I first ran away from home when I was 10 years old, my mom had left two years earlier because of abuse from my dad, but she soon left me alone with no contact. The first time I ran away, I was caught two weeks later and returned home. The next time I changed my name was when I ran away into New York City... I became what we call a street rat; living on and under the streets... And now I'm a girl with a Mom and going to school. Go figure...
until I followed this woman Bridgette too closely.
Ashley Phoenix Riley
Chapter 12 Moving On Copyright © 2013 Jessica C
All Rights Reserved. |
Image Credit: Picture purchased and licensed for use from
123rf.com. The model(s) in this image is in / and are no way connected with this story nor supports nor conveys the issues and situations brought up within the story. The model(s) use is solely used for the representation of looks of the main character(s) of this particular story. ~Sephrena
Chapter 12
It is hard to get back to regular life with my other mother and my sisters Dana and Beth going home. Monday Norm is back in his clothes and decides to go to Gopher Hall. It is two buildings down from Star Academy; its entrance is around the corner on the side street. Norm and another street boy Harvey help to set up bedrooms and the kitchen on Monday. Come Tuesday Norm and Harvey have two more boys Lee and Rodriguez help patch holes in walls, clean bathrooms and paint as much as they and volunteers can.
Wednesday before going to school, I give Norm a gold chain and a hug; starting today he is living at Gopher Hall. I bought him a tablet for him to own, with five books already downloaded to it. Mom tells me later, “Ashley, I told Norm: He needs to be there sixty days before it is his.” Mom and I agree to block any downloading so he can read what he has.
“Whether or not it is his, I hope he can have use of it now!” Mom and I see things in a similar way but not exactly the same way.
I return to the store near Times Square with Cathy to purchase the Mother/Daughter Cameo for my Mom. Cathy tears up as we buy it, “She is going to love that Sweetie. What made you think of this as a gift?”
“I was kind of window shopping and it caught my eye. It is kind of symbolic of more than I can say. It is our first Christmas together.” I begin to choke with tears, “I know you are my Mom too, but I think of you more as Mom’s love.”
“Thank you, I love you and Bridgette. It is like I fell in love with the woman of my dreams and I’m getting a daughter I love as well.”
Cathy asks,“ So tell me how you are doing and how it is getting back to school?”
I think of a boy who took an interest in me at school and begin to say something but thought twice and don’t share. “Ashley, what is that about, you were ready to say something. “Is it a boy or a girl…” she saw my reaction and knew.”
“Yeah, Bradley started to take an interest in me today. I thought he's dating another girl, Miranda. But someone says they broke up after football season. Miranda’s a good looking person and very popular, so I am kind of flattered, he’s noticing me.”
“What’s he like? Do you think he’s attractive?”
I describe him,“Well he’s about five eleven, I think he’s attractive and is developing some nice muscles.”
“Does that mean you think he is quite attractive and some kind of a hunk?”
“Cathy, gee that’s embarrassing. You’re not supposed to fill in the information better than I do. It’s not like he’s my boyfriend. And talking to you kinda reminds me that I wonder about what Ryta would say if he and I went out.”
“So are you saying you wouldn’t mind to have him for a boyfriend but you’re worried about your girlfriend’s reaction?”
“I’m going back to calling you Aunt Cathy; it's easier to get angry at you then.” We both start to laugh and hug as we do. I am sure a number of people wonder about us.
Cathy takes me into a store and the second floor where they have a good selection of keyboards and musical instruments. “You’re Mom wants me to get your opinion of you buying a keyboard for your sister Dana?” Mom knows I had already thought of it.
“I don’t want to be greedy, but do you think it will be okay if we pick out a nice keyboard? Dana sounds very good on our piano…”
“…Select what you think would be a good choice?” I picked out a good Yamaha 72 key workstation with the needed extras to give it a stand, amplifier, headset, and other options.
Cathy says, “Let’s get this done so we can get back to our discussion about Bradley.” Cathy asks the manager, “Sir, can you give us a better price on the Yamaha and all this gear?” He refuses until she’s on her Galaxy 4 hunting for a better deal.
“I might not match them but yes, I’ll take 8% off everything if we sell it now.” Cathy agrees and gives him the address and arranges its delivery to Dana’s.
We go to Sardis for dinner; Cathy explains Mom is hosting a client. “So tell me about Bradley?”
“There’s not much to tell.”
“…Then make it up and sound convincing, I’m sure you know more and have thoughts.” I smile as I know she’s not backing off.
“Yes, I like Brad’s attention, now does that make you happy? He’s 5’ 11” with nice muscle tone but not overly muscular. He bumped into me three times today; I think he’s still awkward with girls.”
She giggles as she says, “So do you want to be the girl he relaxes with?”
I say, “It depends on what you mean relaxes with? I wouldn't mind, I’m kind of ill at ease inside about having a boy as a boyfriend.”
“Really, I didn’t notice you having trouble with Ken or Norman. Plus I’ve seen you flirt.” Cathy pauses, she knows I’m serious.
“Neither is my boyfriend, and yes I flirt, but I have trouble with a boy getting close or me seeing it as kissing another boy like myself.” The waiter did a double take having overheard, “a boy like myself.” I think he’s a would-be actor waiting tables.
Cathy's amused, “Sorry, but if I saw a boy like yourself, I would probably start dating boys. Sorry about that are you ready to order?”
Sardis is one of those places you can still order a meal and get what you want. Today they have their turkey and ham dinner, and I order asparagus on a bed of wild rice. I get milk to drink as well as water with lemon. Cathy orders lobster tail and we both share we want a good portion but not too much. With our meal order in Cathy and I head off for the ladies room.
After taking care of other things, I use a bit more make-up for the evening. Cathy compliments me, “Ash, you have a neat sense of fashion and make-up. I like that you use just enough and let your natural beauty shine through.” I look over to Cathy and feel pale in comparison, but I like the compliment.
As we go back to our table, I see Randi and his wife Jean in another booth and go to say a quick hello. Yes, Randi means he’s in femme mode. “Randi and Jean hello, you both look very pretty this evening.”
“Thanks, we’re both getting more comfortable being out. Where’s your Mom tonight?”
“She’s still working so Cathy and I are out for dinner.” I excuse myself as I see our salads are out.
Cathy comments, “Randi looks like she is comfortable being out.” I think Mom sees Randi as one who needs to live more as Randi for his male self to become more healthy and whole.
“So Ash what do you need to do to become more comfortable in your skin? I would like to help if I can.” I’m thinking, ‘Just do what you are doing, helping me to be in touch with being a girl.’
“You and Mom do a lot to help me. It is neat how you two are the same but different. You speak up and kind of push me to step out, you don’t let me stuff things down inside. Like, I wouldn't be talking about Brad, but stuffing my feelings as a girl for a Brad. I know I’m not a boy any longer but it’s like a safe place to go back too.”
“And how is your Mom different from me?”
“She encourages me, it’s like I can lean back against her with her arms around me and I feel safe to think what I can do. Mom would probably suggest I hug Brad the next time he bumps me and said something like, ‘No, I won’t excuse you, what do you want’ or ‘I like you too.’”
“That is so funny; I love the same about her.” She pauses before saying, “Ash, how do you feel about me marrying your Mom?” I can see by her eyes how she loves Mom, which I already knew.
“I hope you already know! I’m glad we are already being a family. I just wish I could see your affection for each other more. Sex is different from affection. Sometimes I’m sure you want to hug or touch each other but you see me or others and don’t. I’m afraid you will grow cold or apart.”
She says, “You’re kidding; we don’t want to offend you by showing our affection more openly. I guess we are a bit overboard in worry about how you and others see and think about us.”
I say, “Do you know how unlike you that is? Next thing you are going to tell me you two worry a lot more than I know.”
“Truthfully, no I shouldn’t be the one to tell you.”
I'm now wondering, “Tell me what? You better tell me or I’m running out and running all the way home to ask my Mom what’s going on!”
“Relax, it isn’t anything earth-shattering, it’s just Bridgette worries about being a good Mom.” I look over to a table about five feet away and realize a couple in their forties is listening to parts of our conversation.
“Do you want to come over and have a better seat to overhear our conversation?”
The man is totally embarrassed and while the woman seemed embarrassed but tried to speak. “I... I know you didn’t… mean it but yes, I, we would like to visit with you?”
I look at Cathy, I’m not sure if she’s embarrassed by me or wondering what to say to the woman. Cath speaks, “Why would you be interested in visiting with us?”
The woman says, “We live about four hundred miles from here. Our daughter at Columbia University just told us she is in love and engaged with her roommate. We were caught by surprise and John and I hurt her feelings. We’re sorry and we came to dinner to talk about what we should do. We didn't mean to listen but it speaks so closely to what is going on in our lives.”
Cathy looks at me and then speaks to them, “We’re open to talking with you, but we probably won’t be saying what you want to hear.”
The woman says, “Despite hurting our daughter Cheryl, we both love her and Aubrey very much. We are from a smaller city but we know some lesbian couples that we respect. But when it came this close to home with our daughter…” The dad chokes-up and couldn't speak. We help them move their table next to ours for drinks and to visit.
“I can’t speak for your daughter, but along with being hurt, she probably loves you, very much. If you are sincere and will love Cheryl and Aubrey as they are; I would think there is nothing the four of you can’t work through.”
“This is Ashley and I am in engaged to Bridgette her Mother.”
“Our daughter is in her second year of grad school and we’re sure her love with Aubrey is no passing infatuation. We just weren’t ready to speak and obviously didn’t know the right things to say.”
“One of the things you better quickly figure out is, will you be willing to accept not only them here, but accept them where your family and friends are concerned.”
The man asks, “You mean we can’t just take it one step at a time?”
Cathy spoke again, “This is not like accepting a theoretical idea or a general statement that you love your daughter. Your love for your daughter is tied to who she is. If she were a heterosexual you wouldn’t separate out the idea of you loving your daughter into compartments. It sounds like you know Aubrey and see her as a good person. It sounds like she should meet the criteria for the love of Cheryl’s life.”
“It sounds like her Mom has some worries about your relationship and her daughter. It didn't sound as though everything is so clear-cut and simple as you make it out to be,” John says.
“Bridgette is twenty-eight, and few things faze her, but yes becoming a Mom to Ashley does. Seemingly we have been so careful around Ash that Ashley wonders why she does not see more of our affection for each other.”
The Mom spoke, “So are you saying if we don’t openly show our love and acceptance of Cheryl and Aubrey. They would probably have a tough time being themselves around our home with family and friends.”
John and Sharon call Cheryl while they're at the restaurant. They apologize and agree to meet with Cheryl and Aubrey the next day. Cathy and I wait till 8:30 and go back to our home and meet with Mom for a good hour and a half. It is truly a good time.
Mom says, “I’ve had a good night as well. Thanks for giving me the time and space to meet here.”
I say, “We were afraid you were still working. We thought we heard someone in the lounge.”
“You did, they will be here into the night. My client’s wife wants time with her, but she's sensitive about going to a hotel or being at home with him as another woman.”
I check and remain in the room where Norm stayed. I reflect that I need to make some regular friends. It has been such a long time; I’m not exactly sure how to go about it. Mom comes in and checks on me, “Mom, I want to start making some regular friends, but I am not sure how to go about it?”
“You seem to do well in meeting people. You just need to stay around others of your age more. Show interest in their lives and let them come to know you. You will soon have a group of friends,” Mom says. Usually, we get to grow up with friends, but for you, it hasn't been the same.”
“You know I can do hair and makeup really well. My doing it for a friend here that could be a nice icebreaker for you. But you would need to sit down and visit with them if I do something like that.”
I am tired and need to get to bed; I set out my outfit for tomorrow. It is the next to last day before the Holiday break.
Choir, chorus and the high school orchestra have a school concert at 1:00 p.m. and the Holiday Concert beginning at 6:30 that evening. The weather is good for December which is very important as a group of us have a surprise after the concert.
Mom and Cathy know we have something planned but has not pushed to know more. I’m not sure but officers Tracy Barnes and Rob may have told them despite our asking not to. In the neighborhood around the school, there is a care center a block and a half away. We will stroll as carolers there and sing about seven more songs there.
Ryta has grandparents there and it is her idea. There will be ten girls from the chorus and another dozen or so guys and girls from the street. Since it is after our last concert Mr. Heard shouldn’t mind. It will be on our own, so the school isn’t liable.
Jeff and two other street guys have good voices that will carry the boys singing. The guys will go to Gopher Hall to shower and change into clean clothes. It’s a touchy moment as they do not know Norm is there, nor does Norm know they will be using the facilities.
I have a silver skirt and a red blouse for the school program. Gabe finds me attractive wearing the skirt and I get compliments from other girls. Which I see as a good sign about how I am dressed. When Gabe comes over to talk I become warm inside. I am not sure if he notices, but I know Ryta does. Gabe gives me a corsage for the program as well as tonight’s concert. I ask him to put on the corsage, but even the second time he is all thumbs. Ryta finally puts on the corsage and I am sure Gabe knows she is his competition.
The school program goes well, but it is flawed with interruptions as students are restless for the winter break. Tonight I am wearing a long dress skirt. It is bright green and the blouse is gold and the chorus robes are an attractive red, part of the school colors. I wouldn’t have put them all together but Mom knew what she’s doing.
Come the closing number we process out of the auditorium. When ten of us continue to walk outside and join the street guys caroling about six other girls and two boys from chorus join us. Officer Tracy Barnes and Officer Rob Woods give us a police escort.
It had turned colder while have been in for the concert. As we begin caroling neighbors come out and most like us caroling. We understood not all would appreciate it; even though we sing a Hanukkah song and others for Kwanza as well songs like “Frosty the Snowman”. Mom for one is not very religious and has mixed feelings about such things. She has her own sense of faith. I am sure it hurts that many so-called religious people judge her, Cathy and others harshly…
To Be Continued...
Comments
Ashley Phoenix Riley - 12
Another great Chapter. Thanks!
Richard
Thanks Richard...
And others for being patient. I was tied up with other things, plus I have decided to make chapters shorter and hope to be getting them out sooner.
Hugs and appreciation, JessieC
Jessica E. Connors
Jessica Connors
Fa la, la la, laa, la la la la!
'Tis the season to be jolly! Oh looky here, it's another Ashley Phoenix Riley episode! (Yea!). Quality time with momma Cathy, yea again. Ashley's thinking about boys, all though she likes it, it also scares the crap out of her. Sounds like a normal girl reaction, but in her mind she's anything but normal. Hopefully with time, this to shall pass. Jess dear, thank you hon. Hugs, Talia
Fa la, la la.. twas time to get back
You like Cathy sees that Ashley needs encouragement to accept her girl self
Hugs, Jessie ^_^
Jessica E. Connors
Jessica Connors
It must be hard
Even today for Cathy & Ash's mom to be themselves even around Ashley & I'm glad that she told Cathy that she wanted her & her adopted mom to show more affection in their relationship & that she wouldn't mind. Now as for the older couple that Ashley confronted. Cathy is right they need to accept their daughter as she is.
Love Samantha Renee Heart
Old Family
Was wondering if they where going to get worked into the plot somewhere, was more or less surprised that Ashley/tom/jack seemed to take it in stride; I'd have thought she'd have had strong feelings one way or another. Anger and resentment would have been expected, how about being angry with the new mom; as Ashley's opinion on the subject wasn't asked for or considered as far as I can see. Not complaining just saying. Great story thou!