The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2416 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

The firing became more sporadic and I wondered if they were trying to outflank us, which was unnecessary as they were both bigger than us and possibly each had a gun against my ball of string—perhaps I could use two twigs and knit myself a gun or a crossbow. That got me thinking.

I checked my rucksack again, I had notebook—I always carry one when in the countryside, binoculars, a hand lens, secateurs, penknife, and ball of string. It was possible. I also had the hammer and half a pound of nails. First though, we needed to move.

We crept through the undergrowth for twenty minutes, pausing every now and again to listen to see if our enemies were tracking us. They didn’t seem to be. I cut a piece of hazel about an inch thick and six feet long. I then cut three pieces about a yard long but much more slender. They started shooting at another notice in the opposite direction, I sent Danni off to follow the path back to the study centre and to call the police. She was nervous of going on her own, but I needed to try and make things safe.

She shot off like a gazelle and I set to work on my own defence, including trip wires in all directions. I spent half an hour making my weapons before I heard movement in the bushes heading towards me. The one I’d had the fracas with discovered the trip wire, the hard way, he fell heavily by the sound of it.

“You all right, Kev?” called his friend.

“No, the place is booby trapped, think I’ve broken my ankle, you’ll have to get her.”

“Your wish is my command, okay, Mrs Jaguar, I’d give myself up if I were you, if I have to come and get you, I’m gonna make it much rougher for you.”

As hunters they had very little tracking skills, presumably lamping for deer, which is about shining a very bright light on them at night and they just freeze, you can then release dogs or shoot them. They do it in Australia hunting kangaroo.

“I’m coming to get ya,” he called and walked towards me, hidden behind a bush. His next utterance was a scream as I let fly with my improvised weapon. He screamed some more as I let fly again and this time he dropped his gun rolling about on the ground, moaning and thrashing about. I crept up to him and took the gun taking the bolt out. He wasn’t so boastful now, but he was bleeding quite a bit and probably in shock. I left him and went hunting his friend. Why didn’t I take the rifle? I don’t have a permit.

“Gazza, where are you?” called his friend making it very obvious where he was. A bunch of Brownies would have more idea of woodcraft than this pair. I circled around behind him and jabbed him in the back of his neck ordering him to drop the gun. He did so, then laughed when he saw my weapon.

“You bitch, you conned me with that toy?”

“Toy is it? Tell that to your friend, he’s currently passed out from blood loss and I hit him from twenty feet.”

I went to tie up his hands but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me over. “I’m gonna kill you, bitch.” He drew a sheath knife from his belt and with one hand on my throat he couldn’t stop me grabbing my secateurs and stabbing him hard in the groin. Boy did he scream, especially when I did it again. He rolled on the ground writhing in pain. Moments later the cavalry arrived complete with armed response unit and helicopter overhead. I immediately surrendered and let the police take over.

Once again at the police station I faced the detective inspector, this time with Jason sitting beside me. “You realise I could charge you with attempted murder?”

“I doubt you’d make that stick and you know it,” countered Jason, “The two men had rifles, Lady Cameron had improvised weapons.”

“They look like toys, but we’ve got two men in hospital because of them. Why didn’t you run with the girl?”

“I needed to make sure she got away to call for help.”

“What if they’d caught you?”

“They didn’t, did they?”

“They had guns f’Chrissake.”

“I had noticed, but this deer fought back.”

“Bit of an understatement. I mean this thing, it’s like something I made when I was a kid. Fancy y’self as Maid Marion?” He shrugged. “It’s a clever bit of impro, that’s for sure, but I wouldn’t have thought it would stop a man—but it did, didn’t it.”

“He walked towards me telling me how he was going to sexually assault me before he killed me and then he was going to do my daughter.”

“So you decided to take him out?”

“I tried to even the odds a little.”

“So you shot his bollocks off?”

“I was aiming for his leg.”

“And the second arrow?”

“He was screaming at me and waving the gun at me so I fired at his arm.”

“You aimed this thing?”

“Roughly, I hit his shoulder.”

“And he dropped his gun.”

“Yes, I took the bolt out of it and dropped it in the bushes out of his reach.”

“Then went after the other guy?”

“Only to detain him until you arrived.”

“Stabbing him in the bollocks twice.”

“Only because he was going to kill me, you saw the knife he dropped.”

“Because you cut his dick off.”

“I had a pair of secateurs in my hand, the other was trying to stop him perforating me with a rather large knife, anywhere on his body was a target.”

The questioning went on for another two hours before they released me on bail. For those of you who hadn’t worked out what I did, I made a simple long bow but with about twenty pounds pull, so good enough for close range. The arrows I lashed three nails to the end of them and cut flights from the cover of my notebook. The nails were sharp enough to penetrate clothing and cause a nasty wound. I aimed higher than I would normally because of the weight on the arrow head. I was genuinely aiming for the top of his leg when he stepped forward and I hit his groin, no wonder he yelled a bit. The second was a head shot but he moved again and I hit his shoulder, he went down then.

I told the story to Simon who goldfished. “Bloody hell, woman, you could have killed them.”

“I think that was their intention, I have no regrets. Danni was safe, that was my priority, then my own safety.”

“Don’t tell me, then the deer.”

“Of course.”

“You realise they could do you for armed assault, or grievous bodily harm?”

“They can try.”

“What if their defence claims they only wanted to talk, to apologise for the misunderstanding earlier?”

“I’d tell them to ask their clients why they spent half an hour terrorising us, shooting the signs we’d put up, if they just wanted to talk and shooting the signs doesn’t tend to show they were feeling apologetic. No, they were intent on hurting or killing us.”

“And you weren’t?”

“If that were the case, why didn’t I just take the rifle and shoot them both?”

“Okay, I’ll believe you.”