It’s very disturbing to all of them hearing Patti’s in the hospital recovering from a car accident, but it cuts Teri straight to the heart. She just dumped her luggage at home and headed for the hospital. All she knew was that Patti was hurt, staying in the hospital and no one would tell her what happened. Seemingly Patti was waiting for Teri but was also worried about her return.

Madison, Patti’s younger sister, was waiting down near the hospital entrance and met Teri as soon as she came in the main entrance. “I want you to know it’s not as bad as it may look. She’ll be a little groggy as she’s just coming out of being heavily sedated.” It scared me more by what she said and taking me to the Intensive Care Unit.

Mrs. Draper welcomed me with a hug and Mr. Draper with a less than warm glare. Her parents are divorced and this was the first Mr. Draper and I saw each other in years. With a smile his sarcasm didn’t amuse me, he said, “You’re modeling becomes your new look I guess.”

I sat down in the waiting area as they told me, Patti had been coming back from a date when others drove through a stop sign and hit the passenger’s side of the car. The others had a heavy-duty four-wheel-drive vehicle that crunched in the side of their vehicle. It broke the big bone in Patti’s leg in two places and her head hit the side of the door window and/or the person’s bumper. And it pushed her over to Chuck. Chuck was bruised with pieces of glass in his hair which caused more bleeding than injury.

Patti suffered a concussion, a terribly bruised arm, sprained wrist, and several cuts or gashes. Once she was conscious and they knew her brain wasn’t bleeding, they sedated her. It was so she wouldn’t thrash or pull at tubes or try to get herself out of bed.

When it came time for a limited number of people to go in, I was allowed to be one of them. I had to wash really well and have a face mask and gloves on. I wasn’t ready for the small cubicle filled with the bed, tubes, and machines everywhere. Tubes and wires were hooked up to her; she was looking at a nurse when we walked in.

Patti had mixed feelings hearing her mother say I was here. I tried reaching for her hand, but she drew it back saying, “I don’t want you seeing me like this.” I could tell by her speech she was either just waking up or having trouble speaking.

“What are best friends for if we can’t be there for each other? I’m glad to see you and know you’re going to get well.”

Patti said, “Thanks, but cut that baloney or I’ll tell you where to stick it.”

Her Mom was surprised to hear her speak like that. Her Dad said, “I guess you’re not as important as you think, miss whoever.”

Patti turns to her father saying, “Shut up, Teri’s been here plenty of times for me. That’s better than…” She stops herself from saying more. The nurse says, “If you’re going to upset her I will have you all leave.”

Patti is now letting me hold a hand and reaches to her mom as well. Patti asks the nurse, “Could my friend give me a hug or kiss?”

Once given permission we do both and Patti wants my face to continue to show. Her mom is talking to the nurse and is happy with what she is hearing. A doctor comes in with her nurse. “Is this your friend Teri that you’ve been waiting for?” Dr. Martha extends her hand in greeting me. I can’t help but wonder if she’s a little young to give Patti all the help she’ll need.

Dr. Martha Langley comes out and asks, “Well do I measure up? …I’m thirty-seven, a capable surgeon, but some think I look like I’m twenty-something and too young to evoke confidence.”

I said, “Yes, I’ve seen that in more than one profession when a woman looks young and attractive. I might be jealous that some have more than their share of gifts. But with Patti, I am very happy and apologize if I came off as being so rude.”

She says, “Don’t worry, I’m glad you’re here. But I’m wondering if you will be around enough or willing to be of help to Patti?” The doctor explained, “Last night when we started to bring her off her sedation medicine. Your name came up several times. She must see you as an important person to her. I don’t want to say more as she has a boyfriend who might be jealous of you.”

The doctor continued, “But he won’t be there for her in ways you can. She says, "You have the understanding and give her a lot of personal attention.”

Patti speaks up, “You can’t just spring this on Teri. She just got here and we haven’t visited. I thought I was going to be the one who asked her.”

Doctor Marti apologizes, “I’m sorry but I need to go to the other hospital. I wanted to know some things as you could be going home as early as two days from now.” The doctor changed her plans and would give us time to visit and return to this hospital later if I was willing to stay.

I feel out of my element, wondering what I could do more than sit with her, hold hands and talk. Her Dad left with the excuse of talking to the doctor. The doctor, however, turned one way. He went back to the waiting area. Mrs. Draper says, “Patti’s on the healing side of things, but some of it is not pretty. Patti doesn’t want just anybody helping her, plus we’re just a week from now school starting. You two have been study partners and she now sees you like another girl.”

Patti says, “Is it okay if I pull my sheets back and let you see me and my injuries? I have a few pins holding me broken leg together. It takes a little getting used to. I think I’ve worked Mom passed you seeing my me naked and even wiping me down there. But I’m scared of asking you if you could.”

The sheets are brought back and between a long stitched area, much of the leg was badly bruised with the two pins looking more like bolts protruding from her leg.

I have mixed feelings of being repulsed and being entranced and seeing how beautiful her naked body is. I hold myself in there despite wanting to run and possibly get sick. Mrs. Draper put her arm around me, “I am impressed, dear. I know you are her best friend, but my head was whirling when I first saw as much as you see now.” She brings the sheets back covering her daughter.

We’re talking and a young resident comes in to see Patti. He asks, “So which one of the good-looking models is this?” I didn’t like his attention, especially taking his focus away from Patti. I let Mrs. Draper introduce me. I decide to keep quiet and wait until he’s gone.

Patti knew what I was thinking, and after he left she couldn’t wait to speak, “I was a little surprised that you didn’t shake your little booty for him. Didn’t he impress you? I thought you might be girl enough to enjoy a young doctor giving you attention. …With your fame, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d be willing to take you out.”

I disagreed, “I hope you’re only teasing. I thought he was rude and might have gotten crude if I led him on.” We could tell her Mom thought we’d be caught up with how cute he was.

“Mrs. Draper if he were two years older and not thinking so highly of himself. I think he would have been far more attractive. I could have enjoyed him flirting with Patti or one of her sisters.”

Patti changed the subject and asked me about my trip to Europe. She seemed especially thrilled to hear about Anita and Liya whom she had seen in fashion magazines. I had been allowed to stay in the ICU unit longer but was now being asked, “You need to go and let Patricia be cared for.”

Patti spoke up saying, “I don’t mind if she stays and sees me when you work on me?”

Nurse Mona says, “I think one or both of you would find it embarrassing if she/he stays.” Patti and I were both surprised the nurse recognized I was a boy.

Patti said, “If you’re going to do things that she may need assistance with at home. It might be good if Teri learned, or my mother will need to be doing everything. I think that would be rough on her.”

Mona says, “She has two sisters that can be helping her…”

Patti spoke up, “Not when the older one goes to college this week. My little sister, well let’s say why she’s willing I don’t want her throwing up on me. She doesn’t handle this stuff, pee, and blood very well.”

Mona says, “Well Teri if we’re going to show you how to help. Why don’t you go out and get her mother so I can show the two of you at the same time.” I left quickly to get her mother. Mona called after me, “If you have pictures you can show her it bring them in; they could help her pass time.”

I went and told her mom, she was wanted in ICU. When she learned it was the two of us. I could tell she had mixed feelings. By the time I relieved my bladder and cleaned up. I guess Mrs. Draper became comfortable with me helping. She said, “I was hoping you would help, but part of me still sees you as Terrance. Unless you were going to be a male nurse. The idea of you helping her grossed me out.” I could have told her I already had sex with her, but I decided it was best not to.

I got my iPhone from my purse and took it back in with me. We again had to wash and use the protective ware required. I was surprised they would allow me to use my phone back there. Mona said, “We will monitor our system and make sure you don’t interfere with it. I’ll even give you a code to connect you to an auxiliary channel so it can be posted on her TV screen.”

That done I showed so photos as we waited for Dr. Martha to be there. Mona acknowledged, she hadn’t believed I met either Anita or Liya. She and Patti were both taken with my photos, even those of Attie posing in her kilt and others from our London photo shoot. I had only one of me that my mother took as well as the photo of the models and Attie and me with them.

Once Dr. Martha was back, she was surprised to see me along with Patti’s mother. “I was going to pull her tube out down here, but I will wait and do that this evening or tomorrow morning.” Pattie almost screaming, pleaded for her to get it out now. “I just wanted to be nice, but we can do it now.” They scooted an extra pad under Patti’s butt and legs. The expecting a possible mess grossed me out but I tried not to show it.

Dr. Martha checks Patti completely, cleaning some healing areas and renewing the ointment being used at different places. “Patti will still have these rods in her leg another three weeks or more and be on traction all of that time. There is a way we can diminish the scars there down the road if she wants.”

Patti speaks up, “Yes, as many scars as possible.”

Finally, we’re back to the tubes: one coming out of Patti’s side, another at the major site of a leg injury and the one for her urinary tract. The one to her side caused significant hurt as it was up under her ribcage and had ridges on it. The Doctor said, “These areas will need to be monitored for seepage and infection. We’ll see tomorrow if this one needs to be packed to allow it to heal from the inside out.” The one from the leg and its surgery site came out nicely and looked great. Dr. Marti and Mona were both very pleased.

Finally, the one from the urinary tract was to be done. “If there is an infection in this area of her body this is one area that will probably show it.” With that, she pulled the tube which wasn’t very long. She showed us the tip of the tube and even had her mother and I smell it. “If it has a foul odor when you clean her. That is a problem that needs to be noted and reported.”

She looked to Nurse Mona, who said, “If you have any notion of having sex with her or to please her or yourself down there, be honest with us and say no to helping her now. An infection from such is way too risky.”

Dr. Martha says, “You still love each other don’t you?” Neither of us was not wanting to respond. We hadn’t even acknowledged it to each other in months and me for one not sure how Patti felt after we parted ways for me to go to Colorado.

Her mother being surprised, “Patti are you still…” There was something else that came to her thoughts, “Was he the one?”

Patti quickly looked at me and then away. There was a sense of shame or something negative that came over her. But she curtly answered her mother, “Yes, but no. I guess it won’t matter soon.”

Dr. Martha apologized to Patti, “I didn’t mean for that to come up.”

Patti looks to me, “You might as well know. It will impact you’re wanting to help me. …I was about two months pregnant when the accident happened. It was after the school year was over and about when you went to Colorado.”

I’m sure I know who it was and they broke up before I went to Europe. I’m very hurt. If I could, I’d have run out of the room. More than the hurt was that she acknowledged she still loved me. During my trip, I too realized how much I still loved her. Everything was confused, nothing made sense. Something held me there, I couldn’t leave.

Dr. Marti broke the atmosphere with a trite statement. “You’re taller than you were.”

I knew I looked taller but was sure I wasn’t. The mini kilt in my picture just made me look taller showing more leg. She asked, “How tall do you think you are?”

“I’m five eight, but that isn’t important right now.” I was a little annoyed that she asked.

Patti and then the doctor agreed, “No, you’re not. You’ve had a growth spurt this summer.” It was something I had wanted to hear, but today I neither believe it nor did it matter. Patti says, “Isn’t this what you were wanting to be a big-time model? You’re almost there but now you’re denying it. I know you’re upset with me and I can accept that. I hadn’t a chance to tell you.”

Mona said to me, “You must be close to five ten.”

“In two-inch heels, yes.”

Her Mom and Dr. Martha had calmed us down before the doctor asked me, “Knowing what you do, are you willing to still help her?”

I thought and then said, “Yes! I said, "I would, didn’t I? I don’t go back on my word.”

My pictures were back on the TV screen in Patti’s ICU cubicle. Mrs. Draper said, “Look, Teri, you weren't four inches shorter in these pictures than Anita and she’s all of six feet tall.”

I waited until the two pictures of me came back up. I wondered, how was it possible? I appeared at best two inches shorter than the two models. Mrs. Draper said, “You were taller when you came back from Colorado. Maybe your growth spurt finally came that you’ve been waiting for.”

Nurse Mona said, “Seeing yourself every day and being busy. Could explain why you ended up being the last to recognize the changes that took place.”

When the next visiting time was announced. I simply excused myself saying, “I’m going to let someone else come in and visit you, Patti.” I leaned over and kissed her cheek and left.

Dr. Martha saw me in the hall going out and stopped me. “I’m sorry you learned that way. She does care a lot about you. I hope someday you know that. But until then you should take time and seriously decide if you can really be here for her. If not, she might as well know soon. Then she can move on from where she is.”

I said, “I realized she didn’t owe me. I’m still a best friend and I’m willing to be there for her. I just need some fresh air.”

I see that Dr. Langley thought there was more. ‘Was it more than I should know?’ “Dr. Langley at two months the fetus wasn’t big of a deal was it, and that boyfriend was no longer. Is there more than I know or realize?”

Dr. Langley says, “I can’t speak for your friend, but for most women, the scars from a woman losing her baby can be as big as any others she might have. It was a life attached to her.” I moved next to the wall and let myself lean against it and go down to the floor. I started to weep openly for Patti and I couldn’t stop.

When I did, Dr. Langley helped me up and took me to a conference room. I started to cry again and Dr. Langley asked the obvious, “You still love her don’t you?” All I could do was to shake my head yes.

Finally, I asked if I could call my mother or sister to be here for me. I was given permission to call, hitting 09 first on a hospital phone.

After my call, Dr. Langley asked, “Did your leg joints hurt during your trip?”

I said, “Yes, they still do, but how did you guess that?”

She smiled, “It often happens when a person is undergoing a growth spurt and since it still hurts there is a good possibility that you’re not finished with this one.”

The doctor confessed to checking out fashion magazines and knew Hattie usually stayed taller than me. “You two being local, I hoped one day to meet you and I’ve followed your modeling career. I like the natural look and the leisurely style you two take to your profession. You’re thin enough but if you’re wanting to be supermodels I hope you won’t follow so many and become sickly thin. I’m not your doctor but I do hope you’ll heed my words.”

I changed the subject and asked, “What color of an evening dress don’t you have that you’d like to have?”

She said, “So far I’ve been conservative, trying to fit in. But I think I’ll get a red dress next.”

“Go to Maurice’s at the mall here and ask for Ms. Briggs. She’ll help get you what you’re looking for. It’s on me.” The Doctor laughed saying she could afford it. “What you’ve done for Patti, and me as well, it’s my treat please let me.”

When I finally left the family conference room and went back out to the waiting area. Mrs. Draper and others were asking where I had been. Stating I had left ICU over an hour ago. Mrs. Draper was worried I took the stairs down to miss talking to anyone. She was mostly afraid I was disgusted with Patti.

I noticed Mr. Draper wasn’t there, nor had he been when I came out to get my phone and Mrs. Draper before.

It hit me Patti is as intelligent as my sister Hattie and has many accomplishments, but her self-esteem and her feeling safe have always been shaky. She had a lot of anger directed at her father. She always wanted his love but was disappointed time and again because it didn’t match what she had for him.

I was glad when my mother and Leah showed up. I went walking with them and brought them in on the information about Patti. Sadly, I acknowledge what I did. I confessed, “Mom she knows that I had sex with Troy, but I treated what she did was worse because she’s a girl.”

Now, Mom’s hurt because I hadn’t told her, but I did so because now I need her support. I feel awful as I hug my Mom as she’s once again here for me. I’m wondering if I can ever be there for someone like she and others have been for me. It’s like Mom knew my thoughts. “I am impressed, young lady. Don’t beat yourself with ‘what ifs and what you see as flaws. I think you will do well in being there for Patti. I’m willing to be there to help and I think Hattie will be too.”

“Now what’s this about not knowing you grew this summer? …I picked that up in England but I was certain you realized being next to Liya and Anita you’re close to being their height. Your sister Attie has been giggly with delight while we were in London. She realized it. You bumped into another good break in meeting them and they’ve befriended you two. Even Anita was bewildered by you got getting happier to be around them. They all but invited you to Giselle’s fall gathering in New England. And all you could say was that’s for the supermodels.”

“She was glad you haven’t assumed the title of being a supermodel, but she thought you’d be more excited like Attie at the invitation.”

I said, “You mean she was serious that Giselle has invited us. I checked that would be the second week in a row that New England Patriots play an away game. Wives and other women not traveling to the game would probably enjoy not focusing on football.”

Mom says, “Let’s get back to current things. Are you serious about being there for Patti? I know you have a big heart when you put your mind to it. But you’re becoming another daughter and even more sensitive than you already were. Something like that could be emotionally hard on you. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Mom part of my therapy will be, being there for my best friend even if we’re not going to be the first love of each other. I’m afraid I crushed her feelings and then walked out on her.”

“Well,” Mom says, “the next visitors’ time you better get back in there and affirm for her that she is as important as ever. Leah or I will stay around to give you a ride home whenever needed.”

It would have been another hour before I got to see Patti, but Mrs. Draper thought I needed to be in there sooner. She had gone back, talking to Patti and the Staff. She came back out and took me back. “Patti’s afraid you’re not really out here and wanting to come in to see her. She said, "you’d be back because you are best friends like you said. She thought she hurt you too much for you to already to be back.”

I said, “I was the one who hurt her, not trusting her and knowing better than to judge her.”

I was hoping Ms. Draper would say that weren’t so, but she didn’t. She actually told me, it had torn Patti’s heart. My only joy if that is true I did not wait until tomorrow or the next day.”

Despite the getting washed and putting on all that was required to see her. The first thing I did when I went back was to start crying, asking for forgiveness and telling her I loved her. A new nurse, Nurse Tanya came in saying I needed to regain my composure. She said, “There must be times as a model you need to work hard to keep your composure. I am sure Patti is relieved you came back and care about her. Please, you need to calm down.”

It would be ten o’clock before they told me to go home and get some rest. Leah was the one who went back home early because she needed to get back to college. She would talk to us during the week and be back for a long weekend and a lot of business on Friday.

Mom and I had a good discussion on the ride home. She was happy that Patti and I were back on good terms. That Dr. Langley said I was still in my growth spurt; made mom and me both very happy.

There was a note from Leah, “You and Attie got a formal invitation from Giselle for the third Sunday in October. Giselle is asking you two to each model two outfits. You’ll both be offered $2,500, hopefully, that’s to be given back to some charities she’s supporting. You are welcome to offer a charity you both agree on.”

Hattie’s still awake and comes down to talk. “Isn’t that a big surprise? Anita text me that “We have arrived. How is Patti doing?” She knew from Leah there was a not so happy surprise, but Leah wouldn’t say anything past that. But I don’t keep secrets well from Hattie. I took the time to give her a rather long version of what happened the accident and today.

Hattie said, “Do you think there’s a chance you and her will ever get back together and marry?”

“Gees, Hattie, don’t get ahead of things?”

Its two days later and Patti’s coming home and whatever pain medication they used isn’t near strong enough to block the pain she’s having. She doesn’t know I’m here as they are setting her up in her special bed with all the ropes and gadgets and getting her into bed. I am cringing every time I hear her cry or scream. I am crying with her but in the kitchen and out of the sight of others.

I am finally allowed in the den where her bed has been set up. I’m holding her hand and she’s squeezing hard. I would like to suggest we trim her nails, but she already feels bad enough and plenty uncomfortable.

Her mother needs to go and get prescriptions, swabs and gauze pads. It will be my first time with her alone. She was a mess from the trip home as well as the tears that dried on her face. I was using a warm damp cloth to first clean her face. I lift the sheet covering the upper half of her body. Even with the injuries and bruising she still looks beautiful to me. Some crusting of blood wiped away. The gauze that packed where the tube under her rib cage had been looked nice and pink. Indicating it was healthy and without infection. Half the nicks where shattered glass cut dotting her body, cleaned up nicely. Patti said, “Some of the nurses and aids that cared for me weren’t as gentle as you are.”

Near when I was done helping to clean her up and check things as the doctor and nurse told me. Patti was getting sad and wouldn’t look me in the eye. I said, “Patti you know you need to talk about what happened. It’s okay, you’re safe now.”

Patti said, “It wasn’t the accident I was thinking about. I don’t think you’re the one to share it with. I already hurt you enough.”

“I might be the one that you really do need to talk about it with. We are supposed to be best friends and you don’t know I feel guilty too.”

She said, “You do. You really do?”

We talked and Patti knowing I had sex with Troy had gone off the pill, until near the end of school. She hadn’t allowed herself enough time for it to be properly working when she had sex again.

I had thought the miscarriage in a way worked out good for me. “Patti I wasn’t understanding all that it meant to you. I so wish I understood that's part of being a woman.”

Patti said, “You seem to understand now. It was the same way with you telling me you had sex and didn’t think it would bother me. I guess we both wanted the other to care. I know I forced myself just to be your friend, but down inside if felt way more love then I was saying.”

The past five months had a bittersweet feel to things though most things were going very well. When Mrs. Draper returned, Patti was lightly crying but it was more of a happy cry. Mrs. Draper hadn’t realized that at first and she became angry with me.

When Patti explained what happened the three of us had a healthy cry together.

The next week I’d be back to school and a retired nurse would watch Patti until her mother or I got there…

To be continued one more chapter…