The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2485 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

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“What shall I wear?” asked Danni giggling as she ran up the stairs ahead of me.

“Something fairly tidy—you’ve got plenty of clothes—go and find something.”

“What are you going to wear?”

“I haven’t decided yet, now scoot. Trish, in the shower please.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“Why?”

“Daddy’s taking us out to dinner, c’mon, hurry up. What the...” I’d wandered into the girls’ bedroom and she had her waterproof on again.

“I wanted to see what had jammed last time—whatever it was, it’s done it again.” She looked suitably hot and bothered.

I pulled the zipper back to the outside of the coat and it unzipped easily. “There, the zipper only works from the one side.”

“Oh.” She seemed genuinely surprised. With that she zipped it up again and then undid it. “Hmmm, design fault,” she muttered before taking off the coat and throwing it carelessly on the bed. Next moment she was walking in just her knickers to the bathroom.

“Is it a good idea to strip off before you get to the bathroom?”

“Like I’m going to keep my clothes on in the shower—duh.”

“No, but what if Daddy or Gramps came up the stairs as you were crossing the landing.”

“They’ve see it all before.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Daddy an’ Gramps, they’ve seen yours, well Daddy has, so why should mine worry him?”

“Because it isn’t the done thing.”

“’Tis, I just done it.” She sniggered and jumped into the shower cubicle. I laid out a skirt and top for her, then hung up one for Livvie and Meems. I would dress Cate and Lizzie a little later.

I called Liv and Meems to shower while I dried Trish’s hair and combed it out. Then I did the other two while Trish dressed. “Can I wear some make up?”

“You can use some mascara and eye shadow and bit of lip gloss.” She dashed off to apply it before I changed my mind. Livvie had her hair combed out and also asked about makeup then ran off giggling.

Meems was last and as I combed her hair I told her about acceptable makeup. “What for? I never wear the stuff." It was true, she didn’t.

Danni appeared wearing more paint than a decorator’s overalls, “You goin’ in those?” she asked sneering at my clothes.

“No, I haven’t had time to change.”

“Better ’urry up it’s half twelve.”

“Could you wash Cate while I go and get Lizzie?”

“Yeah, what she wearin’?”

“I’ve hung stuff on her wardrobe door.”

“’Kay.”

I got Lizzie from Jacquie and told her to go and change if she was coming. She decided she’d stay with Tom and have some curry. I asked her then to wash and dress Lizzie while I went and showered.

I emerged from the bathroom swathed in towels just as the heavens opened and the rain lashed against the windows. At the rate it was falling, I’d have been drier under the shower.

I decided on a beige coloured skirt in a sort of sculpted check pattern which had faint stripes of green, red and black running through it. I teamed it with a silk cowl necked blouse in cream with a beige cardigan. A necklace, bracelet and some earrings followed as I quickly did my makeup and gave myself a few squirts of No 5. I opted to wear my hair down and added a pair of brown knee boots with two-inch heels. If the rain continued, I’d wear my trench coat and my Burberry hat.

Downstairs I bumped into Sammi, who made me look scruffy. “It’s only the hotel,” I said to her.

“What? Oh, I’m going out with Benedict.”

“Is that the lad from IBM?”

“Lenovo it’s called these days.”

“Whatever, is it?”

“Yes, I’m not a slut.”

Julie and Phoebe emerged both in slinky dresses making me look decidedly underdressed or old. I decided it was the former. “Are you wearing knickers?” I gasped at Julie.

“Wadda you think?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I asked.” I could practically see freckles on her bum, the material was so tight.

“Duh—course I am, they do these special ones in Marks ’n’ Sparks, no VPL.” Well, you learn something every day. “At your age I s’pose it don’t matter.” She ducked as I swiped at her and she nearly fell off her precipitous heels. They had to be at least five inches with the platform—crazy girl. Phoebe wore something about an inch lower, but still high enough to break her ankle.

“We’re going to lunch not clubbing,” I said looking at our two glamorous bodies. Tom arrived and wolf-whistled at them, I just stood and shook my head. Even Danni looked underdressed compared to these two exotics. Simon arrived and after laughing told them to go and change, he wasn’t taking them out like that.

The upshot, lots of tears, Julie refused to come but Phoebe changed into a pair of jeans and a top with low heeled boots. She could have been going to college or shopping. He wasn’t happy about her under-dressing either but catching sight of my glare, he decided he’d let it pass. I gave Julie the money to order a pizza for her lunch which she said she’d share with Jacquie, who seemed happy enough with the arrangement.

Simon had ordered the minibus for half-past one and it arrived pretty well on time to ferry us to the hotel. Naturally, the staff tended to fawn over us, which the kids love—they feel important—but I hate. They brought a high chair for Lizzie and warmed the jars of food I took in the rather large bag of stuff we carry around with us when we take her out, nappies, wipes, change of clothes and so on.

Cate sat on a booster cushion between Phoebe and Danni who would keep an eye on her while Meems and I fed Lizzie. As we weren’t driving, we did indulge in some alcohol but even allowing Phoebe to have a glass, we only had one bottle of very nice red wine to wash down the first course of sardines in batter on a rough salad; a main course of locally produced, organic roast pork with half a dozen vegetables and a dessert of peach sorbet with ice cream to finish.

Simon had a brandy with his coffee, I had just a cup of green tea which Phoebe and Danni also ordered. The younger ones had drinking chocolate and Lizzie, a small drop of organic Cathy juice, which I’d expressed last night. She fell asleep in my arms soon after, waking to give a huge burp and then zonking again. Simon nearly fell off his chair laughing, as did the youngsters. Phoebe and I blushed and smiled and Danni chortled.

It seems when all else fails, toilet humour wins through every time. It says a lot about the human species. We may present as technologically sophisticated beings, but underneath, we’re really naughty children who laugh at jokes about flatulence and other bodily functions. That and our compassion is what makes us human and may we never change.