CHAPTER 54
To my surprise, Tiff wouldn’t talk to me when she first arrived. A small, huddled figure reeking of fear, she almost clung to Kim, who looked at me over the child’s shoulder with a little smile that clearly said “Leave me to deal with her”

“Tiff?”

“Yeah?”

“Going to take you out the back. Quieter there, just us girls, OK?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. That OK?”

“S’pose so… Is there a door?”

My guts clenched just then. Kim drew her to her feet, heading for the other house. She left a comment over her shoulder.

“Back in a few, Debbie”

They were gone for over forty minutes, as I fretted and fidgeted in the living room, picking up books that I couldn’t concentrate on enough to read. I had encountered some aggressive rejection from girls---Kim had been a prime example--- as well as nervousness and uncertainty, but this was the first time I had come up against terror. It shook me.

I had just succumbed to the urge to do something, anything, apart from sit and wait, moving into the kitchen to fill the kettle, when Kim reappeared, slumping down into an armchair with a call of “If you’re making a cuppa…”

I settled myself into the routine of brewing and pouring two cups, then took them through the door, settling myself down opposite her. She tried a sip, grimaced and set the cup aside.

“Too hot, but I already knew that”

“What’s going on with her, Kim?”

“Short version? She’s scared shitless, Debbie. Got a bit of her story out of her, but she’s been through an awful lot. Girls are showing her photo albums and stuff, happy times we’ve had. Us, here in the House, yeah? Stuff from that Plas y Brenin week and things. She has had a rough time, so if I get a bit jokey when I go through it, it’s just a bit of me coping my own way. Shit, I thought my Dad was bad!”

“Go on”

“Ah, Debbie… she’s almost fifteen. Actually came out as a girl to her parents nearly a year ago. She says her Mam was sort of OK, but her Dad was really accepting. Her Mam even took her out bloody shopping!”

“For clothes and that?”

“Yup. In a skirt, all that stuff we all dreamt of. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Even had her Dad buying her stuff”

She tried another sip of her tea, managing to swallow some. I sat and waited for her to find the next words.

“Yeah, sounded good. Then she realises he’s buying… The stuff he is getting for her is all underwear, or ‘sexy’ stuff. I mean, I got Nell into that dress for New Year, but that was for her, yeah? I really thought it would make her feel good about herself, and I still think I was right, that it did exactly that, made her feel good about herself”

“Kim?”

“Yeah?”

“Tiff. Talking about her, okay?”

“Yeah… Anyway, she realises her Dad’s getting a bit too interested, if you catch my meaning. He starts asking for little father-daughter dress-up evenings when her Mam’s out, and all I could think of was that phrase, ‘our little secret’, thing you read about what the paedos do, yeah?”

“Did she tell anyone?”

Her mouth really twisted just then, and once more I saw the girl who had told me so clearly where to go when I had first met her.

“Told her Mam, isn’t it? So she shouts out about the girl being a perve, asks her hasn’t she fucking done enough for her son? So much for fucking acceptance from the woman. Then Tiff gets booted out”

“Shit!”

“Yup. You know what I think? She went to her mother first because she thinks ‘mother love’, and so on, but I suspect that her pervy Dad was the one who pushed Mam that way”

She took a real slurp of her tea at that, spending a while swilling it around in her mouth.

“Bad taste, Deb. So she’s out on her ear, looking a bit glammed up because Dearest fucking Daddy selected her wardrobe. Manages to slip into a night club for a bit of a warm, before she gets kicked out when they realise she’s not buying any booze. Usual stuff, similar story to me, to Charlie, lots of our girls”

“Our girls?”

Kim fixed me with a flat stare of challenge.

“Yeah. I think so. Got a problem with that, punk?”

She couldn’t keep up the pose, and her earlier mood was too strong, distaste and anger pushing away the hint of a smirk.

“You did call me the assistant warden, or something! Anyway, as I was saying, just like Charlie. Ends up in Maccy D’s, last bit of cash, and someone drops into the seat opposite, says she looks cold”

I felt the chill start to spread down from my shoulders.

“Not…”

“Yes. Description is spot on. Charlie had to go out of the room for a bit, she was shaking so much. I thought she was going to throw up, Debbie. Now, I know you’ve probably got the right idea, but there is more, more that I need to tell”

“That sounds…”

“Ominous? Like really worrying? She was in that same room for a fucking week, Debbie, and it wasn’t just the arsehole with the wonky eye, but that one Charlie recognised as a copper. A week before she got out of the front door, when wonky eye was pissed one night. She is sort of OK, down there, but her mind, yeah? I am getting fed-up of looking at what men have done…”

The sound of heavy footsteps on stairs; the prayer that they would continue on to some other poor kid’s room. Charlie, my new friend, that is, wasn’t the only one feeling sick right then.

“So how is she now?”

Kim grinned suddenly, almost back to herself.

“One of the others is wrapped round her, and they’re cuddled up and talking about all sorts of stupid shit, telly, pop stars, bloody boy band crap. Seems to be working, at least a bit”

“Who’s the healer, love?”

“Charlie, believe it or not. Must be something about having met the same arseholes. Hell. Probably the wrong word, given, well”

She tried her tea again, and sighed on finding it cool enough to swig straight down.

“Thinking about when I came here, Debbie. I left the others to do a whip round, find some ‘jamas or a nighty that might fit, and then show her the bathroom. Let her wash those bastards off her skin. Then, if you don’t mind, I will go off and find Phil, and remind myself that not all men are twats. I think Charlie has her in hand, but the rest of us have let her know… The rest of us have explained what this place is, and who you are. There’s a pack of mince in the fridge, plus the makings of a Bolognese style tom sauce, so I thought you could get them all together and make a spaggy bol, get messy, have a laugh, just be normal for an evening. Let her see this place as a shelter and not a hide, like those birdwatching ones”

She rose, collecting both mugs to take to the kitchen, then stopped at the door, turning back to me.

“Debbie?”

“Yes, love?”

“What are you doing in the Summer? Holidays, all that? Thinking of going off to see Pat again?”

“I hadn’t really worked it out, but, well, yes. Why do you ask?”

“I had a little chat with Gemma a couple of weeks ago, and then these two girls… I don’t think either Charlie or Tiff are up to being outside with loads of strangers about, especially men. We’ve got time to get them settled here, used to this place, but not to get them comfortable anywhere else. Gemma wants to stay in work; says Frank has a downer on holidays for some reason. She’ll be here in the evenings, and if you like, I can stay here as well. Ruth gets a chance at a holiday with her boy that way”

She grinned.

“Not all work for me, though. Phil and me, we’re going to look for somewhere for him to live near Uni, somewhere big enough for…”

She laughed, and it was an absolutely happy sound.

“Not doing no more shagging in a single bed, if I can help it!”

I went to her, wrapping her as tightly as I could without dislodging the mugs she still held.

“Pat will miss you, love”

“She’ll understand, love, and I mean that word, Debbie. How I was, when, you know, when you took me in, warmed me up, you and Sparky and Rosie and the rest, it’s what you told me about your Mam and Dad, yeah? I’ve got obs I can never pay back, but that’s not a problem, cause I can do it that paying forward way. Tell Pat that I miss her, and I will be back up there next year, or the year after, okay?”

She broke the hug gently, placing the mugs onto the work top.

“Going to get out now, before I have to do my eyes again. One of the others will come through to tell you when it’s safe. And give Gemma a ring, see if she can bring something nice back, my treat. Don’t wait up; I think Phil’s parents are away tonight”

She grabbed her old leather and was gone, leaving the warmth of her smile behind. I started combing through the cupboards for the ingredients she had mentioned, and after another forty minutes, Chloe was rapping on the kitchen door.

“Debbie?”

“Yes, love?”

“We think the new girl’s a bit better now. She’s been in the bath, like Kim told us to do, and we’ve told her who you are”

“Sorry?”

The young woman sighed.

“Her head was full of stories about care homes, abuse, sort of thing. Others put her straight, so she’d like to say hello properly”

“Well, leave her in the other side for now, okay? I will need a hand moving things to that kitchen. We are having a team effort tonight, a spaggy bol, and we’ll all eat together at the big table. No books, no telly. I am going to give Gemma a call and see if she can bring pudding home for us all”

Kim’s advice turned out to be spot on. We gathered together in the back kitchen, and as vegetables were peeled and sliced, a massive pan of water set to boil, a heavy tomato sauce cooked into the mince, and just as Gemma arrived with a few of her trade-marked cardboard boxes, I actually heard a laugh coming from the new resident. Gemma was upbeat.

“Hiya, you lot! Got three big fruit tarts, and some cream to pour over it, and… Frank sent this!”

She held up a small plastic box, with a broad grin.

“Debbie said you were having spag bol, so Frank says will we want something to put on the pasta to make it smell like sick!”

Rachel got the joke first, with a shout of “Parmesan! Yay!”, and Gemma nodded.

“Ready-grated! Hiya, I’m Gemma. I’m the real cook in this house. We haven’t met yet”

With a sudden rush of courage, a slight figure in heart-printed pyjamas and a pink dressing gown held out her hand.

“Hi. I’m Tiffany, but everyone calls me Tiff”