LIFE EXPECTANCY

It had taken Lachlan Euan McAllister three months to get this far, and he was not a patient man. He had only persevered out of a sense of citizenship, for he really didn’t care because he could look after all who mattered to him. He was clearly bored and wanted the whole matter over, so that he could leave and resume things he considered to be important, which did not include being the salvation of the Great British public who were mostly English. He didn’t have a chip on his shoulder, but society had given him a raw deal from birth. Born a Scot in France to parents who’d lived and worked in Lyon, his parents had died in the car accident that he’d survived. He had dual nationality and had been reared in a French orphanage, for none had expressed interest in adopting or even fostering him. He’d left France to be educated in Germany on scholarships he had worked hard to win. He’d worked even harder for his doctorate in Kiev, and acknowledged no debt to Britain. He’d ultimately moved to Scotland and married a lassie from Ullapool. Whilst he considered it right to offer to help, he was quite happy to walk away and leave most of UK society to settle their own future whilst he looked after his own Folk. In his eyes that meant those who considered themselves to be Celts.

~o~O~o~

Eventually, perhaps ironically, it was the trail of dead civil servants that seemed to have dogged his progress that had brought him to the notice of security and subsequently the prime minister. A week after his first meeting with the prime minister, the cabinet gazed at the rake thin, medium height, sixty-odd year old academic with the soft smile which surrounded his adamantine eyes who had left dozens of dead bureaucrats in his wake, all of who had died instantly from massive heart attacks according to the numerous post mortem reports conducted by a dozen or so different leading pathologists. It was the prime minister who asked, “So exactly what is the model you are proposing to manage the situation with, Professor McAllister?”

His reply was uncompromisingly brutal. “Any who lives to the age of thirty six and has never worked has had twenty years of existence as a parasite, and that’s more than enough for me and should be more than four times enough for you. Don’t bother to tell me about the unfortunate who can’t work because whilst I accept you are entitled to your opinions, I am entitled to ignore them. You’ll need folk who can help, not folk who’ll need help to survive you simply won’t be able to provide without causing those who can help to die. I suggest that thirty-six with a standard deviation of eighteen months should be the norm in terms of life expectancy for all such non-contributors. That means effectively all such would be dead before the age of forty-one. Any such already over the age of forty-one would disappear almost instantly, so I’ll slow their death rate to no faster than you’ll be able to deal with the corpses, say over six months. If you’re coping well perhaps half that. Once that has occurred, I’ll start on the younger social leeches by sliding the function downwards in terms of age starting with those with criminal records for violence, theft and the like. My gift as you have probably realised does not need evidence, for if I apply it to thieves it selects only thieves regardless of whether they have ever been caught or not, which of course would include corrupt public servants, bankers and the like and more to the point would not select those wrongfully convicted. The effect that would have on a society in desperate straights would be profound, since it would effectively eliminate parasites and their parasitic offspring within little more than one of their generations, possibly as few as eight years. I can easily create a function relating contribution to those statistics. Should civil unrest be such as to threaten the contributors I shall alter the statistics in your favour.”

The cabinet had all had a crash course in elementary statistics in the last few days with McAllister, and was silent for almost a minute, before the prime minister, who was chairing the meeting, said, “That means death for millions before they reach middle age! And you are making no allowance for those who can’t help themselves.”

“I know.” McAllister didn’t even acknowledge the objections concerning those who could not assist the government. “Whether you accept my offer or not, you soon shall not be able to feed the population, nor even to bury them in anything other than machine dug mass graves which you’ll have to do to avoid widespread disease. The elderly are already starting to die from cold and hunger, no government has ever looked after them properly in winter, and you need to start looking after the ones who can assist before it is too late and their skills and knowledge are lost to you for ever. Most of the herd will never accept that it is reasonable for society to expect them to contribute, and now that means to assist in food and heat production and conservation. The ice age has begun, and even the most sceptical no longer disagree about that. You are staring mass starvation and hypothermia in the face and need to use your time and resources wisely. Be grateful you are this far south and look to what is already happening in Scandinavia. God alone knows what is happening across the pond. I suspect Alaska, Canada and the northern half of the USA will be wiped out soon and millions of citizens of the states will be grovelling to Mexico for visas. They will have lost most of their military and civil defence to the cold and have less men under arms than Mexico and the central American nations. They will not be in a position to dictate terms to anyone.

“Back at home, your police and armed forces admit there is no possibility they can remain in control of what food there is in storage for more than a a couple of weeks if there are more than fifty million starving looters out there who for generations have just taken what they wanted. Give them a week of hunger and cold and they’ll be hunting each other and you to eat. The looting and rioting is just around the corner whether I do anything or not. So you have to make a choice. Either millions die at random from starvation and at the hands of the mob, or I enable those who contribute to survival to survive, which means the millions who die will all be non-contributors, either way millions die and either way most of the dead will be non-contributors. And again whether I do anything or not cannibalism is going to be a fact of life in the short term. All you have to decide is whether or not you wish to save the contributors because the rest are already dead. They just don’t know it yet which is what is giving you the little time you have left for me to act in if you so decide. I am willing to abide by your decision. Whatever you decide, I shall ensure I and mine will survive whether you and yours do or do not. If you accept my offer, you must take responsibility for it as a governmental policy because I’ll be damned before I’ll allow you to blame me for anything that happens. I shall leave it with you. You have six possibly only three months. After that, I shall do no more, but no less, than what is needful to protect mine, but with no explanations, and I alone shall determine what is needful. Should you choose not to accept my offer I am not prepared to protect you. You will have to take your chances with the cold and the looters like the rest of the population.”

“That is blackmail, ” the prime minister protested.

“No. It is application of power, and I have the power, you do not. What you choose to do is up to you not me. You were elected to run the country not I. I have merely made the consequences of your choices clear. Government has operated on the principle of application of power for a long time, but you have no more power over me than you have over the climate. Remember, I have given you an option that you did not have before, which you don’t have to take, and your bureaucracy has taken three months from you whilst your minions messed me about before I was able to explain matters to you. Be grateful I felt obliged to persevere, because for me the whole lot of you can die, for none of you have any skills or knowledge that will be worth a damn in the near future. So you either cope with the populace and the ice age, or you accept my offer. Don’t bother trying to negotiate for anything else, it’s take it or leave it. You have a few months in which to choose. As soon as the cold really bites, and none is exactly sure how soon that will be, you will not be able to contact me. Anyway you’ll be too busy trying to stay alive, or more probably you’ll already be dead and eaten.” At that point he left, or perhaps walked out on them would be a better choice of words.

~o~O~o~

After McAllister, who had demonstrated unequivocally to the cabinet over the last week that he did indeed have the inexplicable ability to make reality mirror the statistics of his choice, had left the cabinet considered his words. He had a deliberate and dispassionate voice, and they knew he meant every word of what he’d said, and that no appeal to anything would make any difference. It was indeed take it or leave it, and they knew he was not bothered either way. He’d made it very clear he despised politicians as a breed and bureaucrats too and was not overfond of the English. They were left with the choice of first, telling it like it was to the electorate, a political suicide which no politician had done for centuries, and condemning they and theirs to an early death, probably at the hands of the mob, second, doing and saying nothing, which would ultimately have the same effect, or, third, accepting McAllister’s offer.

The prime minister, looked around at the fourteen men and women who made up the cabinet and said, “I want each and every one of us to state our feelings on the matter. As briefly as possible please, certainly no more than a couple of minutes. Then I shall consider our next step. I’ll start.” The cabinet nodded in agreement with the procedure. “If we don’t take up McAllister’s offer, probably within two years, certainly five, there will be no country to run. The Scandinavian countries are in serious trouble now. They have nowhere near the percentage of unemployed that we do, and their citizens are far more self reliant than ours and have a much greater feeling of civic obligation. Denmark has already agreed to accept the entire population of Greenland and Norway and Sweden are making similar arrangements with Iceland and Finland respectively. I consider McAllister’s opinion on the looters to be sound, we shall not be able to contain them, and the police and military concur, though how he is aware of their reports defeats me, and it’ll be pointless to ask questions he won’t answer. The looters will destroy far more food than they eat, and we would all face starvation. The death toll on those who contribute and are capable of assisting us to manage this and then survive would be high, higher than we can afford if we want to survive. I also think his view on looking after the elderly skilled and knowledgable to require immediate actioning. Harriet please have your staff working on that as soon as the meeting is over. If there is any doubt play it safe and provide resources and protection. Have those we shall need and their families taken to places of safety, forcibly if necessary. We all need to make it clear to all our civil servants that any one who leaks anything is out of a job and will no longer be eligible for our protection. They can join the herd to die. If their leak leads to insurrection they will be shot as traitors.” There was a murmur of agreement around the table and the home secretary nodded.

“I don’t like it, but it is my opinion that we have to take up McAllister’s offer as soon as possible, and invite the opposition into coalition. I suspect if we do so he will offer more help as to how to manage the situation which he seems to understand better than any other. That he insists we make the decision is only reasonable, albeit uncomfortable. We are not in a position to say it is unacceptable unless we wish to turn his offer down as he will just walk away and leave us to it. I wish to make it crystal clear I consider McAllister to be our only piece of good fortune in this difficult situation and we need him, he does not need us, and I suspect any who threaten him will certainly die. If I’ve learnt one thing from his statistics it is that the likelihood of all those heart attacks being random chance is zero. We do need to decide how and when, or even if, we go public with this. I suggest not, or not at any rate till the vast majority of the over forty-one year olds are dead, which remember he said will only take a few months, six at most. Again I suggest we ask him what he thinks. In short, we need a lot more information from him. I believe we shall get it, but only after we commit ourselves to his solution. Once we have done so, we shall be unable to change our minds and have to plan accordingly. If we accept his offer I want no one in the cabinet who does not agree with it. I suspect we shall be far better off hosting Scandinavian refugees than trying to feed our, and I hate to use his word since it will go on the record, but it is the only one to use, parasites. So, Owen will you make contact with the Scandinavian embassies with a view to extending that offer.” The foreign secretary smiled in agreement, and there were nods of agreement round the table and three-quarters of an hour later when all had had their say not much new had been added to what the prime minister had said and no one had voiced any objections. All the cabinet were clearly as unhappy as the prime minister, but also considered it to be the best of bad choices. “I shall ask Professor McAllister to meet with me again. I shall accept his proposal, and, ask that he speaks with us all to provide further details and what advice he is prepared to offer. The sooner the deaths start the better we shall be able to deal with the situation.” The prime minister’s head shook before continuing, “Despite the situation, I feel like the biggest mass murderer in all history. George, pour me a large one would you please?” The chancellor of the exchequer went for a tray of glasses and several bottles of spirits. He proceeded to open the bottles, and, carried on pouring out large ones till every one had a drink before downing his and immediately refilling his glass. For the first time ever the bottles were passed round the table. The prime minister re-filled her glass to the brim.

~o~O~o~

The prime minister contacted McAllister via a secure channel, and it was as she’d suspected once she had convinced him she and her government were committed to his plan he suggested a meeting with just her at which he would divulge further details.
“Professor, would you object if I invited the leader of the opposition to that meeting because once the cold is on us it is my belief only a coalition will be able to lead the country?”

There was a long pause before McAllister replied, “Were it any other member of the opposition I would say no, but I do not consider it wise to invite Mr. Hallbeck given the extreme and rabid views he holds towards you and your party, but it’s up to you. However, I warn you if he demonstrates that level of hostility towards me I’m certain something unfortunate will happen to him. I’m not prepared to explain other than to say that the gift I have protects itself and is beyond my conscious control when under threat as I’m sure you have already deduced.”

Though McAllister could not see her, the prime minister nodded and said, “That I can accept. I presume you mean that he could end up dying sooner rather than later.”

“That is exactly what I mean.”

“Well, if he wants to be kept informed and play a part in the decision making process he’ll have to keep his temper in check or take his chances won’t he? To be honest, I don’t like him and I shan’t be upset if I end up dealing with one of the much more reasonable members of his party.”

“That is in my opinion a sensible viewpoint and probably the best short term outcome that you can hope for because it will make your management of the situation much less problematic.”

~o~O~o~

The meeting had been arranged and the three of them sat at a table at the end of a long room with a dozen unhappy armed security personnel at the far end. They’d been briefed concerning McAllister’s gift and were happy enough at his presence, but Hallbeck was so volatile they would have preferred at least two of them between him and the prime minister.

So, what’s all this nonsense about then?” demanded Hallbeck.

“You are as aware as I of the weather situation, and I know you have been briefed on the situations in Scandinavia and Canada. Have you any ideas concerning how we are going to keep the population fed and warm and we keep public order?”

“It will not be that bad; the people will pull together like they always have in times of crisis. The bloody scientists are scaremongering as usual. I’d have every last one of them under lock and key. What’s Professor McAllister doing here? I can only assume you’ve got some plan afoot to deny the working classes their rightful share of food and fuel and McAllister is a key player in that. Bloody scientists, just like you to produce a tame one.”

“Professor McAllister has studied the situation and it is my and my government’s contention he understands what we face better than any other. When you have heard what he has to say, it is my intention to invite you into a coalition, but you need to listen carefully, and for your own safety keep your temper in check, and please there’s no need for the insults. We don’t like each other, so just let it go at that, and let’s try to adhere to the professional courtesies. Shall we?”

Hallbeck glanced at the security detail and shouted, “Are you threatening me?”

“No. The prime minister is trying to keep you alive,” McAllister almost whispered. “It’s me you need to be worried about, not the men and women with the guns over there.” Hallbeck, a powerfully built man in his forties, sneered at the ageing professor but said nothing. “Now are you going to listen, or do I ask the prime minister to have security throw you out, and then we’ll wait till your party elect a leader with at least two connected brain cells and invite him or her to listen and form a coalition?”

“What have you got to say? I’ll listen—”

“Without interruption?”

Almost apoplectic with anger, but seduced by the lure of power Hallbeck nodded.

“Very well.” McAllister explained the current situation as indicated by the latest predictions by both climatologists and those versed in population dynamics.”

Hallbeck was relatively calm as he asked, “Millions dead? Most of the population? Nonsense! Where does this misinformation come from?”

“Professor McAllister has his own sources, not all of which I am aware of as yet which he has assured me he will divulge, but till such time as you are a member of my government I do not propose to divulge the nature of any sources to you.”

Hallbeck’s eye’s bulged at the concept of being a member of the prime minister’s government. “I shall never be a member of your government,” he spat.

“As you will. That’s it then, so I’ll bid you good day and wait till your party has a leader intelligent enough to recognise that as long as your party is a minority partner, a small minority partner, I lead the government. It is my government. Or would you like to retract that statement and continue to listen to Professor McAllister? But before I offer again, I want to hear you say that in coalition you will be part of my government and subservient to me. I shall also tell you now that since I have four times the members of parliament that you have you will receive one fifth of cabinet ministers, and out of each group of five I shall choose the first, second, fourth and fifth, you choose the third. Take it or leave it.”

His face obscene with anger, Hallbeck said, “I’ll take it.”

“And you will be part of my government subservient to me? A yes is not enough. You put yourself in this position, and you know the terms to get yourself out of it.” The prime minister was clearly enjoying herself.

“Yes, I’ll be a part of your government, damn you.”

“And subservient to me?”

Hallbeck nearly choked on his words but he added , “And subservient to you.”

“Professor, I think this is almost the time to acquaint Mr. Hallbeck with your specialised talents, but first I’ll provide him with some of the information he considers to be nonsense.” The prime minister pushed several documents over to Hallbeck saying, “Take your time. I think even you will accept the contents. I’ll reserve the more debatable information for another time.”

Hallbeck took a quarter of an hour and said, “Okay. I accept things are worse than I thought, but that doesn’t explain Professor McAllister’s presence. He’s a mathematician and neither a climatologist nor a disaster management expert.”

“No he’s not, but I’ll let him explain.”

“I am a statistician, but one with a difference. I can influence events to match any statistics I choose.”

“What does that mean?”

“It took me a week to explain that to the cabinet. Will you accept proof without explanation? Which I can provide in a few minutes.”

“Okay, but no tricks.”

“Mr. Hallbeck, I’m so good you wouldn’t know I were tricking you if I so chose, so I’ll make it as transparent as I can. Do you have some coins in your pocket?”

“Yes, but what the hell has that got to do with anything?”

“What do you think are the chances of you pulling them out and dumping them on the table with all shewing heads?”

“Not good, why?”

“Do it.”

Hallbeck was amazed at twenty-three heads, “Chance, pure bloody chance.”

“Do it again. You decide how many heads you want to see.”

A dozen times later, each time Hallbeck had called for a different number of heads and McAllister had produced whatever Hallbeck called for without touching the coins. Hallbeck was perplexed but not giving way. “What has this to do with the current situation?”

“You accept the evidence that most of the population is going to die and the survivors are going to find it really tough?”

“I’m prepared to accept the documentation you have shewn me is genuine and there seems to be no reason to doubt what you have told me you will provide proof of in the next few days.” Hallbeck seemed to be calm and rational and very frightened.

“Just as I can determine the number of heads, I can determine any event subject to statistical outcome. What I’m telling you is I can determine who lives in order to give the survivors the best chance of long term survival.”

Hallbeck’s face was now indicating he was anything but calm and rational and his fear had been replaced by a limitless rage. “You can can you? All upper class ponces and parasites I suppose?”

“No. The parasites would be the first to die and I wouldn’t know a ponce if I met one, upper class or otherwise.”

Trying hard to contain himself, Hallbeck was chewing his words, “I’ll want the same as what you explained to the cabinet soon, but can you thumbnail it for me now? So I can get my head round what you are proposing.”

“Yes. You understand averages?”

“Yes. Just because I was involved in forestry doesn’t mean I’m fucking stupid.” McAllister smiled as the prime minister winced at Hallbeck’s language.

“Okay. Suppose thee men each have a fiver, an average of five pounds each. Of another three men two have nothing and the third has fifteen pounds which is also an average of a fiver each. The second situation demonstrates a wider spread in the data than the first. I can control the average lifespan and the spread about that average. You need those who will help to survive, that means those who won’t help don’t get my protection. I can ensure that the right folk survive rather than leaving it to chance. I propose any who has not worked for twenty years can die, that’s an average lifespan of thirty-six and I also propose a spread of eighteen months so they all die between the ages of thirty-one and forty-one. Do not misunderstand me. I am not killing anyone the climate change is. I am merely making sure that those who can help ensure that humanity survives survive themselves in order that they are alive to help.”

Hallbeck was so taken aback by what he perceived to be the arrogance of McAllister’s plan that his shock rode over his anger. “So the dead will all be working class?”

“No they’re not. That’s my entire point. None of them have done a day’s work in their entire lives. They’re going to be the cannibalistic looters and murderers and they are going to die anyway, even without me doing anything. I’m just going to make sure they die before they destroy any chance of anyone surviving.”

“You really don’t give a stuff do you? This is an all out attack on the working class. You can’t seriously be considering allowing this psychopath to do this are you?” The first question was addressed to McAllister and the second to the prime minister.

“We have no choice. You’ve read what the police and military say we can protect. Millions are going to die. Either a tiny proportion of the population survive with McAllister’s plan or none do.”

“These are good English men and women and their kids we’re talking about. You can’t do this.”

“Yes I can, and in any case I’m not doing it the climate is. One, they’re not good anything they are parasitic scum and two, I’m glad you pointed out they are English. I’m not and I owe the English nothing. I’m happy to let the whole bloody lot of you die and just look after my own folk none of whom are English. However, I have said I’ll help, and I keep my word. It starts at midnight tonight.”

Hallbeck’s face drained as he asked, “So what happens then?”

“The obvious. You start to lose folk nobody will be bothered about, those whom the bulk of your society hate, so there will be no fuss made, but the population will be significantly reduced by the time the bulk of the population is affected and that will make the situation easier for your authorities to manage.”

Anger back as his controlling emotion Hallbeck asked, “Who is that then?”

“To facilitate managing the situation you need to know that all who are supposed to have the long term interests of society as their priority actually do rather than taking the opportunity to profiteer from the situation, so I’ll start with all corrupt politicians, civil servants, police, military and financiers and I mean all of them no matter what their professed politics or supposed allegiances are. In addition all in prisons who are dangerous to society, murderers, sociopaths, thugs, paedophiles, rapists and the like because they cost too much in resources to lock up and you can’t risk them free, which will leave the rest of the prison population for you to reach accommodation with, for if there is no overwhelming reason for them to be inside, save the money and use them for the benefit of society. That of course is what should have been done in the first place rather than spending a fortune keeping them, but some of course were leeches before going inside so it’s unlikely they’ll be getting out. And finally all those who refuse to integrate into mainstream society because you can’t afford a society fragmented by minorities with different aims who would fight you for resources.”

Hallbeck shouted, “You’re talking about wiping out the entire ethnic communities?”

“No. You may be, but I’m talking about all competitors for resources who won’t be missed. I couldn’t care less about their ethnicity. As far as I’m concerned the English are an ethnic minority in our society, but if they cooperate and help they are more than welcome and will be treated equally. And it’s not my fault the folk you seem to be talking about are hated and distrusted by all the idiots who voted for you and your like. The more tolerant members of society wouldn’t dream of voting for your party.”

Hallbeck was beyond rage. The social justice warrior in him had finally subsumed all traces of rationality and reasonableness. “You’re all the same you bloody upper class bastards. Born with a silver spoon in your mouth and selfish beyond belief, people are just expendable units of production and consumption in your self entitled world view. I’m going public with this and stuff your bloody coalition, and as for you you conscienceless bastard—” His voice was now so loud the security were almost on him as he launched himself at McAllister to throw the first punch. McAllister turned to the side and Hallbeck followed his fist to soundlessly hit the deep pile carpet. As one of the security persons turned him over all could see his face congested with blood. Another was about to administer cardio pulmonary resuscitation and a third was ringing for an ambulance.

Tonelessly McAllister said, “Don’t bother, he’ll be dead beyond hope. Well, Prime Minister, a bit of an earlier start than I’d anticipated, but at least it makes your life a bit easier.”

“He was right wasn’t he? You really don’t care do you? You provoked him.”

McAllister shrugged, “If he’d been a reasonable man nothing I could have said would have provoked him. Only a complete moron can be provoked by unassailable fact. As to caring, the truth is quite the contrary of what you seem to think. I care much more than any of you politicians and your civil servants. I care so much that had I been in control I wouldn’t have run the country down into the bloody mess it’s in now where only a man of my talents can salvage anything, be it however little, out of the shambles. And let’s set the record straight, the ice age has just brought about the collapse maybe fifty years before you politicians triggered it without any help from the weather. The evidence is all there for anyone of intelligence to see, but of course just about the only scientifically educated members of parliament are all medically educated. As far as I’m aware, not a single scientist, technologist, engineer or mathematician has been a member of parliament for generations because they can’t live with the nonsense the rest of you constantly spout, and that’s why you’ve never understood what the hell was going on. Only cretins believe that if the rate of increase in unemployment is decreasing that unemployment is going down which includes every politician I’ve ever talked to concerning unemployment, and with no apologies I suspect that would also include all of you. That your vision has only ever extended as far as the next general election hasn’t helped you any either. Now I need to go. I’ll be in touch. I suggest you have the military ready to dispose of corpses because a number of places are going to be pretty grim by tomorrow evening, and they have the appropriate experience. They dealt with the carcasses during the last foot and mouth outbreak. Leicester, London, Leeds, Birmingham, Manchester, mostly the big cities, but I’m sure you’ll know where to send them. You’ll be dealing with over a hundred thousand dead within the week, and a lot more the following week. You also need logistics folk to work out what heavy plant you need to dig the graves and where to dig them, but I’ll leave it to you, though it would be advisable to do it on military establishments where the general population is prohibited and already prevented from going. You’ve a lot to do, but after all that’s what you were elected to do isn’t? Run the country. When Hallbeck’s successor has been elected I’ll educate him or her if you like too.” McAllister considered for a moment and then said, “I have things to do first, but I’ll be in touch in five days to tell you the price of my help.”

“Don’t you mean to discuss it?”

“No I don’t. I’ve given you your lives which whilst worthless to me I presume are of some value to you. I’ll tell you the price after I’ve set certain things in motion. Remember, I could have left you all to die and taken what I wanted anyway, and consider this, any sign of chicanery on your part and I’ll do more than that. I’ll make sure every politician and the entire civil service, both central and local, die first, and England can go to hell on its own handcart.”

~o~O~o~

Without saying goodbye or looking at Hallbeck McAllister left, and the prime minister watched as the security team drew away from him. No one wanted to stop him leaving. ‘Some education for Hallbeck,’ she thought. ‘Still on every course there were those who didn’t make the grade.’ That McAllister equated slaughtered animal carcasses with the corpses of humans he had decided would die was unnerving, but she thought probably accurate even though strictly he had not decided they would die. They just weren’t on his list of those he would ensure survived, though there were some things no politician of sense admitted to anyone, not even a spouse. She left without a word to the security team, and went to brief her cabinet, but first she had a phone call to make to Labour party headquarters. As she went, the reality of McAllister’s words struck home. Despite his explanations, and she believed he had no axe to grind against any ethnic group, it was clear what his words had implied. Leicester! Oh my God! The first city in Great Britain where the indigenous inhabitants had become the ethnic minority, and a very small minority at that now. That would raise questions in the house.

That was the point at which she appreciated McAllister’s view, for he did care about people, a brutal care to be sure, but care all the same, and all she had thought about was the awkwardness of prime minister’s question time. She considered his other scathing remarks, perhaps scything was a better adjective she pondered, and although she couldn’t force people with a background of science, technology, engineering or mathematics into parliament she could replace some if not all of her unelected advisors with people of that knowledge base, for as she now realised indeed they were the only ones who seemed to recognise reality and thus could help. That often the truth they told made them appear cantankerous and no respecter of perceived wisdom she could live with, for as McAllister had pointed out it was perceived wisdom, which was in his terms unperceived stupidity, that had led them to where they were. Truth was truth, and as McAllister had said, “The downfall of every dictator in history has been due to their elimination of everyone who didn’t tell them what they wanted to hear. That means they were never aware of what was going on, and the downfall of their regimes were complete surprises, for there were none left with the ability and integrity to warn them of it or advise them how to avoid it. You need to know what is happening, be it however unpalatable, if you are to be able to manage events.”

It was interesting, but perhaps not surprising, that McAllister had not responded to Hallbeck’s taunts regarding silver spoons, for Hallbeck had been born into a family that owned huge tracts of forested land and had far more money and privilege than McAllister. She now considered McAllister had regarded Hallbeck as below contempt and not worth the breath it took to respond to. Hallbeck had been educated at Eton and Oxford. It was Oxford where he’d embraced socialist politics which she knew was why McAllister despised him as a champagne socialist. She also sincerely hoped that Hallbeck’s successor was open to the thoughts she had only had in the last few hours. Mary Oldthorp was a moderate and easy to get along with. McAllister hadn’t been quite right, for Mary she knew had originally been a biologist. Maybe she should discreetly have it made clear that if the Labour party chose her as leader she should be prepared to make considerably more concessions to them in coalition. It would be worth it. Her last thought concerning her meeting with McAllister was what he’d said about unemployment. She rang up someone who would understand it and was glad it was actually so easy to understand.

“Let me put it like this, Prime minister. If the rate of increase in unemployment is decreasing all that means is for example if an extra ten thousand joined the unemployed last month then less than ten thousand, say eight thousand, joined the unemployed this month, but unemployment has increased this month by eight thousand. Is that clear?”

“Yes. Thank you.” She was grateful, but had been made to feel like an uneducated four year old.

~o~O~o~

By the next time the prime minister met with McAllister the army had buried over two million corpses in mass graves, and the dead included eleven thousand politicians, civil servants, police officers, members of the military, scions of noble houses, including two minor members of the royal family, and financiers. Even a cursory investigation into the affairs of the latter groups had shewn they had all, as the home secretary put it, ‘Had their fingers in the till up to their necks’. At that meeting of McAllister and the prime minister with three of her colleagues McAllister said as his opening gambit, “I’ve taken Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, The Isle of Mann and Cornwall. We are forming a new Nation with Eire, Brittany and Galicia to be known as the Celtic Alliance. I’ve done deals with France and Spain who both reluctantly agreed to it. Eire agreed with no reluctance. It just remains for you to acknowledge us to me. I’d advise silence on the matter for a while to the public, but that’s your choice.”

“What do you mean you’ve taken them?” asked the home secretary.

“Just that. They are no longer under your jurisdiction. There are no longer any UK officials, military or police there. We don’t need such and many of your ex-military and -police have joined our Peace Keepers. Those who were unwilling to join us have been escorted to England. You’ll need all the military and police you can get in England. You are now just England. The United Kingdom is history.”

“You can’t do that!” said a shocked foreign secretary.

“I already have, and any force you send into our territory will have a very sharp lesson in statistics, Most won’t live ten minutes. Now I suggest you accept what you can’t do anything about and listen. As you are already aware all your cities and large towns are awash with the dead. The looters are already out in force and you are only holding the situation down because of your shoot to kill orders. As I told you cannibalism is becoming a fact of life, and though it’s not obvious yet it will be in a couple of weeks. I’ll deal with the looters for you, but you need to move the seat of government to somewhere you can defend for a few years. After that it won’t matter because no matter how many become looters they’ll all be dead rapidly, but you’ll need to be as far south as you can manage, maybe the Isle of Wight? I suggest a large fortification initially. Carlisle castle may suit you and the original city wall is easily repairable. However there are probably other suitable towns in England much farther south. Windsor castle is at least nearby, and Carlisle will only be habitable for fifty years or so according to the climatologists, though some suggest ten years not fifty. We are planning to finish the evacuation of our surviving population in Scotland south to our other territories within five years. You will have to abandon northern England eventually as we shall have to abandon the north of Ireland. We are still discussing where to have our capital, but all are agreed it will be in Ireland and Limerick seems to be the front runner at the moment.”

“How are you going to deal with Northern Ireland without reigniting the troubles?” The home secretary asked with a trace of condescension in her voice.

“The matter has already been dealt with. All who were unwilling to listen to reason and live in peace with their neighbours are now living in peace with their maker. There are now no Catholic nor Protestant institutions, merely Irish ones.”

The home secretary stared in horror and amazement at McAllister and asked, “How long did that take?”

“Less than a minute.”

“So just like that you acted as judge, jury and executioner?”

“No. Just like that I acted as saviour and redeemer for those poor bastards left alive who put up with your incompetence and the terrorists of all persuasions for generations. The so called Irish problem is over and all thirty-two counties are willingly united in the larger Celtic Alliance. The few non-violent so called Loyalists who were not prepared to be considered Celts, despite their Scottish origins, have all been forcibly relocated to within England where they can be as loyal to the crown as they like. They are now your problem as they should have been a long time over.”

There was a long silence before the foreign secretary asked, “You referred to the surviving Scottish population. Are you not moving your entire population south?”

McAllister looked amazed, “I may have a predisposition to dislike the English as my default stance, but I am certainly not stupid enough to consider you have a monopoly on scum. You just have more of them because there are more of you. We have our share, and they have started to die too. We don’t have as many cities and large towns as England, and what we have are not as large, but our inner city scum are no better than yours. Scum is scum. I suspect you are not aware of happenings in our territories, because you have no officials there reporting to you any longer and your media are occupied with events closer to home. And whilst I mind it, you, Owen, are from Cardiff I believe. Should you and your family ever wish citizenship with us you won’t need to apply, for you are all automatically entitled to it and will be welcomed.”

“Hallbeck was Welsh too,” said the foreign secretary.

“I know. Like I said we have our share of scum. Now all I wish is to hear that you accept the situation regarding the Celtic territories of the Celtic Alliance.”

The prime minister looked troubled as she said, “We have no choice but to accept it, but if we wish to see the country through to the next generation we can not be known to have given away half of the United Kingdom, so I have to say for the record that I object to it.”

“You have not given it away. It has been taken from you by a superior force. You were invaded and lost the war, not just the battle. I could have taken England too, but we don’t want it nor its problems. I note your objection, so an assurance you are not going to send an army to its death in a futile attempt to recover your lost lands will suffice. Do I have it? Because if I don’t our discussions are at an end. I have no desire to help a group of people who are not prepared to give me an assurance they have no intentions of invading what is now our sovereign territory.”

There was a long pause before the prime minister, realising there was no choice, said, “Yes you do.”

“Do you have any problems, immediate or potential that I can assist with?”

“Yes. We’re puzzled by the number of deaths. Our statisticians say the number of dangerous prisoners dead matches your prediction, as does the number of non-dangerous who, to use your term, have never contributed, but the number of dead in the ethnic communities is much higher than your prediction and in certain Asian communities nearly two and a half times what the model suggests. How do you account for that?”

“Your data on the prisoners was exactly known therefore the model provides a near perfect match to reality. Clearly the match of the model to reality concerning the ethnic communities is not even close. The discrepancy is due to your error in the populations of those communities you provided me with. Professor Swanson of Imperial has maintained for years your official census data vastly underestimated the numbers of illegal immigrants coming to Britain and your estimates of the nation’s population could be too low by twenty or even forty millions, though she doubted the latter figure. Using the model and the numbers dead you can work backwards to get a close estimate of the actual population. That estimate will get better every time you calculate it due to the larger numbers of the dead and the greater elapsed time. In short you had two point four seven times more population in some of your Asian communities than you told me was the case which is why you have two point four seven times as many dead. You are now in a position to use those better estimates of population to obtain realistic numbers of how many are going to die and when. Any other issues?”

“Other than what you just explained, no, not at the moment, but I would appreciate being able to contact you,” the prime minister replied.

“Difficult, because I’m constantly moving. I’ll set up a mechanism and have the details passed to you as soon as possible. I’ll be going.”

~o~O~o~

After McAllister left the foreign secretary turned to the prime minister and said, “Well, Anne, it’s much better than it could have been. Even had we survived without his help, Scotland would soon have become untenable, and we wouldn’t have been able to put enough boots on the ground in Northern Ireland without leaving England dangerously vulnerable, and there’d have been no point anyway because McAllister is already talking about evacuating the northern part of Ireland. The Isle of Mann would probably have gone its own way, and we’d have been able to do little about it. To all intents and purposes it’s been autonomous for decades. I hate to hear myself say it, but Wales and Cornwall have long been better considered to be economic liabilities than assets. He’s left us with the most fertile and productive farmland which I suspect in the not too distant future is going to be our most significant asset. I suspect we are going to have much greater difficulty managing our population than his folk will, because he implies a greater unity of purpose in them than we’ll be able to rely on. I do wonder to whom he is referring when he says we. Do they I wonder have a government, and if so how was it chosen and why govern from Limerick. I can’t see McAllister wanting to lead a government of any sort. He’s a fix it man and runs without regard to rules even I suspect those of his own folk.”

The chancellor of the exchequer nodded and said, “He’s a bloody hit man on a global scale, and I suspect he’ll be micro-managing the deaths of huge numbers of people. Anyone who gets in the way, God help us, of our survival, and moreover he’ll be saying nothing about it to anyone, not even of his own folk.”

The Foreign secretary resumed, “I have no idea how many persons are involved, but perhaps more worrying than those who are dying is those who are surviving. The responses I received from the Scandinavian ambassadors were all pretty much the same. They expressed gratitude for our offer, but said they’d acknowledged The Celtic Alliance and McAllister had already offered their folk homes with full citizenship and their leaders positions in government. They stressed that under the terms of his offer they would be citizens and not refugees, and they had accepted. I can’t help but think we’ve been out manoeuvred by his acquisition of folk who are probably exceedingly competent at coping with a cold climate and so very valuable. For though we undoubtedly should have offered them citizenship eventually we’d never have offered them positions in government. I think we need to start thinking very differently. They refused to be drawn regards details of where they would relocate to or which nation state they would be citizens of merely saying they had joined the Celtic Alliance.”

The Home secretary took over, “A lot is becoming clearer now. His Celtic Alliance has published a consultation document outlining the principle on which the society is based. In a nutshell there will be no second class citizens, all are welcome irrespective of sex, sexuality, colour, creed or origin, but all must live by Celtic principles which basically means no religion as we understand it and there is a hierarchical clan structure with attendant hierarchical responsibility. It’s like going back five hundred years, but they’re making a big thing of saying the Celts were the only society ever to have had no discrimination on the basic of sex or sexuality. What we would call hate crimes are punishable by death and just about the entire LGBT community has gone over to his folk. The frightening thing is the LGBT have a much higher proportion of educated and skilled folk than the public at large and have become loyal to his cause simply because the Celts offered them security and safety. God help us, but some of our senior civil servants regard the LGBT leaving as a good thing because, and I quote, ‘We won’t have to deal with them.’ In addition huge numbers of retired academics and skilled craftsmen and women seem to have just vanished. The Celts seem to have cherry picked our population clean already, which implies a huge, invisible bureaucracy that is exceedingly well organised. I can only presume any who won’t work or contribute to their society won’t breath either.”

There were puzzled looks of acknowledgement about the table as they looked at the foreign secretary. None remarked on his statements, and there was a long silence before the chancellor asked, “How are the opposition progressing with their leadership election, Anne?”

“I’ve discreetly made it clear, George, that unless they elect Mary coalition is not on the cards, and in any event Mary will be invited to some of our meetings under oath of secrecy. They’ve lost considerable numbers of members to the ‘epidemic’ and are starting to panic at the prospect of all those by-elections to the point where the hard liners are caving in to the moderates’ demand to provide us with what we want in exchange for information as to what is happening. Like us they are continuing to loose large numbers of councillors. It appears that only hard liners are dying, both ours and theirs, and whether that is due to McAllister or not I don’t know. I suspect you are probably correct in your suspicions, George, but I do not consider it wise for us to be aware of all his manipulations. The opposition know we want them to elect a leader as soon as possible to talk to, so I suspect we’ll get what we want in a week or two at most.

“The police and the military have lost a number of senior officers and a lot more lower down, and I’m told that they are amazed at the improvements in their command structures that have occurred overnight with no one’s aid. Harriet, I want recalculations as soon as possible on expected deaths available for the military, and I want details of what they are doing, especially regards logistics and what pressures they are under for man power and equipment. I have considered what McAllister said regarding the remaining inhabitants of our gaols, and I want every prisoner offered a deal, freedom and a clean slate for joining the military. They shall be told any who accept and go awol get summarily shot when caught. Or better still, make that executed not shot and I’ll ask McAllister to deal with the matter before it arises. I’ll schedule a meeting for tonight with senior military and police and I want as much information to look at before then as possible. Owen, I’m going to tell the military to pull every man and woman we’ve got back home as soon as possible, for our foreign interests are now virtually nil. I suspect we’ll loose Gibraltar, the Falklands and just about everywhere else, though whether Spain and Argentina will be in a position to take them remains to be seen for though much warmer than here they are suffering from events too.

“Any of the inhabitants of the protectorates and the like are welcome back here and we’ll bring them back and set them up gratis, if they turn it down they’ll be on their own. I intend to offer amnesty to every British mercenary or any other fighting under a British mercenary commander if they’ll come back home and soldier for us under their own officers. I’ll take a leaf out of McAllister’s book, so all are to be offered instant full citizenship. George, I need to know what we’ve got in the piggy bank to pay folk with and projections on how fast the social security payments are expected to drop. I also want some kind of estimate of time as to when food and warmth are going to be the totality of everyone’s salary, and what we are likely to have in reserve by that time. I’m calling a full cabinet meeting tomorrow afternoon, and I’m still debating whether to invite Mary Oldthorp to it or not. Anybody got any opinions on that? Harriet?”

“If you do you are going to have to provide her with what you shewed Hallbeck first or the meeting will be meaningless to her. Is that wise? If she doesn’t become leader what problems could that cause with no coalition?”

“George, your thoughts please.”

“We need to know what the opposition are thinking. You said you’d invite her to meetings with or without a coalition if she’d be bound by oath to secrecy. I presume that was to find out the mood of the opposition. So the only question is would you accept her oath.”

“Owen?”

“I agree with Harriet and George. She needs the information before the meeting, and for what it’s worth I’d take her oath, but I’m glad it’s your decision. You never know, having been to a cabinet meeting may just give her an edge in their election and her oath of secrecy would anger them. Knowing that one of their own had the information they wanted and couldn’t tell them anything unless they elected her as leader would be an incentive to vote for her. Of course Mary would know if there were ever any evidence by either rumour or their behaviour she had broken her oath she’d be out of the picture, so I can’t see it happening. She’s not stupid. On a different but related subject, sooner or later you are going to have to invoke martial law because elections, despite the opposition’s concerns are going to be irrelevant soon.

“I reread McAllister’s report and the military and police dossiers along with the climatologists predictions three times last night and from those I can’t see how you are going to avoid declaring martial law for a minimum of three years possibly as long as five before it’s no longer necessary. It seems to me you are going to have to do it within a month and preferably as soon as we have coalition. If coalition doesn’t happen because the opposition don’t elect Mary, you can declare martial law, disband the opposition and invite any of their moderate members you want to join us starting with Mary in the cabinet. There will be a hell of a rumpus, but that’s going to happen anyway. Why wait? Get it over and done with and then strangle the media by telling them anything they print, or broadcast that is deemed to add to civil unrest will get them closed down and a one way ticket into the military. It’ll be easy enough to do. Cut their electricity supply and freeze their finances. Public safety will have to transcend freedom of the press. Any individuals that get too difficult get press ganged or quietly shot. We simply can’t have them at large nor afford to feed them in gaol. McAllister was right about prisons, so maybe he is best dealing with them?”

“So are we agreed that Mary is briefed and invited?” The four agreed. “And what about George’s views on martial law? Which I agree with but hadn’t considered doing so soon. Harriet?”

“I think so. I’d prefer it with the coalition in place, but if it doesn’t happen so be it.”

“Owen?”

“Yes. I don’t think you have any choice no matter which way the opposition election goes. I suggest you inform Mary that’s what’s going to happen. She may be able to use other levers and plant different fears to ensure her election if you do.”

~o~O~o~

The four broke up and went about their duties all thinking of the deaths that were already seeming of such huge proportions, but knowing the daily death toll wasn’t even going to peak for somewhere between four and five years, unless of course McAllister brought the peak forward, which he admitted he’d already done with a massive demonstration that had started as a peaceful protest of a terrified and panicked populace but had been rapidly taken over by opportunists who had turned it into a riot of burning cars and buildings and looting. The insurgents had opened fire on the authorities who had suffered a number of fatalities before returning fire. The police and army, despite the shoot to kill policy and the much higher quality of their marksmen, had remained vastly out numbered by heavily armed insurgents, who seemed indifferent to their fatalities, and had had to retreat and leave the looters and arsonists to do their worst. Then the insurgents had all died, instantly. Not a one had been left alive.

The commissioner of the metropolitan police had been irritated with McAllister and held him responsible for them having none left to question and even more when McAllister had said, “You couldn’t take prisoners. You were lucky they didn’t take your men as hostages. My gift works the way it does and I suggest you are grateful or I’ll leave you to deal with the next event, which for you to contain your men will end up killing hundreds of non-combatants, possibly thousands. At least once I’m involved only the scum die. In any event the rioters have no organisation they’re just opportunists. What could you possibly want prisoners for? To question regards their contacts and where they acquired the weapons from? It’s pointless because there aren’t any illegal arms dealers in England.”

“Nonsense. There are hundreds we know about and probably hundreds more we don’t.”

“Trust me. Not one. No chance.”

P.S. This was written many years before Margaret Thatcher became the first female prime minister of the UK in 1979, so though no longer thought anything unusual readers back them were seriously taken aback when the prime minister’s sex was revealed, and I’d taken pains to keep the revelation to as late in the tale as I did.