CHAPTER 53
I managed to wrestle down the words that all but shot out of my mouth, because there was so little space between the words ‘Charlie’ and ‘rape’.

“Kim?”

“Yes, Nana?”

Shit. That was getting too well established. Not now, though.

“Can you kick everyone out of one of the sitting rooms. Don’t care which one, but I want some privacy, okay? Ask them nicely”

“Will do. Back one will be best, I think. Back in a sec”

I turned to the new girl, who was in a minidress and not much else, dark hair almost to her shoulders and some cuts on her knees and forearms.

“Have you eaten recently?”

She shook her head.

“Kim? Kim got me some crisps; said she would have bought me a meal, but she wanted me safe first, is what she said”

“Then we can ask her to do us something while we talk, then. Here she is back, anyway. They all sorted, love?”

“Yeah. Nicky suggested they use the back room; thought Charlie here might be hungry. Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

“Some of us spent tome time sleeping rough, so we understand. Did some shepherd’s pie yesterday, should be plenty left, if you’d like. Be nuked, though, but I can add some instant gravy”

“Would be great. Thanks”

“Back in a few then. Debbie here will look after you, okay? Safe place here, really safe, and they can’t get in. Settle down and it’ll be ready in about five minutes”

Kim’s head disappeared behind the fridge door as I walked into my original front room, settling Charlie into one of the armchairs.

“You can tell me whatever you need to, kid. As Kim said, this is a safe place. People don’t get in unless we let them. Feel up to talking? How old are you, anyway?”

“I’m thirteen, Miss”

“No ‘Miss’, here, Charlie. I’m Debbie, no more, no less. Unless you listen to the sods that are calling me ‘Nana’, that is”

“Can I think about it for now?”

“Of course. You feel up to telling me what has been going on?”

“You’ll hate me”

“Why would we do that?”

“I’m a pervert, Dad said. Not a real girl, am I?”

“Charlie, it’s the same with every other person in here. Still all girls though, aren’t they?”

Her eyes opened wide, and for an instant I could see the small child behind the fear.

“Every one of them?”

“Yup. That’s what this place is for. You were spotted by a friend of ours, a really good man, and he gave Kim the word. What happened?”

Kim chose that moment to bring in a steaming bowl of lamb mince and mashed potato, and the child’s face lit up. Two mouthfuls in, and she stopped, pointing to Kim.

“Can she stay with us, while I talk?”

I nodded.

“Kim’s the sort of assistant warden, carer, gofer, whatever. I trust her absolutely”

The older girl reached out to pat Charlie’s forearm, which brought a wince.

“Same with me and Deb, yeah? I would have died without her, and that man she mentioned. Safe, isn’t it?”

A few more mouthfuls disappeared, and then she started speaking as she ate, the words coming in clumps.

“I was called something else, but I don’t want to hear that name. Always knew I was never a boy. Used to… When I got older, I used to borrow Mam’s clothes. Never easy getting the tights to shrink back, so I used to take the ones from the back of the drawer, put them back in the same place so they had time to shrink back down. They liked going out on the piss, they did, and I got some time, some ME time. They’re into rock and roll stuff, all stupid greasy hair and that. Holiday camp just into England, does these weekender things, and they never took me, did they? This is really nice, Kim”

“Kim works in a café near here, Charlie. Does it for money, so it should be nice. Your parents, then: they just cleared off and left you on your own? At thirteen?”

“Yeah. Think Dad always saw me as a problem, like a ball and chain thing. Didn’t mind, did I? Gave me a weekend, draw the curtains, practise my make-up, stuff I nicked off Mam. Have a couple of days as me. But I had to push it a bit. Went out for a walk, late at night, didn’t I?”

I felt a little shiver, but I managed to cover it up, just.

“If it’s too much, Charlie, you can leave it. Not pushing you, okay?”

She shook her head.

“Not stopping now. If I stop, I don’t finish. So anyway: I went out for a walk… And he had a big car, and he said he had a knife, and I recognised him from the papers, local councillor, and he hits, punches me, very hard, drags me over to some bushes, and when he drags my knickers down, he just grunts. ‘Where there’s a willy, there’s a way’, he says, his idea of some sort of fucking JOKE, and it hurt like hell, and when he finishes, he hits me really hard, right here on the side of the head, and I’m seeing stars, face down and I know I’m bleeding, and then he just pisses on my back, and I hear him, Ashley Evans, that’s his name, I hear him say ‘Ah, best way to get the spoodge out. Shit as well’. Then I hear the car start up, and he’s gone”

She held out the bowl to Kim, the pattern almost licked off.

“Sorry to be rude. Got any more?”

Kim smiled, and I could feel her own strain trying to break loose. Bastard.

“Got some sweet stuff, if you want. One of our friends is a really good baker”

“Please”

I asked the obvious question, and she smiled, in a way that was an extremely long way from being genuine.

“Got found by a dog walker, looking for somewhere to hide his little bag of turds. Called an ambulance, and that was where it all got worse”

Kim was back with a couple of Gemma’s specials, and they went so quickly I expected to see scorch marks on the plate.

“They treated me in hospital, and when I got home, Dad just went on and on about perverts and kicked me out of the house. Wasn’t the worst, though…”

That was probably the longest of all her pauses, and when she resumed speaking, she was almost whispering.

“When I was in hospital, two men came round. Big men, in suits. Said they were coppers, said they knew where I lived. All that stuff. Anyway, really worried me, and I wanted to tell Dad about them and then he still kicked me out, and I was all alone, no money apart from a tenner I had in the cheap handbag I had found in some fly-tipping stuff”

Another, shorter, pause, her eyes off in some other world of memory before she looked up again, another faint little smile in place.

“Used to find stuff dumped in field gates, parking places, that sort of thing. Bit of a clean-up, some superglue, almost good as new. Found some other sort of rubbish to burrow into, after he kicked me out, though; managed to sleep for a few days, then I’m looking at the money, and there’s Maccy D’s open. You ever been that hungry, Debbie?”

“I have, Charlie”

“Then you know what I mean. Making every bit last, licking your fingers after scraping everything off with your fingernails… Man comes up to me, says something about me looking cold, and…”

She finally broke, in as quiet a way as I could ever imagine.

“Said his name was Joe, and he had a wonky eye, all droopy, and if I had only known what a fucking CUNT he was, but he had somewhere to sleep, and it was warm, and I was there for a few days, and he tells me I’m pretty, and I’m just starting to think, you know, that he’s been nice to me, so maybe I should, you know, be nice… Nice back to him, and you know what I mean, and I knew what he would like, and I’d already been… and then I’m in the room, and I hear this voice, and it’s familiar, so I look down the stairs, and it’s only one of the men from the hospital, and he’s not just starting up the stairs, he’s unzipping his fucking FLIES, and I put the window out and dropped onto a flat roof, got onto the ground, and I ran and I bloody ran, and I slept in skips and shit, and is it really safe here? Really?”

The tears were in full flow now, and I caught her casting quick glances towards the back door.

“We really safe here? Really?”

Kim settled into the chair with her, squeezing in despite the lack of space, Charlie was still so small, and held her through a bout of violent shaking, and spoke as soothingly and calmly as I had ever heard from her.

“Safe, love. Really safe, yeah? Now, those cuts from getting out of the window?”

“Yeah, think so…”

“Well, here’s a suggestion. When Debbie found me, just like we have you, yeah? She brought me back here, she ran a hot bath, and she just let me soak for a while. You like that idea?”

“Please…”

Kim turned back to me, little twitches appearing around her mouth, and I saw that same hatred boiling there as I had seen when she had whipped her father with his own belt.

“Going to pop Into the other room, Debbie, have a chat with the rest. Do some moving around. Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

“Going to sort put a proper bed for you, okay? Just need to know if you’d prefer being in on your own, or if having another girl with you would be better”

“Could I share with you, if you don’t mind?”

“Course you can, Charlie. Course you can. We’ll have a sort out, find you something to wear, nighty, jim-jams or something. You are not going out anywhere else tonight, okay? Safe here”

Kim led her out of the room to start a bath running and sort somewhere to sleep, and ten minutes later I had what I could only call a deputation of the other girls. Nicky and Maisie, in particular, looked incandescent with rage, while Alicia just looked stunned. I held my hands up to calm them as best I could.

“Yes, I know, and yes I agree, but this is someone I got warned off almost the first day I came down here. This isn’t someone that Rosie and her man can just happen to drop by, happen to visit, and there are coppers already involved. You know what I feel about coppers. So here is my word: we don’t tell anyone she is here unless we have to. No gossip at school, no comments about the man we know did it. Safety of all of you is my priority, okay? You all understand?”

I got a silent chorus of nods, just as Kim returned.

“Done some shuffling, so Alicia, you’re in with Nicky now, sorry, but Maisie, you got your own room for now. Charlie’s soaking, and Serena, sorry, but I stole one of your fizzy bath bombs. Gemma?”

“Um, yeah?”

“You’re the tallest here. You got a sloppy T-shirt, as girly-girl as you can manage? It would do for a nighty for Charlie”

“I’ll have a look. Is she going to be okay, Kim?”

She sighed.

“Don’t know yet, do I? Couldn’t… She wasn’t bleeding any more. Think that bit’s going to be okay, at least. Debbie?”

“Yes?”

“You think any of this is tied up with the kickings Marlene was talking about?”

“Don’t know, Kim. That’s all beating boys up, though. Not like this. Sodding hell, though: a whole flat set up for it? I need to have a word with Sparky, cause if they have something like that, there’ll be other girls being picked up”

Maisie was trembling now, and I couldn’t tell if it was from fear, hatred or memory.

“Could it be that bastard Mo, Deb??

I sighed.

“Not got a clue, love. Let’s just get this girl settled down, try and let her recover, and I will go and have a word with Sparky. I’ll think about speaking to Paul as well, but not sure on that bit yet. He’s a copper still. Now, I’m relying on you lot to do your best for your new little sister, so make me proud”

They did exactly that, exactly as I should have expected, and by Charlie’s fourth day with us, Rachel and Emma had brought home a couple of proper nighties, some pyjamas, a dressing gown and a pair of slippers, as the child slowly emerged from her shell.

It was only a fortnight later that Sparky passed the word about another victim, and I took in another terrified little rape victim.

She had met some of the same people as Charlie, but in her case it had taken over a week for her to escape. What on Earth was I going to be able to do that would sort any of this out?

Over a week in that room. Shit.