CHAPTER 31
Both youngsters sat open-mouthed for a few seconds, before Kim, naturally, turned to me.

“Is Marlene always like this? And tell me again why we are here?”

My overdressed friend burst out laughing.

“Well, I can see which one of these two delicate flowers has been with you the longest, Debbie! Now, what can Marlene do for you?”

“Ah, it’s coming up to the holidays, love, and I have plans. I’m actually only off for Christmas Day, myself, but that means I’ll have New Year instead”

“Party that night, woman. Both nights, actually, both Eves, but the second one is ticket only”

“Ah, we’ve got another event that night, up the clubhouse”

I received another long stare from Marlene, before she shook her head and smiled, showing the genuinely caring person I had come to know and love.

“I was going to say something stupid, like ‘Will those two be safe there?’, but thinking about it, would there be anywhere that could possibly be safer for them? Don’t answer that one, Debbie. So, will you be here for Christmas Eve, then?”

She turned to the girls.

“A lesson for you, little darlings. Most pubs tend to be empty, or at least quiet, on Christmas Eve, as a most folk are sorting families and stuff like that. For an awful lot of my customers, this is the closest to family they will ever get. Expensive for taxis, so I set up a little minibus for people who are stuck getting home. Not always safe out there”

She turned back to me.

“So can I assume it will be just you and the chickens here?”

“Nope. I have a couple of friends coming down for a few days”

Her smile brightened again.

“Those two geordies? I will have to hire someone to translate the lyrics on the karaoke machine!”

“They can read English, Marlene!”

“Yes, but not speak it! It will be good to see them again, but do NOT tell them I said that! Right, girls, the ground rules, FAQs, and so on”

Kim again.

“FAQs?”

“Frequently asked questions, darling. Yes, this is a gay bar, a lesbian lair, a perversion palace, a home for godless abominations. We get all sorts in here, but the rule is that they do not piss people off, and by ‘people’ I mean Moi. There will be multiple displays of close personal affection that would piss off the people behind Section 28, but anyone that gets pushy gets pushed, as in out of the fucking door thanksbye. Are you okay with that idea?”

Nell surprised me yet again, by turning to Kim with an obviously feigned sigh.

“Sounds like there’ll be no talent for us to pull, then”

Marlene and I let the laughter fade, before she turned to them with her genuinely serious face on.

“Not quite, darling. We do get some trans men in here. Most of them are straight guys”

Kim looked lost, so Marlene sighed in her own way.

“People told they were girls when they were born, but who feel they are really boys. You two should understand that idea, but I’m guessing you’ve never thought of it. Too much on your plates already, am I right?”

She shrugged.

“Some of the dykes really hate them. If they push it, as I said, they get pushed. You working on the Day, Debbie?

“No, but I am on Boxing Day. There’ll be a load of deliveries for the sales on Boxing Day, so I am sure there will be some managers, somewhere, that will have an attack of the last-minute-sphincter-clench that they’ve forgotten or under-ordered something random”

She turned to the two youngsters, and her face softened.

“You don’t have to answer this unless you want to, girls, and I suspect I already know the answer, but anyway: will this be your first Christmas being yourselves? Yeah? Can see it in your faces. Right, then. You come here, you have a good time, you don’t get pissed, and you look after Debbie. Anything goes wrong, anything turns nasty, you find me, or you tell one of the bar staff to find me. Just say ‘Code Purple’. And you do NOT step outside the door until you are all together and ready to leave. Got me?”

They both nodded, Nell holding up a hand like a schoolgirl.

“Yes, love?”

“Why purple?”

“Because that, girl, is your colour on the Pride flag. Now, the place is getting busy, so I shall leave you with one more thing. I know Debbie is a working girl—don’t breathe your tea, darling, drink it--- so I assume you will be doing your own shopping in town some days. You get any shit, anyone starts following you, you come here. If I am not open, there is a doorbell by the main entrance that rings in my flat. You ring that. See you at Chrimble, ladies”

She swept away, and Kim turned to me, eyes wide.

2How do you find these people, Debbie? All so nice?”

I had a sudden bite of sorrow, thinking of Mam and Dad, Duncan, Sam… but I pulled myself back to the here and now.

“If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here, Kim. Other people don’t get that luck, so I try and spread it about. Anyway, home time, I think. Have a look for that doorbell on the way out, OK?”

The days passed steadily after that, and I noticed both girls settling far more easily into each other’s company. Kim’s cooking grew steadily more adventurous, as well as more skilful, which may have meant ‘safer’ but actually meant tastier. Nell surprised me with a bacon broth one evening, complete with proper suet dumplings, that she said she had copied from one her mother made. It was a little too salty, but it was filling, and that was appreciated as the weather really began to grind life down. I was cheered up one evening n particular, when I arrived home to find some classic AC/DC playing, not too loudly, and both girls dancing to it in the living room. Kim saw me first, grinning as Nell slumped and blushed.

2Hiya, Debbie! Thought we better get her some practice in for New Year. Can’t go to a party and not dance, can you?”

Nell was back in her head-down slump, muttering something about being too shy, and Kim hugged her.

“Sing like nobody’s listening, dance like nobody’s watching, love like there’s no tomorrow, Nell”

Her head came up.

“I like that. You thought it up?”

“Na. Was on a fridge magnet in Ruth’s kitchen. Makes sense, though. For me, it’s if I sing, there will be nobody listening cause they’ve all run off screaming!”

That turned into a very, very silly evening, because of course I had to dig out dome of the old Steeleye albums, and we sat slumped together on the settee, cuddled up to each other as we tried to sing the lyrics printed on the inner sleeves of ‘Below the Salt’ and ‘Now We Are Six’. For the sake of the girls, I did my best to stay dry-eyed for ‘Saucy Sailor’, but it was a close thing.

I set off for work on the morning of the twentieth having left strict instructions for Nell and the boys about entering the house, and setting a password for them to use, and I will admit I was feeling mischievous that day. When I arrived home, I was met by solid hugs from the two men, and a very puzzled Nell.

“Debbie, I know you told me what they would say, but what’s a stotty, and why wouldn’t be hairy?”

She was only drinking orange squash, so it wasn’t likely to stain the blouse she soaked when Malcolm explained. I had been worried at the thought of leaving her with two male strangers, but once again she surprised me with her courage, going out with the boys each day before Christmas. I got her by herself in the kitchen at the end of the third day, asking her if she was okay with the lads, and I actually received a full-strength beam of a smile.

“Kim’s idea, Debbie! She says that I can use the time profitably. So they’ve got a car, and they want to play tourist, and there’s lots of places I like, or haven’t seen but want to, so if I do the tour guide thing…”

I added another tick to my mental checklist about the younger one: confidence, restored, then mentally rubbed it out and wrote ‘confidence, excessive’.

“So where have you been? Rather, where did you con them into taking you?”

“Folk Museum first. And Caerphilly Castle. Graham said they have more and better castles up his way, and Malcolm just said it doesn’t rain as much. And Malcolm wanted to see the bridge in Newport. He took so many photos, said there was another bridge like that not a long way from where they live. And, um, they bought me some new walking boots. I showed them the pictures from the mountains, and they said I should go back”

I called through to the living room.

“Oy! Graham!”

“Aye?”

“Do NOT go spending loads on this one!”

“Get stuffed, Debbie! It’s Christmas, so that’s her present from both of us. I mean, we’re not getting owt from you, are we, except bed, breakfast, lovely company of gorgeous lasses and a hopefully great Christmas party!”

He paused, before adding, “Not that either of us has any specific need for being surrounded by pretty lasses, but, well, you know what I mean. We’d like to do the same for Kim on Boxing Day, in the sales, if you don’t mind. We think these two will be up the hills as often as they can manage, so decent boots are a must. Yes, I know you got her some boots, but trust me, those won’t last that long, not on Welsh hills. Now, important stuff. Are you going to get glammed up for Christmas, or just slob around as you usually do? The girls want to go glam, so you’re outvoted. You’ll have to lump it”

Cheeky bugger.

I got through the other two working days, fully intending to stick two fingers up to Graham, but I ended up standing in front of my wardrobe, memories of dancing myself silly with Mam, Rosie and poor Sam, and my choice was made for me. Denim mini, spiky boots, and more than my usual make-up to cover at least some of the slowly-fading bruise. I came carefully down the stairs, to find the two lads looking what could only be described as drab, so I cocked an eyebrow at them. Malcom looked at his partner, and shrugged.

“Not only are neither of us that young, but we are most definitely not on the tap. The girls are in the kitchen”

Something about the way he said that alarmed me, so I opened the door to find two teenagers in make-up, miniskirts, tight tops and high-heeled shoes I had most certainly not known they owned. Not that high, but most definitely heels. The boy’ doing, no doubt. Before I could get my objections into full flow, Graham called out “Taxi’s here!” and it was too late.

We trooped out, winter coats incongruously over our ‘evening wear’, the girls already shivering, and we were off to The Smugglers. The music was already pumping out of the door, and to my surprise there was a towering drag queen there with a list of names. A Diesel was behind the Queen, and after my name and those of the girls were ticked off, the Queen had to ask the Diesel about the lads. That woman grinned at me, and pointed at the list.

“Marlene’ said he’d put them down as this, and that you’d understand…”

The entry read ‘Northern Oiks, male, two off’.

It set the tone for the evening nicely. There was a table reserved for us, and there were party poppers to fire off, as well as a buffet of finger food snacks. Two, count them two discos were running, and while one was all pop shite, disco and Jimmy Somerville, the other was playing some heavier stuff, such as vintage Bowie and T-Rex. Not really my stuff, but acceptable enough as it went. There was a cloakroom for the evening, so we were able to pile our stuff there and let rip.

Let rip is what we did, in the end. I had started out intending to stay fully sober, but that plan derailed itself as the effect of the ‘safe space’ ambience hit me, and while I wasn’t actually wrecked by the end of the evening, I was certainly not sober enough to be anywhere near a steering wheel. It was Kim who pushed things along, Kim who kept us fed with snacks and plied with drinks, although three of us did the paying for them, and it was Kim that had all five of us ace-dancing to Status Quo, although it was Nell who had to be given a nudge when her jaw dropped as our two men went into a full-on snog after one dance. Kim whispered to her, and she simply nodded, looking slightly ashamed. I filed that away for a private chat some day, as I had a surprisingly sharp memory of Cooper trying to kiss me.

Not tonight, you fucker. Not ruining my Christmas, and there had been no hints from Heidi about any similar history for Nell.

Not tonight. Drink sensibly, dance despite everyone watching, and… Marlene was waving to me, holding up three fingers. Ah! Me and the girls. We left the lads to their snogging, which was most definitely being done with a disregard of any possible audience, and made our way over to her.

“Come on through to the backbar, girls! Something for you”

Once there, she went into full-on Marlene.

“Not got you anything, Girl, cause you never get Marlene anything. These two, I’ve got time to break in properly. These are from Moi, Kim, Nell”

She handed them each something that looked like a shoe box, and I groaned.

“Marlene, they’ve already got silly shoes!”

A sneer.

“Yes, they are. Far too sensible for Marlene, shoes like that. Anyway, those are not for anywhere near the feet, unless you are into some odd Japanese BDSM schtick. What do you think, girls?”

Kim duly opened her box, and her face lit up, as she showed the contents to Nell, who yelled in delight. Marlene pointed at the open box.

“Care and feeding instructions in the bottom, girls”

Once again, she turned to me.

“If you want to feel a right tit, I’ve given them one each, along with the left one. Better than old tights full of rice. Kim?”

“Yeah? And thanks, Marlene! What do you want to know?”

“I wouldn’t let Ruth cook fried rice with that lot if I were you. Happy Christmas!”