned into a chuckle when she started describing in great detail what she planned to do with me over the next few days. By the time she had finished I had nearly fully bounced back into a good mood.

As Mel established a shift in my frame of mind her focus shifted to the details of my day modelling the various garments, she asked what sort of things I’d worn and how I had looked in them, I did my best to explain, but not knowing a lot of the style names, became a bit muddled. I suggested she should keep an eye on the Facebook and Insta pages of the shop to see for herself.

“Did they take photos of everything?” she asked, sounding a little surprised.

“Yeah, the girl that owns the shop took photos of pretty much everything tried on. She said she wanted to use them for her marketing..”

“Ah cool, did she offer to pay you anything?” Mel asked.

I told her that she had tried to give me the dress I picked out, but couldn’t do it knowing about the overheads she more than likely was operating under, and it was nice to have been able to help out. Mel thought I was a “Real wee sweetie” and said I had possibly saved the shop around five hundred dollars or so in fees, plus whatever social media attention they got because of it.

“Ya reckon it’d be that much?” I asked, not fully convinced her numbers were correct.

“Yeah for sure! Good models aren’t cheap. Neither are social marketing campaigns. The shop Kamyla works in did a promo shoot a while ago, and it cost them a fortune. I did them a deal on the makeup but even that wasn’t cheap..”

“Huh, well shit, I didn't know…” I didn't regret helping Chantel out for a second, but maybe I’d undersold myself a bit. All I could think of was Chalky, telling me why I paid him to get the deals. It also then occurred to me why the marketing team at Millbrook had been so keen to do a deal. Maybe there was good money in this game after all and maybe I should also be calling "Marilyn Winter-Jones" for a chat.

“...You still there?” Mel asked.

“Ahhh, yeah sorry just daydreaming there for a bit” I giggled.

"Nice…Well anyway, I need to get moving… and you need to pack. Make sure you get heaps of sleep and drink plenty of fluids coz you're gonna need it" Mel finished by making a Tiger growling noise.
It was definitely a Tiger, I had to ask to be sure it wasn't a Volkswagen Beetle trying to start with a flat battery,

I ended our call and noticed a message from Dylan,
(Hey, what time am I picking you up?)

(Not sure, I'll message you when we're getting close)

(Sweet as. C U tomorrow xoxo)

The little hugs and kisses he signed off with did make me wonder what he thought was going to happen tomorrow.

Simones Instagram account continued to grow organically, with more new followers and mentions in other people's posts, the most noticeable was from Chantel’s shop.
(How great does this new party dress look! Thanks to super babe @Simonelilly for modelling our clothes)
The photo actually looked reasonably professional with my smiling mug center stage, even the lighting appeared to be on point to my untrained eye.

Anyway, Mel was right, I needed to pack and then get some sleep. After sweeping throughout the house making sure I had all of Simones belongings gathered up, I started loading it all into the suitcase. It turned out the biggest case I had was only just large enough, then I remembered about the stack of makeup stuff still in the bathroom.
All of that looked like it would almost need another case on its own, but I managed to shove it all in. It wasn't until I did another walk around the house and spotted myself in the mirror that it dawned on me, I was still wearing my dress and heels. Even more stuff to fit in, Great!

After jamming the final items away and having a shower, I was ready to plug myself into the human charger. It felt odd to be wearing "Simon undies" again, but a lack of unpacked options left no other choice. I reluctantly set my alarm for a quarter to six, I've never been a morning person and the thought of being awake that early did not impress me at all.

It seemed that I'd only just shut my eyes before the alarm rudely interrupted me,
"Ah for fuck sake, it can't be morning already…" I moaned, rolling over to hit snooze for a few more minutes.
It seemly went straight off again, my hand still resting on the snooze from the first hit.
"Aaaaah farrrrrrk…" I grunted as I threw the covers off to make sure I didn't go back to sleep.
I was also busting for a pee so I had to get up anyway. Zombie me staggered into the toilet then back to the bedroom to get dressed, I'd packed everything Simone related away so it was a Simon tee-shirt, hoodie and jeans that I put on. It was probably for the best anyway, that's what I told myself, spending the day with Dad would be easier as Simon.

Just after twenty past six I lugged my case outside to wait for Dad, and I didn’t need to wait for more than a couple of minutes before his Ute pulled up and stopped.
"Hurry up, we haven't got all day to piss around…" he hollered.

"Right-o, cool ya jets…" I replied, loading the suitcase into a gap on the back seat.

"What's in the trailer?" I asked as I tried to unjam the seatbelt and put it on while Dad was already pulling away.

"The tent and all the promo shit" Dad grunted. "What's the go with ya hair?"

I shrugged, "Felt like a change…"

Other than politely critiquing the random driving habits of the other early morning motorists, Dad didn't say much for the first ten minutes. Even a very loud tummy rumble didn't warrant a mention, the second one that followed not long after did however,

"Fucken hell, what's happening in there?" Dad asked with a sly grin.

"I'm hungry…"

"How can you be hungry? Didn't you have anything for breakfast?"

Dad was shocked when I told him I had just got up, got dressed and waited for him.

"Ya lazy little prick… I had bacon and eggs for brekkie, bloody good too.."

"Frig, what time did you get up? Did you shit the bed or something?"

After whining about how hungry I was, and pointing out every place we drove by that was open and what sort of food they would've had, I thought Dad had caved as he pulled into a servo,

"Don't piss around in there, as soon as the tank is full I'm leaving, with or without you"

I assumed he was only joking but it wasn't worth the risk. I grabbed a steak and cheese pie, a can of red bull and a bag of Jet Plane lollies and was back in the Ute before Dad had finished.

Dad shook his head "That's healthy…"

"Breakfast of champions!" I announced, ripping open the Jet Planes.

Dad held his hand open, "I'll have the green ones…"

"I'll tell Mum…" I smirked…

"No you won't. Don't be an arsehole... Pass 'em over…"

The next hour or so was the most Dad had talked while driving that I could ever recall. I told him about the online racing against "Gibbo" from Aussie, which he thought was pretty cool. Then he asked about Mitch's new deal, I told him what I knew…

"Pretty good going for a poofter…" Dad dropped in at the end of discussion like it was no big deal…

"What?..." I asked in a bit of shock.

"Mitch!… He's gay…" Dad said

"What?..." I repeated

"Shit yeah, bent like a banana. Has been for years! I'm surprised you didn't know…"

Trying to act like I had no idea, I asked him, "How do you know that?"

Dad looked at me like I was stupid, "Shit mate, pretty obvious. He always had is eye on you at the karting years ago, I knew then!"

"Really? I had no idea!" I lied.

"Huh…Bullshit…" Dad mumbled. "I can read you like a book mate! Always could!... So when did he make a move on you?"

I felt my face redden up and my mouth went dry.

"Mmm thought so…" Dad scooped another couple of lollies out of the bag and shoved them all in his mouth at once.

"...last week… in Taupo" I loudly whispered

"Surprised it took him that long. It'll be that new haircut."

The uncomfortable silence lasted for a few more K's down the road, before Dad glanced over at me
"I don't care if you're gay mate, but you can do better than that wee cock wobble…He's all about himself, that boy!"

I had no idea what to say to that exactly..
"I'm not gay…" I mumbled.

"Yeah, well like I said, I don't care if you are!... I love you to bits, and…." Dad stopped, I looked over to see him wipe the corner of his eye.

"...and… what?"

Dad drew in a large breath through his nose,
"... and, I would rather find you with a guy than find you dead with a note…"

It took a few minutes for that to sink in,
"Love ya Dad…"

"Yep!" Was his reply.
I knew he meant he loved me as well and just didn't want to give away his true emotions. Years ago, one of Dad's friends had a son that took his own life, I was too young to understand what was going on, but I remember how upset Dad was at the time. It was actually the first time I remember seeing him cry.

Just before Eight my phone buzzed with a message from Mel,
(so excited. Can't wait. where are you?)

As I typed my reply Dad asked who it was,
"Mel wants to know where we are..."

"You quite like this girl, aye?"

The next twenty minutes flew by as I spent the time telling Dad all about how awesome Mel was, he just listened, not that he had much of an option for anything else, with my non-stop talking.

“So is she a buckled wheel or what?” Dad asked when I had finished talking.

“Huh?”

“You know…” Dad screwed up his face, twisted his hand and patted the top of his head and then rocked around in his seat, “A buckled wheel… There has to be something wrong with her to want to hang out with you..” Dad burst out laughing and slapped the top of the steering wheel.

“What a dickhead…” I turned and looked out the window trying not to let him see me laughing at his stupid attempt to wind me up.

(Where are you now?) Dylan wanted to know.
(almost at Twizel, should be in Cromwell around 12ish) I replied back
(cool, meet you at the big fruit?)

“Frig, is that her texting you again? She must be desperate..” Dad asked, looking over at my phone.

“Nah, it’s Dylan, he'll meet us at the big fruit about twelvish..” I answered.

“Ah yep. Might swing into Twizel for a top up… and I need a pie. That one you had this morning smelt bloody good…”

After a splash and dash for the Ute's fuel tank and loading up with more supplies after we both had a pee, we hit the road again. Dad was trying to eat the pie one handed while still driving, really grossing me out with how he was trying to chew the super hot pie without burning his mouth.

“Fuck sake!… Let the bloody thing cool down a bit ya pig…”

“Nah, it's alright…” he spat out between gasps of air…When he cleared the mouthful he had he spoke again, “Message your mate and tell him not to worry, I’ll drop you into Queenstown…”
Then he sucked in another mouthful of hot mince and pastry.

“Are you sure, that’ll add at least another hour or so on to your trip….”

“Yep, she’ll be right. I want to see what this new wee Shelia of yours is like anyway…”

“Friggin hell! Wipe your mouth you silly ol’ prick.. there's mince everywhere… and you’ve dropped it all over your shirt… Fucken hell, you should be in a home…”

Dad laughed as he looked down to see the lump of pie filling stuck to his chest, then he flicked it off with his finger, straight at me. I shook my head in disgust and sent a message to Dylan letting him know the change of plans.

(Ah ok, no probs. Catch up later?)
(yeah mate for sure)

When we finally pulled up in the car park area outside Anna's salon in Queenstown, I dug through the glove box and found a wet wipe so Dad could clean the dried pie off himself. A big wet patch looked better than a food stain, but even still, how embarrassing.

I pointed towards Anna's and we started walking, with Dad stretching out his arms making those weird grunting noises that only Dad’s know how to make. I opened the front door and Dad pushed past me to get inside first, grinning as he did so,

“Yeah, well, Shit before the Shovel…” I grinned back. I suddenly felt an awkward nervousness about seeing Mel again. What if she doesn't like me now, she had really only ever seen the Simone version as well, maybe Simon me isn't her type.

“YAH! You’re here already!” Mel yelled as she leapt possibly a full two metres out from behind the dividing wall, latching her arms and legs around me like a Koala… a sexy Koala. Shit she smelt good. I held her tight as she planted a huge kiss on my lips, she drew back slightly and in a soft but way to louder voice said,
”I can't wait to get you home into bed so I can…” I quickly cut her off…

“Ahhh Mel.. This is my Dad.. Dad, this is Mel…”

She swung around on my neck to see Dad still standing in the corner shaking his head…

“Oh! My! God!, I'm so embarrassed….” Mel slipped off me and walked towards Dad holding her hand out “I’m so sorry… I’m Mel”

“I gathered that…” Dad said with a huge, cheeky smile on his face.