The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2506 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad

I struggled to open my eyes, in the background the radio was suggesting it was nearly half past seven. I groaned, rubbed my eyes and opened them again. No it wasn’t a dream, Livvie was standing by the side of my bed pointing at the clock. I got out of bed, nearly stumbling on top of her.

“Are the others up?”

“Yes, they’re showering.”

“You’d better go and join them, hadn’t you?”

“No, I’ll shower with you, in case you fall asleep again.” I wasn’t too happy about that but within two minutes we were both standing under the warm water as I washed her hair.

“Will I look like that?” she asked pointing at my pubes.

“You look like it now, except for some hair.”

“Do all ladies get hairy front bums?”

“I think most do, though the amount of hair is variable.”

She seemed fascinated by my secondary sexual characteristics. If I shower with the girls, it’s usually plural and it inhibits too many personal questions, so I shouldn’t be too upset with her.

As we showered, I washed her back and she did the rest herself. Then it was out and drying ourselves. “Is Danielle up?” I asked remembering why I was still tired and my eyes were all stuck together.

“Oh yes, Mummy, she’s taking her certificate to show her class.”

“What certificate?”

“The blue one you gave her last night.”

I dashed out of the bathroom and flung on my clothes while Livvie stood laughing in the doorway. “Okay, what is so funny?”

“Trish said it would work.”

“What would?”

“You’d get a move on if I told you Danni was taking her certificate to school.”

For a moment I felt angry, having been outmanoeuvred by a nine year old, or a pair of them. Then I laughed because it was funny.

They were all downstairs waiting for us. Danni had made me some tea and Trish was buttering some toast which she placed in front of me. “Hurry up, Mummy, we’re going to be late.”

We weren’t but we only just got there for half eight. I kissed each one and thanked them for waking me up and helping with breakfast. I watched as their bums swung in the kilts they wore as a uniform. Even Danni’s was taking on a female shape thanks to the combination of her age and the oestrogens. For a moment I thought of Billie and how she was missing from this group. She’d have been quite female looking by now. I sniffed back a tear and drove to the university.

The morning was quite a struggle—mostly to stay awake while I peer reviewed an article on rodents for some august journal. It was just so boring. Did I write such awful stuff? Perhaps I did. Such was the nature of science articles. Essentially, we give you loads to read for three years and if you can prove you stayed awake, we give you a degree. There might be a bit more involved but I’m too tired to think of it.

Mid morning, Delia came in presumably to see if I was awake or not. She brought in a cup of coffee with her, so I overlooked her impertinence. “We have a problem, professor.”

“We?” I asked. “I was under the impression that we paid you to sort out problems.”

“I don’t have the qualifications to solve this one.”

“Is there someone we know who can?”

“Oh yes.”

“Well get him to help you solve it.”

“It’s a her, professor.”

“Fine, ask her to help you.”

“I’ve just adjusted her schedule.”

“Fine, any problems, let me know.”

“Oh I will, professor,” she went out chortling to herself. I drank my coffee and stirring my limbs I wandered out to Delia’s office.

“What was the problem?”

“Oh, Dr White has gone sick.”

“What’s wrong with him this time?”

“He says he has flu.”

“Yeah, man-flu,” I offered and she cackled.

“What have you had to cancel?”

“Nothing so far.”

“How come?”

“Dr Freeman is doing his tutorials and I booked you to do his lecture this afternoon.”

“What?”

“I booked you...”

“I’m far too busy, we have that bloke from—who was he?”

“Mr Stephenson, he’s apparently got flu as well, so your meeting is cancelled and as it’s the introduction to ecology lecture, I thought you might be able to do it.” As I set the course up in the first place I probably could do it. The point is, did I want to do it?

“I’ve got your lecture notes out for this course.” She indicated a large ring binder on the adjacent desk.

“I might make you cancel it yet.”

“But of course, Professor. I just thought it might be nice for them to experience a true professional in action. I hear stories from your post grad students about you teaching this course. No one has done it like you since. I wished I could have seen you in action.”

“Get my review of that ghastly article typed up with a covering letter and you can sit in this afternoon—assuming I decide to do it of course.”

“But of course, Professor.” She beamed at me and it felt like she was in on some joke of which I was the butt. It was quite disconcerting.

“More tea, when you have a few minutes, Delia.”

“But of course, Professor.” She almost tittered when I picked up my lecture notes.

I didn’t really need them, I mean, I was this course until I rose up the ladder and passed it on to someone else. I was due to do it in two hours time and it lasted two hours. I called the school and asked them to keep my children for me, I might be a little late. Then I dug into my notes and it all came flooding back. Oh well, no time for novelty, I’d have to improvise as we went along. I felt my heart rate rising as the adrenalin kicked in bringing back the familiar butterflies in my tummy—yeah, this was what I used to do—and better than anyone else, except perhaps Brian, he of the particle physics and tv shows.

Delia typed up my critique of the rodent article and I sent her to get me a tuna roll for lunch while I went to speak with Heather our technician. I needed some props.

When the news that I was lecturing got out I somehow ended up with quite a few more than were signed up for the course. We have a policy of allowing students from different courses to sit in on lectures because it enriched their education and occasionally caused them to switch courses. In the old days, we’d gain about a dozen that way while losing perhaps a couple.

I spotted Delia sitting quietly at the back with her notebook at the ready. We finished setting up as the last student arrived. It was like the old days, standing room only. Oh well, let’s hope I haven’t lost my touch.