CHAPTER 97
I turned to look back at Frank, who simply stood, mouth open.

“Myron?”

“Do I LOOK like any fucking Myron, Frank?”

Marlene’s gaze flicked to our hands, still joined, as had become second nature.

“Ah. MARY!”

Another drag queen poked her head through the archway, and while I couldn’t actually see her real eyebrows, I assumed they were raised.

“Yes, Marlene?”

“Can you cover this bar for a few. I need to Have Words In Private”

“Course!”

Marlene turned back to us.

“That door”, she said, and walked over to the one I knew led to the foot of the stairs up to her flat. Frank and I followed her into the little space between her side door and the bottom step, pulled the door to behind us, and as soon as the latch clicked, she folded her arms under her bosom and fixed Frank with a flat stare.

“And?”

Frank looked shocked.

“I didn’t… I mean, I knew this was going to be a gay bar, Debbie told me, but I didn’t know it was yours. Sorry, My—Marlene. I didn’t, I mean, it wasn’t. Shit. Debbie, I assume you two know each other”

Marlene snorted.

“Rather better than you know her, I suspect, Frank. Although I suspect you know her rather well, given that you seem to be all over her like a dose of fucking scabies. Debbie, love, my cousin, Frank. Don’t need an answer now, because I know why you are here, now. What changed your mind about fucking benders, then?”

Suddenly, Marlene sagged.

“Sorry, Debbie, my sweet; that was unfair. Wasn’t it, Frank, dearest? Unfair?”

Frank took a number of very slow and deep breaths.

“Marlene. Got that right now, okay? I know about Debbie, if that is what you meant. O also know Debbie, which is the important thing here. Do you mind if I explain a few things to her?”

“Go ahead, though I might need to correct you, and I might do that by kicking you where it fucking hurts”

“Fine. You do that. Debbie, this is the… the offspring of Dad’s older brother. Dad and Uncle Vic were a bit traditional, and as you can see, my cousin here is far from that. He…”

Frank looked up at Marlene, then tried a little harder.

“She?”

Marlene nodded sharply.

“Already given that lesson to Deb’s brood. High time you caught up”

Frank grimaced, but he still had my hand.

“I was a lot younger, love”

That brought a slight thaw in my old friend’s expression, which Frank caught.

“Yes, exactly, cuz. That is where we stand, me and Debbie. Anyway, LOVE, I was a lot younger, and this one was getting the shit kicked out of him at school every day. Out of her. Dad didn’t care, Uncle Vic approved, I believe. Make a man out of him, that was his word, and what did I know? By the time I was old enough to start thinking for myself, this one had left school, left home, and Dad was saying he was off being a Nancy Boy and all that stuff. There was me, still at home, never had a second thought about what Dad said, never stepped up to help M…arlene with the bullies”

She snorted.

“You would have got fucking creamed, Frank, and you know it. Now, I am going to fly a kite here, and I will ask for forgiveness first. Debbie, how well do you two know each other?”

I was starting to worry a little, while still second-guessing myself. Was Frank bisexual? If he was, did that really change who he was? Fick.

“We know each other, er, intimately, Marlene”

Frank coughed.

“I think I know what you are asking, Marlene. Yes. I couldn’t miss it after that trial, could I?”

Marlene nodded.

“What is Debbie, Frank?”

My man’s head dropped, just for a second, before it came up again.

“She is the woman I love, and one day, well, hope to wed. That do as an answer?”

Marlene’s mouth twitched again, but once more, her eyebrows rose.

“Good answer, Frank. What am I?”

“A woman I should have been a better cousin to?”

“No, cuz. I am not a woman, although Marlene does make a fucking fabulous one. That is something you need to be very, very fucking clear about, or you will fuck RIGHT off from this woman and never, ever come near her again, for if you EVER fucking hurt her, I will disassemble every one of your vital parts and throw them in the fucking bay”

Frank was looking at his feet now, and Marlene’s tone softened.

“Debbie, love, Frank was never a bad kid, just insensitive and easily led. Frank: can I assume that you are trying to apologise?”

Frank shrugged, a hint of a smile just about visible.

“Not exactly something I had planned, was it? How many years has it been?”

“Fucking decades… Shit, you bastard! Debbie, got tissues? Marlene needs to dab the corners of her eyes, and she doesn’t have a mirror, so…”

I did the necessary, and then she hugged her cousin, my lover, carefully so that her face wasn’t damaged any more than it had already been by her tears.

“Frank, Debbie? How do we always manage to let things get so shitty for so long?”

My man shrugged.

“I ask myself that about me and her”

Marlene’s sarcasm came back with a rush.

“Debbie’s excuse was a fucking cunt of a kiddy-fiddling bastard called Cooper. What was your excuse, Frank?”

Another shrug.

“Combination of lack of contact and bloody stupidity, Marlene”

“That’ll do as an answer. How do you feel about Debbie?”

He turned to me, his fingers sliding between mine.

“I love this woman to bits, Marlene”

“Good. Hurt her and die, okay? Time to get in the bar again, as one of us has a fucking living to make. And Frank?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. Fucking far too late, but better than I could have hoped for. Better than…”

She breathed deeply a couple of times, staring into a corner.

“Keep it together, Marlene. No time to sort a new face out. Frank, Christmas present I didn’t expect. Family. Thank you. Now fuck off, both of you, and get partying. We have karaoke”

Back through the door, and the party was moving on and out and away from contact with reality for some. I caught Charlie having more than a casual snog with her boy, while Tiff was slumped against hers, Cathy and Nell were cheering on Leo, the poor sod, as he attempted to do a grave injustice to ‘Ace of Spades’, of all things, and as a relieved Frank made a beeline for the gents’, I found myself next to that Asian inspector, Patel. As Leo released the crowd from the purgatory of his performance, Diane took the mike.

The song in question had started out as ‘Like A Virgin’, which had Di’s blonde mate Candice making all sorts of suggestive gestures at Blake before starting on poor Jon, as well as leaving the rest of us to question our assumptions about musical conventions, which is actually a long-winded way of saying that Di’s singing was absolutely awful. I found myself thinking that if Marlene ever needed to follow through on her threats against Frank, she would simply need to have a chat with Di.

My opinion was confirmed a little later, when Diane reconstructed ‘I Will Survive’, dear god.

Patel was grinning away, and then of course needed an introduction to Frank, and Naomi was asking about something, Marlene stopping by for a check on Frank, and I took Seb and Jake to one side for The Talk (and confirmation of their addresses), and…

So many things going on, and as I waited for another drink, Frank asked the obvious question, as to whether I was okay about what Marlene had told us, which started me laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh, love! For a second or two, I thought she was going to tell me you were, you know? That you were bi?”

“Would that have been a problem?”

I thought for a little while, giving the question the attention it deserved. Malcolm and Graham, Jon and Rhys, Di’s skinny mate wrapped around Lexie’s doctor, Lexie herself---oh! I hadn’t realised she was on THAT bus… Back to the point.

I knew Frank had an ex-wife. If it had been an ex-whatever, husband… would that make him any less ‘Frank’?

“No, love. No. Still you, yeah?”

I paused, just for a second, before asking, “But you’re not bi, are you?”

He smiled gently, shaking his head, and I reached up to his cheek, cupped the back of his head and drew his face down for a kiss, and yes, it was still him. As we kissed, I caught Sammy Patel heading for the exit, typical management style, clearly so that when things really got silly, he could deny all knowledge of any serious misdeeds.

We worked our way through the evening, and at the end I stood watching Charlie and Tiff head off with two young men, and crapped myself with worry. That was made even worse, because I had to take the rest of the girls back home, which meant no Frank, but did mean, oddly, that Kim rode with us.

“No Phil, love?”

“Ah, one of us has work tomorrow”

“On Christmas Day?”

She nodded.

“Just an experiment, Debbie. My idea, so I get to do the early slog. Idea is that we catch all those people whose hangover really needs a Full Welsh, or even just a heart-starter coffee, and, well, I had a word with Sparky. Doing bacon rolls and teas at the back door, he is”

“From your kitchen? Ruth’s?”

“Yup. I owe him, Debbie. Just thought it would be a nice Christmas present. See how it goes, just this once. Pay it forward and back at the same time, isn’t it?”

I couldn’t argue with that one, and so I made sure I was up early the next morning, my empty bed no longer exerting the pull it had once held, and saw her off to the Olive, settling myself down with one of Poucher’s photo books as I let the girls organise their own morning while I fretted on the lack of a call from Charlie and Tiff. When my mobile rang, I nearly jumped out of the chair, but it turned out to be Diane. What else could I do but take the piss?

“Morning, Di! Bright and early after last night, aren’t you?”

There was just a little apprehension in her voice, and I could imagine the ambush memories fighting for attention with the ‘What did I do?’ questions.

“It wasn’t that heavy a night!”

“Says Queen Karaoke the First!”

“Shit. Was I that bad?”

I had to snort at her reply.

“No, not at all. You had all the right notes. Just for different songs to the ones you were trying to sing. Anyway, what’s up?”

She paused, which was always a bad sign with her.

“Charlie and Tiff with you?”

Shit. Keep it bright,

“No. Randy little sods are still out”

“You worried?”

I should have known better than to try and outface her.

“Not this time, Di. I made bloody sure I knew exactly where they were going off to. Vetted the places before I let them go off, too. They will call me before noon, and if not, I will ring your lot”

“I should have known. You weren’t exactly solo last night, either”

Fuck. Why was she calling me on a Christmas morning, exactly? Not about the two girls. Was it Frank?

“Where are you, girl? Home?”

“Nope. In that café over the road”

“Give me five minutes, OK?”

“Want me to get you a coffee or something?”

“If you don’t mind. White Americano, please”

I grabbed my winter-weight fleece and hurried out of the door, calling to Nicky to let the others know I would be out for a few minutes, and strode over to the Olive. Two lads I recognised as regulars at Harry’s place were sitting over old copies of the local freesheet, empty plates set to one side, which vindicated Kim’s idea, and I caught Sparky’s grin and wave from the kitchen as I collected my coffee from Kim. She whispered to me as she passed over the mug.

“What does Di want, Debbie?”

“Don’t know. I’ll find out, okay?”

I settled myself across from the policewoman, getting straight to the point.

“Is it something about Frank? Are you here to deliver some warning or other?”

She reached over the table and took my hand. Shit.

“Nothing like that, love. I recognised him, is all, and that’s all I know. Gemma’s boss, isn’t it?”

I nodded in agreement.

“He’s not why I am here, love. What you tell me about Frank is down to you. Your life, your business. All I ever need to know is that you are safe and happy, but later. I have news you need to know about. Charlie Cooper and Joe Evans”

All my worries dropped like dead birds. Cooper and Evans?

“What the hell? They can’t be out, surely?”

“Um, no, not that, and no, it’s not that they’re connected to each other. They’re… Shit. They’re both dead, woman”

Fuck. I couldn’t find the words, any of them, for a few seconds, but when they arrived, they brought an avalanche of thoughts tumbling behind them.

“That’s why you wanted to know about Tiff and Charlie, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Exactly”

“Are you able to tell me what happened to them?”

“Within limits”

There was something else going on, evident in how she was staring at me, and I asked myself what other games a certain Wonky-Eyed Cunt might have engaged in, for I knew full well what Cooper’s hobbies had involved. Get her somewhere secure, away from Kim’s ears.

“Of course. Want to come over to the House? We can talk in the first house. I’ll ask the girls to stay away for a while”

We finished our drinks, and I took her straight into the kitchen; the smell of Sparky’s work had left me salivating.

“I shouldn’t ask, from what I know about your Mam, but have you had breakfast? I am doing myself a bacon roll, and you’d be welcome to one yourself”

“Go ahead”

I started the process, pan on the gas to heat, a couple of rolls cut and ready to butter, as Diane, not entirely calmly, gave me the news.

“Evans topped himself, it appears, Deb. Not going to give details”

“Of course, love. Cooper?”

“Someone else on the nonce wing took a dislike to him”

“Easy thing to do, I suppose. I wasn’t exactly fond of him…”

That was when I completely lost it, dropping the knife and somehow ending up slumped on the floor by the kitchen cupboards, a replay of when she had told me how we had lost Carl, and I felt like a five year-old complaining to their parents, and the words I found were the same ones.

“It’s not fucking fair, Di! Why does he get out of it so easily? Why?”

She found space to sit beside me, our legs across the kitchen floor as she hugged me, which was wrong, because I was the one who was supposed to be looking out for her. Class, Petrie.

“Get up, Di. I shouldn’t have put you through that”

She almost laughed at my words.

“Piss off, woman. That’s what friends are for. That’s… That’s what love is about, yeah? Bacon sarnie?”

I looked at the knife lying beside me, dropping it into the sink as I rose and collecting a clean one from the cutlery drawer as Di started to fiddle with the pan.

“Uh, yes. Give me a minute. Just going to wash my face”

“Want me to get it started for you?”

“Yes please. And thanks again”

Her grin was hollow, but still a grin. The thought was there.

“Piss off and wash, woman”

I hurried through the first room to the bathroom, a couple of the girls staring at my face. I simply said “Bit of unexpected news, nothing to worry about” and got back to the kitchen as soon as my face was sorted. I looked at the pan, and decided on pigging out, cracking two eggs to slip in with the bacon. Keep it steady now, Petrie. Busy hands to slow down the words.

“How are you getting home, girl? How did you get here; I didn’t see your car”

“Dad dropped me off. Blake is going to pick me up; he comes when called”

That actually made me laugh, but also gave me an idea.

“Could he pick the two girls up as well? Go for a little drive down the lock again? Somehow, that place seems right”

“Sort of, well, our place, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely. It’ll be a flask of tea and some biscuits, though. Bit cold for ice cream”

“I’ll let him know, Deb. Getting a little late for the girls to ring?”

Bloody telepathy, as my mobile immediately started trilling and shaking.

“Hiya, Nana! Bloody cold!”

“Yeah? Tiff, your fault for going out without a coat in the first place. How long?”

“just saying goodbye to the family, then Charlie’s meeting me outside”

“OK. Meet you on the corner in an hour. Yes, I’ll bring you a jacket!”

I gave Diane the nod to call her man, just as Charlie called the House landline, and I confirmed the arrangements with Tiff, before Diane and I got outside our egg and bacon rolls. Eating them was messy, which kept her mouth shut when it wasn’t filled with food. Talk later.

We met Blake outside the Olive, and I took the font seat for ease of navigation, the rendezvous being at a corner in Brewery Park. The girls were there, cuddled together in a freezing wind, and they were more than quick as they squeezed onto the back seat with Di. Tiff was trembling with cold.

“Ooh! Warmth! Taxi last night, didn’t realise how cold it would be. Morning, Di, Blake! What you doing here?”

I turned in my seat, keeping my tone as light as I could.

“What’s he doing here? Picking up two friends, one of whom was too stupid even to take a coat with her in December. Anyway, I’ve put some warmer kit in the boot, as well as some flasks and snacks. Lock gates, Blake?”

“I hear and obey, Mistress!”

Diane seemed to pick up on Charlie’s mood as quickly as me, because for once the only one talking was Tiff. I had to strain to hear their words.

“Charlie?”

“Mmf?”

“Everything OK?”

Charlie was silent for a long time, then asked her friend to answer first.

“Tiff?”

“Yeah?”

“How was last night?”

A burst of happy laughter.

“You mean at the pub? Diane, you really are shit at karaoke! I mean, well, not nasty, yeah, but I couldn’t stop laughing!”

I couldn’t see Di’s expression, but I could still imagine it. I flipped down the sun visor, and the vanity mirror confirmed my suspicions.

“I am trying to forget about that bit, woman”

Tiff laughed again, which was a relief, but we still had zilch from Charlie. The first girl was in full flow.

“Na, not what I meant. You were just so happy, made me smile! And that Chris and his fella, all over each other like a pair of octopus… octopuses… octopi… whatever”

I really struggled to hear Charlie’s next words.

“Not what I meant, love. How was it back at Jake’s?”

Tiff calmed down abruptly, but she was still on a happy roll..

“Oh, I see. Well, his parents, yeah, they’re all like old school, but I think they sort of get their head round me being…”

She mumbled a bit, then came back though in clear.

“Me being not exactly like other girls, yeah? But they seem to be OK, and they did us both a brekky. NO! Not in bed! Separate rooms!”

Charlie sounded lost, and I wanted to climb over the seat back to her.

“Yeah. Seb’s parents were OK too. Just, well, we got our tea in bed. Together”

Tiff’s voice started, then stopped abruptly.

“You dirty…!”

“Not like that, Tiff. Please: no questions? I just feel a little bit… I feel lost. Di? Can you understand? We’re sisters, aren’t we?”

My friend the copper was there; stay in your seat, Petrie

“Of course we are, love. Survivors, isn’t it?”

Charlie’s voice was still almost inaudible.

“Can I ask a personal question? About you and Blake?”

I Our driver nodded, and I understood him completely just then. Eyes on the road, keep us safe, but still aware of everything going on around him. He would have made a bloody good full patch. Di’s voice was soothing.

“Go ahead, love, though I might not answer”

“How did you feel, you know, when the two of you first got together?”

“Happy? Yes. That’s a good word”

“No. Not what I meant. Being dirty and all”

Oh, fuck. Leave it to Diane, woman. Stay in your seat. She didn’t fail us.

“Validated, Charlie. Washed clean. Loved. Wanted. Reborn. Finally able to step away from Ashley fucking Evans and all the others. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“I’m not asking you to say things unless you feel them, Di. But, well, yeah. What am I?”

“My friend. Student. Girl in need of a smile, isn’t it?”

“Tranny. Not real. Never will be”

I should have taken the back seat, but I hadn’t, so I had to leave it to someone who understood almost as well as I did. Before Di could answer, Charlie cut her off, her voice a lot stronger.

“No, love. Let me get this out while I can. Last night, it was all real, all acceptance, and Seb and I get back to his place, and his parents are so fucking happy to see me, cause all they care about is their son being happy. His Mam, she says, ‘I read this thing on Facethingy, and it was about a parent not wanting their child to say if they were gay or not, just to bring someone home, and they’d give them a cuppa and ask how they met, and it would be the same, boy or girl’. And I go to say something, and she stops me, and says, ‘But he’s brought a girl home, so that means I get another woman to gossip with, win-win’. So I get weepy…”

Another long pause, which none of us felt the need to fill, before Charlie spoke once more.

“All I am going to say about Seb… He was so fucking TENDER. I was just his girl, someone he loved, and all the time I am not real, and I am falling in love, and I haven’t got a fucking CLUE what to do about it!”

I sat there futilely, until Blake had found a parking space by the Waterfront and we stepped out of the car, jackets pulled from the boot for the two youngest. Tea poured, biscuits (and some sneaky chocs) set out, and I found myself hanging back from their three-way hug. I let them all settle before saying the words.

“Di has news for us all, girls. That’s why we came out here. Bit of stuff that needs keeping quiet for now, but you’ll understand. Charlie? You OK now?”

A hint of her usual grin.

“Yeah. Thanks, all. Bit of a shocker for me, falling in love. Bit lost. Not exactly had it before, have I?”

Tiff hugged her.

“Shut up and drink your tea, girl. Deb? Got a caramel one?”

Di composed herself, then began.

“I was given some news this morning that I need to share. No further than us here, till it gets made public, but Deb’s told you that already. Part one: Charlie Cooper”

Suddenly, we had the usual Charlie back with us.

“That one who raped Deb?”

Several of us nodded.

“Yes, Charlie, That one. Apparently, someone else on the vulnerable prisoners’ wing---”

Charlie spat out the word “Nonce!”

“Yes. Someone else on the nonce wing took a dislike to him. He’s gone. Permanently. There will be an inquest, no doubt, which might involve Deb and myself”

Tiff was the first to speak.

“Thanks, Di, Blake. We all know you will be there for us”

Whatever had gone on in the previous twenty-four hours had clearly lifted Tiff’s confidence.

“We know that all of our families and friends and loved ones will be there for us, right? But there’s more, isn’t it? Something for Charlie and me?”

Di agreed, her mouth twisting.

“Yes. It’s Joe Evans”

“Wonky-eyed cunt!”

“Yeah, Charlie. That one. He’s gone as well. Did it himself, it seems. That one will probably be an inquest as well, and they will be speaking to me and all the others involved in his arrest and trial. You both need to be ready for some old wounds to be opened”

I watched my girls, as they cuddled up together, Charlie’s eyes damp, and Toff’s new assurance came through again.

“No problems, sis. What can go wrong? We’ve got our friends, and our family, isn’t it? And our lovers”

Not the Christmas presents I had expected, but there was no way I was going to turn my nose up at any of them.