A Man of the Scriptures

Naomi was introducing Jacob to her family. Whilst her family were nowhere near to being orthodox Jews Jacob’s family were members of an ultra modern reform synagogue that was regarded with considerable caution by most other of their faith. Unfortunately so much caution that David her father realised that due to minimal interaction with them by the majority of local Jewry in truth very little was known about them for certain and most of what folk thought they knew was in fact speculation and gossip. He loved his daughter and was aware that there was something developing between Naomi and Jacob that could be the makings of a happy marriage. Rebecca, Naomi’s mother wanted to be a grandmother, but Naomi had wished to finish her education before embarking upon a family and finally was now a surgeon. Naomi had met Jacob who was an anaesthetist at work, and her mother was exceedingly glad that her thoughts had turned to marriage. However, both Naomi’s parents were concerned about the synagogue that Jacob’s family belonged to, for though neither believed the more extreme tales, the rumours were disturbing, and both sought further information before they were prepared to give the couple their blessing.

After they had eaten dinner the adults retired to the room the children referred to as ‘The grown up’s room’. Jacob was aware he was in for a grilling, but having grown up from birth under the influence of his parent’s synagogue he didn’t see it as a matter of defending his family’s beliefs rather as an opportunity to explain them to outsiders who rarely could be bothered to seek enlightenment. Meanwhile, Anna, Naomi’s great grandmother, was helped into her rocking chair which was in the corner of the room facing the open fireplace which was currently providing a great deal of heat.

David started by asking, “Tell me, Jacob, I have heard your Rabbi smokes cigars and cigarettes. Indeed he is rumoured to be a heavy smoker. Is that so? And I have heard that he smokes in the synagogue whilst the people are worshipping. Is that so?”

“Indeed he smokes. Now the cancer preventing drugs are available he is of the opinion that it is perfectly reasonably for all and any to enjoy a smoke. I have to disagree with your last remark. As far as I am aware he has never smoked in the synagogue, indeed I have heard him say that till the air extraction fans are upgraded that would be most inconsiderate to worshippers who do not themselves smoke.”

The family did not know what to make of that and all were surprised that Anna had said nothing merely listening intently and rocking gently in her chair.

David was not happy with Jacob’s response for Jacob had not mentioned smoking in the synagogue would be shewing a lack of respect to God. David waited to regain his composure before continuing. “There is talk that your Rabbi is a heavy drinker and that he buys whisky by the case. A dozen one litre bottles at a time and such a case is delivered every week. Surely that is an exaggeration, Jacob?”

“Not entirely. You have to understand he is a very big man who can drink what would put a smaller man on his back. In his defence I should say he only drinks quality single malt whiskies and is a most generous man to any and every guest. He maintains that a drink helps him to concentrate when he is studying the holy scriptures. Too there are many references to drinking and indeed to drinking to drunkenness in those scriptures. He would never appear in the synagogue drunk, for he maintains that slurring his words to the point that worshippers would not be able to understand him would be treating them with contempt. He would never do that.”

David who was rapidly coming to believe he was having a nightmare waited for his heart rate to slow before ignoring all his other questions bar one. The one he considered to be the most fundamental one which concerned matters he had not originally been prepared to accept contained any truth what so ever. He noted Anna still hadn’t reacted, but was still listening intently and still rocking gently. “I have heard that your Rabbi is promiscuous and has had relations with many women, some of them married women, both Jews and gentiles alike. Is that true?”

“Our Rabbi is indeed a man of the scriptures and he is particularly learned concerning the many wives and concubines of King Solomon, and other noted leaders of our people at that time. Some of those women were indeed married and not all were Jews, and he maintains he is following in a very old and traditional custom. He is indeed a man most worthy of respect in that he lives the scriptures.”

Finally Anna indicated she wished to speak and all her family fell silent for she was the matriarch and all knew ultimately whether Jacob was acceptable or not would be her decision. Her voice was cold and absolutely expressionless when she asked, “Tell me, young man, this Rabbi of yours, is he Jewish?”